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DoBetter4us2024 Archive

View 6 posts and 32 comments by DoBetter4us2024 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Don’t make concessions, hold firm. You said you are divorcing after a couple of decades, does the state you live in consider the time you have been married entitle you to proceeds from the house, even though she bought it. If they do try to get her to buy you out of your portion of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 12:06 AM
2

I am so sorry and heartbroken that your wife is abusing your daughters, there is no place for that. I agree with your lawyer, don’t give her a heads up. I would talk with your lawyer about how she is treating your kids and try to get her taken out of the house before she really hurts one of them. You already have her leaving your 14 year old on the side of the road and then telling her to go ahead and kill her self. I would think the court would remove her from the home so your kids can be safe …
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 11:58 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 12:59 AM
6

I wouldn’t look at the facts in front of me of what my ex was showing me. I was living my life with my head in the sand. My ex showed me she wasn’t interested in me but what I could provide for her, she wasn’t affectionate and wouldn’t hold my hand when we were out. She didn’t like to have sex with me and didn’t want to do things together unless she had too. I didn’t want to accept what she was showing me. We weren’t right for each other and to be honest I didn’t really love her either, I liked …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 01:39 PM
1

Thank you all for your support, understanding, and sharing, you all have been a help. This is such a great place to share and seek advice and ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:16 PM
1

Moving on is tough but it sounds like you have taken this bull by the horns and are beating it. Like someone else said on here ghosting her is the best thing. I had thoughts like you, let her know what she did and put here in her place, blast her with both barrels so to speak. But that would only let here know she got to and can get to you. Congratulations on closing this chapter of your life, good luck with move and new job. You got this!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 05:06 PM
5

It is frustrating to give half of our things away. My ex came back after 10 years of divorce for more of my retirement, that has only added to my anger. I didn’t have to pay off the house but when I moved out she took on the mortgage and all the bills. When we sold the house we split the profit but she had fallen behind on the mortgage and bills and had to pay for them from her portion, $10,000 dollars. She gets 25% instead of 50% of my retirement because I worked so long and 25% of a 457 retire…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:22 PM
4

I do have a lot of resentment over my marriage and maybe that’s where some of this anger comes from. Haven’t tried the journaling yet
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:50 AM
3

Motorcycle therapy and talking with a close friend who is tired of hearing about it is the only “therapy” I have done.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:46 AM
5

I agree alimony is an unpleasant reminder. Get her married off, fortunately, mine remarried less than a year after our divorce was final.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:59 AM
4

Don’t rob yourself or let her rob you of life. I know the feeling you have right now because I had thoughts like you are having and I know you don’t want to hear it but she’s not worth your life. If she is anything like my ex she will find some kind of sick pleasure if you do it. I know you can’t see it right now because I didn’t, things will get better, YOU will get better and become a better man! You will win not her, don’t let her see you are hurting like you are. Yes divorce hurts but it doe…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:52 AM
1

I just want to be ambivalent towards her and it’s hard for me because I replay the things I allowed her to do over in my head and that helps fuel my anger feeling. If I may ask how did you teach yourself to resist letting it control you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 04:49 PM
1

Someone else said the same thing, I know I have told myself that focus on living my best life now and it’s tuff with the anger I fell inside, I will try and I will do it!,
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 04:45 PM
1

I have told myself that anger is easier then feeling the hurt and the emotions that go with it but it’s no, I build more anger and resentment and I try and make good people pay for it. That’s evil and unfair to put my poor choices on them and not where it belongs. I have let it stay unprocessed and have tried to avoid it like the plague, when the reality is all I have done is build a wall of anger between my friend and anyone else who has tried to help and myself. My friends husband has said sev…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 02:51 PM
2

Thank you, I had a friend recommended writing a letter and not send and someone else here suggested writing a letters also. That is something I can do and express the feelings and thoughts you describe. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 02:35 PM
1

I did have a friend suggest writing a letter to my ex about my feelings and hurt but never sending it. I did it one time, not like you have written letters over the years. I think I can see the therapy in that, I just have to make myself do that. Not dealing with it has caused problems for me in how I relate to people and especially with my friend who bears the weight of my misdirected anger. I would just like not to feel anger or turn my hurt into anger anymore and just be indifferent towards h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 01:48 PM
2

I am free and do feel that she did me a huge favor by leaving me, it is nice not to wake up with her or do anything with her. I will take your advice and live in my victory everyday. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 01:21 AM
2

Thank you, I am tired of being angry and want to be done with it. I do have a problem with misdirected anger and did for a long time blame her and point my finger at her. I do need to be angry with myself because I allowed her to treat me like crap, that was my decision to let her. I have to learn to push my anger out and be thankful for good supportive friends and the good life I have without her. Thank you for your encouragement.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:18 PM
3

I am just tired of being angry over something so toxic. I don’t miss her, I miss the marriage I wanted to have. Like you I am 100% better off. Maybe we have trouble breaking free of these “trauma bonds” you mention because we don’t look back and see clearly what the marriage really was. Mine was dysfunctional and one sided(her side) and I didn’t stand up for myself because I didn’t want her to leave me,which happened anyway. I had my part in my marriage failing,but it’s take me along time to adm…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:07 PM
1

I understand wanting/thinking about getting revenge, it won’t change anything. Your ex sounds like mine. Take her back to court because of her denying you seeing your kids. Our visitation was set around my work schedule, I was a firefighter working shift work. Visitation was 2 weekends a month, Friday to Sunday. After we went to court and got the Friday to Sunday put in our visitation paperwork I sent my visitation request that same afternoon. One of the weekends I requested was for Saturday to …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 07:02 PM
2

Thank you for your support and encouragement to replace it with something healthy and beneficial to me. Enjoy the holiday season.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 08:37 PM
1

I do have a problem holding onto past things that have either bothered me or made me mad. I know it’s not good or healthy for me but I still do it and have trouble letting it go. There are times I have thought, do I just want something to be mad about. I have been trying to work on it and let things go and will continue to work on myself. Thank you for reinforcing what a close friend has told me multiple times to let it go, they add, and move on so you can be happy. Thank you again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 08:35 PM
2

I held onto my anger or bitterness as you said but for longer than you have. It was killing me inside or I should say I was killing myself inside by holding on to it. I had a friend tell me that I was giving her control and space in my head she doesn’t deserve. I look around everyday at what I have and how much better my life is now. I know it’s hard but the sooner you can do it the better you will feel. I’m pulling for you and you CAN do it!!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 10:02 PM
1

He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad and I think my daughter doesn’t encourage it due to her hatred towards her ex. She won’t look at it from the point of she is hurting her son.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:43 PM
2

If my ex-wife had a sister it sounds like it could be your ex-wife. For me when my ex-wife gave me the cold shoulder it felt like a weight was placed on. Don’t know if you felt something similar.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:11 AM
1

He does not come around, he is 19 but does not have a drivers license. Something his mother hasn’t encouraged him to get.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:05 AM
1

Thank you for your thoughts, I am living in a mental prison and I haven’t thought of it like that. It is of my own doing and I have been afraid of not having my daughter in my life, but if I sit back and look at it for what it is, I don’t have her in my life now. Thank you for saying I can still love my kids even without them in my life, that means a lot to me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 04:11 PM
1

You are not wrong for wanting to leave. It is tuff to be ignored and not wanted, I had that same dynamic in my marriage. It hurt and I pushed the hurt down and only made myself angry and then exploded outward at people who didn’t deserve my anger. Try to talk with someone you feel safe with to express your feelings, something I wish I would have done. Start setting yourself up for post divorce and as someone already said, don’t leave the house. She may try and turn the kids against you as mine d…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:50 PM
1

Thank you for your words of encouragement, a friend has said similar things to me and encourages me to stand up for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:27 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:17 PM
1

I do not provide financial support now, I used to help her with money when she would ask me. I got to feeling like an ATM machine because it felt like that was the only time she would call me. Sometimes she would ask out right and other times she would tell me that she didn’t know how she was going to pay a bill or how she was going to pay for a repair around her house and I would offer up the money for it. At the time I didn’t look at it as manipulation but that is what it was and I allowed it.…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:13 AM
3

My daughter does not encourage him to have a relationship with me. He does have a phone that she pays for and she is taking it from him on multiple occasions when she feels he has done something she doesn’t like. I have texted him in the past and have not gotten any response from him, I feel that is because my daughter is either intercepted the message or discourages him from responding to me. I know I don’t know that for sure it is just a feeling I have.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 11:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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