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Clean_Fly_3748 Archive

View 3 posts and 53 comments by Clean_Fly_3748 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Like life, daring is what you make it! Dating was amazing for me post divorce…1) you dont waste time, you KNOW what you’re looking for and the women are plentiful and excited to be with a good man! Go out there with confidence and you’ll find love!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 07:55 AM
13

I HATE to say this because I’m such a strong believer/proponent of marriage and family…..but my divorce has been one of the best things that’s happened to me. I’m happier…..healthier (lost a lot of weight and don’t have to deal with the ups and downs of a bad marriage….life feels lighter…I hang out with my friends/family more……I travel…..got a promotion at work….AND I met an amazing woman and we have an amazing relationship! The only thing is my spiritual life isn’t what it used to be (I can wor…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:54 PM
4

And BTW, I’m 50. LOTS OF OPTIONS! Life is what you make it
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:52 PM
5

It’s been great for me! Lots of options! You’re a man….don’t overthink it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:43 PM
4

You don’t HAVE to do anything. The divorce decree explicitly states what’s supposed to happen. Refi or pay off. Nothing else matters. I went through something similar but in reverse. My divorce decree stated I only had to make “best effort to assume”. My lawyer put that language in my decree and it’s been 2 years since my divorce and I’m still in the process of assuming one last mortgage. My Ex took me back to court because it was taking too long. My lawyer put “best effort to assume” language i…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 08:25 PM
4

Absolutely and without question.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 07:48 PM
3

NO!!! Don’t do that!!! I went through the exact same thing. You keep fighting!!! Now, let me explain to you what fighting really means. Don’t respond to all that BS! I used to until I realized it really didn’t matter….none of it came up in court and the lawyers love it because it drives up legal fees. Just go to court and the judge will split everything equitably. Case closed (pun intended). If you give her everything, the hurt you’re feeling now will pale in comparison to not being able to see …
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:29 PM
1

This is straight from the scorned, bitter woman’s playbook. Happened to me and happened to a lot of us. Leave the house if you can and if not, record everything and put cameras up. Fortunately for me, my male judge knew exactly what she was going doing and called her out on it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:29 PM
1

There’s no real advantage to g your STBX is a decent and reasonable person. If she’s shady then file first. If she goes down the abuse route, it looks odd that you were such a monster but you filed for divorce. Me filing first neutralized my ex’s bogus claims. I do agree with the comments that you filing controls the timeline
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:25 PM
3

You’ve gotten a lot of good advice! I would add that life is too variable to paint yourself in a corner by only thinking about limited outcomes. You’re divorced now so let her go (any past thoughts, thinking about her wonderful life, comparing your situation to hers, etc). Just focus on 1) rebuilding then 2) building past what you had. You were smart and blessed enough to achieve previously and now you have more freedom to achieve even more! As men, we have incredible capacity to make that happe…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 06:13 PM
6

15 months. We had equal salaries and went through a guardian ad litem process (custody battle and the recommendation was joint custody) so there was NO reason for it yo take as long as it did. But, she tried every trick in the book (I.e, false domestic violence claim) and nothing worked. Judge saw through it all and told her to settle out of court. It was a sweet victory for me, but at the end of the day, divorce is rough on kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 11:33 AM
3

Just live life and accept whatever comes. I was emotionally, financially and physically happy after my divorce so I started dating. Had A LOT of fun and ended up meeting my dream woman. Wasn’t planned…wasn’t looking for it…wasn’t forced….it just happened. And having even more fun!!!! Let life play out and like others have said, continue to focus on YOU and your kids. Doing that will almost guarantee wonderful outcomes
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:09 PM
2

Move out ASAP and record every interaction with her! My EX did the same thing but I recorded the alleged incident and it was dropped in court! It actually helped me in divorce court because the judge knew these games. Stay strong and come back here for support. This groups helped me immensely
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:29 PM
3

Gesheesh! My ex worked the whole time so I feel I got out relatively clean: no child support, $130k from my 401k, I get most of our investment properties, she gets marital home, 50/50 joint legal and physical custody
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 09:59 PM
10

Don’t move out! And just as importantly, DO NOT let her provoke you to react to anything. She’ll do that to build a case against you
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:55 PM
1

Gattsama, can you send that to me too?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 06:40 PM
1

I agree with all that’s been stated this far! I had a TPO filed against me and got it dismissed because I recorded the supposed event. Stay home and don’t let her provoke you! A lawyer is invaluable and just know the person you married isn’t the person you’re divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 06:40 PM
2

Step 1 = get a lawyer Step 2 = accept the fact that the person you married isn’t the same as the person you divorce Step 3 = don’t let her provoke you in anyway! You lose your cool, you lose leverage
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:14 AM
5

That estimate is for a straight forward case. $20k+ for very emotional cases and most of that will be emails, responding to emails and motions.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 05:47 PM
3

~$5-$10k In my experience (I’m going through it now), a low cost, competent lawyer is the way to go. My STBXW hired the largest divorce firm in my city and her costs triple mines. I don’t see the cost/benefit of her decision…once you get past the emotions, it’s a pretty straight forward case.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 05:46 PM
11

Highly recommend a lawyer. If everything stays on course, then great for you and the billable hours will be at a minimum. If things go sideways, and they often do, then it’ll be the best money you’ll spend. The lawyer will help you protect your interests and future.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 03:09 PM
2

You’re definitely not a failure and your sentiment just shows you’re a great dad. Like GemEx said: , 1) get a lawyer, 2) prepare for the lies and false accusations, 3) don’t let her move you off your spot (meaning, she will probably try to instigate things, 4) go for joint custody (courts find this reasonable, will show your mature and interested in what’s best for the kids)
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 02:06 AM
3

Of course man! My STBXW is trying to take my girls from me, knowing I’ve been active and in their lives the entire time! We just have to hold strong and ensure. Our kids will continue to benefit from our strength!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 10:45 PM
1

Who cares (I know you do but trying to reframe for you)! You’re the father regardless of what she or anyone else says…..and probably doing a much better job of being a parent than most.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 08:50 PM
8

Don’t move out yet….especially if you have kids. while you stay, don’t fall for any of her tricks to get you to move out (calling the police, restraining orders, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 11:52 PM
1

You can that he cares so much, I bet he’d do just fine. Love’em! Care for’em! Provide for’em! Discipline’em! Have fun with’em! I BET he can do this easily! All good parents do!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 11:45 PM
2

Like the other poster stated, 23&me is the easiest way to do this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 10:06 PM
2

Get a lawyer….as I’m going through my process now, I’ve definitely seen a shift in my STBXW and how aggressive she’s become. Told things remain civil and straightforward, great! You’ll get your retainer refunded. But it’s likely not to remain civil.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:45 PM
5

This club has truly been a blessing! While I hate we all had to, having to or will have to go through this, nothing like a supportive group of men to give advice and share their experiences! Happy to help!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 08:29 PM
1

Yes, that is CRAZY! I’m going through the same thing. How do you manage this?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:40 PM
1

Congrats and happy for you! This is a win for great dads!! How did you prove it?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 11:24 PM
1

TY!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 08:33 AM
2

Congrats! As long as you are happy with the outcome! How did you and your lawyer prepare?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:56 PM
1

Pre-paid legal could be an option. The best lawyers aren’t necessarily the most expensive ones. A competent lawyer is all you need unless your situation is “hairy” (FYI - that felt weird typing)! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:46 PM
1

Go file and don’t leave the house. RhTs how they get leverage and the upper hand. With that, keep under control and don’t let her provoke you to do something stupid
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:23 PM
2

Lol!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:43 AM
2

She makes good money so she can pay it….with that, she has an incredibly expensive law firm. Like super expensive!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:03 PM
1

Were you able to use her shady tax ways to your benefit in court (if it got that far)? If so, how did that play out? You made me think to add this to my list of points against her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:02 PM
1

Ah man, great point throw! I’m using that in negotiations!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:48 PM
2

Exactly! She even disagrees with the GALs final recommendation. She wont agree or even discuss anything else. BTW, GAL got a promotion and will no longer be involved in the case, so can’t talk about the kids behavior with her. I’ve let my attorney know about this. Our income is around the same, so that knocks out alimony (I think). She’s going to claim abuse and I’m a hostile parent, but the GAL report was very complimentary to me and my relationship with the girls. I totally agree with you abou…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 10:07 AM
1

Appreciate your wisdom!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 01:11 AM
3

Thank you EMedia!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 12:46 AM
2

Good stuff Old-Mac! 200% agree! I’ve fought for 50/50 through the GAL process and will keep fighting for it. Also documenting how she’s turning the kids against me. I just don’t see how this works out for her, but I’m preparing like it’s game 7
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 12:29 AM
3

Thanks for the heads up 47!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 12:07 AM
1

And yes, there is a custody dispute. She wants full custody….I filed, so I’ve asked for joint. The GAL has recommended joint (more like 60/40, 55/45)
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 12:07 AM
1

Have no clue. She won’t talk and her and her lawyer have not engaged in ANY negotiations. Knowing her, she thinks she’s going to get a better deal with the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 12:06 AM
3

Interesting! I haven't heard about that burden of proof. Meaning what ever false claims she'll make, the burden of proof is on her, otherwise it won't matter?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 09:49 PM
1

AToo2, nice! I didn’t realize it, but she’s tried me a couple of times already, but I have such internal peace! She brought her family over and tried to provoke me…..it didn’t work. I stayed calm, greeted all of them and left the house. To your point, I blow my leverage if I ever let her get to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 06:14 PM
2

Wow!!!! Amazing advice! Thanks for helping me realize the long, healthy game is the game I should be playing! To your point, I’m pouring myself into work, have lost 30 lbs….. I can see a better me developing (way more patient, healthier, more energy, etc). Once we get to court, my goal is to show the father I’ve always been (a lot of content in the GAL Report validates this)s. Thank you again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 05:48 PM
3

Despite my kids getting pressure not to engage with me, I just can’t see how their strategy is going to work especially since I can show how active I’ve always been in their lives! Bless you man!!! Sooooo encouraging!!!! Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 04:10 AM
3

Great advice and thank you!! Right now, we’re all still in the same house. Despite wasting time in mediation, she had no interest in any settlement discussion, so I don’t know what the living arrangements will be post divorce. Does that change your advice?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 03:55 AM
1

Great advice B_Advance! How do you fight for 50/50 when she has already alienated the kids? We are in the same house, but she told told them not to talk to me and moved them downstairs to the basement with her
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:29 PM
2

GAL interactions have been great. My wife has swayed my daughters big time. Their initial testimony to the GAL was, "we have to have 50/50 with our dad and mom, we love both of them"......to "we want 4 days with mom, 3 days with dad".
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 02:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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