TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Curious-Confusion642 Archive

View 3 posts and 108 comments by Curious-Confusion642 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

See THATS what's changed. Ive done exactly that. Go to a place and make a genuine contextual comment. There is NEVER any conversation after. It's one words answers at best and then the other person disengages. I think it's a massive cultural shift that's taken place over the past 15-20 years with smartphones.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 10:28 PM
2

Nice. I guess a big part of this was that attraction was already there for you guys.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 10:26 PM
2

Sure. Ive don't that for one sports league I'm part of. It was after class and I've had to force the issue. I've never really been in nay group where it happened organically besides this.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 10:24 PM
1

Why ain't suboptimal? For it to be suboptimal you'd have to say the alternatives are relatively better.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 10:21 PM
4

I was a good salsa dancer actually. Nobody talked or built comminity. People came to class. Did the dance practice. Left. It was a 1 hour class twice a week. Sure we had friendly conversations and all but that was about it. After the hour was done everyone packed up and left. For community you need time. Basically you need to have a third space where you all just come sit around and banter and talk shit about whatever. That's what builds bonds which ultimately builds communities.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 05:07 PM
1

Yeah that's true. Most meet through community. But community is dying (if not already dead). Many redpill men are there exactoy because they lacked community. But good advice regardless.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 04:52 PM
1

Oh wow that sounds very complicated with the coworker. I'm glad it worked out at least.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 02:48 PM
0

What caught your attention and what did you see in him?
/r/ExRedPill09/08/26 02:02 PM
1

Ok so I was inf a dance group once learning salsa and bachata. Did that for an year. The people there over the course of the year formed deeper friendships. After a few months they'd hang out after the class and do things. I was never really invited. Myself I was always an "outsider". Now looking back I see that I wasn't picking up on unspoken communication rules and what not that made the bond slowly deeper between the people there. Its like they'd joke and the other person would laugh and they…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/26 11:05 AM
-1

Check my post history. I posted a question about approaching women on here and was lit the fuck up and crucified. I don't even know if it's ok to approach anymore or not. Women don't know themselves what is appropriate or isn't.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/26 10:17 AM
1

What you are saying is logical on paper......but time and time again I see the people who have the most results are the ones approaching the most. If this were really a totally failing strategy pickup artistry wouldn't exist at all because it would never work 100/100 times. But it does work even if it's only 20/100 times. Why is that? Explain me this please. If it were so all encompassingly bad like you suggested nobody would ever do it. To answer your question and put myself in the woman's shoe…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/26 09:57 AM
1

No lol. Im not there to just hit on people. I've had the same stonewalling in all male groups too. Tbh I think I'm on the spectrum now and just am not relating to others the way that neurotypical people are.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/26 11:00 PM
2

Fair enough. But better then being broke and having 0 succes with the ladies 😂
/r/ExRedPill19/07/26 10:23 PM
1

Like I can be around them and be friendly and all but just can't "click" beyond basic formalities.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/26 08:04 PM
1

Thank you man. I greatly appreciate that you genuinely could've just not bothered replying as I see you've already got multiple paying clients and a big Instagram following. Hopefully I can do this on my own but if ever needed and I am better financially I will know where to go. Thanks once again. I will not forget this 🙏
/r/ExRedPill17/07/26 03:33 AM
3

Yeah of course. . Wishing you continued success
/r/ExRedPill17/07/26 02:34 AM
1

Ah ok i get it now. It all makes sense. That was very well explained. Unfortunately I can't afford a dating coach as such right now. So I'm figuring out cold approaching on my own. About 5-10 a week but hoping to increase that. Im just having a hard time figuring out appropriate day time venues to do it at the moment.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 09:27 PM
9

Real question is bow the hell did you end up owning multiple physiotherapy clinics before 30? Thats lots of down payments and clients to acquire.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 06:13 PM
3

I think with owning multiple physiotherapy clinics he's doing plenty fine.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 06:09 PM
8

It's popular amongst immigrant guys in the west too. My belief is because the culture is repressive and backwards and discourages dating before marriage (specifically Islam) so you don't really learn to relate to women like normal people. Hell at my best friends wedding (Afghan guy who got an arranged marriage) all the women and men there were segregated by a wall in the middle.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 06:08 PM
1

But regular people are getting laid, getting into relationships and all. The vast majority don't need dating coaches or cold approach. Now I will grant you those relationships are not ideal and there may be some settling going on but still most "regular people" aren't really having volume issues as such. If they get into a breakup they get into another relationship later. All without ever doing cold approach.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 06:05 PM
1

But like anything this isn't black and white and CAN be worked upon. Lack of success doesn't imply total outright rejection. (Also I have had some success at nightclubs when I was younger and in shape/better looking. And have also gotten a couple of numbers approaching on university campus during that age)
/r/ExRedPill15/07/26 12:56 PM
1

25 and above. Right now not approaching anywhere cause I'm reevaluating everything. Otherwise the beaches and streets during the day. And nightclubs and bars at night.
/r/ExRedPill15/07/26 12:54 PM
1

Warm approach: getting to know someone beforehand over the course of a long period of time before asking them out. Cold approach: approaching and expressing your intention right off the bat in settings like bars, clubs, random places etc.
/r/ExRedPill15/07/26 12:43 PM
1

I'm 30
/r/ExRedPill15/07/26 01:10 AM
1

What do you think about cold vs warm approach?
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 11:43 PM
1

Damn. Why do you think that is for you? And yeah I agree it's helpful to learn skills that at least get you until attraction.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 08:55 PM
1

But I have put in the work in the past. That was precisely my point go begin with. Hell I became an expert Latin dancer and stand up comedian through putting in all the work for years. There wasn't much more I could add to that besides doing cold approach. But now im seeing even me going 100% every remaining minute of my life will simply not be enough to cover the deficit I've built up. It's like me trying become LeBron James picking up a basketball at 30. Anything is possible and I'm trying to …
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:24 PM
1

Tbh it's over. I don't think I have any chance at all. It's too much to learn and too late for me.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 10:06 AM
1

Yeah I've been to clubs dozens of times. Sat and honestly did this. Couldn't pick any of this behaviour up quite honestly. Bascially what I am understanding now is I'm so far behind mentally it's basically over for me. Any action I take at all is futile. It's like being an amputated baby trying to play on the French national football team. But thanks anyways. I appreciate your help.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 04:40 AM
-1

That's still a social hierarchy. A neurotypical druggie who's around other druggies is still up in that relative social hierarchy
/r/ExRedPill14/07/26 12:24 AM
1

Basically the advice is to get ahead in the social hierarchy.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 10:22 PM
1

I think I now get it. Putting yourself in a position for most neurotypical people means just showing up to things they enjoy and it all automatically unravels till they have a partner. I simply can't see what your saying and am just not wired like that. I go do things meet people and then we part ways. Over and over again. This has yielded me 0 positive outcomes. I probably will continue doing this but also try cold approaching cause I'll fire on all cylinders and instead of asking Reddit I will…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 09:56 PM
0

If say my hobbies are chess and soccer and there's 4 married women there I've effectively locked myself out of the dating market. I can know them down to their blood type but it's not gonna change anything.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 09:49 PM
-1

Options are to put yourself out there which is vague advice. Going to soccer I was putting myself out there but didn't get shit.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 09:47 PM
4

Based on his views of relationships being transactional he was the kind of guy that should've been seeing prostitutes all along to remain coherent with his worldview but chose to keep getting married over and over again for some reason. Could've avoided so much suffering for himself and others.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 09:33 PM
1

So you were at some event for a purpose, saw some women there, connected with them and that's how it worked?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:55 PM
1

Oh my bad.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:54 PM
0

Yeah I'm cooked then fam. Didn't understand any of that and probably might not be able to pick up on it now any time soon. What does it even mean when to "flirt on the dance floor" or signal interest like thsy
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:53 PM
1

I have never been included in outside social events by the people Ive met. For example my dance friends have stayed friends in dance class while we were there and never have invited me to an outside thing. It feels like eveyone is living on a different universe holy fuck.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:39 PM
1

Ok yeah that's a very valid point. But then how do bars/nightclubs fit here? That's full of strange men who are also fueled by alcohol so even more dangerous. How is that more acceptable?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:36 PM
1

You're really gonna tell me a 5'4 immigrant Asian autistic guy will have the same dating advice work for him as Dolph Lundgren?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:27 PM
1

I try and fail over and over again tbh. Maybe this just isn't for me. After hours of reading comments I still don't "get it"
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:25 PM
-1

Your assuming most guys have alot of options. Bh following this advice I narrow down the field I have limited options and will be shot down anyways while having invested all this time and effort into one woman. I am not looking for notches but even getting into one simple relationship requires massive amounts of volume unfortunately.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:25 PM
1

Ok. Tell us why you think you're successful.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:18 PM
1

I'm open to making new friends. It's just that I never am able to. Nobody wants to hang out. I am always the one reaching out first
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:12 PM
1

Well I'm not like a shut in incel or anything. I've been outgoing and confident situationally. Used to do stand up comedy and can chat up strangers still. People at work wouldn't describe me as shy or quiet or anything like that. But when it comes to making friends outside structured environments to hang out or romantic stuff like expressing intent I'm pretty underdeveloped and what I am seeing now is that im pretty much screwed outside of online dating.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 08:09 PM
1

They got into those social circles by doing activities and clicking with the people there. Probably cause they were very neurotypical and didnt have personality issues growing up.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 07:24 PM
1

So then why does everyone hate on cold approaching?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 07:20 PM
1

That word was redundant. I meant social circles they are already in.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 07:06 PM
2

Yeah good point. Perhaps I don't have that ability to empathize like others and maybe at 30 it's too late to learn. Like you're bar example is so out of the wheelhouse of what I could do i don't think it's something i would ever even think of doing. I have tried therapy but more or less gotten the same advice.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 07:05 PM
1

People don't have to actively think about getting into a relationship. They just socialize and ultimately are somehow in a relationship after. That's what I mean by fall into it.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:42 PM
2

My only conclusion hoenstly is I'm probably on the spectrum and simply can't see it. Like a dog can't see colour.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:36 PM
1

A stranger making small talk respectfully and when they finish asking if they'd like to grab soem coffee some time or giving them their number (or backing off and wishing them a good day) isn't a huge risk either. Stop catastrophizing an otherwise completely normal thing men have been doing for centuries.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:35 PM
-1

All dating related stuff is a risk. When any guy approaches you at a bar or makes a move for kiss/asks you back to his place it's gonna make the majority of women uncomfortable. Also obviously you back off if she's not interested. This doesn't have to be said. But your taking my words however you want to.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:29 PM
1

Thanks that's a good technique but I couldn't see this working for myself. I simply don't have friends like that I hang out with at bars to begin with.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:27 PM
2

Yes. I did say that. Either nobody would go or it would only be one or two guys who would be willing to hang out afterwards.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:23 PM
-2

Maybe. Maybe not. Gotta do some cold approach to find out. I've heard ratios anywhere from 1/100 to 1/10. It probably is gonna be uncomfortable and off-putting for the majority but I just need one....
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:23 PM
-2

This is literally what dating apps are doing but nobody is complaining about them. It takes microseconds to swipe left/right. And yeah sure if I could build a deep connection with a someone without cold approaching and it somehow naturally materializes I would do it but it's not happening. Hence volume.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:11 PM
-1

Not really. They just all more or less say go do things and things magically happen where they end up cultivating connections and community and such whereas my experience has been the opposite. You go just do things, nothing happens and nobody cares to make a connection anywhere. Everyone is there for the activity and nothing else. Forget tail, I didn't even get friends. (And there is nothing wrong with pursuing either through activities btw).
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 06:02 PM
0

? Knowing how to ride a bike is a tool to make commuting easier. Knowing how to cook is a tool to make eating and nutrition easier. Knowing how to talk to strangers is a tool to make dating easier. I am not wrong or demeaning anyone or anything here.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 05:50 PM
0

Real life interactions don't work like this. Hell even the busker id give as little attention to as I would the beggar. Let me show you what happens in real life. I was at a hot yoga studio. Did it for like 8 months. Same people same place. Sometimes even came early before class and stayed after to make small talk. Nobody bothered. We did our pleasantries and it all just stayed there just like that for months on end. Everybody wanted to go do the activity itself and leave. Then when I quit that …
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 05:31 PM
1

See like now your telling me two people just met volunteering and meeting a few times while other people on here are suggesting getting to know someone over a long period of time and then making the move. It's honestly all so tiresome.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 05:16 PM
0

Getting to know people is even more difficult and low results then spamming cold approaches. I am tired of typing but there's a myriad of reasons why that you can read through the comments and see for yourself. So far all the advice I've gotten has been really vague generic slop of getting to know people and do hobbies. It's all so useless for most guys struggling with dating to begin with.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 05:02 PM
1

Any reccomednations?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 04:53 PM
1

Soccer, improv, dancing and stand up comedy
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 04:53 PM
1

Looking for guidance on approaching strangers
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 04:51 PM
0

Yeah this is it basically. You wrote exactly what I was feeling deep down. Mainstream advice is bad and alternatives are poor.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 04:49 PM
1

Nobody sticks around though. I've found even after getting social media contacts nobody is interested in doing things outside of the activity itself to build a deeper connection.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 04:01 PM
3

Of course I talked to them bht I should've asked them out if I'm interested. Just be direct and maybe cause a bit of awkwardness but at least I would've shot my shot. Not trying to infinitely brefriend women and ultimately friendzone myself constantly just to prevent some awkwardness.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:55 PM
2

To be honest I did run into a couple. I was just unsure if I should ask them out or not. I didn't really get an "receptive energy" from them and I was afraid I'd make it weird if I did ask them out.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:36 PM
1

Basically women ideally would pick and choose from their preselected social circles......which nobody has really helped explain how guys can get into.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:17 PM
1

-Dating apps barely get you any matches if your not good looking. -Speed dating once again the ratio to the last one I went to 1:3 in favour of men and the women seemed way more disinterested then the men and some were actually married friends of the host who just brought them in to get more men to attend -Everyone keeps saying to have a "rich social life" but 90% of the comments here have failed to even define what this is and how to get it beyond just crashing random hobbies over and over agai…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:16 PM
-2

So be skillful with it then. At the very least getting rejected cause she's turned is still better then 0% chance you have when you never approach to begin with.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:13 PM
1

Honestly man I'm doing both now. That's the only way this makes sense. Gonna do hobbies 3 days and cold approach 2 days. See what works better. I have a feeling cold approach will yield more results.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:11 PM
2

Yeah I thought about this. Not a bad idea tbh.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:56 PM
-4

Women engage nowhere near as much in gender neutral activities as men. Go to meetup.com and nearly all the meetups that aren't explicitly femme (makeup, zoomba etc) will be dominated by men. Dancing is one exception that I have found I'll admit. I mean this is simple supply and demand economics. Women are spending their free time better if they get a more desirable guy so therefore if there are more guys overall there will be more desirable guys too so there are "better ways" for women to spend …
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:49 PM
1

Well there isn't a hard line for cold approaching either but people keep recxomending against it. The hobbies I had in the past were soccer, improv, dancing and some stand up comedy I did here and there.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:40 PM
4

Thanks for writing this. It's no garuntee that it will get me to a goal but appreciate all the little things I can probably further hone in and improve upon.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:33 PM
1

I'm not a redpiller at all. Never was and dislike the ideology of seeing people as fungible objects I just see cold approaching as going up to strangers and shooting your shot and that should be totally appropriate. The thing I noticed though was that the only people teaching this are redpillers themselves and non redpillers don't have great strategies or dating advice for the average guy as they seem to have just stumbled into it in their lives.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:22 PM
1

I live in a very major city. Go to meetups often. Same story every time. New cycle of dudes and 1 woman they are all chasing. Had hobbies in the past I pursued but apparently it's not appropriate or somethign to ask someone out your going to be seeing over and over.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:06 PM
1

Well if there's nothing wrong why are people on here so against cold approaching? You think this is just the sample bias of this subreddit?
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:04 PM
1

To be honest it's just dudes signing up to these mostly on meetup.com last time I checked the philosophy meetip. Almost every hobby I've done besides dancing has been a sausage fest. At least at nightclubs there's a small very miniscule chance of getting something.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:54 PM
1

Yeah there is one autism meetup I have went to. Also 90% dudes. Most of them single and way more on the spectrum then me. I don't think they are coping very well either lol.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:49 PM
2

See this sounds like it should work and is logical but in my experience it has not. The other person is rarely interested to that extent. Most people are on the "no" side rather then the yes side when it comes to deeper conversations.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:45 PM
1

Yeah I mean I prefer artsy philosophical bookish type people. I can narrow it down sure. But I don't have the luxury to be that selective and I find rarely does it work out in the end cause there just isn't that many people equally interested in you if you narrow it down this much.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:38 PM
3

This is what I'm thinking too. Nobody seems to provide a very coherent explanation beyond just do things and the right person will come. To me it really does seem to all be luck and having "stumbled into it".
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:30 PM
3

Yeah 100% I am somewhat neurodiverse. But I don't want "not fitting in" to be an excuse to not try. Also I've made friends at work and in school in the past so it's not totally a lost cause. I personally nust don't like using it as an explanation cause I know if I accept this why even try? Might as well fire up the Xbox, eat Doritos and call some hookers for companionship
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:27 PM
1

Well ideally a long term monogamous relationship with a normal person. And yeah probably some communities are better then others for finding that I admit.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:22 PM
1

I have no idea at this point. People just seem to stumble into friends and relationship whereas for me it's like an entire engineering project almost.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:04 PM
4

Yeah i mean I said say see you next class.....then I'd see her next class 😂. That's about all there is to it. The comments are always very surface level and literal I find. Nobody really care that much. I don't see the hook or the spark forming anywhere there. That just doesnt happen. If I died on the way to class in a car crash at best it'll be like oh he didn't show up this week.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:02 PM
3

Yeah that's how I think it should be too.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 12:24 PM
4

Well take dance for example. I did salsa and bachata. I went to class. Did the thing. Left. So did everyone else. Nobody really talked with anyone or made new friends. The activity itself was the focus of it. I didn't see the whole community building aspect of it anywhere.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 12:23 PM
1

To be honest with you I have been part of multiple groups/hobbies and what not and havent made a single lasting connection. I've never met anyone through these where I could say if I need a drive to the hospital I can call them. I've talked to the coworker, gym buddies, old lady at the store etc and have found people just don't want to connect at all. So yeah absolutely the lack of "meaningful connection" is what has led to this ultimately. If I didn't have to cold approach I wouldn't honestly. …
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:51 AM
0

How does one "expand" their social circle? I have hobbies. But everyone just does the activity (soccer, yoga, dance etc) and then leaves. I've had multiple hobbies and haven't retained one single connection through them. For things to stick you need the same people over and over again and actual time to just banter and talk about random things. Most activities aren't set up like that and most people just don't care to do that too much to make new friends. That's just the honest reality of it. If…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:44 AM
-3

Also there just aren't that many women in the "slow and natural" venues. Go to meetup.com and see any event it will be 80-90%+ guys.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:41 AM
-10

Everything is a call center
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:38 AM
-2

I think you are underestimating how difficult it is to find that "1 person" who is a match for the average guy. If you are not getting matches and you don't have a big and wide social circle you are pretty much screwed.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:37 AM
-5

I'm not though. It's a tool. Obviously I will not do it if I get into a relationship and if other avenues had worked I would've used them instead.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 11:35 AM
1

See that's where it's a bit different. I can approach strangers, make small talk or whatever. But when it goes beyond mundane surface level talk that's when it becomes really hard. Like I can ask them for directions/compliment them on their style or wherever but to actually get to know them and what not is where I draw a blank completely.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:13 AM
-4

Depending on your specific context, it can much harder building a social life. If for example you work at home, live in smaller town, can't find clubs where you meet the same people over and over again etc.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 03:09 AM
-3

But I don't agree that the best option is to not approach at all then. Most guys do not have the luxury to wait for someone else to ask them out. You have to create chances where you see them. Be extremely mindful obviosily that if others are uncomfortable you back off immediately.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:29 AM
-1

You meet more women ---> ask out more women ---> you get more opportunities
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 02:27 AM
2

I mean I agree. Personally I need help JUST with approaching and approach anxiety. Everything else afterwards is me being myself. On dating apps pretty much I am myself with everyone and that's how I want to appear in person as well.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:16 AM
1

Ok thanks. I'll check him out
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 01:13 AM
0

True. But in terms of people currently actively teaching guys how to approach women I can't find a good coach at all.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 12:10 AM
1

Lol. Your saying basically to be a coconut or an oreo. White on the inside black/brown on the outside 😂.
/r/seduction01/10/23 01:16 PM
1

Yup 100% agree. I went to Japan and came to the same conclusion.
/r/seduction01/10/23 01:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter