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Brief_Recognition509 Archive

View 10 posts and 35 comments by Brief_Recognition509 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I'll add, Dr. Ramani on youtube is a GREAT source of information on NPD. I know you're not together, but coparenting is even tougher sometimes. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:34 PM
4

Sorry man. This sucks. The way you're feeling is 100% justified. If you have a lawyer, I'd ask what your options are. You can't control her, but if it gets you out of alimony, that's a big win. It might need to wait until they sign the lease so that you have a paper trail of shared expenses etc. BUT let's move on to the important thing: your 9yo son. He absolutely needs you to be rock solid. This does not mean unphased and unfeeling. Be consistent. Be caring. Listen to him when he talks. Hug tha…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:26 PM
1

💯 I'm not thinking fair in terms of her/me. I mean to say, it isn't fair to myself to continue caring for a dog I never wanted and honestly causes frustration, stress, and limits my life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 10:57 PM
1

I also feel terrible having the dog go back to the shelter. It isn't fair to dog, but keeping him isn't fair to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:00 PM
1

The number of times I've eaten what I want without remorse! Fuck yes
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:55 PM
1

Thanks. I want to correct the last phrase, "to have HER dog". I planned on telling her she has a month to find him a home before I bring him back to the shelter. I just KNOW she is going to twist it to the kids, Dad is getting rid of the dog....
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:20 PM
1

I agree about a judge, this is mediation. So...its a lawyer and us in a room paid by the hour. Even if I get half of what I ask for, I'll be winning.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:37 PM
1

I look forward to my first solo vacation...not sure when, but it's happening.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 11:48 AM
2

It's done. No one erupted. There are tears and sadness all around. The 12yo wants to skip school. The 14yo had a feeling. We'll see how the weekend goes.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:29 PM
2

I have something scheduled tomorrow evening...I worry I should cancel it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 07:07 PM
3

I came to check in and I didn't expect to be crying! Guys you're awesome. We're telling kids tomorrow and I'm going to be rereading all of these comments.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:23 PM
5

My last straw wasn't the first affair, or the second, or the ly8ng about each affairs to couple's therapists, or the passing out/falling over drunkenness, or even the crazy-making yelling/throwing things about ridiculous things out of nowhere. There was a day that she was bringing up a happy ending massage from 14 yrs ago like it was yesterday (again) and she admitted that she never got over it and never will. The 14years of penance (what I thought was penance) flooded me. Why was I busting my a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:07 AM
3

I'm going tonsay everything above is spot on! I was (am) married to a similar situation. She was never happy or satisfied. Everything was someone else's fault. Couldn't even take ownership of her affairs. I screwed up early on and it was held over my head, well...still is. She's controlling and verbally abusive. I have adapted/conformed my behavior and expectations, including work, to cause less strife in the house. The day I decided that divorce was the only solution, I felt a weight lift from …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 08:21 PM
6

I'm nearing that. 45 and 18 years of marriage. Looking forward to it being over. Congrats on the next chapter. You are the sole author now!
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:32 PM
3

I have a countdown widget on my phone's home screen! Haha. If it isnt out, it's getting thrown out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 12:40 AM
3

You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:00 PM
5

There is a garage...she is talking of hiring movers. I dont want new boy to even be on my property. What if he 'accidentally gets hurt and sues? Not to mention my children seeing him in our house. Nope! Not cool
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:20 PM
2

I'll get there too. I'll log on here and there to download things. 15 years of kids is a lot to do at once. You got this! We got this!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:02 PM
0

We have kids... I'm not losing all those pictures past and future.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 01:30 PM
3

I'm taking a break. Thanks...
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 12:08 PM
3

Kids...I honestly don't care, it gives me another night to put them to bed. I dont drive wedges, but I dont remove them either.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:34 PM
3

Thanks. Butnthenissue is being saddled with caring for a dog i didnt want and only agreed to after she threw a tantrum and promised she would care for it. I appreciate her being out of the house otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:40 PM
7

The real annoyance (besides not wanting the dog) is that she's out late. Past when I go to bed. I'm sleeping in guest room and dogs stay in primary bedroom. The older dog is fine but the younger one whines because he's used to her being there. So I end up staying up later than I want and still put the dog in the crate and hear whining until she gets home. Plus the kids are sleeping.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:18 PM
3

I dont think she would care about leaving the kids home...
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 06:52 PM
2

She agrees to moving into guest bedroom before moving out. Taking every small win I can get before the real fight begins. It's a marathon guys!
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 01:10 PM
2

I can't imagine my STBXW not keeping it. If only to spite me
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 07:23 PM
2

Wife can be high conflict and I don't need to add that stress until I'm clear on a path amd a plan. Neither is likely to move out until it is final either.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 04:49 PM
1

Been there. Still there (for now). I'll encourage you to own what you can, but don't let it get inside your head. Regulated people can move past those hurts. Especially when they've been apologized to and change has occurred. Manipulators use those past hurts to keep us 'in line'.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:00 PM
1

Went to therapy two different times. Both times she was having an affair (I had an idea but was consistently told I was making things up).
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 05:26 PM
2

I'll look to assume (fha loan so probably can) but will still need to do a home equity loan to get to the final buyout number. Depending on rate I may split the difference with retirement accts. Good luck to you! If you need to vent hmu
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:29 PM
1

I get that. Where we are, the market is tight. I want my kids to maintain their schools and friends. That is worth my working until I keel over if necessary. I can always sell it when they graduate. Money can be made and saved. My kids get one childhood. Priorities
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:08 AM
1

Teacher pension so the retirement acct is separate
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:33 PM
2

I'm going for primary parent and keep house for the kids. To finish school. Would rather not lose my retirement accounts, but the pension makes it doable and I have time to make up the difference if I'm not going to be making up for overspending wife. All good info (some I have seen in other spots as well). If kids weren't in HS/MS and doing well, I'd consider moving.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:32 PM
1

Not filed or officially declared that divorce is a definite. She knows I called an attorney though. I told her yesterday that I didn't want a gift. She understood if not a little disappointed. I think it depends on how rocky things seem for you. Maybe some flowers and be willing to accept her view of you as less-than for that day. This is a tough one.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 10:50 PM
1

Emotions are a reaction to a stimulus. They don't need to be acted upon. The book "The Language of Letting Go" is a good daily reader (some references to god/higher power in case that's an issue). If you engage with her like an upset child, it will make more sense of how to deal with her button-pushing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 11:29 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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