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Boomer70770 Archive

View 7 posts and 72 comments by Boomer70770 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

Can verify. My life changed completely when I realized I was the only one who could change this. It took me a while and therapy to get my confidence back, but boy did it turn the tide. Settle for nothing less than half. It's your right as a father and anyone who says otherwise is either an enemy or not worth your time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 12:41 AM
5

Every time you ask, you give up so much. Be assertive. "No problem." And move on with the best life you could possibly live without her. Take no prisoners.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 02:17 AM
1

You have absolutely no choice but to get a lawyer. You go in without one makes you instantly look like a shitheel to anyone deciding your case. Not a good look.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:16 PM
1

Same. Went through 3 marriage counselors. The last one gave me a full refund after one 2 hour intro session and said she couldn't help.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:10 PM
6

Listen to this comment as it's absolute truth.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:04 PM
1

Exactly. Counselor: Be vulnerable to each other, go ahead. Me to her: I've never felt so distant from you before. The distance keeps growing no matter what I do and that terrifies me. Counselor:. Good, now you. Her to me:. I don't like it when I'm strict with our (two year old) son and you disagree. Counselor:. .......... Good.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:02 PM
1

She would cry whenever the focus was issues she was at fault for or didn't want to discuss. She would do this until the counselor was willing to trade off something or would stop to validate her feelings, invalidating mine. She could go in with nonsense, garner sympathy with her hysterics while I'm sitting scratching my head, and again walk looking like the victim. At one point, they asked me to leave the room because she just "couldn't speak openly with me there."
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 04:00 PM
1

No one is going to help you but you. "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." -- From the Serenity Prayer without the religion conotation
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 10:03 PM
15

I can't speak for you or OP. What I can suggest is that we embrace what's useful and ignore what's useless.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 09:57 PM
2

Careful with couples counseling. Made a bad situation much worse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 08:46 PM
21

There was a post a few weeks where a woman was asking how to "protect herself" with a PFA, thought she admitted the STBX did nothing wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 07:05 PM
1

Keeping things simple as possible to maintain my happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 07:04 PM
1

That makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 06:08 PM
6

I'm happy walking my dog.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:35 AM
5

I hear you and agree. I felt "incomplete" until I really thought about the pro's and con's.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 11:28 PM
2

Hindsight is always 20/20, but God damn if we didn't make dumb decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 04:19 AM
1

Thanks, sincerely. They thrive off this; nothing brings them closer than having a common enemy, so they won't stop. The lengths they go through and the pettiness are astounding, but I've leaned an invaluable lesson throughout this never ending ordeal... I'm the only one responsible for my own happiness and I'm the only one whose going to do anything about it. For so long I was miserable because I felt like that's what was expected of me. That's what they wanted. I'm a great guy. I try my best an…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 04:30 PM
2

Yes. They think I don't know.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 09:45 AM
2

Same situation. I keep taking out personal loans to pay my attorney. Both sides of the family pay for hers.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 10:30 PM
1

It makes no difference where the money came from to pay the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 05:46 PM
6

Get everything in writing if you're both good with it and take it to an attorney, one attorney representing both of you. I believe they'll send to a judge who will "authorize" it, or whatever. If you pull that off, count your fucking blessings. Strive for compromise. The second either of you isn't, it'll turn into a super-expensive shit show.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 01:19 AM
1

Stay and work it out. Make a date night and get a sitter. Go out to a nice place to eat. Bring it up at dinner as there should be little distractions and a nice mood. Don't justify or rationalize to her; "Sweetheart, I want you to know I'm listening to you right now, you have my full attention, OK?" "I don't want you to feel this way and I want to help you, but that time I need for myself." Don't back down, but don't be a dick. Otherwise you'll be labeled by family and friends the asshole who ab…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 01:04 AM
1

The old trap of "they don't spend time with the kids" but the STBX also doesn't allow you anytime so they can keep trashing you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 09:16 PM
5

"You can't live without me." How she became so delusional, I don't know, but I couldn't pull that ripcord fast enough.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 11:24 PM
6

Why do you need another woman right now?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 05:02 AM
1

I'm in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:57 PM
1

My attorney is wrong?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 03:56 PM
1

Yes. I'm supposed to see my child every week. It's been 5 months and she refuses.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 02:51 AM
1

I'm assuming my attorney knows and am following what they're telling me I need to do. Research? Better prepared? Everything in the article you posted I've done. Now I'm going to court.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:41 PM
1

Over a year ago.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:32 PM
6

Don't cheap out on a lawyer. The less expensive ones will waste a lot more of your money.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 08:37 PM
12

The hardest part is convincing yourself that someone you once cherished is now your enemy. These are the tough parts of being a man you don't read about. You get it done. No more. No less.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:57 AM
19

Yeah, I worked 40 hours a week. You dropped the kids of and napped till it was pickup time. Then called and asked me to pickup dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:56 AM
3

Stop seeking her validation. ... and get a good attorney and tell them you want to go right to court. Don't waste time (and so much money!) having the attorneys go back and forth with offers and counter-offers. Other than you, everyone's incentive is to drag this out. Get a court date. Don't let up till you get a court date. If she makes an offer you want to accept before then, you can have your attorney send it to the judge to be signed and not have to go (saving you serious $). Otherwise, she'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 07:10 PM
1

Appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 07:05 PM
1

Lucky guy, happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:52 PM
1

She wouldn't be able to go on your insurance. If one of you dies without a will, the assets would go to the closest family member. Can't think of much else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:51 PM
2

It's no better or worse to be single, just different. If you find a partner, not just a woman, but a teammate who insists on striving for the two of you to be equals in the relationship, to each better the other, even then I'd say no. The fact is, if things go sour, you can watch what you worked for over the past X decades disappear into the hands of the courts, attorneys, etc. The trajectory your life was on is suddenly in disarray. You go from having a savings and retirement to living paycheck…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 04:47 PM
1

opened the envelope and then got pissy about it....never made sense to me. Right? It's great for the both of us??!? Why are you so mad?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:32 PM
8

I provide finances. What are you providing?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:31 PM
1

Don't. I did last year. I now have a 5 year loan with the IRS.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 01:00 AM
1

Prepare to be ostracized.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 04:07 PM
2

Schedule one session with a therapist that lists divorcees as a specialty. They are a wealth of info you can't get anywhere else (i.e., which lawyers are good). I went through 3 attorneys before he finally told, "yeah, that's not how it's supposed to work. They're terrible."
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 04:54 PM
9

I fucked up when I said, "it's cool if we do t share the responsibilities. I'll pick up the slack." You're a partner. You're NOT a provider.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 12:38 AM
2

Best way I've found is to get recommendations from a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 08:49 AM
3

Piece of advice given to me... When you divorce, you're basically saying, "we can't come to an agreement and need legal intervention". When you have to present yourself in front of that person you've never met but is going to judge you and govern what you do for a very long time... I'd rather look like a man that's done everything than a man that's given up. You're better than this man.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:16 AM
5

Murphy's Law. Be pro-active. Lead the situation. If you're reactive, you'll always be on the wrong foot. I'm still learning this myself. It's painful, but it strengthens your resolve. You can only play the fool so many times before you get pissed off. How many times is up to you. Get pissed off.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 09:56 PM
4

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're literally the only one who can change things to make your life better. Sober up, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, and get this shit done. You wanna be here again Christmas 2023?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 09:31 PM
1

STBX: You're not going to see them, just let it go. Me: I'm their father. I'm not letting anything go anymore. Too long I backed down. Let things go. Three years of legal nothing burgers. I bought a duplex before we were married. I'm the only one in my family who owns a home. The duplex was so family would always have a place to live, a place for the no retirement or savings mother's to retire to. I was "removed" from the family side and now live in the rental side. My mother in law was evicted …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 04:00 PM
5

Rips your heart apart. You'll be scarred, no doubt. You have one target; your kids. You have a smile on your face every time your kids look at you. Make 2022 the best Christmas they remember. That's your goal. Someone say's something "sly" to you, ignore it. They don't exist anymore. They didn't exist in your marriage. All of a sudden, they want to do nothing more than to pass judgement. Give them nothing. You give 100% to your kids at Christmas and nothing else. No one, and i mean NO ONE, can f…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 11:55 PM
3

Awesome. The end of the day, make it impossible for them to disprove your character. Plus giving back to the community. When life give you lemons....
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 11:51 PM
4

You're not alone. I won't be there to pat you on the shoulder, but I can assure you. You're not alone in the way you feel. It's how we react to it that defines us, make "us" vs "them". Be stoic.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 11:49 PM
6

You're not ready if you have to ask this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 12:15 AM
6

OP sounds like they're trying to solicit info on fucking up their husbands universe.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:24 PM
5

Best practice: Rule 1:. Both parties should equally suffer and strive towards the same goal and share the successes and failures equally.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 12:45 AM
1

There's a song just like that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkGQSccXeyo
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 05:11 PM
3

This. Jesus this. Get an annulment. Now! Seriously, pick up the phone now and get it done. I got one with 13 months of marriage. Next thing the mother-in-law will be moving in to comfort her daughter, and you won't be able to do anything about it. Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 04:30 PM
2

Take that fear, that doubt, that dread and focus all of it into getting out of this with EVERYTHING. If she still doesn't know you know... do everything behind the scenes... don't let on you know... Get a therapist - this is not a person to cry to but a person who will tell you the good and bad attorneys in your area, what the judges are like, what to actually expect, etc. Get a lawyer and tell them you want to go directly to court. You'll pay a chunk for a retainer, but it's an investment that'…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 04:28 PM
7

I can't disagree. I say this wholeheartedly, as my tax bracket shifted overnight, I had to take a 60 month loan from the govt. to pay my taxes versus getting a few hundred bucks. Doing so incurred a $250 service fee. Payments online? We'll switch your plan for $10. Paperless billing? No problem with a $10 plan adjustment. Is this OK? I've never been on this end, but god damn uncle Sam fucks you 6 ways to Sunday.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 02:37 AM
18

Listen. Figure out what exactly what you want. Be greedy. Remove all emotions. Assume they're doing the same. This is now a business transaction. Be Stoic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 02:31 AM
8

You can get most things without marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 10:14 PM
2

Thanks. Going to collect myself and make a post of what NOT to do. If anything, this /r is about sharing your experience so others can avoid it, right?
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 03:58 AM
10

I'm happy with my dog.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 06:46 PM
3

"Divorce is a street fight." What a great line.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 06:06 PM
4

Tell the attorney you hire you want to go right to court. It's more expensive in the short run but much cheaper in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 06:05 PM
14

Played nice for two years and I'm exponentially worse off for it
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:23 PM
3

I'm upset I can't spend my time being 100% a family, but if there's no income from work... there are much bigger problems to address. Can Giselle support the family on her income alone so Tom doesn't have to be 100% football? Because that's what it'll take. Is she willing to set her standard of living lower in order to be more of a family?
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 07:45 PM
3

Stop. Take a breathe. Relax. Now go from your feet to your head and ensure you are not tensed up. Listen. You got burned. You don't deserve it. It's not your fault. You did your best. It takes two in a relationship. Reasons don't matter. It's done. Start rebuilding now. Reminiscing in the aftermath only wastes time and energy, your most precious resources right now. Be stoic in her presence. Calm, reserved, always look like you have a plan, even if that plan is to do nothing and wait. DO NOT FOL…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 07:37 PM
2

He's considering what's best for his children. Did you read the few sentence he wrote? He doesn't know what waging full on war with his ex will do to his kids. It's already destroying them, no end in sight, and he's just supposed to persist because why? Because Reddit's knee-jerk reaction, is to say "Fuck you, bad dad!" "Whatever it takes" isn't about waging wars and constant fighting. Your ex maybe thinks you're an asshat and she needs to do "whatever it takes" to keep you from your kids. "What…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 05:12 PM
2

I really, really needed to hear this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 04:43 PM
2

Get. Out. It will get exponentially worse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 08:05 PM
2

💯
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 07:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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