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totallydone2020 Archive

View 7 posts and 26 comments by totallydone2020 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Neither my marriage or divorce were the result of prior patterns. My wife was a completely different person than prior partners. It was near perfect until it wasn't. Ultimately, her lack of commitment to work on the marriage is what I feel ended it. When I was close to my bottom, emotionally not health/finance, her response was a combination of platitudes and telling me my issues were not something she would work on. I had contributing issues, but after that convo it was nearly impossible to pul…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 11:18 AM
2

I'm still trying to get over some sexual anhodenia that developed toward the end. Although it may be a mental block that disappears, the thought of getting sliced gives me extra concern.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:14 AM
4

Just do it. I met for breakfast after having a drink to chat the night before. My introvert side tagged along to breakfast and shit there were akward pauses. Turned out not to be a problem, just thought I was more quiet. Meeting up for an activity date in a few days. I'm not overly aggressive, so the lack of trying to go home on night one may have been appreciated. Going through high school with severe acne left scares on the confidence. Decades later, it's still there even though I have a decen…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 11:48 PM
3

Yeah. That was my thought originally. The one I picked to be there until the end gave up and tried to manufacturer our relationship into a bad one to support her narrative. Why should I care what this stranger thinks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 08:23 PM
1

Noted.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 06:57 PM
1

Discernment counseling is like an HOA or Condo, in theory it works, but in reality flawed people ruin it. My wife went to on joint meeting and did not like what I had to say. I think the counselor pissed her off by telling her she said nothing that cannot be worked out. We each had a solo session then it was put on pause. I ended up going solo again to hear that she isn't willing to do anything. The worst part is that she suggested counseling on the way out the door after shooting down my reques…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 11:40 PM
2

Mine just passed. We were to go to an awesome steakhouse. In place, a happy birthday text. Honestly just pissed me off
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 11:16 PM
9

I don't really understand the friend angle. My wife was my best friend. At some point, my best friend stopped caring about my needs. A friend would not quit without talking first. We had a number of great years but now when I see her all I see is pain. How can she be a friend?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 03:21 PM
0

I'm in the middle of that now but I would not cop to 50%. She put more effort into avoiding issues and destroying our marriage than she ever did to repair it. Tragically about 5 months before she dropped it, we had a conversation where she was sad about our status and wanted to work on things. Work she did not. By way of illustation: I need to go to Paris for my sanity and physical well being. Ohh, ok. Well, here we can go to Vegas because there is a mini eiffel tower. Head pat. After then immed…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 11:55 PM
2

She didn't try to take the dog. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:32 PM
3

Other than mothers and coworkers, I question whether women are capable of being as loyal.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:30 PM
1

I am about there. Officially living apart but trying counseling soon to see if it died on the vine. She put more effort into ending the marriage than maintaining or repairing it. If I become a better version of myself, does she deserve it? Not the version she is today. Two years ago when things started to putter, yes. I deserve better than this version and our marriage damn sure deserved better than the way she went for the exit. The move out was ridiculous. What's hers is hers, what's ours is h…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:29 PM
1

Reasonable response. I felt this reaction reading it. Sorry mate. Why do women trivialize sex like this? It fills movies and trashy books they read, maybe because it is coming from the man being taken for granted not Fabio, some bum artist on a boat, or a billionaire with a dungeon.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:20 PM
1

I think that is a possibility, but through recent conversations she has a look that she wants it to work. Honestly, I just don't think she knows how and anything I say is biased or criticism. The money doesnt bother me, we're splitting it. Deep down, I am more curious than anything. Does she truly see me as the monster built in her and her friends' mind? Can see take accountability? Can she understand from a third party that she needs to work and my needs matter? Today, I do not see it as giving…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:19 PM
1

I would add infidelity as well. Although, I do understand how one can make their spouse more likely to pull the trigger. This is something I explicitly stated to my wife in discussions, but she doesn't care. Whatever her true reasons, she is rewriting history with support of a toxic friend. I was told she was done during years that I received loving cards,etc affirming her love, friendship, and marriage dedication. My role was definitely there. More than anything, I feel like my biggest downfall…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:39 PM
1

60 days in still living together. Fucking sucks. I am also thinking it may be easier when she is gone. Due to selfish behavior after a month of niceties, dinner, and some activities, my resentment is growing. How can this person who was so sweet be so self-centered and cruel? The whole thing is a total mindfuck. When I think about her reasons, a distortion of reality, I get furious. Often, I compare the objective complaints she had with my larger issues (summed up as being lonely in our marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 03:55 PM
1

I'm still in it, so no after experience to share. But, I think my wife is in the same boat. My view is that she can think that because she lost all respect for me as her husband long ago. She is selfish and has no idea what pain she has caused, prior to and including leaving. Ask yourself, would a friend do this to you? No friend I have would leave me like this and try to steal our (not her) dog. Relationships end. That happens. People also give up while refusing to look in the mirror. That is n…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 01:30 PM
9

This sub is great for support. After 2 months post dissolution request, I am still gutted. Wife has been hanging out over the past month. On the eve of move out, she suggests maybe counseling after moving. At this point, she has shown no effort toward rebuilding herself only an acknowledgement on how she sees my counseling has changed me. I'm not sure she is worthy of a better me this yea although she was a few years ago.. My suggestion is that you analyze everything. It sounds like respect is g…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 12:48 AM
1

Wasnt service just stating that she wanted a dissolution followed by the weirdest period without kids
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 03:02 AM
8

You may never know. I was told this was a long time coming, conflicting with handwritten cards ong the way. This week I discovered a helpful exercise for myself. I opened a notes app and started listing all of my issues prior to D Day. It helped me get some perspective. Who do I want? Damn sure not the person who wants to leave me. Do I want the person who chose to not change a single thing when I told her I was lonely? Do I want the person that requests a divorce months after I inform her I'm h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 01:00 AM
3

I do not have a kid in the mix, but I identify. For the first roughly month, I was taken aback, sad, angry, and looking forward, mostly ignoring her. Over the past few weeks, there have been a number of conversations that clearly show a lack of prior communication or miscommunication. Now, she tells me that she was diagnosed with a disorder that explains some behavior that often upset me. I can't take back my attitude, reactions, or statements, but it is unfucking fair to just act as everything …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 06:48 PM
7

Honestly, my current wife(days numbered until we sign and file) did not cheat on me to my knowledge. However, she was a feminist when we met. It never really impacted our life. Now, after her ask for a dissolution, I see that as a primary contributor. Her complaints are things I said that were not objectively offensive (aside from one comment I regretted for years). One was telling her to slow the fuck down when she was walking ahead of me on the way to the car when I wanted to be next to her. N…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 10:40 PM
5

For her, she may have said some hurtful things. In practice, she was far worse on ignoring my needs or downplaying them. "If X," it would be different, until X occurs and she doesn't change course.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:45 PM
1

Wild how they can't make it work with you, but somehow will be able to handle it all alone. This seems to be the new women's movement. Stop putting effort toward your loyal husband, take every statement as a full attack, and the take what he loves most(other than her if she opened her eyes) on the way out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 02:03 PM
1

Mine is trying to take the dog. :-/
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 03:06 AM
1

Nice
/r/AntiFeminists31/01/21 02:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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