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CaptainWasHere Archive

View 32 posts and 295 comments by CaptainWasHere on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
307

MetaCaptainWasHere/r/TheRedPill23/11/16 07:18 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/16 08:23 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/15 04:35 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/15 02:56 PM
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Field ReportCaptainWasHere/r/TheRedPill07/03/15 03:47 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 04:36 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/16 11:07 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 08:36 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 04:40 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 03:02 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 09:49 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 03:04 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 01:23 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 08:37 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 12:31 AM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/15 05:09 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 01:58 AM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 07:10 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 10:50 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 04:05 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 01:39 AM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:45 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:28 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:25 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 07:19 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/15 08:03 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:15 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/15 03:21 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 08:07 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 10:08 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 09:02 PM
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CaptainWasHere/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/15 02:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Women don't want truly honest answers the same way that we don't. You: I know I have the biggest dick and I'm the best fuck you've ever had, right? Her: Sure are my captain. You just want her to verify a fantasy in your head, not verify the truth. (of course you never seek this validation!!) It's the same as... Her: I want you to open up to me. You never share You: (truth) I'm scared shitless baby. I have a huge meeting tomorrow that I'm stressing out about. Our bills are adding up. You spend to…
/r/TheRedPill17/12/16 03:17 PM
1

Great post man. I bet lots of guys here can relate. Keep getting better!
/r/TheRedPill30/11/16 08:10 PM
5

Why do you think that? Lots of guys make tons of cash and are beta bitches . And lots of other guys make no money and have no future but get girls every day.
/r/TheRedPill24/11/16 01:47 PM
1

There are plenty of men that aren't. And you never do it FOR sex. I'm just living my life and she's enjoying the ride.
/r/TheRedPill24/11/16 01:45 PM
1

Yeah. Gotta be for your own personal growth.
/r/TheRedPill24/11/16 10:08 AM
7

I figured someone would have that thought. I completely disagree. But draw your own line.
/r/TheRedPill24/11/16 10:08 AM
8

Nice! Welding seems so tricky to me. Jealous that you have that opportunity. Brilliant observation. Men need to be MEN again if we're going to complain about girls.
/r/TheRedPill23/11/16 09:06 PM
9

Gotta pick what works and is legal for you friend.
/r/TheRedPill23/11/16 09:04 PM
6

You already got a ton of great advice but I'm going to add some more based on my recent breakup. I'm older than you and dated a girl for nearly 3 years. We were supposed to get married this summer. I broke up with her beforehand. Most of us guys find at least one woman in our life that we just fall for. We know she's not the sexiest, smartest, best... whatever. But we fall. The chemicals in our brain say, "This is the one. I'll do anything for her." And then we turn into beta pussies. I was hook…
/r/TheRedPill23/09/16 02:27 PM
4

This. Every single girl I've been with the last 10 years has wanted it rough. If I ask them about it or they bring it up or I just go for it, the answer is always the same. They want to let go of inhibitions and be ravaged. I used to think that there was "porn sex" and "real sex". No true! They want what (at least most) of what you're jerking to. Use your nails. Pull hair hair. Bite her neck. Slap her thighs. Tie her up! I have toys and straps on my bed at all times. 100% of the new girls seeing…
/r/TheRedPill23/06/16 12:45 PM
2

Agreed on the signs of someone not fully open or committed to RP. It works when you dive all in. My flair - I like to spread RP love to DB peeps without giving it a name. Actually got caught in a few subs trying to spread the word. This philosophy works! And every woman I respect agrees entirely with it. They crave an alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 03:35 PM
0

I agree with most of your points. A good dissection of a broken system. Maybe it worked find in a bygone era when the most exciting thing couple had to look forward to was literally the cows coming home. Now we have excitement around every corner, we can download excitement on any device and we are taught to maximize life by seeking even more excitement. That's a high bar to match as a husband. I think that's why you're seeing more couples marry for a period instead of for life and more couples …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/15 07:00 PM
3

I agree! I peruse because understanding the worst helps me lay a stronger foundation to avoid it. We have to be the husband and the boyfriend, the provider and the sex god, the father and the thrill seeker.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 03:03 PM
2

It's depressing to learn and hard to adapt. But the rewards are immeasurable. When you can see beyond her words and moods. When you can see what gets you the results you want. It's lonely being the captain, but it's infinitely rewarding succeeding where so many fail.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 03:02 PM
2

I was blown away by this, but it actually makes perfect sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 03:00 PM
1

I'd argue that they have not "won," but they are winning. We are in the middle of the growing pains of a country torn by the rise of women rights exacerbated by men freely handing over the power because of improper training and many misconceptions. They only hold the cards because two generations of man have given them up freely. If we better ourselves and live for ourselves the will throw the cards back at us because they are learning that it's lonely being the leader. The laws are antiquated a…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 03:00 PM
2

think about how you're making them feel. This is such a key foundation to women and to life. Understand the situation (feeling) from the other perspective and address it to change the feelings to what you desire and you can rule the world.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:55 PM
1

"A mass of conflicting impulses. This. So well said. Blame the feminist movement. You missed it because you were taught that we're all logical and rational. And because most women couldn't let the truth spew from their lips even if they did fully understand it, "I want you to selfishly use me as sex toy. I want you to ravage me without concern for me. I am a dirty slut with sexual wants that even I can't admit to. I want you to bring me adventure and take me away from my crap, disappointing life…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:47 PM
0

Understanding their turmoil better than they do can help you lead the MRP life. They struggle with this more now than ever thanks to the feminist movement.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:46 PM
0

Thanks for clarifying what you're sure I don't understand.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 06:50 PM
1

agreed! I definitely ride like everything around is trying to kill me. Everyone should take an MSF course, too, IMO. We both know, it doesn't really matter who's at fault when we're the ones that'll suffer the most. Alert, defensive driving is the way to survive.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:24 PM
1

Hey man! I still definitely need MRP. I had some bumps that I'm overcoming. Going back to re-read stuff and absorb. Just got distracted with motorcycle and dog stuff. So much to learn!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:22 PM
1

Right?! The more I hang out with the people I emulate, the more I see how much they skate by on BS. Sure, there's tons of intelligence, hard work and skill. But there is also plenty of charismatic BS to cover the gaps. And I agree. Sign up for things beyond your current skill and push yourself!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:21 PM
1

Right!? Taking the long way home after work is great. And finding twisties in the countryside is heavenly. I definitely encourage noobs to do an MSF course and practice. I'm still practicing my emergency stops in empty parking lots whenever I can.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:19 PM
1

Can't wait to drag my knee some day!!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:18 PM
1

Totally personal preference. Cruiser = leathers, long country roads, going out for beers with old guys. Sport Bike = Race leathers, twisites, adrenalin, mostly younger guys, lots of idiots. Cafe racer = 10% cool, 90% hipster bike of the week. Personally, I like the low-maintenance, plenty-of-power cruiser. But I have the bug. I want them all! Cruiser, Sport, Enduro, Off-road. All!!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:18 PM
1

Thanks! And I bet it is. Dogs are domesticated. They crave the leadership.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:15 PM
1

Agreed on all fronts. One of the most RP guys I know trains and competes in police dog stuff. It's amazing. I'm learning so much with my little pup who will do anything she wants, but happily and eagerly learns what she should and shouldn't do.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:14 PM
1

Agreed! Way to hold strong when most other guys assume they need to give it up. Drawing those lines is crucial to RP.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:13 PM
1

Totally agreed on the Jeep too!! I'm saving up for one. Jeep & motorcycle = winning.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 02:12 PM
2

Gotcha.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/15 02:42 PM
6

http://i.imgur.com/aJEW8EP.png The Captain who is Learning and Lifting
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/15 10:18 PM
3

I'm not maintaining my frame daily. Not losing it and throwing tantrums by any stretch. But I'm not keeping a consistent, high-energy, positive attitude like I should be. I'm letting too many things affect my mood. I really want and need to embrace stoicism and control my attitude for the better. When I went on the last trip, I was laser focused on my outcome - being happy. I haven't yet turned that into a daily initiative.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/15 07:55 PM
5

Sounds like she is turned on and having crazy sex the way she wants and knows how. Selfish? Yes. Needs harsh correcting? No. She may not like foreplay or how you do it. Personally, I'd ask her. And I'd shove my dick on her face so she has to suck it when we start. Girls love doggy. My SO loves that position so she'll request it bc it gets her off. Your so probably just loves the angle and is getting her kicks thinking that you're both going carnal. You need to establish that it's not your favori…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 03:31 PM
7

Came home a few nights ago to my RP-aware SO and her friend. Her friend looms eager to meet me and says, "Tell me about this 'mano' stuff and how to fix my husband!" I look at my SO who confesses, "She was whining about her hubby and I was bragging about you and your changes." I grabbed a whiskey, stood by the mantle and dropped some basic RP truth intermittent with, "There's not much you can do. He has to find it for himself." He's the usual mostlyBP turned super BP "Mr. Good Hubby" and she wan…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 02:49 PM
3

Kick ass man! Relentlessly improve. FYI - She's not gonna apologize. Better to drop the expectation.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 03:14 AM
5

Holding frame is recentering your focus/goal on what you really want - to be happy. Not to be right, not to be best, not to be loved, not to be appreciated,not to be on time, etc - just to be happy. Remove everyone else from having any impact on that outcome because it's 100% yours to own. Examples from my RP transition. SO was extra piss about XYZ and snippy at me. Nothing enough for me to have to correct so - I chose to be happy. Your crap attitude doesn't concern me. Result - I'm happy and sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 02:35 AM
2

Yup. My first MRP post was a list of all the things she was begging me to fix that I didn't get until MRP. She was begging me to man up but BP me didn't get it at all until MRP laid it out. For all the girls that blast this style, there are some that get it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/15 11:17 PM
1

I'm like you. Natural talker and comedian. Silence comes off as pouting. I've learned to be playfully sarcastic and teasing to 80% of her chat. If it was a shit test, then I passes and I'm "funny". If it was a comfort test, then she follows up with something that makes it clear and I squeeze her. Try a more quick, playful sass. Also, practice your facial expressions. Silence with a look of "Really honey?" Or "Baby, I got this" will move hamster mountains.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/15 12:47 PM
2

This. Don't sit until the work is done. Need a break? Stand in the kitchen alone with a glass of cool water. Or stand outside your front door and mentally transition from work to home reaponsibilities. You can get a lot done in 30 min if you keep the pace.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/15 12:43 PM
5

She has a twisted view of love. In fact, it's not love. It's a sense of "I want a man I can manipulate like my mom taught me." You're being used as she was taught to do, so you have an uphill battle. Be ready. It sounds like she sees you as a necessary evil or a puppy that provides income, fetches things and gives up on bjs. She's 100% in charge. So no getting her water = "you don't love me" = "I regret marrying you"?! Do you see how absurd that is? There's either way more to the story than thes…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/15 12:40 PM
1

I'm curious what others say too. I'd go 9 x weekly if possible, but she's not able to so we've capped at 4-5 . My SO will bring the BJ and handy as needed but I'd describe our sex life as "We have sex as often as her pussy can handle it." I guess that's pussy terminal velocity. I think we have to acknowledge her physical limits as well as other options for her to please you. Maybe other guys with more dread can get more non-vag sex. Curious what others report as the limit.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/15 05:47 PM
1

I'm like you. But you got it easy, bc I already knew way more about my SO's slutty past thanks to our long friendship . What your wife revealed is really not bad, from my circle. As Whine pointed out - Sluttiness is relative. You're better off not asking and not knowing. Parts of you want to know, but it's not worth it. Trust me. If you want to avoid it, then avoid those drinking games at parties. I'd consider telling her that an expectation of yours is that she doesn't reveal anything publicly …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 03:25 PM
1

I would have had to reply to the "I control the sex." It's an offer to you to show your power or back down. To me, ignoring it was backing down. "You only think you do." And walk away. Or "Only on Tuesdays honey." Or "Not anymore." As you step right into her personal space, with a fun smile and kiss her on the forehead. Then walk away.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/15 05:09 PM
1

Something along the lines of "That doesn't work. We believe we're a team. I want my man happy too."
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 08:25 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. And you're right. I lift for me. I love the look, the feeling, the testosterone and the confidence. We're meant to move and lift heavy things.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 02:05 AM
2

I'm lucky in many ways. 1) She's wanted me for years, so I've always been the prize in her eyes. 2) Her parents raised her with more traditional Southern values. 3) She's in a career with a strong hierarchy that taught her the value of leadership and authority. 4) She's had enough long term relationships to know how shitty 99% of them are and to learn what she likes. She basically told me she wanted many of things things when I first started turning BB "Mr. Good Husband" but I didn't understand.…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 11:11 PM
1

hahaha!! Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 11:05 PM
2

I agree!! That's why I post this stuff. MRP has improved my sex life, my relationship with my amazing woman, my career, my friendships... literally it's about how to decide what you want, be a leader and take action in every aspect. Also... haggle on everything. Sure, it's easier in Mexico. But learn to do it everywhere. "Is that really the price?" Offer a discounted price on all sorts of stuff, especially if paying cash. It's challenging, fun and sometimes very rewarding.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 11:05 PM
1

Agreed with you that vacations are a prime indicator. Too many couples flop during vacations. This was my time to shine for sure. I see your point about "sex as the prize." I need to digest that more. We have plenty of sex so it's not like infrequent chore-play. In my mind it's more like sex is my love language, and she was eager to show me her love and appreciation. Are you saying it should never be viewed as a "reward"?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:15 PM
1

Thanks man! I actively try to share a lot without the fluff. PM me if you want some other travel thoughts. Vacations can be make or break. This is your chance to prove to her that you deserve to be the Captain.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:11 PM
2

It was a huge frame shift for me from: OLD- "I'm going to get to the flight, get to the hotel, be on vacation and be happy." = "Spirit fucked with my happiness!!" NEW- "I'm going to be happy regardless of the likelihood of stressors" = "I'm still happy!" I see the frame (aka: OI, "keep calm and man on") so clearly now as a reassignment of my goal directly to "happiness" by removing everything else from it's path. Especially true for removing stressors that I (should) expect like: airline delay, …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:09 PM
1

Thanks! You've helped me and others a lot in this group.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:06 PM
2

Do you have any idea how much this reads like the typical MAN whining about the typical WOMAN? Either gender on the low-libido side feels "pressure" by the partner. Either gender having to initiate all the time is "demoralizing". Both parties want to be desired. Husbands have asked their wives to help out more with dinner, bills, etc and been disappointed by poor results, mistakes and laziness. This is amazing. He has turned into the BP "wife" that most men detest. Why? Because you are fulfillin…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 07:32 PM
2

Here are some simple yet effective responses to always have ready. Remember, she's an emotional, covert creature. Do not respond with your logic. She gets more from HOW you respond, than WHAT you respond with. So use a few words but respond with confidence and a smile. She starts fretting about something. - "No worries baby" or "That sucks" Don't rationalize. Simply offer a warm, confident smile and quick statement. She questions your decision/action. - "Baby, I got this." Again, warm, confident…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 04:48 PM
1

I agree this is being too detailed, but I'll throw in. 10% or lower in summer shirtless months. Enough to see a small 6-pack. When I saw my 4-pack proudly displaying, it felt like Christmas and my confidence soared. The women go nuts for shoulders, arms and abs. Put some extra work there and lean by counting calories and macros. You'll be there in no time.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 11:25 AM
1

Google "getting things done summary". It's an excellent time management system IF you commit to it. Then you need a tool. Install "Trello" on your phone and bookmark it. Very amazing project manager app/website. Smaller learning curve, very tactile and great for breaking projects into bite-sized tasks. Now- set your goals. Type up your next 3 years major goals with metrics and deadlines. Print up copies for your nightstand, bathroom, car visor, wallet, etc. Read them at least twice daily. Go to …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 12:37 PM
5

You're bastardizing the concept unnecessarily. I'm not saying there are any covert contracts in it, or that you can anticipate every need or be a butler. An RP man can be aware of the needs of his wife and family without being a bitch, that's part of leading. There's a difference between BP covert contracts with choreplay and catering vs. RP aware of the needs of your "audience" to get the best results. Many RPers can ignore this. That's fine. RP pushes tracking her ovulation cycle. There's even…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 01:11 PM
2

I agree with building, lifting, reading, being etc. Completely. Some guys like a better understanding of all the factors while leading.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 03:15 AM
2

I'm not practicing enough OI. When we're great together, we're amazing. When there's a tiff, it ruins me. Way better than before MRP. But even when I vacate to do what I want, it still consumes me for at least an hour. This weekend I wanted to go for a run and then for her to join me at the park to just play together for a bit. She started stressing out about house chores, but wanted to go. When it finally came time, she was clearly stressed (needlessly) and bailed. I told her it was the one thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 12:35 AM
2

Agreed on MyFitnessPal and Paleo. Both are sure to bring results. Nutrition is HUGE for having the energy, both physical and mental, to be a full Alpha. Buy a cheap kitchen scale and weight out your foods. Track everything for at least one week. You'll probably blow your mind for where your stats are. Check your nutrients like sodium and potassium and adjust as needed. The American diet is absolute crap. Do this for at least one week and you'll never eat dumb again. You don't have to prep weekly…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 08:16 PM
2

It's absolutely ridiculous. It's also a way for her (AWALT) to try to sabatage - "Shit, he's working out and looking great, but I don't want to. That's hard. I don't want to give up ice cream and sofa time. I better say something to stifle his motivations." Just last night my SO proclaimed that I'm too "intense" about working out. Piss off. You're simply jealous that I'm getting better result than you are and that I occasionally choose the gym over snuggling. AWALT - Listen to what they do. Igno…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/15 01:02 PM
1

Way to go man! I've been looking into Leangains but not ready to make the adjustment. I've been thinking for my body that I could easily fast in the evenings and eat during breakfast and lunch. It's just social nights that would mess with me.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 03:03 PM
3

I didn't have a plan for last weekend. Ended up sleeping in past the one thing I wanted to do - Fitness class. She, however, had a few items on her agenda throughout the day. Because she had a to do list, she was more clear headed about her time. I wanted to "relax" but wasn't clear how and got frustrated that she had activities that I had to plan around. Lesson - I need to enter weekends like any other days, with a plan for my precious time. I am the driver, not the passenger.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 12:47 PM
2

Heck yeah!! All great points!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 10:15 PM
1

I almost destroyed my relationship by switching from "awesome boyfriend" to "future Mr. Good husband" for a period. She hated it. She thought I was a pussy, while I thought I was doing what I was supposed to. We went to counseling before even getting married! I also lived by the "Always date your wife" rule, but I thought it was all about going on a date every two weeks. Then I discovered MRP, finally understood the things she nagged me about and started lifting. I now understand that "Date your…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 10:08 PM
3

Way to go man!! Keep it all up and send some field reports in when you're further along. Tons of respect to you for dropping nearly 100lbs! That's a huge accomplishment. And way to quit smoking too. That will benefit you in every level of your life. Tracking my weight lifting is so important to me b/c every day I can see if I hit a new personal record in either higher weight or more reps. That's amazingly motivating. AWALT - Chicks want a guy they lust after. Then they get clingy b/c they know o…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 09:57 PM
3

Great parallel and darn good point. RP changes your perspective overnight, but it takes months to attain your new definition of success.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 09:53 PM
2

I use FitNotes and really like it. Tracks weight and body fat %. Create your own routines with sets. Auto tracks your personal records and displays growth in graphs. Easy to backup data and email info to friends.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 09:51 PM
1

Yes and No. As the Captain, you are indeed responsible for the officers and crew's safety. In terms of evolution, women seek safety, so it's in your best interest to be the man that provides it. On the other hand, you also need to create a dopamine rush sometimes through adventure and novelty that might be counter to creating safety. This is part of the hypergamy issues we talk about. She wants a man that makes her feel safe and still provides adventure. No, you are not necessarily responsible f…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 09:48 PM
1

If you're not sure what you want, but are sure that you're not that happy with her, then do NOT double -down on a house. Delay it b/c of interest rates, economy, etc. Maybe another 6 mo stint of self-improvement before the direction is clear to you. How is her attitude now vs when you were dating?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:34 PM
3

I remind myself of the goal - for me to be happy. 90% of the time I'm not happy enough "winning" to entertain the argument. 10% of the time the outcome is worth the discussion.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/15 04:21 PM
2

Why listen any more than the bare minimum? I tell my SO "I'm your husband, not your girl friend. If you want to talk about solutions or real issues, I'm your man, but if it's just daily stress and drama, I'm not going to listen." Your time is valuable whether you're working, fixing things or relaxing. Tell her to call her mom or a friend on the drive home and dump her stress. You get that as a female she needs to, but it doesn't have to suck up your time. Also, being positive is a skill that's w…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/15 11:42 AM
2

Heck yeah! Great success story!
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 09:24 PM
1

I set down ground rules for "venting" with my SO and it works. 1) You get to whine about the same thing 3 times without fixing it before I'm refuse to listen anymore. 2) I'm not your "girlfriend" and I will tell you when you've hit a topic or length of discussion that warrants a girl's ear. 3) If you whine to me, be prepared for a solution. That's my job. 4) Never vent to your friends about us without having addressed it with me directly first. That's very disrespectful. She's clear on my expect…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/15 07:08 PM
2

You did not pass your wife's shit test. She had a (possibly legit) reason for wanting to go to sleep but it was just an excuse. Stop responding to it directly! Start responding with the techniques discussed and be sassy with her. Better answers to halt on sex: "Well we better be quick then." "Two hours? I have to wake up in 45 minutes!" "Phsshhh, I only need two hours every 5 days." Better answers to going to the gym: "If I don't go now, I'll miss the cute girl that keeps checking me out." "Obse…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 08:16 PM
6

Let her know clearly what the expectations are from you. You work more hours and, I assume, contribute more to the finances. Tell her that she may be tired, but these are the new expectations. Disappear when she doesn't do them. Be extra lovey when she does. Let her piss and moan about being tired. Ignore it. Everyone has their excuses when someone tells them to get more shit done. You're tired too, but you work two jobs. Lift. Do hobbies. Lead. Read the sidebar. Be the man that does it all so t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 08:05 PM
2

Solid advice. OP had lost the romance and passion. It isn't found by dating another plate. It's made. Make it with your wife. Get both of you out of the rut. Encourage and reward her for getting in shape. Adventure, sex, mystery. Make it all happen. You own your life and your happiness whether you are married or not, so take the blame off her.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 03:40 PM
8

Please, be the man they want to be. Don't just teach and preach, but live it. So much RP stuff is so that you can be the leader they seek to emulate. And teach them everything. Discuss politics, finances, investing, diet, hobbies, grilling, cooking, etc. Talk about them all. Don't let them leave the house feeling inadequate about a principle skill they should have.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 01:44 PM
3

It's more like a vibrating bat that beats the orgasm out of her clit. It's the toy that goes caveman on her. Who cares? Any girl that's tried this vs a $10 junk vibrator cares. She can get pretty intense orgasms with you and a good toy.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/15 10:20 PM
1

I said: "actually, yes it is." Gold. I'll be holding that as a solid comeback to "it's not that simple."
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 09:52 PM
5

hahaha! Aaaaand that's why Whine is a good mod.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 09:04 PM
5

Sounds like you're living a good life and are moderately happy. But you also came here to justify your current relationship status while not actually asking a real question. You know what to do - read the books, read the posts, lift more. RP philosophy will help you on the path from good to great if you follow it. Do not make any demands. You're not doing the 180 turn that most RP Captains are here. You're just adjusting course a bit. No confrontations. No demands. Just reevaluate your happiness…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 09:02 PM
9

People (all of us) act on emotional and justify with logic. How many times have men tried to tell their wives how much rejection sucks and the women simply don't care? Meanwhile, she gets turned down once and the painful feeling is permanently etched in her conscious. Why? Because she felt it finally. I personally think that sort of "sex rejection dread" is ok once or twice in a marriage. It reminds them that they do NOT hold all the power for sex. You can take it away too. As such, you took awa…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 10:29 PM
2

haha... I like that! And my SO hates being called princess. That's great.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 09:34 PM
5

Sounds like you're doing great. RP isn't about cave man sex and domination every single time. A captain knows when to lead with force and when to lead with care. You showed your wife care during sex while assessing her new needs. That's a good leader. It sounds like she wasn't dominating, but was trying things to assess her newly healed body. Am I reading that wrong? As for getting her plate, I'm curious what other RPers say. I typically offer to assist if I'm going that direction. I'd also tell…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 08:10 PM
2

I love this post. Great organization is a necessity for great men. You have great tips for success here. I prefer Trello.com . It's synced everywhere, very visual, collaborative, and great for breaking down projects into actionable items. The "someday" list is important; get it out of your head. Whatever your tool, have just one place. You must review and edit it daily. Overdue tasks need to be re-prioritized or you'll drown in a sea of red tasks. Synced with all devices, especially smartphone, …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 05:41 PM
1

I like some of the cheap "brain games" apps that are becoming popular. Spend a few minutes "working out" a particular area and see if your score improves. Goofy or not, I like it!
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 08:43 PM
3

You hit a point in your marriage that you decided to look for help, found RP and have made some strong, silent personal changes. (I'm assuming all this.) Maybe she's doing the same for herself. It could also be that she's simply reacting to your positive change exactly as you'd hope. How long have you been doing RP? What changes have you made? There's a chance that this is your BSG (Beta Shit Goblin) screaming, "You're making good changes and hoping she reacts. She's reacting better than you cou…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 08:42 PM
1

BP = Expressing your emotions in a lengthy diatribe defending your beliefs in the proper "this is how our councilor taught me" way, hoping to convince her of your rightness and hoping to sway her toward your belief system. This does not work. Most BP men are not living out their true emotions, because those are locked away and considered "bad." Discussing your emotions is almost always discussing them too much and to no avail. RP = Expressing as concisely as possible why you feel something and w…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 08:35 PM
5

Thanks for sharing! I couldn't help but post too. The guy pulled himself out from suicidal thoughts, she's reacting well to his changes and they're STILL bashing him. WTF? It's great to be swinging by other forums, seeing some RP usernames and feeling "Hey! I know that guy. And he is actually contributing good stuff."
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 07:55 PM
2

I'd call that "stage presence". Well done! It's more than just lifting, it's also about flaunting it consciously on occasion. Being able to make those moments happen while seeming perfectly natural, that's definitely alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 06:32 PM
8

I get that too! Solid gold when she kisses my bicepts.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 06:31 PM
2

Great choice! Welcome! A hard kick in the ass is what separates us from the rest. It's while we'll grow to be the best men possible while others continue to shrivel helplessly.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 03:20 PM
3

Just know that it could be a bad sign. BUT not always. I said it way more than my SO. It turned out to be a difference in style. I used it like I was ending a phone call, saying it in most texts. She didn't feel the same way about using it like that. So I stopped using it so much, she says it more and we're both very happy. It had nothing to do with her actual feelings. If you're in tune with her feelings towards you then you'll know if it's an issue of her actual love of just expectations for t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 11:51 PM
3

I'm the same way. I love to communicate and texting is soooo easy. You have to reign it in as part of your RP game development. You probably already know these. Do not respond to any text from her any sooner than 90 min, unless it's about her wanting to jump your bones. You have too much free time to rush to her texts and then do reporting on it. Work on your goal list and stuff that is 100% for you. It's ok to use more words if you're a more vocal guy. IMO. I'm a word smith with my lady. You sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 10:24 PM
6

As RP would say - you can only fix you. Keep up your SMV so that she wants to make you happy and your dread so that she knows that if she doesn't make you happy, someone else will. Of course, lead by example with your own manscaping. Reward her handsomely when she does. Go down on her more, extra compliments about how sexy she is, etc. See if you can find any products/solutions for her excuses. You may find a better razor or cream that helps with the bumps. If you're lucky, you'll find one that …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 08:30 PM
1

You're getting a lot of heat for whether or not lifting is the "#1 most important". If we take that out and just say "it's damn important" then I believe everyone agrees. I'll argue that- yes it is most important, because of the points you made and more. I'll add to it that most BP guys have the wrong balance of chemicals floating through their body. Lifting shits the balance of chemicals by adding more testosterone and others that help fuel our confidence, motivation and drive. I'd argue that b…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 08:07 PM
1

That's what I definitely need to keep remembering - They're a positive, subconscious form of communication to her. They're not meant to be as damn irritating as they are (or at least as BP me saw them.) My noob status still shows itself in how hard it is for me to pass them if I'm not on the lookout. If I'm in the zone and ready for them, then I hit it out of the park. But if I'm off my frame and not expecting it, BP me reacts first and I have to consciously shift gears toward the RP response.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 07:51 PM
1

I think normally you're right. A little effort as possible will at least be the least risky. For this one, however, I'd consider it a "Foreplay Fitness Shit Test" that would have been best for met to engage with a dominant response version of Amused Mastery or Cocky/Funny. Man, the theatre of Shits Tests is never ending.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:21 PM
1

I'm still figuring out which methods of playful dominance and punishment get the best results. This would have been better than my neutral response.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:10 PM
1

This!! She was being playful, not disrespectful. She would have melted.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:09 PM
1

I see that now. I'm slowly learning to let go of the small stuff. Given the date-night nature of this, her breath was important to me. However, it clearly wasn't that big of a deal in the greater sense of my authority.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:09 PM
2

She hasn't accepted - I think you're right but with a twist. Yes, I'm still earning the right to Captain. It's more on me still learning to lead than her giving over the reins. However, I feel that this Shit Test of hers was more playful than disrespectful. Looking back it felt like her demeanor was really playfully saying, "What are you going to do about it?" almost to say, "I'm giving you a chance to dominate and 'punish' me right now and that will turn me on." Normally I'd just get butthurt a…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:07 PM
1

Good for you! You're a good friend. Sorry to hear about his relationship getting even worse! I'd have a very very hard time sticking in it with the way she's acting. But great to hear that he's willing to give RP a look and building his case.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 04:48 PM
2

Example added.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 01:40 PM
2

No prob. It's actually called a "fitness test".
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 01:36 PM
3

Ha! You're right. I have more reading to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/15 09:11 PM
4

What's great about RP is after you go through the anger, accept that she's not a unicorn and accept AWALT, you can build your relationship stronger than ever, but by focusing on you first. I love my SO more than ever because I understand how she works now and because I no longer depend on her for what she cannot provide. I am master of my own happiness. I do not fault her for her natural limitations or society for being misguided. I can train mold her core good-natured person and AWALT mechanics…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/15 02:47 PM
1

She gets anxious when the intimacy gets too high and then she will often try to distance herself, This is classic "Fear of Success". We don't mention enough here how many people (men and women) have a damaged/low self-esteem. This often manifests itself in self-sabotaging behavior which can either keep "success" away, or blow "success" up once it feels too good. These thoughts include, "He only says nice things to me b/c he has to as my hubby." and "I don't deserve a husband that loves me b/c I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 06:39 PM
1

Holly crap... lots of debate and good advice here. IMHO - Talk with your wife about your new stance on faith. Tell you are 99% certain of your new path but you are not expecting the family to follow you, just respect you. Address that you know it's a darn big change for her and your kids given the society. Pre-compromise that you will pretend to fast with the rest of the family coming up. Tell her you're doing it for her, the kids and your mom b/c you want them to participate fully in what they …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 06:21 PM
9

Tell him that in lieu of all your aforementioned good advice, that you want him to dedicate 6 month to RP while not saying anything. He may not bite, but since you care about him, it's worth the chance. After reading, lifting, digesting and acting out RP - he will know what to do. When he whines and waffles, tell him that this is the philosophy that we have all found gets to the CORE of the issues for him while everything else is just a bandaid. Remind him that he will come out better in every w…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 06:10 PM
1

This is a fantastic break down of what it means to "Do the activity" vs. "Live the philosophy". It's why 99% of us should stay covert with RP. It's pornstar vs starfish sex. It's why if she has to tell you what to do, you've already lost. Can't up vote enough!
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 02:35 PM
1

Totally agreed. Sad that it's basically secret knowledge now that's unwelcome by most.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 11:26 AM
2

There's always a reason. Sometimes it's 12 crazy steps away. But it's something: she's also tired from the day, pissed you were more fun with the kids than she was, horny and you're not perceiving it, some joke you made last month, etc. If it was truly unusual behavior I would have at least asked her one time what's up. If she pulled this every few weeks, I'd ignore it, maintain frame and do exactly what you did.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 09:16 PM
1

Personally, I see it in mine when her emotion seems to be stronger than her words. That indicates that she's feeling a strong emotional trigger and her brain is trying to rationalize it. That's when you really need to find the emotional, core issue and re-ground her brain.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 03:06 PM
1

Hmmm. Good point! I don't want to waste time kidding myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 01:42 AM
1

Another for meetup.com . Go do things you want to do and you'll meet good people. Another for MMA. I love it. Great people there. You just have to be courageous enough to chat and get beyond just the gym. Networking events for business. You don't need to own your business to go to a few networking group and have a drink. Especially true if you have a side business floating around your head. Volunteer. Do some social good and meet some other cool people. Neighbors. Host a man-only BBQ in your nei…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 08:55 PM
1

haha... yeah. You'll never find the perfect balance for her. But you're better off erring on the side of spending a bit too much time away from her. That way she appreciates when you're there. Enjoy the crazy ride!
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 08:54 PM
7

It sounds like you did the social version of pouting when she turns you down, which is not showing OI. You, as most of us, had a Covert Contract about how she'd react. Your SMV is not high enough to overcome the slight romance of being young and single again. It sounds like you were doing a great job of being respectable father while not doing enough to be a fun husband. Remember, you have to be ALL guys. http://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/31r9u0/you_have_to_be_an_entire_boy_band/ T…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 08:45 PM
2

Our work mostly along typical gender roles with some liberal "all hands on deck". Sometimes you can't instinctively feel it and need to clearly identify it. We enjoyed talking about chores we hated vs liked vs felt neutral. Since we're in the city, I don't have a yard to mow, shed to fix or wood to chop. Wife: Clean and cook. She does a ton of great cooking, mops floors, cleans counters, etc. Husband: Build, maintain, fix. I also do the "gross" stuff like take out trash and clean toilets. Both: …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 08:07 PM
2

In theory, if there is one "sociological mechanism" that should be able to overcome feminist vested interests it is peer reviewed science. I too wish it were this easy. However, our world is run by "feels", not science. It wont feel good for women to admit that they were wrong and that they want to be led by men. It wont feel good for the men-children of our generations to admit that they never grew into men. After a few more decades of chaos, crap marriages, bad pop psychology and a continued f…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 04:49 PM
0

Mine does not do this. If she did, I would quickly squash it as immature and disrespectful communication that will not be tolerated. But you have to earn the leadership position in order to make demands.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:30 PM
28

See a divorce lawyer and know your options. But, this could very well be a dread response from her based on your overnight RP changes. I think that lots of guys trying to turn things around without saying anything appear on the outside to have given up, be cheating or just turn into selfish pricks. Give her an idea of what you're doing for the FAMILY so that she understands it's not purely selfish, angry desires. If it were me, I'd sit her down at home and share some of your new insights. Just a…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:29 PM
1

Agreed. Fat is repulsive on 2 levels. One, it's visually gross. Two, it's a clear indicator of that persons self-respect and self-discipline. (Except for the 1% of people who really can't control it, blah blah.)
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:20 PM
1

We'd have a stronger society if more people felt like you. This is not a zero sum game. Push your fellow man to expect and achieve more. Everyone wins when we all aim higher.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:19 PM
3

/r/fatpeoplehate Not only is it a sub... but it has over 100K subscribers (vs our 3k)!! This perpetuates the crap reality that the vast majority of people know there is a problem but would rather hate others than improve themselves. Gents, you have my respect. Keep raising the bar!
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:18 PM
1

The worst part is knowing that 99% of them stopped spreading that around you, but will change nothing in their own lives. You fought their BS world-view so they just stopped encouraging your debate instead of actually opening up to our perspective. Nothing gained. Mediocrity endures.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 03:13 PM
1

Thanks man! I have plenty more to learn but I'm definitely in a good place and laying a great foundation for my LTR. This is the first sub, for me, that turned from just lurking to actually making friends. I'm glad my posts make sense bc I do love sharing. Join toastmasters! The amount of AhHa moments post pill swallowing is just astounding.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 12:48 PM
3

Agreed with Czech. Talk about it when all feelings are neutral and sex is not happening soon. Some drinks in her may help or hurt. Don't ever criticize her slutty past. AWALT. Personally, I'd rather not know. Do NOT come from "I need this" or "why don't you do this?" Instead, come from "I'm going to try something new tonight" and "I'm loved when you did this" When I stopped whining about the sex we did NOT have and kept praising the sex we DID have, she exploded with desire. I removed sex from b…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 12:45 PM
1

Playing the hamster is like playing with dynamite. Just bc you passed the bomb technician test doesn't mean you should start juggling dynamite. Learn how it works and how to maneuver it toward your missions as captain.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 12:36 PM
1

Thanks! I've been reading similar books for 2 decades. I'm hoping to reach the widest audience so I guess the terms are good.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 12:34 PM
1

How often do you think her hamster just spins bc of her feelings vs bc she wants you to lose frame? If it's the former, then she's just being a girl. If it's the latter, then she's being destructive. Personally, I'm not comfortable playing with it at all. I recognize that it's apart of my life and I treat it they way I need to accomplish my missions.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 12:31 PM
1

I'm not following. Please explain. I bet this would be a great debate over whiskey and cigars.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 10:54 AM
3

Plot twist: RP was started by feminists to increase the average quality of the men they consume. I ... I... I... Fuck you. Definitely mind blown.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 05:18 PM
2

If she's being that irrational then there's a deeper issue to her. You're better off digging out that issue bc you'll never sell her on your logic without knowing her stance. My bet is ... she can't control you and she's probably not 100% happy with herself. She can control her kids lives. Most women try to fix all their own childhood issues in their kids. She doesn't care that he's good at judo. She cares that judo isn't popular. She wants her kid to be popular and to play popular sports. She w…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 04:50 PM
4

Brilliant!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 04:37 PM
3

With most women it's fine. Most want to feel your power. And they just want you to know/predict what mood their in. You have to train her that No means you may continue while Potato means you jump off her, with perfect neutral frame and go about your business. She gets off on manipulating you and controlling you. It WILL get worse. Cover your ass.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 03:10 PM
1

This is great and so very true. Upgrade your view of yourself, you'll upgrade what you present to the world and subsequently upgrade your feedback from the world. Stop viewing yourself as an adult version of the highschool dweeb that you were. Stop looking backwards. Even my successful father would say, "I still think I'm the odd 19 year old. It still surprises me when I look in the mirror how old I am." When you view yourself this way, you are self sabotaging. How can she respect you when you d…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 03:07 PM
1

Research the prenup laws in your area. In the US there's a limited range of what you can control, but YES it's worth controlling. Draft a layman's version of your prenup. Get a lawyer to turn it into something that will work. Do this at least 3-6 mo before the wedding. I suggest saying that both parties forgo alimony and itemizing your pre-marital (personal) assets. Also, enter a clause that both parties agree to the prenup voluntarily and without duress. Tell her you're drafting a prenup to pro…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 02:30 PM
5

This is tricky. She gets off on showing that she "owns you" by teasing you with her body, instead of actually getting off on sex from it. It's her getting excited by dominating you. That kind of game would infuriate me. You've got to show her that you're not her Beta toy. You've got to try new responses, as you're requesting here. Make a safe word for her to use when she really wants you to stop. Make it clear that you're going forward as much as you want, until she uses the word. It could be th…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 02:24 PM
3

Damnit. You're 100% right. No date nights, or other nights, should have the covert contract for sex. I agree with being overt about your change too. She'll assume contracts are still valid unless you clarify and follow through. Lobster = anal. Hahahahaha
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/15 01:46 PM
2

OI would have been. 1) Not engaging her time comments. 2) When she stopped, put her hand on you to show her to keep going. 3) After the fact, while being stoic, say, "hey, you tried to do something awesome for me. Let's figure it out so we're both happy."
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 11:08 PM
7

Man... I know that issue. Girls don't get that if we don't finish. It doesn't count. But at least she's trying. As Lewis Black (I think) says, "You don't blow your husband. You blow your boyfriend." Why? Because you're still trying to win you B/F over so there's Dread. If it makes you feel better, her hamster was the one asking you to finish b/c her feelings couldn't handle that she sucks at sucking you. And her hamster told you how long it had been. You argued with the hamster. Stop it. You nee…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 11:07 PM
3

Wow. Way to take action on your shit man! You're already a great contibutor. Looking forward to future musings.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 06:43 PM
3

By your list it looks like you already have a much better foundation than most. Well done! I'll add some of my own tips for anyone who is interested. First and foremost - Lift and kick ass at work. If value (SMV and other) at work is already established, then you get more leeway to play with style. If you're a well-dressed slacker, then you're priorities are off. Shirts - Polos are frumpy and too casual most of the time. Leave them for Sundays and golf. Button-downs are the timeless classic for …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 05:36 PM
3

Thanks!! It may be more concise, but it's all the same advice that we need to hear. Marriage does not mean that you've "won" and can dig into the cheetos every day in your fat pants. The dating continues. The romance continues. Or she'll find someone else who woos her while you're working overtime. We need to be able to operate on every level in the spectrum. So true. She's promising herself to you. You're the only man for her. So... be every man. Enjoy trying new things and pushing yourself int…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 04:31 PM
5

I am way too addicted to Reddit and this sub. It's... it's bad. I'm not focused at work b/c I'm waiting for the next post. I need to get back to my career goals and motivation and not just RP goals. Also, I'm hitting the gym pretty regularly and classes in the evening but it's draining me. I haven't upped my calories enough and I am drained throughout the afternoons and evenings. I can't be an RP leader without enough fuel in the tank.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 04:27 PM
3

Bravo!! Amazing points! Totally agreed. Adventure - You are responsible for adding adventure to your relationship or she'll find a guy on the side that does. Surprise her with something silly (you doing paint night), something manly (white water rafting), something romantic (a bed-and-breakfast weekend), etc. Be every adventure she could want. Be Every Man - This is huge!! Have fun with yourself and with life! Do the adventures above. If you are the Captain and the Alpha, then you've got her res…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 04:12 PM
3

Agreed!! GREAT core point to RP. If you're RP noob... at least try it. I am a talker/texter. It's always been one of my greatest tools. I think of her all throughout the day and used to text her all the time to say so. Uggh... BP. Look at Your History - Once I started RP I re-read a fews days of our texting. I texted 2x more than her. My texts were 2x longer. I ended with "I love you" 3x more than her. I responded almost instantly. All of these things showed my Beta need to her. Then I flipped i…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 03:54 PM
2

Sorry to hear about your predicament. Congrats for handling it maturely and for seeking some advice from your RP friends. I'm going to throw out some off-the-wall thoughts. She Lied - That's very hard to come back from. What else has she been dishonest about? That's the hard part for me to swallow. Lesbian Adventure - I believe that every women is a bit lesbian. Personally, I'm ok with my girl getting a little girl/girl action b/c I know that I have the dick she'll want (as long as I keep creati…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 03:43 PM
18

Why are so many negative comments voted to the top? Lifting is a cornerstone of RP! Sure 2% of people shouldn't. Everyone else? You have no excuse for avoiding this sound principle. Build Muscles - The look good. They help you do manly things. They burn fat constantly. Feeling my SO wrap her hands around my muscles and watching her tingle is quite pleasurable. Love being able to tease her while doing absolutely nothing. Create Testosterone - The hormone of men. Feel it pumping thru your vains. L…
/r/TheRedPill07/04/15 12:51 PM
2

Awesome! What points hit you the most?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 12:28 PM
2

Thanks! It infuriates me to see no one take notes in big meetings, small updates, etc. No wonder nothing get's done!
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/15 08:17 PM
3

Awesome! Keep doing them and they'll see that you are important.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/15 08:15 PM
2

Great advice here already! Your anger is an emotion that's hard to control. So keep on the tips you see here until you feel it start to change. Ask yourself - What/who are you angry at? Does being angry help at all? Anger is part of the BSG - What good does anger do you? Mostly nothing. It's your BSG (Beta Shit Gobblin) spinning away, trying to rationalize your negative feelings. Blaming society, blaming your parents, blaming your wife, blaming yourself, etc. Blame, blame blame. In reality, who …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/15 05:32 PM
1

I took karate as a kid too. It helped build your foundation as a man, even if it was mocked back then. The agility, discipline and moves are still apart of you. I do Krav Maga now. It's not about status. Unless you mention it at the right time and get to see a few ladies eyes widen. If you do any MMA, they assume you can toss them around the way they secretly desire. It's about being able to handle yourself in the precious moments that it really matters. It's also about building yourself up as a…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/15 07:08 PM
1

All good discourse and ideas. Thanks for pushing us all in this sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 07:26 PM
2

Gotcha! Fair enough. Like the ol' fatherly advice of "Wait 3 days before you call her."
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 03:59 PM
3

ahhh... gotcha. I guess I didn't think of it that way b/c text/email was always one of my stronger tools. And, of course with the balance of nature, I'm crap with other tools.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 03:58 PM
4

hmm... Placing her on a pedestal = no, don't do that. Complimenting her = why not? You're definitely right, too much complimenting (say >10%) and you're being BP and ruining the fun. Agreed, do not ask for permission. "Can you wear the sexy panties tonight?" - BAD "Wear those sexy panties." - GOOD My SMV and dread are up. I definitely get good mileage from a small compliment sprinkled in. Too much dread with no reward/ego boosts and she's just exhausted from never ever feeling good enough. It wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 02:53 PM
4

Agreed with many of your points. You need all the foundation of desire from her for texting to work. Being unavailable, too important at work to text, slow to respond, etc - those are all dread. I have found that you absolutely can build attraction through words, if you've already started the fire. If you own your shit, walk cock first, bulk up, dress well so that she has even the faintest notion of wanting you - then great texting can fuel that fire very well. If you know how to pick your words…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 02:33 PM
6

Know that while we think about sex 25/8, she has to be reminded about it. So don't just dive in until you know she's is a good place as opposed to slammed with work, kids, chores, etc. Texting starts at home. Send her out the door with a slap on the ass, passionate kiss, etc. Something physical for her to remember. Feel her out. Start with her day. Is she in a good mood? If it's negative, then keep it neutral or test lightly. If it's positive then start stronger. "I can't stop thinking about how…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/15 12:46 PM
1

Right?! I want the sexy wife, the kids, the fort that I built and all that crap. RP helps us get that without /r/deadbedroom and /r/marriage crap that defines most relationships. Kick ass!
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 02:08 PM
2

Great points. I just get frustrated with posts being hijaked by "Don't do it" instead of focusing on OPs actual topic. I'd vote for " Don't, but if you do then X, Y, Z." That's helpful. Most of the guys in this sub came here after getting married, it all but failing and doing what they can to fix it. TRP is all about boys getting laid. What about men building swallowing the pill, finding the 10/10 woman that fits the RP man's needs, laying the proper foundation and expectations and then building…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 12:49 PM
2

Absolutely you can. A bit easier if you make double what she does.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 12:40 PM
5

This stuff is so damn good to read. Well done! Be careful, they could just be letting you walk off a cliff, so just keep your eyes open. Be sure to update us when one of them throws herself at you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 10:01 PM
2

Agreed and great advice. He was never for a moment the family leader.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 04:24 PM
1

I like it. Rock on!
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:19 PM
5

She gave up on me only because I gave up on myself. Great post. This line is so solid. Way to find yourself again man! Too many guys place the blame on women, feminism, parenting, bad advice, etc. The core is usually much more personal. You attacked the problem. Didn't get the results you wanted. Re-calculated your priorities and paradigm. Now you're seeing the success. To others not seeing the results yet. Have a "mirror talk" with yourself. Are you REALLY living for yourself or are you doing a…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:18 PM
2

Understood. Child of several divorced parents. This debate is not the crux of my post. There are plenty of other posts for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:11 PM
1

Pay for 50-75% of the nosejob after she saves the matching amount. She makes money. She wants the upgrade on her own body. She better do something to earn it. This also buys you time to keep improving yourself and your value positions. If you're concerned that that one thing is enough to cause an imbalance and risk then your SMV and other value isn't high enough. Keep raising it. Induce a bit more dread. Fuck her better than ever before. If you increase your value more and she pays her fair shar…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:09 PM
2

Dread. Got it. Keeping my value (SMV and otherwise) visible externally. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:04 PM
2

Newish to MRP. I still the see the "don't ever get married" comments often. Anyways... Dread game. Got it. Will keep it up. I'm going for a legal prenup written by lawyers. With some inclusions that I know are not legally binding, but simply written out, clear expectations. Separate docs.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 03:00 PM
4

You owe it to her and yourself, to be the greatest fucking everything she’s ever had and the best version of yourself that you can be. Set the bar that she measures everything to. This. This is the cornerstone of RP. Treat yourself with respect. Demand excellence of yourself every moment, every day. At home, at the gym, at work ... everywhere. Be the guy that everyone looks up to. Lift! Dress well. Walk cock-first and shoulders-back everywhere you go. In middle-management? You're still a leader …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:36 PM
1

Ha! This is gold man. Worth it's own post. A simple yet highly effective guide to handling the Indecision game that every girl plays. It's effective without being offensive. It maintains respect while still being playful.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 04:18 PM
1

So far my successful attempt is "Honey, it's very disrespectful when you check your phone while we're talking." She verbally appreciates it. Sometimes when I catch her doing it I'll walk away into another room to do/clean something as a way to show her that I'm not going to be 2nd fiddle to her phone. She's responding well, but I'd like to convince her to make the decision herself like I did. (HA! I know... I'm ridiculous.)
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 03:11 PM
3

I'm in a young LTR so these lines are gold to me for future time around older married couples in the hell of suburbia. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:57 PM
3

These are great suggestions for the modern man!! Facebook - Delete it off your phone. First, it's spying on you hard core. Second, you do not need to check it every few minutes. Anyone who is important and needs an immediate response can text you. Once you go through the withdrawl, you'll feel better. Hint, you can still check it manually on your mobile browser when you must and you can have it text you if important people post. The main thing is to remove your depenece on scrolling through it l…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:56 PM
1

This is the stuff I fear. I don't see any of this from my SO yet. Did you see it at the beginning? I'm trying to figure out if: 1) she's different (RP blasphemy), 2) she just hasn't evolved to that yet, 3) our lives aren't that complicated yet, but they will be. Just being able to understand and accept her hamster makes much of this soo much easier.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:29 PM
1

yo man. Congrats! Yeah... I'm a big fan of bullet lists. I actually wish I had kept better notes of the transition to help share with others, including my future kin. 6 wks is short. I know I've got a few slam dunks but I'm still in the little league of adulthood. Trying to keep my wits about me, develop solid habits, internalize the stoic oak, etc. Our relationship went from "in-love/honeymoon phase", to "where is all this friction coming from? Is this really what I want?", then RP found me and…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:24 PM
2

Thanks!! I still have some reading to wrap up, but I'm stoked to get to that book. So far, I'm blown away by how just the 101 stuff here has changed my life. But I kind feel like a kid that was just handed an AR-15 and shown where the trigger is. I know I hold awesome power, but I don't want to blow my own bits off.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:18 PM
1

Thanks to both you guys. I am doing too much talking. Not enough to reveal the magic, but I hear what you're saying. Need to zip it. Correct, I'm not digging out of 3 years of bad marriage. We had a 3 month bad spot and this turned it around overnight. So I am blessed to not have so far to dig out and that she is very willing and receptive to my changes. I know I have not yet hit Hard Mode. Hoping that I build the RP muscles strong enough for when it actually gets tough. I know that AWALT. I kno…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 02:15 PM
2

Totally agreed. But try and post there with a link to MRP and you're are the devil incarnate. So many unhappy people using the same tools to both dig their own graves and try to dig themselves out.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 11:08 PM
1

In this story, if she's 9/10 and improving, then she deserves the confidence and the right Alpha man. If she's less than that, then all the issues you're saying apply. I like the story from a SMV9/10 "total package" female perspective. Every guy has different taste, but I always liked girl that had this attitude if she deserved it. My point of sharing wasn't to debate her fictitious worth. But to share to the MRP/TRP lurkers that are sizing up their SO. AWALT - even the 9/10s (in every category,…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 11:05 PM
2

Awesome! That means she respects you and your SMV is good. Have fun with it. I've always been sassy, sarcastic with girls. So this change in mindset just invited me to revert back to that. If this isn't natural to you, then keep reading this sub. I wish I had a good book. I've been told that I should write a boon of manly one liners. An easy go-to is pick a one-liner from a movie you both love. Bring it up casually about how it's stuck your head and is hillarious. Try it out as a sassy comeback …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 09:40 PM
1

She's acting like a child. Treat her like one. Mediated, read... do whatever to remove your frustration and emotional buildup so that you can be a stoic Oak to her. Rearrange the letters to something funnier as suggested. That's hilarious! Maybe change a few of the photos. When she confronts you, play with it. "What?! Not me! (Ghasp!!) I didn't see that. We must have a Letter Ghost in the house. I'm going to go get a Ouiji board!" You don't want to still be emotionally hot and come off condescen…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 09:29 PM
1

This is a great assessment and following dialogue! You've definitely hit on something. It backs up my theory that all styles of Shit Tests are further divided into two groups: Does she respect your authority or not? Dominance Test - Does NOT Respect Your Authority = What you posted there. She did not trust you to do a fair share of the work. She was 'pinging' you, in the way she knew how, to take charge. She didn't want the authority, but she had to do it b/c she couldn't trust you to lead. Domi…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 08:54 PM
3

This was mostly fabricated in my own mind. How many of our BP problems were never as bad as our BSG (Beta Shit Goblin) made them out to be. That was the "angry" phase for me. Just being mad at myself for creating so much drama in my brain. Free yourself of imaginary guilt, lift more, make decisions and be the damn Captain!
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 07:05 PM
2

we change first. She will follow. We don't try to force others to change so that we can escape betadom This is such great advice that most noobs miss. Just because you've been unhappy for a long time, stumble on RP, get jacked on lifting and know a few dominance tricks - does NOT mean that you've earned the right to be her leader again. Yes, she wants it. Yes, you want it. But you have to earn it by focusing 100% on yourself in the beginning. If you focus on you just 25% and attack her for the i…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 07:02 PM
2

Fair enough
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 08:49 PM
2

I'd make the argument that it's a lot easier to find a worthy First Officer when she's closer to your age. 10 yrs younger means a lot of lessons she hasn't learned yet. I like having a First Officer thats fully capable, tough, and trustworthy in her role. Rsndom advice from my awesome step mom about marriage. 1) Wait. 2) Marry someone without kids. You have to come first.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 03:15 PM
3

Here's the comment we're talking about. http://reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/30l3xh/perspective_from_a_ll_f/cptgtej OP already removed her post, probably bc she didn't like the responses. But there's a screenshot of it in next comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 01:02 PM
1

Hey thanks! I hope you find even better results man!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 10:00 PM
2

AHH... Oh yeah. Thanks. I love that game! To me, playful shit talking is the most fun game!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 09:28 PM
3

I'm having such a blast with it. Changing my perspective on her actions has changed my life. Total rabbit hole stuff. And it's definitely woken up my snarky, sassy, psuedo cocky attitude that she fell in love with. Way more fun than the whiney BP Mr. Nice Husband that I was doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 09:18 PM
2

hey man thanks!! You contribute a lot to this group and I appreciate how you help us all grow. I feel like I lucked out. She was the right woman for this kind of leadership. I don't know if AWALT for this, but it works for us very very well. It definitely seems like it's still beginners luck. I need to keep laying the foundation for when the real challenges come. I'm seeing great results which is extremely motivating. I know I need to maintain discipline through the times when results slow down.…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 09:03 PM
2

All the right tricks fail if you're not the right guy. You need to keep working on yourself and your SMV so that she sees you as worthy of dominating her.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 11:37 PM
1

Would love to share. But too much doxxing in these parts.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 11:06 PM
1

It sounds like a combo of shit tests, ego and indecisiveness. Sounds like she makes enough to buy what she wants, when she wants it so she's confident. She may have a history of "I don't need a man to succeed" so you buying her expensive gifts scratches her independent woman facade. You making it an issue reminds her that you're not fully RP leader enough. And her female indecisiveness probably means that she doesn't know what she wants, but she does expect you to figure it out. So, what's the a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 11:04 PM
1

She makes me feel awful when she gives me expensive gifts and won't let me reciprocate. She does not make you feel awful. She does what she wants. You do what you want and she corrects you. You let yourself feel awful.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:40 PM
2

Holy crap. My SO would just melt with that!!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:38 PM
1

She intrinsically feels like she doesn't "deserve" to be happy. This is one example where I'd say therapy might be helpful for her. If she's dealing with a lifetime of low-esteem then you may have pushed her as far as you can push her. More dread may just blow up to her as her hamster says, "I knew I'd screw it up." At some point, if you can help her free herself from her issues with RP tactics, then a dr. may be able to assist.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:19 PM
6

This. If you raise your SMV, frame and manliness by yourself and for yourself, then she'll start wanting you more. Giving demands about sex and panties before you've earned her lust and respect back usually backfires. If/when you've earned it, you'll know. You'll be leaning against the wall in the living room talking, she'll stand up with a fire in her eye, grab your arm and start pulling you toward the bedroom while your mid-sentence. When you ask why, she'll reply without looking back, "You ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:52 PM
4

Not if you do it right. Memorize a basic response like "No problem. See you in a bit." So you can eject yourself from the rejection scene as quickly as possible. Do NOT explain yourself like "Since you don't want to have sex with me, I'm going out to do something fun." Just go. If you feel you have to explain then keep it short and about you, "No problem. See you in a bit." Wife - "Where are you going?" You - "It's a gorgeous night. I want to enjoy it." Try to really embrace the fact that you're…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:48 PM
3

We talked it out and thought it was a good Part 2 post.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:42 PM
5

Great breakdown. We call them Shit Tests which gives it a very negative connotation. I like how you call them "flirting" and that's exactly what most of them are to my SO and that helps me get in the feisty/witty mindset she wants. I used to see it as her being argumentative or feisty (as I called it). I would get frustrated with her for being so darn hard to communicate with when she was in her "feisty mood." Holy crap... her actual mood was "I'm horny, so are you going to play with me?!" Switc…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 04:54 PM
1

haha... exactly! More men need RP instead of /r/deadbedrooms. If she doesn't go for this guy, she'll go for the next because her man isn't fulfilling her needs.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 03:29 PM
1

That's why I prefaced it that not on everyone would agree that he's red pill. I don't know that he is or isn't. I know that I spent much of my BP life trying to never come off as Stuck up and a Jerk. Whereas RP men know that when we're leading our own lives, that's bound to happen. If this unsatisfied woman doesn't swing to this guy, she'll swing to the next b/c she is not getting her needs met at home. Definitely AWALT. Definitely hamster trying to justify her tingles as true love. Definitely a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 03:28 PM
8

That's a darn good start. Keep it up! as /u/strategos_autokrator pointed out in another post... if she shit tests, I now always take it as her way of initiating sex Viewing her frustration and feistiness (aka Shit Tests) as flirting and foreplay has completely changed my paradigm. You just gave another perfect example and she is in tune with herself to know that it 1) first annoyed her 2) then she realized she liked it.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 02:06 PM
1

if she shit tests, I now always take it as her way of initiating sex This is amazing. Not only is a shit test a general test of leadership, but covert female foreplay. I'm blown away right now. I can't wait to catch her in the act with my new RP-Goggles on.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 09:46 PM
1

That's an awesome plug for meditation and some of the exact reasons I need it. I'm way more of a "emotions on the sleeve" nice guy at home and work. Also, since the new job, stress and sleepless nights abound. Definitely going to put meditation as a higher priority. I really like the Buddhify app with 0.5gb of guided meditations. It's been the best thing to help me fall asleep in under 10 min.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 12:24 PM
1

Thanks man. I'm joining a couple lifting/bulking subs to get on track. Already 70% paleo but I don't think I'm getting nearly enough calories for the new routine. You're right, I need to get this inline. Still amazed how much MRP pushes meditation. Finally trying it. Amazing results for sleeping
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 12:07 PM
2

I'm lifting 3 mornings and MMA 3 evenings a week. Slowly reading NMMNG. Dressing nicer. Being more Alpha at home and work. Loving it. But it's fragile. As my boss says, "You're only one bad decision away from destruction." Some days it feels like a very slippery slope. Work - Yesterday I just felt Beta. I couldn't focus. Wasn't decisive. Avoided confrontation. It was a Beta day like I hadn't felt since diving into all this. I believe my diet was just off the day before and that triggered a downf…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/15 10:28 PM
1

Great points. Bar - Try switching a few of the bar nights to gym time, self-defense classes or other classes. Something has a regiment, that you look forward to and positively impacts you. I do Krav Maga 2-3 days after work and I completely look forward to it (as opposed to just mindless escapism). Sure, there's a monthly fee, but it's worth every penny. Added bonus, I come home sweaty and usually bloody filled with testosterone - all of which turn her on. Personal Time - Sounds like "Mr. Nice H…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 07:39 PM
2

This is a small item, but important for my growth. I'm not practicing CC/OI as well as I could and need to with my SO when it comes to texting during the day. I'm a big communicator and really sending long, thoughtful texts. If she doesn't reply within a few hours with some appreciation then I feel the twinge of butthurt. If I ask a thoughtful question and she doesn't answer it then I really get mad. I know she's busy and often can't have her phone on her during the day. I need to send thoughtfu…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 03:21 PM
1

Sweet!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:38 PM
1

My state does recognize common law marriage - even against people's desires. It's egregious.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:21 PM
1

This is solid, welcome advice. Given my aggressive business plans, it's very good advice that I'm going to act on. Thanks. I've already seen parents and family go through all sorts of divorces. Some are actually reasonable and others are sheer carnage. I'll go in with a prenup, a plan and my eyes wide open.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:19 PM
1

I'm not implying that success is a flag that can be captured and waved around. I mean that through daily work and continuous challenges that you can say, "I have a damn good marriage. I'm happy with this path." I know there are kids, bills, career changes, and many other challenges that keep us on our toes, but how many guys here have implemented it for over 2 years and consider their marriage "successful"? I know that marriage is like running a small biz. If I stop putting in the work, it falls…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:16 PM
2

Us - This is by man advice for me. I meant "us" as in the MRP group. Want - She's wanted me for 10 years. I've known that for 10 years, but I wanted to date. I didn't know if she'd grow up to be what I wanted. She did and then some. To counter that point, she's been married and divorced. She's dated plenty. But every time we saw each other throughout the years, it was obvious by her statements and actions. Lasting Success - I fully appreciate that this life requires daily work, constant improvem…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:11 PM
1

As always BPP, great points. I don't truly know if I want or can achieve that level of dominance. I do, however, understand that sex is a crucial component and I need to be very serious about my expectations and her willingness. I want to get married for many reasons, but not worth the debate on this thread. I'll get my thoughts together for another post.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 02:01 PM
1

So great to hear a long term success story. Rock on man!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 01:57 PM
1

That's awesome!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 01:56 PM
2

Great advice! I know no marriage is perfect, but I'm darn sure I got a keeper. I'll go through your list. She's vetted - I've known her for 10 years. I've seen her grow, fall and rise back up. She's wanted me for 10 years so I know she's appreciative and willing to put in the work. She understands my goals and our goals together. She's seen me grow into the man I am today and she show's her respect regularly. She self-reliant - I love this part. She's independent without making me feel alone. 90…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/15 01:56 PM
1

Got it. Solid advice for the stoic man.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 07:22 PM
1

That's a great point. To me, RP can get a little too misogynistic. I'm taking what applies to me. I don't think she's "evil" in nature at all. I, of course, am afraid of waking up and feeling "This isn't what I agreed to." b/c wife got big, kids are obnoxious, etc. Your point mirrors my attempts to be an Oak for the rest of my life. - "I'm not afraid of anything, but I am aware of everything." For your example - Are you insinuating that it's guaranteed to explode; it's just a matter of when. Or …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 04:24 PM
1

I kind of get that vibe too, so I appreciate you pointing it out. I'm definitely picking-and-choosing what's right for us. We both have some "past" to break from and I don't want to dive too far the wrong way into RP. I want a partner that respects and cherishes me, who trusts that I will lead with good decisions and actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 04:19 PM
2

It definitely sounds less about the shirt and more about her being able to dominate you. If she's used to this level of dictating over you, then it'll probably be a bit of a hard climb back. Where else does she control that irritates you? What other shit tests is she throwing your way? You half-assed retaliation was cute. I can say that b/c I'm still Mr. Nice Guy trying to stop the passive-aggressive antics. Make sure your "holding frame" doesn't include pouting. I'm still working on stopping po…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/15 01:09 AM
1

slow clap for excellent use of that quote. I'm adding that back to the Top Quotes list.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/15 08:46 PM
2

I like the app. Track other things with it too! Track her mood, your sex, etc. It's a great little journal for this process.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/15 08:44 PM
1

Yes! Comedy is gold. It may not be the most RP thing, but comedy has been my main differentiator with women throughout my life. Make a woman laugh consistently and she will enjoy being around you more than others. Other tools to train the wit: check out /r/funny and see what people are joking about. Watch stand up on netflix anytime. Lookup the quotes from top movies (your favorites or just top comedies) - Sharing one-liners with my SO puts the biggest smile on her face. When you're the guy than…
/r/TheRedPill13/03/15 08:15 PM
1

Be a caregiver not a caretaker. As a some-day father, this is gold. Huge shift in mentality.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 07:04 PM
1

ugghh... that is the fear! I'm hedging my bets (and laying the foundation) for kids and a MILF wife. I know I'm an optimist, but that's it. Oh, and I am going to figure out how to get legally-binding prenup signed.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:26 PM
1

You're right on all front. I think I use the term "best friend" loosely. She's a best friend in the way/limitations that I can accept. I can joke with her, be sarcastic with her, go camping with her, etc. I cannot lean on her and unload my stress with her. I am very lucky to have real bros for everything else. I get your points and I think I'm doing it. Wedding already got bumped a while ago to mid 2016 so we can build a real foundation. Boundaries are being set, I think. But I know I still have…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:25 PM
1

Had a great talk with my SO last night about our Roles and Expectations in the relationship. She said yet again how happy she is with my new RP self. She said, "I will always follow your decisions/leadership with us because I know and trust that you always have the best interest of the family at heart. I trust you to lead." That felt DAMN good! Thank you RP and s_a. I'm laying a good foundation because of RP.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:17 PM
1

That. That's the right path. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:15 PM
1

Agreed with s_a. Sorry to hear about your current support/social network. That is a problem that can and has to be fixed. I shared everything with my SO for a few very stressful months. She took it like a champ. We both thought we were ok with it. Later I found out that she was buckling under the pressure (secretly) of managing her stress and my own. Sometimes it's an immediate vampire and other times it's an erosion of the relationship. Do not do this again. She wants a man that handles his shi…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:14 PM
1

Will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 02:05 PM
2

I like that analogy. However... Is it wrong to want to stick w/ the Capt/FO model primarily b/c of my username (which I had before discovering MRP)? I feel I have a vested interest.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 12:16 AM
3

wow... ok. That's eye opening.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 11:01 PM
4

If you have to refer to all women all the time as "bitches" and "plates" then you're not being Alpha or RP... you're being a self-righteous Beta in feeble disguise. Whether you choose being a player or a patriarch, you're making an RP choice to be a man. Sure, part of it is learning how to treat women differently to get the results that we want, but I believe that part of being an RP man is treating women with respect under all circumstances. The more I read on TRP, the more disgusting 99% of it…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 09:47 PM
1

Done! As usual s_a, great guidance. I absolutely have to great a system of self-reward (sounds dirty). I'm historically extrinsically motivated, seeking external validation, blah blah, Mr. Nice Guy, blah blah. Time to correct a lifetime of bad teaching!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 09:34 PM
1

I'm doing some over the counter stuff for short term. I really don't want prescription stuff until it's a last resort. But... Ambien is that good huh? Definitely looking for long term training on how to unplug. Got new blackout curtains which are amazing. Tried with the TV on; doesn't help. Using a blue-blocker on my phone now. Limiting caffein. Starting a sleep journal. I think the next steps are journalling my crazy thoughts long before bedtime, learning mediation and maybe a sound/white-noise…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 09:32 PM
1

I count my blessings that I found this board. Yes!! I do to! I understand the limitations of my friendship with my SO now and am completely ok with it. I will strengthen my support network and maintain it. I find that each of my friends has something to contribute whether they're BP or RP. Don't count them off just because they're not in the RP game. Just like your SO... know what you can and cannot count on them for.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 09:28 PM
1

"Conditional Love" that's exactly what it is. I have never believed in "Unconditional Love". Thanks for pointing that out. That "clicked". Thanks. I'm trying to find more areas of my life to convert from fear or worry to stoic awareness. It's working thanks to MRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 09:25 PM
3

Action 4 Do not let ‘Worry’ impede progress This is HUGE as an RP happy man. Don't waste time saying it's too late to start or re-start. It's only too late when you're dead. A few years back I moved to a place that had winter sports, for the first time in my life. I was the idiot adult on the hill snowboarding for the first time in my life while 12 yr olds were doing backflips around me. Felt pathetic at first. Until I started to appreciate a universal law - You HAVE to go through the "fail" sta…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 08:11 PM
1

Great job! Stopping my "pouting" was one of the top things I had to do. Way to maintain. As much as pouting turns them off, not pouting is a start to her being way more turned on.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 08:00 PM
1

Great for you. Seeing some immediate results are great. Keep it up even as the reactions thin out. No More Mr. Nice Guy changed my life forever.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 07:55 PM
2

Thank you. I can live with that. Looking back, I can see that confiding/commiserating with her about my fears and weakness hurt the relationship. So it didn't get good results for either of us. As long as there is a good support network outside of that, then I can accept the limitations of our communication. I can be her rock as long as I have others that can be my rock and I continue to grow stronger in my self-reliance.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 07:32 PM
1

I don't think you're hamstering, but it sounds unnecessarily isolationist and a self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness. If you have the right partner and the right friends in your support network, then you shouldn't be alone right? I mean, you'll make the best decisions you can and not everyone will agree, but they should be by your side out of mutual respect. I would prefer a statement more like, "Being a good man means deciding when others won't, acting when others can't and standing strong th…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 07:29 PM
1

Thanks for the expansion. I get it. The right Captain with the right First Mate sharing a unified vision are unstoppable. Just like the Captain doesn't beta-out on his Officers, I will not worry my wife with matters that can and should be dealt with internally or among my support network.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 07:20 PM
1

Great to hear on the 1st part. That is my strategy. On the 2nd part... man that's a hard pill to swallow. I want to believe there is a deeper love and deeper pact between us. But it's a fear I have. For now, I'm going to hope for the best but be aware of the possibility, instead of afraid of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 07:18 PM
2

Ha.. I don't think I'm able (yet) to block/bottle those emotions. They do seem to be handling themselves with regular workouts. But, luckily I do have friends I can count on to chat with, whether or not they are RP. I refuse to end up like my Dad, with 0 network outside the house.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 05:56 PM
1

Right?! Discovering CC's alone can change a life. Practicing Outcome Independence (OI) is a new cornerstone of my life. Oh, I've totally been that guy. As much as I hope that I'm an RP guy that gives her tingles nightly... the reality is different. I like the idea of showing my SO a night like that w/o expectation. Sometimes she gets a genuine gesture from you w/ no strings attached. I still believe that that reinforces the strength of the relationship to her and separates you from every other b…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 05:54 PM
1

ha! Rock on guys!! Luckily our relationship never got close to deadbedroom, but there were times that it got routine and she wasn't as into it. Now I have tools to keep that from happening to and tingle her back to excitement any time. And it feels WAY better stepping into an LTR when we can both look at each and honestly say "This is the best sex I've ever had!" RP should be a requirement for anyone looking to get engaged.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:31 PM
1

In which case I would read David Dieda's Way of the Superior Man next and the Meditations of Marcus Aralias soon. Since the new job and getting in my first life-partner situation, I haven't been sleeping well. Never have I had nights of insomnia, not being able to fall asleep or waking up at 3am alert while still exhausted. Does the Mediation book help out here at all?? I have to fix this.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:23 PM
2

Kino Great points. She totally wants to be gamed by her man. I get that now and I feel sooo lucky that I discovered this (all MRP) early on in our LTR. I used to do Kino consciously and sub- while dating around and it was such a fun game. You're right, I need to work it back into the relationship. Do you have any particularly good links? If not, I'll find stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:21 PM
1

Awesome! Thanks for that. Time to research.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:12 PM
1

I did exactly that while engaged. I thought I was being nice in letting her decide. I was being "Mr. Nice Husband" Luckily we figured it out after a couple rough months. We figured it out b/c I found MRP. I told her that I was going to make most of the decisions and stop asking her to. She explained how relieved she was to hear that. She does not want an equal partner, she wants a Captain she can follow so that she can be a "girl". Luckily, my SO is working hard to be the best first mate she can…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:04 PM
1

Right on! That's exactly what I need to shift to. Any suggestions on the best foods for bulking?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:12 PM
11

This. This is why I spend my time on MRP. Much less anger and teenage-angst. Much more appreciation for the roles of both genders and the value of a team. Thanks for the link to my text wall. MRP, I salute you.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 11:05 AM
1

Cheers! I do need to reward myself! Although I feel the great relationship and self changes are reward enough so far. I'm aware that there will be real challenge ahead that I have to prepare for. Being a natural people-person, I'm frankly nervous about the loneliness ahead. Any tips?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 10:55 AM
1

This is exactly what I'm excited about next! Thanks for the endorsements. Fighting the urge to skip right to SGM. Breaking out of being a "technician" and into a real alpha leader in bed is proving hard. I get all the right compliments but still not exactly sure what I truly selfishly want.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 10:51 AM
1

I need to learn more about dieting. I've been doing paleo for 6 months and love it, but I'm not strict or good at calorie management. I love it and I dropped 20 lbs right away and hover at my goal non-bulk weight consistently. Sleep is my biggest issue since I started the new job. Harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. I know that sleep is crucial to muscle recovery and bulking. Any tips? I'll have to read more on lifting and how to get the bulk. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 10:48 AM
1

Thanks. Really hope that it helps any lurkers waiting to try it. Really appreciate all your great comments on this sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 10:43 AM
2

Oh man. I got that. All positive!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 03:17 AM
1

I really agree with the cheerleader part. I feel that with her and i love it. I'm very glad/lucky to have found this before creating a decade of resentment. Please sell your books out of jewelry shops! Read them, then you can buy an engagement ring.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:44 AM
2

Rock on! Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:41 AM
2

Thanks for pointing that out. I see the issue with my parents. She'd love to do anything new. He wants to go to the same restaurants, same dates, same weekend getaways, etc. He craves the comfort of routine. I see her dying for something adventurous. I won't make the same mistake. Of course that's easy to say when the relationship is young. But I'll try to cement the adventure.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:41 AM
2

Thanks for the reminder. Almost didn't post b/c I'm sure there's a bunch of beginners luck here. I'm in it for the long game.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:38 AM
2

I've got a psych minor and have read tons of relationship and self help books... but never heard of 98% of this! What the hell?! Thank you. Great points. I think I come from a long line of men with covert contracts style. And I did catch myself with one today. All good. One more area to improve.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 02:37 AM
2

I've done the Adkins diet. I lost a crap load of weight, but never lost my belly fat. I've been slowly looking at (whatever that caveman diet it called), but haven't decided to go down that route yet. It's called the Paleo diet. I started it 6 months ago when a buddy of mine (who looks like a Mens Fitness model 24/7) told me about it. I dropped 20 lbs without breaking a sweat. It's primarily a low-carb diet, similar to Atkins, but no dairy and more veggies. Cut out the carbs and starches: sugars…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 09:23 PM
9

OP- This is a great example of the beta-husband or Mr. Nice Husband (although with no self-worth). That's exactly what I was taught to be. Better communication was always the answer. My SO is a stubborn, extroverted, alpha woman. When we got engaged I turned the Mr. Nice Husband on hard core. "Whatever you want." "What would make you happy?" "Let's talk about it." I was taught to share the leadership equally. She hated it and resented me for not leading. She resented me for throwing the stress o…
/r/TheRedPill11/03/15 07:31 PM
7

Hm... good point. Major swinging but he won't act.
/r/TheRedPill07/03/15 03:56 PM
5

Unconditional security does not lead to happiness. That was a huge lesson for me. Actually, still trying to live it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/15 10:12 PM
6

Agreed!! They don't want you to convince them that it's not a big deal because they feel that is a big deal and no logic will change that. Instead say "That sucks. It will be ok." and hug her. She feels safe in your arms, not in your logic. And that's advice from my own mother.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/15 09:55 PM
2

It's surprising how many guys play the blame game. Damn near everything in our lives is in some way our control. We may not like the hard work it takes to get to the goal line, but the attitude is still on us. We own our actions, our reactions, and our attitude towards everything. This sub has taught me how terribly off my tools have been for this problem. I identified the issues (which obviously isn't hard), and tried the solutions I knew. Man, I worked hard with the tools I had, only to get no…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/15 12:33 AM
4

For any of the 20-something guys that doubt and feel like it's all over... you are wrong. Event the Army knows that men reach their true peak athletic ability in late 20's to mid-30's. Then there are the guys that go TRP all the way athletically into their 50's and could crush most people. Physical ability mixed with mental maturity and determination is an awesome cocktail. My coworker is almost twice my age, works out at lunch and crushes marathons, ironmans and more. Whether you think you can …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/15 03:22 PM
2

Man, you are killing it. I agree. Yes, I can see some of the problems are abandonment issues from my parents divorce when I was young. Yes, it is 100% my problem an no one else's. I own my actions and the consequences. No blame for anyone else at all. I was plenty guilty of covert contracts and no outcome independence. The big challenge for me is going to be to figure out what I truly want. Self-awareness and self-honesty may be one some of the truest forms of enlightenment. I've taken cues from…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 04:18 PM
1

Yes!! Understood and agreed. That's why I like the books and forum here. Needing less external approval and validation. Working towards better self awareness and understanding more about her needs/desires than she can even articulate.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 03:44 PM
2

I get it. Definitely going to read through this weekend and focus on key points. The great thing is, she has directly stated several of the nice guy symptoms she doesn't like, so I know I'm on track. I get it. I get the issues, I get why they're issues, I will read and act. Yeah Krav Maga definitely feels great. Feeling like I can control when SHTF is great. Ha, you're right about the perspective. Very Fight Club. The volume for everything else gets turned down. Thanks. Moving forward one step a…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 01:42 PM
2

Thank you for explaining those points. I now easily see how I was ignoring my needs thinking it was being nice, building resentment and being passive agressive. I get what you're saying and why it's important.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/15 01:04 PM
3

Yeah, I figured that was the answer. I like the 6 months plan. Best of all words.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:35 PM
3

Ok. What's the RP way?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:28 PM
4

I get it. I definitely cringe at hearing or thinking about any stories with my girls promiscuous past. But I'm giving her (us) every chance until I sign a contract. I don't believe in "the one" and the "unicorn" but I believe in the science of personalities that work together. Much more of our personalities mesh than anyone else I've dated. And, as many of most of us know, when it's good, it's amazing. We give it 6 months. The wedding isn't until next year. I give it my all with this and other t…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:20 PM
2

Jesus guys!! Enough of the graphic details, this is a woman I am in love with. Yes, she's been around the block. I had a well-earned reputation as a player, not because I could pick up any girl at the bar, but because I put myself in places where I scored plenty with the girls I wanted, how I wanted. I didn't pedestal her. Through years of crap, she finally grew up. I can either accept her past or condemn her for it. I believe we have a happy future together. That said... I'm not married yet and…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:13 PM
3

Thanks man for the encouraging words. I'm beyond eager to learn and act.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 07:09 PM
2

Thanks man. ha! I think that's my biggest fear in all of them. 31 years of living the good life as a "Nice Guy" (yes it was good, not just me pretending). I can't stand the idea of now being an asshole. But I see that a "benevolent asshole" and the qualities of: decisiveness, confidence, drive, etc. as very good qualities to build in both relationships and career.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 06:48 PM
3

hey... I think there was misunderstanding in my post. I'm pointing out that with just a weekend of reading the forum here that I've identified dozens of things I've been doing wrong. Everything I posted there I now know as crap behavior. I'm owning everyone one of these, and those yet undiscovered. This is my "confession" post. I'll keep reading, learning and changing them daily. Permission Mentality - Runs very deep with me. Yes, I'm shaking it. Communication Problem - Great points on this and …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 06:46 PM
3

Agreed!! I've always always believed that communication is the solution to everything. Boy, I'm seeing otherwise here. The more we were frustrated at each other, the hard I put my communication rules to work and the more she resented it. So now, I see that covert communication will get better responses than overt, over-communication. I'm on board with that. And I'll definitely keep testing it. I'm dying to tell her about this stuff, but I know that's a bad move. So I'm chatting with a few of the…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 06:28 PM
4

Well... you've hit on one of my biggest fears of all. You went right for it. My learned behaviors have worked great until now. Luckily, I'm still learning and expect that this will work. I'm all in. Fair observation. She's been telling me for 14 years that I'm her soul mate. I never was ready for her. She finally grew up and I fell in love. It's a bit less of "You're my backup plan" and more "Holly shit, you're finally asking me out?!" That said... I know it's not 100% either way, but I choose t…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 06:21 PM
8

You're right. My eyes are opening. Since my parents divorce, I've chosen a life of being "the good kid" which meant if they were happy with me, I was happy. Now it's time to learn to build my own happiness. She's been as clear as she could and I've had issues understanding. I own that and am making changes. I'm definitely going to practice being more selfish. Despite the beta fears.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 05:05 PM
1

Wow... you just nailed my beta. I have been the dog seeking validation. I have promised things and not delivered. oh man. My assertive woman wants a type-A leader. Rock on!!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/15 11:15 PM
1

Huge fan of lists. If it's not written, then it's not important. Check out the free app/site Trello.com. Visual project manager with boards, lists, cards and checklists. Easy for both of you to pick up in 10 min. Create separate accounts, create and share a "house stuff" board, then create cards for each of the items she wants fixed. There you can add links to sites, pictures of options, prices, and checklist of the things necessary to get it done. Oh... and due dates to keep people honest. Ther…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/15 11:12 PM
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