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AspirinTheory Archive

View 0 posts and 26 comments by AspirinTheory on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I divorced when my kids were 3 and 6. Yes, that totally hurts. Same deal — come back home, time to clean up toys, and I just miss them and I would cry to myself. That was 14 years ago. I got over it — it took a few months — and I realized that while I was missing them, they were missing me. So every visit they got to take a toy back to their mom’s and they had to bring it back each visit. As my kids got older we did all those things. Special crayons. Bracelets. Gumball machine rings. Drawings of…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 06:30 PM
3

“Freedom is priceless”
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 05:09 AM
21

It's been 12 years since divorce. My kids are now 19 and 17. When they were little, I wanted to spend every holiday and experience the traditions of my family with them. As they got older, they picked and chose which traditions they like and they became the driver of what happens around the holidays. My kids, who I never got to spend lots of Thanksgiving time or only weirdly split holiday time with, both are flying to see me Tuesday and spend all the way through Saturday with me. They don't want…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 09:35 AM
6

As good gal pals told me after a few years post my divorce, " A girl in every port is not a bad lifestyle." I took that advice and while it is super different than being married to one woman, I am a LOT happier and don't feel the pressure to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 10:08 PM
1

If true.... “making a false statement” to the cops, in most jurisdictions, is a felony. Using that as submitted evidence in a judicial proceeding is perjury. The cost of attorneys fees and hell you have to go to is harassment. And you can sue for that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 03:36 PM
1

Some states have serious civil penalties for lying over such things. I hope you’re suing for harassment and moving for perjury. I know it’s expensive. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 03:03 AM
1

Mine made up “early non-involved breast cancer” to the judge and when we requested subpoena power over the diagnosis my ex said, “no, it’s important the divorce continue,” etc. The judge never asked and she never commented again. All made up. 10 years later, I still know it was bull****. Crazy stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 03:01 AM
2

I mean, this ^ first part needs to be called out. I sure hope you aren’t thinking the 9500/mo will drop to something like 5k a month once ‘the dust settles’. The Courts will regard your 9500/mo as ‘sustainable’ since you entered into the agreement to support her voluntarily and if you put up any fight I would expect you to be on the hook for some of her attorney’s fees. Interim support isn’t tax deductible to you; and it’s not taxed to her. Her attorney would be smart to punch this into a $12-$1…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/20 03:17 AM
1

Not all shops that offer wedding gift lists require the wedding date. Look for the stores you think your ex might like, and hunt for wedding lists with your ex’s maiden name. There’s many to look for, but if you’re lucky, you’ll get a decent confirmation of a wedding date, the parties involved, and possibly the location. Then backtrack to that county and search for the license and the (sometimes) required public notice in the local paper.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/19 10:34 PM
1

Divorced Dad in CA here. I just got through 14 months of extensive litigation with my exwife over child support issues, and it cost a lot. I’m very sure you cannot waive the obligation of child support. Even if the two of you agreed to it, it’s very very likely to be entirely unenforceable. As I recall, the right of support is to the child, not to the mom, and the State emphasizes that the first and most important obligation is for the child to be supported by both parents. The mom absolutely ha…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/19 06:28 AM
1

I hate to agree with /u/Igleslogle, but there's some truth is this: "...once you split you are no longer friends you are no longer anything." ​ I'd hire a lawyer RIGHT NOW (just for you) to draw up the 50/50 custody and child support documents and nothing else. Have the two of you sign it and press for the Court to approve it ASAP. This is a golden moment for you, make the most of it right now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 04:55 PM
1

You're in a no-fault divorce? In California? Did the judge impute any income to her? Why is there a nanny, is she working? Your spousal support is not permanent, right? It's time-based? ​ I paid $8k a mo temporary support for 2.5 years and was constantly broke, with my final number being around 6k a mo and no nanny costs. My alimony/spousal of 4k a mo ended Dec '17 after paying it for 7 years. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a rough journey.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 04:29 PM
2

You're asking for some possible expenses down the road where the court filings cost money, you desire to grab refund money could get split with her, and you're on the hook for her attorney costs. ​ Ask for binding arbitration on the issue with you two splitting the cost 50/50, and you pick the arbitrator. Or just talk to your attorney and see what the right thing to do is. Don't make things worse with your pending judgment of divorce in the wings, you piss off the judge, and the judge needles yo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 03:22 PM
5

Get a new attorney. Nothing is in stone yet and you're early enough in your case that the right attorney can help you get a good outcome for you. This may require a new(?) retainer to be paid, and that will hurt. Ask for a payment plan that gets the lawyer's retainer paid in full before you're due in court. Your current lawyer's 180 degree turn around is maddening and annoying as hell and so very common. Lawyers will give you the best outcome possibility to sign you as a client and then when SHT…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 03:07 PM
6

"Hate is the poison you drink thinking the other person will die." -- Chinese proverb. ​ Focus on you. Get happy. Be happy with yourself. She's now in the past. No matter how she wronged you, revenge isn't the answer. Living a good life and leaving pain behind is the right answer. Recognize that there may be a pattern to her, and eventually, her bad karma will boomerang ad destroy her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/19 06:01 PM
2

This. Call the Clerk of Courts in the County where the Courts are, be ready with your docket number, and ask for any filings in regards to your case that you may not already have. Clerks are really helpful if you keep your questions simple and to the point; you’ll likely pay copying fees per page but it’s minimal in all. In the event papers have been filed that you’re required to respond to, you may want to seriously think about retaining a lawyer to ask for more time to reply since it seems you…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/19 02:26 AM
2

Give space to that. Honor that. The dream isn’t dead in you. But the person to share that dream with is now someone else. That’s ok. It will all be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/19 11:52 PM
1

Deep breath. Sometimes, the right things in life feel like curve balls. Perhaps this is serendipitous. What if this break down came after you'd had kids? Her being sure that she doesn't want this is hard to get through. It's a gut punch; the blissful future you both dreamed of and shared is gone. The time now is not to think of the replacement. The time now is to focus on you. Focus on your health, your movement, you love of winter sports, and how to neatly tie up the things you have together an…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/19 06:51 PM
5

You need to get an attorney and file for divorce right away...like yesterday. Along with that, file a petition for emergency custody and a temporary parenting plan. If there's any domestic violence at all, top it all off with a restraining order and get her out of the house. Sadly, this is almost the exact post I was going to make. ​ Do it now while she is employed and has a job. Do it now while there are assets to divide up. New house may not survive, but work that out with your attorney. She W…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/19 05:44 PM
1

Both sides have to give. You’ve already put forth a 50/50 split. Can you start someplace simple? Like the vehicles. Or the house? (Which maybe you want to sell and she doesn’t?). You can at least agree on the value of the things — car, house, chattel (at garage sale prices), retirement or investment assets? The sticking point is always money. It’s ok to put a time limit on mediation. In two sessions or three more sessions or by March or something. If you don’t make serious progress then it’s off…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/19 02:48 PM
5

In some courts, the fact that the parties have attempted mediation with unsuccessful results moves the court to speed up the timetable of hearings. Some courts *require* an attempt at mediation, so you're checking off a box regardless. In some states, what is discussed and shared in mediation cannot be brought forward in the divorce trial. If you haven't already discussed this with the mediator, I'd want you to know the answer to that question. Cutting everything down the middle is fair and righ…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/19 05:12 PM
2

Then that likely cuts off a claim of improper or inadequate service. There might be some hocus pocus of whether she was in a proper mental state of mind (I.e. not high or jacked on narcotics) when she got served, but any email / text histories you have of conversations with her In the months after where she acknowledges having been served would probably defeat that argument. So I think her only recourse is to appeal the summary judgment — and not being a lawyer, I don’t know what strategy or log…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/19 01:46 AM
1

So you personally served her? And confirmed service to the court? Or was service done by a third party?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/19 01:38 AM
1

She could try to appeal before the clock runs out - I don’t know what the timeline is. 1 year? I think that’s the only recourse she possibly has. Ahhh, she could claim inadequate service. But if you have an attorney worth anything, they would’ve ensured proper service was effected.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/19 01:23 AM
1

California has similar rulings from the Courts protecting against 'voluntary underemployment' -- called Gavron. Talk to a lawyer for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 03:44 AM
1

Don’t rush it. Tinder is full of sugar babies looking for sugar daddies (you are a prime target) and Bumble seems to be full of serious daters. With the extra time and space in your head, go do YOU. Do the things you’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get a chance to do, and go be awesome yourself. Find new hobbies, new sports, new hangouts, and cherish the friendships that come back into your life. Focus on that first before you even think about dating even semi-seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/19 07:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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