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SecondChantzes Archive

View 3 posts and 79 comments by SecondChantzes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

Yep. Any poor bastard on this sub can direct message me and I would reply. If you want to talk I would gladly give you my phone number.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 03:47 AM
4

WERD
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 08:14 PM
4

Misery loves company
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 02:14 PM
2

Been through this ... this guy has some GREAT advice
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 04:09 PM
9

I forgot to add to my reply to lay off the booze. That will only make things worse. It is poison.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/21 03:19 PM
6

I am sorry my brother. I feel you. These things leave us empty and feeling alone and worn out. You CAN and will get through this! Keep at it. One day at a time. Keep pushing forward. Hug your daughter. Find comfort in the small things in life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/21 03:18 PM
1

I never could put my finger on why the boomers seemed to enjoy more success as a percentage of them than the following generations. Your hypothesis is perfectly applicable. It always makes me chuckle at the amount of them who consider themselves such smart and savvy businessmen. Particularly untalented men who were at the right place at the right time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 03:16 PM
6

This reply should be stickied somehow here in this sub. This is EXACTLY what my ex was up to. Now she is just a miserable, fat bitch who doesn't get any dick from anyone any longer. You're a fucking stud my good man. Wished I could have had your representation/life coaching throughout my ordeal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 08:31 PM
1

Me too!!! Same amount
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 09:51 PM
3

How awful
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/21 10:01 PM
5

I had many of those type of meals. Enjoy it man! Looking back it was a good time for me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/21 01:59 AM
2

Each and every response in this thread is GOLD. DO IT. File now!
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 06:42 PM
3

GOOD, WISE INFORMATION HERE. And if her parents are in the middle of this and egging her on, you need to get in a mental space of not trying to repair your marriage, but for defending your parental rights and assets. One her parents are in her corner and conspiring against you with her, it's over buddy. Sorry for the tough love here, but you gotta suck it up and do what is best for the future you here. Write her off. Play hard ball. You'll regret it if you don't.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 06:40 PM
3

It IS gross. Cheating is a show stopper for me. Fast and immediate. The relationship is over once I confirm that cheating is or has happened.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 02:47 PM
6

Happy wife - you have created a monster that will walk all over you and think she can get away with anything and you'll always take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 01:04 PM
3

The strength and the accurate views on this thread astound me. You gentlemen are hitting the nail on the head over and over again. Allowing your ex to manipulate the situation to this extent post divorce is equivalent to allowing her to neuter you. Keep your balls my good men. They will serve us well.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 02:35 PM
5

BRAVO!!!! Well done. This is the TRUTH. My reply to another comment on this thread is equally applicable here.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 02:33 PM
4

How she’s show up and treated me during the divorce told me everything I need to know about this person’s character and my relationship with them moving forward. I found this immensely useful myself, as a person with the exact same issue as OP. Everyone gives me this line of bullshit about how healthy it is to forgive .... I get that, but I am NOT ever going to 'chummy' with my ex wife. She basically ripped apart our family for her parents and her co-dependent relationship with them. He parents …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 02:31 PM
1

Was mainly.a joke. Fuck you asshole. Keep your shit off my thread internet tough guy. Bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/21 08:46 PM
2

This is what I was going to say
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 02:35 PM
8

So, like all other women mrs gates is right there to support her husband and honor her vows, eh?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 01:35 PM
10

The open war I endured actually made it easier for me. Seeing how black hearted and how little she cared for my well being made me sign papers I told her at the onset of things that I would never sign.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 01:46 PM
5

I wasn't cheated on, but my ex left me, basically, for her parents. I have two kids, 9 yrs boy and 11 yrs girl. I just want a lady who will be nice to them. She doe3sn't have to be their mom, or a disciplinarian. I am very fortunate to have two great kids. They would be respectful always. I would need for you to be independent of your parents. If your mother still manages your life, I would never enter into a relationship with someone like that again. That is my biggest red flag. I just have my …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 01:54 PM
3

Some more good advice right here. Looking back my wife acted very similar to this. She and her parents had the divorce all done before I even knew it was coming.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 09:28 PM
4

Great post right here
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 09:26 PM
6

Once women get involved with other women who are not married, the unwed bitches will undoubtedly try to pull the the married one down with them. Her "friends" are envious of her family and relationship. If she really valued her marriage and relationship she would have NEVER put herself in the position to have any groping or man handling happen, or anything even remotely close to that. Brother, I had to let go of my ex of 23 years and now only see my two kids (11 girls, 9 boy) part time. Those ki…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 06:51 PM
2

I started seeing someone else after being separated for a year. Divorce was about 2 to 3 months from finalization when I chose to see my current fiance. It has worked out very well. After each of us going through bad marriages we were able to be very up front and honest with each other about what we want and don't want.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 01:03 AM
5

That was the wrong woman for you. That is the best way I can sum it up. You have to move on and find happiness my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 02:29 PM
8

That is all we are judged on, that's for sure. How much does he make? How much is he worth? I always love the "how much is he worth?" question. As if financial condition is the only metric for "worth".
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/21 08:23 PM
3

Like others have said, get in the best shape ever, get a pretty girl friend, have fun, do what you WANT to do. I got me a great looking lady and have abs that I havent seen since my early 20's (I'm 49). Waist has gone from 38 to 32. Before this divorce I didn't know that women actually liked me. It's been kind of fun, and when I pick the kids up I wear the jeans that my girl friend makes me wear in front of the ex wife. The ex wife is still a tub of lard.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/21 04:30 PM
2

Yeah, what is she holding over your head? Does she have proof of this? Do you have a record from it?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/21 04:20 PM
6

Cheating is something I can never get over. Not telling you what to do, but I would take the kids and move away. Then file for divorce. She will most likely shack up with this dude and be done with it. If you let her have the kids you will be paying child support for an eternity.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/21 10:02 PM
4

This is mainly what I was referring to. The women I could see on my dating apps were heavily filtered pics from "that one time" when they dieted down and lost 80 pounds. I like a lady to have some meat on her bones .... wished they would just put up a recent shot of themselves. The hung up on the exes thing is a big one. It's scary to think about the women who it's going to take a while to figure out what the heck is up, or take a while for their true colors to show. You only left out women who …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/21 07:55 PM
2

Online dating was an absolute CESSPOOL. I don't ever want to do that again. Good luck, gentlemen.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/21 05:20 PM
4

I wish my attorney was anywhere near that cheap. I was $28,000 and I think I got off easy compared to most.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/21 07:20 PM
5

I am divorced after 20 year marriage. I was put into isolation by my ex. She spent all her efforts and time with her friends and her Mother & Father. I was third choice for her at best. Her divorcing me was the best thing that could have happened to me in my life. I'm just letting you know that should divorce happen, it's not the end of the world and things do get better .... A LOT better. I applaud you for trying to so hard to honor your commitment, but you can only keep that up for so long. Sh…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/21 05:38 PM
3

I would have felt the exact same way. Maybe I am not the right person to talk to you about this, but I always felt like a marriage should be a man and a woman putting each other FIRST, always. You take vows to do everything possible to keep your relationship together. That commitment should be honored through thick an thin. (my opinion) EDIT - I mean that she is the one not trying, where, clearly, you are. Her actions are not conducive to fostering a good marriage/relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/21 05:14 PM
1

In Texas she has to take me back to court. I am not an attorney, though, and you should call one ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 10:28 PM
3

You gotta move on, man. Once you find another woman and realize that there are PLENTY of fish in the sea, she will be nothing but a distant memory.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 10:27 PM
1

Yes. At least the ones I am used to being around.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 09:18 PM
17

ding ding ding!!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 08:34 PM
2

Your instincts are correct. Do NOT trust her. She has a partner who is now driving the bus, and this partner wants to hurt you and push you far away. Lawyer up and fight like hell for everything, including full custody of your boys if you can get it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 04:11 PM
1

Yes, I want to agree here as my contribution to this thread. Life is a series of peaks and valleys. What defines us are the bridges we build to get over the next valley and on to the next peak. You can't see that you've built a sturdy bridge until you're standing on the next peak and looking back at the last one. That dark valley will be below, but your vantage point from that new peak will allow you to see that you've conquered it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 03:55 PM
3

this
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/20 07:10 PM
6

Hate to be the heavy here .... there are better ladies out there for you! You WILL find someone else who would NEVER cheat on you. You WILL find someone else who will love you like you deserve. The sooner you sever this toxic relationship, the sooner you will get over it and be able to move on. I thought I was never going to get over my ex-wife and be able to move on as well. Boy, was I wrong. You just think you love this woman. The cheating will always be in the back of your mind. You deserve p…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/20 02:34 PM
2

I am treading very lightly ..... I've been burned too many times. I appreciate your words of wisdom my man. Glad you got away without another obligation on your hands.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/20 10:39 PM
2

I am being woke as I type this .... I was close to jumping in again. Once you start finding out that you'll never be first with someone, you really should move on. That person should be with whoever they want to put first and spare you the heart ache and frustration. Just go be free!! I agree!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/20 05:32 PM
1

I, also, against all advice, found another woman after being separated about 10 months. It's been good so far to get me in a positive mood about life in general. As others have said, the gym has been great for me. I haven't been in this kind of shape in decades. It feels great to have that kind of confidence.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/20 05:28 PM
4

I will say this.... i am on the other side of having gone through my divorce. Heart was broken, I was utterly lost, etc. I am signing my final decree Monday after a year. I am happier now than I have ever been. You will get there too. Reach down and dig into that testicular fortitude. You got this my man!!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/20 01:12 PM
1

duuuude ???
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/20 08:03 PM
3

My BROTHER! I am in your EXACT same situation. Just thought I'd let you know you are not alone. My STB Ex is trying to keep me from getting standard possession, but of course, I am paying the full amount of child support and have no money left. So, I get to pay, but the court won't squash her attempts to keep the kids from me ???? Same story, she claims abuse, but there has never been any proof of this whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/20 05:50 PM
1

And you will find that. And you will appreciate it so much more with the new understanding you have.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/20 11:59 AM
8

I met another woman who was also very broken. We really did need each other, I firmly believe that. This relationship[ is so good is really showed me what was so wrong with my marriage. I worked to hold that marriage together for 19 years. I thought marriage was hard work, and accepted that. Now I realize that marriage is work AT TIMES, but shouldn't have to be that way all the time by any stretch of the imagination.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 04:01 PM
4

My divorce was mainly caused by my wife putting her family first. They mean more to her than I ever could have. Well, she has them now, and I've moved on. Best thing ever for her to have filed those papers. If she can't grow up and make the family that you have with her your priority, you don't want her anyway. Just my .02 brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/20 07:45 PM
6

I also quit drinking. That's a smart move there. It would be easy to wreck the rest of your life by going down the wrong path. I also started working out. A lot. I am in better shape at 48 than I was at 28. After about 9 months I hesitantly started dating a little. Met a lady soon after who I really clicked with. All this gave me confidence and built me back up. I've noticed recently the ex-wife is trying to speak to me more and make eye contact .... I keep it professionally civil, for the kids.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/20 06:55 PM
2

I just met a 53 year old and she is pretty nuts, like I am lovin life nuts. I am 48 and this lady is something else!
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 09:14 PM
3

volunteer for hair follicle test
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/20 01:31 AM
1

YES!!! My STBXwife is venomous, unforgiving, and wants to see me hurting. This appeared seemingly out of nowhere. I am seeing exactly what you are describing. 41 year old woman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/20 06:44 PM
8

Women can't love unconditionally. Never have and never will be able too. No matter the generation or time era. WELL FUCKING SAID. I am left almost every day of my life wondering what happened to for better or for worse, sickness and health .... all our vows that we took in front of God in the name of love. I guess the ladies can just say, "fuck it", and never look back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/20 06:39 PM
1

My story is a lot like yours. I am saying right now hormones are a possibility. I have heard on more than one occasion that when menopause hits, bat shit crazy becomes the new normal. Like you cannot expect to deal with a rational person any longer for a few YEARS. My money on your situation, as well as my own, is menopause. Keep your chin up, brother. Something better is bound to be around the corner. .... at least that what everyone keeps telling me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/20 06:36 PM
2

I am getting mine saying she is fleeing abuse ... now she is a "warrior momma" for being so strong and independent. I never laid a finger on her, and there are NO police calls or reports of anything like that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/20 09:49 PM
7

Nailed it
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/20 09:45 PM
3

I also appreciate this post. Any little thing that can make my day better .... I'll take all I can get. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 03:19 PM
1

You're not alone
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 03:08 PM
3

I am right here with you too, man. Same exact situation. I have gaming rigs set up for both my kids. All our family pictures are still up throughout the house. Whenever there is a PC problem I get called in. I just try to be thankful I get to see them outside planned visitation schedule. You're not alone, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 02:46 PM
3

I needed this today
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/20 03:15 PM
1

If you are taking benzos (valium, xanax, ativan, klonopin, etc.) for anxiety you need to approach your doctor about TAPERING off that medicine. I have been there, and those types of drugs only makes things worse. PLEASE don't quit cold turkey, and don't quit without a doctors guidance. The withdrawals from benzos can kill you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/20 07:45 PM
3

What kind of business did you start? I am wanting to live my entrepreneur dream badly since I have been served with divorce papers. It's hard to get any traction and find the right direction for starting my business though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/20 01:38 PM
1

Your post is encouraging. Thank you for taking the time. I can't see how I can get to your position form where I am sitting, but I will keep the faith and soldier on.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/20 01:37 PM
5

I feel your pain. I am going through a divorce and have two kids. Daughter (10) and son (8). I have the same concerns. I am just committing myself now to always put the kids first. No matter what I will always be there for them. I believe that if you stay true to your son, he will always love his father as his dad. If you let what your wife is doing push you away, then that is where to gap between you and your son will begin. I am not giving up, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/20 01:11 PM
1

I am just getting started in this nightmare. Your post opened my eyes. Thank You.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 04:31 PM
8

Just move along, and know you are better off. Just being OK with everything and being happy will be enough.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 03:16 PM
3

I feel that too often this is the default that courts and society falls into all to easily.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 06:47 PM
1

I hate to say it, but you hit the nail right on the head. The woman decides that we get cut out and that's the shit sandwich we have to keep eating. One day the kids will grow up and may or may not see things for what they really are. Until that time, you really do have to keep plodding along, ensure your son that you are his only father and you love him beyond measure. He will see it, and he knows you are his only real dad.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 01:54 PM
3

Don't walk away from your son. I would focus on healing and starting a new brand of relationship with him, excluding your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 08:23 PM
2

Everyone likens the situation of chasing your wife/estranged wife like a dog that runs away. The more you yell for it and run after it, the further down the street it runs. But the minute you turn your back on it, it will come to you. I have found this to be true, but lack the discipline to stick to my guns. I keep thinking I am talking to the woman I have been with for 22 years and married to for 19. We are both different now it seems. Damage done to us, by us and among us has changed our path.…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 02:32 AM
2

Well done, sir. I am in my evening meeting right now, but want to digest this further and respond more thoroughly later. You sound spot on my man. EDIT: Re-read this and only have one thing to add ... I would like to show this to my sponsor, if that's OK? I believe he will use this post as a fulcrum to leverage even more out of me. He's that kind of guy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/20 01:25 AM
2

a spiral notebook and a pen or pen Check! My AA sponsor is only about a week in front of you. LOL. Journaling does help, and I appreciate you extending the caring advice. I will soldier on as long as I need to in order to try and repair this and also for the kids well being. I appreciate your time, sir!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 10:03 PM
3

Appreciate you, mate. Reading this made me feel like a tomorrow just may come one day that I don't feel so utterly lost. I just know that I would forgive her, and that was the brand of love I understood when I asked her to marry me. I guess I cannot expect that it was ever going to be reciprocated in kind.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 09:02 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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