Mediation today

AmazingPositive6 · 2019-01-07T17:06:31+00:00

I would stick to 50/50. That is fair regardless. I can't understand why women pursue more than what is fair. Just no that mediation is has to be about give and take and that no one will leave happy. Mine was a total waste of time. My wife didn't have any proposals that were remotely fair. So try to stick to the facts and how best to support your children.

AspirinTheory · 2019-01-07T17:12:58+00:00

In some courts, the fact that the parties have attempted mediation with unsuccessful results moves the court to speed up the timetable of hearings. Some courts *require* an attempt at mediation, so you're checking off a box regardless.

In some states, what is discussed and shared in mediation cannot be brought forward in the divorce trial. If you haven't already discussed this with the mediator, I'd want you to know the answer to that question.

Cutting everything down the middle is fair and right, and if she's asking for more, she will have a tough time in the courts. Her efforts in mediation have to be based on some reality -- I'd ask the mediator if that's a requirement, for a 'good faith' effort to be put forward.

The mediator is only a facilitator, not a decision making entity. If you and your STBXW aren't on great terms, no surprise that the mediation isn't going well.

Good luck and remember to breathe. This too will pass.

dday_throwaway3 · 2019-01-07T18:17:50+00:00

Mediators will lean on the weaker party to get an agreement.

Don't be the weaker party.

formulagodeukie · 2019-01-07T19:06:56+00:00

Your mediator should tell you what would happen if you both got lawyers and took it to court after spending $50k. And then give you a recommendation based on your personal and financial history. Mine had a computer program that broke down spousal and child support.

The hardest part comes when one of the parties think they're getting screwed but all my research on how the court system works told me the numbers were in the ball park.

ThrowawayAccount602 · 2019-01-07T18:40:22+00:00

If you stay scrupulously equal in the division of things and not get hung up on petty things (who gets the painting of the dog), it will go much faster and smoother. Once the other is convinced that you are neither a patsy nor an asshole, they will tend to be more cooperative. When you don't know what to say, appeal to the mediator to intervene.

ultraman81 · 2019-01-07T15:38:54+00:00

All the best my friend, may I ask who initiated the divorce and why?

twigman7 · 2019-01-07T19:02:24+00:00

Come in with two or more options Understand how they benefit the child and be prepared to list those , not just “its Fair”. Ask questions about her position Summarise her position and ask whether you heard correctly Be prepared to negotiate to a point Keep calm Ask for breaks if you need Use child focussed language

Title	Mediation today
Author	liquidtrend
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	January 7, 2019 3:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/adimfl/mediation_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mediation-today.819849 https://theredarchive.com/post/819849

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