Just sharing into the ether…

I had made some significant progress on accepting what my wife wants - a divorce so she can start her new life and feel free, whatever the heck that means.

As I’ve shared before, there’s damage and destruction with divorce that she doesn’t really care about.

But lately I’ve come to accept the path forward because I more clearly see who she is - and it’s not someone I want to be with anymore. As I’ve also shared, I have no more attraction to her. It’s gone.

However, I’m really sad today. Feeling lonely. Feeling mad. Mostly because our oldest child is really starting to show signs of struggling. Can’t focus on high school work. Can’t sleep. Isn’t eating. Seems to be in a loyalty bind pledging allegiance to my wife, which is fine right now if that helps my child make it through this.

But I’m back to anger and sadness. It didn’t have to be this way. My wife could have made another choice and tried to work toward an improved intact family. Nope, she “needs” out, damage be damned, including CHILDREN.

I know there are stages and waves of grief. I’m going through that and will again. I had been feeling really good and optimistic, but the weight on our child is weighing me down, making me angry for the pain that a child has to carry.

Sigh.

This is all so miserable yet there’s optimism on the horizon.