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Exis007 Archive

View 0 posts and 200 comments by Exis007 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This feels like poor reading comprehension. Did you miss the part where this is the same guy I'm talking about? I am describing the same human being in both instances. I am describing the man currently playing a racing game in his home office and drinking my terrible coffee. I am describing him at 23 and I am describing him in his late thirties. It is just rare that we're still dating the same person at 21 and 36. Most people break up with the person they were dating at 21 at some point in time.…
/r/ExRedPill14/09/25 10:58 AM
2

>I’m 23 years old and you had me thinking in 10 years from now I’m going to have backaches and no energy to do fun things anymore? It’s depressing to be honest. Yeah, it is, honestly. And I will say you'll almost certainly have some version of back ache. Maybe your shoulder, maybe your knees. Let me say as the ghost of adulthood future, take care of your joints! But I wouldn't say you have no energy to do fun things. I do fun things all the time. I have the money to do fun things, and that helps…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/25 01:05 PM
1

Hi, I think I wrote at least part of the comment thread you're referencing. I think my first question would be what you can do/are doing to address the social anxiety and the low self-esteem. It's a bit like asking how you can train for the marathon with twenty-pound weights tied to your legs. My first piece of advice, were it relevant, would be to take the weights off. Running is going to feel so much easier if you're not carrying all that weight. Still, it's easier said than done, right? Build…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/25 12:35 PM
1

I am not sure I understand your question. This was two years ago, so add two. And do you mean, "Do you think of yourself as old?" or what? Compared to when I was 21, I am old. Compared to myself in 20 years, I've very young. It's a relative thing. I'd say half-way through my thirties my chickens came home to roost in terms of my body and my brain not doing what they used to do anymore. I don't have the working memory I had at 23, I have to write it down now or put it on a calendar. It's not terr…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/25 12:09 PM
7

You have to get deep into psychology to understand what's happening with people like that. I don't know if it helps or not, but I spend a lot of time thinking about cults and high-control groups, how people end up believing so fervently in bad principles despite otherwise being intelligent and empathetic people. It's hard to grasp, but you can dig into it. So, on one level, some people don't believe, don't understand, or haven't heard. People tend to live in bubbles and they get their news and i…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/24 04:25 PM
16

Do you like spam calls? Or, tis the season, do you like constant political phone calls asking you to donate or vote or volunteer? Do you like it when people knock on your door to sell you solar panels or weeding services or to buy charity bullshit? Do you like it when the guy at the mall around Christmas is hocking some new toy or a makeup set and he chases you past three stores trying to get you to try it? How about the guy outside the grocery store asking for signatures for the petition? All o…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/24 02:41 PM
5

There is a chance of another guy and it will always be that way. The same applies to her. You could cheat on her at any time. This never goes away. And outside of cheating, there are a thousand and one other petty betrayals you two could commit against each other. That's the cost of being in a relationship. You have to take that risk. I think what your brain is trying to communicate is that you could get really hurt if you trust someone and if you're really vulnerable with someone. And you could…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:22 PM
16

You might really like Contrapoints new video on Twilight. I feel like I talk about it a lot, but there's a point I'm making (and not about team Edward). Winn starts by talking about why women were so obsessed with this supernatural love story and all the criticism it received for being, you know, bad actually. She talks about how Fifty Shades of Grey, the BDSM fanfic written in the same universe, spun off and was also really popular. And she uses this all as a baseline text to do a deep dive int…
/r/ExRedPill02/09/24 12:27 PM
3

So, I've been giving this some thought. And I might be full of shit, because this is an idea I'm still workshopping. It seems to me, when I do this for myself, a big part of it comes down to figuring out who I want to be. My self-conception, my idea about who I am and who I am not, is the crux of the whole issue. I have a set of goals, values, priorities, and ideas about what a good life looks like for me. Just as an example, hard work is valuable to me. Reading and educating myself, thinking ne…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/24 02:45 PM
6

Most human beings are capable of experiencing attraction to someone without knowing anything about their personality. I'm not. The vast majority of humans are not asexual or demisexual But I am 100% allosexual as far as I know. I'm certainly not demisexual, which implies a level of depth and experience I don't require So…are most people not sexually attracted to their partners in that sense? Eh. It's going to depend. I tend to think about desire as a constellation of data points individual to sp…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/24 11:43 AM
1

Both? So, I don't know if you're old enough to remember this but for a while there were a string of articles that said "Millenials killed the ____". The mall, the diamond industry, mayo, black friday. Gen-Z is now getting "The loneliness epidemic". And it isn't that it's false, no one is lying. We have data to suggest malls are dying and we have data to suggest people are not going out, not making friends, and not getting in relationships. It's true. But when you pitch it the way it's being pitc…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/24 11:31 AM
7

It's 2024. If you're 21 in 2024 that means he was probably 17 when the lockdown started. That's missing at least the last year of high school and the first year of in-person college or the socialization in his own town with the population of newly minted adults. He's also coming of age during a time when Roe is struck down and we are seeing statistical lows for people both having sex and starting relationships. I'm not making this up, there's a lot of data and articles full of hand-wringing bein…
/r/ExRedPill14/05/24 11:02 AM
21

It's probably not perfect. But the blessing of 'single' is that it's more or less a blanket description. It's unnuanced because divorced people are single and teens are single and people looking for casual sex are single. It speaks to nothing but the factual lack of a romantic partner, and nothing more or less. From "never had a date" to "getting laid nightly", single encompasses it all. It's not there to describe loneliness or frustration or repeated rejection or failure. I get that. But it's a…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/24 11:00 PM
85

Okay, let's start with something important. The word for the phenomenon you're describing is single. Single. You're single. You're not an incel. Being single at 21 isn't uncommon. Being a virgin at 21 isn't uncommon. The word 'incel' implies the pill ideology, the hate, the philosophy, the radical group adherence. There's no reason to take that on if that doesn't accurately describe you. You can just be single, or a late bloomer, or just a guy who worried about dating a little later than other p…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/24 08:09 PM
4

Huh. TIL
/r/ExRedPill06/05/24 10:09 PM
17

Yeah, that's some bullshit. So, not to pick on you even a little, but unrequited means unconfessed. He never told her he loved her, so it was unrequited. I think you mean unconditional, like "I'll love you forever, no matter what you do or what bad things happen to you". And parents do feel unconditional love for their children. Dahmer's dad still loved him, despite everything he did. But romantic love should never be unconditional. If it were, you could never leave anyone no matter how unhappy …
/r/ExRedPill06/05/24 01:51 AM
21

So, I give this advice and I'm obviously not ex-anypill but I've had a lot of therapy. Therapy is great. Any time my mental health gets bad and I get I'm really struggling with life or my emotions, off to therapy I go! Provided I can afford it. I have insurance that covers it now, but there were times in my young adulthood where that was an expense I couldn't cover. But when I couldn't afford it, I still sought it. I read books and articles, I tried strategies that come from therapy. If you can'…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/24 01:57 PM
25

You cannot fix an inside problem with an outside solution. A lack of self-worth and low self-esteem are definitely the problem. The thing is, that is only something that comes from within. That doesn't mean that other people don't play a role, I don't think you can sit at home and just manifest it, but it also isn't a completely exterior solution. Lots of people have a ton of positive validation in their lives and it never penetrates their own poor estimation of themselves. If you are not right …
/r/ExRedPill23/04/24 01:32 AM
11

You have a foundational problem in this idea. Everyone has misogyny. Me included. Everyone deals with racism and transphobia and ableism and all various kinds of xenophobia. It's not a binary state where you either struggle with this or you don't. It's a spectrum of what kinds of ideas you've internalized and which you've deconstructed and how much you've internalized that deconstruction. I'm a woman and I have to deal with my own internalized misogyny all the time. We are, all of us, raised in …
/r/ExRedPill17/04/24 11:03 AM
8

So, I've been giving dating/relationship advice for a long time. I think there's a problem in the fundamental conception of the problem. You can't make a wholesome Andrew Tate, because any message I'd consider wholesome is not what people are looking for when they look for content from Andrew Tate. And it's not just Andrew Tate. He's the dying star in a larger cosmology of people who have been pushing love and dating advice for a long time. All of which, in my opinion, and you can basically stic…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/24 01:12 AM
2

Perhaps my experience is limited and I know it certainly doesn't speak to everyone, but casual sex is a culture. It can and does befall people at random--right place and right time--but if you're looking for a lot of it, you have to be in a social circle where casual sex is frequent and socially accepted. There's a pretty wide range of "kinds" of places for this. You have everything as quotidian to people who are out at bars and clubs regularly, and things as specific as swingers and sex clubs. …
/r/ExRedPill16/04/24 11:40 AM
9

Dump him! If I could, I'd dump him for you. There's a hard truth you have to grapple with, which is that reformation is possible. You just can't do it. He has to do it himself, and he has to want to do it. You're never going to help him to change his mind or fix this for him because it can't be done. If you glance at my post history, you'll see I spend a lot of time (maybe too much time, if we're being honest) talking to people who want out of the alt-right thought groups. Those are people who a…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/24 10:22 PM
4

So I explained it like this in another comment a while back. What does a confident man get you to do? Trust him. If I take you into my confidence, I'm trusting you to not reveal what I'm telling you. Confidence is a kind of trust. Specifically, it's a social trust in yourself or another person. If I confidently sing karaoke, there's no promise I'm a good singer. I can sing off-key just as confidently as I can sing well. My confidence isn't in my singing, necessarily, but the good nature of the a…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/24 06:41 PM
18

So, this is the kind of question where the right answers are so terribly general as to be useless. So I'll give you the least useless answer and that's communication. Communication is the holy grail. I don't know, can't know, what makes a good partner for some hypothetical woman you're going to date. You're going to have to ask her. That's the thing. You're going to have to talk with your partner about what you both want this relationship to look like and then do the work to make it so. You're g…
/r/ExRedPill05/04/24 12:50 PM
12

That's...bullshit. All of those are healthy traits. Like any healthy trait, they can cross over into unhealthy expressions. Confidence is great, but arrogance is not. So it's a common rhetorical device that if you want to be arrogant and not be called out on it, you say something like "God, everyone says be confident and here I am doing it, but you're giving me shit". That ignores the fact that you went right past confidence and into being a dipshit, and it's the dipshit part people take issue w…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/24 01:37 PM
1

By all means, let us get out the OED and trace the etymology of woke. Or, instead, we could have a practical discussion of what's been happening in the last, let's say 20 years or so and how the left co-opted black parlance that was then weaponized by the right, which is the point I was making. Not the entire history of everything everyone's ever said, but the last two relevant decades of its usage.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/24 07:13 PM
11

So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I disagree with Stern on this one. I have a much more narrow view of gaslighting and I agree that all the things on that list are part and parcel with emotionally abusive and controlling relationships, but they have their own terms and better umbrella terms than "gaslighting". I'd be quicker to put those under the heading of "emotional abuse" as a primary taxonomy. But that's mostly just naval gazing and arguing about the syntax of things, so maybe that'…
/r/ExRedPill27/03/24 12:42 AM
17

Are you asking, "How can you know the difference?" or "What do you do with the possibility that you might get it wong?". I am not particularly bothered about the possibility I got it wrong, if I am being honest. I probably get it wrong often enough. And I do not just mean this sub, I mean every place I give advice. Advice is not binding arbitration. I have no power to decree events as being one way or the other or to compel you to act. People are only going to take what's helpful. The biggest ri…
/r/ExRedPill26/03/24 12:38 PM
69

So, let me speak from the other side of this experience. I talk to a lot of people using catastrophizing as a logical fallacy. Examples of catastrophizing look like: One girl turned down my invitation to a date, so I'll be alone forever and no one will ever love me No woman has ever interacted positively with me in my entire life, including the five to seven all trying to help me right now in this very thread I am the ugliest person to ever exist on the planet. I know other people think that abo…
/r/ExRedPill26/03/24 12:00 PM
9

There's a new Contrapoints video on, of all things, Twilight. You know, the tween vampire romance? Except it's not really about Twilight that much. It talks a lot about how desire is the pursuer and the pursued. In heteronormative culture (this is not saying this is okay or good or how we should be organizing ourselves, but we're talking about the patriarchal soup we all have lived in for a long time) men are cast as those in pursuit. And, you're 100% right that we probably shouldn't be doing th…
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 01:31 PM
18

So...you're taking misogynistic cliche and saying "Supposing this is true, women are terrible". First, these are cliches and not particularly true. But let's talk about where they come from. I’ve heard so many stories about men doing these grand romantic gestures for women, but it doesn’t seem like women do things like this nearly as much. Grand romantic gestures aren't the materiality of love. They are often short-handed in the movies. No one wants to film "real" romantic gestures, because they…
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 01:04 PM
21

Empathy is a skill. So is sympathy. Pathos, which is the overriding system for both, has to be practiced. It's part of a larger framework from the Greeks that includes logos (reason) and ethos (credibility and ethics). So you're asking a question about women that can't be answered, because women as a group aren't endowed with a particular skill. Are women good at basketball? Well, Caitlin Clark sure as hell is. I'm pretty terrible. There's no real argument to be made there because the premise is…
/r/ExRedPill08/03/24 11:30 PM
2

The best critique I have of the tradwife nonsense is to think about it as conspicuous labor and conspicuous consumption. There is actual household labor involved in being a mom and a housewife. That tends not to be what people focus on. Scraping the burnt cheese off the lasagna pan is not glamourous. Cleaning toilets isn't glamorous. Vacuuming goldfish cracker crumbs out of the couch? Not glamourous. Women can and do make this kind of content, but it's by and large feminists talking about real l…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/24 02:28 AM
6

Have you been pregnant? I've been pregnant. I feel like you're being lied to and you need to go and read stories from people who are pregnant because it's not better. It's like saying "At least I'm not thirsty" while you're drowning in a lake. There's no one unified pregnancy experience, everyone is going to have it be different, and you probably won't get period cramps. You know, except you will. You'll get uterine cramps because those are contractions and you'll have them before and during lab…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/24 01:04 AM
15

This seems like a weird sub to post this in, but whatever. The reality is that you need to talk to a doctor. And, if we're living in reality, more than one. It really isn't true that women used to do anything. Over the whole course of human history, there have been numerous approaches to pregnancy, childbirth, and menstruation. People have used condoms and the pull out method for a long time. People counted and tracked cycles. People weren't just getting indiscriminately pregnant. More to the po…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/24 03:06 AM
38

I'm below 24, skinny, non-woke, not a feminist, I have a sense of style, and I've been compared to (I shit you not) both Madonna and Marilyn Monroe for my looks at some points in my life. Hell, I'm even a virgin! Yeah!! Suck it, redpill Have you considered this might be your problem? I know buckets, literally buckets of guys who are absolutely antithetical to what you're complaining about. All of them are woke. All of them are feminists. All of them would look at you funny if you described yours…
/r/ExRedPill29/02/24 01:49 PM
3

Well, that sucks for you.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/24 04:52 PM
2

Sure. Of course. But you don't always get to control things. You certainly don't get to order people to come in the specific dimensions of your choosing. So if you meet someone and you like them and the chemistry is there and everything's going just exactly right and you're thinking to yourself, "I can't do this because we're not both total beginners and their "experience" is going to dramatically worsen this for me" I'd really tell you to reconsider that line of thought. Maybe you'll get lucky …
/r/ExRedPill27/02/24 04:17 PM
1

This is one of those statements that uses an analogy to make sense, and your analogy does make sense. But the analogy only works if you think sex and chess have a lot in common, which they do not. Sex is pretty intuitive and not particularly hard. There are some skills to speak of when you get into the deep end of kink and if you want to do particularly acrobatic or perfectly timed maneuvers, yeah, skill-building might be involved. But, generally speaking, being good or fine at most things isn't…
/r/ExRedPill27/02/24 03:42 PM
53

So, when stated as just a preference, it isn't. "I only want to date women who eat pizza without black olives because black olives are disgusting" is a preference. Wanting a woman born on a leap year is a preference. No one cares. Date who you want to date, your requirements, regardless of how meaningful or arbitrary, are fine. But then you ask the next question, which is why someone cares or doesn't care about body count. When you ask why, people--generally speaking--give you misogynistic reaso…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 02:34 PM
82

You can't disprove the black pill. It's not an evidence-based field of study, it's an interpretive lens through which you take in information. You didn't come to it by facts and logic, you came to it by emotion. What's more, it's entangled with identity now, it's part of how you see yourself, so untangling it isn't a logic-based exercise. It's more akin to religion than anything else. Pilled thinking doesn't make a hypothesis, observe results, and then weigh the validity of the hypothesis agains…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/24 11:59 PM
30

I don’t want to just break up with him Why not though? I mean, I assume that since you're dating him he's otherwise got some great qualities and you enjoy his company. Otherwise, you wouldn't be with him. But is your point "Well, I guess I'll live with this underground misogyny" or "I can change him!". If your point is you're willing to live with it, I'd say that's ill-advised but it's your life. If your point is that you're going to change him....you're not.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/24 08:32 PM
38

This is moving the goal post and mind-reading. Red/Black Pill: No women find guys like [x] attractive Woman: Uh, I found a guy who is [x] so attractive that not only did I agree to go out with him, subsequently sleep with him, but I locked it down and agreed to marry him and sleep with only him until one of us dies, or whatever. Red/Black Pill: Yeah...so you must have been settling for him. And then...how do you disprove that? You can't. Because "Don't believe women's statements about their own …
/r/ExRedPill27/01/24 03:06 AM
15

Only thing I would add is: I think the men who tend to fixate on this never had fun, wild experiences in their youth, certainly not with the opposite sex, and deeply resent that. I never thought about that, but yeah, that's probably a big piece of the puzzle.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 04:36 PM
61

So, I've said this before but here I go. When I was 21, I dated a guy who wore a leather jacket and flip flops all winter. He drove a sports car. He had a lye burn on his hand because he saw Fight Club and was curious. He took me out to 2$ rum and coke night and we closed down the bars. We went to weird theater shows that didn't start until midnight. He dressed in drag and went to Rocky Horror with me. We stayed up all night listening to vinyl records and talking about philosophy. Now I'm 36. I'…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 12:50 PM
4

I do indeed think spontaneous desire and sex drive are different things. Person one says: "I have spontaneous desire to have sex once a week, I go to my partner and we have sex and it's wonderful". Person two says: "I have spontaneous desire once every couple of months, but my partner and I have sex once a week and I really enjoy myself when I get going, despite not always wanting to have sex independently" Person three says: "I have spontaneous desire once every couple of months. I don't enjoy …
/r/ExRedPill13/12/23 07:35 PM
5

Maybe we ought to be careful of using the term gatekeeping as it applies to sex and love. Gatekeeping usually implies a process by which some power structure keeps people from accessing resources. For-profit insurance companies are gatekeepers to medical access for people in poverty. Sex or love or committed romantic relationships aren't resources in the same way. They only exist by way of mutual consent. Anything short of that is, or should be, criminal. Sex is only sex when it is consensual. I…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/23 07:13 PM
10

Actually, there is some debate about this. I've done some digging into this and what I can come up with is pretty muddy. On one hand, there does seem to be a robust set of data that says men--across the board--have higher sex drives. They have more sex, they think and fantasize about sex more frequently, and the masturbate more regularly. But even within that data, some research concludes that between 24% and 29% have higher sex drives than your average man. One element that appears to be missin…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/23 01:31 PM
25

Here's a question for you to gnaw on. Why would we split this question by gender? We know people cheat. We know men and women cheat, men slightly more frequently than women. People have been studying why people cheat for a long time, there's a fairly robust body of research you can read about it if you're interested. Why are you only asking this question of women, why are women getting their own special logic here, why single women out at all? I get that it may well be the case that you're only …
/r/ExRedPill30/11/23 08:51 PM
3

No, I got your message that's why I responded. But sure, you can message me
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 06:43 PM
5

I guess the thing I'd have to say is more about the bigger picture of building a life. You're dealing with components of that, but I think you have to zoom out a little. It sounds like you're on a path to manage your OCD, and while it might be kind of stalled out now, at least you have the tools to keep trying things until you get whatever the right combo is for what you're up against. And, hey, you've had some success cold approaching which is great. But when you lose a relationship, and everyo…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 06:28 PM
4

But...who wrote the books? Fallible humans wrote them. Humans full of bias and superstition. Narrative and the limits of perspective infect everything until you get into really pure math.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/23 10:36 PM
6

I suppose I don't know what you mean then. Besides, that's not really about the laundry, it's about forgetfulness. Especially late at night, when I am most prone to it. It's not necessarily incorrect either, as vinegar is the right solution to that particular problem. So, what are flaws? Physical features you're insecure about? Personality quirks that can be difficult to live with? Mistakes that make life difficult? My husband once swiped our car against the brick wall outside my house and I lov…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 02:56 PM
9

I think it's pretty realistic. I've been married for almost seven years. I feel like I'm loved despite my flaws. I just don't think that loving me despite my flaws it the same thing as loving me unconditionally. My flaws, the dumb or irritating things I do typically, aren't the same thing as the full range of dumb or irritating things I could do. I often forget to put the wet clothes in the dryer and I have to rewash the load with vinegar to get the mildew smell out. That's a flaw I have. I have…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 12:21 PM
7

Can we talk about what trust is for a second? No one trusts anyone else because they are 100% certain that nothing bad will happen and they will never be betrayed. No one gets that certainty. It doesn't exist. We trust other people for our own selfish reasons. I have to extend my partner my trust because otherwise I'd live a miserable life and I'd make his life miserable in return. I'd be paranoid and jealous and upset all the time, and he'd leave me because it's not fun to live with someone lik…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 07:23 PM
40

Here's an analogy I like. Being a woman on a dating app often feels a lot like being a man with cash in his pocket at a strip club. If you've got a bunch of money at a strip club, you're very popular. Women will fall all over themselves to talk to you, be near you, sit in your lap. They will want you. But they don't really want you, do they? They want the thing you have. They want you to give it to them. And once you do, they're done with you and on to the next person. And if you're a man in a s…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/23 01:50 PM
2

Well, you engage your critical thinking skills. If you believed, instead of redpill nonsense, something else...you'd have the same experience. Let's say instead of women it was people with even numbered birthdays. And let's say that the mantra is that they are selfish people. Because, come on, we all know right? We've seen the meme, "Born on an even day, behaves in a selfish way". So you go out and you find out that your new friend was born on the 6th of October and you think, "Oh, an even huh?"…
/r/ExRedPill05/06/23 02:45 AM
11

I'm married, and I've been with the same partner for a decade and a half. So I'm describing the very long-term here. It's like living with your best friend who also wants to have sex with you, for me at least. He's my favorite person to talk to, the person I most enjoy being with, and that makes it a joy. He's also the person who knows me best and can call me out on my bullshit, so there's that too. Work is both halved and doubled. There's two people, so twice as many hands to worry about whatev…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/23 07:12 PM
5

Did you mean to ask what it's like?
/r/ExRedPill22/05/23 07:00 PM
15

So, I think we have to talk about emotional gratification loops. We've all got them. Most of them aren't harmful. If you treat yourself to an expensive coffee drink when you do a big grocery run to take the edge off the pain in the ass that is shopping, that's no big deal. But you become accustomed to it over time, and you learn that when you feel [x] feeling you're going to do [y] soothing behavior. When you have to do a big shopping run, you're going to get a nice coffee. Right now, I'm guessi…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/23 12:54 AM
8

Actually, the funny thing is that they aren't students of history at all. They know fuck all about what life was like for women in that time period, they are just imagining how they'd like it to be and pretending it would have been great. They have never bothered actually doing any research into how sex and love and marriage and feminine power worked in their imagined prelapsarian societies, which I know because I am a huge fan of American history, particularly the history of how views on sex an…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/23 01:28 PM
2

I have never done OLD, but I've also been with the same person for 15 years so it wasn't a thing when I was dating the way it is now. That being said, if I woke up tomorrow in a weird, parallel universe that was the same as this one except for the fact that I was single because me and my husband never met in this timeline, I still wouldn't do it. It's also worth noting that I've got 11 years of listening to other people talk about their online dating experiences, and I've gone from a fan and a b…
/r/ExRedPill09/05/23 12:17 PM
5

And yet, nobody would tell those people, "work on yourself", because they've passed the test of normalcy. This is a real "What the fuck are you talking about?" statement to me. You think this isn't a common saying? I've volunteered for a decade in a relationship advice sub, and this is 80% of the advice. 20%, of course, being "Leave and don't look back" but that's also valid sometimes. More to the point, I'll put my money where my mouth is on this one. I'm in a 15-year-long relationship. We work…
/r/ExRedPill19/04/23 12:10 PM
1

Nah, I think I am going to do something more productive with my time.
/r/ExRedPill14/04/23 10:17 PM
1

Yeah, but you didn't actually cite any facts. You cited Kay S. Hymowitz. She's certainly got a point of view! She wrote books like, "Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys" so, yeah, she definitely believes in hypergamy. And hates feminism. Shocker. And she's a fellow at the Manhattan Institute whose stunning intellectual contributions are "Why sex is binary" "Why defunding the police didn't work in NYC in the 1970's" and "How to reform social security". So, she's embedded in…
/r/ExRedPill14/04/23 10:06 PM
1

Right, I don't actually disagree with most of this. But where's hypergamy? I could take issue with this: Therefore due to basic math, some women will have no choice but to marry an uneducated man. Because there's another very obvious choice which is "Be single and happy forever". But I think that's nitpicking. But you're making an extraordinary claim. You're making a claim that there's some innate biological force in half the population that doesn't exist in the other half for...reasons. It's no…
/r/ExRedPill14/04/23 12:34 PM
1

Tell me how to measure this. I didn't cite any sources in my comment, so I am certainly not giving you a hard time for not doing so. But since we can't peek inside the minds of everyone and ask "What do you care about, what do you desire" we're going to have to rely on what people actually do, right? To me, 'resourceful, competent, and intelligent' would bespeak education and employment. And yet, the percentage of women who are either primary or sole breadwinners in the family only goes up. It's…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/23 11:57 AM
54

There are two ways to answer this question. If you mean, "Do humans want to feel secure that they've made a good mate choice and generally dislike feeling they could do a lot better in partner selection"....obviously yes. No one is who honestly feels that they are with someone who isn't meeting their needs or really believes that there are people out there who would meet their needs better is going to stay in a relationship. That's, like, common sense right? Dan Savage famously says there is no …
/r/ExRedPill11/04/23 11:22 PM
16

I am going to tell it to you straight. That hole you're trying to fill with other people's love, affection, sexual desire, and approval? It doesn't take that currency. You feel this lack inside yourself and you're thinking, "Well, if women want me and I prove myself, then I won't feel like a loser". But the problem isn't other people thinking you're a loser. The problem is that you think you're a loser. You are your own bully. You're the problem. This isn't hypergamy, you're not "dating up" at e…
/r/ExRedPill09/04/23 12:07 PM
26

If you're going out with my friends? Competitive talking. By that I mean the kind of conversation where there's no breaks, no lulls, just everyone trying to get a word in edgewise. Sometimes there is food and drink involved. If there are at least four people, we're definitely playing cards. Sometimes we go and see a show or attend an event. But everyone's really there for the competitive talking. I honestly don't really know what kind of "bad" thing we could even do. We're all with our favorite …
/r/ExRedPill08/04/23 03:53 AM
5

Red flags! So many, many red flags. Cool that he has a great job. But he's saved enough to not work for 40-50 years, to support a spouse, and to save for the college education of 4-5 children? Because, no, he hasn't. Where's the health insurance coming from for these four to five pregnancies? For four-to-five kids worth of ear infections and strep throat and whatever else? I do. not. believe. him. That's an absurd amount of money over an incredibly variable time period. I find this to be a ridic…
/r/ExRedPill31/03/23 04:45 PM
8

I have some criticisms of this. Not even the advice, necessarily. But if you read the bottom you get to a link that sends you to a 'click funnel'. No idea what that is. I am just skeptical in general of medium posts, because this is whatever any bozo wanted to write, and it's persuasive. I agree loneliness is endemic and that people are kind of selfishly looking to fill their own bucket as opposed to listening and being there for others. Blah blah blah. But this is kind of fear-driven and doom a…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/23 01:42 PM
11

Did you know color words are different in different languages? For example, a lot of languages consider light and dark blue to be different colors. They aren't both blue, they are distinct colors, the way we believe pink and red to be their own colors. Someone once said, and I wish I could remember who, that if society is the building we might think about language as the blue print. We think, our thoughts are constrained, by the terms we're given. One of the ways high control groups function is …
/r/ExRedPill20/03/23 05:15 PM
35

So, this framing of the question kind of sucks. By asking it this way, you've made it a binary. You are oppressed or you are not. That's not really how it works. When you want to talk about toxic ideologies and systemic injustice, you almost have to think about it like soup. If you are born in the US, you are born into a soup of ideologies that existed before you were born, that will probably exist after you are dead, and they are infused in you and everything and everyone else. Homophobia, tran…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/23 01:28 PM
27

I don't think he actually thought those things about you, specifically. I might be the case that he assumes these things are true about all women (kind of an AWALT thing). But my better guess is that he was negging you. If he says, "Who's your side dude?" then he expected you to jump up and down disproving that you had one and protesting about how single and alone you were. That would have given him, in his mind, an 'in' to get you to date him. It's very much the same with saying you treat men l…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/23 06:55 PM
6

Why is it creepy to learn from the internet as opposed, to say, the way I learned which was watching people do it live and in living color? Why is having someone explain it creepier than witnessing it or learning from a library book or a youtube video or, I don't know, tv? Any skill you want to gain has to be learned, and there are only so many methods of learning. If you're lucky, you grew up in a social environment where you had a lot of examples of people interacting in the whole range of hum…
/r/ExRedPill05/03/23 09:48 PM
1

I am not talking about any particular post or any specific context. If that exists, I didn't read it. I don't really understand the assumption it's to try to dictate how woman should respond. I just felt me personally advocating for non combatative approaches would of been nice for him. One, I probably should have said 'users' not women, because I don't know the gender of a lot of users there. Some I do, some I don't. So that's my bad. Second, if you're telling people "I think it would be great …
/r/ExRedPill04/03/23 11:02 PM
1

So I comment there a lot. I think I have a track record of being pretty kind to incels. I approach their issues with a lot of empathy and understanding and I try to help. That being said...I would take some issue with anyone lecturing women on what kind of behavior they owe people who identify as incels. And I think arguing for tolerance over misogyny is probably the wrong approach, generally speaking. A lot of the people coming in hot as new users say some pretty misogynistic things, and people…
/r/ExRedPill04/03/23 10:40 PM
2

Well, my first question reading that was how, as in "How would you even do that?". But let's ignore that and go with a better question of 'why'. The lowest divorce rates for any group are educated people on their first marriage who get married later in life (late twenties, early thirties). The reasons are pretty obvious. People are worldly, they've dated and considered what they want in a partner, they have careers or the opportunity to have careers, they are making a choice from a place of self…
/r/ExRedPill02/03/23 04:13 AM
4

When I was 22, I dated a guy that wore a leather jacket, took me out to 2$ rum and coke night at the bar, bought me greasy burgers at 1 AM from the all-nite diner, and missed spending the first night together in our new apartment to go to a Nine Inch Nails concert. I'm 35 now and I am married to someone who goes to bed at 10 o'clock religiously, spends his free time chasing a toddler around parks, libraries, and the children's museum, who drives a sensible sedan, and who turns the music down on …
/r/ExRedPill02/03/23 02:09 AM
8

The red pill does two interesting things in this sphere, I think. First, it almost always targets young men. So by definition, it's going to focus on the insecurities of younger people, and a main insecurity of young people everywhere is that they missed some important boat. That boat can be in love and dating, it can be your career, it can be financial, it can be a sense of autonomy and accomplishment. No matter how you're successful or what you're doing, there's a perpetual sense in your teens…
/r/ExRedPill26/02/23 01:30 PM
16

So, I think we need to throw the evolutionary psych out the window. That's some bullshit. And I'm saying that because I think there's a different way of thinking about how much of a "problem" this is, and it comes down to socialization. Women who have internalized the desire for toxic masculinity under the patriarchal bargain are going to be far more likely to react badly. What does that mean? It means women who are brought up with strict ideas about gender roles, strict images of what's manly a…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/23 06:52 PM
5

We need to define terms. Kind people are kind because that's a personality trait. They receive pleasure for themselves simply by existing in a state of kindness towards other people, provided that people haven't given them a reason not to be kind. It's their natural set-point to be pleasant, generous, and helpful. Nice people, as we're using the term for this example, are nice because they expect to get something in return. They expect that if they aren't a dick to people, people owe them someth…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/23 04:48 PM
10

When a man tries to tell me some bullshit like this, I find they are just telling on themselves. Because, yes, there are people out there who aren't very loyal, who are pretty opportunistic, and who are just using people to get laid and they'll bounce as soon as the next opportunity presents itself. They come in both male and female (and non-binary) flavors. And some of them are waving around big red flags that look like making blanket statements about what "all men (or whichever gender)" are li…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/23 02:00 PM
6

So, if you believe the redpill--and you shouldn't--the blackpill is kind of the logical continuation of the thought. I use the word 'logical' there verrrry loosely. The redpill posits that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men, that they will be sexually attracted to some men because of their alpha qualities but will accept low-quality mates for security after a point in their lives, and that all women are like this because it's biologically entrenched. There are evolutionary drives in women …
/r/ExRedPill11/02/23 01:46 PM
25

So, this might be a controversial statement, but I am going to throw it out there. I've been giving relationship advice for ten years. I've been reading the relationship advice everyone else gives (pilled or not) for ten years. There's very little to be said on this subject in the past decade on reddit, at least, that I haven't read. As far as I can tell, as best as I can decipher, the really good advice that might actually help you is pretty much the same whether it comes from men or women or w…
/r/ExRedPill10/02/23 01:39 PM
7

Eh, I'm kind of glad about it. If there aren't safe and sane places to work through the process of getting out, fewer people will get out. I can find 1001 places to talk to the already on my page. And I don't bother talking to people still devout in their convictions because what's the point in that? There are very few spaces where people can actually unwork the mental knots they've found themselves in, so it being messy is very much the point to my mind.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/23 06:25 PM
15

Well, I'd hazard a guess from reading some of the comments in this sub that: Not everyone here is interested in leaving the red pill Not everyone interested in leaving has completely committed to the idea Not everyone committed to the idea has completely worked through their issues yet, and thus are still hanging on to idols and ideologies that they may ultimately reject but are still important to them now. So, to that I say, patience and grace with the downvotes. If they are downvoting you, at …
/r/ExRedPill05/02/23 06:16 PM
5

It's not as easy to delete things when these programmers intentionally make them addictive. And this statement is just...sad. Yes, things are intentionally addicting. No doubt about it, please see my Candy Crush level for further details. But we are talking about grown-ass adults with full freedom and autonomy to design their own lives, so saying "It's hard" isn't an excuse. And no one is making you do it! The beauty of being an adult is that you're the person who gets to decide what enriches or…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/23 07:30 PM
10

So, human beings haven't changed. We don't change very much. Technology has changed. Social media is kind of a weird temple to both narcissism and capitalism. Some people are just there for the attention and validation, and some people are there for the money, and some people are there for both. If your viewfinder for the world attracts people interested in existing for you under those terms, don't be surprised when they emulate the values that particular lens celebrates. If you're going to a pl…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/23 01:42 PM
25

Well, I am no longer in my early twenties or even close to it. But I was once, and that's when I did most of my dating before I met and later married my husband. I never dumped someone for being red pill because that wasn't a thing then, but I also probably wouldn't have ever gotten close enough to someone to consider dating them if they held beliefs like it or close to it. Everyone I've ever dated or seriously considered was actively and specifically feminist. No exceptions. It's not because of…
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 08:34 PM
2

Thanks for answering.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 06:50 PM
6

Okay, so there are two ways to answer this question that I can think of. First, there's no such thing (for me, because that's the only experience I can speak to) as someone who is hot who isn't also a friend. That doesn't exist. It's a squares and rectanges problem. All people who are hot pass the minimum friend requirements, but not all people who pass those requirements are hot. But there doesn't exist a person who I think is both hot and a douchebag. You could be a carved marble adonis, but t…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 06:03 PM
5

Can I ask a follow-up question? Do you aspire to relationships? I can understand, ala fictional characters, having some people you want to fuck and then having friends, and those two groups never coming together. I can think of media characters who exemplify this. But the common thread there is that none of them want relationships, because if relationships aren't 'friend' + 'fucking', I don't know what they are. Maybe I am doing it wrong, but that's how I understand it. I am not asking this to g…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 02:39 PM
26

This is a complicated question. I'm also married, so I've done most of this work a long time ago. I guess we have to start with the fact that I am heterosexual, and therefore only really attracted to men. But I have the female gaze, not the male gaze, so my list begins at more of a personality-centric place, a value-centric place, and the body is more of an accessory. Intelligence, wit, humor, politics (this is huge, centrist or further right need not apply), emotional intelligence and regulatio…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 02:16 PM
1

Eh, that's not a wrong answer, just not my personal schematic. There are a lot of models for good emotional regulation, and while that's not the one I'd personally choose, I don't think it's a bad one.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/23 08:03 PM
4

A lot of people gave some good advice that I would have covered, but I am going to throw in two dark horse options. Become a rockstar at emotional regulation. This is a long process, you can't do it overnight, and it is something you have to work on here and there. But the greatest unsung adult superpower is being able to feel your feelings, process them, and not let them control your behavior. No matter how great or successful your life is, there will be everyday things that make you tired, ang…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/23 01:48 PM
1

I am going to take a stab at this: The red pill, very broadly, usually references someone becoming "woke" to a knowledge set that was previously unknown or deliberately obscured to them. Qanon often uses this terminology to describe people learning about pizza gate, adrenochrome, and the cabals. But when you're talking about this context--dating--it is attempting to describe biological essentialism. What is biological essentialism? Well, it says that our dating habits and patterns are determined…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 04:40 PM
17

It's kind of a null question. Someone's dating history feels a lot like a biographical fact of little relevance to me. It's like not enjoying the flavor of bananas or winning the eight-grade spelling bee. It's a fact about you, but unless it's impacting your life in other ways, it's pretty irrelevant. That being said, the stipulation that I am close enough to dating someone, emotionally invested enough that I am being told this information, kind of ties my hands. In the event I was gung-ho about…
/r/ExRedPill03/01/23 01:50 PM
4

I think that's absolutely the smart advice. The one caveat to that is if keeping that lifeline open is directly harming you. I think it is different if you can't protect your money, your kids, your sanity, or your lived daily experience if you stick around.
/r/ExRedPill31/12/22 01:09 PM
8

You can help someone who wants to be helped. But you can't make someone want to be helped. The central pitch to anything calling itself a "pill theory" is that its already coming in with the marketing pitch of The Shocking Truth the Normies Don't Want You To Know. It's therefore not surprising when people in your life think what you're spouting is hot garbage, and not surprising further when people try to talk you out of it. The rhetoric that got you sucked in has already prepared and inoculated…
/r/ExRedPill30/12/22 08:03 PM
32

Yeah, I think you're still in the red pill ideology more than you think. You're not saying this part specifically, but there's an argument underlying these beliefs. Women are a monolith, they want specific things (height, personality, wealth) because women are on a resource-collecting mission, not individual people who fall in love based on their own personal alchemy. I've listened to people online tell me the standards (that they largely made up) and when I examine myself, I find myself wanting…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/22 02:27 PM
11

So, someone already mentioned Contrapoints. So I'm going to suggest: Innuendo studios, specifically the alt-right playbook and Why are you so angry? which is about gamer gate. HBomberGuy. His channel tends to be lot of great critiques of gaming (Bloodborne and Dark Souls 2 are particularly wonderful) and political commentary? I love his video on vaccines and soy boys Big Joel. Again, a channel that wears a lot of hats and does a bunch of film analysis, but has some really great videos, and possi…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/22 01:28 PM
12

Dating apps are a billion-dollar industry. And while there are some outliers, the vast majority are owned by a company called Matchgroup. Part of what they are doing with all that profit is starting a marketing campaign basically designed to make you think the thing you're thinking. Everyone is using dating apps, dating apps are the future, that's how everyone is meeting now. But data says that's bullshit. Only roughly 19% of people are using a dating app, that's actually down from a previous 27…
/r/ExRedPill08/12/22 02:27 PM
30

Bad news. No one is going to stop you from falling into the red pill but you. You can't reason someone out of an idea they didn't reason themselves into, and the red pill isn't logical. It's emotional. You feel lied to and betrayed and sad and frustrated and it's coming in with a soothing balm to say, "There there, here are some answers". But I don't care what the subject matter might be, anyone trying to take a really complex concept like why any two people fall in love or how to manage your mo…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 04:38 AM
21

What do you mean by 'work through it'? I think it is pretty reasonable to expect to have conversations about your past and to even explore difficult and traumatic experiences with your partner. I don't think it is reasonable to expect them to help you emotionally process those experiences or deal with the pain they've caused. One of those is the job we perform casually for friends and loved ones, and the other is something you usually need formal training and a professional degree to do well. Yo…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/22 01:59 AM
8

Hard agree.
/r/ExRedPill26/11/22 07:52 PM
46

I agree completely. They have the exact right idea, but the wrong rationale. I will only date men who are willing to walk away, because I am also willing to walk away. I know the value I'm bringing to the table, and I expect a partner who is bringing value to the table as well. We're going to be together because we want to be, because we care about each other, we respect what we're capable of doing for and with each other. The redpill warps that into mind games and emotional manipulation, where …
/r/ExRedPill26/11/22 04:24 PM
27

You can't change his mind. He can change his mind! I hope he does. But you can't do a single thing. What's more, you've created an incentive for him to mislead you by claiming he's changed his mind when he hasn't. There's a lot of ideological fuckery there for him to untangle, and doing so will be long process. And he has to start it because he wants to, because that way of thinking isn't serving him and it is hurting him. He can't do it because he doesn't want to lose his girlfriend. That doesn…
/r/ExRedPill19/11/22 08:48 PM
12

So, I wrote a different comment about this that got some attention in the past, but I'm going to take a slightly different direction here. One of the reasons I think it's so hard to drill down into what Jordan Peterson is ACTUALLY arguing, to get a really good hold of his ideas, is that he seems (to me, at least) to be preaching about radical social apathy. Personal responsibility, sure! But social apathy. Simultaneously, he's pretty invested in a natural order to the world. By that I mean he's …
/r/ExRedPill19/11/22 02:36 AM
20

I feel like you've not really done a lot of research on this with actual numbers. This feels like it's just your gut talking. But the research actually contradicts a lot of this. Just at face value, the argument you're making doesn't make sense. Like, let's just poke holes at the math level of this. Right off the bat we know that men outnumber women on dating apps by different degrees in different regions, but I'll suffice to say "by a lot". You have a numbers game problem. That doesn't back up …
/r/ExRedPill04/11/22 01:58 AM
2

Not debating the truth of the matter here, but I think 'raised' is the operative word. I have/had two very emotionally mature parents, very much oddities in their own boomer generation. I'd cite their strong parenting choices over my gender if I had to place a bet. It would have been different if I was a boy, but I highly doubt it would have been worse.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/22 01:27 AM
10

I'm a married woman in her mid-thirties.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/22 05:19 PM
28

The point of being vulnerable to someone really has very little to do with them, their trustworthiness, or how well they treat you. We are vulnerable with each other selfishly. I let people in, I share myself with them, not because I can 100% trust each and every person to behave appropriately and respectfully. I do it because it's literally the only way to form deep and intimate relationships with other people, which is a thing I want. I want intimacy, the path to intimacy is vulnerability, and…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/22 04:44 PM
1

Well, Tim Minchin wrote a song called "If I Didn't Have You" which basically answers this question. Your premise here rests on a flawed assumption, which is to experience the maximum possible desire for someone, total and complete love, unerring devotion and complete and total harmony you, what, have to find the most physically attractive person? Anything short of that is a lie or delusional? How could you tell? If you're filled with lust and desire and a sense of profound oneness with someone t…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 04:05 AM
8

So, here we go. "Red Pill is wrong. They reduce an incredibly complex and intricate human compulsion we don't fully understand past the fact that it's wildly specific and unique to each person down to big, gym muscles and that's clearly wrong". Also: "In other news, I've reduced human attractiveness, an intricate and complex human compulsion that isn't understood to height and facial features, so you know I know what I'm talking about". Like, friend, you're so close here, and then at the last se…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 06:30 PM
2

It's all relative. For people in the 13th Century, the internet would be something beyond comprehension, a divine blessing and more precious than you or I can relate to. Antibiotics were a fucking miracle. Birth control. Motor vehicles. The printing press. Until the power goes out or the wifi goes down, you forget how much you depend on electricity and the internet to just even exist in your space. I don't think it is platitude. I think I take indoor plumbing and two-day shipping for granted bas…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 07:34 PM
21

I've always thought it was about pain. There's a core reality to love that there is no way to have all the good and wonderful things without taking on the accompanying pain. Everyone leaves. Everyone gets left. Every boyfriend or girlfriend is going to break up with you someday and move on with someone else and be happy with them. Every friendship is going to end. Every relative you love is someday going to die. There is no having without loss. There is no trying without rejection. Most people a…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 03:43 PM
29

Sure. Just to recap: First wave feminism focused on the right to vote Second wave feminism is women's liberation out of the 1960's, and was focused on more liberal rights like the fact that women couldn't open a credit card until the 1970's. Feminists generally argue about whether the third wave of feminism can really be called a 'wave' the way the first two are named because it is pretty ideologically inconsistent. WITHIN a third wave of feminism (which I'll talk about as a wave, it is just wor…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/22 12:28 PM
6

I mean, you can look it up. There is data on this and people have looked into the gender gap. This source says 20% of men and 13% women. This would suggest 23% men vs. 12% women. But we can put some pressure on this data because there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. The data collected here is self-reported. You might have to ask whether there's a bias for men to be willing to self-report infidelity more than women. If women are unwilling to admit participating, their numbers might be arti…
/r/ExRedPill26/04/22 12:32 PM
5

I sometimes like using FDS to give a comparison to the red pill, because I find people are too close to red pill beliefs to be critical of them, but they don't have that problem with FDS. When people in FDS say, "If he isn't paying for dinner, he's not that into you, he's just playing you, bail immediately", what they are really talking about is a standardized judgment. It's what people feel they need when they stop trusting their own judgment because they had bad experiences or they've been tol…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/22 12:59 PM
2

which also correlated to how virgin adults who feel virginity is the source of their problems become depressed after losing it. Exactly.
/r/ExRedPill16/04/22 04:46 PM
4

I think you're wrong, but you're close. But first, you should look into the current historical debate going on about vibrators because the argument that they were used for the treatment of hysteria is probably antiquated and possibly made up. I believed that for a long time too and just recently learned about it, so this isn't something that's common knowledge but I thought you might find it interesting. It would seem that the need to be euphemistic in advertisements gives a false impression tha…
/r/ExRedPill16/04/22 01:18 PM
104

Get out from behind the ideology; let's talk about the real fear. Is it possible that you could love someone very much who leaves you for someone else? Sure. It happens every day. It's not a woman thing or a man thing, but a human thing. Humans fall out of love when they are in relationships and sometimes they fall in love while they are in relationships and it sucks so hard and hurts so bad it's not an irrational thing to fear. What is irrational is reading a bunch of psuedoscience and using a …
/r/ExRedPill10/04/22 02:57 AM
1

Hey, this is a tangent but I think you'll find it interesting. stop glorifying movies like “50 shades of grey” that encourage power, control and violence over women. Yes, I’m aware that most women like that series, but it’s not hard to see the Stockholm syndrome many women have, enjoying being treated like an object and controlled. That's not the fantasy of 50 Shades. And I don't say that because I am a fan, I've never read it or seen the movies, and I never will because there's much better erot…
/r/ExRedPill06/04/22 02:17 PM
13

Two big myths come to mind that we could undermine, but I am sure there are others. The first is the myth that men are in possession of an uncontrolled libido which means they can (and should) want to have sex with anyone and anything. This underscores a lot of sexual assault in the US against men, they can't be raped because all men want sex with everyone all the time, etc. So that's one. I think another is tying the amount of sex you're having to how much of a man you are. This makes the quest…
/r/ExRedPill05/04/22 03:35 PM
29

I think the premise is sound, but the wording is trash. What I prefer is this: "Nothing external will heal a wound that comes from something inside of you". If what's making you unhappy is that you feel invalid, unloveable, unattractive, lost, and unworthy, someone else isn't going to heal that. It can feel like, "Well, if just one person loved me, I'd feel okay" and the quest can look a lot like a quest to find that one person who is going to put you right. But they never will. Those feelings a…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/22 08:27 PM
13

I feel, anecdotally and with no evidence, like I've heard more stories and had more experience of men feeling bad about coming stag to weddings, of feeling like they are out of synch with others. But I think the better argument is that if you're really struggling romantically to find someone to connect with or you're having a rough time after a breakup, going to a wedding can be painful for anyone. Watching other people have what you want is, in the most generic sense, painful. By the same token…
/r/ExRedPill29/03/22 07:03 PM
55

A lot of pain being masked with agression.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/22 11:53 AM
8

Well, my follow-up question is this: do you struggle with boundaries? Because the thought that pops into my head, if I were in the situation with the person who started telling me I had Golden Retriever Energy compared to this other person, is to tell her she's being pretty rude. You don't want to be compared to people, that's not a communication style you prefer, and what's more, she's not being very kind. Do you struggle to say, "Listen, comparing me to a dog isn't cute or funny, I'm going to …
/r/ExRedPill30/01/22 01:31 PM
1

Here's a gut check: are you giving off intimacy without it being sexual intimacy? I am empathetic, supportive, kind, compassionate. I am a good listener and I am often sought out for advice or a listening ear. But that's a very platonic vibe for me. That's energy I am giving to people in my life who are not romantic contenders and for whom I have no interest. For me, that's saying, "I can ofter you emotional/spiritual intimacy, we can be close in this way because I like you as a friend" and that…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 02:57 AM
1

The pathetic thing about simping, which is kind of an imaginary word no one should use, but whatever, is when you expect something in return. Give a friend flowers just because you thought it would brighten their day? You're a kind person. Give a girl flowers because you want her to like you so that when she dumps her boyfriend she thinks of you? That's simping. And the metric between those two is very clear to me, at least. Ask yourself: am I showing myself respect in doing this? I am showing m…
/r/ExRedPill04/12/21 09:37 PM
5

The thing about a fear of betrayal is that you're almost certainly going to be betrayed from time to time in minor ways at the very least. It might not be cheating necessarily, though that's certainly a popular format. But people will lie and keep secrets. You will trust people who will abuse or break that trust. It is a part of life. I wish I could tell you how to avoid it, but you can't really. It is a thing that can always happen and often does. But, you may ask yourself, if that's the case, …
/r/ExRedPill19/11/21 03:30 AM
12

I think your heart is in the right place, but that your plan of attack is fundamentally flawed. This isn't a logical argument. You can't show him some study or make some fine point that's going to show him the flaw in his logic, thus getting him to think differently. This tower wasn't built on logic, so it won't crumble if you point out how the foundation is disintegrating. This serves a deeply personal and emotional need for him, and I can predict what will happen if you like. You'll have conve…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/21 08:37 PM
11

Charismatic /=/ likeable. Are you an outgoing, people-focused extrovert? If not, I probably can't tell you anything about how to become charismatic because you have to innately trend towards a specific set of tendencies to play in that sphere. But there's nothing to say you can't be likeable and attractive. Being dull and boring isn't the opposite of being charismatic. Being boring is an active and specific process of stonewalling and thwarting attempts to make human connections. It's the act of…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/21 01:31 PM
2

I think of physical beauty as art. I really like Warhol paintings, but I have no real desire to have sex because of it. A truly beautiful man is like spotting a hummingbird or an ice cream truck; "Wow, you exist in nature, that's neat!". But it feels really distant and disconnected from my sex drive. But I am really into people. The constellations of qualities that make someone who they are. Their tone of voice, the way they smell, the 20 minute monologue that gave me about why hot dogs are sand…
/r/ExRedPill18/10/21 09:47 PM
4

I'd take it in a different direction. I am not the prize. My husband is not the prize. The life we built together IS the prize. We aren't perfect people, we're not exceptional, but we've built an exceptional relationship, a strong and supportive marriage, a warm and comfortable home, and a tiny loving family. That's the prize. What we maintain together between us through our effort and commitment is something bigger than either of us. It is only possible if we're both in it to win it every day, …
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 02:11 PM
1

I am not talking about reasons people cheat. I am talking about how they write about it when they talk about cheating online. Beginning every tweet with "there was this guy" just doesn't feel believable, because people write about themselves way more than they write about other people. But you're right, people can and do cheat! I have no doubts as to that. But you have to protect yourself, as someone who has had a painful experience, from being the victim of outrage porn. People get attention, e…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 11:37 AM
21

I read people's fake, creative-writing relationship posts all the time. That bullshit is not real. How can I tell you ask? Well, there are a bunch of hallmarks, different in some tweets but I think a bunch of tweets have the same author so they sound samey in a lot of places. But a few things to look out for: Women tend to talk explicitly about sex in an emotional way, not a physical one. He made me feel beautiful, he made me feel wanted, I never felt as special and free in bed except with him, …
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 01:59 AM
1

My apologies, I explained my viewpoint rather poorly I don't think you explained it poorly. I am just saying that it's unfortunate to miss the complexity of people and how they come together. People aren't these monolithic blocks of single traits or straightforward motivations. Women don't want a certain thing any more than Geminis want a specific thing, or Subaru owners, or people who religiously observe Taco Tuesday. Unless of course that thing is wanting tacos on Tuesdays, which is something …
/r/ExRedPill19/07/21 04:49 PM
2

See, I don't get your thinking. Why is it being settled for? Are you the same person you were two years ago? Eight years ago? Does the fact that you might not have gotten along with someone when you were 13 mean you can't be dumbstruck with love at 25? What you posit here is that you must be equally attractive to someone at every age, at every point in your life, otherwise it is inferior. It doesn't count. I am not even a fan of myself at every age/stage of my life, why would I need a romantic p…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/21 04:11 PM
5

Aren't you just describing time, though? women in their 20s tend to fuck hot men who don't offer good qualities for a long term relationship Women in their twenties tend to date other men in their twenties. People in their twenties lack good qualities for long-term relationships. They are, however, usually hot. When I was in my twenties, I dated the guy in a leather jacket who took me out to bars to all-you-can-drink Rum and Coke night and stayed out until the bars closed. Now I am in my thirtie…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/21 03:35 PM
23

There's a concept called the patriarchal bargain. Bluepill men are letting women get out of control? That's a bold statement. And it implies a worldview that men are responsible for controlling women. If you aren't willing to challenge that idea, then you've bought into a worldview where that's how things ought to be, and if that's the case, you want to secure your place in that system. Doing that means making yourself an ally to the patriarchy. You believe that by supporting that system and mar…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/21 04:43 PM
16

There's nothing wrong with having a boundary against the silent treatment in a relationship and refusing to engage with someone who uses it. It is important to draw a line between someone who is able to communicate a need for space vs. someone giving you the treatment. There's a big difference between declaring a boundary that you're not ready to talk about something or you need time to cool down before you discuss. I think denying someone that is manipulative in and of itself. But just being po…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/21 12:22 AM
2

So, you're approaching an interesting problem here about whether we embrace taxonomy because of the political power it lends to organizing, or whether we truly embrace postmodernism and say all these distinctions are meaningless. And I, frankly, don't have a right answer. Consider that it is one thing to argue philosophically that gender is a construct, that biological sex is more of a continuum than a binary state, that when we come to brass tacks things that make us women and men turn out to b…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 05:16 PM
4

It's just language games. I still reference men as being nice in a sincere way, but I don't use that word because that word is empty. What does it even mean? I'd say someone was a kind man, a polite man, friendly, pleasant, easy-going, decent. There are plenty of ways to say someone is warm, kind, and nice to be around so I don't really need the vacuous word of "nice" to do it. The only time I describe someone as nice is when I mean it 1) as an insult ala /r/niceguys or 2) as a space to fill a l…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 07:51 PM
4

I am so familiar with all those dudes. Not your dudes, obviously, but yes, I've met those archetypes over and over and over again.
/r/ExRedPill24/12/20 02:47 PM
0

No. I mean, inasmuch as they are all part of the alt-right gender party spectrum, there's some overlap. But the fundamental deviation between incels and redpill/PUA communities is whether or not they think it is hopeless to change their circumstances. Red Pill and PUA believe you can game the system, blackpill incels think that for all but the elect there's nothing but doom and lonliness. Even if you manage to get laid, you're basically a beta chump. Do I think PUA/Red Pill people are often lyin…
/r/ExRedPill29/10/20 03:06 PM
17

No one needs to have the "right" to feel anything. Feelings are unconscious and uncontrollable. If you're angry, you're angry and there's no one who can or should tell you that you should feel differently. So, I guess I'd say that a lot of ugly men ARE angry. That's true enough. We've got the numbers to prove that out. And there's nothing wrong with feeling angry. Anger has no inherent value. It's a feeling. What you do in response to anger, however, matters a ton. I think there's a huge gap bet…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/20 10:16 PM
1

I see. I ask because I was trying to be mindful of that when I wrote my post because I didn't want to simply reduce it down to "if someone says they love you, believe them". That, for obvious reasons, leads to a ton of heartbreak. That's why I was trying to pair words and behaviors together in the clause because being told isn't enough, you have to be shown through action and consistency.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/20 01:46 PM
1

Do you mean this as a critique or an addendum?
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:39 PM
26

You are never going to get the reassurance of the subjective experience of others. I'm married and I've been with my partner for a decade. Is he with me because I make incredible lasagna? Because he loves me in a cosmic, unchangeable way? Because he wants me in a lustful way? Because I was convenient? Well, yes. All of that, at times, and probably more reasons. I honestly have no idea most of the time. A decade-long thing doesn't last on lust alone. So it's a bit of everything, I'm guessing, but…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 02:44 PM
3

This dude! I'm a grown-ass adult human man with my own life. Also, let me tell you all about people still young enough to be living at home, people with less than two years on-the-ground life experience, people who haven't had to pay a bill, rent an apartment on their own, support themselves, or even really leave the nest yet. It turns out, teenagers aren't mature yet! They are dramatic, interested in sex, and self-interested. They don't have healthy relationship boundaries. You know...because t…
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 02:41 PM
3

The preceding part of the video addresses how and why that isolation happens.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/20 04:11 AM
10

I take it to mean something else entirely. I see the argument saying that, due to isolation, the only exposure to left media is through right/alt-right takedowns. In other words, you don't actually read anything or watch anything presented by a feminist, at least not knowingly, but you do read send-ups and take-downs created by right/alt-right figures about feminism. You're not disagreeing with the ideas themselves, but rather agreeing with the mockery of the ideas instead. It gives the illusion…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/20 03:51 AM
6

I buy this. I'd argue, however, that the author have cast feminism as the parallel for the capitalist enemy and have neglected masculinity in this model as well. I think it would be more accurate to argue that 'biological essentialism' is the capitalist enemy (and hero, weirdly enough). When they talk about the negative economic outcomes, they are failing to note that all of those forces are emasculating as well. How does one feel like a "man" in the face of economic crises, alienation, exploita…
/r/ExRedPill28/03/20 01:53 PM
6

Why would a hookup (I am guessing, as opposed to a romantic relationship?) change the number of sex partners? If sex were being given to only the most beautiful guys, you'd still see those in the numbers, right? "Can" hookup and "Do" or "Will" hookup are different. Like, I'll totally buy that for the small percentage of women looking for entaglement-free sex on Tinder, they are able to have their pick of the most beautiful men. I'd say that's axiomatically true. But that doesn't really say anyth…
/r/ExRedPill26/03/20 03:51 AM
5

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I do have a sincere question. How would that work statistically? What that would mean, if I am to understand you, is that a few men would have huge numbers of sex partners whereas women would only be choosing among a select percentage of men. 20% of the guys, let's say, get 80% of the women. But we know, roughly, that isn't true. The average for women and men is just over seven partners. I mean, the numbers deviate a little for women and men. Some of that …
/r/ExRedPill26/03/20 03:38 AM
10

You know, it is funny because for an unrelated reason I went back today to look at a study called A Billion Wicked Thoughts. These two PhDs out of Boston combed through everyone's porn habits. The data would suggest this is bullshit. The data suggests that men are turned on by visual cues. Like, this isn't ground-breaking shit here, but men want to look at tits, they want to look at someone's ass, they want to look at feet, and they want to look at penises. Not because they necessarily want to e…
/r/ExRedPill26/03/20 03:19 AM
1

It's all the same original sin. Once you peel back the curtain, you'll see there's one wizard, one central bad idea, guiding allllll of these communities. Here it is: 'men' or 'women' are any one way. That's all it is. That's the whole thing that's wrong. Chads and normies, incels and volcels, HVM and LVM, pickmeshias and thots, alpha and beta, Stacy and Becky....it's all the same bullshit of reducing complicated, individual people with their own individual issues down to rough caricatures. Ther…
/r/ExRedPill14/03/20 01:13 PM
12

You unlocked a secret cheat code! There's no end to the red pill. There's no happy ending. Even in their own telling of things, you never get to stop and enjoy success. There's no scenario where you meet someone great, someone who feels like a partner, someone who lights you on fire, and retire into bliss. It's mind game after mind game after mind game. You never get to stop pretending to be some caricature of a human and just be yourself with someone. Vulnerability is at the center of everythin…
/r/ExRedPill12/03/20 04:17 AM
24

It's called moving the goalpost. They make claims that they can't support, and claim that it is anecdotal evidence that everyone would get if they just looked around. But if you tell them an anecdote about your life experience that contradicts that, they'll tell you that's not valid and there's no proof. They'll also take that experience and view it through the red pill lens to tell you that you didn't see/hear/feel/experience what you think you did, it was actually this other thing. If you cite…
/r/ExRedPill25/02/20 07:01 PM
8

Bro, you just described the patriarchy perfectly, and then said you disagree with it. You wrote what is essentially a Gender and Women's Studies 101 essay on "What is patriarchy?" and all the problems it causes.
/r/ExRedPill23/02/20 03:50 PM
13

To have someone test your boundaries, you have to first know what your boundaries are. You might not think of these often, but it is good to mull over what you do and do not want from relationships. These can be really simple. You might decide that a boundary with family is that you don't really want to hear their opinions on your love life. You might decide a boundary is that you don't want to hear about a co-worker's problems every morning for twenty minutes. It's stating a limitation in a rel…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/20 05:53 PM
2

I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing to be single forever. We're alone on this cold, dead space rock. You'll be here for a while and then you'll die; whatever you want to do with that time is up to you. Many people have found meaningful lives without romantic partners or children. Having a job you love, a house you love, experiences you love, money to yourself...that's great. But that's only "freedom" if that's what you want to do. If that's a conscious choice, if that's a value-dr…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/19 02:12 PM
6

There's a hack out of cognitive behavior therapy you might find somewhat useful. The basic idea is that you can't control your thoughts. Your brain is like a noisy television station and even though you'd like to not re-live peeing your pants in grade school or the time you flubbed that presentation at work, it comes unbidden. Your brain has some specific tv shows it likes to play. Sometimes it plays the "I'm not good enough and no one really likes me" show. Sometimes it plays "Oh god, something…
/r/ExRedPill07/10/19 03:46 AM
1

This is super interesting to me and I am open to talking about it more if you're interested. I didn't just want to presume and write a whole thing if that's not what you were after.
/r/ExRedPill30/09/19 02:27 PM
4

I labor under the idea that happiness, real contentment, and pain are inextricably linked. You can't have one without the other. When we talk about sex, love, and intimacy, we're talking about vulnerability. If you want real human connection, you have to drop the barriers and be your real self, and that always comes with the risk that you may experience pain. You might trust the wrong person, you might be rejected, you might let someone in to your weird little world and they might fuck up your s…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/19 01:56 PM
1

I did watch the video (though I think I missed the first three minutes going back and rewatching it. I started at six minutes, then backtracked three or so, and then finished the video). I am not minimizing abuse. Your title postulates a link between abusive childhoods and the red pill. I was saying that a better link might be authoritarian parenting, not necessarily abuse. Which doesn't negate times in which authoritarian parenting BECOMES abuse. Which doesn't mean this wasn't abuse or that you…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/19 09:24 PM
28

Whelp...call me skeptical. I can tell you that he posted this to /r/relationship_advice one day ago, then /r/relationships right after that where it got removed. The top comment before it got pulled for trolling mentioned that it seemed unbelievable that he'd be fired for a high-paying job after missing two days because if you make enough money to go on multiple vacations without your spouse, chances are pretty good you'd get the courtesy of a "What the fuck happened to you" phone call. Only the…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/19 06:17 PM
1

Can I take another path with this? I would say, rather than abuse, the better correlation would be authoritarian parenting. That can absolutely verge into abuse, but so can other parenting styles as well. The idea behind authoritarian parenting is that children need more rules, more discipline, and more structure. There's a strict adherence to traditional power structures (I am the parent and you do what I say) and traditional gender roles. I hear him say, "I was always being watched, I was alwa…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/19 05:16 PM
9

Follow up question: Are you contending that all women are hypergamous or just that the concept exists? Is the argument that these are the women being honest about a phenomenon that is a biological mandate or that they are making a choice to engage in this strategy?
/r/ExRedPill19/08/19 11:26 PM
10

Yeah...that study (the psychology today one) is bogus. Well, not BOGUS just...not really representing what it says it represents. P.T. didn't do the study. They are quoting this study. And what that study was looking for was personality traits that corresponded to submissive or dominate sexual preferences. It did that by asking people to fill out a survey for themselves by posting it on Reddit. Of the people who responded, only 80 identified as dominates compared to 190 submissives. And what the…
/r/ExRedPill17/08/19 04:54 PM
2

I think its reasonable to say you never want to get married because signing the contract is too risky. But, keep in mind, there are risks to NOT signing the contract (and I don't mean socially). If you are in a long-term relationship that follows a traditional format (living together or having children) there's significant benefits to working as a team. You can make choices as a single financial unit that would be terribly disadvantageous to a single person. Consider a couple where, in the event…
/r/ExRedPill17/08/19 01:37 AM
7

Serious question: do you have a problem with the rules of divorce as you understand them? By that I mean have you figured out whether you're in a common property or equitable distribution state? Do you object to how your state divides property? Have you actually looked up how this works independent of any commentary from outside sources? Because, look, Jeff Bezos is getting a fair deal in my opinion. Washington is a community property state. That means all marital assets (property/money/capital/…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/19 01:53 PM
3

I am going to crib a lot of Contrapoints here, but I think the black pill is ideological cutting. Its self-harm for masochistic pleasure. And some of it, emphasis on SOME, has some merit. It is kind of bullshit that we have this narrative that there's someone for everyone and that romantic love is a rite of passage. There's a narrative that all you need to do to find someone is go out in the world and "be yourself" and you'll eventually pair off. That's an incorrect and frustrating narrative for…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/19 01:56 PM
18

Have you ever seen The West Wing? There's a scene with a pollster that goes a little something like this. She's trying to explain why the president shouldn't back an amendment banning flag burning. She makes the point that, if asked, 82% of people support banning flag burning. Those are great numbers and one would assume it means the president should support the bill. The problem comes when you ask them how MUCH they care. Ask them that, and it becomes kind of a 'meh' issue. It turns out no one …
/r/ExRedPill16/07/19 07:04 PM
26

Welcome to my personal crusade. I am so angry and frustrated about what we're doing to a generation of men. You're right to be frustrated by the bleak picture being churned out by TRP, MGTOW, incels, etc. But it's not like there's a better message on the Blue Pill side of things. I am the first person to mock the whole notion that its a very scary time to be a man, because the context of that comment is fucking awful. But it is a VERY SCARY time to be a man in America, its just not because of wo…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/19 08:26 AM
5

Let me posit an alternative: what if it has nothing to do with gender? My view of this is that there are, of course, people in the world who play damsel in distress. There are also a number of men out there playing wayward gentlemen. There are people out there who push forward a emotional vulnerability and brokenness consciously or unconsciously. People find it attractive. It makes them feel capable and necessary to have a partner who seems to need them, who falls apart without them. It's a love…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/19 01:33 PM
1

I am a married, monogamous woman so I might not be who you want to hear from here. But still, for the fun of it... Two biggest issues My two issues are really the same issue but from two perspectives. Work has sucked for my husband for the last six months. It's been hellish. This is a problem in two ways that are impacting the relationship and not just his work life. The first is that when things get tough, I have to be the big shoulders. A lot of labor and even shared 'fun' defaults to me becau…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/19 10:23 PM
1

I think that's an interesting philosophical question, but I'd ask what it has to do with the price of tea. What I mean by that is that its an interesting thought experiment, but it really wasn't the point of what I wrote. You're talking about a very grey, sliding scale. Since there's no human alive that hasn't hurt someone, the question isn't whether people who hurt other people deserve love. I guess the question you're asking is how much you can hurt someone before you forfeit your right to lov…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/19 01:02 AM
3

I don't think you're disposable. I think your feelings matter. Self-love isn't narcissism. That's unhealthy self-love and sort of what you're describing when you imagine the concept. If you think about the people in your life, they are not The Best At Everything. That's an unreasonable bar for anyone to set. They also aren't without faults. Some of those will be small faults like never remembering to close the cabinet doors. Some of those will be big faults. Maybe they are chronically impatient …
/r/ExRedPill12/05/19 03:13 PM
2

I want to empower you with a fact that I think will make leaving him easier. There are ideologies in the world wherein tautology reigns supreme. The Red Pill is true because its true. It's built such that there are no cases where you can prove it wrong. That's not because its an infallible monolith of capital 'T' truth, but because it is a snake eating its own tail. You'll never provide a test case wherein you can look at him and say, "Look, this philosophy is bullshit because if [x] is true, th…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/19 08:56 PM
14

If your girlfriend wrote this post and I was going to give her advice, I'd tell her to ignore everything you said and look at everything you've done. So I'll give you the same advice. If you want a shot at repairing this....do something. Go to therapy. Join a group. Make a meaningful gesture to show that you understand the root cause of the fuck up, you have an invested interest in mending it, and you're prepared to do that regardless of whether that gets you back together or not. I am going to …
/r/ExRedPill09/04/19 05:04 PM
1

I might sound cold here, but you're a grown-ass adult asking the internet whether you can have dinner with another fully grown adult without getting "suckered". I have to ask, what would it look like for you to get suckered? If by suckered, do you mean that you might not get laid that very night? I don't know. I suppose it would depend on the date and how much she likes you in general, which I don't think anyone can predict. She is surely not going to be thinking about it with the intensity that…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/19 12:53 PM
10

Sexuality is natural and present in almost everyone. What I think might help is remembering that your girlfriend's sexuality is different than yours. Female and male sexuality are not the same. So while its there and its intense and important, it isn't going to be there in the same ways, intense in the same ways, and important in the same ways. And where it gets realllllly interesting (both to you as her boyfriend and just in a general sense) is that her sexuality isn't like any other woman's ei…
/r/ExRedPill08/03/19 03:57 PM
6

This is so well argued. And true. Well done.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 05:45 AM
4

I think if all else fails, apply the golden rule and treat her like you'd like to be treated. Personally? If I am going to have a casual, sexual relationship with someone I want the other person to be up front about what's on offer. You don't have to be cold, but you do have to be honest. I want to be respected outwardly and personally. That's pretty simple, actually. Don't tell god and everyone that you're screwing and be courteous and decent when you're together. The hardest rule of the casual…
/r/ExRedPill05/02/19 09:03 PM
13

For the sake of simplicity, take all the worries about what is/is not redpill out of the mix for a second. Pretend you're me and someone you don't know said, "Hey, my boyfriend said a kind of shitty thing to me" and told you about this conversation. I am in that position, I am not ex Red Pill, so I can tell you what I hear. Here's what I've got. First, he made a bad joke. Okay, yeah, whatever. My husband and I will routinely say things LIKE this and without context, it sounds bad. If he looked a…
/r/ExRedPill31/12/18 04:52 AM
9

The age gap is actually not that big. The national average is 2.3 years. I am married and my husband is...exactly two years and one month older than me. So yes, the numbers skew to an older man/younger woman dynamic, but not decades of age difference. We're talking very slightly older in most instances.
/r/ExRedPill23/12/18 09:20 PM
31

I can see why you think you're getting confirmation about those subjects in your life, but what if you aren't? Realistically, we don't just go out in the world and see without context. Whatever shit is in your head (blue, red, whatever) is going to frame how you see a situation. If you want to find what you see as hypergamy, you can go and find it. There will be someone out there enjoying the hell out of a Saturday night. But does that say anything about women as a group? Are you seeing the exam…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 10:12 PM
40

I am really glad this is working for you. That's awesome and important, and I'm really happy you're in a good place. So, here's my pitch about why the red pill isn't a long-term positive. Let's stipulate that this is working for you and its working well. Let's stipulate that the changes have been a net positive. I am the first person to swear that the red pill has some really, really great advice at a surface level. Their pitch about confidence, clear and honest communication, holding frame, and…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 12:20 AM
9

Game is really complicated. Some people have it naturally. What we're basically talking about are evolutionary advantageous, unconscious, and "common" triggers, tactics, and social expectations that people display when they want to seem attractive and/or they are attempting to attract someone. Women demonstrably touch their hair when they find someone attractive. Casual touching does create a sense of intimacy with someone you're new to knowing. For the extremely awkward, learning these cues man…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/16 01:57 PM
2

It was kinda embarassing and the girl laughed because I suck at kissing. Time, my friend. It gets a whole lot easier with some practice.
/r/seduction21/10/12 03:49 AM
3

There, their and they're....dummy.
/r/seduction23/09/12 07:14 PM
3

Severus Snape, ala Harry Potter. Tim Riggins, ala Friday Night Lights. Cold, fucked up, chock full of unintentional inner game. They are not role models for how to live your life, but damn if every girl I know doesn't want to fuck them. It's the tragic hero archetype and the living personification of "I don't give a damn". It is a quiet, almost non-vocal expression of highly intense sexuality. It is about winning the broken guy, even when you know better.
/r/seduction23/09/12 03:50 AM
11

Also listening! You cannot undervalue learning to listen to what people are actually saying to you in the moment and not being in your head about the next thing you're supposed to say. Because you have to be so in the moment and so responsive to what's going on around you, you get to get out of your own head and you start to react in the moment. Your reactions seem so much more genuine and you seem like such an engaging person because people feel like you're really "with" them. You're also a lot…
/r/seduction30/07/12 03:47 AM
4

This might be completely unhelpful but I find that I can complain less/come across more positive when I do a couple of things. You can use the common misery we all experience (commutes, bad food, long hours) to connect with people. Everyone loves to commiserate. The trick, in my experience, is to make it funny. If you're stuck on a slow train to what feels like nowhere in the mornings, you can bitch (which is going to put the people around you in a negative mood) or you can joke (which can be up…
/r/seduction14/07/12 02:02 AM
3

I have to ask the dumb question: Is anyone 100% sure that going to jail is even an option at this point. I mean, hopefully this kid was smart enough to delete the picture on his phone. Hopefully the daughter has done the same. If the mom took a copy of it, then it's a whole other can of worms, but I doubt that she would have that kind of foresight. Besides, if she look a copy and didn't turn it in for weeks or months, she's technically ALSO in possession of child pornography. So let's presume th…
/r/seduction16/05/11 11:45 AM
10

The reason I exist on this planet is because my dad kicked my mom's ass in cribbage one weekend. She thought he was charming but dumb until he brought out the cribbage board and housed her. She is really, really good at cards (they both were, technically but Cribbage is her game) and once he beat her, she gave him her number and seven years later I came along. More than that, having never really met a man who could beat her that soundly in cards, she went and looked him up next time she was in t…
/r/seduction12/05/11 10:34 PM
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