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Delicious-Curious Archive

View 12 posts and 207 comments by Delicious-Curious on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’m losing our dog. I get the cats, but I love our dog, too. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 03:39 AM
3

My soon to be ex continues to DEMAND my Apple password because of the shared movies we purchased through the years. Ummm no, that password unlocks a lot more than movies such as my emails and texts. It’s 30 movies, most of which are now available on streaming platforms. She’s been asking for six months and each time I say no she’s enraged.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 05:17 PM
5

Amen. We sound like the same person. I’ve lost my in laws, my wife changed just as you described.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 06:40 PM
6

25 years of marriage here. Same experience (except there are no calm talks; she just yells at me and blames me for every problem). Like you, it’s so painful to miss the ordinary moments. We’re about to stop cohabitating after eight months and it’s the last I’m going to hate the most — missing the ordinary rhythms of family life. Whenever I say to my STBX “you’re blowing up our family” she becomes incensed, angry and defensive. But it’s the literal fact — that she won’t take any responsibility fo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 11:42 AM
1

Great testimonial. Thank you for sharing. Gives me hope.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 12:32 PM
5

Taking mine off the day after our 25th anniversary this summer. She took hers off months ago.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 03:00 AM
3

Six months later after my wife told me she’s spent a year thinking about divorce she has still not admitted that she did anything wrong. It’s all me. It’s wild and painful to absorb.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 03:44 PM
2

I’m with you and see you on this. It’s awful watching what my kids are going through.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 03:41 PM
1

I was not invited to brunch with my wife and kids nor to her parents for dinner. Sigh. But I’ll have a peaceful day. And I’ll my turn on Father’s Day.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:52 AM
3

Are we married to the same woman? Same experience. Same feelings. Destabilizing our kids kills me every day.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 01:13 PM
7

If your name is on the title/deed, you go nowhere.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:43 AM
13

Very similar story, man. She framed it as “we could redefine what family looks like” by divorcing. We could be best friends. We could be there for each other. That slowly then rapidly fell apart as I started protecting myself and disagreeing that I’m the villain in her story. Now she barely speaks to me. Her parents barely speak to me. It’s quite a change that is stunning to watch. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:41 AM
5

Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:31 PM
1

24 years here. I hear and see you. It sucks so much. Like you I dreamed and only wanted one intact home. That’s been taken from me along with so much else. Hang in there. I’m told it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 02:10 AM
2

This this has been my experience and transformation, too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 12:59 PM
2

I’m so sorry. That has to really suck. One of my kids had to do a family tree this week and that was painful to watch. So much damage from divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 09:55 AM
1

🙌🩵
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 09:12 PM
1

Thanks, man. So sorry to hear about your journey. That’s a lot too, as we each have different flavors of divorce. Most taste bitter. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 06:31 PM
1

Thanks. We have a workout room in our basement (in the house we will need to sell). I’ve not been working out because I want to be present for our kids. I was in the best shape of my life before the divorce bomb was dropped. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 06:30 PM
3

Or “I’m using my voice.” Or “I feel invisible.”
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 03:37 PM
7

Omg. Are we married to the same woman? I feel, see and know this all too well. Exactly the same.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 10:44 AM
3

Be careful working on things just between the two of you. You need to protect yourself and your future, which will happen via legally binding documents.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 04:22 AM
0

I live in Virginia yet see a therapist 100 miles away via telehealth. Don’t limit yourself to whatever your small town offers. See if the same rules apply and if you can see anyone in state virtually.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:23 AM
4

This is awesome thank you. I’m approaching month six and see myself in some of what you shared, but in other ways I’m still prisoner - 28 years together will do that. Thanks again for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 12:41 PM
7

Thank you. Not quite at this stage yet but will be in a few months. My wife is very controlling and expects me to comply with everything she wants. However I’m going to be leading my own house without her present (divorce is her choice not mine). I will aim for the same rules, but if i want to have an ice cream party with my kids on a Saturday night at 10 pm then thats what I’ll choose to do to create those memories. As you said, THIS is their childhood. The only time they are this age. And it n…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 04:48 PM
3

I hear you and see you. 10 years for you, 25 for me. Vows mean nothing to her. Our whole family is being destroyed. Selling a house that we built. It all sucks
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 09:36 PM
1

Fair points. I’m still thinking about her, too, in a sometimes obsessive way watching her every move worried what she’s saying to our kids, etc. I haven’t quite gotten over that hump yet.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 05:57 PM
1

Thank you so much for you words. Things do come in waves.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:57 AM
11

25 years here. Poof. All gone in almost the exact way you described. I’ve made some progress, but I’ll never be at peace with this selfish decision of hers.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 08:04 PM
2

Thank you, man. Slowly but surely doing that introspective work.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 01:26 AM
20

To my wife, “amicable” means the way she wants things to unfold.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:41 AM
3

To my wife, “amicable” means the way she wants things to unfold.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:41 AM
2

Amen.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:40 AM
4

I hear you. I’ll see her the rest of my life but with such a different view. 20+ years she was my focus (not always perfectly by me). Now, eh. Don’t care to even really look at her these days.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:49 PM
3

Same man. She’s attractive in general and very fit, but I’m so turned off by the whole package now. Also living together for several more months, too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:37 PM
3

Same man. I don’t even recognize this person. We haven’t even begun the legal aspects yet. But I’m done.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:28 PM
3

Thanks, man. Never thought it would happen.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:19 PM
4

Mine has decidedly drifted away from faith which I think attributed to her “new found self.” No moral compass.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 04:58 PM
5

Amen. I’ve been told the same after my wife has controlled me for years. I’ve had mutual friends tell me for years they’ve noticed but don’t say anything. OP, be gentle to yourself. It’s not just you. She’s selling you a narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 12:30 AM
1

Amen. I feel the exact same way.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:08 PM
9

I’ve lost the attraction to my wife. I always wanted to have sex with her. Now it’s the furthest thing from my mind ever given how she has treated me. Her internal instability has made me go soft down there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:30 PM
2

Right? Not one sense of admitted guilt but some of her reactions and emotions say otherwise so she tries to contain any emotion by anyone so she doesn’t feel the weight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 04:20 PM
5

100 percent the same. I cried and showed emotion. She showed nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:33 AM
12

Amen. I had never heard that until this experience and it’s so damn true.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 02:14 PM
5

Thank you. Thank you for your realism and honesty in sharing a part of your journey. We’re still cohabitating which makes the feeling of family continue and probably all the more painful. It’s awesome that you’re seeing someone new. I can’t envision that right now because I feel so broken but hopefully one day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 04:57 AM
3

Thank you. I had a partnership that is now gone. So yes I have to be the leader of myself now, no longer under her control. There’s solace in that I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 04:27 AM
9

I’m so sorry about the kids. Told ours two weeks ago and I’ll never forget the shrieking sound from our youngest. I was emotional. My wife was all business like. 🤬🤬
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 04:26 AM
3

Wishing you peace on this awful journey, too. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 03:46 AM
4

Thanks, man. Have to detach first before I can rebuild. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 03:45 AM
1

Amen brother. I feel and experienced the same. 24 years and poof. She blew it all up
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 02:01 AM
6

I cried multiple times today including in front of my kids. It’s been a hard day. Thank you for sharing. I see you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:55 AM
1

For example using very specific language that only my STBX has been using and out of nowhere exploding at me in anger yesterday. All the while cuddling up to mom.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:48 PM
0

Thanks. I cracked a little tonight and said sone things I shouldn’t have because I was so surprised at the level of anger.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:46 AM
1

The sequencing of how things play out. The permanent separation agreement is a private matter between spouses and it can lead to 90 percent of the needed paperwork, leaving only the court piece as a formality (October for me; December for you). The lawyer also advised that if everyone is reasonable there’s no need for us to appear before a judge. It should all be worked out ahead of time and the PSA governs the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 07:19 PM
1

Hey in Virginia, too. I went this past week for a free 30 minute consult with a lawyer. It was very helpful to orient me. I’d recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:14 PM
7

In the middle of the horrible storm right now. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 02:23 AM
7

The amount of pain men like us endure in this situation is so unfair. A life partner. Uh huh until she decides I’m out. It’s so 💔 and 🤬
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 03:07 PM
1

How does one find out if her income has increased? Guessing that’s not something a wife would want to disclose.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 04:42 PM
5

100 percent right. She does not want to be the villain though this is completely her choice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:42 PM
4

That’s what I’ve tried to say. “Nope, not happening” she says. Makes no sense.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 04:19 PM
5

My STBX is dreaming of a world where we “redefine”’what being divorced looks like. And that we’re friends, supportive of each other, spend holidays together, maybe even vacation together. Just not married. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 03:48 PM
4

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s invaluable. I keep catching myself getting drawn in to the emotion of it all. My wife and I talked for two hours today; one hour was about emotional stuff. I should have stopped within 10 minutes but couldn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 10:56 PM
3

Are we married to the same person?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:18 PM
5

Thank you for sharing. I genuinely tried. 💔
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:23 AM
2

Mine literally gaslights me about gaslighting. She declared in therapy this past week that I gaslight her - “fact” she declared.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 03:05 PM
9

Omg this is my wife. I am NOT allowed to show emotion especially if it emanates from things she’s said or done. Simply not allowed. I get in trouble for it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 12:35 AM
3

Thanks. My wife emailed her in the morning with the text of the speech and no one told me until I showed up that evening.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 11:58 AM
4

Thanks man. I feel prosecuted every week.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 12:13 PM
5

I’m so sorry man. I thought the length of our marriage would count for something, too. Nope. Not one bit. 💔💔
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 06:44 AM
4

It does take two for sure. In her speech tonight she absolved herself of anything by never citing her role or responsibility or taking accountability. All. My. Fault.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:27 AM
4

Nice ending man!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:25 AM
5

Pretty sure I’m calling it quits. Last week’s session was awful, too (we’ve been doing this since October).
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:24 AM
3

Thank you. I’ve tried for weeks to fight for this marriage, especially for our kids. It’s astonishing how my wife is so easily discarding me after nearly 30 years together. 💔
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:09 AM
5

My wife emailed the therapist hours beforehand with the content of the letter, too. I was totally blindsided and not able to respond much after. So then after my initial silence the therapist asked my wife “how did it feel to say those words?” Really?!?! Come on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:05 AM
11

12 weeks ago my wife did the same. It’s shattering and gut wrenching. I’ll never understand it. Hang in there. It’s just takes time. A lot of time. Give yourself grace.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 02:27 AM
1

Does one formally need to ask for a separation? My wife and I agreed I would sleep in the basement but that wasn’t necessarily for separation purposes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:02 AM
1

Thank you for sharing. I’m still early in the process and appreciate your experience. This all sucks and wish it wasn’t happening, but your story provides some hope amid the loneliness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 04:33 PM
3

I feel your pain man. I’m so sorry. 20+ years here and the same happened. Rug pulled out of nowhere. No remorse not a care in the world how she’s damaging our family. I’m sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:23 AM
2

Thinking of you, man. I will likely be in your shoes in a few months and I am dreading all of the lasts. 20+ years of marriage and poof. It will be my first time in 27 years living alone. Never thought this would ever happen. Try an take the feelings of loneliness into opportunity when you can but don’t deny the reality of the feelings, either. Lonely is lonely and that’s OK, too. I’m understanding that it’s part of the grieving process. Hang in there and DM if you ever want to chat.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 08:50 PM
2

Following. Hang in there man. This all sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:54 PM
1

She’s such a narcissist. I don’t even recognize her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:27 PM
6

That’s brutal man. I’m so sorry she chose to break her vows. And that she blames you for everything. They build narratives in their heads and use confirmation bias to cement their thinking. It’s awful. Unfair. Immature. I’m sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 10:28 AM
1

Going through the same sigh. I want our nuclear family intact. She wants to nuke our family and live in some fantasy world that divorce and two homes will be awesome for our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:49 AM
2

Couldn’t agree more. And maybe you experienced this too but my wife has said let’s not relitigate the past — except when she wants to with an example. Then it’s ok. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:39 AM
2

Thanks for sharing. My wife is a narcissist whose only interest is herself. I’m running out of patience trying to save our family. She comes to each session with a blowtorch.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:38 AM
6

I feel the same way. Nearly 30 years together and she wants out. It’s crushing and shattering. No way I’ll ever marry again. I may hang out with some women when ready, but otherwise I’m not opening myself up to someone again like I have.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 02:26 PM
3

I’m sorry, man. Women who do these things make our lives a living hell with no sense of accountability or care. I’m so sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:38 PM
1

I see you, too, man. I’m so sorry. I don’t have any magic answers as I walk this journey, too. It’s all do destabilizing after 20+ years together that it’s sometimes hard to comprehend. Keep trying, man. You deserve better and it will come your way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:21 PM
1

100 percent relate. I still not sleeping great nearly three months later. My doctor told me to take melatonin and magnesium glycate before bed. It’s helped a little bit. I’m also on Prozac now, but have to take it in the morning because before bed was contributing to me not sleeping. Going through this is awful but with no sleep is worse. I’ve also stopped working out which is not good, either. Hang in there man. This all sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:52 AM
2

Thank you. I agree with you 100 percent. Feel free to DM me anytime to chat more. 🙏💪
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 08:46 PM
2

Most states are 50/50 unless there are some awful things going on with one parent. I can’t seem to get my wife to understand that her idea to divorce will lead to her not seeing our kids half the year. And that she’s forcing me to lose access half the year. Sigh. Good luck. And yes move back in.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 03:58 PM
1

Love your attitude and approach to stay positive. I’m starting to get there after 12 weeks of despair.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 02:03 PM
2

Thank you for sharing your deep, personal story. May God continue to watch over you and provide the clarity you need and deserve. This jumped out at me; it’s exactly how I feel about my wife right now: “What devastates me most is realizing that someone can want a marriage to end without being willing to do anything different to try to save it. I refuse to believe that a covenant should be abandoned so easily.” Amen. I’ve said these similar words go my wife and her reaction has been kind of a sho…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:29 PM
2

Same boat.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:14 PM
10

I desperately don’t want to say it’s mutual when the time comes. It’s a lie. This is my wife’s decision 100 percent. I’m fighting to keep us together but my wife doesn’t want marital reconciliation. Our kids keep talking about all sorts of things in the future and I’m just biting my tongue. However, it’s not healthy for the kids to know the inner workings of what happened. Our older teenager will likely understand without us saying it and when that child is over 18 I’ll share that I did not want…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:56 PM
2

I hear you 100 percent. In my case, nearly 30 years - poof, out the window with no chance at truly working on things together. She won’t hear of it. It’s sickening and sad, and will be even more when our kids learn about HER decision. And I’ll tell them the age appropriate truth when they are 18+. I’m fighting to keep our family together. My wife wants to discard me and blow up our family. It’s going to be hard for me to get over that core point (and being forced to see our kids 50 percent less)…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:43 AM
2

Right? Absolutely. How fast we’re discarded.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:28 AM
3

I love this reply so much. I’m in the same boat with a wife prioritizing her “happiness” instead of our family unit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 09:48 PM
5

I’m so sorry, man. My heart goes out to you and the kids. 💔💔
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:39 PM
1

Just a general thank you to everyone for all of your insight, perspective, bluntness, care and more. It means a lot as I try and figure out life right now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:58 PM
1

Fair reality check; thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:35 AM
3

I don’t have any confirmation she’s seeing someone else, but she tossed out the divorce card in mid October. It’s been awful. I’ve lost 10 pounds, not functioning well at work (my boss and my team have been very supportive though); I’m on Prozac now, which after one month has finally helped me stabilize a little bit. It’s sobering to see a life wiped away after 20+ years of building one together with three kids. I didn’t do anything egregious; just “unseen” she says whatever that means (I’ve tri…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:26 AM
1

Thanks, man. Wish I could get the hell out of the basement but we live in an expensive area so it’s not really practical right now. I hate the shame I feel going down there every night. More and more people are saying a potential affair. She’s had some health issues so likely nothing sexual but I could see emotional. Her dresses for work have been getting tighter and tighter and more frequent. Lots of Telegram and Signal messages on her phone Home Screen lately. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:59 AM
1

I’m sorry man. DM if you ever want to chat. Anytime.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:24 AM
4

It’s sickening and selfish. Like you, it’ll be hard for me to trust again given that my wife has played a divorce card out of nowhere.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:06 AM
5

I’m sorry man. Mine changed her passcode (blaming our daughter to try and prevent her access uh huh) and I’m constantly seeing telegram and signal notifications on her screen.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:59 AM
1

Thanks, man. I’m pretty isolated right now. She is not. I’m talking and texting with a lot of people but that’s about it. It’s been the worst 11 weeks of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:00 AM
5

Following for future ideas. Sigh. I never wanted to be in this situation. I’ve been a full time dad 15+ years and feel so cheated it’s going to be taken away because of her selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:25 AM
1

Thank you. Wishing you peace, too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:23 AM
2

That reference was four years ago and it was the first time I was compelled to write anything down she had said to me. It’s quite the accusation that she said with a straight face. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:22 AM
1

THANK YOU. I’ve read your response several times today and I appreciate it greatly. The bullet points you outlined are exactly how i feel. Thank you for summarizing and hearing me. I’m not perfect; I’ve made mistakes, too, but the toll this is taking seems way out of whack. Divorce seem extreme for the “sins” she accuses me of. But I’m gaining more clarity that it’s not me only. I’m not crazy. Thank you for affirming that, too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:20 AM
1

Thanks, man. I appreciate your experience. The first 12 sentences match almost word for word - wild and scary af how similar. I’m trying to be stoic, but I’m also worn down and tired. I’m on Prozac, lost 10 pounds, feel more and more disconnected, stopped working out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:18 AM
1

Thanks, man. It’s hard to disengage when we’re still in the same house and have kids to care for. She’s disengaged me more in recent days, which has been noticeable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:12 AM
3

Exactly - no accountability, remorse, regret. None. She just has seemingly moved on with not a care for how any of this impacts our family unit. Such selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:10 AM
1

Hey I appreciate that perspective. She’s right I won’t leave or initiate so part of me has been thinking this is a major control play. I’ve also noticed how I’ve said at least seven times that I don’t want to see our kids half the time (and I assume she feels the same). We’re both good parents and have affirmed that in each other. However she’s barely ever batted an eye when I’ve mentioned only seeing the kids 26 weeks, 180 days, etc. That lack of reaction seven times has caught my attention. Wh…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:07 AM
1

I understand. It’s just being together for so long with a lot of history makes it hard to just toss it out the window in what feels like a whim to make her “feel better.”
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 12:33 AM
2

Thanks. And her mom just moved here three years ago so we see her a lot now. It’s made things a lot worse and I think a contributing factor to where we are. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:49 PM
1

Yes I would take her back. I’ve asked her to take the divorce card off the table. She said she’s come close (but I see that might just be a control thing to say). All I want is a chance for us to be healthier together and if it doesn’t work then so be it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:40 PM
2

Thank you for your bluntness. That’s what I need right now. It’s funny you mention the gift she’s given me. That’s what she’s told me she’s doing - giving me a gift so I can find someone else and be happy. That she can’t meet my needs anymore. That I can go have fun banging hot blondes (her words). I don’t really want any of that. I still want an intact family because that matters so much. But yes I also know I need to become stronger. I became too reliant on her and didn’t set boundaries (well …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 08:56 PM
3

My story, too. Sigh. I hear you and see you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 08:22 PM
2

Fair question. Love her and always thought we would work things out as issues came up. There’s a lot more I didn’t detail here. I also believe in an intact family unit with our kids. My wife just refuses to engage in marital healing which she claims would just be here giving in again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 08:00 PM
2

Tight dresses, middrift sweaters and signal/telegram messages are making me wonder about at least an emotional affair. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:58 PM
1

Thank you, I will. Appreciate your response.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:57 PM
5

I hear you, man. What’s hard is that we as parents have to avoid blaming in front of the kids. That’s going to be so hard because I do NOT want our family to end. My wife has tried this fairy tale line with me that we get a great chance to write the next chapter of “us” just not married. Isnt that exciting she asks? Fuck no. It’s not. So when the time comes she will likely use that same line with our kids - that we’re just writing the “next chapter” of our family life — that includes two homes, …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:03 PM
4

We haven’t told our kids yet but this is going to be the hardest part. My wife claims she will “do anything” for our kids — but anything I guess doesn’t mean trying to heal our marriage first. Instead it’s a selfish approach and her “me first, I’m using my voice” attitude that is going to tear our family apart. I’m going to have a hard time forgiving and I refuse to tell her I agree with divorce so all the mental weight and emotion is on her unilateral decision.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:46 PM
1

OMG the dishwasher. I’m constantly criticized for putting things in incorrectly. She hasn’t gone that far to empty it and make me redo it; instead she’ll redo it the “right” way very loudly so I feel more like shit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:24 PM
1

Amen. I still want my marriage and my intact family. I’m not giving up fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:08 PM
3

And for years she would criticize me for being on social media or my phone “all the time.” I’m barely on anymore (except here seeking support). I get part of it — she needs an outlet to see life, but over the last year has made no attempt to work on our marriage. I’ve been ready to work on our marriage with professional help but now she says welp it’s too late. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:07 PM
1

I see myself as imperfect with faults and limits. I see where I’ve fallen short and has tried for years to be a better husband via my ow therapy only for my wife to invalidate my therapy and to reject anything I’ve tried to do. Overall I believe in a good person. I’m more on the quiet introvert side but I care a lot and love our family deeply including my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:02 PM
4

Constantly on Facebook. All the time. Endless scrolling. Most of the people she’s hanging out with are married women likely reinforcing her narrative without regard for our family unit staying together or any other consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:00 PM
3

Hi thanks. She’s 48. There are so many other factors and stressors but I’m the only one she wants to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:07 PM
2

I’m sorry man. Been going through the same since October. It’s the most awful feeling I’ll ever experience. Poof, 23 years of marriage gone. As others have said focus on yourself the best you can. I’m on Prozac now and after a few weeks it has helped stabilize my mood a bit. I can’t sleep worth much right now, but try the best you can. I’ve lost 10 pounds, so try and eat when you can.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 12:25 PM
3

Nice! About two years ago my fitness journey took off. I’ve been slacking lately but hope to resume soon to get into even better shape.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 03:18 AM
3

I’ve lost 11 pounds in 10 weeks. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 02:26 AM
4

Amen to all of this. A-freaking-men.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 11:27 PM
2

Same here and it’s so painful.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 06:00 PM
6

Couldn’t agree more. Exactly what my wife is doing to me and citing as her reasons for wanting to blow up our family.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 12:50 PM
3

Amen brother.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:04 AM
12

I’m sorry man. I hear you. In therapy with my wife who wants a divorce and both the therapist and my wife are saying I just need time to catch up to where my wife has been for 11 months. Then speak the fuck up, dear wife, and say something, let’s agree to work on things. But nooooo now it’s too late she says. What utter shit. I will keep telling her she’s blowing up our family even though she hates me saying it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:43 AM
1

A few people have asked me that. I don’t think she would do that sexually but maybe emotionally. I’ve also noticed almost daily Telegram notifications on her phone, which I can’t see who but that’s making me wonder.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 01:29 PM
2

Thanks, man. We’re on a pre-planned family vacation right now and I’m trying to hold myself together.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 02:34 AM
1

The second paragraph of this man. That’s been me and still me. It hurts so much.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 02:02 AM
4

That’s awful that she would say that. That’s 100 percent not fair for anyone, including kids. Just sadly amazing how some women just turn on a dime and throw away their families rather than trying to find a path forward together. My wife becomes furious when I say why are you choosing to destroy our family. I’ve made mistakes, too. Of course. Oddly enough, she doesn’t admit mistakes and everything is my fault, of course. Pretty neat how convenient that is rather than look at herself and other pr…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:54 PM
6

So sorry, man. Going through nearly the same (wife has t found someone new yet that I know of), but everything else - yes it all sucks. We’re left in the shambles of what once was a marriage and is now nothing more than a smoldering fire. It’s beyond heartbreaking. We give of ourselves to our wives - imperfectly - but they just up and decide welp, that’s enough. Hang in there man. This journey sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:46 PM
1

Thanks for sharing man. I feel and sure your pain. Hang in there, too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:12 PM
1

Thanks, man. Your first paragraph is what kills me. When I’ve mentioned vows she said well people change. 💔 Yes, trying to be there for our kids. It’s hard because I’m so weighed down by emotion (kids don’t know yet) and my wife is acting all carefree around them. To your last part, maybe one day I’ll find someone, even for just a fling, but definitely not feeling it right now. I just want our marriage back. Ah well, I guess some of us good men are just disposable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:10 PM
2

Right? It’s wild. “Freedom” and “courage” and all that BS. Meanwhile families are left in tatters all because in my case my wife won’t address her own issues except that somehow miraculously I’m to blame for all of them. And now that we have professional help with a therapist, she doesn’t want marital repair. It’s wild.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:57 PM
2

Exactly how I feel man. The sense of loss will never go away. This just pains me so much because it’s so selfish. But I’m sure she sees it as “courageous.” It’s not. It’s not courageous to blow up a family because she feels unseen by A LOT of people in her life not just me. I’m just the easiest to get rid of. I hear and feel all that you wrote, including future relationships. Feel free to DM me anytime.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:26 PM
3

So sorry to hear that and with that “anniversary” tomorrow. How awful. Hang in there man. Glad you’re doing better with time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 03:53 AM
6

Thank you, man. Appreciate your words. Just feel like I don’t matter. When you build a life with someone for nearly 30 years and then poof. It’s gone. I just feel like I don’t matter anymore. Nothing I feel matters (she invalidates it all to make herself feel less guilty about what she is choosing).
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 03:28 AM
5

I’ve tried to make this case in therapy to my wife - to work things out and stay together for the kids - but my wife AND our therapist both believe that’s a terrible idea. I just simply disagree. It’s weak for my wife to just walk away and blow up our family.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:24 PM
2

Dude, I hear you and see you. I’m consumed by these “lasts” and I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:03 AM
3

Admire you for leaving it all on the field. I’m trying the same and it all falls short to her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:13 AM
5

I’ve been in the basement for two months so separation has started. All her call. She has almost no interest in reconciliation (I didn’t do anything major like cheat), but she still expects me to act 100 percent normal, no emotion or sadness and to be there when she’s sad about non marital stuff. It’s mindfucking at its finest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:12 AM
3

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:18 AM
7

I hear you, man. The loneliness sucks beyond words. No one seems to care how I’m hurting over my wife’s unilateral decision. I’ve not found the energy yet to focus on myself. I’m still trying to save a marriage. The silence is deafening and I hate it like you. Hang in there. DM me anytime.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:16 AM
5

So so sorry to hear this man. My wife asked for a divorce two months ago and all she does is continue to criticize me almost non stop to the point of being hostile, narcissistic and demeaning. Once a narrative forms in many women’s heads, it’s hard to change it. There’s no reasoning with emotion. And the more I’ve tried to save our marriage the more divorce has become real. Hang in there man, that’s a lot to carry and hold within yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 06:59 PM
3

I hear you man. I had to tell my wife to turn off the Christmas songs in the car when we were driving together the other day. “All I want for Christmas is you” messed with my brain. Because that’s all I want and she doesn’t. 💔
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 08:23 PM
2

This is my wife. Right now for the last eight weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:10 PM
3

Hang in there man. Same here. Happy to chat if you need it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:03 PM
3

Amen man. Going through the same where my wife says she has made it known — but not really and not open to much of anything. She says it’s all my fault. Even down to not going to therapy sooner when she was the one with issues eating away at her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:03 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. I’m the husband on the receiving end. I didn’t do anything egregious like the “big” martial sins. I don’t want this ending. But as you wrote I’ve been in therapy for a few years to become a better person and husband. She’s not reciprocated anything except to become more hardened in her views toward me that our marriage has been awful for 20 years. I’ve both observed and tried to convince and the results have been revealing. She just seems so lost in her own song and narrative…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:45 PM
1

Funny you mention her mom. Her mom is one of the most negative people I’ve ever met. And she and my father in law moved here a a few years ago from 800 miles away. In that time my wife has become more like her and she’s become the sounding board. After 50 years of marriage her parents aren’t in a good place and Nate constantly fighting. Among other reasons for divorce for my wife, she says she doesn’t want to be like them. I’ve tried to say we can be better than them if we work at it. But she ha…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:39 PM
2

Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:09 PM
2

Thank you! I actually tried that way between weeks three and four of marriage counseling and she HATED it. I was being civil and simple in my replies and engagement. She then made the comment several times along the lines of “well for someone who wants to save our marriage you sure aren’t showing me any effort” so I moved back to being supporting and available despite my own needs with the divorce bomb she detonated in our lives. It seems that no matter what path I choose it’s always wrong - neg…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:02 PM
6

Hang in there man. I keep trying to save my marriage and my wife just sees everything I do in a negative lens — literally everything while ignoring all the kindness I’ve tried to show her. The holidays are tough man. Here in Virginia, too, and while we’re still in the same house we’re sleeping separate and nothing feels normal at all. Sounds like you really loved her. I hope you’re able to find someone new in the future to share your goodness with.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:56 PM
11

Hey man I hear ya. Separated for two months in the same house and I’m dreading what you’re going through today. I ask myself all the time now - how the fuck did I fuck up this badly? I didn’t do anything egregious or obvious; she just built a narrative and hasn’t changed from it. It’s mind boggling after nearly 25 years. I’m trying to take care of myself and try to do the same when you can. We have to protect ourselves. All of this — all the levels, layers and milestones — suck. I don’t wish the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:10 AM
3

Eight weeks of therapy and my wife’s narrative dominates the hour. The last two when I’ve said hey I want to share some things, she then basically invalidated what I said. That it didn’t matter and wasn’t her lived experience. Our therapist had to tell her that’s real to him. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 01:32 AM
1

I think it’s helped take the edge of anxiety off. I was in a really bad place. Been on it for nearly three weeks now. I anticipate being on it for a long time to come as it will take me a long time to over come 24 years of marriage now ending. Out of the blue with no remorse or care on her end.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 02:10 PM
11

24 years married here and poof, eight weeks ago, I’m told that’s it. Not even a chance at reconciliation or healing. Thank you for articulating many of the things I’ve been feeling. Hang in there, man.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 02:07 PM
2

Hang in there, man. Eight weeks into this awful journey and I’m a shell of myself now propped up by Prozac. The things you name and more are the exact things I’ll miss, too. And she doesn’t see to care. She’s “found her voice” and is “standing up” for herself which I’ll never ever understand. Hang in there. Hardest thing ever.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 02:02 PM
2

Nearly the same here, man. Two high schoolers and an 8-year old. I’ve been gutted for two weeks unable to focus on work or do much of anything. I’m on Prozac now. Barely sleeping. Barely eating. Need to slap on a smile the next four days for family holiday stuff and pretend everything is normal. I just want our marriage back (in a new and healed way). We’ve been in therapy for eight weeks but with different goals - her to become friends me to heal and stay married. Just gutted. Feel free to DM i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:30 PM
3

It’s wild and beyond immature. 🤬
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:20 AM
12

My wife of 24 years is a pro at this. Now she wants a divorce because everything is literally my fault she says.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:01 PM
2

Thanks, man. I’m trying. I never wanted to be here nor feel this way. I tried to make her feel “visible” but she said nope she feels invisible. I’m not the only source of that - her parents and her bosses have been, too — but I guess she can’t divorce them. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 03:04 AM
1

Thanks man. I don’t think I’m going to heal, either. This is too devastating on so many levels.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:14 AM
3

Thank you, man. I have a tiny flicker left that maybe she’ll change her mind. We’ve been in therapy for seven weeks but for different purposes - me to heal our marriage; she to heal and become friends so we can coparent. I just want our marriage back without going back to the way we were. Yes we needed help. Now we have it but she doesn’t want that. Luckily I began a fitness journey two years ago and I’m in the best shape of my life, but I’ve also lost 10 pounds and now on Prozac which is messin…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:13 AM
2

Amen brother. Three kids here too. My wife “found her voice” in her own therapy and, well, divorce is her answer to all her woes. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:57 AM
3

Thank you for sharing. Your words are great to read About to step into this awful world - well my wife told me eight weeks ago, so it’s been exhausting so far. We haven’t hashed out any details; still waiting to see if she actually wants to do this. I don’t. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:55 AM
4

I’m scared of the loneliness, too. I’ve only ever known life with my wife. Assuming she wants to follow through on her choice to end 24 years of marriage, I’m going to need to rebuild, too, and have the same questions, OP. Thanks for asking the question.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:41 PM
2

Same here. Therapist at work who coached my wife to be free and that anything from our past was fair game to add up into a “you don’t see me” argument as to why she wants a divorce - despite years of hard work to intentionally see her. Three kids. She gets mad when I say why are you blowing up our family.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:52 PM
2

Same here. I’m so sentimental about stuff like this anyway. 24 years of marriage, three kids. Poof. Cohabitating in the same house but it’ll be different next year and it sucks so badly. Unless my wife has a giant change of heart, the sadness can be overwhelming at times. Happy to chat with anyone who’d like to.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:23 PM
1

Oh man I’m so sorry. I’m having those same feelings. It’s so hard to comprehend, absorb and accept. The sadness is so much.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 08:01 PM
3

Oh man I’m so sorry. That’s awful, sounds like we have very similar stories and sadness. Feel free to Dm me if you’d like to chat.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:28 AM
3

Thanks for sharing man. I see you. This sucks beyond words.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 11:22 PM
3

Thanks, man. She’s made it pretty clear in the last 48 hours that we’re done. This sucks and hurts so badly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 11:21 PM
1

Thanks. We have teenagers with eyes who have observed plenty over the last few years, so I feel their questions may be more pointed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:58 PM
2

Do your kids sense or know who wanted divorce? Sounds like you didn’t but your wife did. We have to tell our kids soon and I know I can’t overtly say mom wanted this, but it’s also so unfair that it has to be presented as a joint decision. It’s not. It’s unilateral.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:43 PM
3

Thank you. By the time divorce is final I’ll be 50.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:29 AM
4

Oh man I’m so so sorry. I hear your pain on so many levels. Sending you positive vibes. Thank you for your words.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:36 AM
5

Thanks, man. What’s even sadder for me is I have a really small family and none are local. My wife’s family is here so she’ll have them to support her. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:13 AM
3

Truth. Then when it was my turn after five sessions yo finally say enough. I have shit I want to say too. Oh no, she suddenly didn’t want to relitigate the past. Not what I wanted to do per se but was trying to show hey I have emotions, too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:08 AM
5

Sadly it’s become clear she needs to be the main character and I’ve tried to make her that - but her core issue with me is that I make her feel invisible. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:06 AM
4

And I was willing to change, had changed and wanted the structure of therapy to help us both. Nope, not for her. 💔
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:04 AM
5

Love how you think, man. I am a reward. It’s her loss. Thank you for affirming that in me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:03 AM
3

So sorry, man. Together 28 years and poof, all gone in a flash. I’ll never comprehend it. I’m so sorry that you were treated that way.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:54 AM
5

Trying to the dad part but that’s been so hard because we’re a great parenting duo. We see that in each other. I hate the idea of the separation from our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:53 AM
5

Thank you, brother. I’ve been crying and trying to feel good then crying. Yes at some point I want to play around and feel loved. I need it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:48 AM
4

Thank you, man. She was just looking me across the table with these eyes and I wanted to just scream at her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:47 AM
6

100 percent what if’s. She decided on this script before I could even weigh in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:13 AM
5

I’m sorry man. Hang in there, too. It’s so gut wrenching
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:13 AM
5

Yes she seemingly did. Sigh. How is that fair? Why not even try?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:12 AM
6

Thank you 🩵
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:12 AM
2

Just started this awful journey, too. I share that question- does it get easier.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 03:58 PM
2

DM me. Very similar situation here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 10:27 PM
8

Should I read this out loud in my next couples therapy session to my wife? She has no interest in healing our marriage so what do I have to lose? It’s spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 05:01 AM
2

Married 24 years here. About to likely enter divorce - her choice. I want to work on our marriage. However she’s expecting that we’ll be great friends after. I can’t reconcile that - she’s the one blowing up our family and treating me with contempt and anger. How did you decide to remain friends? I know people do it, but I just can’t no matter our long history.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 04:39 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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