Please post your postive post divorce stories

SecondChantzes · 2020-09-15T16:01:04+00:00

I met another woman who was also very broken. We really did need each other, I firmly believe that. This relationship[ is so good is really showed me what was so wrong with my marriage. I worked to hold that marriage together for 19 years. I thought marriage was hard work, and accepted that. Now I realize that marriage is work AT TIMES, but shouldn't have to be that way all the time by any stretch of the imagination.

chkraise · 2020-09-15T17:30:09+00:00

It forced me to look in the mirror and address what I need to do for self improvement. It freed me from trying to work out a marriage from someone who wasn’t doing the same in good faith. It revealed to me that she, in fact, did not love me (I blinded myself from this hurtful truth).

I likely would have continued to “work on” this marriage indefinitely...a losing battle. Now I no longer have that stress of trying to save it.

ThankYouMrBen · 2020-09-15T14:24:20+00:00

My ex cheated on me with someone I called a close friend. After six months of gaslighting from both of them, including causing a psychiatric hospitalization for me, I filed. Another 6 months later it was finalized.

I’ve since remarried and am extraordinarily happy. My current marriage is so strong it has brought to light all the issues that were wrong in my first marriage, which has helped me to do the emotional labor I needed to do to heal (it’s still in progress, but the progress is moving in the right direction). My wife is also an awesome step mom which was a big priority for me.

I’m happier. My kids are happier. I think my ex is happier. We talk every day because we co-parent very well together. I never thought any of those statements would be true, but they are.

It CAN and WILL get better. Keep your head up, brother.

nuclearxp · 2020-09-15T18:13:48+00:00

I feel like my relationships with kids and even some friends/family are already repairing due to the toxicity and mental damage done by my marriage. Every single life in and around mine is improving.

jaymo54 · 2020-09-15T11:28:43+00:00

I’m not married to her anymore. It’s been 5 years and I’m remarried. I couldn’t be happier in all aspects of my life

littleIdiotUK · 2020-09-15T13:30:31+00:00

After several years of struggling, trying, working at it and not, I told my wife I wanted a divorce and 15 months later it was finalised. I got together with a friend of a friend quickly after and I couldn't be happier. We got engaged and have an 8 month old baby. My ex has met someone and is happier. The exchanges I have with my ex are cordial and collaborative - we work well together. It has not been easy - but well worth it. I'm happier, more confident, I know I have solid friends and family and I now know that fear of acting is bigger than the act itself.

wesley3212 · 2020-09-15T14:07:18+00:00

It was rough at 1st. Just being alone and having to sort through emotions and having to figure out my situation with my kids. It was hard being away from them all the time, but you grow and mature as your kids do. The ex and I are cordial and mostly talk about the stuff with the kids and what is going on in their lives.

It gets easier to cope with the situation.

Just make sure you take your time jumping into situations and ALWAYS do what is best for YOU 1st.

RichardMcCarty · 2020-09-15T19:35:49+00:00

After 26 years of narcissistic abuse, I am now free and happy again. I am doing things I’ve always wanted to do, living life instead of dreading waking to another day.

undeep82 · 2020-09-15T19:46:44+00:00

I know it was all my fault, so i cant blame anyone.

jimsmythee · 2020-09-15T21:31:33+00:00

The run down. My marriage lasted 11 years. After year 5 and two daughters, she found prescription pills - narcotics, muscle relaxers, mood stabilizers, sleeping pills, etc. Each day was a new disaster. She totaled every car she ever drove. She refused to work. She got numerous driving convictions. The final straw the DUI and the kids were in the car. Once she got her DUI conviction and jail time, I filed for divorce.

She wanted;

Half the equity in my "separate and sole property" house. 50% of my take home pay in alimony because she said she was "too sick to work." Only visitation for me for our two daughters. My car was an asset and she gets half value, but the loan to buy the car was all on me. She didn't have a car due to her DUI crash and no driver's license. Her $7500 in DUI fines were a marital debt and I should be required to pay half. Half of my 401K. Me to buy her a commercial health insurance plan (each month $500) to be the same coverage as what she got on my employer's plan. I think that was it...

Divorce decree;

She got $0 alimony. I got 50/50 custody. She got half of my 401k and 15% of the equity in the house. I kept my car and loan to buy the car. I kept my house. She keeps her DUI fines. No health insurance plan. It took her 2 days to stop screaming.

Aftermath;

After 1 year she got remarried and then re-divorced 6 months later. She spent all of the 401K money she got and then had to move back in with her parents. 2 years later she's still there.

Curiouslywastingtime · 2020-09-16T01:24:05+00:00

I’d say they all are positive as the men were in a bad situation. Yes, custody is an issue but you have a chance to reinforce your parenting in a happier environment

GrayCalf · 2020-09-24T05:10:49+00:00

My ex cheated. I got the house, car, 401k, most of the furniture, and all of my stuff.

I think it was amicable.

Title	Please post your postive post divorce stories
Author	Stryker8z
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	September 15, 2020 10:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/it64e9/please_post_your_postive_post_divorce_stories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/please-post-your-postive-post-divorce-stories.817894 https://theredarchive.com/post/817894

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