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BrownEyedGringa Archive

View 6 posts and 511 comments by BrownEyedGringa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yeah, this is kind of a societal way highly desirable men are kept in check. Caleb was like fuck that and just decided to get his dick as wet as possible with as many different women and not expect repurcussions
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:39 PM
0

LMAO not you saying Caleb actually wanted to consider a relationship with each of these women before he pumped and dumped them. I think it's clear to everyone what Caleb wanted, just by the sheer number of women he did this to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:38 PM
1

Nobody should ghost. I understand wanting to be ghosted if you have a fear of rejection but you shouldn't ghost other people, especially after having sex with them. I've never ghosted a man I've met in person. I thought I got ghosted once, but he just took a while to get up the courage to reject me, which I appreciate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:36 PM
1

Why shouldn't he publicly shamed? It shows he's an incredibly selfish person who lied to and used 100s of humans. It shows terrible character. Now, I don't think someone should contact his employer personally because that is INSANE. But if it happens to reach the employer, I feel that's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 06:12 PM
1

Yeah I don't agree with you. I have compassion though, even for stupid people
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 06:07 PM
1

Yes. That's why Caleb needed to be deceptive to get "better" and "more" sex. There are casual guys who are honest about what they want. That's a more ethical way to do things, but of course, it comes at a cost to yourself. Caleb is selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 06:04 PM
1

It's just a matter of who to blame: the perpetrator or the victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 06:00 PM
2

They are. It's basic white women, and they're probably not that well-educated and/or informed. A South Asian woman made a tiktok about how being ethnic saves us from being targeted by people like Caleb, but also benefits us because South Asian women tend to know their worth (higher earning, highly educated, etc). I'm sure other non-white women and higher educated women feel a similar way. But I think we shouldn't blame the women too much for being "silly" enough to believe all of that. The focus…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 03:20 AM
5

If you believe the women on tiktok it was much more than that. He told them that they were really special and that he hadn't felt like that about anyone in a while, stuff like that. And then manipulated them with sadboi/lonelyboi shit. It was more like love-bombing (that is, if you believe the women).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 10:00 PM
12

Ugh, I hate that I found this thread late because the WEC saga is so fun. Here's what Caleb did wrong: He flew too close to the sun. That's literally it. I agree he has an above average SMV. I agree that he's hotter than most of the women he ghosted. But not everyone can get away with everything. If he had 3-4 women in rotation + some extra ONS like what most men of his caliber do to get casual sex, he would have been fine. It's the fact that he repeatedly and consciously slept with perhaps 100s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 08:05 PM
-1

Caleb swipes right on basic artsy white girls. I've seen the type on TikTok. There were a number of ethnic women who made videos in response saying they would not have been swiped right by Caleb. I also don't believe he would have swiped right on me (South Asian).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 07:57 PM
1

Have been skinny all my life with a BMI of 18.5-20.5. Always had a good, well-proportioned body. However, I used to wear baggy clothes up until first year of college. When I started dressing better, wearing makeup, and filled out a bit in my mid-20s (boobs and butt) is when I noticed guys actually perceiving me. I was a virgin till I was 25 but that's more related to self-esteem issues (yes, attractive people can be sad). I'm lifting more now and haven't noticed much of a change in the attention…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 09:34 AM
5

As someone who starves when stressed this is the answer
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 08:54 PM
2

Nah, I don't mess with guys like that anymore but for someone like me, who was always "uncool" I think it was a way to feel like I was cool. In the future, I think I'd only date someone who was into weed and maybe shrooms occasionally. Coke dick is not fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 07:27 PM
5

As someone who was a virgin till 25, this cut deep, man. I do tell guys I was religious when it comes up, which is true, but only I know the whole truth. The thing is, I always had friends, but we were all pretty weird in our own ways. I honestly probably was friends with more people than some of the "popular" kids, but definitely not regarded as highly. I did smoke pot at 16 and tried an edible at 21 (alone lol), so there's that. Definitely didn't feel like I fit in though and the only guys pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 01:24 AM
5

Lmao it was the overly rehearsed kino touching that proved to me he definitely wasn’t a player
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 09:24 AM
5

Yeah i know a lot of men have this sentiment. It does not logically make sense when you break it down, but I don’t want to get too into that. Bottom line is that if you’re just sexually exclusive, you can walk away at any time if the sex is bad. Don’t have to write off all women. I agree that sexual compatibility is important but I’d rather explore that in a monogamous setting before becoming official. Tbh, I think assessing sexual compatibility is even more important for women who rarely orgasm…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 09:12 AM
36

I dated someone I think might have been Red Pilled. He was quite handsome actually, but short (my type lol). I only mention it because I think there may have been some insecurity there that led him to become Red Pilled. He was the first guy I dated who actually was actively trying to evaluate me on a date. I thought it was cool to be honest. I've read a lot of Red Pill stuff and also Mark Manson's Models, which specifically goes into this idea of seeing if you even like the woman rather than get…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 08:01 PM
3

oh boy this sounds like the guy I'm currently head over heels for. He has the long dark hair and mischievous smile. Only 5'8''
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 05:42 PM
0

No, actually. His hair is beautiful as always. He just looked a lot more gaunt/sunken in, with more wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. I'm worried it could have also been related to his drug use, which can be excessive at times. It's sad because he was genuinely such a beautiful man when I met him at 25. He's like a shell of his former self now only a couple years later
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:44 AM
1

Yeah I guess so lol. I started dating at 25 so I'm still excited and energized about dating, then I meet all these jaded guys and it makes me sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:39 AM
1

Maybe. I still look pretty much the same as I did at 22, but that could be my ethnic genes. But of course the idea that there's no wall for men is absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:36 AM
3

So true! Looks like great minds think alike :) Guys over like 25-26 definitely seem to have lost some of their youthful carefree energy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:29 AM
2

Yeah I dated a half-Asian dude who was 28 but looked younger. My friend is married to a 43 year old Indian man who looks 30. It's incredible. Definitely will look into Asian/Latino/Indian men going forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:25 AM
3

LOL right? Yeah, I mean the last guy I dated was 24, and it just felt right even with the 3 year difference. I still looked younger than him but he was 6'3'' so that didn't help. I'm completely honest about liking younger guys, especially since so many of them don't take care of themselves. I wish more women would be honest too. It seems like they think older guys are better because society tells them they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:23 AM
2

Saw a friend I had a fling with a couple years ago. We kept in touch and he wanted to see me the other weekend. Normally I'd say no, but I was just feeling lonely and I know he's always fun. Damn. He looked OLD as hell. Only 28 years old. Skinny too. It's too bad I didn't date men at their prime (like 21-25). Still had a good time. Just shocked at the change. I asked him if he was depressed, but he's just very much in denial when it comes to those topics. I'm 27 now, and it's hard to find guys w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:16 AM
2

I feel like I am being punished for doing the right thing It's easy to think that way, I get it. I'm not sure what to tell you. I think if I were raising sons, I'd probably be more realistic about telling them what they can expect from the world. I'd probably say something like "you will be praised and be more successful if you are a selfish asshole who uses people but at the end of the day you gotta look yourself in the mirror and you have to figure out for yourself if you're okay with that." I…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 07:43 AM
4

Because they are. They're trying to find like a status symbol or trophy husband instead of someone to love.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 06:23 AM
0

Yup! I have rejected men because they have a history of using women. If you're looking for a good woman who doesn't use others and cares about people, you're on the right track in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 06:22 AM
0

The irony is that this whole post screams insecurity
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 04:09 AM
0

It comes off as insecure and socially inept, that's why. If some guy asked me my weight (which is desirable), I'd just think he was a weirdo and unmatch immediately. Tbh, I've met guys who do the same to women who ask about height. It's tacky.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 04:09 AM
1

Don't listen to them. You're special and unique for wanting this. I respect you for it. :) It shows that you don't care about conforming to rigid gender norms and would rather treat a woman right than take advantage of them for "building experience." If a guy told me this, he'd be considered husband material.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 04:07 AM
1

ok, so it's not just me right? Hot men think they are funnier than they actually are?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:45 PM
1

Did you read the comment I responded to? I was saying that most active guys are not thrilled about couch potato girlfriends. Guys who value fitness most likely are going to screen for the same in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 05:55 AM
4

Huh. weird. I thought it was a common question, especially on the first few dates as you get to know each other. It could be the type of people I attract, though. They tend to be much more interested in personality/compatibility for whatever reason, but so am I. If a very active man like OP describes goes on dates with a woman who is not very active, isn't that a dead-end of sorts? I guess you could do other stuff, like cooking, going out to eat, and watching movies together? It just seems like …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 03:08 AM
1

It's more reasonable to expect very attractive men to control themselves and to seek to satiate their sexual appetites within loving, monogamous relationships. but many of the most attractive men choose not to do this because using one's power to have a variety of experiences is more enjoyable to young men Hit the nail on the head.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 02:58 AM
6

I've been on a number of dates with "men who have options" and they all asked me about my hobbies, interests, and how active I was. I am an active (bodybuilding, climbing) person and a reader, so I've never had issues with those questions. Maybe I still would have been accepted as a netflix watching couch potato, but I'm sure their interest would not have been as high. It's important for compatibility's sake. Any man who isn't asking attractive women those questions is probably a bit misguided w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 02:51 AM
2

omg I know a woman similar to this. She is 29 and on her third marriage but she is such a fun person to be around! Probably the funniest woman I've met.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 02:40 AM
1

Great question. I do sense a little bit of a cultural shift with terms like "pick-me" becoming more mainstream and ideas from female dating strategy flooding into discussion spaces both online and offline. I think women were definitely more comfortable competing for the "best" men for most of history. Now I think a lot of women, especially older ones, tired of men. As for me, there was one guy I was dating who mentioned he was seeing someone else other than me (before any exclusivity talk). I we…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 05:23 AM
1

Date down in terms of looks, I mean. And yeah, maybe I do take height into consideration, but I personally don't mind in my own dating life. I see a lot of cute, petite women in relationships with like overweight, balding dudes all the time. I very rarely see a couple where the man is much better looking than the woman. I'm surprised you think you see that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 12:43 AM
1

Yeah! Doesn't seem like men care all that much about N-count based on what I've seen with couples I know. This one couple, the man was a virgin and the woman had an N-count of at least 5 based on her stories. They're very happy together!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 11:02 PM
2

Right? What have you "never" seen?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 10:35 PM
1

If most women view a majority of men as unattractive, why do so many of them end up dating toads? Are they that afraid of being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 10:25 PM
6

Does anyone else feel like their experiences and observations are completely opposite to what's considered "truth" on PPD? I mean, I feel like the only thing I agree with is that "women date down" because I see that ALL the time. It's disturbing what a woman will date. Beyond that, I've seen fat girls in long-term happy relationships, beautiful, thin women having trouble with dating, and girls of all types having casual sex. If there are any differences, they are minor. I almost feel like person…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 10:13 PM
–

never said I was high value. Just get routinely pursued by HVM. Also, I'm a "secret" misandrist. I don't advertise it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 06:00 AM
–

How can a woman who is "swamped" for relationship offers have never been in a relationship? Because I don't have a sexuality like yours? And I don't need a relationship to feel whole. I'm also quite busy with school and I prioritize that. Most of the men I dated made it clear they wanted a serious relationship with me and most were okay with me not wanting to have casual sex. The guys in my class who asked me out (i.e. not "tinder") knew who I was and how I felt about casual relationships. They …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 04:06 AM
–

It's complicated, yes! I made that post in a depressive episode, so I was harder on myself than usual and not seeing things clearly. But the truth is that I have had a lot of attention from HVM over the years. As for relationships, it's a two-way street. What I didn't mention in that post is that I don't really like or trust men that much, especially since I didn't get much attention from them before 25. I also don't date a lot. Maybe 2-3 guys every year and I end up rejecting them. Occasionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 03:28 AM
–

I fit in this group. I had likes from multiple HVM online and got hit on by multiple HVM in my med school class (i.e. fellow med students). I'm pretty picky though and am a secret misandrist, so I don't like to date much. By HVM, I mean good job (engineer or above), decent height (5'10'' or above), and attractive/fit. I started getting hit on MORE after 25. Older guys get more confident approaching. I also had to grow into my features a bit and become more confident and outgoing. I think the bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 01:57 AM
1

I will continue to do exactly this because life's not fair so why play fair 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 01:17 AM
1

LMAO. I didn't lie to anyone. I told the first guy I was a virgin (I was still a virgin at 25) and told the second guy I had one partner before (I did). If they think I'm a slut, then there's more they have to worry about (all the other women who have had WAYYY more sex with more partners than I have)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 06:13 AM
-1

Meh, it is what it is. We deal with the cards dealt to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 05:31 AM
2

they should get all the escorts and prostitutes they can afford. I don't care. I'll probably become a sugar mama one day, so I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:56 AM
5

Nope, no problem there. Men should do whatever they want, as long as they're not manipulating people. As someone who's grown up in rich and wealthy circles though, you'd be surprised: the rich guys ARE the attractive guys, a lot of the times. If you can only have casual sex by paying for it, you should.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:52 AM
4

Yeah, it's a problem - a problem for the guys in the 80%. If you're looking for sympathy, you're talking to the wrong woman. I have very high standards, only date attractive men and I rarely put out for them (I've only had sex with two men in my life at 27). I end up rejecting most of them because they have bad character traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:50 AM
4

you're proving my point man. If I want a serious relationship or marriage with a guy, I'm putting 30 hours in/multiple dates to get to know him and also make sure that he won't view me as a slut. y'all get managed because you can't admit that it's okay for a woman to want sex for the sake of having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:43 AM
6

Dude you're simplifying it. While some women definitely view things this way, a lot of women don't. The first and second times I had casual sex, I did it for one simple reason: I wanted to have sex without the 30 hour getting to know/vetting phase. I certainly don't like waiting for sex as sexual compatibility is the most important thing for me to evaluate in a potential partner. Guys have made it this weird thing that if you put out too early, you're not ladylike enough or don't respect yoursel…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:23 AM
4

Um...yeah? I mean women do tend to be more selective with their partners biologically, so I don't think women would get to super high N counts, but I think more women would definitely be having more sex with more men if there was no stigma attached to it. Women are still socialized to resist a man until he "proves" himself to her. Horny women don't exist in this supposed narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 06:11 AM
6

Well this suits me quite well, as a woman. If a guy is hot enough and has the right personality, I can technically sleep with him the night I meet him. The reason I don't is because of years of social shaming and repression of my sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 05:10 AM
3

If she's in a relationship, then yeah. But then she'd probably either not be using condoms or she and her BF would have a stash of their own. I've worked for a place like PP before and the idea was definitely centered around giving condoms to women in case they were having casual sex. Like, you're in the heat of the moment, look around for a condom, and then remember you have one (or 30) in your purse. I think you vastly overestimate the modern woman's drive to have meaningless sex. There's a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:53 AM
2

Do they give like 30 condoms out to every patient? They were like spilling out of my bag as I tried to hide them from my parents I like the novelty ones. They seem fun for someone who has a sex life
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:22 AM
3

Yeah... there's a lot of smoke and mirrors involved in dating as a woman. You've always gotta be careful and watch your back. And you can't trust someone unless you know them very, very well and spent a long time with them. It's honestly tiring. I'm a pretty laidback, chill person and I feel like I can't be like that in dating because it gets taken advantage of so I end up being way more assertive and demanding than I normally like to be. I'd argue dating is still better for the average woman th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:21 AM
3

Had to go to planned parenthood for gynecologic care because I'm on a state insurance plan now. They sent me home with my medication (not STD related, btw) and a laughably large number of condoms in a brown paper bag. I'm almost flattered that they think I have that much sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:14 AM
1

Thank you for saying that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 07:28 PM
1

No, I like it :) I will say though, it doesn't last long with guys who say they are intimidated by me. It's like they can't handle the feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 10:54 AM
3

He repeatedly told me he prefers to stay home most of the time, and typically just reads Reddit. I like to go out, be active, go to restaurants, be around people, etc... I brought this up with him and while he said he would be willing to do certain things, I didn't want to feel like I would have to force him all the time. He seemed like the opposite of me in terms of lifestyle. He was also quite late to both our dates, which rubbed me the wrong way... I think he might have had trouble getting ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 10:26 AM
1

Had to end things with yet another guy. :( Made me sad. We were both attracted to each other but I know we never would have made each other happy. I don't know how people do this over and over again. Just bums me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/21 11:59 PM
1

They would give me rides all the time and would often pay for my meals or snacks without asking for anything in return. No, they never bought me groceries LOL but they would pick up something for me if they were closer to the location. I don't know - tbh, I was just as perplexed as you. But I do think there is some merit to guys tend to be better friends in certain ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 04:55 AM
4

Normally, I would disagree, but purely anecdotally, the only two close male friends I had did ALL of this for me or offered to do so. They were the best friends I've had. Strangely enough, neither were interested in me. They did less for the women they were actually courting.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 12:08 AM
8

I'm female, and the two men I was friends with did these things for me. They were not into me at all. I know, because I asked them out eventually and was shot down.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 12:05 AM
1

Yeah, any suggestions? We talked about hobbies, he said he wouldn't try mine lol (bouldering)... But I think it's because he didn't quite understand it. He also doesn't hike because he burns. He's into music, but I don't know much about music. Lol, I don't know. Maybe I should let him go.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 12:25 AM
1

Has anyone had a good date, but then doubted how good it was afterwards? I thought I had an amazing date yesterday, but looking back I think we were just really attracted to each other but really nervous/awkward. He would ramble about some concept, I would redirect him. we asked each other questions for a bit, and then it ended with us just awkwardly laughing at each other. We did have a good bit in common, not that much though. I don't know how to feel about it tbh. I'll probably give it a coup…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 11:58 PM
6

Yes, weird right? I highly doubt he even gives her a second thought. He's certainly not mentioning her in every reddit comment he posts
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 06:14 PM
5

There's more at play here. A lot of what the average college-educated women want in a man is not average. he needs to have a job he needs a bachelors degree Just those two things put him in a top 30% category among US males. Add on top of that, the woman needs to be attracted to him, and needs to vibe with him on a conversational/personal level. The average U.S. male doesn't even have a college degree. The average income of an American man is about 40,000. The average man is not a suitable mate …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 11:37 PM
0

I'm in a wealthy suburb, and there are 40+ year old women who look better than some of the younger ones, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 11:30 PM
7

I mean, at that point who the fuck cares. Even at 50, the kind of relationships that form are going to be very different than for those in their 20s and 30s. It's likely going to be a post-divorce relationship, and the desire for children/family is not going to play as much of a role. It's just going to be two people looking for companionship. If a guy at 50 is looking for someone in her 30s to have children with, that's another issue entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 03:36 AM
22

Mmm... okay so I think there is a wall, but not in the way RedPill describes. If you want children, you do hit some sort of a wall around 35. You can absolutely still get pregnant and have healthy children (that's not the wall I'm talking about), but the likelihood of finding someone in a short period of time, marrying them, and having children within a few years, is low. Basically, you'd have to be pretty lucky for things to work out so quickly for you to be able to have children. If you don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 03:31 AM
1

Amen!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 06:48 PM
9

Okay. Got a few things wrong here "Chad" types pursue above average, as well as average women all the time. Although they may have higher personality standards for the average women, it's rare that they are only dating 10s. Men tend to be much more flexible with their sexuality. That being said, most women are not actively pursuing men. The opposite is happening. Men are pursuing average women and not being completely forthright about their intentions. This is a man vs man issue, not a man vs wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 01:24 AM
6

Agree with you. Medium sized age gaps are very common and most women do not have much of an issue with it. I honestly don't think 35M dating 24-29 year olds is that bad. Most 27 year old women (like me) include 35 year old men in their age preferences anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 10:05 PM
1

Oh wow. Yeah I think I agree with you. How do you go about destroying your ego?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 10:06 PM
1

How do I solve the jealousy issue? I get jealous when a man has had more experience than me (which is most men to be honest). I feel like I should have had that
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:41 PM
3

Almost all attractive guys have had a hoe phase. It actually annoys me because I never got a lot of attention from men when I was younger and feel like I "missed out" You have to find the type of person who's similar to you, even if it means they may not be as attractive or interesting as the others. That's what I'm trying to do now.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:05 PM
2

I’d say the same about women. If a woman is successful she gets what she wants
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:34 PM
1

The lesson is that if you're Indian/South Asian you're better off going back home to get married. I would actually advise Indian/South Asian women to also consider marrying within their own community. I've seen too many young desi women try the hookup culture (or dating, although one and the same) thinking it will work like it does for white women (sometimes). They end up having a really bad time with it. We are not as desirable white women and the sooner we realize that the better. It's really …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:28 AM
1

I would actually disagree with the sock thing. A lot of attractive women get pumped and dumped. They whine about it on tiktok all the time. Many attractive men don't have to dumpster dive for sex. They can hook up with hot women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:24 AM
1

5'4'' for a man is actually quite uncommon. In America, the average height for a man is 5'9'' so that's a full 5 inches shorter than average
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:23 AM
1

I'm over it tbh. I have other stuff to do and don't want to waste my time I have to ask - what does your flair mean lol? I grew up Muslim and hate Islam now. Which type of women are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 05:56 PM
1

We're colleagues and at one point I considered him a friend. I'd feel really uncomfortable and disappointed if he tried to sleep with me tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 05:50 PM
2

Oh I would not go alone, but I’m not in the mood for hookups which is likely what he’s hoping for, so I’m gonna bow out
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 10:23 AM
3

Yeah I agree it seems suspect
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 10:22 AM
2

Yeah I’ll ask. Leaning towards not going though. Just not sure about his intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 09:38 AM
5

A classmate sent me a personal message inviting me to his party. I was like "cool man!" until I realized that he's very freshly single... He followed up to confirm if I was coming or not. I've asked other friends from my class if they've received messages from him and it doesn't seem like my group of friends was invited. Except for me. I've worked closely with this guy for 2 months (like half a year ago). We had some good conversations. I didn't see him that way because he was taken. Could this …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 09:13 AM
2

I'm a practical woman. I stopped believing in romantic love before I started dating anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 11:41 PM
3

I'd say I'm kind of serious... guys seem to want someone who's fun and entertaining all the time and that's not me. Also, because I'm a medical student (who struggles quite a bit academically) I don't have a lot of free time and time management is not great. Lastly, I lack patience with getting to know someone. I want things like exclusivity to happen quicker than what most American guys want. I also FALL for people much quicker due to inexperience. I also lack some self-esteem. I believe the on…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 11:23 PM
2

that's cool, but I don't have certain skills required for dating long-term. I gotta be realistic about what is available to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 11:19 PM
2

I will say that is nice, but if you don't want that or want to actually date seriously, I doubt it works for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 11:18 PM
3

27, but I started dating at 25. I'm just realizing with my inexperience that it seems pointless to try dating more since there's no guarantee of marriage and seems less likely in my case.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 11:01 PM
2

You're young though. I'd say if by 25 nothing happens for you, then definitely go the traditional route. But I will say people become single in their mid- to late 20s all the time and I don't know if you want to invest time and effort into a relationship for that to happen. I'm 27 and need to start thinking about things in a more practical way, given my own strengths and weaknesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 10:48 PM
2

Yeah right? Western dating seems like a colossal waste of time if there's no guarantee of marriage. It's weird that most people don't feel the same way, but maybe it's because I still hold the values from growing up in the culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 10:47 PM
5

Why is Western dating so non-committal? I've heard of countless women who were "forever gfs" for years and ended up having to leave because the man would not marry them. I've heard it the other way around too, but not as often. What's going on? I'm from a South Asian background and basically from meeting someone for the first time to marriage, it takes about 6 months to a year. This makes sense for people who are more marriage-minded. Western dating is better for entertainment/recreational purpo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 09:20 PM
1

Oh. That makes me feel better
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 07:49 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 07:11 PM
3

lmao Tom Selleck... Tom definitely worked out. That's the type of body where you know he works out, but isn't obsessed with it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 06:31 PM
1

Girls who dated someone "out of their league" (somebody who you feel may be more attractive or of a higher status than you) and it didn't end up working out - did you have trouble dating "within your league" after that experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 06:30 PM
2

I dated a guy who was incredibly fit with a six pack. I had no idea why he was into me initially... I felt very intimidated by him and insecure about my own fitness level, though I am quite active myself. Anyway, I prefer a guy with some mass on his arms, but I'd say I draw the line at six pack since it's a sign of intense dedication and maintenance. If you have a six pack, it's not going to work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 05:56 PM
–

Are there women here who enjoy(ed) hookup culture? Every time a guy mentions participating in this it’s like an instant red flag because I personally know many women who were harmed by it. But maybe I’m being too hard on them and there are women who freely partake and voluntarily chose that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 08:34 AM
15

Having sex without getting attached or being shamed for it is worth it alone
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:32 AM
7

you're forgetting about cute girls with mental problems
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:04 AM
4

This is why I don't watch the Bachelor and am flabbergasted why so many women like it. I feel physically sick to my stomach watching it
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:03 AM
1

Here's the thing though - women aren't crazy. We just have a different way of processing our emotions/love/sex than men do and get called "crazy" even though we're normal. So this is actually "pick me" energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:02 AM
2

thought she was Middle Eastern or Latina or something EDIT: OH DAMN the KKK?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 03:53 AM
7

Seems really, really sad to me. A lot of these women are perfectly decent-looking, but feel they need to look better to get what they want in life, which you know...maybe is true. I just also think it's not the healthiest way of approaching things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 11:55 PM
3

`I know right? Kinda sad. Certainly needs a therapist. She probably got caught up in the "I'm not white so must by ugly" type of thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 11:52 PM
1

Yeah exactly. If I wanted to try to bag a hot extroverted dude, I'd have to basically transform myself. That takes time, first off, but also a lot of energy that I don't have right now. If they don't want me as I am, I'd rather choose someone I'm more compatible with at this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 05:49 PM
2

I agree actually. The wholesome guy I’m seeing right now I made the first move on
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:56 PM
1

Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:55 PM
2

Uhh that’s exactly why I want to avoid them
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:31 PM
2

Lol i’ve had sex with two guys. Like ever. That’s not an issue
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:28 PM
2

I've had a few instances of casual sex, and I most definitely did NOT give them my best. I refused to go down on them, and with some did not allow penetrative sex. So it was basically them eating me out or fingering me to orgasm and then me leaving. I haven't had relationship sex yet, but I imagine if my boyfriend was loving, I would definitely go down on him if he liked that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:14 PM
3

HAHA! figures. I think I'm just too shy for dating at this point. Like it was fine when I started out, but I've been kind of traumatized by certain repeated experiences and I've become much more guarded, which, in turn, has made things harder
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:10 PM
4

The guy I'm seeing currently does seem quite wholesome and genuine. We've been on three dates, but I feel like he might angle for sex on our next date even though I don't feel ready. Honestly, some guys are pretty good at acting, I've realized.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:09 PM
2

That's what I was thinking. Which is why it makes sense they would fade away if sex doesn't happen immediately. So I guess I'll just filter out any particularly hot guys first going forward
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:03 PM
0

Not sure what to do about hot, extroverted guys on dating apps messaging me. I've had this happen a few times now. If the conversation is good and they seem like a fun person to hang out with, I'll go out with them. But by date 3-4 (sex or no sex), they usually start slow-fading and I just assume they've found someone else they vibe with more (and one time he basically told me he did). My opinion is that these guys just have so many options dating is really a numbers game for them. It's quite ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:55 PM
2

True. It’s just an expectation at this point
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 09:30 PM
3

Didn’t know that it actually takes practice!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 09:02 PM
3

Yeah not at all relatable but thanks for sharing
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 07:41 PM
7

Surprised at how far I've come after only a couple years of on/off dating. I used to get so nervous around guys, never knew how to read them, and my intuition was not great. Now I can pretty easily figure out how far it's going to go with a guy a couple dates in. I can hold my own in conversations, and guys seemed to like me much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 07:10 PM
12

Even as a woman who considers herself fairly conservative, I have never truly felt that uncomfortable with porn usage in men (unless it's an active addiction). I've used porn when I was too traumatized to date/have sex with men and I consider that okay. Porn does not equate to sex with another human being. It just doesn't. It totally pales in comparison to the point where feeling insecure about it seems irrational. Now, is sex trafficking a real issue when it comes to porn? YES. That's the reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:47 PM
2

??? Is this directed towards me? He’s like a 5’9” Mexican dude
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 10:24 PM
2

Yes a lot of people are inherently racist. But the better ones don’t advertise it because they have the good sense not to
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:43 PM
2

Because tallness is not always associated with race. Race is a particularly touchy and sensitive topic, especially as a WOC myself
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:34 PM
3

This is so random haha, but I love it. Very wholesome
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:12 PM
3

YES!! thank you!! I've been trying to figure out why it bothered me so much and this is it. I'm ending things
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:56 PM
9

What world do YOU live in? 27 is not considered old anywhere except in maybe developing nations. And with higher education and career considerations, many, MANY people are getting married after 30 worldwide
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:48 PM
3

My parents are from India which is very traditional and marriage-oriented. Most women get married before 25 but not as many before 20 anymore. They will typically get an education between 18-25 and mature as human beings while spending some extra time with their families (which is a huge part of Indian culture).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:47 PM
4

Thanks for being one of the few who actually gave me a reasonable response (I mean what was I expecting on PPD lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:44 PM
2

Exactly. Keep that shit to yourself. I don't date certain men, but I keep that shit totally under wraps because that's the nice polite, considerate thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:44 PM
1

AHAHA no. This is another guy. That guy slow-faded on me (like a typical man ironically enough)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:42 PM
2

He’s Mexican Attractive brown guys are my favorite but don’t like me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:33 PM
4

Racial preferences are inherently racist
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:32 PM
2

Agreed, there’s just no need to say it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:31 PM
2

Uhhh how does that not seem racist to you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:30 PM
2

Yeah not sure why. I mean I guess I should end things 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:17 PM
2

Yeah but that’s fucked up 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:16 PM
2

Not sure. Honestly everything was going so well until he said that. Not sure what to do now
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:13 PM
1

I recently started using OLD and have definitely noticed a change. I'm getting the same amount of matches, but guys are quick to leave if they don't like something I say, don't double text as much (don't text as much at all actually) and are much clearer about what they want. I'd say it's a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:49 PM
2

The guy I'm seeing seems great in all categories except... he's a lil racist. He told me that I was attractive for an indian girl (not really those words, but same feel). And then he told me he usually goes for European-looking women. This seems like a red flag to me. Not sure how seriously I should take it. He's very respectful otherwise, we share hobbies and converse easily. He is clearly attracted to me. I just don't really like racial preferences in dating and it made really uncomfortable he…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:45 PM
2

Yeah I agree. It just made a bit uncomfortable. I do think he expected his ego to be stroked. Next time I'll just say I've had good experiences with guys in the past. I don't usually say anything when he brings this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 03:57 PM
2

Yes! Male and female friends
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:02 AM
1

No he’s straight
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:13 AM
1

Lol we had that discussion. He’s straight. He just keeps talking about how guys are trash
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:13 AM
2

This guy I'm seeing keeps telling me things like "dating men is so hard" and "men are the worst" and I kind of think it's hilarious.. but could be concerning? Like it feels manipulative and he's always waiting for my response and I'm just like "I'm not sure what you want me to say". Does he expect me to respond with stories of how guys mistreated me because he's not going to find many. Or tell him he's better than everyone? What do you guys think?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:01 AM
3

Like i mentioned, my experience with this is anecdotal. Fwiw, i’m a low N count woman (n=1) with a flurry of emotional issues and currently on antidepressants. Many of my similarly low n count and virgin friends are similar 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 08:07 PM
8

Most of the women I know who have N-counts above 1-2 are very confident, well-adjusted, self-assured women. They're all in long-term relationships now, but they did have "fun" back in college. This "mentally damaged used up slut" is a trope I only see on reddit tbh. It's typically the virgins or very low N count women who struggle with low self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 07:09 PM
3

It's not a hard-and-fast rule of mine. Like I said, I only have experience waiting 3 months so I figured it would take around that time again. It's possible if the TRUST (biggest one for me) and connection was there, I might have sex sooner with the guy. And just FYI, you shouldn't be spending huge amounts of money on a stranger on dates anyway. Don't have to meet up multiple times a week either in the beginning. A few times a month is fine too (this is what I did with the guy I eventually had s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 07:06 PM
9

1) end goal at this point in your life Cute, smart guy to have regular, monogamous sex with. I'm not too keen on marriage right now, but if the right person comes along, I might consider it 2) your strategy to achieve that? Please include your gender and age. Cute, smart guys have options. That's just the truth. I try to keep myself fit, caught up on current events, and make sure hair/makeup looks effortless/natural but attractive. If I had more time, I'd also try to invest time into an active h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 02:44 PM
6

Totally agree. For one, social skills go hand-in-hand with being average. Average people "fit in" and non-average people don't. Average people are the ones invited to parties and have rich social lives. That's average. I didn't fit in at school and didn't have many friends when I was growing up. I was basically barred from using the "average" title to describe my self.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 06:03 PM
3

ugly guys get laid sometimes. My cousin is ugly too and spins plates on the regular.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 05:13 AM
3

I'm a woman, but I've always gotten along better with other women than with men because of this very reason. I feel like women tend to give very good advice - based not only on personal experience but also an empathetic understanding of your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 05:13 AM
2

I like how men value athletics and fitness. I also like how they learn about money management and begin prudently investing early on. I like how they can get obsessed with a scientific and historical topic and it becomes a passion/hobby of theirs. I can never muster up enough passion about any one subject, but men seem to do it quite well
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 05:11 AM
1

Women rule on OLD. An average guy should wait for a woman to like him/initiate conversation or try his luck on a woman-led app like Bumble. If that doesn't happen - tough. Women are just going to wait until the next best thing if the man was the one who chose her because there are SOOOO many men out there. She has to actually choose you specifically for you to be successful. If that doesn't work for you, you'll have to go out and do it the old-fashioned way (I admit it was hard with COVID though…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 04:54 AM
3

He was not a sex worker. He had a good job and would not have needed the money (at least as far as I know). Like I said though, he's not the only one of his kind to come through the doors. Lots of downright ugly guys are having sex and that too sex with multiple partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 04:50 AM
2

5'5''-5'6'' I think (i.e. less than average) and imo very unattractive features. Big wide nose and wide mouth, small eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 04:48 AM
5

So. For work I was reading the medical chart of this one dude who seemed like such a stud on paper. He had multiple sexual partners, both men and women, and was positive for herpes. I was like SURE that this was gonna be some frat boy or some tatted "cool" fuckboy. Nope. It was an overnight guy with glasses, an anime shirt, and an acne-scarred face. 🤷‍♀️ Oh, he also came in with his cute Asian girlfriend who was a-ok with his sexual history. I'm convinced that if any guy is not getting sex, it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 04:36 AM
2

I've seen all kinds of women in relationships tbh. For the "uglier" women, I'd say personality plays a bigger role, but beautiful women also have trouble keeping relationships too. I've noticed that the "best" most successful personality for both guys and girls in dating is an extroverted, confident, outgoing one. They're completely secure with themselves and make others feel comfortable around them. Those are typically the kind of people who get into relationships frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:38 AM
5

It's pretty sad if you think about it. I also know complete bitches who are married and absolute sweethearts (not even super clingy women) who've never been in a relationships. There's just something about being treated like shit that people seem drawn to lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:31 AM
0

This is so dumb. The only people who take FSM seriously are men and maybe some deeply troubled women with internalized misogyny issues. Seriously. As a woman, you will get along with some women and not with others. That's fine and normal. Some women are catty and selfish and ambitious (in a cutthroat way) and girls usually sniff that out pretty early on, because we tend to have superior social instincts to men. These are typically the women who gravitate towards men, either because they have mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:27 AM
1

Women in my experience have been much nicer to me. Maybe nicer's not the right word. I should say "gentler," because that's really what it is. Women go out of their way to make me feel comfortable and heard/seen. They validate my feelings and opinions and are more empathetic as a rule. Guys tend to be a little more assertive, egotistical and tend to seek dominance in a conversation. They also aren't afraid to put you down or "in your place". This is why I think more dominant/"alpha" girls tend t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:18 AM
23

My dad gets scammed so much, it's not even funny. BOTH genders can be duped, just obviously in different ways
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:58 AM
1

I grew up slightly bullied/ostracized because I was different (only brown person in a predominantly white neighborhood). I developed a really funny personality so people were drawn to me that way. I do notice some of the funniest women I know are usually average or below average in attractiveness. It is very, very rare for me to laugh till I hurt at something a beautiful woman says. Now, being funny is only one trait. In terms of generosity and kindness, I'd say I've met both beautiful and non-b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 07:33 PM
1

Hey this happens in my culture! I'd like to offer a slightly more positive perspective. I will likely have an arranged marriage because I chose to get a graduate degree and if I go the dating route, there's no way I'd be married before 35 (because you typically date for 5 years or so before getting married in American culture). There's no time for me to date right now (I'm 26). I have no intention of being a forever girlfriend. If I go the arranged marriage route, the courting period is usually …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:57 PM
1

No one HAS to date someone at their level or below their level. Besides, like I said (the part you didn't include), this doesn't mean that this person should or will get what they want in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 06:01 AM
8

I don't think it's a problem as long as they don't belittle or bully respectful, nice people who simply don't fit their standards. I don't think it's a problem to not date people who you aren't attracted to, though. Just as an incel is entitled to have high standards (like incels who would only consider dating an instagram model), an overweight single mom is entitled to her standards. That doesn't mean either person should or will get what they want in a partner. They should also understand that…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/21 09:32 PM
7

wtf, as a woman (with high standards), this is completely off. The guys rated 6.5 and above are all 9-10s. And anthony mackie being average? The heartthrob avan jogia WHO MAKES MONEY OFF OF HIS LOOKS is rated at 6.5?? This list makes absolutely no sense. Anoop Desai in the 4.5 row would be a 7 in my view. The only "average" guys I see (should be rated at 5) are all put in the 4.0 category.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/21 06:38 PM
4

No, I'd say most of the world's humans are like this. It's just the vile scum that lurks around PPD/TRP that think it's optional or "dumb" to help a child in need.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 06:09 PM
1

See my response below. They could have separated first time fathers (only had children in old age) and second- or third- time fathers (who had children in both young and old age) to control for this
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:26 AM
24

You misunderstood me. If a man found a mate early on, he would have children from a previous relationship, for example. That same man could also father children in his old age. If they separated the first-time fathers from the second or third-time fathers who have older children as well as younger children, it may control for this. It's hard to quantify attractiveness, so I'd say this is a better way to do it
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 08:15 PM
56

So they don't control for that?? I imagine it would be quite easy. It's just a matter of categorizing men as either "found a mate early" or not
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 04:51 PM
1

Guys in my area are pretty cute as long as they're within the right age range. Most people have a healthy BMI here in the wealthy suburb I live in and actually a lot of people are quite fit. I'd say about the 70% of the guys I see on a daily basis out and about are handsome.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:48 AM
2

Nah he probably gets it, but he wants to brag about all the women he's banging casually
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:37 AM
2

Damn. She's so cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 05:13 PM
1

I think my opinion on this holds more weight than yours, since I'm actually in med school and I see both the unsuccessful and successful med students on a daily basis. The successful ones are able to balance and date and go to school events, etc. The unsuccessful ones just struggle to pass each exam. These ones are the ones who are going to struggle with balancing lifestyle/dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 06:50 PM
17

Okay so I definitely understand this sentiment and in most cases it's very true, but there is one exception to this rule: A guy who is in his 30s can be stable, marriage material if he genuinely focused on his education/career. Take medicine for instance (i.e. the path to becoming a doctor). It's different than other careers because depending on your aptitude, it can totally take over your life, leaving very little time to nurture relationships. There are guys in my med school class who are in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 05:02 AM
2

no :(
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 10:49 PM
4

Not to be dramatic, but when I think of the type of guy who is absolutely NOT my type, I have always imagined a guy in polo shirt and khakis. Sorry bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:32 PM
2

lol why??
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:15 PM
7

good question. You know when you're at a party, and don't know anyone and that one guy/girl strikes up a conversation with you and suddenly you feel like it's not so bad anymore? I'd like him to be that kind of person. I imagine him as someone whose life mantra is the "more the merrier!" He's the type of person who could strike up a convo with anyone and make friends anywhere. He would obviously be open to me and my friends tagging along in activities/events/trips (assuming everyone is chill) an…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:15 PM
2

5'8'-5'10'', any race, dark brown/black hair, short well-groomed beard, dabbles in recreational drugs, fairly social, enjoys music events, is inclusive, has a sense of style, mid-20s. EDIT: Most importantly - adores me and wants a monogamous relationship with me
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:02 PM
2

100% true in California, at least. I rarely see a couple where the man is more attractive. The girls are beautiful here and the guys are so-so. The couples are either equally matched (which is also pretty rare), or the girl is leagues more attractive than the guy is, but the guy makes up for it by being a pretty social/"Party dude".
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:06 PM
5

You all are finally beginning to understand. Social skills and personality (particularly having an outgoing/uninhibited one) IS EVERYTHING.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:03 PM
9

I mostly disagree with this assessment. Here's the thing - lots of men (and women) do not have access to these fun, sexy "casual environments" you speak of. There is something that precludes them from being invited and participating - maybe it's poor social skills, lack of physical attractiveness, no style, lack of wealth, or even racial differences (i.e. white girls more likely to be invited than brown/black girls - same goes for guys). The 20% of guys who are hot and cool and capable of gettin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 03:43 AM
6

So I've seen a lot of guys hate makeup and even plastic surgery to an extent because it's "dishonest" and "misrepresenting your genes." So...what do you guys think about retinoids? I have to apply retinoid every single night or else I'd have a face full of cystic acne, even at 26. My family has terrible skin. My mother still gets pimples in her 50s. Father still has acne all over his back. All (yes ALL) my cousins have deep scars from years of acne and tbh, my skin is probably the best in the fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 03:33 AM
1

Good question! I'm lucky in that my type correlates with the type of guys who are attracted to me. I like "alt" non-white guys with style, panache, and a love for indie music. Strangely enough, this is who I attract. Guys I'm least attracted to are the typical sports fans/frat bros who are blond and tall and privileged. Also gym bros. Thank god they don't like me and only seem to be interested in basic white women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 05:53 AM
1

so I asked him if he was having money problems and couldn’t afford the gas. LOL. Girl, I respect you so much for this 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 11:24 PM
10

Honestly, it terrifies me that so many men here feel the way they do. I genuinely did not have time to date from 18-26 (my age now). I've only had sex literally two times with the same guy, someone I dated early last year. He waited three months for me to get comfortable enough with him. I feel like if I tell a guy I don't have much experience and therefore want to go slow, he won't believe me and think I'm trying to trick him. This mentality that all women are used up by late 20s sucks for ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 03:17 AM
1

they achieved self-awareness at an alarmingly quick pace. Alarmingly? Isn't this what you want women to do, though? I'm just saying if a woman is self-aware enough to settle down with her looksmatch or below, then isn't that a good thing? Also, it's rather common. Obviously the dating pool has people who are more likely to be less self-aware.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 02:12 AM
2

Then why are so many ugly women in relationships with ugly men? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:03 PM
2

100% i count it everytime my mom or dad say I’m beautiful lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 10:50 PM
4

I've been fortunate enough that I've never felt uncomfortable by a guy hitting on me, unless it's done in a disrespectful way (i.e. grabbing/touching me). If it's a simple comment, like "you have such pretty eyes" or "you're so beautiful," then it's cool and flattering. Also, I can just say "thank you" and he and I move on with our lives if I'm not interested in a conversation. If he had opened up "so why are you eating alone" or something like that, that would freak me out. It puts more pressur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 10:39 PM
4

Somebody came up to me and called me beautiful today. Needed to hear it as I haven't felt like a woman in months with all the work, deadlines and studying I have to do. Funny thing is, I feel like I'm usually much better dressed and never get hit on in public. Today, I literally had on scrubs (not even my nice ones), with a bare face and my hair all curly, so it was a surprise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 10:31 PM
1

Promiscuity is bad from a biological perspective. Higher risk of STDs. It's actually a medical recommendation for people to be monogamous.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/21 05:51 AM
2

Okay, so it sounds like they're not technically ghosting. The BS excuse IS the rejection, to be quite honest with you. There's no door open unless you want something totally non-committal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:29 PM
2

Girl no. You're thinking about this in the wrong way. You are the one with the upper hand - YOU are the one with options! A 35 year old unmarried guy who is dating significantly younger probably has commitment issues and insecurity issues. He is NOT the kind of guy who's going to LTR you if that's what you're looking for. It's a myth that older guys will treat you better. Yes, maybe don't date 21 year olds, but by 25/26 a lot of guys will end up looking for LTRs and are marriage-minded. Also thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:26 PM
1

Just out of curiosity, how long are you guys dating before they ghost? Also, do you have any idea why they wouldn't just say "hey this isn't working out" instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:20 PM
1

Be more adventurous - go on trips, parties, never say no to an invite if you have no where else to be. If you don't have anyone to go with, go alone and make the most of it. Don't be so afraid of what people may think of you. Say what you mean (unless what you say is misogynistic, hateful drivel, in which case don't) and mean what you say. People appreciate and respect honesty more than you think they do. Practice, practice practice small talk and conversations/discussions. Be a curious person -…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 06:25 PM
5

Men are always potential abusers. Stop gaslighting us. A woman who is too trusting will absolutely get fucked over. There's a reason women tend to more guarded. If it was "irrational," not every woman would be like that, but we are and there's a reason. It's for our protection. As for your other points, I agree. As someone who's 26 and female and has only had sex a few times, I will never for the life of me understand why guys whine about celibacy so much. In my mind, I'm like, I've been horny f…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 10:05 PM
0

Some of these women are my friends and while they may be shy, I doubt they're that bad on dates. But my main point is that this is why a lot of "good girls" struggle. These guys are all going after the same type of girls and then complaining "where are the good women." The good women who are single tend to be introverted, shy wallflowers, that's why.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 09:42 PM
6

Honestly, some of the most good-hearted women I know are still single. They're very cute and sweet, but wear their heart on their sleeve and are generally kind of shy and quiet. You can absolutely be too "nice" as a woman. You're seen as a doormat. Guys ignore them IRL and they're not "fun" enough for online dating. I do know of one woman like this and because she was religious, she was able to find a great religious guy. The others who are more secular struggle with it because it seems like mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 01:14 AM
8

I started dating at 25 and was terrified about these things you mentioned. The truth is, though, is that most of the guys didn't care. They desired me just as much as they would any woman for sex or a partnership. If they did care, it wasn't enough to make them end things with me. I am pretty, feminine, and was genuinely enthusiastic about getting to know them and dating in general. Now, it may have been different if I was a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 02:23 AM
1

Lol what kind of drugs do you think I'm talking about? I'm not talking about shooting up heroin or smoking meth, but trying some psychedelics here or there is not going to kill you. I'm not telling you personally to try drugs (I would personally say don't if you do value your health above all else), but I'm just saying that girls like guys who experiment with drugs, but don't have serious addictions. It's a balancing act.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 05:16 PM
2

Just sex does not lead to a relationship in most cases for women. Guys are less picky about who they have sex with, so they have sex with women who they don't see as LTR material all the time. I'd say if a guy is in a relationship, he's more likely to be loved by the woman than vice versa. If a woman is in a relationship, she's more likely to be more invested in the man. Does that make sense? So even hypothetically if women were more easily able to get into relationships (which doesn't make much…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 06:26 PM
2

Tbh, it takes me a lot of time to warm up to people. I'm more comfortable with taking things slow and easing into things. If a guy wants to talk 24/7 and wants to see me 2x/week right off the bat that makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm also pretty avoidant-anxious so my instinct is to back away. For women with a secure attachment style, they likely will not mind (and even like the extra attention).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 07:19 PM
2

There was a guy I dated last year who had a noticeable gay lisp, though he was (apparently) completely straight. I thought it was hilarious and it made him more interesting to me. I think I'm much more likely to write off a weird voice as a "quirk" than I am a certain facial feature. Like if a guy has unkempt beard or like a weird nose or something, that would bother me more. Most voices are attractive to me in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 07:16 PM
33

From what I've observed, women have "privilege" when it comes to the sexual market. That is, they are more likely to get sex if they want it. But as women don't have as much of a sex drive and may not want NSA sex, this doesn't really even feel like privilege. I don't consider the ability to be pumped and dumped to be a privilege. As for finding a loving, genuine relationship, I'd say it's just as hard for women as it is for men. Some women are difficult to love, just like some men are. There ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 07:09 PM
1

yeah. I hate boring people. I'd rather die than live a boring life. I look down upon people who don't want to do anything other than stay at home and let their brains and bodies and lives go to waste. I used to be like that but forced myself to change, which is why I have no sympathy for people who are still like that. Stagnation is death.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:57 AM
2

Of course a chad will be better off than a billy. It's in their definitions. I do agree that you get more leeway as a more attractive person. But in my opinion, you're not reaching your true dating potential if you live complacently. There's also always the risk of attractiveness fading in a LTR - then you're just left with the other person's personality
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:36 AM
7

I put forth my own preference. Based on my conversations with other women, many of them feel similarly. I never said that boring people can't get sex. Really. Look at my comment. I never say that. But by being interesting, you can definitely expand your dating pool. It's disingenuous to deny that
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:28 AM
0

ok and? what do you mean to prove with your comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:20 AM
10

Honestly, all I want is "interesting" and "not a piece of shit" and "a healthy sense of self-worth" I don't know know why people, both men and women, have such a tough time being interesting. Just get out - go do something. Go do some drugs for crying out loud. Do something risky. Meet some new people. Go on road trips a few times a year. Try a new hobby. Why are you happy sitting alone at home watching sports/news or reality TV?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:06 AM
2

I do want to clarify that this is not a popular opinion among women. While this is my honest opinion, I'd say most women are not like this. It's why polygamy isn't more widely accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 12:42 AM
1

If it's a polygamy situation and my only other option is the mouthbreather for some reason, I would do it, assuming I have equal or higher resources, rights and opportunities as the other women (assuming this is what can be meant by "treats you exactly how you want to be treated"). Honestly, if polygamy was the norm, I would be fine with it. It's just the fact that monogamy is so widely accepted that it makes you feel worthless if you were to willingly choose polygamy. I will say most of my frie…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 12:20 AM
3

lol it would be the same. I'd get an arranged marriage. Probably wouldn't have even dipped my toes into dating at all because I knew I wouldn't be successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 11:59 PM
1

Strange for you because you're not from that culture? Makes total sense to me. My parents met on their wedding day. Things are different now. I'll likely speak to my suitor for 6 months to a year or so, and then we'll make the decision. As for the sex thing - I'd rather have sex in a marriage. I think that's the only way I'll feel completely comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:14 AM
1

Yes, I want to get married. In 2022. Already discussed it with my parents and I'm getting sent photos/bios. I come from a marriage- and family-focused culture. I thought I'd dip my toes into American modern dating once I left religion but it does not align with my values at all, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I liked it. I do not want to put time and emotional investment into someone who will not marry me for years. I want to be courted for marriage only. I want a lifelong compani…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/21 05:48 AM
1

lol I don't think this applies to me. I haven't dated enough. And there are many handsome guys in my community who are looking for a wife from the same background.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 03:06 AM
2

Here's the issue: in the community I grew up in low N count or even virgin upon marriage is encouraged and accepted. It's certainly stricter for women (have to be a virgin), but even men get pressured not to have premarital sex. In secular American communities, there isn't really much pressure to wait. Both desirable men and women start having sex in their teens. By the time they're my age (26), most of them have amassed a number of partners, which is why I have trouble finding someone who consi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:44 AM
2

I'm over American dating. It's been about a year and a half (on and off) and I've had enough. There's too much uncertainty to warrant any kind of investment made in these partnerships. I thought love was worth trying for, but it's not. I'm way too far behind too since I started dating at 25. Even when I like a guy and he likes me, doesn't mean either of us won't change our minds down the line and then we've just wasted all those years. Doesn't seem like most people are into the "grow old togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:33 AM
1

I can't be the only woman who likes rounded, softer faces?? Andrew Garfield is so cute to me. Never liked the extremely chiseled look. Most Chads I know also don't look like that. They're typically the fun-loving, boyish types.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:25 AM
2

lol to be honest any guilt that stems from an N-count is just patriarchy-related and being shamed. They don't have any guilt about actually engaging in the pleasurable acts, because why should they?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 07:56 PM
4

Is this based purely on physical attractiveness or a combination of factors? I'm asking bc I routinely will come across very physically attractive men only to find out they never went to college or are unemployed, which drops their attractiveness level down.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 05:37 PM
2

I do tend to think guys like rounder faces and girls like more chiseled faces. It's why a lot of guys like Gigi Hadid over Bella Hadid, while for me at least it's the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 04:53 PM
2

I'm curious! Give me an example?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:53 AM
3

Sooo true. They actually make it really obvious. We just lie to ourselves for no reason. Well! I guess I'm not making that mistake again.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:46 AM
2

Yeah, was thinking about canceling the night before because it didn't feel right but I didn't want to be the jerk that reaches out and then cancels immediately. I guess it was better that he's the one that put an end to things ultimately
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:34 AM
3

Do I have to earn that with age and experience? Can you give me a hint?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:06 AM
3

Yeah she was honestly the only one to tell me not to do it. Everyone else just said it's worth a shot and I honestly don't think it was lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:05 AM
3

You did indeed!! You were right, I was wrong. How'd you know it wasn't gonna go well?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 01:48 AM
2

I mean, yeah. But it was out of the blue. I literally had not talked to him for months. I only reached out to him because I finally had some time off. I do have to say girls seem to have this 6th sense for mate guarding. Either they're all trying to fuck you, or none of them are. Lol I have never heard this before. It's so funny. But yeah, I guess it could be applicable to this situation. Also, it is cuffing season so I think more people are tryna date now anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 12:29 AM
3

I reached out to this guy I had dated back in July. He seemed a bit cautious/distant in text messages, but I figured it made sense for the situation (I had ended things with him in July). He still asked to meet up though. Our date also felt a bit off. We went over to my place because it was cold out and while he was really affectionate and we made out, again something felt off and I had him leave before things got too heated. He told me a couple days later that he actually developed feelings for…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/20 10:20 PM
2

This is such a smart response. I'd say this applies to women too. The women who get taken advantage of are likely more idealistic too and think everyone else operates the same way. The women who get what they want operate with self-interests in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 02:00 AM
24

You're not even seeing the women with zero social status. They're not around you. They're not going to be spending any kind of time with a boy in a social setting. They're at home in their PJs doing some kind of quiet/introverted activity. I'm saying the increase in social status made me more visible to men. Example: I was now getting invited to parties, thus seen more by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 06:13 AM
16

I'm telling you. The only guys who talked to me were guys forced to do group projects with me and it was painful every time. That or dudes in food service or retail. None of the guys in high school or college actually struck up a conversation with me to try to get to know me. As I got older, the boys have mostly grown into men and exchange polite pleasantries with me, but even then most guys I'd say are not interested romantically in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 06:09 AM
20

For real. I don't know why I waste my time on here. Our experiences don't neatly fit into their narrative of "choosy bitches ignore their looksmatches to go after chads"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 06:03 AM
9

Well I tried online dating, but my self-esteem was so low from being ignored IRL that I thought I was only getting matches because the male:female ratio was so high. I felt like it wasn't an actually good representation of my true "market value." I dated some guys for a few dates, but when I realized my self-esteem was causing issues, I decided to just stop. And no, I didn't have sex with anyone until after I was asked out IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 04:37 AM
19

LOL what?? Dude, guys didn't even talk to me. Yes, I'm including all guys. My self-esteem was so low back then, I would have dated anyone who asked me out. I'm telling you - NOT ONE GUY, ATTRACTIVE OR UNATTRACTIVE, asked me out. The first time I was asked out was earlier this year, in 2020 by a classmate in med school.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 04:34 AM
25

*Raises hand* I started using reddit back in 2011 and was active on incel/femcel subs at the time as a teen. Guys were surprised then, and they're surprised now that there are women out there, even fairly decent-looking women, who don't get asked out. I used to share pics on reddit back then (on very old, now deleted accounts) and was told "it must be my personality." I was mousy, had extremely low self-esteem and social anxiety that was triggered by men in particular. I also dressed quite modes…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/20 07:38 PM
2

This seems like a "what came first? the chicken or the egg" kind of issue. From my perspective, the need to beautify ourselves came from the patriarchal idea that a woman's value is tied up in her physical beauty. If we believe we're only valued and acknowledged due to our physical appearance, then out of that comes a billion dollar industry that's made to sell these cosmetic products to women. I personally don't enjoy makeup and don't want to use it. I'm comfortable with how I look without it, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/20 07:08 PM
2

I get what you're saying but I don't know what you want women to do about it. At this point, even 10s are wearing makeup regularly. Women regularly wear makeup in both professional and casual settings. Women who wear makeup are seen as more trustworthy and friendly (multiple studies show this). So a 10 wears makeup and is now a 12, an 8 who wears makeup is now a 10, and on and on down the line. If say a random 6 decides not to wear makeup, she's shooting herself in the foot, since both men and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 11:05 PM
0

Yeah honestly I’d say a lot of “toxic” habits are in direct response to dealing with men’s shit for a long period of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 10:00 PM
3

Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 07:27 PM
1

Yeah this is good. I was gonna probably say too much in the initial text, but this seems better.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 06:42 PM
4

Dude...I've seen guys rate super models as 7s here
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 06:00 PM
5

I mean, you're kinda right. Women don't really call each other out (at least not the ones I've had). Some of us exhibit some pretty toxic behavior and probably deserve a stern talking-to. But women tend to be a lot more sensitive to criticism for whatever reason. The best we can do is support our friends through their bad decisions and gently offer advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 05:56 PM
1

Are you saying all good-looking men are Chad? Because that's not what I mean at all. I'm talking about the guy who pursues lots of casual sex with women, with no intention of making it anything more. Like I haven't met a man who fucks for sport who was a kind, helpful, considerate man. They're pretty much all trash. Now, there are good-looking men who are very good people at heart. They usually are not the type to use women for sex. If a woman is interested in them and they're not into her, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 05:08 PM
0

This makes no sense. They are vile for treating women poorly, regardless of "supply of female". There are attractive men who don't lead women on or use women for sex. And then there are others who use their attractiveness to build a harem of women who are usually more invested than they are. It's fine if most women are just not worth it to him. But you can also leave those women alone and not pursue them for sex. They purposefully do this for their own pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 05:03 PM
1

Well I was the one who broke things off. He wanted to keep seeing me. EDIT: just FYI, he did reach out soon after, but I indicated I was not interested at the time
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 04:57 PM
3

Thinking of contacting a guy I dated back in July. I had to cut things off because school stress was getting to be too much and things have finally slowed down. We left the door open at the end. He told me I was welcome to contact him if I wanted to date again. Any advice on how I should do it? I don't want him to feel like he was shelved or anything like that. I also don't want to say anything too cheesy if he's with someone else now
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 10:00 AM
17

I actually agree with you partly as a woman. Chads have been some of the most vile people I've seen. They treat women as objects of pleasure not people with feelings and seem to treat dating as more of a hobby because they can. But I'd argue that men at every level can be misogynistic in their own way - non-Chads just get away with much less. That is, non-Chads have to be nicer to get what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 09:55 AM
3

Yeah, I get that. I think it's important we remind ourselves that that really sexually successful guy may not have the perfect life. There's also the issue of something being so easy to achieve that it loses meaning. So like, if a Chad just gets easy sex all the time, he just starts to value it less and less until it's nothing to him. Reminds me of Russell Brand who's talked about his sex addiction in the past. I think many who "fuck for sport" probably have some deep-seated insecurities/issues.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 09:47 AM
6

Tbh, as a very average woman I'm jealous that I can't be a Chad too. Like how awesome does his life of unbridled debauchery sound and without the pesky attachment/emotional stuff that comes with being a woman? I had met one recently (not a dating situation) and he just seemed to be living on a whole different planet. It's like he had never experienced failure, or heartbreak, or depression or isolation. Maybe it was a front, who knows? But his life just seemed so perfect - he had tons of friends …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 02:22 AM
1

Yeah... no. The culture has shifted to the point where this is the norm. Honestly, Gen Z barely knows how to date without the apps. All my friends and coworkers who are single are on the apps. Every one (pre-COVID, I mean, but some of them still use it). Even the ones who are now dating people they know from offline were on the apps at one point. I do think there are aspects that are getting worse about it, but like someone else said - you can't put the genie back in the bottle. You can either t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 02:07 AM
2

I was told a lie that I'd be more desirable to men if I was a virgin. Nobody told me that those were only the traditional, possibly misogynistic type of men who cared about those things (i.e. not a guy I could ever marry). The thing is, I was never going to be desirable to the men I wanted anyway. Virginity didn't help my dating experiences. Might as well have just had some fun along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 04:30 PM
3

But that fits into what I'm saying. These guys weren't going to date me regardless of my N-count... therefore the N-count didn't matter except for maybe protecting me from these men. It's not like I became more desirable to them as a partner because of my virginity.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 04:26 PM
7

Is there a typo here?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 05:54 AM
2

Speaking as someone with an N of 1, I don't want anything too excessive in my man. Something like 20+ makes me think he fucks for sport, which is deplorable to me, considering he probably didn't really treat all those women like human beings. Max I could do is like 5. I'd prefer if he was exclusive with those partners, but I wouldn't mind if he had like 1 FWB or something. But here's the thing - guys with high N-counts don't really like me so it doesn't matter. The only guys who pursue me are lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 05:45 AM
1

Say it louder for the boys in the back!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 05:28 AM
1

you were inspired by my post :) To answer your question, besides the obvious self-improvement stuff, I'd say you do have the option of lowering your standards to fuck someone casually. not sure how low you can go though, since I'm not you. What's interesting is that some women can become more attracted to a man when he's indifferent towards them (not saying they're quality women), so there is that edge you have if you're looking for something strictly casual. Or hire an escort, which is probably…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 05:27 AM
46

Honestly no one gave a shit when I was a virgin. Y'all act like it's such a respectable thing, meanwhile the guys I dated thought it was fucking weird that I was a virgin at 25. I could see it in their eyes. They were freaked out. Not one said it was cool, or that they respected me for it or that it made them more attracted to me. The only guy who seemed into it was a sociopathic, misogynistic assh*le. No thanks. I've been scammed by conservatism and religion. I could have had a grand old time o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 05:08 AM
1

So hypergamy was not expected upon OLD's inception? It makes sense, but for some reason I never thought that people didn't really consider it as a phenomenon before OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 04:59 AM
0

Would you rather have a woman who was only with you because she was dependent on you socially and financially? Because that's what it was like before modern times.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 04:57 AM
0

Uhh... any women here who can't be friends with guys? I'm afraid I'll lead on the unattractive, single ones, afraid that the hot ones think I like them, and feel awkward about getting too close to guys with girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 04:42 AM
1

Enquiring minds want to know - how'd you do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 04:51 PM
4

What do you mean? Are these hot girls dating equally hot guys? If that's what you meant, then yes, they seem to be dating guys around their level of attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 04:24 AM
5

How does this explain super attractive women getting ghosted or dumped? If it's really all about attractiveness, we wouldn't see this happening. I can post examples if you like, but these hot women are all over TikTok talking about their experiences and it doesn't seem like they get handed commitment that easily either. The girls in happy relationships seem to be more middle of the road in terms of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 03:00 AM
2

Yep. Cute Beckies and Stacies have access to the cock carousel. Chads can be pretty discerning too. I've seen most Chads have sex with their cute (definitely not ugly) and popular female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 02:58 AM
1

Thank you. I feel like people misinterpet that study all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/20 02:01 AM
1

Yeah, this is along the lines of what I see out in the real world. Guys want sexually available women. Guys never wanted me (for sex or a relationship) when I was reserved, religious and not confident. Once I fixed those issues and began to desire sex more, I was also more desired in turn.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/20 01:59 AM
1

This can all apply to men too. Men with high n counts are also impulsive, potentially can't delay gratification, love attention from women who want to have sex with them, and they also love the ego boost that they get from their friends respecting them for it... As for swinging and cheating - yeah guys do that stuff too
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/20 01:58 AM
2

You're clearly a rare breed among these parts. So I'm assuming even for LTRs, you want a high n-count woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/20 01:10 AM
2

Would love to see your spicy takes!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 10:37 PM
2

Hmm, what seems problematic is that they made an assumption instead of talking to the woman about it and then judged her on something they could have just asked about months before. Sounds pretty toxic to me It reminds me of a reddit post where a guy overheard his fiancee's friends talking about her "wild" phase in college and then he accuses his fiancee about lying because he assumed based on her vibes that she was more selective with her sex partners. It's not lying and it's not betrayal if yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 10:37 PM
7

Yeah I've seen the same as you. I was always a bit more prudish, studious, and did not present myself as sexually available, and guys were definitely not chasing after good girls like me. They wanted the sexy OF type of girls to lock down. I'm sure their number was higher than mine. Many of my friends in LTRs have N-counts around 5 or more. The girls who are struggling? The quiet ones. The reserved ones. The serious workaholic ones. I'm sure they would be very loyal and good girlfriends, but it …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 10:22 PM
6

A friendly sex worker who I assume does it out of altruism instead of money
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 10:18 PM
4

You could say the same about PPD as a whole lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 10:15 PM
2

oh what was that thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:55 PM
7

Honestly, I think women might get judged for C too. They could be labeled as "asexual" or be seen as unadventurous and boring in the bedroom when they do decide to get into an LTR. Of course, depends on the guy she's with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:47 PM
24

I do agree. I think women will be judged either way. They should just do whatever enhances their life the most
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:37 PM
5

So I guess you could assume that the people who it matters to the most will likely get that conversation out of the way early on?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:26 PM
6

I've actually heard of sex surrogates and some of them are women. Might be some form of payment involved though, I'm not sure. But yes, the ordinary woman will not be doing this unfortunately :( I appreciate you being honest, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:16 PM
0

She can't get into a relationship with a man she finds attractive. Let's say she's overweight, not too attractive, or lacks social skills or doesn't have the right hobbies, possibly from a lower income background. Maybe a single mom, maybe has mental health issues, etc. Basically all the reasons real-life women may struggle with gaining commitment from a guy they find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:13 PM
5

thanks for the response. What do you mean by "enlightened soul"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:08 PM
4

Yes, to be honest when I was dating regularly, it never came up. I had nothing to share anyway. Even talking about exes is considered a faux pas in early stages of dating, so guys were less inclined to talk about it. I still don't know the details of guys' sexual or dating history. It would sometimes come up in conversations - i.e. "who'd you go to Cambodia with" "oh, my ex" but that was pretty much it. And it seems like down the line, when things get more comfortable and you may talk about the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 09:06 PM
6

I personally do A and D too. Most of my friends do A or C. But I wonder if I would be more into casual sex, if there wasn't such a stigma surrounding it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 08:55 PM
3

This is hilarious, thanks for sharing
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 08:52 PM
5

Sexual needs goes beyond just orgasming though, particularly for women who it's harder for. This post is assuming that women do have sexual needs that they are trying to satisfy through casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 08:51 PM
2

douse themselves in deer piss Now there's something I haven't heard before
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 08:47 PM
11

I watch porn sometimes (I try to avoid it because I find it's exploitative, but I have my moments of weakness) because I'm horny, but I'm single, not interested in casual sex, and too busy for a relationship. If I meet a guy who is watching porn for similar reasons, then I would be okay with that. If a guy is getting sex from me though and we're in a committed relationship, I wouldn't appreciate it if he watched porn to get off. I'd rather he contact me instead. In fact, I wouldn't understand wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 08:14 PM
1

"Couldn't keep a LTR" Yup. As expected, y'all only blame women for an LTR failing. There is such a possibility as a mutual break up (things like moving away from each other or realizing certain values don't align anymore) or a man mistreating a woman once he realizes he's got her locked down. Keeping a man is not only a woman's responsibility. A man has his own agency and freewill, and from what I've observed, they are not afraid to exercise it, particularly when they feel comfortable enough in …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 05:53 PM
2

This is interesting because I find men and women have different definitions of HVM and HVW. The classic FDS definition of HVM is the following: kind, considerate, loyal, good-looking, charming, has a good job, and is eager to please in bed. It seems like PPD/TRP's definition of HVM is more like a Chad-type - someone who is good-looking and is able to have a lot of casual sex, despite not having much else going on (i.e. his job doesn't matter as much or his personality). There are differences in …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 05:46 PM
4

Why not? 10 is incredibly high. There are plenty of women who have less than 10 sexual partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 05:33 PM
2

Oh great. I love when people idealize virgin women here. Like have you met one? Most of them are either super religious, have poor social skills and/or they're unattractive, or dealing with serious body image and self-esteem issues. Believe me, you do not want them as much as you think you do. I would know since I was a virgin till 25 and most of my friends were female virgins at one point. Healthy, well-adjusted women who like sex will be having sex - usually within a few LTRs by 25, combined w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 05:31 PM
0

To be fair, most people who spend an inordinate time on reddit, especially dating subreddits, are probably not doing so hot socially. My story as a woman on this subreddit if you're curious: I have male friends IRL who are very interested in me. They will try to invite me over or suggest a fun activity we could do together or offer to help if I need it. I'm not interested in dating right now, so I keep them at arm's length. Occasionally I will hang out with them in groups, however. I've done onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 01:16 AM
0

Hey if you have the time, could you DM me more info about how to find this online?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 09:22 PM
2

Question: where do you get access to these drugs (friends? third parties?)? I've been wanting to get more into recreational drug use but my friends are pretty straight-edge. There was one classmate who knew a guy who could get me shrooms and that's still the only drug I've tried other than MDMA and weed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:46 PM
3

I haven't seen extremely sexually successful guys in the 5-6 range, but yeah, I've noticed that sociable fun guys (7-10) are the ones who are getting the most casual sex. These guys can even be short or average height and come from all different races, mostly white though. The guys who get the most sex are the go-getter, confident, fun types who are also attractive. They're definitely making some effort. Maybe the incels here don't see that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:39 PM
1

Sure. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k0vsb6/cmv_in_these_modern_times_we_will_see_fewer_women/
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 04:53 PM
1

What have you personally observed? It's weird because this random study goes against everything I've seen IRL and it's published in a weird journal. The hot guys usually didn't want anything to do with the ugly girls, let alone have sex with them. Maybe it's like 9s having sex with 7s that they're referring to? I could believe that. There is also this study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513814000348 that claims (at least in the abstract) that more attractive women h…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 04:52 PM
1

Yeah this is what I thought but the study they cited took place at Notre Dame and the average age of participants was 21.5, apparently.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 04:00 PM
6

Yeah, I've seen that study around. It's just that I personally haven't observed those findings much for whatever reason. My less attractive friends settled down pretty early with unattractive guys (i.e. guys at their level or a bit lower) and the hot ones fucked around until they found someone they liked enough. There was maybe one girl in my group who would fit the description of "unattractive woman with high N-count." Her only boyfriend was a guy out of her league and it was short-lived. The o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 09:00 AM
6

I'm not advocating for it. It doesn't seem like rocket science. They're just like... lying with specific intent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:39 AM
6

Does anyone know why there's such a disconnect on the apps among the genders? It seems like there should be just as many women as men on the apps. Are men just more desperate to date? Are single ladies more likely to hang around in the real world hoping for something to "just happen"?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:12 AM
7

Ughh thank you for reminding me why I left Islam
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:10 AM
6

You lie. "You're really beautiful. You have no idea what your smile can do" - said to a girl who is average or below average and does not hear that often. "I fall in love really easily" - said to a girl you intend to only see casually to string her along Keep her at a distance. Don't text her for weeks and text her "I miss you" when you want to see her. Another good one is "I had a dream about you." more lies. It's really easy if you're naturally a piece of shit. If it's hard for you, that's a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:09 AM
8

Every woman I knew who enjoyed casual sex in college was charming, beautiful, and confident herself. They all settled down at some point, but not before having their fun. The fact that these women had access (even just sexual) to the men shows you that they're not average or below average like PPD claims. It's a myth that guys are having casual sex with women way below them. That might be some of them, but most guys who are fucking girls in college are fucking girls within their own social circl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 05:04 AM
1

Yeah I made a post about this a couple weeks ago. The beta provider has become obsolete for those women with stable jobs of their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/20 04:42 AM
0

The article itself mentions rising rent, alluding to the fact that this could be related to economic insecurity. They also mention dark triad women as being more likely to do something like this. From my (classist) perspective, it seems like a totally pointless thing to do. Not to mention, most women are not even doing this. Even this article mentions at most it's 30% of women and that's assuming the studies are legitimate and researchers got a sample size that adequately represented the populat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/20 12:38 AM
4

There's a difference between getting free lunches at work or free company swag and a "free" meal on a date. I'd rather just not eat at all than waste time getting ready for a date when I'm not even attracted to a dude just so I could eat the food he bought me. It makes no logical sense. Like women do not think like that - "heh, what a schmuck. I'm gonna make him buy me a steak dinner and bounce." Most women's first inclination when they're not attracted to a guy is to get up and leave to go home…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/20 12:23 AM
2

Can someone explain where the idea that women want to date men for free meals came about? I see it satirized on TV all the time - the poor hapless male protagonist goes on a dating app and schedules a date, only for the woman to clearly only be interested in the food ("Master or None" and "The wedding year" from the female perspective comes to mind). It seems like total fiction to me and I'm shocked people believe in this. Or maybe it's a way for unattractive men to cope with the fact that a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 11:40 PM
3

Physical traits: long, dark hair and a beard. Height: 5'8'' or so to 5'11''. I don't like guys over 6 foot because they intimidate me. Non-physical: Style. I like a little feminine flair in a guy. Just a little suggestion of femininity in the way they cross their legs or make an expression or dance to music. I LOVE playfulness in a guy. I want you to joke around (not at my expense unless we know each other well enough), smile, keep it lighthearted, and enjoy the present moment... Going hand-in-h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 10:33 PM
3

yeah, true, and I think in these cases, even if the woman is confident and attractive, she will not get commitment from the guy because of circumstances out of her control. Guys seem more inclined to string a girl along to get attention and sex, even if they don't see her as long term material. Girls don't typically do that. For example, if they want to settle down with a particular type of man, they'll usually try to date that type. I think this is where the confusion lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 10:25 PM
4

Here are a few reasons women get pumped and dumped 1) they're choosing the badboy/f-ckboi types who generally don't want LTRs instead of the good, respectful ones who do 2) they're going for someone who doesn't see them as their long-term "type" (i.e. dude wants to settle down with a Jewish girl, and the girl is non-Jewish or dude wants to settle down with a fellow doctor/lawyer or something). This is tricky because guys are not always honest until they get what they want from a woman. 3) They h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 05:28 PM
3

lol, well he never got in my pants, so I guess this tactic didn't work. But yes, he was manipulative so I wouldn't put it past him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/20 05:01 PM
20

I have definitely been shamed for being a virgin until I was 25. I was shamed by the guy who was my first kiss, in fact. He told me I was "probably asexual" for not having had sex yet, despite me telling him I was religious. He also seemed to think it implied I was "weird" or crazy. Women who aren't virgins are also more judgmental of me. Young people are under an insane amount of pressure to have sex or be looked at as someone attractive and desirable. I felt pressured since I was 15/16.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/20 03:42 AM
0

Misogyny and male entitlement are alive and well and the patriarchy is thriving as always. You refuse to see it because men are the main beneficiaries and any slight deviation away from that (i.e. giving women equal treatment and opportunities) is seen as a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/20 03:02 AM
-5

This is definitely not the reason. Nice move trying to blame feminism for men's problems. As for the examples you listed, part of the reason they even made the news is because these stories so rare, and clearly ridiculous and obnoxious. No sane man is going about in total fear of women laughing at his pain. No sane man genuinely fears a woman killing him and it's ludicrous to suggest that. No sane man says to himself, "You know what? I'm going to give up my spot/job to a woman." That's not what'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/20 02:32 AM
2

You don’t need a BB if you’re making 6 figures yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/20 04:25 PM
1

Don’t worry, I’m not settling for anyone I’m not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 03:35 PM
1

Yeah... that’s the point. The question is asking if we’ve ever been in a AF/BB situation
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 03:34 PM
1

True. that was a big part of it, in retrospect. Guy #2 made me feel desired immediately and Guy #1 made me feel like I wasn't good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 04:27 AM
6

Well I went on a date with a guy who I thought was perfect LTR material - he was in a similar career and same ethnoreligious background. However, he told me he wanted something casual after our date, but I didn't feel the kind of strong physical attraction to him that I would need for casual sex, so I turned him down. About a week later, I went on a date with a guy who was totally wrong for me. He was the wrong religion, we didn't seem to click very well, but the physical chemistry was great and…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 11:55 PM
2

I'd say we were around equal in terms of physical attractiveness. I didn't feel like they were out of my league or anything. One of them worked out a lot though and had a great body. The others were normal or thin. I'm naturally pretty thin, but I do work out semi-frequently for cardiovascular benefits. They all had solid jobs, but I'd say I still had a better career path than them (medicine). I actually prefer guys with jobs that allow more work-life balance, so I don't care too much about what…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 11:42 PM
2

If they were slightly less attractive, but more confident and sexually aggressive, it would have helped them. If they were downright unattractive, then I wouldn't be dating them at all. Just to be clear, though, this is my opinion. Other women may have a different answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 08:41 PM
6

Yeah I honestly don't know what planet these people are living on. It's possible these women are the only ones available to them in the dating pool, which is why they erroneously believe all women are like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 06:28 PM
2

Some guys waited until the third date to kiss me. Others seemed to be waiting for me to invite myself over to theirs (this one guy would ask me after every outing - "so where do you want to go now?"). And one thing I thought was sweet but also a turn-off, was when one guy asked me for permission before kissing me. They also were very careful about giving me compliments. One thing I like about sexually aggressive guys is they make me feel hot. They complimented my body, called me beautiful. These…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 06:25 PM
1

I'm finally getting to the point where I'm accepting marriage probably isn't for me because of who I am as a person (I put my needs first, always), but it's nearly impossible for women to make that decision because we're so heavily socialized to want lifelong commitment with a man (along with children, of course). We're also socialized to believe that women who don't commit to a man as being emotionally unstable or "damaged" in some way. I think a lot of women are just tired of constantly negoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 05:11 AM
2

26F, I had sex 2 times and just made out a handful of times, so you're doing better than me. But I'm also working 70 hour weeks which drains me. I basically dropped the guys I was seeing around July, partly due to COVID and partly due to my schedule.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 04:50 AM
6

I personally am pretty hypergamous. I'd say the TRP assessment fits me well, except for the fact I don't have sex with guys to the levels they speak of. In fact, I've only had sex a couple times. If I was less shy and grew up less religious, I could see myself being the type to ride the CC or at least have sex with more cute guys. Most of my friends are the complete opposite of TRP's "AWALT" definition, though, which makes sense since I grew up very conservative, so my friends are more like who …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 04:35 AM
5

I think a lot of these problems at least partially stem from socioeconomic inequality. If people had equal opportunities for education, well-paying jobs, and access to good healthcare, I think everyone would be a little less stressed and more capable of being good partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 04:14 AM
3

This reminds me of the study that claimed that casual sex thrived at colleges where there were more women than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/20 03:28 AM
9

Personally, I feel better about myself when I "conform" in some ways (do my hair/makeup, follow the latest trends, engage in the right sports, consume the right media, etc). Why? Because people treat me better and give me what I want more often. As long as you don't go into a depression for it, I think it's fine. It's part of living in a society. As for career, I really don't think it's a good idea to compromise on that since it sticks with you. That being said, I really hate being a med student…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 03:53 AM
14

Also some of the most sexually successful guys I know are in some kind of STEM discipline, granted they are also very good-looking and cool, so the whole "nerd" stereotype doesn't apply to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 03:47 AM
3

I'm comfortable with who I am and my own timeline. If it bothers someone else, I guess that's their problem
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 03:01 AM
2

Well I only started dating at 25 because I grew up in a cult-like religion so there's a lot of things that are not obvious to me. A lot of people on PPD want to say that all attractive guys want casual sex, and I haven't found that to be true. Most of the guys I've dated wanted relationships with me. As for your claim that I have failed as a female: I don't determine my worth based on how successful I am dating and I don't think any woman should.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 02:33 AM
3

Thanks for contributing to my post, but tbh this seems a bit weird to me. You're talking about your FWB like he's your boyfriend or husband. I don't think he really fits into this category I'm talking about. Fucking his FWB is still casual sex. I don't know you two, but typically FWB is not a serious relationship and still counts as casual sex. I'm talking about the guys who go above and beyond to do things for their partners when they could probably get away with casual sex if they "rebranded" …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 01:34 AM
1

Normally, the act of asking is a turn-off for me, but yeah my plan when I start dating again is to do exactly this. I'll likely just clearly communicate what I want early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 01:17 AM
2

I guess we have a similar way of thinking about these things. Apparently it's not very popular! That's a good thing though. I'd prefer there to be genuine romantics out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 01:00 AM
2

Not trying to tame anyone. I'm a good judge of character and am able to drop the "bad" guys on the first date, regardless of how attractive they are. I only have dated and spent quality time with genuinely good men. I realized though that if I'm not hot for them, what's the point? It will just end up hurting both of us in the end. So now I just don't date (or have sex with) anyone. As I get older, I'm hoping things change, like you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 12:54 AM
2

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Makes a lot of sense! As for the physical stuff, it seemed more like these guys were waiting for the right time or were afraid of how I might react rather than trying to avoid it specifically. This is based on some of the conversations I've had with them. However when things did get physical, they were very much into it. I was the one to end things in each situation, so I guess I'll never know how truly attracted to me or not they were.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 12:26 AM
2

Yeah that could be it. I would prefer someone who's a little more sexually aggressive and is more stylish/fashionable, and extroverted. But these guys are usually not interested in relationships, and that's what I would prefer, so ??? I haven't dated in months because I don't like traditional dating, but it seems that that's all that's available with genuinely good guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 12:01 AM
5

Yes, I can see this. It's a good way to put it
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:29 PM
3

Thanks for answering the question! I do think priorities are different among men when it comes to this though. Some men preferred to be seen as stable, long-lasting quality dudes and others prefer the alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:19 PM
4

Yes I do agree. It's likely psychologically better to be alone and still be able to be yourself as opposed to facing the constant pressure trying to be someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:14 PM
-2

I'm talking strategy though. A guy can be looking for more than a "wet warm hole" in more ways than one. Why don't guys work with the strategy that may give them more options to choose from?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:10 PM
1

I didn't mention this up above, but it seems like they could be more successful with both relationships and casual sex if they changed things up a bit. For example, if they acted a bit more aloof during the early stages or were a little more sexually aggressive, a woman may eventually be more receptive towards them initiating the exclusivity talk because she's more attracted to him. Yes, they lose some of the more prudish women with this strategy, and a man who wants someone more conservative is…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:07 PM
1

Maybe, but that's not the point. In terms of raw attraction, she's simply not going to be as attracted to him due to what he represents. If a woman was truly attracted to a guy, do you think she'd be able to resist him so easily? I'd say no.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 07:56 PM
1

Honestly, I'd go so far to say that being a doctor or a med student could even hurt your chances of casual sex. For casual sex, most women want a guy with natural good looks, fashion sense, and a laidback and fun attitude. That usually is the direct opposite of guys in medicine. Doctors and med students represent stability and rigidity. Yes, this is very attractive to women who are looking for someone to settle down with. But casual sex? Not really. Stability isn't hot by itself. Of course, ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 07:14 PM
2

Things like slow-fading or ghosting or harsh breakups just contribute to the issues. I think if the break-up or "dumping" is initiated with empathy and acknowledgement of the other person's emotions (this is especially important after sex has been had), things may be better and people may more easily move on. Unfortunately, a lot of people are too afraid to openly discuss feelings and emotions, especially those surrounding sex. It's getting to be kind of a shameful thing. Like "oh you fell for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 06:59 PM
7

I agree with you as a woman. Although, it should be mentioned that there are some women who are more emotional than others for whatever reason. For example, inexperienced women will fare worse in the scenario you mentioned because that might have been their first "love" or first sexual partner. One of my friends described her break-up with the guy who took her virginity then dumped her as "one of my limbs being torn off." As an emotional woman myself, I find dating quite taxing. It's hard to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 06:35 PM
1

no, it's not pass/fail for our year, unfortunately. I think that's for the class below us
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/20 09:36 PM
1

he was thinking ortho but his step 1 score isn't high enough :/ So now maybe psych
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/20 03:47 PM
11

who said she was going to be alone? She can hang out with her friends and join plenty of women's groups available
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 09:58 PM
10

For centuries women were forced to sleep with men they weren't attracted to so they could secure those resources. Now with their own resources, they don't have to sleep with or entertain anyone they aren't attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 08:53 PM
15

Sounds pretty nice actually. I heard it's a thing in Japan.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 08:48 PM
4

See, this I understand. I think it's dishonest to say that average men can't do it. They just have to put more effort in and maybe dangle the relationship carrot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:56 PM
3

why the quotes lol? Is this not your work?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:53 PM
4

Well they already are, so I wouldn't be surprised if the trend continued
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:29 PM
7

Yeah I thought it was obvious
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:14 PM
3

They just don't. I don't see it out in the real world, so as far as I'm concerned it doesn't exist. If a man is nice to you, he wants something from you. Doesn't mean he respects you. Rarely, you will see a man lauding a woman on her achievements (i.e. scientific, financial or mathematical). But as far as having respect for women they are fucking or in a relationship with? Nope. I don't believe it exists. But tbh it's not their fault. Society doesn't socialize men to respect women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:10 PM
6

Generation Z is much more cynical though. While I'm sure most people will still seek out companionship and loving partners, we'll likely have shorter term relationships, more failed marriages/engagements, and just in general, those things will last a shorter amount of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 07:01 PM
1

Well I deleted "having sex is average" before I saw your response because I knew you'd latch onto that. I do still think it is. Again, we can agree to disagree. There's no way 60-70% of men are celibate for years at a time. (EDIT: tbh, I'm not considering single men over say, 40) If it makes you feel better about yourself, then sure, men who are not having sex or having very little sex are average.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:59 PM
12

I said the "former of which" - i.e. I was referring to sperm donation
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:55 PM
9

I honestly think it comes down to respect. Women don't respect men who are broke or lazy, therefore they can't feel sexual attraction towards them. Most men don't respect women anyway and her having a better career will just emasculate you anyway. Hence you see the differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:55 PM
7

I mention sperm donation. It's pretty affordable compared to the other options. Also, I can see people creating cheaper options in the future. Maybe something done under the table or with legal contracts that absolve a man of his responsibility towards a child even if it's not a sperm donor situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:47 PM
4

You say that average guys have more of a shot at sex within a relationship than casual sex, but then you say that average guys don't even really have a good shot at a relationship in the first place. So then why are we even talking about them? They clearly are closer to the incel category than the guys who are getting a mix of aborted relationship sex/relationship sex. Like if we think in terms of tiers: tier 1: super hot, model-type looks, good job - top 2-5%, whatever. They're not really relev…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:44 PM
11

Yes, and I addressed this above. Women who want children but haven't found a man they want to commit to will go through sperm donation or adoption, the former of which is quite affordable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:29 PM
9

Let me make it really simple for you: If a woman has her own gold, it means she's worked hard for it and been ambitious in a way to get it. She has her own resources at this point. She meets a guy who does not have his own resources. To her, this means he is not ambitious or as hard-working as she is. She wants someone more like her. Therefore, she rejects him. If she meets a guy who does have his own resources, this indicates to her that this guy is hard-working and ambitious and cares about ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:27 PM
10

You simply don't know what the experience of being a woman is like. No matter how much I assure you I went into my career because I wanted financial stability in my life, my own income, and the desire to not have to rely on anyone else to provide food and shelter for me, you're not going to believe me because you've already made up your mind about these things. I've wanted a good career before I even started becoming interested in men. There's an insecurity involved in women who are being provid…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:20 PM
2

No, I'd actually say these are more recent developments. Talk to anyone who's dated in the 90s or early 2000s. The climate has definitely changed. Fewer people want long-term commitment to the point where they're lowering their standards in order to achieve it. While some fringe women did go their own way in the 70s/80s, they were ostracized for it and likely seen as social pariahs. The differences now are that it's more accepted, more women are opting out of having children/marriage, and they h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:10 PM
11

Yeah, it's hilarious and I think it says a lot about the type of women who are available to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:10 PM
7

So you're saying that the average man has only two options essentially: celibacy or sex within in a relationship. You do know that most women are not FDS-type and won't wait until exclusivity to have sex right? Then what do you call it when things break down in the early stages of dating after the two people have already had sex? Like I said, it's more common than you think. And if I misunderstood and you're actually saying that average guys don't date consistently, then I guess I would say I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:58 PM
8

This is how most average dudes get casual sex: they're seeing a girl with possible LTR in mind, they probably have sex by the 4th or 5th date, and then either one of them changes their mind. It's rather common among people who consistently date. Casual sex does not always mean consistent or FWB-type sex. Even a lot of women admit to being more selective about physical appearance for casual sex partners than for long-term partners. Personally this doesn't apply to me or my friends, but I'm sure f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:48 PM
4

It's more common than you think. Also, it's safe to say we hang out in different crowds. There are both men and women I've met who prefer casual relationships. The funny thing is, the friend I spoke about above is a classmate of mine in med school. He's a future doctor and this girl doesn't want a relationship with him. I feel like part of the reason he likes her so much is because he can't have her. He has his own issues though. Maybe she wants someone who can better cater to her needs in a rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:31 PM
8

Casual sex does not mean consistent sex. They'll maybe get laid a few times a year if they're trying. It's still casual sex. Guys who are completely celibate are rarer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:25 PM
6

Yeah, this is more along the lines of what I mean. The culture is changing. People want to feel "good" and "happy" all the time and work less on themselves/others for the sake of a relationship. If an LTR means things will fizzle out eventually, fewer people will be inclined to go for it. More and more women (i'd possibly even say people in general) these days don't want to stay in shitty relationships and they finally have the social freedom to opt out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:23 PM
16

LOL right? Also why in the hell would a woman with a good career want to date a bum/broke loser? In what universe does that make sense? People want to be with people similar to them. That's all it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:17 PM
3

What do you mean? Could you elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:13 PM
9

You're thinking about incels. Most average men are able to get casual sex, usually through short-term or early-stage dating (i.e. "dating around sex"). Women will have sex with them maybe to just get their rocks off and then leave them because they feel they deserve better. Talk to any single guy who consistently dates. Average ones will have some stories about getting sex a couple times but no LTRs from some women. One friend of mine told me that there's a girl he's seeing who he's interested i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:12 PM
13

I disagree with you. It's a common misconception that women are gold-diggers because they want a husband who is making a steady income. Women don't want men with money in order to spend it. Women want men with money because it's an indicator of status. They care more about status than money any day of the week. And women with their own careers want men who are similar to them. They want ambitious men because they themselves are ambitious. They want men with stable jobs because they have stable j…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 05:04 PM
5

This is the right answer. It would fix a ton of issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 04:57 PM
5

Yeah, agreed. I'm not saying that they all saw it coming, but the others were understanding of the fact that we were getting to know each other and in the early stages of dating so they didn't necessarily feel entitled to anything (i.e. a normal person's approach to dating).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/20 06:17 AM
64

Yeah I rejected a seemingly "sexually successful" dude and he flipped his shit. It honestly didn't make much sense to me because in my mind I was like "oh he won't care since I'm sure he has plenty of women lined up for a go" But no, his attitude was very aggressive and pushy. I ultimately had to block him. He's still the only guy I've dated who was like that when I tried to break things off. Most dudes see it coming so they're more chill about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/20 09:26 PM
2

I do think a lot of people are too obsessed with sex. It's weird. Human beings can go years without sex and they're totally fine (i.e. it's not a "need" like food and water), but it's something about *other* people having it that makes people think they need it too. Or watching couples on TV or social media makes them think of it. I wonder how many people would care as much if they didn't have society telling them that's what they should do. Like there's this whole hookup culture when you're in …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/20 12:14 AM
1

You took this out of context. Like I said, 20-25 year old women mostly prefer dating men around their own age. A 35+ dude will likely strike out repeatedly with these younger women and either keep trying until he gets one who doesn't mind the age gap or end up dating an age-appropriate woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/20 12:10 AM
2

20-25 year old women want to date men their age though. Men who are 35+ will most likely have to date women around the same age. So I'd say it does change for men as they age (i.e. gets "worse" just like it gets for women, in that they're even less likely to get what they want out of dating). If they have money and status it may help, but it's not going to be easy getting sex from a 22 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 06:44 AM
1

Yeah... also debt? like almost anyone who's gone to college or professional school is going to have some debt when they're young.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 05:08 AM
2

I don't understand half of this, but I'm totally here for it Wish there was sub with stuff like this. I agree that being interesting and having that certain something can do wonders.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 05:04 AM
2

That's simply not true though. There are both men and women who date in their 40s. Many people get second marriages in their 50s. It's silly to assume that things get shitty for women as soon as they turn 30. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that they still have the upper hand in dating until, say, 40. "oh but guys can date younger" - mm, can they really though? Maybe if they're sleazy and powerful, but most guys age just as terribly as women, if not worse. Very few men are going to age into Geo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 05:01 AM
2

Yeah not sure. I think that vindicta sub might be close but it's focused on looksmaxxing for the most part. I don't understand why women on FDS or their level up sub doesn't focus much on self-improvement. Charisma and a fun-loving, warm personality can take a girl (or anyone for that matter) very far.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 03:53 AM
2

Tbh, a "Russ" is probably gonna end up being more successful than Chads. In my experience, the guys who get the most sex are not the buffed up dudes, but the average height, cute face, fun-loving, and stylish type of dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 03:17 AM
9

This makes total sense. That's why you see guys who do gig work or who have some kind of flexible/creative job have the most casual sex. The guy who's working 50-60 hours/week is simply not going to have time or energy to pursue sex as easily. It's more than just time and energy though. The guys who girls have casual sex with tend to be more laidback, "fun-loving" type of dudes. It's hard to be fun-loving if you're a wage slave.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 03:14 AM
1

That's not even what feminism is about though? It's about women having equal rights and opportunities and also more protection from predatory people. We're obviously still the weaker, more vulnerable sex. No one's denying that. And I think it's interesting how these men are like "i get no respect or appreciation for doing these things for women so I'm not gonna do it." Like do you want a woman to fuck you for calling the cops for her? Or holding the door open for her? Like wtf. You don't do some…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/20 03:32 AM
1

Beyond opening doors for me (which women will do as well), I do get the sense that guys these days just don't care. I've had to carry loads of shit to my car and struggle with heavy furniture while people just mind their business. I have never expected a random man to help me and I never will. Although - I do remember a guy who carried my books for me in high school when I dropped them. I was a total nerd in high school so I really was surprised by the gesture. I don't get special treatment for …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/20 02:48 AM
2

Yo, what is happening?? There are literally people here who are rejoicing in the idea of not calling the police to help a fellow human being out. Things are much worse than I imagined. I figured these guys hate women, but didn't think it extended to letting a woman die when they could have easily had a chance to save her through a quick phone call.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/20 02:45 AM
1

Wow, the perfect PPD question for me and I'm a day late. I grew up in a restrictive Muslim environment. I myself was a practicing Muslim till I was 21-22, and then left Islam mentally (i.e. admitted to myself I didn't believe it was true). I still wasn't able to do things like eat pork or drink alcohol though. I was "out" to my family by 24 and this was also when I started drinking alcohol if I wanted to, eating bacon, and getting more comfortable with the idea of dating. I was only able to star…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 10:44 PM
4

Well, I come from a very particular background (conservative Muslim) which makes it psychologically impossible for me to have sex with a stranger. Most women aren't like me. However, I'd say a heavy makeout session is like my "sex on the first date." It means I find you sexually attractive, I have lust towards you, and will definitely want to have actual sex with you in the future once my body is more relaxed with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 10:33 PM
1

nobody's telling you to continue to be the stable, husband-type though. You can become the adventurous fun druggie too. Very few people are willing to throw that education, money and prestige away though to like, go travel in a van, you know? These are just examples, of course, but yeah, usually some guy who only does gig or other flexible work and has a ton of time to devote to his hobbies or travel is going to fit the "casual sex" box and not some stable accountant.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 10:31 PM
3

Exactly, the difference is just whether or not they tried. I was sexually attracted to every guy who made it past the first date. However, I can't really invite myself over for a number of reasons, so I have to wait for the guy to make the move. This might just be me, but if the first date went well and I want to see you again, I will likely go over to your place if you ask me. I won't have full-on sex, but I would hope for some intimate conversation and some making out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 09:52 PM
3

Also, there are gray areas! I feel like PPD rarely considers that. Like, it seems perfectly okay to make out on the first date and work your way up from there while also doing relationship-y things. There are ways to assess sexual compatibility without having actual sex within the first few dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 09:42 PM
2

As a woman, I agree with this for sure. There are some men - lazy, but fun druggies, for example - who are never going to be more than FWBs to a woman who takes herself seriously. On the other hand, I find it hilarious when straight-edge guys with great jobs and stable lives will complain about not being able to get casual sex. Like I get it, it's hard and you wanna feel attractive, but honestly it should be taken as a compliment. You have your shit together. Women will want more from you than j…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 09:39 PM
3

This is interesting to me and makes me wonder why the boyfriend/husband guy doesn't try to become the "sex on the first date guy" Sure, there are some guys who this wouldn't work for, but then again, those guys probably aren't boyfriend material if they're not sexually attractive in some way. Like I try to think of the guys I dated in the past. There were some who tried to at least make out at their place after the first date (which I like tbh because I want someone who's more sexually aggressiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/20 09:31 PM
1

No woman is going to stop wearing makeup, though. It's culturally and socially expected that a woman wear makeup. So I guess men will just have to accept what they've perpetuated. They've done studies that have shown women are actually treated better if they wear makeup at work. It is in a woman's best self-interest to wear makeup. It goes hand in hand with professionalism. And again, no one is getting pumped and dumped because of their makeup usage. No man will go to bed with a woman thinking s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 04:13 AM
1

You're contradicting yourself. You said makeup does make a huge difference, but here you say you can still tell the difference between a naturally beautiful woman and one who's "enhanced" her way there. That's exactly what I mean. It doesn't make that much of a difference. If it did, you wouldn't be able to tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 04:04 AM
3

It certainly does make women more attractive, but it's not going to change your bone structure or cover up nodular acne, for example. Every woman is going to look a bit plain without makeup, even the hottest ones (i.e. models) because men are so used to it. Additionally, why wouldn’t some women say she looks the same? It’s called being a hater. Women hate on each others looks because you’re in competition. You guys truly flatter yourselves too much. Women just know what's going on under the surf…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 03:58 AM
2

Even assuming for some women, if it changes their appearance drastically, how would this really affect their SMV? If every woman wears makeup and their SMV's all either go up or equalize at say, a 7-8, what difference would that make to men? Has any man ever broken up with a woman because she's not as pretty without makeup? I would say it's pretty rare. No man has gone to bed with a woman thinking she's relationship material because of her makeup and then waking up to her makeup-free face and is…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 03:50 AM
8

Haha, I should probably get off of reddit. It's giving me all sorts of dumb ideas about dating
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 02:25 AM
8

Uh, definitely not my place, but this sounds like he wants to fuck other women, but doesn't want you to feel bad about it so he's encouraging you to fuck around too...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 02:23 AM
12

I haven't dated much before. Do people in relationships really talk about N-count? My guess is you wouldn't really know the difference right? A woman could have anywhere from 5-10 partners, and the man wouldn't really know the difference. If the nerdy marriageable guy wants a virgin woman or under N=2 woman, then yeah, I guess he might be able to tell by her inexperience. Good news for him though. He could just take a chance on that nerdy girl in his field who probably hasn't had much sex either…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 02:18 AM
0

The average loss of virginity age is 16-17. That's really telling you something - the average person is definitely getting sex and starts dating in their teens. By 25, only 5% of people are virgins. However, over half of young people are single these days so that's also telling you something about the current dating climate. Most of the mid-20s guys I talk to on online apps have had sexual and romantic experiences. They're not incredibly handsome or successful or anything like that. Most of them…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/20 03:27 AM
1

No, I don't wear a hijab if that's what you're asking. I do look middle-eastern though and dress pretty modestly, even when I'm out with friends. Not sure if that makes a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 11:59 PM
2

Is that really possible??
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/20 06:25 AM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/20 05:59 AM
4

The only bisexual people I know (both male and female) are in hetero relationships so I don't know what to say to that. I can't speak about all women because we're not all the same. There is a LOT of shit that women put up with in relationships. As for me, I just have unrealistic standards. I'm attracted to very few men, so it's hard getting dating/sex experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/20 03:21 AM
2

Really starting to hate my sexuality. Wish I could be attracted to more guys so I could get more experience. Thinking of going off my BCPs just to see if it makes a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/20 02:25 AM
1

Thanks! I guess I needed to hear that. Everyone has their own timeline and I feel like I have a good reason for not being that experienced
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:46 AM
1

I know Muslim girls like that, but I actually took Islam very seriously at the time. Also being shy and not very outgoing didn't help either. Yeah, they do. They don't know details of my life now obviously and they're still trying to get me married off, but they know I'm not religious anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:42 AM
2

Why did you wait so long if you dont mind me asking? I had a very religious upbringing and was devout all throughout college. Thought I'd get an arranged marriage and that would be it. I only had college friends who were also Muslim so it didn't leave much of an opportunity for exploring other ways of life (or for any kind of social opportunities for romance/sex). It took me a while to get comfortable enough with doing anything sexual. I left Islam at 22 and I don't think I could have had sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:36 AM
3

Well I'm a woman who doesn't plan to marry, so this doesn't sound too bad actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:26 AM
1

You didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:23 AM
2

I can see that happening. I think a lot of people just realize the culture is shifting towards casual sex, which makes getting bonded to one person look a lot less appealing (they might have FOMO) unless they want kids immediately or something. I have not noticed my late 20s friends having lots of casual sex, but a lot of them have already had those experiences in college and are kind of over it. Personally, I lost my virginity at 25 (a year ago lol) so I have a different perspective. I'd like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:22 AM
12

Honestly, I think casual sex is actually pretty hard for some women. That's not to say that it should be "respected." I don't respect men or women who have a lot of casual sex, regardless of how hard or easy it is to achieve. Just remember - there are HOT attractive white women who are getting pumped and dumped every day. What chance does a nerdy non-white woman have for example? They weren't in the right social groups because they didn't have the personality or appearance for it. They probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 01:14 AM
3

I would say the same. There's all this talk about women "hitting the wall" at 25 but I think a lot of women actually still have a good number of opportunities both for LTR and casual sex until maybe 35. At that point, they're less desirable to men interested in casual sex and the lack of dating prospects gets worse and worse. Of course, things might change with our generation who are getting married later and later or not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 12:50 AM
1

How long do you think a single woman can go on having casual sex with attractive partners for? For a woman who specifically doesn't want a relationship or marriage or kids - how long do you think she has until her casual sex prospects start significantly going downhill? I'm thinking maybe 35 for the average woman for casual sex with hot dudes. Maybe can stretch it if she takes care of herself like a female celebrity does.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 12:38 AM
2

Just trying to understand - If LTR is the goal, why do you keep women around to date casually if they don't meet your standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 10:21 PM
2

Interesting. Do you know exactly what you want with a woman (i.e. fling/STR/LTR) before the "date" you've planned?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 08:07 PM
2

Ahh, that makes sense. Most of the time it's just a mixed gender friend group that fucks each other right?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 04:04 AM
2

Is there such a thing as someone who has a high RMV but a low SMV? I was thinking about the number of times I've been approached by guys in my life. Not ONE of them asked me to come over to his place or even tried to have sex with me that night (concerts, festivals, bars, various events). They've all asked me if we could exchange numbers or IG, meet up on another day for a date, and one particularly cool guy asked me to go drone flying with him. I'm just wondering how some people even get into c…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 03:18 AM
6

To me, there's only attractive and unattractive dudes and average dudes will fit in the latter category (for me, personally). Unattractive people make great study partners, friends, rides, etc. I actively avoid attractive guys IRL because of my insecurities so I come off as rude or shy. That's just me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 04:18 AM
5

Living with introversion is fucking bullshit. I've done all I could to beat it out of me. Maybe that's not healthy, but I find that I became much more successful (professionally, socially) when I buried my stereotypical introvert traits and presented myself as an extrovert. This world isn't kind to introverts so I adapted. Now when I see another introverted person who doesn't try to be more social, it annoys me. My roommate is like this and I can't stand her. Maybe because of how much I hated my…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 03:41 AM
7

I blame my Reddit addiction for my dating/insecurity problems. I've been on reddit under various usernames since 2011. It's warped my mind in ways I've only just begun to understand. I was on the (now private) forever alone women subreddit all throughout college. I spent so much time on reddit - time that I could have spent making friends, improving myself, and participating in college events. Instead, I had this defeatist attitude about my life. I actually thought I would NEVER go on a date and…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 02:47 AM
1

is anyone concerned about STDs lol? I would think exclusive FWBs would be more common. Not sure why so many people hate monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 09:14 AM
1

No... the exclusivity from a relationship and the sex-based nature of an FWB situation is what I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 08:43 AM
1

Thanks. Your comment is encouraging. Ultimately I'd just want something primarily physical with maybe some drink dates thrown in. It's the hours-long dinner dates that I'm trying to avoid right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 07:55 AM
2

I mean, that's exactly why I'm asking for "more" than an FWB. I don't want to have to wait 3 weeks to see my sexual partner when he's finally ready to invite me over. I don't think it's too much to ask but apparently it is. I'd like more of a give and take type of situation. I'm not a selfish person. I'm considerate of other people's time and feelings and am naturally accommodating. I just want someone who's similar to me so it doesn't become a situation where my needs are being ignored but his …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 07:35 AM
1

Honestly the only men I regularly interact with IRL these days are male classmates. I've engaged in some friendly flirting with them and some platonic hangouts, but I'd rather not shit where I eat, so to speak. So... it's just the apps. Tinder's a wasteland in my area, so I was using Hinge and Bumble. Most of these dudes I match with want traditional relationships though. I mean I'm really grateful for all the nice dates they took me on (expensive restaurants, musical, arcades - all pre-covid), …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 07:30 AM
2

Honestly, how are you finding FWBs? The only guys I seem to have good enough conversations with are all looking for something very serious. Then I get sucked into 3-5 very platonic dates until I get bored and leave because ultimately I want something mainly physical. I've had one FWB in the past who was decent but I got annoyed when he only wanted to meet up when he was in the mood. He would just say he was tired anytime I was the one who was trying to initiate the meet up. I guess I'm just tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 07:20 AM
1

I'm 26 so kind of around that borderline age.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 06:50 AM
2

Yeah, it's certainly possible, but most FWBs don't lead to relationships. Besides, I feel like the guys who approach me for FWB are much more...unsavory than the guys who are more marriage-minded. Were you the one who initiated the FWB arrangement?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 06:30 AM
1

Maybe? I feel like the only guys I meet are either ones who want to get married in the next few years or guys who want to play the field and dgaf about me as a person. I just wish I could find someone who's more laidback, but respectful at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 06:25 AM
3

This sounds like you want a relationship - a sex-based one, but a relationship nonetheless. A relationship doesn't have to be either FWB or a life commitment. There are options in between. Just saying - he'd probably treat you better (better/safer sex, more respect) if the arrangement is leaning towards a relationship/monogamy. As a woman, you're also probably not going to get ghosted after sex. They seem to want it more than we do and it's rarer for guys to even get sex. If a guy gets a girl to…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 06:00 AM
1

How do you get this circle though?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 08:23 PM
2

It seems odd to be in an FWB situation more than a few years, let alone a decade. Are either of you interested in a committed relationship? Oh and TRP would probably accuse you of being hypergamous and "chadsexual" based on this :/
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 08:07 PM
1

Yeah, it's definitely possible. I'm glad you don't see things as black and white like most TRP folks. But there are still trends. More extroverted people tend to have higher N-counts because they're out more and meeting new people all the time. You yourself said that your gf is more introverted than you are, which always makes a difference. Personally, as a naturally introverted person, it takes me a lot more time to get close to someone and be able to trust them (which is incompatible with casu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 07:52 PM
0

Cool is pretty subjective, but I've made some references above as to what I think "cool" is - i.e. extroverted, adventurous, risk-taking. What is your definition of cool?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 07:31 PM
0

This comment is meaningless without any description of these girls you're talking about or the guys they're dating. There's also no way to know if they're lying or not based on what you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 07:27 PM
1

I'm a very straight-forward, aggressive person. I feel like part of the reason I'm not good at dating is because I like to be in control and that's not a lady's place in dating. Men don't feel comfortable with it at best and it turns them off at worst. They actually like being able to do little things for you and take the reins on pursuing you. I'd be 5'9'' as a guy though... but I'd like to think I'd be more successful because ambition and aggression work better for men in dating than it does f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 04:34 AM
1

Thanks for making this post because there are so many issues with this obsession with a woman's N-count. As a low N woman, this pedestalization of women like me makes me fucking laugh. Y'all actually want some boring girl who works a lot and then comes home, knits at night and possibly has no friends? Or a reddit/internet weirdo nerd? Listen, I'm happy with who I am and I like my fellow low-N/virgin friends for sure, but I'm not going to pretend they're super fun to be around. A lot of them are …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 04:08 AM
1

Your first comment (the one I replied to) made sense, but this one is really off. This has nothing to do with the "culture." Hell, I was raised in a totally different culture than American culture, and I still ended up the same place as a lot of American women. Women are attracted to a certain set of traits because of our biology. The only way I see things improving is if men are told that they need to improve in order to get women. So many men think they're entitled to women regardless of what …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 05:51 PM
3

I remember finding more guys attractive 16-24 than I do now at 26. Seriously, I used to have multiple crushes in the same class. I can't even imagine what that must have been like as I struggle to find even one good-looking guy my age now. Some guys have aged really poorly. I still get mistaken for early 20s all the time (as do many of my slender female friends), yet a lot of these guys look squarely mid-30s. Beer gut, balding, wrinkles... it's incredible. So, yes, just like people say women get…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 05:25 PM
5

This is the historical origin of dating. There's no new "movement" here. This was always the whole point of dating: working class women trying to marry up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 05:09 PM
3

Finally found someone I was attracted to after years (YEARS) of celibacy. I held on to that guy as long as I could because like you said - that dopamine rush is so rare and so intoxicating. Unfortunately, his selfishness finally pushed me to end things. And now I will probably have to wait a couple years to find that again.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 08:07 AM
6

The problem is, if you are average, women don't see you as a 6 or 7, they see you as a 4. For women 6s and 7s don't exist really. You're pretty spot-on. To be honest, most women I know don't even rate guys with numbers, because it's meaningless for us. It's typically just "attractive" and "unattractive," i.e. can he make me wet? Or not? Every time I go on a date, I hope and pray that I'll be attracted to this guy, but unfortunately most of the time I'm just not. Even casual sex is impossible for…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 08:05 AM
1

Wow what a level-headed comment
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:35 AM
1

That could really scar someone who has low self-esteem to begin with. I would not tell him the actual reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:25 AM
1

Don't worry. I wouldn't do that. The reason I asked this question is because I wanted to use some other reason instead of "I'm not attracted to you." I just gave a low-effort, polite response to his question and I think he got the message because he hasn't texted me since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:24 AM
2

Yeah, I get you, but casual sex can be really harmful for some men and women, especially more sensitive types. I just wanted to point this out because I feel like our voices are drowned out by all the high self-esteem extroverts who LOVE it. As for casual sex partners pleasing you, that's awesome and you're lucky. I've only had one casual sex partner and he didn't give a fuck after the first time we met up. Didn't bother trying to find a better dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 07:56 PM
3

So true lol. Do these people not get out a lot?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 07:17 PM
2

Yeah I'd rather not get HPV or herpes (the latter of which you can get even with a condom). It is actually a medical recommendation that people have sex in long term monogamous relationships. Not shaming you, but I feel like young women are painted this rosy picture of the CC when in reality it can be both emotionally and physically dangerous. Not to mention most of those guys don't really care to pleasure you. It's different if you're one of those women who orgasm easily, but I'm not one of tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 07:16 PM
1

I alluded to this on the date so might be able to do this
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 04:01 PM
1

omg they're children :( We really should have social skills classes for kiddos.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 06:56 AM
5

Have to reject a guy after a first date because I'm not attracted to him. What do I say? EDIT: wow actually got decent advice on PPD
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 06:42 AM
1

I'm sure it works on some women, like I said above. Some women even find it creepy, but they'll still entertain these cute guys because they want validation from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 01:43 AM
2

Yeah, this is pretty much it. I've had attractive guys try to grab me, corner me, talk to me when I don't want to talk to them, etc. They did not read the social cues that I was not enjoying it. While I admit some women may enjoy it, there's a lot of women, including me, who fucking hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 01:26 AM
2

I've found attractive guys creepy too. In fact, most of the time they're creepier than uglies because they're not used to hearing "no." I find James Franco gives off creepy vibes and based on what women have said about him, I'm not surprised.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 01:14 AM
2

I feel like i've gotten such mixed messages about this. Do guys like women who throw themselves at them? Or not? From what I've observed, I feel like the girls who initiated sex and just general contact with men were also the ones most likely to find an LTR down the line, but that could be due to other things - i.e. better self-esteem, more confidence, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:59 AM
1

Oh okay. Everyone has a personality though. Not everyone has a personality that serves them well in dating, however. There are probably girls who like watching reality shows, getting drinks with their same core group of girl friends, and maybe have some kind of artsy hobby. They have personalities, but maybe not what's deemed most "desirable" in modern dating. As for women focusing on their appearance after rejection, I have no doubt about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:58 AM
2

I think it's the social skills part that's the most difficult aspect of "leveling up" because so much of good social energy has to do with confidence and self-acceptance which isn't easy to develop. I'd say losing weight, getting rid of your acne, or doing anything in terms of looksmaxxing is actually easier than developing good social skills if you're past a certain age.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:45 AM
1

More life experience with different things and new people Yes, I agree with you. This also goes hand-in-hand with developing confidence I believe for many people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:39 AM
1

Yes, this is it! I feel like more women need to be told this because I've seen it makes a huge difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:24 AM
1

What exactly does this mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:12 AM
1

But these guys adored her. As for the race, while I knew her she dated an Indian guy, a white guy, and then a black guy. They were all pretty hot by conventional standards though - i.e. tall, chiseled face, etc. She was pretty popular in general. EDIT: In response to your edit, I don't think this is common. She may have to settle in the end, but it likely will not be in an arranged marriage. She's too outgoing for that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 12:10 AM
3

There's a lot of issues in the world, especially in America. This obsession with materialism, celebrity culture, and anti-intellectualism is getting out of hand. Not to mention various socioeconomic issues such as income inequality, lack of access to educational resources, and racism. I'm surprised that anyone is healthy in this society. Seems like the healthiest ones are the privileged ones who have always had access to good medical care, leisure time, and disposable income. The most desirable …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 11:34 PM
2

You know, I always knew I was personally hypergamous. I didn't think it was a common thing among women at all because I had my own issues I was dealing with which I mistakenly thought would get solved by dating someone "out of my league" so to speak. For example, for a long time, I was the weird kid who didn't fit in at school. Guys made fun of me and the pretty popular girls froze me out. I hated myself and I hated anyone who was like me (i.e. awkward, not cool). When I had a "glow up" I though…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 10:31 PM
1

Have you seen the movie "Hot Chick"? It's this so-bad-it's-good comedy movie starring Rob Schneider and some things I read in this sub remind me of that movie. In the movie, Rob Schneider's character switches bodies with a hot high school girl. When he's in the body, he uses his new female body to steal from men, scam men, and then gets a job as a stripper to make money. It's such a stupid movie, but I think it's clever how they showed what the average man thinks of when he says "women have it e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 09:53 PM
2

It's about standards. I knew nerdy, cringey girls in high school who paired up with nerdy, cringey dudes. Same in college. It wasn't that uncommon. It's the girls who had high af standards who ended up being single for years (i.e. me and some of my closer friends). I get disgusted really easily (i think kissing is gross for example unless it's with someone with impeccable hygiene) and most guys disgust me in some way. I'm not perfect, obviously, but I can't really do anything about how I feel ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 09:47 PM
3

Good sex wouldn't be a chore for women (i.e. with someone she's attracted to and makes the effort to please her in bed), but yes, bad sex absolutely is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 09:41 PM
5

lmao right?? Men have no idea. There's also shaving/waxing, which for hairier women can take up to an hour. It can take me 1.5 hours to get ready, and that's when I wear minimal makeup.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 09:38 PM
17

A lot of women who struggle with dating are shy or introverts. If they're not going out much and not talking to enough people, they're not going to have much to talk about with you and they're not going to be very good at conversations. They'll seem boring and dull and no matter what you say, nobody wants to be around somebody boring or dull if they can find someone else. Eventually whoever she is will get tired of her shit and seek out someone better/more exciting. I feel like my dating life im…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 09:35 PM
142

Yeah honestly that's more personality than a lot of people have
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 03:54 AM
1

I don't think I agree with you on that point. It's more being controlling than being manipulative. Doesn't manipulation involve some kind of trickery? If an insecure person doesn't want their spouse to have opposite gender friends for example, because it hurts them, and requests their spouse to oblige, I don't think that's manipulation. That's trying to control someone else. But I do agree that this would be ultimately negative for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 03:43 AM
1

My friends and I don't talk like this, but I have a mostly female friend group. Maybe men like to make these nasty jokes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 03:15 AM
2

I guess I can only speak for myself. I'm only attracted to decent people. You are right though- there are women who don't care. There are also women who have gone through trauma and see absenteeism, hot/cold behavior and neglect as "love" which is why TRP-like tactics works a lot of the time. Ultimately, I'd like to think mentally healthy, decent people are attracted to the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:34 AM
2

Yeah, what is this place? I thought it was a discussion of dating and gender dynamics in modern times. I had some free time on my hands since I'm off school rn so thought I'd check it out. But wow, this is so low. I'm genuinely taken aback. Also they're totally ignoring the fact that men with disabilities ALSO have children with "normal" women. It's not just women living life on "easy mode" whatever that means. Wtf. There are people in the world who look at what's inside of a person instead of j…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:31 AM
-1

Wow these comments are fucked up - purge week or not. What happened to you people in your lives that you think it's acceptable to say these things about disabled individuals?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:59 AM
1

I don't know much about red pill ideology. Don't they think that women should be treated as sex slaves and servants? Or at the very least like children who you should boss around because that's what they "secretly want"? No human being would feel genuinely happy with that life, men or women. I would know, since I come from a very "red pill" culture. None of the women are truly happy. They just count down the days until they die. Women don't like weak men. But there's a difference between strengt…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:51 AM
1

A person who is a contributing member of his community, well-integrated into society, treats friends and family well, and doesn't see women as objects to be conquered. That's what I mean by decent in this comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:36 AM
1

Yeah, no one's denying that looks matter. It's just not all that matters. The idea that every woman will be attracted to every "hot" guy is just false. Most of those men who can get lots of women get them because they're hot, but they're also decent people who can talk to women like they're human beings. As for your short Indian janitor dude, yeah he has no chance. Why would I pretend like he does?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:18 AM
2

The PPD/TRP idea of female sexuality is pretty flawed, and what you described is much closer. Hormones are something that are rarely ever taken into consideration. Research is coming out showing that women are attracted to different people on birth control vs off.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:11 AM
1

That makes sense, except the part about manipulation. I don't get the connection between insecurity and manipulation. Seems like they'll just make life harder for their wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:37 PM
6

Highly doubt it, but whatever helps you cope with this fucked up reality
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:28 PM
2

I don't pretend to understand male sexuality. Never mentioned that in my comment. I have some ideas, of course, but I realize I'm never going to truly understand it unless I was biologically male. The same can be said for women. You're not going to totally understand it unless you are a woman. You can look at data, statistics, and anecdotes, but it's only going to get you so far. Also, it's a cliche saying, but women are not a monolith. Somebody else definitely fucked that actor guy while I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:24 PM
1

Why does anyone even try then? Is it misguided hope?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:04 PM
1

I agree. It's not a perfect system, but at least most people get paired off in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:03 PM
1

Wouldn't you say then that a person who is sheltered from life's misfortunes would be better off in an arranged marriage situation vs modern dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 10:02 PM
1

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 08:23 PM
0

Hmm, let's discuss further. What if the insecurity is due to the fear that a partner in dating will leave them for someone better/younger/hotter? Wouldn't a fixed bond of marriage alleviate that insecurity somewhat?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:50 PM
2

Agreed. I believe that modern dating doesn't have all the solutions for everyone. There are people who are better-suited for the arranged marriage route (generally more passive, serious people from what I've seen).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:25 PM
2

I went on a date with an actor once. He had been on soap operas in my country. I started the date off attracted to him, but only 10 minutes in, I was cringing so hard at his awful jokes and lack of decorum that I actually ended the date early. First and only time I've done that. These PPD guys don't get it because they are operating with a male sexuality and trying to understand female sexuality. It's like comparing apples and oranges.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:21 PM
9

Wait, so what you're saying is that nobody benefits from this reality except for Chads and the rare attractive woman who is able to get a Chad to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 06:59 PM
2

lmao if you think FDS-type ideology doesn't exist outside of FDS. It's all over TikTok. There are hot/attractive white women who think the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 09:32 AM
3

Wow, you've summed it up perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 08:36 AM
4

This guy looks like a garden variety douche to me. In my mind, a Chad is someone who has a boyish, inviting look, is very charming, friendly, and has a high status among peers. His appeal has to do with his ability to get people to feel their guard come down with him. Not every bulked up white dude is a Chad. I think I've met one true chad in my life and he did not look like that, but he attracted almost every woman he interacted with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:58 AM
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