| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Moving to texas to avoid alimonyAgreed -- AZ is likely your best bet. Check out BTL Family law in Scottsdale, AZ. I highly recommend Randi. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/22 02:50 PM |
| 5 | What’s the most ridiculous thing your ex spent on with the child support money you paid?A new BMW 3-series, purchased 2 months after I started paying CS. "Well...the kids...uh...needed a safe car to ride in!" I knew exactly what my $800/m was going towards.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/22 02:04 AM |
| 2 | If you get married you’re a fucking IDIOTI can see why you're having difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/22 08:13 PM |
| 1 | If you get married you’re a fucking IDIOTDude. You've been with 100+ women, and they ALL have had the same issues? What's the saying...? If everyone you meet today is an asshole, maybe you're the asshole? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/22 04:34 PM |
| 2 | So, I got banned from divorce sub.Join the club, bud. It's more fun over here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/22 01:36 AM |
| 1 | Fear of marriage destroying relationshipAnyone that says "yes" in this thread is absolutely wrong. Anyone that says "no"...same thing. You are the ONLY person in this world that can decide if you've made the right choice. And given that you are looking to Reddit for outside validation tells me you don't have a clue if you've made the right choice for yourself or not, so how would anyone else know? Remember that the "online horror stories" you've read do NOT dictate your relationships, marriage, or feelings about them. It's unfair to y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/21 12:51 AM |
| 2 | How do a find a good lawyerI recommend giving this guide a read: https://custodycorps.com/find-child-custody-attorney/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/21 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Split Custody - still pay child support?Look up the Child Support Calculator for your state. In most states, it's a very simple calculation, and most judges don't deviate much from what is recommended. Your attorney already likely did this and $475/m is what the output was. And yup, it's because you make over 2x more than she does. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/21 07:38 PM |
| -1 | Reminder: 50% of all Marriages in Divorce. 90% of all divorces/separation is initiated by the wife, 90% of custody is given to Mothers.I'm well aware. 10% Again, that's wrong. See my original point of fearmongering attorneys. ? Everything you said. I can literally feel the pessimism coming through my computer screen as you type. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/21 09:03 PM |
| 3 | How do you find the good attorney?I'm writing up an in-depth blog post about this right now. Here's the summary: Determine exactly what you want the outcome to be, use that as a north star to discuss with potential attorneys to see how they would strategize to accomplish that Write out a 1-page summary of what led you here, what has changed recently, etc. so the attorney has the basic details of your case. This is so you don't waste a ton of time during your consult just getting them up to speed or jumping all over the place Sea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/21 08:57 PM |
| 6 | Reminder: 50% of all Marriages in Divorce. 90% of all divorces/separation is initiated by the wife, 90% of custody is given to Mothers.As of 2020 census data, 39% of marriages end in divorce. It's the lowest rate since the 1970's. Source As of a 2015 study, 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Source The stat I mainly took issue with was the blatant inaccuracy of "90% of custody is given to mothers." That hasn't been accurate for decades and is a stat that continues to be used by fearmongering family law attorneys and people like OP. Truth is, it varies WIDELY state by state (40% of states have a presumption of joint custody… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/21 02:54 PM |
| 6 | Reminder: 50% of all Marriages in Divorce. 90% of all divorces/separation is initiated by the wife, 90% of custody is given to Mothers.How is ANY of this helpful for a man going through a divorce? Not only is MOST of what you posted factually incorrect, unsourced information, but you're projecting your own situation onto 500,000 men that get divorced each year across 50 states that all have different laws that vary by county, with every SINGLE ONE of them having different judges, attorneys, and circumstances. Not every man ends up miserable, alone, and resentful after their divorce. I'm sorry that happened to you, but a divorce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/21 02:34 AM |
| 1 | Marriage Counseling is a ScamThank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/21 04:42 PM |
| 3 | Marriage Counseling is a ScamMarriage counseling is a tool, it's not a cure. It can be MASSIVELY helpful for couples who have trouble communicating, and simply need a space to hold to feel trusted and heard. But it's up to both couples to do the work. A therapist isn't a magician. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/21 02:46 PM |
| 2 | fuck the lawyers, I'm going pro se - a primerSituations changed a LOT. Not married, so went from no parental rights, to joint, to full custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/21 09:31 PM |
| 1 | fuck the lawyers, I'm going pro se - a primerI signed up for that forum years ago -- never got the admin approval to join :( But good on you for "going back into the lion's den". So many men finalize their divorce then never want to talk about it, much less go back and help other men through it. I've done a little bit of that off and on over the years and was just recently thinking about compiling everything I learned into a book or course to help men who are just starting out on the divorce chapter of their life. I spent 10 years in court… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/21 06:23 PM |
| 2 | fuck the lawyers, I'm going pro se - a primerJust curious, are you like a divorce coach? Or just happen to know a bunch of dudes getting divorces? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/21 03:01 PM |
| 1 | My 500.00 an hour attorney got smoked by her 200.00 attorney!!It served me well. I've had full custody for 5 years now. I know that's not always what happens in divorce cases, but it can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 03:07 PM |
| 4 | My 500.00 an hour attorney got smoked by her 200.00 attorney!!My best attorney was the least expensive one I used over my 10-year battle. It's not what you know, it's not the cost of your attorney, it's what you can prove in court to be true that matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 01:10 AM |
| 2 | I’m a retired attorney & new Men’s Divorce Coach. What topics would you be willing to be willing to pay for information on to get you through your divorce process or wish you had help with when you were getting divorced? P.S. I’m not trying to sell anything.What do you think are the things men should know or do as soon as they know they are headed down the divorce path? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/20 03:09 AM |
| 3 | I’m a retired attorney & new Men’s Divorce Coach. What topics would you be willing to be willing to pay for information on to get you through your divorce process or wish you had help with when you were getting divorced? P.S. I’m not trying to sell anything.Aren't these all things you'd pay an attorney for anyways? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/20 03:07 AM |
| 1 | Wife told me she was a lesbian and here comes the divorceIt's great that you are creating and holding boundaries, for you and her. You'll get through this just fine if you continue to do that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/20 02:05 PM |
| 0 | Wife told me she was a lesbian and here comes the divorceDo you know his wife? Do you know she cheated? Do you know she even wants to contest the divorce? How do you know she'll be manipulative? Get out of here with this toxic rhetoric. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/20 02:36 PM |
| 6 | STBXW posting incorrect income information in declarationYou MUST subpoena, and do it quickly. That is part of the normal discovery process. Personally, I would submit a subpoena for her past 3 years of tax records, and subpoena her employer for her last 2 paystubs and salary information. Don't stall on this, subpeonas can take some time to draft, get served, and for them to comply. You might spend a few grand on subpeonas, but it'll save you tens of thousands of dollars if it lowers your CH Support obligation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/20 06:25 PM |
| 3 | *WARNING*. Guys... even if you have a good lawyer, pay attention to what they are doing with your case....Feel free to do this, but don't have any expectation that anything will happen. The BAR association exists to protect attorneys, not the clients. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/20 05:31 PM |
| 1 | I Feel Like I'm Choosing Between My Kids and a CarYou can't control the situation, so don't try to. That's how men lose their minds during battle. Focus on the things you can control - your finances, choosing the proper attorney, building your case, and devote 110% to that. Ignore the rest as much as you can. I know you also don't need an added expense right now, but therapy is very helpful. Use something like BetterHelp, it's less expensive and you can do it from him. Therapy is cheap insurance from going absolutely insane during cases like th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/20 06:31 PM |
| 4 | I Feel Like I'm Choosing Between My Kids and a CarFinance your way out of it. - If your credit is still good, pull out 1-2 0% APR promo offer credit cards for 12-18 month terms. - Finance your vehicle if you can get an APR below 5%, and do NOT use this as an excuse to get something nicer than you would have paying cash. Only do this if you absolutely must have a vehicle right now. Otherwise, go without. You don't want a $6k or a $3k decision to be the determining factor of what your relationship is like for your kids. Relocation cases tend to b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/20 12:57 PM |
| 2 | Child support estimateIt's more than just income. The courts will factor in: - Your income (& your ability to make more) - Her income (& her ability to make more) - Number of children she has (and supports) - Number of children you have (and supports) - Healthcare costs for the child - Childcare costs - Parenting Time / Visitation And all of that will give them a guideline to assign an amount to you. Some states allow for deviations from that amount, others do not. It's really just a calculation, but there's a lot of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/20 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Child support estimateDon't ask this question. It varies greatly by state and personal situation and ranges someone could pay is anywhere from $0 to thousands per child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/20 05:42 PM |
| 6 | I'm moving on"Well over 6k." What do you mean by this? It sounds like you need to double down, get a better lawyer to represent you and show the court you aren't the person your wife is making you out to be. It can be done. Difficult yes, but you will regret just walking away. It's easy to rationalize that decision. I was there, walked away, and spent 4x as much trying to get back into my child's life. Take it from me. Do what you can to stay in the fight. 100% of this is temporary. Don't let a short-sighted… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/20 07:59 PM |
| 1 | Child Custody after DivorceAh ok--that makes way more sense. I interpreted it as "force the judge to order 50/50" which certainly does not happen. I agree with what you said. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/20 02:27 PM |
| 1 | Child Custody after DivorceMAKE a judge order it? Do you understand basic civil procedure? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/20 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Child Custody after DivorceIt largely depends on the laws of your state. This and this can give you an idea for a starting point. But also throw in these variables for consideration: What you want out of this What your wife wants out of this Attorney strategies and tactics The Judge Details of your case The Best Interests of the Children So, there's no telling what you will end up, all you can do is provide the best possible case as to why 50/50 is in your children's best interests. That is the ONLY thing that is in your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/20 02:46 AM |
| 1 | Child Custody after DivorceThis is utterly wrong. Only 19 of 50 states will default to 50/50 as a presumption, but it does not mean it'll end up being 50/50. So, that leaves 31 states where the father can expect 49% or less time with their children as the default arrangement. 50/50 is far from the norm. If you had kids, why wouldn't you divorce if you thought 50/50 was the default. What would you be fighting for? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/20 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Men post-divorce are 8.3x more likely to commit suicide, so I created a course to help combat thatThank you, it's my pleasure to do this, honestly. It's a form of therapy for me. Dark thoughts are perfectly normal, and when you allow yourself to sit with them and feel the emotions coming up, it is healthy and allows you to process them. Ignoring them is when it becomes dangerous (which is what most people do and subject themselves to a life of depression and anxiety). | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/20 04:19 PM |
| 1 | Men post-divorce are 8.3x more likely to commit suicide, so I created a course to help combat thatWow -- I somehow didn't even catch that. I'll have to do some digging and see if there is a more recent study. I'm scared to see how much worse it has gotten. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/20 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Men post-divorce are 8.3x more likely to commit suicide, so I created a course to help combat thatGood bot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/20 09:43 PM |
| 3 | Men post-divorce are 8.3x more likely to commit suicide, so I created a course to help combat thatThank you, I hope so too! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/20 09:43 PM |
| 3 | Alimony with jointly owned businessWhy would it be anything other than what is on your paychecks? Assuming you are structured like an S Corp. If you're an LLC or sole proprietorship, your income will probably be the full $18k/m, minus her $750. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/20 02:01 AM |
| 1 | Joe Rogan and Bill Maher discuss divorce stories and the dangers of marriage (1/17/20)Hold on, unless you are going to be stuck at earning a low wage the rest of your life, $100k can be made up, and then some. Not easily, mind you, but it's possible. Low six-figures is hardly intergenerational wealth or status changing unless you're coming from poverty-level finances. I spent about $110k over 10 years for custody of my daughter. I went from having a ton of debt and negative net worth to being debt-free with a six-figure net worth only after 4 years of being done with court. You c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/20 05:19 PM |
| 1 | How I found the perfect divorce attorney, and never lost in court again.The short answer: no. You can only get an attorney provided to you in court if it's for a criminal matter, which this is not (even if what they are doing to you feels like it). It's rare to get the other party to pay for attorneys fees, and in most cases, they are ordered to pay you back, not pay your up front costs. You really only have two options: 1) Represent yourself. 2) Find a local attorney that offers low-cost legal services, they are common. I would search National Family Solutions for … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/20 07:10 PM |
| 0 | How I found the perfect divorce attorney, and never lost in court again.It doesn't matter. Personal preference, if anything. It shouldn't be a factor when you are deciding though, although (stereo-typically) women do tend to be more compassionate (which can help them represent you) versus many male attorneys being driven by ego (which can hurt you). | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/20 03:32 AM |
| 2 | PSA: If you are spending Christmas without your kids, here's how to make things easier.Parental alienation is a complex subject, but the reality is that you can't stop your ex from doing it. So focus on what you can control. Exercise the parenting time you do have. Be present when they are around. Listen to them. Don't talk about their mom. SHOW them how great of a person and father you are. Eventually, whatever your ex tells them will fall on deaf ears. They'll know who you are, and eventually figure out what your ex is doing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/19 02:23 PM |
| 1 | Paving my own way after 10 years in divorce courtI still have a lot to learn about MGOTW, but now that I read Wikipedia on what the actual purpose of MGTOW is (I just thought it was like another group like the Art of Manliness or Alphabet of Manliness), I think my lessons learned even moreso applies to men fighting against the double standards of gender roles and bias against men in family courts. I MGTOW'd my way through all this, so that I even had the opportunity to be the man and father I wanted to be, instead of allowing lawyers and Judge… | /r/MGTOW | 08/10/19 06:37 PM |
| -1 | Paving my own way after 10 years in divorce courtTo be clear, the person I "divorced" I was not married to. Even though she was never more than a girlfriend, nearly the exact same legal, personal and emotional troubles unfolded for me. My now-wife and I met when my daughter was 2, and when all of my court issues really began. She was an amazing role model and mom to my daughter, supported me when I was broke and beaten down and is a large part of the reason why I made it out of the other end of all this. We've been together for just over 10 ye… | /r/MGTOW | 08/10/19 06:00 PM |
| 5 | Wife convinced me to refi so she could get half the houseCertainly a question for a knowledgable attorney in that area. Not a lawyer, but I think there are two things going against you here: You can't prove your wife manipulated you into refinancing the home. It's refinanced and done, the house is legally in both of your names, no undoing that. It sounds like a he said she said argument. Either way, is it worth fighting for? That's up to you. When I lived in Arizona and my wife and I signed our post-nup, (yes, post, not pre), we knew AZ had strong com… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/19 02:04 AM |
| 3 | Sharing my lessons learned through 10 years of family courtAh shucks, thank you for the kind words. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/19 01:21 AM |
| 3 | Sharing my lessons learned through 10 years of family courtThank you sir! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/19 11:41 PM |
| 5 | Sharing my lessons learned through 10 years of family courtYou're welcome, I hope so too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/19 10:43 PM |
| 4 | Sharing my lessons learned through 10 years of family courtIn all honesty, it was really difficult to come back to all this and write about it. You just want to forget you ever had to experience something like this. But, it's been therapeutic writing about it and knowing that doing this kind of work might help others. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/19 10:36 PM |
| 3 | Divorce Support Group for menAre there any post-divorce groups for men that have any sort of structure or accountability at its core? I'm not saying this group is, but literally every group I've come across is simply a place for men to vent, women bash and scream about mens rights--all things that are the complete opposite of what I think would be actually helpful in recovery. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/19 01:04 AM |
| 3 | [NY] How did your ex’s false claims work out in court?I'm not exaggerating when I say my ex made completely false or misleading claims 98% of the time through our 10-years in family court. Her and Trump would be best friends. In every court case the Judge and evaluators saw right through it, and as she continued to get caught in more lies, she became less credible. I simply continued to tell the truth, even if it didn't always paint me in the best picture. I never lost in court, and I think this is a major reason why. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/19 08:06 PM |
| 3 | Help with divorceSounds like it would be a no-contest divorce then. I'd advise consulting with a few attorneys (ones that offer free or low-cost consultations), to get their input. But, you can probably file on your own since there isn't any assets or children. You can Google "no contest divorce filing California" and find websites that will walk you through the process, or call the County Clerk that handles family course cases. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/19 07:10 PM |
| 1 | Discussion: NCP's who pay child support, what was your first step after you were served?Man, can't believe there isn't more feedback about this. Even if you want to vent, go for it, just try to answer a couple of the questions at least... | /r/MensRights | 17/04/14 06:17 AM |
| 1 | Discussion: NCP's who pay child support, what was your first step after you were served?Agree 100%. The guide would be legal information, not advice. They should take the advice, apply it to their own situation and seek a consultation, and I would hope with the guide being comprehensive enough that they would feel comfortable enough to represent themselves. Child support for 99% of NCP's is fairly cut and dry. It's just a numbers game and not much else (as you know). It shouldn't require a huge retainer, massive anxiety and hundreds of hours of research just to have a 360-degree vi… | /r/MensRights | 15/04/14 06:21 AM |
| 3 | Tomorrow I go to jail for child support.Please keep us updated on your status when you get out and what exactly the terms and sentence were. I would love to interview you if you're up for it for a new website I'm launching in a couple of months directly shining light on this very issue. God speed to you and I've very, very sorry you are going through this. Just remember, your kid(s) still love you and eventually they will know exactly what their dad went through to be apart of their life. | /r/MensRights | 19/12/13 07:09 AM |
| 1 | Child Support Laws & Amounts in Different Countries - seeking info.None of the above. Strictly doing research. You're implying that someone would only want to know the answer to this question if they were attempting to dodge child support by fleeing the country, which I am not. I simply want to know, at a 30,000 foot level, how child support is handled around the world. Not irrelevant at all. | /r/MensRights | 25/08/13 06:01 PM |
| 2 | Why judges think women are better parentsTouche. Has to be a way to change it... | /r/MensRights | 17/05/13 04:09 PM |
| 47 | Why judges think women are better parentsThe only discussion in this thread should be: what can we do to push for a repeal of this statue? | /r/MensRights | 17/05/13 04:00 AM |
| 1 | I'll be on HuffPost Live today, 4/24 at 6:30 PM PST speaking about 'oops babies', NCP and family law issues. Join me!Please upvote this comment for visibility. Thanks! | /r/MensRights | 24/04/13 07:32 PM |
| 3 | I'll be on HuffPost Live today, 4/24 at 6:30 PM PST speaking about 'oops babies', NCP and family law issues. Join me!UPDATE: Time change to 6 PM PST / 8 PM EST! | /r/MensRights | 24/04/13 07:16 PM |
| 1 | I'll be on HuffPost Live today, 4/24 at 6:30 PM PST speaking about 'oops babies', NCP and family law issues. Join me!Unless it's a trap, I don't think so. Speaking to the producers and the host so far has been great. | /r/MensRights | 24/04/13 05:56 AM |
| 15 | support criminalization of custodial parents whom do not honor custody and visitation guidelines set in Family Court. | We the People: Your Voice in Our GovernmentThis is a good idea and all but this is horribly written and will not receive the 100,000 signatures it needs to mandate the White House's recognition. Beyond the obvious, realize that child support and child custody is enforced at the state level, not federal. There are guidelines the federal government "recommends" but it is up to each state to write and enforce their own laws. Some states, Arizona, for example, no longer have custodial and non-custodial parents, rather have parents exercising… | /r/MensRights | 16/04/13 07:15 PM |
| 2 | Girlfriend stopped taking the pill without telling me, and is now pregnant. Says she wants to keep it. I'm extremely scared.Guy that has been in the same situation here. Prepare to begin paying child support within 6 months after the child has been born. Bottom line, if she files, you will pay. At this point, do not assume the role of the Dad and obtain proper legal advice to figure out your state's process for paternity testing. You won't be given a second chance to do this down the line. You may think you don't want to be the father, but if the child is biologically years and you decide not to be around, you will s… | /r/MensRights | 17/02/13 07:29 PM |
| 0 | Man pokes holes in condom, man is charged with sexual assault; woman does effectively the same (takes sperm from used condom), man pays child supportWTF is SRS? | /r/MensRights | 04/01/13 07:20 AM |
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