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Curiouslywastingtime Archive

View 11 posts and 73 comments by Curiouslywastingtime on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

She’s an alcoholic. When she drinks, she likes to make things up in her mind and go on the offensive. IMHO, she’s covering up her own actions by accusing me of similar behavior. I’d love to waive my evidence in her face and say “shut the fuck up! This is what you’ve done.”
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:32 PM
2

I have gone through her phone. I’ve found plenty of evidence that could support an infidelity claim. Meet ups that align to my business travel, his txts asking her to meet up for dinner, drinks and staying over his house. Videos of her attending his events while I was aaay. Her responses to him going back to his eggs. Her sharing that data with her girlfriends. He bought her a car My question is asking the community if they have confronted their SO about this type of behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:20 PM
3

Support is a challenge. You have your hands full with your job, homes, kids, inability to consistently pick winners in the NFL.Then you discover that the reason your relationship has gone cold is her focus is on someone else. It’s hard to find support in men. My female friends are very helpful. You have to focus on self improvement physically to help as an outlet to your frustration and anger. I’m 60 and starting my divorce. Financially, it will hurt deep. But, I won’t have all of the stress of …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 01:42 PM
4

I’ve left my iPhone in her car and tracked it on tablet. She didn’t go where she said she was so, I confirmed my suspicion. In the end, she lies and puts our finances at risk by driving intoxicated. The facts are what they are, I just need to see it through and focus on me
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:43 PM
2

Yep, the records aren’t complete but the service provider does provide a large enough sample that you catch some of the history
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:50 PM
4

Good points, it doesn’t change the situation. Just reaffirms the choice
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:41 PM
2

Years ago it was my name I’d hear when she talked in her sleep. Then I started hearing other names. Then I started looking into her behavior more. I’ve purchased a GPS based tracker, I just need to activate it and pay the cellular company. Hopefully, I’ll get some confirmation to my suspicions
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 03:23 PM
5

She doesn’t realize that it appears in the bill. A little help from Google, and you can usually locate the name that owns that number.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:13 PM
5

She talks in her sleep when she’s drunk.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:01 PM
6

I should, the problem is I let my anger override logic. I should just keep a calm head, record it and then send it to her and the guy through a txt message. I have his number from my phone bill
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:00 PM
3

No, I had returned from being out last night. As I walked up the stairs, I passed her bedroom and heard her talking in her sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 01:43 PM
2

Lots of feedback to your questions. I side with post before mine. If she is no longer in love with him, he can’t change that. Resistance to her wishes won’t bring back that love from their youth. If you don’t see a loving marriage, tell him. That may open his eyes. Sounds like finances are in a great place, one less source of anxiety. You should let him know that you don’t see a loving marriage and he deserves to be with someone that is in love with him. Use this separation to grow and improve h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 03:43 PM
1

80k
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 02:27 PM
2

I’ll have to look into it
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 01:01 AM
1

It’s best to set your life on a course for happiness. Your children should know that you care for their Mom and you love them. Do everything possible to be with your kids and be apart of their daily activities Best wishes
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/20 06:05 PM
5

I did. I went as far as to ignore the fundamental issue that drove us apart. I proposed counseling. I tried to rekindle the romance and restore the love that was. She’s done nothing to hold on to the marriage. I’m a bit haunted by the fact that she’s not trying to keep it together. I wish I knew if there was someone else. It might help explain why she isn’t putting in an effort. The fundamental issues that drove me to want a divorce haven’t changed so it is time to move on. One of the funniest p…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/20 04:19 PM
1

What about finding new opportunities to socialize with others? It’s healthy to form relationships that don’t involve a love of attraction
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/20 04:05 PM
2

Today’s a down day for me. I’m still going through the divorce process. Last night she needed someone to hug to help with her anxiety, I couldn’t stay in the bed with her b/c I wanted her physically and she just rejects any of that. So, I said if it’s not a marital bed, I’m not laying in it. I think I’m down because I miss intimacy with a woman. Yes, the sooner I exit this, the sooner I am available to heal and start anew
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/20 06:55 PM
3

I hear ya Brother, 30 yrs for me. I gave but I didn’t receive. Time to find someone to love me
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/20 01:25 AM
1

I’d say they all are positive as the men were in a bad situation. Yes, custody is an issue but you have a chance to reinforce your parenting in a happier environment
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/20 01:24 AM
1

Glad the Court was observant enough to put the kids in the best position to be raised healthy and happy
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 01:49 PM
1

Alcoholism sucks!!! I’ve learned in AlAnon that they have underlying issues eg depression. So you’re smart to move on
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/20 01:53 PM
1

I’ve done the same with my STBXW. She has a blank stare, no emotion, no regret and no response to stay together. We’re roommates at this point. I almost had the heart attack so focus on eliminating your stresses. I exercise now and an more fit than I was at 30. Therapists are overbooked due to COVID. Good luck in that pursuit In the mean time, build yourself into the man you want to be
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/20 01:51 PM
1

Learn from your mistakes and best wishes going forward
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/20 10:16 PM
1

I want to respond. We need to support each through these times. Your STBXW needs to have an open door for you to parent your kids. Do everything possible to set that up. Your role as a parent will help you through this. It will reinforce your purpose. Can the kids help you set up your new home?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 01:08 PM
1

My daughter is 23 and wants the divorce. She’s had enough of my wife’s drinking. My son is 21. He’s closer to his Mom. I’m doing my best to improve our relationship
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/20 12:52 PM
1

My daughter struggled with so many things that were the result of her mother’s drinking.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 07:39 PM
1

Good for you. I’ve been dealing with my STBXW drinking problems. It’s practically every day. You have no trust when alcohol is involved. Those mini wine bottles are scattered on the side of the road where I live. I pick them up on my walks
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 02:20 PM
2

Hopefully the kids got some therapy. Do you have custody of them?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 02:17 PM
2

We’d be rich from the book we wrote.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 01:01 PM
1

Thank you, that’s my intention. Sad that I’ve been paying for this house for so long
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 03:19 PM
1

Sorry to see that you are delayed and challenged through this process. I’ve never hit her and I walk away from confrontation when it can’t be a civil conversation My kids are 20+ so they’ll have input if there ever is a court case
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 02:13 PM
1

There are three options: She buys it, Sell it, or I buy it. She can’t afford the mortgage on her own. I guess I was looking for advice on how to get her to move out. That will have to be a discussion between the two of us
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 02:11 PM
1

Good morning, thank you for the reply. You are right about the White Knight syndrome. It’s not getting me anywhere. She does work so she should be able to support herself. I may propose a minor alimony with a one year limit. This was suggested by a close friend that is a family law attorney. Long term spousal support is a thorn in my side. She gets half of my pension and possibly S.S. when I’m eligible
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 02:08 PM
2

In time, the next woman will want to do things as opposed to sit on her ass all night.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/20 05:48 PM
2

You’re not alone. Nothing more embarrassing than your wife greeting your friends with “Don’t mind the mess.” I wish someone would reply with “are you auditioning for Hoarders?”
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/20 05:10 PM
3

I look forward to the Tv. She complains that I watch Tv on the weekend but forgets about her four hours a night of controlling it. With Netflix, Amazon and HBO, no wonder her back hurts. Get out of the chair. But when I leave, she races out of the house! HHmm?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/20 05:08 PM
2

Will do, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 06:03 PM
2

Thank you for the reply, I sense a general consensus from my peers here that it is hers to keep and I am not entitled to it. Thanks for your time and thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 05:47 PM
1

Thank you, I have a friend that practices family law, I’ll check with him as well. He’s been supportive and suggested being fair to process the divorce without lawyers and only a mediator if necessary
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 05:38 PM
2

I am curious. I had a male friend whose ex wife came after his and received a settlement
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 05:30 PM
1

US in this case
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 05:29 PM
0

I asked because a male friend of mine had his ex wife come after his and there was a settlement. I don’t know the full details of what she got
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 05:04 PM
1

We have a 20+ yr marriage. There’s assets that will be split equally. She get half of my pension as well. She stands to receive a substantial inheritance. I’m wondering if I am entitled to some of that? I’m asking if anyone in this group has dealt with this matter before?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 12:11 PM
1

I’ve had some incidents where I just had to walk away from her because it wasn’t worth the argument. We are very opposite and that was fine for the early years. I’m at a point where I just want to move on. I was hoping to have this completed early in 2020. There have been a few events that have delayed it and now this pandemic hits. These are times when human comfort is needed and you are social distancing and confined with someone that you are trying to emotionally detach from. DM if you need t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 01:34 PM
1

It’s also a very uncomfortable environment given the quarantine. You should be separated as a couple but you are stuck under the same roof in a crisis. You’re lucky if you talk to each other let alone stay a part for health reasons. I hope this clears up on the optimistic data and not the longer projections.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 04:59 PM
2

Thank you for your kind words. We’ll all get through this and I’ve received some great support today. Thank you very much
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 10:43 PM
1

Thanks, it’s been a long term marriage so it is frustrating. My kids are 30😀 it’s a new beginning but a weird situation that needs to end
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 05:24 PM
1

If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were my Brotha in San Antonio. That made me 😀 I have been lifting weights and it’s paying off. I figured I’d get myself some more contour for the next woman to show her appreciation. I’m not giving in or turning back, it’s time for a fresh new relationship I’ll check out the link you provided. Thanks for the support
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 04:15 PM
4

I agree with your advice. A friend said to have my plan ready to sign off the minute the quarantine is lifted. In the mean time, I’ll continue to focus on my health. Thank you for your time. It’s nice to have the opportunity to anonymously communicate with others that aren’t friends of this marriage
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 03:20 PM
1

Maybe it’s stupid of me but it angers me. Yes, the relationship went in different directions. Maybe there’s another man. It’s painful that her desires for me disappeared over time. I can’t change that. I’m also at fault, she gets drunk and asks for massages. I need to say NO. No physicals relationship period
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 02:57 PM
1

I understand the real estate market. It’s shutting down for now I was hoping to be out from this marriage and at least socializing with other women. Now, I have work and as you stated, I’m focusing on myself including attending AlAnon classes to detach from that bad relationship
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/20 04:06 PM
5

I understand the emotion. I’m going through my divorce. Women are reaching out to be friends and I am not ready to embrace it but I do like the friendship. My wife doesn’t communicate with me. I travel for business and she no longer txts me. But these friends do. I don’t want to mislead these women, I don’t know what I want in the next chapter of my life. I need to rediscover who I am. I’m torn about sex with other women. First, I’m not divorced yet so I don’t want to get into a commitment. Male…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/20 12:37 PM
2

It is Franks..I’m a NYer I know my sauces 😀😀😀
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 07:22 PM
1

I agree, I ate at Anchor Bar a few years back. No Genny Cream on tap and I felt I cooked wings just as well using the Louisiana Red Hot Buffalo Sauce that I buy in the supermarket
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 04:22 PM
2

Put yourself out there. I travel a lot for business and find myself eating alone at a restaurants bar. I strike up conversations with the bartender which leads others to join in.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 03:26 PM
2

They’re good enough, not as good as Duffs in Buffalo but, there will be plenty of company at BWW
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 02:56 PM
1

I appreciate the discourse
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 04:03 PM
1

I’ve often though of going to the Dunkin Donuts in the morning and telling the cops the scenario and what we have to do to get her arrested before she hurts someone
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 02:31 PM
1

The drinking has been going on for 30 yrs and gotten progressively worse. She’s up to five or six bottles of wine a week. Then add in the mini Fetzers that she picks up and drinks on the way home. I’ve tried interventions and gotten no where. There comes a time when you need to take the actions that are best for you. I’m at that point. Sucks to divide wealth but, I’d rather live out my life in happiness than anxiety
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 01:10 PM
1

She won’t stop drinking, I’ve done everything I can to get her to therapy and detox but she won’t accept the issue and seek help. Our kids are over 20 and they are frustrated with her. They will likely join me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 01:31 AM
1

She hit me once and I just sat there and let her get it out. The problem is that I still have lust for her and one moment we are cold from the divorce and at 2 am I hear my bedroom door open and she crawls into my bed. She says she can’t sleep b/c of the anxiety, Holding me helps her. Fuckin mixed messages. Last night, she asked me to come sleep with her and I didn’t. I can’t do that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 01:04 PM
1

I do lift so I’ll Chanel it into that. I don’t have anger issues to a concerning level. It’s just pent up anger that has been stored in my brain for decades
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 01:01 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 01:38 AM
1

We have an anger that needs to go through a detox cycle. I will seek multiple forms of therapy. My spouse is an alcoholic so I’m joining Al Anon and I will seek my Priest for his help to heal spiritually .
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 01:37 AM
3

We have an anger that needs to go through a detox cycle. I will seek multiple forms of therapy. My spouse is an alcoholic so I’m joining Al Anon and I will seek my Priest for his help to heal spiritually
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 01:37 AM
3

Thanks, wasn’t a great weekend and Friday was my birthday. But, I went out with friends and plenty of single female friends checked in. Unfortunately, I don’t want to leave one relationship to go right into another. So, I have to be cordial but not lead them on. I’d like a year off to get my life and career strong again Thanks for being here for your brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/20 09:35 PM
1

Virtual chest bump!!! Glad to see that you’ve made positive changes in your life, that is what is most important Keep up the progress but make sure you’re living for you and not a female! It’s nice to feel attractive but go slow...nothing wrong with being Single
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 04:56 PM
1

How about you make 2020 the year of YOU! The new job is good for you. How can you grow within the organization? Have that talk with your management and set goals for that. More job satisfaction and income will allow you to expand eg., a vacation Finding someone new is never easy. Look for networking events Meet Up and things like that. Get a new hair style Put yourself out there is social activities...events, bars with Corn hole or darts or pool. The lack of communication in your past relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 03:43 PM
2

In our state, a guardian ad litem is assigned to the child when there’s divorce and custody Hire a guardian ad litem to represent you. They should be listed in your county directory
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 01:48 PM
1

I’ve seen the phone records. But I cannot call every number to determine who it is. She continues to call out his name in her sleep. Tonight, I got really angry and confronted her about it. She isn’t remorseful or trying to explain it away. She says I’m crazy. I told her to get the fuck out of the house. I’ve had enough!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/18 03:48 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/18 01:07 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/18 01:19 AM
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