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DowntownLife_ Archive

View 11 posts and 89 comments by DowntownLife_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Similar story here. Not much you can do but live your best life without these ghouls. Just be there for the kids, hopefully they come round.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 06:28 AM
1

I’d be very careful if a woman I’m seeing won’t be intimate with me until my divorce is finalised. If you’re committed to the divorce a piece of legal paper shouldn’t dictate what goes on in the bedroom with your new partner. Unless you are religious yourself that’s a tall ask.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 08:35 AM
1

In my case I’m glad to see the back of her. I really hope she meets someone and they fall madly in love. You may be recalling her through rose tinted glasses. Prepare an ick list, all the things she called you, times where she disrespected you, all the shitty things she did on you, any signs she turned others against you. How she handled herself in the separation. Then throw yourself into things, work, exercise, journal, listen to music, watch Netflix. Go to the movies, see old friends, swim in …
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 08:01 AM
4

Yes I agree, when he tells her he’s moving on she’ll turn septic.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 08:47 AM
5

I’m in your situation in that I was in a marriage where my wife was abusive, kids similar age, she filed after I stopped putting up with her nonsense. Like you I have met an amazing woman who cares about me. This was a year after my wife filed and two years after she really ramped up the discard, & 5 years since she denied all affection and 10 years since she started treating me like shit. My wife hasn’t tried to hoover me back either but I have considered what I’d do if it happened. The answer …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 08:42 AM
2

Had this, it was an incident from 14 years ago where a family member of hers verbally abused me and I spoke back. Raised its head again and again and even appeared in the divorce papers. Clown show.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 05:00 AM
1

Ouch, move on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 04:44 AM
2

Good point. I have been accused of coercion, financial control and causing her to live in fear. All nonsense. My ex is aggressive, strong, fit and a hard individual. She can be very unpleasant and if it came down to a fist fight I’d question my chances. Like you, I know of no instances in my 57 years on this planet where a hand was laid on a woman. Dealing with the exes accusations I have been overly sensitive to both the media and conversations I hear re DV against women, one would think it’s u…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 04:40 AM
9

I chased mine, bad move. Let them go. Make one offer of counselling and that’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 04:21 AM
2

And how did that work out for her?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 04:17 AM
2

Who was kicked out of the father’s house, you or her? Main character syndrome at play here. They all have a narrative, mine did, it included the same crap you’re reading here. Forget about her, she sounds like she’s for the birds anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 08:47 PM
1

Setraline takes two months to kick in. For me it was worth it. Made a big difference.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 08:43 PM
3

Amen. Life is only starting.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 07:35 AM
4

You don’t understand man, sorry. 32 + years of trying is the backdrop to this. He knows where he stands. Time isn’t on his side, what’s left is precious. This woman isn’t going to change, he needs to get out and enjoy the life he has left. As a 32 year old you need to be acutely aware of what really going on in your marriage and make a call if things aren’t working, there’s an important lesson for you in this thread. A lot of us here ignored red flags for decades hoping things would improve.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 07:33 AM
5

Same here, nearly 60. Like you I did my best, paid for everything but was blamed for things not going as well as they could have on the financial front all while she did fuck all. Had that situation with the kids too where they were asking me whether we were getting a divorce. Oddly they didn’t ask her. Sex had to be begged for and crumbs were provided 3 or 4 times a year if I was lucky. In the latter years I remember feeling disgusted with myself after having sex with her. It was the act of beg…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 07:27 AM
1

Which is it? Those two things can’t both be true, pick a lane. If it’s ‘male-centered,’ that’s the point of a men’s divorce support sub. If you’re calling it misandrist, you’ll need to actually explain how a space for men talking about their own divorces ends up hating men, because right now that just sounds like a contradiction you threw together to sound clever, not an actual critique.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 08:48 PM
5

Unfortunately some women are just abusive. My wife certainly was.. It’s the same playbook, refuse affection, find fault with you about everything, complain to anyone who’ll listen, accuse you of coercion, financial control and DV, alienate the kids, get a Rottweiler lawyer, file and try to take everything. In my case my ex turned her family against me, refused mediation, refused couples counselling, refuses to pay towards any joint household bills and then accuses me of causing her to live in fe…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 08:09 PM
3

I’m a man who took stock and realised I was in an abusive marriage with a woman with strong narcissistic characteristics. I’m not away from her yet but I can see how much better my life will be without this ghoul judging me and holding me back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 07:43 PM
10

Are you having a laugh? Get on over to Divorce _Women so, prepare to be enlightened.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 07:39 PM
2

Mine made the same decision but with one small difference, she wants everything🤦
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 07:13 PM
2

Take one 10mg on a Friday lunchtime, should do you to Sunday. Do squats and weights, take ashwagandha supplement. Make sure to get your sleep and hydrate.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 05:55 PM
10

One word Taladafil, .5mg a day.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 02:52 PM
3

She gave out about me to them so much they shunned me. On one occasion her father decided to chastise me. I reacted verbally giving him some home truths about himself, this set the scene for a decade and a half Cold War. It was all crazy tbh, I learned one thing, know when not to take the bait.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 06:05 AM
0

Austerity measures? Can you elaborate? My wife will pay for nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 03:36 PM
13

My wife pushed to get engaged, then she pushed to get married within a few months. There was no slowing it down. Then she devalued and discarded me over two decades. She’s an avoidant narcissist from a home blighted by alcoholism, she should never have married. Her sisters have been through intense therapy but not my wife who sees me as the problem. To her I was a catch, I had an amazing house, a new Mercedes and a great job. Her mother loved me because at the time my wife was a party girl. On r…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 08:12 AM
4

Are they better off without you? Seems that’s what you’re telling yourself more than anything. You should have accepted the offer for Christmas dinner and you should be pushing for regular access, if I were in your shoes I’d seek 50 50 and no less. Get the ball rolling on this yesterday. Kids at that age know absolutely nothing, they base decisions on all sorts of things unrelated to you. Get back in there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/26 07:59 AM
25

How about. Not walking on eggshells Not fearing the sound of her car pulling up Not having to guess what mood she’s in Not having to listen to her nonsense Not having to deal with her trying to turn the kids against me Not wondering if today is the day I’ll receive reciprocal affection Not wondering if she’ll pay her share, after all I paid for everything Not having to deal with the in-laws she alienated against me Not having to make small talk to keep the show on the road because she was always…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 03:49 PM
1

I’m sorry for you in you later years having to live through this. My own parents in their mid 80s have been greatly affected by it all. It really seems to dominate their life right now as my Ex is looks to scapegoat me, alienate the children and leave me penniless.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 09:29 AM
5

Dr John Gottman identified the four horsemen of Divorce. The signs were there. Arguably it’s too late to fix at this point. The Four Communication Patterns Criticism: Attacking your partner's core character or personality instead of voicing a specific complaint. Contempt: Treating a partner with disrespect, mockery, sarcasm, or disgust from a position of moral superiority. Defensiveness: Making excuses or playing the innocent victim to avoid taking responsibility during a conflict. Stonewalling:…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 08:20 AM
7

Personally I’ll be signing and leaving. No handshake, hugs or anything. She’s told so many lies and painted me as an abuser and controlling. It’s been a 20 year devaluation and discard. I won’t be breathing the same air as her ever again never mind sharing a drink.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 07:01 AM
1

It’s the content that’s relevant regardless of who or what crafted it. Hit a chord for me and a lot of others it seems.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 06:56 AM
1

Yes the problem I have with all this is it’s rewriting the children’s past too. What do they do with the memories of a happy family we once had or the children thought they had.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:20 PM
5

Well I’d be making it my business to see the children with full access. In any event the kids age and make their own way in the world. What was every hour of every day becomes an hour or two a week, a few calls and a lunch every now and again. I struggled with the fact she blew up everything, now I’m just happy to get away from her. You need to let go.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 07:37 AM
3

Apple TV, dark comedy thriller.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 05:29 AM
10

She’s a snake, now insist on full financial disclosure before any deal. Simple. What’s the worst that can happen, you have one adult child.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 05:27 AM
2

You’ve a few years on me, late 50’s. Glad to hear your pecker is enjoying the benefits 😁 Use it or lose it! The years I’ve wasted being breadcrumbed.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 08:31 PM
4

What age are you. I’m struggling with a complete lack of libido.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 06:10 PM
1

Yep, “the children will adapt they’re very flexible” was her mantra. She’s a dense clown with no concept of the real world, all about image and her little performances. Thinks the Gaza Strip is a hair removal product.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 09:04 AM
2

Need to change your mindset. Get therapy. From what you’ve written there’s nothing she’s done or is doing now that suggests to me she’s a good woman deserving of your love.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 06:32 AM
6

Everything is a deal with these bitches. Horse traded through 25 years. Still have to negotiate the closing deal. No more ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 06:09 PM
10

Coercive control right there. Record the conversation then take the information to a lawyer and file.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 06:06 PM
1

Great comments re the old house
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 12:23 PM
3

She sounds like a piece of work. You sound like you need therapy. Stop reacting, disengage, one line messages on WhatsApp related to kids as needed. Go legal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 09:02 AM
1

Sorry man. Rough.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 05:45 AM
2

My 22 year marriage summed up in your first 18 word sentence. Bravo 👏
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 05:37 AM
2

This, do it yesterday
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 05:27 AM
4

I’ll be where you are soon. I hate leaving the life I’ve built and my children but this woman absolutely despises me. Even if I managed to fix things up for the moment, my retirement with this ghoul would be a gruelling existence. Prisoners in Siberia would have a better more peaceful existence. Time to take a different path for both of us OP.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 10:24 PM
10

Main character syndrome. My ex wife does it all.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 08:35 AM
3

It’ll pass. Don’t use social media for a year or so.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 08:30 AM
8

My clown Narc ex brought the kids to place we used to go as a family for their holiday this year. She didn’t rent a car (I used to do all the driving) so everyone got Ubers everywhere. As soon as they set foot off the plane it was obvious I wasn’t there. My teen son told me he found it hard with me not there and called me 3 times in a week. I could tell he was sad. In your case focus on the kids, don’t get pulled into her BS.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 08:04 AM
1

Forget about trying to address these issues. Just get out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 08:36 AM
1

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 08:35 AM
7

Crap advice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 09:22 PM
1

Agree, I feel so sorry for my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 09:13 PM
1

Yes it’s without question a strain, I’m with an amazing supportive woman who’s a widow with young adult children. We recently went on vacation together and it was great, total escapism, now I’m back to the frontline trenches, dealing with legal fees, my difficult ex and the children she’s trying to alienate from me. Its hard but for me better than being on my own.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 10:13 AM
1

If you’re happy with the split, no need to lawyer up. No in my case I wouldn’t be paying her costs, she can take them from her part of the estate.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 07:59 AM
0

You have failed to answer the man’s question with your little lecture?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 07:58 AM
11

I’m not in IL, not even in the US tbh. But I want to chime in. My ex has played this card, it backfired, here’s a few nuggets from my experience. Lawyer up like yesterday, cut down on ALL communications. Keep it to WhatsApp, don’t get pulled down rabbit holes. “No” is a full sentence. Keep messages court safe and limit to 10 word reply’s. No rambling reply’s or tit for tat arguments over text. Those days of debating stuff with her are over. Get a routine, library, tennis, gym, office, walks, mee…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:33 AM
4

No right answer. It’s not two years, it’s not three years, it’s whatever feels good. Some of us here have been in a dead bedroom for a decade and are in our 50’s or 60’s. We don’t have 3 years to recalibrate. In my own case my ex was planning her exit for at least two years. During this time she was caustic. She tried to play the silver bullet and it backfired. Nearly three decades was enough of my life to have lost with this clown, I needed to move on quickly. I’m still cohabitating a year and …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 07:11 PM
10

My wife will never respect any man unless he bankrolls her and has an ability to put up with absolute nonsense. He also must not value integrity or intelligent conversation. I picked a loser based on looks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 09:40 PM
6

Knight in Shining Armour, what nonsense. My MIL indoctrinated her Disney princess with this crap. It’s now deep rooted stuff, she’ll always resent you even if you get past this impasse. Advice, Lawyer up, file first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 04:06 PM
2

I’m in your shoes, I wanted a mediated agreement, she wants warfare. In her filing there’s so much crazy stuff about me that I really can’t believe it. All baseless untrue manufactured nonsense. She totally over states everything including her role within our family. I’m here in my home hunkering down for a long difficult fight. Not going anywhere until we thrash out something reasonable or it’s put in front of a judge. My advice, she’s being horrible to you anyway, what difference does it make …
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 06:24 AM
1

Should be a sticky
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 04:41 AM
1

Use OneNote for documenting daily. It timestamps. Just say nothing to her and stay out of her way. No is a full sentence. No long messages either. Keep each response to under 10 words. Wait a few hours before replying, reply like it’s being read by the judge. Sleep with your bedroom door locked. Remove alcohol and guns from the home.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 06:42 PM
2

She’s telling her mother lies, that’s why her mother feels justified in taking you on. That’s why your wife stands idly by. Lawyer up and bail under the best terms. It won’t improve.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 06:02 PM
9

Advice, shut things down, limit interactions and comms. No is a full sentence. Don’t engage. Sail a steady ship.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 07:11 AM
2

Yep, you need to keep them for the kids. I’ve kept all my family photos in an iCloud folder for the kids to look back on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:49 PM
1

Here in Spain at the moment, Costa Del Sol, the amount of Americans here is remarkable.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 09:07 AM
3

My experience of my late teen children is that they don’t care who did what, nor do they want to get into discussions about it. Somewhat annoying given their mother blew it up but putting my views to them would likely work against me, they just don’t want to know 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 06:34 AM
4

Get over your ex. Of course you’ll love someone again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:30 PM
6

My wife was abusive early on, used to blame me on her behaviour. 100% red flag. 3 years isn’t long, her entitlement will be minimal. Get out now, don’t have a kid with this woman by accident. You probably won’t take my advice though.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 11:56 PM
12

We need to vent now and again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 01:00 PM
4

I’ve been acutely aware that this was in the offing. For this reason I’ve said absolutely nothing to her other than by message. I had Claude analyse every single WhatsApp, Text and email to her since inception it couldn’t find a single abusive or controlling message from me to her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 01:00 PM
2

Thanks 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 08:31 AM
3

Yes fully agree, the eternal pursuit of happiness they’ll never find.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 08:31 AM
2

19, 21 and 16
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 08:51 AM
1

Thanks for your considered reply, will try. Edited, I’ve thought about your response and the shame my wife is feeling related to the loss. While correct I might add that the way she’s treating me now is little different than to how she treated me before the loss, this time she’s also thrown in the divorce card.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 05:29 AM
3

I agree, she probably has a subconscious deep dislike of me anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 03:22 PM
1

Thank you, the question was not about the money or trying to hide it, it was about the way my wife has treated me when the chips were down and my next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 03:13 PM
1

Maybe rich in The Sudan or some backwater town in India.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:27 PM
0

Read my post again, I never suggested keeping it from her and there is no mechanism to do this anyway. The question here is whether I can remain married after being kicked to the kerb by her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:10 PM
-5

Yes understood re common property. However I have made many good investments in other areas like property and pensions. She never saved anything, lived on credit and there was no talking to her. Your response isn’t an accurate reflection of the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 09:51 AM
0

Sorry I edited my post, my question relates to her potentially wanting to reconcile now I have made the situation good. Should I press on?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:47 AM
1

Your comment makes zero sense in the context of the post you are responding to. He’s talking about women refusing sex after they achieve their aims. You’re talking about him turning off the supply. Duh 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 03:48 PM
1

Was just sitting here with my Narc STBX who momentarily forgot she was supposed to be horrible to me. For about an hour she was chatty and pleasant, then she remembered who she / I was and sat with a face on her for half an hour before disappearing up to her room. Your story doesn’t surprise, they’re a certain type, not conscientious or caring. All they have time for is themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 10:22 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 10:08 PM
1

Wife wants me out, she’s was very aggressive about it. She first wanted me to go and live with my 80 year old parents. She saw a lawyer recently and oddly she’s calmed down on this front. Most likely because the solicitor told her I’m entitled to remain. I am going to delay this divorce and stay for 20 years if I can. I have no desire to meet other women and have enough going on with my job, travelling and sports so I don’t have to look at her face too often. We also have a very large house of w…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 01:31 PM
1

I have this situation, I did say I wanted a divorce months ago in an outburst which I very quickly rescinded on. She’s trying to convince me the only reason she wants a divorce is because of this incident and because she feels I really want one. Deny, deny, deny wanting a divorce. The only thing that seems to throw my wife off is when I tell her that she will have to tell the teenage children she wasn’t a divorce and not me. It’s all part of her narrative creation and pulling together the thread…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:27 PM
1

That’s rough man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 04:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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