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FistFullOfBitches Archive

View 0 posts and 375 comments by FistFullOfBitches on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Just gonna vent for a minute. I've given my ex wife a lot of dough. Hypothetically, let's say close to a quarter million bucks in child support so far. Accounting for income tax, that's close to 325K of earned income. Had been trying to keep things civil and "go with the flow", but earlier this year I had the audacity (gasp!) to push back after the ex unilaterally emailed to demand that I pick up daughter from her work on Saturday the xxx of xxx or else I would be liable to pay for an uber to ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/17 02:33 AM
13

This reads pretty passive on your part, like the bartender and the bouncers did all the "alphaing" and you just stood there while they took care of you. That notwithstanding, always fun to see the tables get turned once in a while.
/r/TheRedPill30/07/17 09:17 PM
2

You almost had me with "I think I started to get it". But then... Every time that she was violent in our relationship it was because I was testing her frame to the point where I am bigger and physically stronger than her and I would not back down. So here, you're ascribing her behaviour, her decisions, her actions, to you testing her. Bzzt. False. Lots of people get their frame tested. Hundreds of millions of times daily across the nation. Only the really special ones use a tazer on the other pa…
/r/askMRP30/07/17 01:52 PM
1

Looked at the picture in your edit. Just start lifting already. Seriously. That's the definition of "skinnyfat". Noob gains will have you synthesizing muscle mass under pretty much any diet plan. Bulking obvs builds a little faster but get your ass over to the free weight section ASAP.
/r/askMRP27/07/17 07:02 PM
4

Dunno about the T, but will definitely say ZMA helps me get better sleep.
/r/askMRP27/07/17 02:27 PM
1

Books: marriedredpill sidebar has Athol Kay's "Married Man Sex Life Primer" for a reason. Work: First rule of fight club is don't talk about fight club. And from Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power" - Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others. Once you have internalized a LOT more you can decide if a specific situation warrants breaking either of these rules or not, but generally speaking, .... not.
/r/askMRP23/07/17 01:16 PM
6

I don't think the "let it go nuclear and hope the cops can see how much she's fucked me up" strategy is a good one. More like when the cops show up, you'll have taser marks all over your body and a black eye and they'll still haul you away, because the man is always the aggressor even when he's not. End goal to be a great dad with a "civil" relationship with my ex-wife If by "civil" you mean absolutely bare minimum of contact required to maintain a relationship with your child, without aggressiv…
/r/askMRP23/07/17 01:01 AM
7

When I protest [...] I have always ended up folding and going. So what you're saying, is when you say no you feel guilty? just don't know the right way to assert myself Funny, it looks like WISNIFG is billed as a way to "Learn the techniques to use to become more courteously and effectively assertive". Interesting.
/r/askMRP19/07/17 09:54 PM
7

Society absolves women of all responsibility. Jack Nicholson nailed it with this line from "As Good as it Gets" (1997).
/r/TheRedPill17/07/17 10:21 PM
3

in the sense of controlling her You can't control her. Period. All you can control is yourself. This is why we focus on owning your own shit rather than trying to "control" her. Although one of the things you can control yourself into doing, is setting up the best possible environment to foster the changes that you'd like to occur.
/r/askMRP16/07/17 01:23 PM
8

“How could you ruin our marriage bringing something up from the past?” After SHE cheated on YOU. I actually chuckled out loud at this. The hamster reigns supreme. Although, to be fair, at some point you will have to put that lingering resentment to bed. You absolutely cannot go through the remainder of your life feeling gutted (your words from last post) and seeing red (or whatever it is that you see) whenever the thought comes up, or she does something that reminds you of the affair, or you see…
/r/askMRP13/07/17 10:02 PM
11

Jesus, you defend and argue your rightness a lot. Must be a lot of fun to be married to you. The Latina thing is big. She expects you to be the latino man, not just a man's man. Man in charge of the house, man's word is the law, etc, even though she'll test twice as hard. So (slowly, eventually) you'll have to crank it up to eleven. Not to please her, but to be able to engage with her as a married man, and culturally her shit tests will also be cranked to eleven. And while those guys at the pub …
/r/askMRP11/07/17 02:01 PM
3

She married a provider who would set her up with a green card. You threatened your provider status to her by switching career paths, just when the end game was approaching and success was in her sights. She feels entitled to have the end game play out how she wanted so she thinks she can make all the demands of you. As if that isn't red flag enough, the whole twisting of words to make you the bad guy should be lighting up the sky in front of you like a crimson sunset. Recall how helpless, frustr…
/r/askMRP09/07/17 03:32 PM
3

So your hypothesis is that your wife is obsessing about her past, 30 years in the rearview. And now you're planning to obsess about something that happened 30 years ago yourself. Talk about not letting go what needs to be let go... you two sound like a real pair.
/r/askMRP07/07/17 07:26 PM
2

My oldest daughter is at college now and I got her a copy in her last year of high school. Mainly to help her figure out how to deal with her mother (my ex, with whom she primarily lived) whose chief methods of household control are based on fear and guilt. She was very interested in the concepts when I explained in a sort of psych-101 hand-wavy way about patterns of behaviour, learned bad habits and internalized wrong beliefs, and so on. But I don't know that she managed to get all the way thro…
/r/askMRP03/07/17 12:27 AM
1

this certainly feels like a step away from a closer and more intimate relationship with my wife. This line just smells wrong to me. Sure you know the difference between blooper intimacy fantasy and intimacy born out of strength, STFU, and showing carefully selected vulerability without fear of the consequences. Done it both ways myself with different women, it's truth. But if this BP intimacy is still implanted as your subconscious goal then you're hamstringing yourself in all your interactions …
/r/askMRP23/06/17 02:13 PM
9

Some different cases apply. Having an ego too fragile to own up to an obvious mistake is weakness. ("Damn, you're right, looks like I left the tap running. That was dumb!" vs panicky "No, it wasn't me, it must have been the kids left it on!"). Leaving a tap on isn't weakness, it's just a mistake. Having a healthy ego that's immune to irrelevant criticism and won't be cowed into "owning up" to a bullshit criticism is strength. ("Oh, you wanted me to do the laundry but you didn't even ask me and n…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 09:45 PM
–

So much bitterness over the past. Same basic idea as sunk cost fallacy. You are where you are now, all you can do is move on from there. Sounds like pretty much anything you do will be an improvement over what you've been doing so far, so there's that. Plus, you're fishing for validation by being so hard on yourself, it looks like a win-win strategy - either you get "aww, that sucks, let me help you", or you get to wallow in some more self pity. But the reality is that strategy will keep you stu…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 12:27 PM
1

What she's saying is that what you're describing as good sex, is really transactional in her mind. She's putting out so you have to reciprocate. It's not coming from actual desire, or from only a mediocre amount of desire. I agree with /u/rulezerodad on this one. So you have two prongs to tackle: desire, and the transactionality. Desire, like the other guys say - kick up your fun, give her feelz, take her on a roller coaster of emotions. Transactionality - don't contribute to the problem by rewa…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 12:04 PM
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I remember that OYS and the whole "void" thing definitely resonated. The external validation thing was definitely part of it for me, but in a different way. I realized lot of the stuff I did I realized was part of a need for validation from my dad, or a need to "connect" with him in some way by emulating things he modeled when I was growing up. Realizing that helped peel off the layer, but also highlighted a lack of genuine "me" goals unclouded by some subconscious need to out-smart, out-build, …
/r/askMRP14/06/17 02:53 PM
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I listened to WOTSM on audio; maybe it was a different version because I don't recall the layers bit in particular, but his description of finding your life's higher purpose definitely hit me. Probably because I had never felt that before. And the layers thing makes sense, it's an experience I had after I divorced by first wife. Over a period of several years I gave up a bunch of hobbies, like woodworking, that I had felt driven to work at but was very unskilled with. Discarded some big collecti…
/r/askMRP14/06/17 12:17 PM
10

The goal of TRP is NOT to make your SO more crazy. They do that all on their own. Pure gold.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/17 10:38 PM
4

Sounds like you're blaming the victims here. /s
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/17 10:36 PM
9

OP blames alcoholic wife and alcoholic MIL for all his problems. Then proceeds to the bar to drown his sorrows. Oh the irony.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/17 12:13 PM
2

As long as you go to length to avoid her emotional reactions, she has a "hook" in you she can use to manipulate you. Becoming able to weather the storm if she gets upset, angry, irritable, whatever is how you get past that. Nothing in life is ever 100% smooth sailing and goes 100% how you want it - you will always ruffle some feathers and so you have to get used to being able to do that. In it's most autistic form it's just ignoring her and walking away, but Archwinger gave some good advice in a…
/r/askMRP31/05/17 07:24 PM
3

Two quotes: I am not sure why she resorts to using anger and resentment as her primary emotion in our relationship. and If I have to communicate an expectation I have to tread lightly because she gets angry. You've answered your own question here. Because, from her perspective, it works. Anger works as a tool to get you to back off. Because you're afraid of her being angry. Behavioural patterns don't form based on what is idealistically the best thing to do. They tend to form based on experience…
/r/askMRP31/05/17 04:09 PM
1

There were a couple interesting posts on Dalrock's blog on the topic of mother-in-law vs wife problems. His thesis is that when the wife tries to manipulate the husband into getting in the middle, more drama ensues. His solution, however, relies on somewhat active participation on the part of the wife (surrender her role as "leader" of the family), so the advice, while in line with MRP, would require some buy-in from your wife. I now know this is a terrible idea, don't get involved in female dra…
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:08 PM
3

Aside: For the long time MRP'ers, this reads like a younger, less experienced version of user LifeChoiceReflector, if that's even possible. You both sound like children. You were engaged at sixteen? You're needy, clingy, weak, and pedestalizing like someone who's not even that old. And she wants to be permanently connected to you by webcam, like a little kid who wants to hold mommy's hand at the supermarket. No alpha here boys, move right along. Grow the fuck up.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/17 12:49 PM
4

I think you're a control freak as well as a narcissist. All this grandiose tactical planning of the shock and awe with which you'll render your wife and her therapist helpless is just one big self-aggrandizing fantasy of yours. But I guess it's easier to dream big than to actually do the hard work of self reflection and improvement.
/r/askMRP21/05/17 10:15 PM
2

Yes.. I realize it wasn't about the kid. It was about her perceiving that I didn't have things handled Honestly I don't even think it was about that. Your wife sounds more like she has 95% anger simmering under the surface and is just waiting for someone to put the socks away in the wrong drawer or some shit to completely blow a gasket. Your characterization that this isn't really like her strikes me as off somehow.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 04:51 PM
1

One. Cut a hole in the box.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/17 12:13 PM
2

Was going to correlate what's causing your wife's pain with having a 276 lb fat guy on top of her, but weakandsensitive beat me to it. But on a less acerbic note, your whole posts here is about reading and planning. In general, useful activities. But in your case seemingly passive and useless. Your actions, on the other hand, are in each and every case pretty much the exact opposite of both your plans and/or what the guys here would advise you to do. You planned a diet. Then blew it. You planned…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/17 08:02 PM
3

She told me that she likes me kinda chubby Because she doesn't like the dread of you being attractive to other women. And in the immortal words of Dom Mazetti (from the "Dad Bod is Worse then Ebola" rant) "Question: what do girls really want in a relationship? Love? Trust? An equal partner with values and depth? FUCK NO! They want the upper hand. Being the prettier one gives them the power. Relationships are a constant match-up. If you're dating a dad-bod, you win by default." https://youtu.be/i…
/r/askMRP17/05/17 02:47 PM
–

So you're seething with rage, secretly punishing your wife, and holding onto something that you hate out of spite. With an attitude like that, what could go wrong?
/r/askMRP13/05/17 12:17 PM
1

Obligatory "Clerks" reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om_WKVG3xoA&feature=youtu.be&t=22
/r/askMRP12/05/17 03:03 PM
1

Marriage does not ever makes things better. Not ever. Never. That's the lie of the feminine imperative. All it does is put the noose tighter around your neck. What you're describing now sounds seriously lame. Why would you want to live worse? And you commented elsewhere "what if she becomes submissive?"... yeah, what if I keep putting lead fishing sinkers in my microwave? Eventually one of them has to transmute into gold, right? So I'll either get married or crash and burn the relationship. You …
/r/askMRP12/05/17 01:46 PM
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Every unhappy wife is a rape victim, and you're arguing with her about it Just in case OP isn't familiar with this gem: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3fpefe/every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 05:46 PM
3

This saved a bit early, I meant to tag ... and I didn't even mean to send it - [...] But of course, I hit "send" instead. Anyone else see the universe revealing it's deep sense of amused irony here as it manifests itself through OP?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 05:26 PM
6

Second this, especially the meditation advice. It seems to work in two ways: one, just increasing your baseline relaxation, and after a blowout it can be very soothing to just do a sit for a half hour and be in a much better place afterwards. Two, it teaches you to see your thoughts and emotions for what they are - half the time they're just random, fleeting, reactive nonsense that comes out of nowhere. It becomes a lot easier to just watch anger arise but not get sucked into it once you start t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 02:25 PM
10

Hiding your anger and punching yourself in the leg isn't really much of an improvement over being an outwardly angry child. Sounds like your therapy only changed the expression of your problem, not the problem itself. But, honestly...it feels so good to be MAD This is the conditioning that you've been feeding yourself for years that's led to you holding onto this need to be angry. It's a lie. Same as an alcoholic saying the drink feels so good, when it's actually giving him a headache, an upset …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 02:15 PM
2

When you described the book ultimatum a couple weeks ago, a few guys suggested that you were seeing temporary compliance, negotiated good behaviour, not actual acceptance. And now you're here describing her bad behaviour and disrespect escalating. Huh. Go figure. A month ago, you write that you were totally unplugged. Now you write that you're codependent. I think you're on the right track now, but this suggests all that you still don't know your own mind and your own goals very well. So knowing…
/r/askMRP06/05/17 02:02 PM
6

You posted it for external validation, for feelz, and because you get as much of a rush out of saying you're going to do something than actually doing it. Pretty common traits, actually, but they resulted in you living the life you're living right now. You might wanna change that shit up.
/r/askMRP06/05/17 01:38 PM
2

Time it up with the rest of your day - can you take a break after, even just sit with a cup of coffee for a half hour, or start your commute to work? A little time to decompress before engaging with someone (especially your wife). Of course, lifting and/or fucking isn't that bad either :-) As far as getting too far in your own head after a session, try detaching yourself a little. Get used to the idea that the emotions you feel, the thoughts you have, are transient, temporary, changeable, and fl…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 07:08 PM
1

Ahh yes, Jack. He had a gift, that one. I still love reviewing his posts when they get re-linked, always something else to glean.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 06:56 PM
5

Bar. Dinner & (presumably) drinks. Wings & drinks. Bar hopping. How much of this was fueled by booze on both your parts? Does she often go off when she has a few drinks? Do you find it harder to maintain a level head, keep your frame, keep your reply proportionate, after a few too many?
/r/askMRP30/04/17 09:05 PM
5

Don't wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 09:10 PM
–

I used to wear jeans and baggy XL t-shirts 90% of the time. The other 10% was jeans with baggy XL sport shirts/cotton dress shirts. And a 50/50 split of sneakers and real shoes. Proud to say I haven't worn jeans in probably a year. And t-shirts are an occasional deliberate attempt to look casual, in fitted tight ones. The pants I have are still mostly sport/casual, but are a mix of different colors and styles for variety to punch things up. Kuhl Outkast, Prana cords, Banana Republic stretch deni…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/17 07:32 PM
4

It's an interesting breakdown, and I think there's value in pointing out that not everything she throws at you is a simple shit test. But I think you're oversimplifying your assumptions (the first half of the post) where you bemoan the idea that men have to accept all female behaviour. I'd argue that men have to control themselves in the face of all behaviour, but are still able to (or in fact, ought to) provide negative feedback (disciple, withdraw time/attention, covert communication, whatever…
/r/TheRedPill24/04/17 01:06 PM
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Second for the Eastwood. Check him out in something like High Plains Drifter. John Wayne is another good one. Pacino as Michael Corleone - watch how calmly he handles the situation where his sister comes in screaming, accusing him of murdering her husband. And tangentially, the guy who played Escobar on Netflix's "Narcos" series did a great job of presenting calm in the face of fire, stoicism and frame.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 12:11 PM
1

Went looking for a Haynes manual last month, actually, and it looks like they don't even make them anymore, since about 2010 or so IIRC. End of an era.
/r/askMRP22/04/17 07:17 PM
1

Not saying anything at all is OK as a default, until you get a little more used to yourself. And maybe some of the difficulty you have is also because there's context and delivery and presentation as well which you can't describe as much in text. You remember the rules? Rule 1: be attractive, Rule 2: don't be unattractive. Being weak and showing that you're not in control is unattractive. There was a guy elsewhere in this thread who wrote about losing his father when he was young. If he spent wa…
/r/askTRP22/04/17 03:47 PM
2

It's weird but I've found that some foods (esp carby junky ones) that, when I used to massively binge on them, would actually send me into a dark mood and I'd find myself angrier and quick to enter an argument. Chalk this up to experience, learn from it, and move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/17 11:41 PM
3

There's "weak-vulnerable" which is the blue pill pouring his unattractive weaknesses, insecurities, and his heart out in the hope of nice-guying his way into some pussy. Then there's "strong-vulnerable" where you have your shit together, aren't going to be crushed by her response no matter what it is, and consequently aren't afraid to share a little something: "I would feel terrible if the courts let my ex take away my kids visitation", or "Seeing an old dog always makes my heart beta a little f…
/r/askTRP21/04/17 07:30 PM
2

It's not a yes/no proposition. There's a spectrum, all the way from stupidly yakking all the time to becoming autistically mute. You don't need to redline it all the way to the autistic side.
/r/askTRP21/04/17 07:23 PM
3

You could always go lift five-six times a week instead.
/r/askTRP21/04/17 07:17 PM
6

It's not just showing that you give a fuck, it's that you act like a fourth grader playing tit-for-tat. "Well you broke my Barbie so I get to break one of your GI Joe dolls". There are a couple good posts on frame in the archives: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/337uvx/the_elements_of_frame_0_introduction/ https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/62awdg/a_practical_guide_to_building_frame/ Frame is often mis-interpreted by newbies as merely being calm, or acting with a s…
/r/askMRP20/04/17 06:50 PM
3

Agree 100% with the "she's creating drama and he's feeding it" analysis.
/r/askMRP20/04/17 06:35 PM
5

I calmly asked to have her phone to delete a friend from her facebook of my choosing. Yeah, no. Just because you did it "calmly" doesn't make this any less of a reactive, control-freak bitch move. You're getting sucked into her drama... where's your own frame in all of this?
/r/askMRP20/04/17 03:15 PM
1

I'm actually pretty exited about 16/8 IF myself, and also a weekly 36-44 hour fast. Stumbled across a book 'The Obesity Code" by Dr Jason Fung which seems to explain a lot of the science behind why fasting is so effective. A lot of the stuff he says resonates with my own experience - if true it's a gamechanger for me. I'm only 4 days in but lost 2 lbs during my first 36hr fast which has stayed off. I'm also finding that it's hard to try to refill my usual 2000-2500 cal in 8 hours without feeling…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 01:47 PM
3

What a dumpster fire. At this point you should think of her as a sparring partner, nothing more. She's done and the only reason she hasn't left yet is that you provide some sort of finacial/resource security to her. You say the marriage has only a 1% chance (accurate IMHO) and yet you're rearranging your career to move in order to fix it? That sounds backwards to me. Youre list of six things she demanded all read like: 1. Put my balls in her purse. 2. Put my balls in her purse. 3. Put my balls i…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 12:28 PM
–

Solid list. From my experience, regarding point 2, do NOT speak of details of your last marriage to your new women. I made the BP mistake of trying to build a "connection" by "opening up" and sharing some of the difficulties of my first marriage to my current wife in the beginning. Not just an attraction killer, but fuel for numerous rounds of aggressive "why the hell did you let that happen/act like that?", and "why don't you treat me like that (i.e. bend over and act like a beta) when you did …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/17 11:13 PM
1

Mine was tendonosis - chronic inflamation of the tendons causing pain. But was aggravated after an injury landing from a fall such that it jammed my shoulder up. Slow and steady - tendons take a long time to heal because there's basically zero bloodflow to them compared to, say, muscles.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 01:53 PM
1

how do I go along with the silent treatment? https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2qygv7/i_love_the_silent_treatment/
/r/askMRP07/04/17 10:20 AM
1

I also remembered this site on an old bookmark - there was a lot of interesting psychology about BPD/narcissism and the so-called cluster B personality disorders and the type of people who get into relationships with them. Start here, also google "false selves" at the same website, and if you follow all the hyperlinks to the guy's other articles there's a lot of very cool info there. It may or may not provide you with a plan of action, but I found them to be really interesting reading. http://th…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/17 01:26 PM
1

The BPD articles that come to mind are Shari Schreiber's - google them, a couple guys here have recommended them. No BPD experience personally, but I've read most of them, and the psychology and explanations are pretty eye-opening. For codependence self-help, a good author is Darlene Lancer, she wrote the "dummies guide" or one of those yellow books IIRC.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/17 05:17 AM
–

God damn son. If only I was half as far along as you at age 27. Took me another two decades to get close to that point. You mention lack of abundance mentatility, and poor game skills. They go hand-in hand. One thing to work on. You have a lot of awareness, you mention BPD which naturally brings up codependence (the matching piece) on your part. I assume you've researched a lot of the literature and found ideas on how to help yourself. If not, there have been a lot of good links on MRP and TRP a…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/17 01:03 PM
6

Damn, Wesley Snipes sure knows how to rock a sexy pair of overalls! But yeah, this is exactly it.
/r/TheRedPill04/04/17 12:05 PM
4

"taking the pill" and going to the gym is kinda putting lipstick on a pig. Right now you're freeloading off her, and have no real plan for what happens when the baby comes. Seriously, you need to budget for this; either she takes time off work or you pay for daycare unless you can lean on family and even in that case it would only be decent to offer something. Unless your only option is to make minimum wage in order to just break even with daycare costs, or you have some realistic vision of reli…
/r/askMRP03/04/17 11:57 PM
2

I can vouch for this one - I ran it to get my +25 lbs weighted from 3 pullups to 10. Currently mid-cycle with +45, up to 7 reps. It worked OK for me even though I didn't run it every single day, I suspect the daily is good if you're doing bodyweight. With more extra weight I found my shoulders and elbows needed a little extra time off in between days.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 10:32 PM
1

Sounds reasonable to me, but I'm only getting started with them. I'm aiming for at least 2x/week, but if you're pressed for gym time you might target differently.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 10:29 PM
–

Jeez. It's just like in that Stallone movie from the 80's where they have to defrost a cryogenically frozen "criminal" from the past to help the lame police force in a utopian politically correct ultra-passive society. The society is so weak the cops can't do anything stronger than use a verbal warning. Demolition Man, that's what it was called.
/r/TheRedPill03/04/17 06:02 PM
–

https://www.t-nation.com/training/screw-cardio-four-complexes-for-a-shredded-physique Tried the first one out in the list last week. It felt pretty easy to start (just two 10 lbs bumpers on the bar to give some height) but I'll admit, I was definitely breathing hard. Did 5-6 rounds and it was way more fun than the treadmill. Going to make these a regular thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 02:44 PM
2

OK, first off, echoing everything that u/JDRoedell said to you. Second, some other general stuff. Your post reeks of some kind of psychological bass-ackwardness. A lot of the things you desribe sound like you try to control your wife, your father, your new employee, taking responsibility for their behaviour. This is the eaxct opposite of what the world is actually like - the only hing you can control is yourself. You may influence, or guide, or coax others, sure, but you seem to be stuck in a me…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 01:56 PM
–

This is just a cut n paste of resolutions316 post this week. WTF?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 01:37 PM
1

Got a blast of snow last week. Pissed me off. Went and bought a new gun. Can't wait to shoot it. Most people would have gone with a snowblower, but I'll give you extra man points for clearing the snow from your driveway with an assault rifle.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 07:08 PM
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I was at the mall a while ago and saw this college-aged young man walking around with a sort of grunge/metal inspired style. Some kind of slogan on a big patch sewn on the back of his jean jacket. On closer approach, it read "Fuck The Patriarchy". Fuck. It's an uphill battle.
/r/TheRedPill29/03/17 05:28 PM
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About your shoulder. If you can see a physiotherapist, get an evaluation, advice, and exercises. There is also a LOT of good info on youtube for shoulder rehabilitation - stretches, exercises, and so on. Is it rotator cuff, delt, tendon, what? Work on rehab, and start light so you do not injure it again. You can still do some other work. I had a bad shoulder issue and could not push but could pull OK. So I did lots of cable rows and deadlifts for my back. You could also do hypers for your lower …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 03:36 PM
1

Sounds like you're on the verge of reinventing the judo pushup ( https://youtu.be/K916bJcLmok )...
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 03:00 PM
14

I wanted to punch the fucker in the face, multiple times, really hard. and At this point I lost it and starting giving it back as much as she was giving me. Your fuckup isn't with either of these situations; they just exposed the symptoms of the fuckup. The real fuckup is that you think carrying around all this anger, unchecked, is somehow a way to live life as a man. It shows you're unable to respond, only to react. No wonder you wound up with a bad marriage. Your job is to change that. How? Re…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/17 01:26 PM
3

This is exactly what I thought too when I read your last couple of exchanges. You're suggesting putting a safety net/backup plan in place while OP learns to own his shit vis a vis setting boundaries and asserting himself, i.e. doing some hard work on self growth. Instead, OP is taking out of your suggestion a "big stick" (divorce papers) to try to hammer her into submission. In that little fantasy world his big stick means that he doesn't have to actually face the unpleasant discussions and emot…
/r/askMRP23/03/17 04:15 PM
2

Re: competition: I'm assuming there are women in your family, hence "her" family competes with "your" family for first place. But it's interesting that this minor thing is the only point you chose to take from my comment. Your post and replies here are a contradictory mix of claiming you're a leader, while simultaneously providing a litany of counterexamples where your wife walks all over you and you either just state is as if it's a simple matter of fact, or hamster reasons why you can't assert…
/r/askMRP23/03/17 02:34 PM
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I've been working on a theory that everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in a woman's world is about competition with other women. Based on this, it's a no-brainer where this is coming from. But the bigger picture is what to do about it. This isn't just a little thing, this is a symptom of unchecked shitty behaviour. You keep deflecting the blame (and the behaviour) at the idea that she's a "feminist" but it's really that she doesn't meaningful (not this adjective) feedback that enforces your bound…
/r/askMRP23/03/17 01:57 PM
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.. and felt guilty about doing it. My girlfriend was waiting for me at home, Sure, some of that guilt can be eased by the thinking mind (i.e. reading, reflecting, rationalizing), but you need to start taking the action of moving out of your comfort zone even though it feels a little funny. Only once you expand your comfort zone through experience will it start to feel normal. Good for you for spending the time with your bud. Action item should be: "re-read NMMNG AND THEN GO OUT AND FIND SOMETHIN…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/17 05:16 PM
4

I saw the font, the lame-ass soft colours, the artistic pictures of the fruit. That pretty much set the tone for the woo-oh-so-poignant opening paragraph, so that's as far as I got. I closed the link and went back to what I was doing. You coulda just done the same. But, trying to be a little more helpful, I went back and read the thing. Points to note about specific quotes if you need to keep yourself grounded: There’s a sadness in her eyes, too, and you can’t figure it out. Presumption that fig…
/r/askMRP21/03/17 09:22 PM
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How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 09:37 PM
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I'm not entirely sold on evo-psych. There are components coming from it, for sure, but there can also be a lot of socially imposed overriding factors that are equally as strong if not stronger at play. Speaking just as one guy, I was willing to overlook a lot more in a ONS than I would for a LTR. But TBH, the thought of going down on a girl who's seen more seamen than captain highliner definitely moves the needle on the the gag-o-meter (after the booze wears off the next day, I mean).
/r/askMRP20/03/17 01:49 PM
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The general thinking is that past behaviour does, in fact, tend to predict future behaviour. Either in terms of outright cheating, unwanted comparisons, or general internalized attitude about "male disposability", all of which are less than desirable.
/r/askMRP20/03/17 12:22 PM
1

There was some good info on the sixty days of dread thread about style IIRC.
/r/askMRP20/03/17 12:20 PM
1

she must indeed have felt so furious and exhausted because of this long walk she had to do to and from the station (despite I indeed drove her there and back home in the evening) People often think that sarcasm is humour, like A&A or AM. But it's not conveying humour at all. Generally, it's conveying superiority, smugness, and condescension. And instead of generating a feeling of irritation that she can't break your good natured frame and inviting her in (like A&A), sarcasm generates a feeling o…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/17 04:01 PM
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Making a deadline but not attaching any action plan to it (in the form of leading, talking, acting, or letting her know in some way that you expect more from her) is just a way to hamster away any guilt you might have about pulling the eject because "there was a deadline". OTOH if you take some action and nothing happens then I'm more on board with you. You have, what, 30-40 years left on this earth (assuming averages), make sure the person you're planning to spend those years with is adding val…
/r/askMRP16/03/17 01:50 PM
2

Yes. But realize that you also still feel a lot of anxiety over your wife's emotions (despite what you write about NGAF) - read and reread point #5 in the response by u/LewisCross.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 06:31 PM
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I feel for you man. My ex-wife was almost exactly the same kind of depressed/angry/crazy most of the time. I lived in hell for years. The idea of taking the kids out of the house in the face of her physical tantrum was a good call. But saying you're going to do it, then backing down because she flipped her shit is just teaching her that she runs the show and your boundaries don't actually matter. Are you a shitty husband? I don't know. But you sure as fuck have a huge hand in setting the tone an…
/r/askMRP10/03/17 04:19 PM
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You certainly aren't the first guy to have that reaction to NMMNG. This was the book that started to crack open the rabbit hole for me a couple years back.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 04:02 PM
3

ReddJive isn't wrong - I read nothing light and funny in your response, only a snarky reply. You seem to be willing to listen to criticism, so as a further mini-exercise for you: once you have a chance to cool off a bit (a day maybe), re-read that response, and consider how you'd react if someone said that to you, then consider whether you often react to your wife that way, and whether that's going to be a productive way to build respect, trust, desire, or any of those other nice intangibles.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:57 PM
1

For various reasons [...], she’s still in my house. Yeah. The reason is that you're her slave. This is a good time for you to read (or re-read) The Manipulated Man. Long listen; download and put in on during your commute or something. That status you fear losing - it's all part of the bullshit slave training programming.
/r/askMRP05/03/17 08:31 PM
4

Edit: also think very long and hard before throwing out the suggestion for counseling. That shit will make everything 10x worse. Also, it very very often happens in a relationship that person A throws out "counselling" in order to try to punish aka teach person B a lesson, or to introduce a third party to help coerce person B into doing what A wants. Usually, A is the wife in this pattern, but OP should step back and be really honest about his motives on this.
/r/askMRP03/03/17 04:43 PM
2

Been mulling this over all morning. You're right. Thanks for pointing it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/17 04:40 PM
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Bit of a mixed bag here. Two basic issues though: life satisfaction (job & life focus), plus some issues with kids from first marriage and ex. Lifting & diet: two years into lifting. At 6'1 220lbs, late 40's I have what I hamster away as a "powerbelly". I look pretty lean in a t-shirt when I suck my gut in, but in the mirror in undies it's not so hot - definite muffin tops. Deadlifting a smidge under 450 now, block pull a smidge over, and can do weighted pullups with a 45 plate for reps. Getting…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 04:51 PM
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The Game was my introduction to everything. Found TRP/MRP a little under a year later and everything started to really click, though I was divorced at the time. After being basically a five year post-divorce relationship incel, I started working on game and it was mind-blowing to me that one single week I kissed three new, strange women I just met. Absolutely showed me that everything I used to believe was wrong, so wrong. But after remarrying, my need to game other women has gone down a lot and…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 02:27 PM
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This isn't real anger management theory, just my own experience. Two basic approaches to temper: reduce your baseline simmering anger/threshold and mindfullness. Baseline can be reduced by removing stress, reading and trying to conceptually reframe things so they don;t get you so worked up - this is where a book like Irvine's :Art of Stoic Joy" is good. But all this doesn't help much if you still have this threshold where once you start to go off, it's game over and full blown temper. Mindfullne…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 02:14 PM
2

For the first time in many, many years I felt absolutely zero guilt for making my needs a priority. Helluva thing, ain't it? I love seeing little gems like this in FR's.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 02:07 PM
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Random collection of good books I liked as a kid (Grade 5-8 maybe) that, as far as memory serves, model some positive traits: Jack London "Sea Wolf", a book called something like "New Adventures of the Mad Scientist Club, DM Pinkwater "Alan Mendelson boy from Mars".
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 03:02 PM
4

Eat more. A lot of people tend to run these diet programs "open loop" meaning they read 2500 cals on the internet, do a food calculator for 2500 cals, then assume they're the same thing. But there are always errors in the measurements, in energy expenditure estimates, in the way you count ingredients, etc. They need to use feedback instead. Eating at "2500" as measured by you doesn't mean much until you find out whether you're actually losing or gaining. Then apply adjustments as needed. If you …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 02:57 PM
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Indian reserve in the 1980's in northern Manitoba - remember reading in the Winnipeg Free Press about an epidemic of moms giving their kids rags dipped in gasoline to help them sleep. I forget the exact name of the reserve but they called it something like the "Shattamawa soother".
/r/askMRP26/02/17 02:27 PM
1

Thanks for the review - I'll keep it on my rainy day read list then.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 02:24 PM
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I never took drugs for the stress - not like I'm against it, it just didn't feel right for me. I always felt like getting to the root cause of the problems (external factors plus my own messed up thinking) was the better option - the same shit would have just been staring me in the face the day I decided to go off any drugs I might have started up on.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 06:36 PM
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I used to get panic attacks bad, too. Right around the time of a lot of work and marriage and family stress as well. Best thing I did was get therapy for myself, then divorced the first wife. Problem solved.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 01:56 PM
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Other have covered your wife's behaviour. So I'm going to go a little meta here. One thing I see in your post is that virtually every paragraph in the first half is follows the structure "X sucks BUT Y excuse". Fat, SMV 3 BUT great hair. Read sidebar BUT not implemented, BECAUSE 'I'm an analyser' (excuse). Never lifted BECAUSE... What I take away from this is that you're very hesitant, very wishy washy, have a hard time taking a stand on something without undermining your own position, even to t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/17 07:47 PM
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Ahh, nothing like insecurity and depression to win over the girl. There was this one pretty hot girl used to come out once in a while to my regular bar. Band was playing, the first set I was talking to her, hand around her waist, just chatting it up. Noticed this guy out of the corner of my eye, they kept making eye contact, thought he might be the boyfriend but DNGAF. Intermission came, he storms over to her, gives her a tongue lashing about letting strange guys touch her. Second set rolls arou…
/r/TheRedPill20/02/17 01:49 AM
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Good progress and a nice report. RP Input: Reading Strauss' The Truth right now. Been curious to read that one myself. It seemed on the surface, though, that when the book came out he had been beaten down by the mainstream media, "apologized" on some mainstream chick talk TV show, and this book was effectively his recanting of "The Game". I'd be tempted to read it with a very critical eye.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/17 03:50 PM
2

The surprise will be when the marriage counselor suggests it for her. Either revenge fantasy or covert contract ("I'll go to therapy so that this happens."). It might happen, it might not. Don't get invested in that idea. I took a break from MRP over the last two weeks. I realized that I didn't need a sexual strategy War zone, wife with issues, therapy,... maybe you don't need a sexual strategy directly, but you need all the stuff in the MRP toolbox that's there for to better yourself. So then, …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/17 03:44 PM
1

When I saw the headline, I thought it was this thing that happened in Canada yesterday. Woman tries to drown baby in the lake. But she was "apprehended under the Mental Health Act, so she can get the resources and services she needs". Of course she was. Now let me see the same article when a man does that, and how he gets the services he needs.
/r/PussyPass14/02/17 02:12 PM
2

Fair enough. Then yes, it can be worth it. It doesn't mean it's easy, but it makes a lot more sense to put your best foot forward and work hard when you live a good life as a result, than to work hard to be a supplicating beta and live in misery as a result.
/r/askMRP14/02/17 02:07 PM
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I costs me effort but I notice the progress. Huh. Effort. Life is hard, ain't it? Go figure. You want easy, take a macrame class.
/r/askMRP14/02/17 01:49 PM
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Dad jeans, plaid I used to dress "canuck casual" too. After ditching a lot of the stuff I used to wear, I once drove by one of those homeless/panhandler guys on the 401 exits. The dude was wearing loose fitting jeans, plaid "Kawartha dining jacket", and down filled vest. Realized I used to dress exactly like a fucking panhandler. Christ was that ever a kick in the teeth.
/r/askMRP09/02/17 06:53 PM
2

for disrespecting me especially after her knowing my insecurities This thinking right here is ass backwards. The whole reason she's disrespecting you is because you show insecurities. You should thank her for pointing out to you where your obvious weakness is, so you can fix it, through developing your frame and NGAF. You patch the holes in the boat instead of yelling at the ocean to back off.
/r/askMRP03/02/17 06:38 PM
0

While it's possibly a troll, I have seen firsthand similar behaviour from my sister in law. She was seeing a guy for a year or so, was pretty serious for a while, (not married yet) and went completely mental when she found out he was voting for Trump, told him to fuck off and disappear, blocked from facebook, the whole nine yards. In her case, though, there were some definite red flags with SIL's personality type and some red flags in their relationship, so I can see why she might have put "medi…
/r/askMRP24/01/17 02:56 AM
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This is a nice list, and I agree with the "self-actualized" characterization in the other comments. I've always held that the RP arts are two-pronged: the game side and the self-side. A man with game but no self-side is just a PUA and will recreate the same shitty relationships he would have anyways, just with hotter and more demanding women. Self-actualization is where the life wins come from.
/r/TheRedPill23/01/17 03:26 PM
4

Ahhh.. it's AMOG guy back with another ill-thought out and ultimately self-destructive plan. You're hamstering reasons to fuck this girl and looking for validation from the net to do it. Your suspicion of your wife in your mind makes this a fair tit-for-tat? To what ends? To blow up your own marriage passive-aggressively (when she "accidentally" discovers you stepping out) because you think she probably deserves it? Or to get involved with a woman who evidently has a high probability of being an…
/r/askMRP22/01/17 12:11 PM
1

I'll associate flowers with me using it to negotiate desire This is a key insight, but again, be careful of the context. If you associate it with negotiated desire only because we've told you so in this thread, then forget it, you've learned nothing. But if you can see that little part of yourself that felt worried that you'd done something wrong because she was grumpy, and that you were buying flowers both to soothe that worried,guilty voice in your head as much as you were trying to affect her…
/r/askMRP21/01/17 03:40 PM
3

But when she shows tendencies to act like this and he provides NO MEANINFUL PUSHBACK, sets NO BOUNDARIES, and models ACCEPTANCE of this behaviour, the outcome is pretty much inevitably what you describe. When we say this is his "fault", it's not to moralize or shame or say he's damned to some beta Hell, it's to point out a cause-and-effect chain that he could leverage to his advantage. He could change his own behaviour and effect change on the relationship dynamic, He has the power to do this. Y…
/r/TheRedPill21/01/17 03:11 PM
3

Jesus. It's a period, not a kidney transplant. Flowers? Are you kidding me? You want to create a precedent that you're going to be buying her flowers every 28 days until she's fifty (or whatever), and she gets to pull out a "you have to treat me extra special" card monthly too? I can smell the guilt seeping through your post as you describe how she's supportive of your early morning lifting (let me guess... if she made a bitchier face and made her displeasure known, you'd feel awful and change t…
/r/askMRP20/01/17 07:35 PM
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Inspiring story. I can relate to that first day pain! The first time I ever tried lifting seriously was 20 years ago. I was in good shape for cardio, but weak AF. I had an hour long weight training session with a PT and the pain over the next few days was so bad it basically led me to give up. I was so sore I couldn't reach my hand to forehead height to press buttons on the lab equipment the next day at work. Stupid me for not pushing through. Little did I know this was normal for "first use" of…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/17 05:45 PM
5

Absolutely a great story and Kate's character is a great study - how much is pure psychopath, versus how much is just unfettered female nature? The part where, as a young girl, she sets up the two boys for a whipping by claiming inappropriate behaviour, when in fact it was her idea to play "rough doctor", is timeless. Hell, the whole book is timeless. Probably read it a dozen times.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/17 05:11 PM
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Killing your ego and mediation go hand in hand, along with serious study of Zen. If this is actually a path you're interested in, pick up a copy of "The Mind Illuminated" by Culadasa for an actionable no-BS no new-age woo-woo guide to meditation. But be forewarned, it's a long long road. And as an aside, reread your first two paragraphs and ask yourself how your ego ties into that dramatic attention-seeking style of prose you adopted. Otherwise, good work on the specific, actionable weekly goals…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/17 03:36 AM
3

On the topic of covert contracts, it's interesting that you preface your "sex life" subsection with a description of the nice Christmas gift/date nite you gave her. Glimpse of the subconscious and all that. Still, at least you played it off OK when she said no afterwards.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/17 03:22 AM
1

A while back she used to suffer from Urinary Tract Infections when we’d have sex. No, a while ago she'd conveniently blame her lack of desire on a UTI. I’ve switched to shaving with a safety razor and got a wet shaving kit. I got sucked into the whole Art of Manliness thing about safety razors for a while too, and after several months of practice came to the conclusion that it's bullshit. Maybe it works OK for some guys, but not me. Went back to the high end (Fusion I think) cartridges. There's …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 04:38 PM
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I'm 6'1 at 215 and pull 425, so almost 2x BW, but working towards my next goal of 500. I go for a powerlifting style workout, so I take a leisurely 8-12 minutes to regain my breath between sets; YMMV if you have better cardio than me. Usually I lift beside the power racks, so I fill the recovery time with a couple weighted pullups and some band work/light dumbbells for rotator cuff - different muscles and not too taxing on my next set.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 10:55 PM
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I think a lot of the "it has to be low volume" mystique around deads is either from guys who lift 800 pounds and it actually kills them for a week after, or from guys who have shitty form and feel a tweak on the second rep. Volume and familiarity. I'll often train 3 sets of 10 at 75% followed by a burnout set, lie 15-20 reps at 50%. Couple weeks back I did 5 sets of 10 at 50% and felt gassed but the next day fine. Don't buy into the "at most 5 singles a week" bullshit - periodize and get some mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 10:39 PM
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This resonates with me (but with only one earlier marriage). My wife is Latina from a very traditional upbringing. She expects the man to be the man of the house, she calls out other women for doing stupid (read: western entitled feminist) stuff, and so on. But despite that, yeah, I know what you mean. There's a lot of stuff to deflect and to shut down to prove I deserve to be the man of the house.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/17 04:01 PM
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It sounds to me like you too need to get on the same page Yeah, in an ideal Disney Network primetime feelz-good movie that's what happens. But recognize it as a pipe dream. You may argue, logically present, wheedle and cajole her. And she may say, logically, that she wants XYZ. But then in the heat of the moment she will do either XYZ, the complete opposite, or something at a completely different angle. What you need to do is lay out your expectations (assuming they're reasonable, well thought o…
/r/askMRP13/01/17 04:25 PM
2

I have stuff I need to work through but being a whiny manipulative bitch isn't one of them. The ONLY way you can seriously unfuck yourself (which is the end goal here, not to unfuck the marriage) is to be 100% brutally honest with yourself. Check your ego at the door, and be willing to entertain the possibility that there are things about you that are true despite the fact you don't want to believe them. Just be open. The surest way to having things stay the way they always have been is to conti…
/r/askMRP13/01/17 03:03 PM
2

It's possible to be butt hurt and unhappy without it being the result of a covert contract. You're not getting the definition of a CC. The dinner thing was just her being uninterested in going to dinner with you. You wanted to go to dinner with her (which you said overtly, not covertly). And you felt hurt, which is normal until you develop more OI (outcome independence). For illustrative purposes, it would have been a CC had you done something earlier (like buy her flowers to make her happy, or …
/r/askMRP13/01/17 02:54 PM
1

Or do I attempt to set the boundary again? The thing is, you didn't actually set a boundary. You just said some words the first time, and there were no further consequences. The question is, do you defend the boundary? If not, there is no boundary and there never was.
/r/askMRP03/01/17 02:30 PM
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Others have mentioned this already, but it's important enough to reiterate. Your core problem isn't being socially awkward. It's the fact that you're constantly comparing yourself to others, that you let the opinions of others carry more weight in your head than they deserve, and that you have all sorts of insecurity and self-loathing poisoning your mindset everyday, that is the core problem here. Lacking some social skills just adds a little extra gravy to the meal. The good news is that all th…
/r/askMRP03/01/17 02:22 PM
3

Read and think hard about the new ideas. Start with the sidebar; make sure you read all the prerequisite books. Start slow, there's no turning things around overnight.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/16 07:20 PM
12

.... slow clap. I really don't know what I can add to this except to say... damn. This is exactly the message. Solid, solid, post.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/16 02:14 AM
7

Our great grandfathers bayonet charged machine guns. Meanwhile, these fathers are afraid of telling a few bitter feminists to shut the fuck up and go back to fisting their girlfriends in San Francisco. You have a way with words as well as a way of hitting the nail on the head conceptually. Nice piece.
/r/TheRedPill30/12/16 04:35 PM
3

It's a kind of psycho-social perfect storm over there. The message isn't well received because of context - as pointed out elsewhere, you can't pull off crazy glow stick sex in a ten-year toxic shithole of a marriage after spending an evening browsing the manosphere, [despite the fact that crazy glow-stick sex has a high probability of helping rather than hindering a marriage ONCE YOU GET TO THE POINT YOU CAN PULL IT OFF] social conditioning - anything smelling vaguely like TRP must be immediate…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/16 04:22 PM
1

Both of us were out of town for the week, and I missed her. Just because you miss your wife doesn't mean you're a BP faggot. It all depends on what other thoughts those feelings trigger and how you act on them ("my life is empty, devoid of meaning" versus "geez, it would be nice to have her in bed with me now for a little sexy time and a little pillow talk"). I am figuring out what my top 3 issues in frame are and finding practical books that can help me with the same. Some things you learn from…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/16 06:53 PM
1

I gave up redditing last month for TRP's "No-nothing November". It didn't really hurt at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/16 06:47 PM
2

OYS is the most raw, telling, and unforgiving forum to which one can post Amen. This sub is incredible for the advice given - pushing you to examine your own motives, call out the bullshit stories you tell yourself, and face up to the facts you've been trying to push under the rug. It really stood out to me when a guy here posted a few days ago looking for family advice, and he got shitloads of nuanced, thoughtful, but challenging responses. I saw he reposted his request for help to another reli…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/16 06:42 PM
1

I had pretty much the same concerns as /u/plein_old when I read your reply. As far as your parents calling her a gold-digger, it may be a cover for something else. Possibly the catholic thing, but they may also be uneasy with all the red flags, and not have a real name to put to the anxiety they feel after seeing them, so they invoke the "gold digger" label instead. Truth be told, in a lot of ways, many many marriages could be thought of on the surface as "gold digging" when the man makes more m…
/r/askMRP27/12/16 04:25 PM
3

Laser eyes are great. Glasses were such a pain in the ass. Driving, prescription sunglasses, sports, needing to keep a spare pair around, etc. A lot of social stuff you can still do for little or no cost in the interim - meetup dot com groups, join a beer league hockey team, etc. In a year or two once you save up another 2K then revisit the social club idea.
/r/askMRP25/12/16 10:39 PM
1

Your response makes good sense. I think we're arguing at cross purposes though - my point wasn't so much to say that enforcing a restriction is not possible, but rather to point out that there's a lot of BP thinking behind a carte-blanche statement like "a husband should share everything with his wife", or other statements derivable from that principle. In your specific case, it appears to be a well thought out and clearly defined interaction between the two of you, rather than the nagging and s…
/r/askMRP23/12/16 03:05 PM
2

It seems to me that your problems arise from not having established with your wife that you need to be able to trust her with sensitive information like this. This statement seems to be based on the premise that hubby ought to be sharing everything with wifey. That ain't necessarily the case. That's female-centric behaviour - in my experience, once you tell something to a woman, they all know it - it's like they all share the same brain. Guys don't need to be, in fact shouldn't want to be, any p…
/r/askMRP23/12/16 02:54 AM
1

The anger that has been flowing through me disturbs me The usual advice for the anger stage is to use that strong emotional presence to fuel your self-work - your lifting, your dedication to read, and so on. But keep that anger in check (and keep your mouth shut) when dealing with your woman, or you'll just make it harder on yourself down the line. how the fuck have I been this way my entire life and I didn't see it. Welcome to the desert of the real.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/16 05:10 PM
15

Sex will not come from logic (discussing finances or mortgage costs). Sex will not come from obligation ("I feel I deserve it for chores and taking care of daughter"). Sex will come from attraction to you. You have to become attractive in your behaviour to her. Right now you are trying to plead and argue your way into sex, which is NOT attractive at all. You are creating a "covert contract" - read the sidebar book "No More Mr Nice Guy" for more explanation.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 03:32 AM
12

Speaking from experience, it is entirely possible to leave a miserable marriage, and then actually find a woman who treats you well, respects you, and is interesting in pleasing you. The difference is in knowing what to look for, how to treat her, and how to live your own life instead of hers. Good luck my man. But then, they say luck favors the prepared mind...
/r/askMRP20/12/16 03:11 AM
6

moving on is kind of late since ... I get that. I was in a similar place too, once. But never let yourself get completely resigned to the situation or else you give up all the power you're trying to reconsolidate. There is pressure, sure, there are consequences, sure, if you were to leave. But if she thinks that option is 100% off the table and she has you unconditionally, you're going to be facing an uphill battle. I'm not saying you should leave her, I'm not saying that you should announce any…
/r/TheRedPill13/12/16 02:22 PM
29

It's win-win-win behaviour. You have a better chance to get what you want. You set your role as dominant and not the following lost puppy in the relationship. And with this particular interaction you set the tone of the relationship as more inherently sexual and frame yourself as a sexual being with needs and expecations that they get met. All of that is a plus. And on the flip side, assuming you're passing shit tests and not fucking things up otherwise, if she were the kind of girl to continual…
/r/TheRedPill13/12/16 02:01 PM
30

They live for the thrill of the emotional ride. They manufacture their own ride when they need a fix. Even bad drama is better than nothing. TL;DR: Chicks be like: "I love the smell of drama in the morning."
/r/TheRedPill13/12/16 01:49 PM
1

I have them in my bookmarks too. I like the program generator there - looks like a great resource to base a programming cycle around. But I really like the 3-D colorized muscle dude - I'm a sucker for visual presentation.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/16 01:03 AM
3

Take a look at Stephan Molyneux's youtube channel. He has a whole set of shows on single moms where he explains a pretty RP outlook on the topic. There was one (can't find it ATM) that he did in his call-in show, nearly bringing this one girl to tears as he explained in very logical and straightforward terms her situation in the cold hard light of the SMP. Also, Dangers of Dating a Single mom and Danger of Criticizing a Single Mom [a followup] were pretty epic IIRC. They're all long, but worth d…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/16 12:55 AM
2

I just told her about what she did, how it made me feel and how I don't appreciate that sort of behaviour from her. OK except for the "how it made me feel" part of it. She doesn't care about that part. She only cares about whether or not you have an enforceable boundary. Someone linked this gem the other day so it's fresh in my mind. My wife used to get amped up on one specific topic and make all kind of bullshit comments and allegations. Complaining about how insulted I was didn't help very muc…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/16 12:43 AM
2

The fact that the term "I use an overseas back [bank?] account" rolls so fluidly off your tongue suggests to me that she also would be able to smell a certain sense of financial security, despite the front you put on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/16 12:35 AM
1

This sounds a little slow. I suspect your weight may have something to do with it. You can't lift heavy weight without acquiring some muscle mass. You sound tiny even compared to a couple of the "small" guys I work out with - guy # 1 is 165 can dead 335 1RM and guy #2 is 172 can dead 385 1RM and is pretty new. Also, without digging into the programming, I suspect you want to be doing a lot more than straight 5x5's - something with a lot more periodization, including volume as well as heavy tripl…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 09:44 PM
1

This is a classic essay. Everytime someone links it on TRP or a blog, I take the time to re-read it in it's entirety. Always motivating. Still, it made me feel special. My father never really got that close to caring. A lot of truth about how men wind up where they are now in that line.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/16 03:33 PM
1

she seems to plan the whole weekend So what you're saying is, that she leads the planning, the weekends, and (so far) you just have no other choice but to go along with it? Who's leading here? Like I said, living in her frame. maybe I need to do some social stuff during the time she's doing things that I don't want to do with family, or don't need to be there Hmmm... deciding what you want to do, and then doing it? What a radical concept. Sounds like a great place to start.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 05:20 PM
1

Jeez, three people, one a victim, one a rescuer, one a persecutor... and they say there's nothing new under the sun...
/r/askMRP31/10/16 05:13 PM
6

OK, your wife sounds like a miserable person. But you sound like a drama whore yourself. Where to begin... I had left my house in mid-Aug due to her What you're saying with this phrasing is that she set the tone and you reacted. I tell her that she needs to cancel one and go along with the compromise I offer or I would be forced to leave. She refuses and I leave. Thereby demonstrating to her that she does, in fact, control your behaviour and that your decision tend to be reactive rather than pro…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 04:04 PM
2

you shout. "It's RIGHT THERE! It's your PERSONAL TIME". I literally LOLed at this sitting in my office. Cranking the asshole game up to eleven. Premium.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 03:29 PM
1

I think on one hand she means it, but aaand this is you, living in your wife's frame. Looking for the deep meaning behind her words, which are formed through her viewpoint, in her context, according to her judgment. Trust me, there's generally a lot less value for you as a self-determined individual in trying to eke out and retroactively rationalize the value judgments from your wife's bitching sessions or equivalently, her praises, than there is in something like, uh, well, pretty much anything…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 03:25 PM
2

She also mentioned that she feels like I have too much testosterone energy last night and it's a little intense. "Damn right, baby." Smirk. Alternate: "That's why you can't get enough of me hun". Same smirk. End of discussion. I can't believe that (a) you would care enough about such an obvious judgmental maniuplative condescending statement to actually pay any attention to the content of it, and (b) not automatically ignore it just for the sake of the fact that it's so judgmental, condescending…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 03:18 PM
1

When you lift light, doing 3x10 is a no-brainer. As you get to your maxes, your particular body condition causes your actual daily ability to change - sleep, food, coffee, attitude, fatigue from previous training all factor into your ability. It's just that most of that doesn't matter much until you start going a little heavier, a little harder. As far as plateaus go, your programming now is probably LP 'Linear Progression". When you start to reach your maxes and run out of newb gainz, you'll wa…
/r/askMRP26/10/16 09:17 PM
3

So I see a lot of very negative thinking in your post and your replies. Anti gym, anti-going out without your wife, anti-masculine, and "nothing works". Just recognize that what you believe, you will read into the world. And maybe, just maybe, with that attitude you'll be missing the essence of what some of the ideas here are. Everyone here i hammering on you for the gym thing, but I think you miss some of the background. I'm an educated guy, a father, some life experience. But truth be told, my…
/r/askMRP26/10/16 07:35 PM
1

will think of how something isn't right. Morpheus: "I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about? " The matrix analogy fits in so many ways...
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:48 PM
3

This is an excellent blueprint. I really wish I had the attitude I have now, and advice like this, back in the day. Just for laughs let me share. Your description of your situation in your first marriage is so much like mine was - she hid the key to the mailbox so I couldn't see all the overdue notices for bills coming in, she was spending us into the hole on total bullshit, and to top it all off, was stashing cash into a secret account "because she didn't feel secure in the marriage and wanted …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/16 01:14 PM
1

As far as your theory goes, it basically boils down to Women think that their feelings are facts--they're not. Yeah, this is something RP has been saying for a long time. Guys tend to view the world more solidly, more long term stability, in truth and absolutes, and it confuses a lot of guys how a woman says X one day then says not-X the next day. Guys often view this as flighty, as "lying", as intensely frustrating. The MRP take is to add the suffix "...right now" to anything a woman says. "I d…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/16 06:02 PM
1

Your happiness should be important to her Yeah, and I should win the next million dollar lottery draw. But, I guess it's nice to have a dream to get you through those long nights. your marriage as you've presented it here stinks like sweaty balls well put
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/16 04:38 PM
1

upper hand https://youtu.be/iQlIPOTbuH8?t=333
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/16 02:14 PM
4

First off, just let me say that "Lesbian Bed Death" would be a great name for a metal band. A couple things come to mind. First, I'd echo what /u/RPSigmaStigma mentioned about reading "Way of the Superior Man". It explains the masculine-feminine energy concept that u/bogeyd6 also touched on in a very thorough way. I'm not entirely surprised that NMMNG resonated with you. Not just because you're the more masculine energy in the relationship, but because it's a lot of basic psychology applicable t…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/16 01:51 PM
2

A CC for sure, creating those expectations in your head. You nobly put the financial needs of the family above your own happiness. Much adulation ensues. LOL. But look at it another way... what you've done is not just going back to the carpet store (hilarious scene btw), but actually worse. You've hitched yourself back into the very role we stereotypically despise - you turned yourself into a BB in order to take the responsibility for the financial mess that she (I'm guessing here it wasn't 100%…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/16 06:13 PM
3

If you go all Rambo in the first 3 months Yep... slow and steady wins the race.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/16 02:07 AM
2

"You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" So you let your wife play Tom Cruise to your Nicholson. Well, maybe a bad example, because your truth wasn't actually any kind of crime at all. Actually kind of a healthy and positive truth. When you're full of resentment, anger, or have spent days and weeks stewing on new concepts of self identity, you're more prone to coming out with these little gems. I would have just given her a little hug, a peck on the forehead, and a "of course I care abo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/16 04:08 PM
1

Holy smokes. Even though he's a new guy, and I think he messed up an opportunity (by escalating rather than creating some fun, comfort, or bonding), I see in OP's post about fifty to a hundred times the self awareness, understanding of relationship dynamics, and reflection on events as your contribution.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/16 04:00 PM
19

My wife, bless her, Yeah, bless her. Sainted virginal women can do no wrong. You're sitting here suffering from paranoia, lack of trust, pain, unsure of where to go with your life. But "bless her" she's a sweet'un. So step one is to drop those blinders from your eyes. She's not a unicorn, your soulmate, your one and only, your sainted virginal blessed one. She fucked some dude bareback and told you she was at walmart instead. Yeah, that's pretty sainted. There's a lot of good info in the sidebar…
/r/askMRP14/10/16 08:29 PM
1

There are a few pillars on which MRP and charitably, the wide scope of TRP, are based.They include personal development of your character: overcoming weaknesses, dependencies, bad habits of mind, etc recognition of the obvious: lifting, dressing well, etc will have positive effects on your life esp. with the ladies understanding female psychology and "game", becoming charming, interesting, playful, dominant The books help you address the first aspect. This will be an on-going process in your lif…
/r/askMRP14/10/16 07:29 PM
2

I think you did OK with the Sat night initiation thing. You told her flat out you weren't interested in jumping through hoops to get some, and made her come to you. As you improve, those hoops should get less onerous.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 06:46 PM
1

it's bringing the weight back down that feels all wrong. Least important part of the lift. Once you get to that 400 lb pull, setting it down gracefully will be the last thing on your mind. Just hinge your hips back as you dome down from the top, so your knees stay out of the way and don't get smashed by the descending bar. Then basically just hold onto it as it goes down on it's own. With a light weight, like 135, sure, you'll be tempted to finesse the descent. But watch a lot of deads on youtub…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 06:43 PM
12

If she didn't respect you when she fucked that guy, she sure as shit doesn't respect you now after you took her back. Under all the words she's spewing at OP, under all the tears that are coming from the rush of her confession, underneath all the drama... this is the truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 11:56 PM
3

First off, that sucks to hear. A shame you went through that. But...I don't hear any lessons, any questions, any takeaways from this post. Other than an angry man all fired up and hell-bent for leather. The forgiveness thing confuses me a little. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what the other person did was okay. It doesn't mean there were valid reasons for doing something shitty. It doesn't mean that they require your forgiveness to move on with their life in a better way. It's about YOU deciding…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 11:52 PM
9

In vino veritas. A lot of wisdom in that saying.
/r/TheRedPill06/10/16 04:00 PM
3

Had a little bit of fun with the wife the other night. She showed me a picture of some actress who was in a movie we just watched, and I made a "Hmmm..." raised voice kind of noise, like a "Oh yeah, I'd hit that" kind of noise. She got her back up about me checking out this chick, so I doubled down on the A&A and laughingly commented "Yeah, we can totally get her in for the threesome". Wife got bugged about that and was nagging me about it all night. Not a huge thing, but I could tell she was a …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 03:35 AM
2

Definitely want to say thanks for all the work Rollo that you've put into your writing over so many topics. After being exposed to some "light" manoshpere stuff and PUA a few years ago, The Rational Male was the one book that really laid out the whole story and tied things together for me. I'm now living in a marriage, and in a life, that's miles above where I expected to be. In large part thanks to the key mindset shifts I got from your work. Much respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 07:44 PM
1

Awesome post. I really like how it walks through the transitions between the different plans. Gonna refer back to this and reread a couple of times - a gold mine of information. Been lifting for almost two years and am always interested in learning more about the whys and hows of good programming. Thanks for this.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/16 11:03 PM
3

The sad thing is, that the very first set of replies to your original post, five months back, correctly nailed the scenario for you: she's checked out and has found her plan b, and is trying to use the open relationship to have her cake, your cake, and eat Chad's too. So now it's official. Those that have been through it, You've been together for a long time. You've probably still got some residual tenderness for her under those new feelings of betrayal and hurt. She will use that to her advanta…
/r/askMRP28/09/16 10:52 PM
1

"Well, they can't prove whose vomit it was. They don't have facilities at Scotland Yard. You can't really dust for vomit."
/r/askMRP28/09/16 10:37 PM
1

Thanks. After reading your comment I started to wonder if I wasn't just somehow self-sabotaging myself or setting myself up for failure by playing it so low-key. Got pissed at myself. Gave me lots of anger fuel for last night's gym session.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/16 12:12 PM
1

Check out this one, YT will probably auto-suggest loads more. And just for laughs, enjoy this husband-wife classic which made the rounds on TRP a year or two back. Was searching YT with something like "hysterical woman screaming".
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/16 12:08 PM
2

Good work on the birthday thing. Not only for killing the CC, but for making sure you met your own need for some fun on your birthday with your buds. Taking all my twisted beta fuckboy emotions and fueling my workouts with them. LOL. I like this line.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 06:39 PM
1

I'd go weeks holding it back and having a good time, then a month would be brutal. Thanks for sharing this. I remember when you posted originally about your wife in bootcamp, and was amazed (and impressed) at how quickly you seemed to bury it and present a "man up and carry on" face. Good to know you're human too - sometimes I judge myself too harshly for having bad days and the occasional emotional fuckup (see my OYS) when I read the almost universally John Wayne-style posts from many of the ol…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 04:37 PM
3

My wife told me she wanted the body of a stripper. But then she screamed when I showed her the one I keep in the basement.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 04:30 PM
1

A few things happened this week. Lifting Been working towards a 4 plate deadlift for over six months. It seemed like a wild stretch goal. Thinking, reading, planning, envisioning. But now it's so close I can taste it. Wanted to hit by Sept 30 but realistically it's gonna be late October. However, this week I realized that after chasing this goal for so long, that I have inadvertently pedestalized yet another meaningless thing. I can rack pull it for reps easy, so I've already lost the sense of "…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 04:19 PM
2

Quoting KITH: Scott: Ok. Well, I have this friend who's a surgeon.Well, he's not really a surgeon. He's more of an anarchist who's into industrial music, but he's a surgeon of some sorts and anyways...
/r/askMRP26/09/16 07:23 AM
1

To your first paragraph: OK, I can see that - same basic idea. The book we recommend on the sidebar, NMMNG, covers this idea in a lot of depth but from the perspective of the problems men typically face, so if you get interested and look at it, keep in mind that the basic psychology is still applicable to you just not in precisely the same examples. But what also strikes me about your commentary in this topic is your frequent tieing back of your thought and behaviour to other people's examples: …
/r/askMRP26/09/16 06:40 AM
5

So you're new and I suspect have a few misunderstandings. Things will become cleared the more reading you do here. Firstly, NMMNG isn't even a particularly red pill book, at least not on the scale of most things RP. It's just basic advice for fixing a lot of common internal problems men tend to have nowadays. It's a great starting point, though. So keep reading it. Secondly, IDGAF isn't really a behaviour. It's an internal attitude. Saying that you display it only is response to your anger says …
/r/askMRP26/09/16 02:09 AM
1

I don't actively seek "broken" people A subtlety. You said you had been to counselling. So I'm sure you're familar with the idea that not everything we do, we do because it's a conscious rationally well-thought out plan. There's a lot of unconscious stuff that we do based on years of programming and self-reinforcing beliefs we latch on to, and a lot of times these beliefs are just things we chose to grasp onto when we were kids or teens. We tend not to examine these beliefs or the patterns they …
/r/askMRP26/09/16 01:31 AM
1

A couple really insightful comments others have posted, namely that you're a fixer (which is a problem in itself, not a virtue - read more on the male "captain save-a-ho" syndrome or even some pop psych websites for explanation of "rescuers" if this isn't clear to you: hint: develops a sense of external validation and is ultimately a futile thus disappointing endeavour). Also that if you're supporting this guys dreams and giving him so much sex that he's physically begging off because his dick h…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 10:17 PM
1

HB = hot babe (or bot blonde, perhaps, if that's your thing).
/r/askMRP25/09/16 10:06 PM
5

Me being cognizant of the cause and effect allows us to have a good relationship but I am legit fucked up. No, what allows you to have a "good" relationship is that your "issues" mirror her "issues" in a lock and key pattern of some shape or another. Karpman drama triangle or some other relationship psych pattern. I do my best but I dislike the guy in the mirror for a variety of reasons. ... Aaaand we come to the root of the problem. You keep throwing out this "I'm a faggot" "fucking retard" stu…
/r/askMRP24/09/16 02:24 AM
3

Basically, do what you like. If what you like includes doing stuff that your wife specifically enjoys, like going down on her, that's fine. The thing to avoid is the mindset that says stuff like "I HAVE to do this because she expects it" or "I 'm not allowed to cum first or she'll be annoyed" - get rid of those obligations and expectations and just enjoy. In the very beginning, you might want to just enjoy what you're getting. But as things go on and you find your voice and are comfortable using…
/r/askMRP24/09/16 02:06 AM
58

There was a quote going around a while back something like: "I read that 25% of American women are on on medication for mental problems. I mean, that's terrifying! That means the other 75% are walking around untreated!"
/r/TheRedPill23/09/16 03:25 PM
2

Way back when I started getting my act together, I kept a journal (a couple of notebooks, actually). Yeah, it was therapeutic and all that shit, but I also now realize I kept them around for a long time because they were my feelz, and my feelz meant something important, and should be preserved. LOL. I found them a couple years ago and shredded the lot. Absolute whiny crap and victimy victiming. We all go through phases in the journey. Sometimes you're so busy paddling that you don't realize you'…
/r/askMRP22/09/16 04:54 PM
3

Anger causes you to do things you would not rationally do otherwise. Watch out for that.
/r/askMRP22/09/16 04:49 PM
0

If she really was that much higher SMV, she probably married you with a very fem-primarynarcissitic view of what the marriage would be like. Her statements "I just wanted you to care for my emotions." and " I am becoming a zombie and can't function when I sulk " are both so typically female (all about ME, all about FEELZ) and so typically unhealthy (YOU are responsible for how I feel!) it's almost textbook. So now you're changing and she doesn't understand. If she really does add significant val…
/r/askMRP22/09/16 02:18 PM
3

just supper and bitterness. "What's in a name? That which we call a date night By any other name would smell as sweet"
/r/askMRP21/09/16 07:11 PM
3

Sounds like you will fit right in. Your story is not unlike 90% of guys on here I'm guessing. Two things to keep in mind: (1) Don't go too hard, too fast. Slow changes, steady wins the race. (2) You're doing this to make YOUR life better, not to make your wife like you better. Don't start thinking she owes you anything (like respect, sex, or kind words) for your new efforts or orientation. In fact, expect her to push back. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Now hit the gym…
/r/askMRP19/09/16 06:54 PM
2

Who have you helped unplug and what were the results? Half-unplug. I explained a lot of stuff about female psychology, a man's intrinsic worth, being a leader, the total reversal of male-female dominance in modern relationships due to rabid feminism, and so on to a buddy at work going through a divorce. But didn't call anything by name and did not point him at books in particular. He was a little connfused as to what I was talking about at first, and how I could hold such rabidly unpopular opini…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/16 02:49 PM
1

If you're not using chalk for deads, try it out and gain some instant grip. I found doing lots of deadlift volume helped, also try holding the bar at the top a little longer for some extra work. Also, any other heavy pulling with the same grip was good (e.g. heavy cable rows for reps with the v-bar handle on back day). Programming-wise, the weightroom sub has a sidebar with lots of advanced programs and good ideas well beyond the SS/SL5x5 range.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 01:35 AM
0

LOL on the foot rubs, love notes, and choreplay. Mental image of that old Dolly Parton movie where the fed-up secretary kidnaps her boss and ties him up in leather attached to a garage door opener. She expects you to live like that, and she'll let you off the chain every now and then for good behaviour. My take on this is the same as Archwinger - you see (in hindsight, at the time/// doesn't matter now) what the mistakes are but you just can't help yourself. which tells me I'm not yet attractive…
/r/askMRP16/09/16 04:23 PM
2

Don't be too hard on yourself. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. Reflect, then chalk this one up as a lesson learned.
/r/askMRP16/09/16 03:54 PM
2

This time it was "can you go plug in my tablet?" and I responded with "no but I've got something else I want to plug in". This literally prompted a half-week's silent treatment leading up to the discussion about how I'm degrading and gross. I accepted that and apologized for the implication - Good response (from the right guy, I'm guessing you're not yet him). And then you go on to admit that SHE gets to decide for you that you're degrading and gross, and apologize for that. Because, you know, b…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/16 07:14 PM
1

What do people think? I'm open to the idea that I'm doing this wrong. Gaak. Open communication. That's one of the big points that MRP differs from the literal advice in NMMNG. Glover even recommends sharing the book with your wife IIRC. I would not advise sharing. If she sees the book and asks you about it, go ahead and say "yeah I've been reading it" but don't go out of your way to involve your wife in a "couples-counselling" kind of way. The big danger of the "open communication" thing is that…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/16 07:07 PM
2

A lot of your post resonates with me, but maybe 10 years back. Re-evaluating what I actually wanted and was getting out of my life and relationship, having those conversations and saying the shit that you've been too afraid to for years and years. That being said, what strikes me the most is the juxtapostiion of your divorce plans/possibility with this statement: I'm continuing to work through NMMNG for the second time. The bits about hiding my toxic shame and becoming what I think others want m…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/16 06:52 PM
2

her student loans Maybe you get lucky, maybe you don't. Like the old joke "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/16 06:38 PM
2

one of those nights she really will go out in her slut dress and she really will fuck the first guy who gives her positive attention. Then she'll use the rage and insecurity to twist the reality of the world a little further.. but also resentment because YOU being an asshole made her do this And the ragefest will escalate. Then in a month or two we'll read the final post, the one where she attacks him with scissors, or shatters glass in his face, or pushes him down the stairs, or starts throwing…
/r/askMRP10/09/16 02:18 PM
1

and I learned it well in my family. LOL. Oh yeah. Family - the gift that keeps on giving.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 07:45 PM
1

My gut says cut or you'll just hamster up more excuses in January. Ultimately lifting is for making you feel good, I know some guys like just being strong, but if you let that muscle show through a lean skin layer (15% bf or less - look up bodyfat photo charts online), you'll feel pretty damn good.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 07:41 PM
2

and I get to feel like the victim. it sounds pretty shitty, Shitty, yes. But it's actually a pretty common pattern. And if you're willing to admit this out loud (and more importantly, to yourself), then I have a lot of hope for you. You'll get a lot out of NMMNG. Being a victim plays a big role in the Karpman Drama Triangle. While the exact pattern may or may not apply to all your specifics, what you should take away from it is that as long as the behaviour of the people involved doesn't change,…
/r/askMRP09/09/16 05:23 PM
2

My brother and I would lay in the mud for fucking HOURS pretending we were Navy SEAL snipers and would inch by inch creep up on my house. [...] Kids these days I can see where this is going. House? You were lucky to live in a house!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/16 05:01 PM
1

So, you met you wife when you were twenty five, and in the peak of your bodybuilding shape and full of self confidence from hitting the gym. This is what typically attracts women. The classic MRP story is of a guy who then loses all of that: beer gut, unhappy unconfident deer in the headlights when the wife gets in the bitch zone. Your gym plan is good - you need to cut a lot. Emphasize that.. Like, seriously, 280 is a lot. If you can DL 365x4, that's cool, but keep in mind that I can pull that …
/r/askMRP09/09/16 04:51 PM
1

She's physically assaulted you and you're wasting time linking articles about sinus irritation? Priorities, man. Not having a sense of what's important is what led you here in the first place.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 04:43 PM
1

Based on your other comments, you seem open to ideas, so I'll reply. Identifying your trauma may or may not be useful. I was saying that, on general principles, a self-actualized, mentally healthy man does not wind up in the place you've described. Hence the likely trauma. However, what matters is the now. Trauma may have got you here, and therapy or something might help unravel it, but looking at the false beliefs you hold right now and how to fix them right now is what's going to get you to a …
/r/askMRP09/09/16 04:39 PM
1

Eeyore, but with a giant pokemon collection. Although I'm not certain whether pokemons actually can be collected... are they some kind of action figures, or stuffies, or virtual items.... ahh fuck it, I don't really care enough to find out.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 01:10 PM
2

I'm wondering what kind of emotional trauma OP carries, that he thinks enduring all of this is worth occasional access to some broad's cunt. And (just caught this from his post history), if OP spends even 1/100th of the time improving his own mind that he spends posting about fucking pokemon to the internet, I think it would pay off big time. Emotionally stunted man-child hypothesis: confirrmed. They sound perfect for each other.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 12:05 PM
1

If you make the woman your world, then you need to look for a world of qualities in her "to complete you (aww...)", and woe to you if she ever decides to dial them back.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 03:14 PM
4

This is actually a pretty big realization. Congrats. One thing that kicked me in the teeth when I started my journey of self improvement, is that just because I believed something didn't make it true. In all areas of life. I mean, I knew this abstractly from stuff like math, where you think you know the right method to solve an equation, but then you realize you were wrong, that's fine. But when you have, for example, the kind of childhood that ingrains you with an almost unconscious but deeply …
/r/askMRP08/09/16 03:07 PM
1

What I really want is to leave this city. Wanting stuff is fine. But make sure you're not looking for an external "fix" for issues that are ultimately still going to be sitting there in your head in a new city unless you get past this codependent/clingy/oneitis stuff.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:53 PM
3

A lot of the MRP stuff is geared towards understanding a (different) model of female behaviour, sure. But a lot of the other info is geared towards undoing a lot of the other destructive patterns that couples tend to fall into over the years in the environment of overly feminisaton of both parties: bodies unattractively going to pot, not keeping the relationship talk light, sexual, and flirty all the time, avoiding being a supplicating passive little bitch, breaking pattenrs of codependency, bre…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:52 PM
2

They don't realize that a simple blackout will prevent basic communication (yes some cell towers have backup power, but that will run out, and people won't be able to charge their phones), the water pumps will die and tap water will become undrinkable before it stops flowing altogether; the gas pumps will stop working. Yep. I live in a major metroplitan area. The 2003 northeast electrical blackout was an eye-opener for me. Within about 8 hours most of the cell towers were dead, gas pumps failed/…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/16 04:55 PM
1

Wow. Clairvoyant across the Interweb are we ? I know, right? It was a little harder back when I was on 14.4k dialup, but this broadband with unlimited downloads is incredible. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 01:47 AM
1

Shit tests are my weakness, not because I'm insecure, because I handle them wrong. Then followed up with this little flash of insight. I would have been defensive. Case in point. Beautifully illustrated. While a lot of stuff you say in this post and in the comments sounds OK, you still have this fucking ego the size of a house. Any threat to it's sense of self-perfection will be met with instant defense. It must be exhausting. From another comment... "If she treats me well, I won't leave" is an …
/r/askMRP07/09/16 12:55 AM
2

Seriously? I wasted an hour and a half listening to this shit in the car, trying to suspend my disbelief (right through my cell data cap, no less) but had to give it up when he started going on about "Yummy Gnochi" or some crap who are nine foot tall aliens from whom the human race is descended. I mean, I'm as interested in an analysis of the toxicity of neofeminism as anyone here, but come on, TRP can do better than this.
/r/TheRedPill03/09/16 02:39 AM
3

So sorry to hear about your son. My first impression of this is that the new girl was a rebound relationship, a quick reaction to your breakup. The fact that you didn't take any time to mellow, live your own way, and reflect, after your breakup and divorce, suggests that you jumped the gun waay before you were ready. A rebound relationship can be fun, but usually is temporary, since you usually don;t wind up with the right girl at the time. There are probably going to be some "issues" in your mi…
/r/askMRP01/09/16 06:59 PM
1

There's AWALT and then there's just unfixable fucking crazy. I'm calling option 2 here.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 07:51 PM
2

I have long used the anger to protect my boundaries But I hope you can see that's not healthy, and is ultimately self-defeating. Constant anger is usually the result of feeling hurt or a threat to your ego (weak frame). And acting it out only serves to reinforce the idea that you have no actual way to enforce your boundaries, and instead of portraying yourself as a person with options, strength, and real power, you convey yourself as someone who has no recourse other than to try to manipulate ot…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 01:35 PM
28

She would say things that were meant to be compliments, and it would feel like she was just saying things to get me to return the feelings she was trying to send my way Now you know how women feel when betas do that shit to them. Take it as a lesson.
/r/TheRedPill30/08/16 06:39 PM
2

Solid post. Sounds like you have a handle on what you need to do. The incongruency thing - that will come with time. Much as you like to think you can flip your thought patterns around in a week, you generally can't. But as you achieve more in your life, you'll start to believe.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/16 12:58 PM
3

About the accuracy of the calorie app: the absolute accuracy doesn't actually matter that much. As long as you adjust your intake against your progress and up the intake if you're not gaining. Even if the app is off by 100% (counts calories double for example), once you find a number at which you gain at the rate you want, just keep targetting that number. Doesn't really matter whether the number is a scientifically calibrated 3000 calories or an over-approximated 6000, as long as the app genera…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/16 12:30 PM
1

I re-watched The Godfather the other day. What really struck me was Michael Corleone stepping up to the plate after his father was incapacitated, and the cool and rational way he handled his business. The whole film has lots of behavioural lessons from both Michael and his father. Here's a great example of how well Michael holds frame. He's just had his sister's husband killed (he was a wife-beater, a low-life, and a traitor), and his sister comes to confront him, then his wife grills him about …
/r/askMRP29/08/16 03:52 PM
8

Good catch. My bad. Ironically, however, that little Reading comprehension ? quip only serves to reinforce the overall point I'm making, and to cement my opinion of you as a guy I definitely wouldn't want to bond over a beer with. Good luck digging yourself out of the hole.
/r/askMRP29/08/16 01:06 PM
1

Your ego is a throbbing, veiny, purple beast This right here.
/r/askMRP29/08/16 12:48 PM
5

Not gonna comment on the camping thing. But I'm gonna point out to you, OP, why so many guys are calling "weak frame" and "ego" on you. Nowhere in your post or in any of your replies in these 24 comments (so far) have you admitted to a suboptimal action. Nowhere have you written "I know I made a mistake when I did XYZ" or "Yeah, XYZ wasn't the best response and probably made things worse but I felt stuck at the time" or anything long those lines. And as soon as the guys tell you about why any of…
/r/askMRP29/08/16 12:45 PM
0

By the transitive property of equality, therefore, it's also Men's Equality Day. Take that, bitches.
/r/TheRedPill27/08/16 03:28 PM
7

Good. You figured out something. Like a few other posters said, give "No More Mr Nice Guy" a read if you want some more perspective on this. Now that I said that... forget all of it. That's the past. All you have is the now, do what you need to do in the now, without lingering, hanging on, reflecting, and contemplating over the past. You took away a lesson, now go forth and live your life to the fullest.
/r/TheRedPill27/08/16 03:27 PM
7

Big mistakes: going "Red Pill Rambo", sudden 180 degree change is personality, laying down the law, talking back about every little thing etc talking about your changes "babe you're going to see a whole new me", etc. STFU in the beginning overthinking it - getting stuck because every little thing reminds you of a post you read and now you;re not sure if you;re doing the right thing Re the one month per year: if you've bee a beta loser in your marriage for 10 years, take ten months to SLOWLY and …
/r/askMRP27/08/16 03:12 PM
1

Your post is scattered but I think you have three main topics: the interaction with the wife and the hot girls your concern with the socio-politics of gender identity and the impact of the twenty-first century cultural milieu on your past relationship behaviour and your concern for it's future you're worried about how to behave with some gay family BP members As far as feedback: /u/Scurvemuch nailed (1) in his comment. (2) is done, past, dead, buried. Meh. Who cares. As far as (3), you do you. W…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 10:16 PM
1

Fair enough. You touched on something in another comment I feel like maybe what I'm reading is that TRP makes people pair up who are probably not very compatible? that may explain something. It's not TRP that makes that happen. It's a natural process that when one person has, for want of a better word, "issues", they tend to attract someone with complementary issues. One of the TRP stereotypes is a girl with insecurity looking for a daddy figure, and the TRP "daddy figure" tends to be more of an…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 10:06 PM
1

Wait, that's a gay thing? Shit, and to think that was my favorite gym shirt.
/r/askMRP26/08/16 09:01 PM
1

The problem I am having is that I'm too harsh with her. I don't really like displays of affection Have you considered that maybe you're just an unlikeable asshole? I mean, TRP talks a lot about being an asshole but that's meant in a playful way, as woman's response to her man teasing her and not taking nonsense. But if you don't even want to be affectionate with a woman who you describe as LTR/marriage material... why the fuck are you even in an LTR? And if you're not only unlikeable, unaffectio…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 08:53 PM
3

For the love of god, please do not force your son into doing shit. Do not push him, pull him. Give him opportunities to get interested in something, don't just fucking beat on his door and say "get your gym clothes on, we're working out whether you like it or not" because that's bullshit and will actively make him not want to work out on his own. I know, because that was me. Came here to write exactly the same thing. This, OP.
/r/askMRP26/08/16 08:48 PM
2

It also needs to be congruent with who you are. My dad once tried to get me to box, buying a set of gloves and a "here, now we're going to teach you to take care of yourself" attitude. This from a guy who ridiculed most sports, and discouraged any kind of physical training. (Heck, even 30 years later, he's making cracks about how people who go to the gym are just going to be worse off in their old age... sheesh). Those "boxing lessons" occurred exactly once, and were kind of a highlight of my ch…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 08:44 PM
1

Right now you're on the fence. You need to pick a side. One half of you is reading TRP/MRP and saying things like these: I like giving less fucks more and more. There is no issue with em weathering the storm. I do it for myself. This is the attitude you should be trying to build. But then the other half of you is living in complete fear of her reactions: The problem is that she just always seems to find something I screwed up [ here you are allowing her to judge you ] I probably should have just…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 02:59 PM
1

Now we have our arses wiped and everything we need to survive is given to us. "Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is." - Dwight K. Schrute
/r/askMRP26/08/16 02:37 PM
1

I noticed she also looked up some workout at home routines (Jillian Michaels I think). Yeah, so what? This isn't a tit-for-tat thing. Her looking at her own fitness should have NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to do with your decision to hit the gym for a good workout. Are you thinking that it's therefore OK for you to go since she's interested? Are you thinking that you shouldn't go, because she decided to lookup videos but didn't do the workout herself and that makes you not want to rub it in? Are …
/r/askMRP25/08/16 03:20 PM
4

This "identity" of yours, this Woody Allen-esque insecure faggotry, is nothing more than habit. There's nothing intrinsic to your nature that makes you insecure - it's just habit and conditioning. Your mind and your habits can grow, change, and expand. When you started lifting, just because you were only curling tiny dumbbells, did you tell yourself you were a fraud in the gym, that you shouldn't even be there, that everyone else was going to know you'd never be strong? Hell no, you knew it was …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/16 01:23 PM
3

45 Don't get too hung up on this "being old and out of shape" shit. I'm a few years older than you, have only been lifting for a year and a half, and am just a smidge away from a pulling a 4-plate (405 lb) deadlift. I never woulda believed it either but there it is. In the beginning, bodyweight appealed to me, too, for a lot of intellectual and aesthetic reasons, but when I actually started lifting iron the muscles, and strength, really started to pack on. STFU is a great thing. At least, genera…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/16 01:16 PM
4

Regarding the ex, think on Rollo's Rooting Through Garbage piece. As far as bench, once you fix your setup problems as the other guys recommend, make sure your back strength is keeping up to your press. Eg if you can press your bodyweight + 25lbs, you should be able to do a 25 lb weighted pullup (total force = bodyweight+25).
/r/askMRP18/08/16 01:57 PM
2

I hear "The Post Previously Known as Stickied" has a new compilation coming out.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 11:29 PM
1

This right here is one of your key danger areas. Be very careful - don't promise anything, don't give in until, like stone and turbo said, you figure out where you want to drive this relationship. Your three responses all suck. (1) I don't understand (poor phrasing?), 2 and 3 will only start a fight and load another wet blanket on your relationship. 2 has some potential insasmuch as it drops a truth bomb, but will likely just hasten a conversation that you might not be ready for yet. I can't eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 06:09 PM
1

Interesting. I recognized the username /u/sadbeary from MRP. He stood up for himself and pointed out the obvious, so good for him. Although I suspect it may well come across to his wife as a threat, as opposed to providing her with a blinding revelation which resets the direction of their relationship and her view of him. This sounds all too much like the interactions I had at end of my ex-marriage, which is partly why I'm not as optimistic as some over on DB. But it's refreshing to see that the…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/16 06:31 PM
4

Edit: thought this was from OP, but see it ain't. Letting it stand as a message to /u/COfirefighterUSAF , though. I know you don't especially want to GTFO. It feels like you'd be letting her down, or making yourself look bad in the eyes of your and her family, or that's what you're "supposed" to be doing at this point in your life, or some other compelling reason in your mind. And you'll do whatever you want to do anyway. Like Mark Twain (I think) said - good decisions come from experience, and …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/16 03:36 PM
1

Will this family dynamic change over the years as I improve and kill my ego? You are only a small part of the dynamic. You can only change you - they may, or they may not, react to that. You mention a lot about control via guilt in your original post, and a lot about judgment in your replies. Both of these suggest that you haven't internalized (or perhaps even read) WISNIFG. There's a huuuge between asserting your position from a place of strength, and going Rambo. Going Rambo, ironically enough…
/r/askMRP16/08/16 03:11 PM
3

If the fact that she had lunch with someone she works with upsets you this much, you're not in a solid enough place in your own mind to be anywhere close to ultimatum-ready.
/r/askMRP16/08/16 03:05 PM
2

so I am beginning to think was this my wife and mother trying to convince me to lower my looks to match my wife? LOL. You have a lot to learn about women. Hell, if this surprises you, you have a lot to learn about people in general. Open your eyes - of course they were shit testing you. A women doesn't want to see her position as the "hot one" challenged. There's a beautiful and acerbic analysis of this phenomenon in the Broscience Life video about the Dad Bod. Listen to the cynical shit he says…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/16 02:59 PM
4

I almost never read in DB. But wow, that was actually a decent set of responses from them. I wonder if there are secret merpers posting, or if the DB crowd is just so disillusioned that they piled onto the "don't get married" bandwagon out of their own bitter and jaded worldview now.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/16 02:49 PM
2

My parents split when I was in high school. Stay the fuck out of it. Firstly - you said you don't want to be in the middle of it. Smart call - respect yourself. Secondly - you don't want to spend the rest of your life trying to unsee the dirty laundry that they'll want to air in front of you if you get involved. Thirdly, if you wind up in the middle of it, you're going to get manipulated from each side and wind up with lingering resentment towards one or both. Yeah, it sucks. But it's not yours …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/16 12:11 AM
1

Thanks for the update. Sounds like you're finding the courage to finally speak your mind. One thing I'd add, is that despite getting all of the advice and recommendations here, there's no need to nuke the whole relationship over the next 24 hours. You can take the time you need to digest, come up with a plan of attack, and decide what your boundaries and limits are. And good on you with the therapy, too. Keep in mind that not all therapists are equal, find someone who you seem to connect with, w…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 07:41 PM
5

I can understand the guy being some combination of frustrated, embarrased, hopeless, and depressed at his current situation, as well as possibly being frightened at the treatment itself. Fear of the unknown, plus depression, can be paralysing. That being said, unless he has some wierd religious conviction (like JWs), not getting treated just sounds like a dumb move. My thought was exactly the same as /u/sexyshoulderdevil - go ahead, book the appt, schedule something. If she believes he may actua…
/r/askMRP12/08/16 07:05 PM
2

I get a sense that you're overthinking things and gauging things more by your wife's behaviour and what you need to do to respond to it, than that you're actually driving your own life yet. This is OK, in the early stages, since you'll be reading so much advice and stuff here that you'll see ten levels of indirection and side effects in any possible response to an interaction. This can cause you to come across as too much the asshole/indifferent/unpredicatble and not as the fun/playfully irritat…
/r/askMRP12/08/16 03:02 PM
3

Another thing to keep in mind that may help mitigate the anger. You might be feeling a lot of anger directed towards your wife. We have a saying - AWALT - all women are like that. Doesn't mean that all women are evil cunts, but rather, that they pretty much have the same innate desire (for a secure provider to raise children with - a biological imperative), and they pretty much grow up in the same social milieu - one in which women are the "valued" and "chased" and one in which men are the pursu…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 02:44 PM
3

I feel like I'm seething with anger right now Ahh, the ole anger phase. Happens to pretty much everybody. It's a phase, it will pass once you start switching from a "I've been lied to and lost so much opportunity" frame of mind to a "this is my life and I'm driving it just fine, thank you very much" fame of mind. Take the anger out of the weights in the gym, try not to bring it home. A guy simmering with lingering resentment isn't going to build attraction or respect either.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 01:49 PM
5

Mourning has to be a stage, not a long-term state of life. Otherwise they have a different word for it - depression. At some point, you're going to have to wake up and realize the past is gone, done, and buried. Otherwise it's a mental cycle you get into - romanticizing the fact that you feel down, revisiting that feeling periodically to keep the flame lit and perpetuate the feeling, get the emotional hit from feeling all sad and bad, then lather, rinse, repeat. All you have is the now, and the …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 01:26 PM
1

The hardest part is going to be telling her no kids and no house, Most of the problems you will face have been discussed many,many times by guys here on MRP. Googling using a site-specific search string like "tell her no kids site:reddit.com/r/marriedredpill" (don't enter the quotes) can bring up some useful ideas. Also some good stuff on the AskMRP sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 01:17 PM
4

BP Blue PIll. Just in case you haven't heard of TRP and MRP before... let me give you some background and advice. I'm spelling this out because it's genuinely exciting to see a guy discovering this stuff, and watch those "holy shit, I never looked at it that way" moments in your replies. Red Pill/Blue pill is from the movie "The Matrix". Protagonist Neo takes a literal red pill to discover the truth about the society he's been falsely living in, after rejecting the offer of a blue pill which wil…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:47 AM
0

what's SMV Explained in this classic blog post from Rollo.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:26 AM
0

Tell her that you need sex for emotional connection You might be able to negotiate for sex, but you can't negotiate desire. More Rollo for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:20 AM
0

Mmslp isn't a great book Is that an autocorrect fail?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 06:53 PM
9

Your list of obsolescent items smells a lot like you're not just seeing your value increase, but almost like you're actively cutting her out and trying to go it all alone. Enjoy her fashion sense when she looks good. Let her do some child-rearing, cleaning, cooking. Just because you don;t need her to do all this stuff doesn't mean you can't let her/delegate. My wife brings fun, good conversation, she's a good housekeeper, she's enjoyable to be around and hang out with. And even though I don't ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 06:51 PM
3

Also: https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/ This is the one /u/[deleted] mentioned
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 06:44 PM
26

A couple obvious things: a man doesn't make or wait for his wife initiate. that's YOUR job don't go looking for "ladies of reddit" to solve your problem. you got into this mess in the first place by listening to the message of the feminine imperative "is that a thing, settling for the safe bet?" that's pretty much one of the core underpinnings of the alpha/beta dichotomy and female mating strategy knowledge base that underlies all of red pill understanding do NOT have kids until you get a handle…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 06:37 PM
5

At a meta-level, it's interesting to see you, as a self-proclaimed newb, being so blatantly uncomfortable with the idea of "reward/punish" because you're afraid of damaging or upsetting your special little snowflake. Not pointing this out shit on you, rather to highlight to you that you are exactly the kind of guy who needs to work through NMMNG. As far as the question itself goes, think of child-rearing. Sure, there's a chance your kid could grow up thinking "I'm only lovable when I don't run i…
/r/askMRP11/08/16 03:52 PM
1

That's an interesting question. Ignoring the legal, social, moral (whatever the hell that even means) aspects, and just asking how are things day-to-day? In a horrible marriage to a badly-behaved woman, monogamy seems like a stupid choice. But in a good marriage to a much different kind of woman, it doesn't seem that bad. I mean, sure, like any other dude with normal testosterone levels, the thought of banging a harem of hot 25 year olds has a certain appeal to it. And of course, you get that "h…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 10:25 PM
2

He probably bills OHIP 400 bucks a pop for those hints... smart fella, that one.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:07 PM
3

Let me break it down a little more then. To be effective, MRP requires two basic universal self-realizations in addition to understanding the whole knowledge base about male-female dynamics and sexual strategy: You are the problem. Or at least a big chunk of the problem. The only thing you can fix/control/change directly is you. A lot of the guys who hang here can smell people who haven't accepted these truths a mile away. You're getting flak because a great deal of your post and responses focus…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:05 PM
2

Sure, the trap exists - doesn't mean everyone falls into it. If you frame your MAP in such as way that you measure your success by your wife's (or anyone else's) approval, you're setting yourself up for the same fall you've always taken. Lucy still has the option to pull the football away at the last second. Plus, you haven't learned a damn thing because you're doing it for her, not for you. Just do it for you. And see what happens.
/r/askMRP10/08/16 04:53 PM
4

I think there's a limit to this logic and OP's wife's childhood sexual trauma is past that limit. Yep. Nail on the head here.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:41 PM
3

Suicide threats are a hard no-negotiaton line in my book. She sounds serious? Call 9-1-1, get her to to the ER, whatever. Been there, and it's a totally different game than just MRP-style improving yourself. Trust me, you need to take that option off the table either by calling her bluff, getting her into a psych ward on a 72-hour hold, getting her into proper therapy, or leaving the marriage. You need to show HER that you won't be bullied by those threats. And you need to show YOURSELF the same…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:39 PM
1

Check out Rollo's blog here.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:20 PM
1

I was sitting here scratching my head, asking"what was so dreadful about that?". Then I got it. Jeez. Whoosh. But great post. Loved the line about the truck. Definitely asshole class!
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/16 08:28 PM
6

The other guys all have good points. But as soon as I read "she's starting to sway from the alcohol" I tuned out. You cannot really game, interpret, respond, flirt properly, or what have you with someone who's getting that wasted. The regular rules of stimulus and response go right out the window. There's no frame like that of a drunk who is convinced he/she is right - you can say the all perfect things and still wind up with a belligerent imbecile for the rest of the night.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/16 11:15 PM
2

I don't care about making her /happy/ at this point, I'm trying to figure out what is /right/, balancing rewarding bad behavior with being a dick. Are you 100% sure about he first part? The tone of your post suggests that it's not just your wife who sees you as low value. You still talk of yourself as being only slightly more self-aware than a babysitter who needs to oblige his wife with gifts - it sounds like you want to dial the size of the gifts back (because you're "RP" now) but still make h…
/r/askMRP05/08/16 08:06 PM
1

Read the dialogue about the bear at the end of this recent Dalrock post. Might not qualify as exactly A&A, but a great example of lighthearted banter from a guy who gets it.
/r/askMRP05/08/16 07:47 PM
2

I've been watching your progress reports for a while, and one of your posts from quite a while ago (can't find it now, you have too many comments to scan through!) really convinced me that your wife was intrinsically not a very feminine woman. Something to do with her wearing manly/unfeminine clothes, and being comfortable with you because of your scientific background, and a few other "tells". Maybe I'm out to lunch on that, but it stuck with me. When you write about how she's unresponsive to y…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 07:18 PM
5

"If a man speak in a forest when there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?" Your problem is that you're allowing her to pass judgment on you. You answer to you, not to your wife. Read WISNIFG - a lot of good stuff on that topic in the book. Once you stop caring so much about what she thinks of you, it will get a lot easier.
/r/askMRP03/08/16 10:09 PM
6

You told her "married women go on vacation with family". You'll hear a lot of stuff in the manospere to this extent (vacations and GNO's), primarily because that's the primary "opportunity to misbehave secretly without consequences". But when your wife is living in a city six hours away, that's closing the barn door after the horse is already gone, doncha think? Hell, more like closing a little inconsequential window in the barn. The shitting on LDR's here is motivated by similar things, but it …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 10:05 PM
2

I want to love her the way she loves me. Ok, step 1: insult her and blame her for your dissatisfaction during sex. Feel better now? Maybe you should pick a different goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 09:37 PM
1

Our arguments are fairly formulaic. I.e. she pushes all your buttons and you react impulsively. She sucks you into her frame to construct drama for herself and to antagonize you because she doesn't respect you. The "formula" is that you're doing the wrong thing, every time. You're letting both your lack of frame and your build-up anger come through every time she starts this up. All of your post sounds like you have a pretty good handle on what's going on and why. Good. Keep working through the …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 01:33 PM
6

She's offering you a truckload of passive aggressive, and you're not buying into it. Good. Keep at it. First psychology article link googling "codependent passive aggressive" basically mirrors what my advice would be, but written much better.
/r/askMRP02/08/16 12:34 AM
39

This woman's father is afraid to give his own daughter a hug, based on a history of spiteful ex-wife's false molestation accusations. (Time 44:45). Thank you, Canadian (and American, and...) court system, for creating such a fertile breeding ground for absolutely fucking psychopathically damaged women to deal with. As either mothers, girlfriends, or wives. Like life didn't already provide enough challenges, we needed to deal with that shit on top of everything else. Fuck it, I'm done.
/r/TheRedPill01/08/16 03:54 AM
12

I first wrote up a really long reply to this, but it all boils down to this: she's not just normal female crazy, she's "you should back away slowly, with your hands in plain sight" crazy. Reiterate the advice to record all future interactions or have someone else present. My plan tomorrow is to contact an attorney and a real estate agent. I'm done with the craziness. Best line in your whole post. PM me if you need to decompress a little - I have some time to chat if you need it.
/r/askMRP01/08/16 01:44 AM
2

Excellent post. In both domains, business and relationship, the problems arise in the "contract" when the perception or belief about the value and the obligation no longer matches the actual reality. Making decisions based on a false perceived reality never ends well.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/16 10:29 PM
1

Dude. Maybe you want sympathy, and I get that, but you need some truth. Firstly - focus on YOU. Suicidal thoughts, depression, indicate a severe problem in YOU. You need to work this out with your counsellor as priority one. Relationship is secondary given this info. Secondly - the fact that you had those thoughts implies that you ascribe waay, waay to much value to your wife. You haven't understood shit about what the red pill is about if you think her cheating is cause enough to end your life.…
/r/askMRP27/07/16 01:42 AM
6

Biased in the politically correct way, yes. What with a lesbian provincial Premier, and with Toronto being the breeding ground for the ungendered child experiment, I'm not going to hold my breath for things to turn around any time soon.
/r/TheRedPill22/07/16 11:42 PM
7

I'm guessing this is her coy way of saying she wants to have sex tonight, Just to be clear on one thing, in case you're thinking you can bank on this: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SEX PROMISE. This is her way of saying that, at this exact right now moment, she's either a little turned on, or trying to figure out WTF has been going on lately and is thinking of throwing you some nookie just in case you're planning to leave or something (her hamster has already invented a cheating scenario). Your be…
/r/askMRP22/07/16 08:13 PM
1

The word "disown" implies punishment, rejection, intentional shunning with the goal of hurting. This says something about your residual anger, and suggests you're reacting rather than responding. Whether this is simply through frustration at the recent chain of events or whether a longer lasting anger that you're still holding onto, only you know. A couple other commenters mentioned this; I agree they're onto something. Let it go. And, as others pointed out, you're trying to buy love on some lev…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 09:23 PM
1

"Shit I don’t own - Gaming the wife" and "Sex: [...] frequency still not great," Gee, I wonder if there's a connection. Gaming isn't even a special thing you have to take seven years of gruelling training for. It's just framing your relationship as sexual, and yourself as a sexual Man. She's in the kitchen, at the sink, while you're heading to the fridge? You come up behind her, lean close, breathe sensual in her ear, walk away, hand lingering on her butt. Then grab your carrot sticks or whateve…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 12:35 PM
2

First off, a reply to some other comments: This is definitely not a safe space. You WILL get called a little pussy a lot. It is, however, a place where you will be given the hard advice you need to hear. If your ego handle some actual self-reflection, that's awesome. If not, you can go curl up on the couch and watch sad rom-coms and things will stay exactly as they are because you will stay doing exactly what you've been doing. And you clearly haven't done much reading on human behaviour or psyc…
/r/askMRP14/07/16 12:07 PM
1

The stuff that you used to allow to suck you into a huge raging fight now just makes you laugh. That's a sign you're making good progress. As far as online budgeting, I don't see a good way logistically for two people to share ownership of the data unless it's done in a well synchronized, co-operative way. I.e. not you guys. Your wife sounds more like she just wants to be a control freak. And she talks to you like that? The LAST thing she deserves in the household is more control. One thing that…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:24 PM
4

I know my cardio - trained in martial arts for 25 years. All I'm saying is, don't knock the cardio you get from long, heavy sets of deads. Or squats.
/r/TheRedPill08/07/16 01:29 AM
3

When you are in a deep hole, you look at the walls of the hole and see they cannot be climbed. You consider the walls, look at their nature, look at how they came to be. They seem so real, so unchangeable. Until you understand what they are, and leave. Now you are out of the hole, just fill it with fucking dirt already and get on with your life. Walk away. The codependency, the mommy this, the daddy that... it's something you need to figure out at one point in your life. Good for you for figurin…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 10:33 PM
22

cardio If I want cardio, I do 3x10's on my deadlifts.
/r/TheRedPill07/07/16 10:13 PM
2

Flipped through your DB post too, following /u/Persaeus lead. I'm hoping your worldview has changed since then. All the tracking and "correlation analysis" you did in there is bullshit. People can confuse data-gathering with useful progress. The thing is, that when you're running a business for example, or working in a chemical plant, or some place where there are TRIED and TRUE methods and underlying theory for why you're getting less petroleum production, or why you're going bankrupt, then yes…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 05:23 PM
3

You are right, and sorry if I am still a human being and not a robot without any emotions. If you use the same sarcastic, passive aggressive woe-is-me-but-i'm-still-right tone when you get into a disagreement with your wife that you're using in the comment above (and in many of these replies) , I can see pretty clearly how you got into this mess.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 06:06 PM
2

he was trying to use logic. Ahh yeah, the maid thing. Good point. dirty little dishes Love it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 02:49 PM
5

If memory serves, it was just a newb post that was a little bit funny because his way of "withdrawing attention from his pissy wife to go do his own thing" was to go outside and mow the lawn. At night. A little over-the-top, would not necessarily recommend, but amusing.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 01:02 PM
7

OK, I'll bite. While I agree completely about taking care of my home, what I picked up on was a blatant compliance test. The guy is well-off enough to have a maid thus I concluded a high probability of affluenza/entitlement in the wife. She then validates this impression by being bitchy enough to interrupt sex to boss him around (YOU get the dishes cleared), then bitches him out about him not doing it. His A&A wasn't so terrible (at least on paper) that this was an appropriate response in any wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 12:58 PM
2

I really like the "Are you Happy" flowchart at the end of that Mark Manson article. That's sidebar simplicity right there. These two items you posted about - it's cool to see how, despite being so personal and revolutionary when you stumble on them, are shared by so frickin' many guys here. Keep plugging away at it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 12:41 PM
4

She then told me to keep the plates and glasses back in the kitchen, before we got into bed and before she stripped that last piece. This is the point at which you physically take her by the hand, lead her over to the couch, and fuck her. If she gets all pissy and insists on YOU cleaning the dishes, just laugh and walk away, and do something useful. Take some inspiration from the guy who went out to mow the lawn in the dark :-)
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 12:27 PM
4

As much as this sub hates one-itis, being in love isn't a fatal condition per se. Your mistakes were that (1) you didn't evaluate her (rationally) properly to see if she was worthy of your LTR attention, and (2) you decide to act all romantic and effectively pulled the bait-n-switch on her, without understanding anything about her actual intentions and feelings. You changed out the behaviour that actually attracted her to you in the first place. As far as LTR evaluation goes, meeting a girl on T…
/r/TheRedPill04/07/16 08:37 PM
2

Kids - yes, pay child support but no alimony. This was all before I found TRP. But even knowing what I know now, and how much my own behaviour contributed to the whole fiasco, I think I still made the right choice by walking away. At the time, I wound up letting myself feel guilty for a lot of it, and acted the role of her beta supporter "for the sake of the kids" for a long time and didn't set enough boundaries - she'd still phone me and waste an hour bitching about the kids not doing this or t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/16 06:24 PM
1

I just read this exchange you're having. This idea "I just wish she would be happy" is a slippery slope to thinking that you have control or should try to exercise control over it. You can remove obvious impediments (i.e. stop doing dumb shit, take care of things around the house, all the usual MRP stufff) but you can't make the horse drink. That's a one-way ticket to frustration. It's ultimately a losing battle to try to make someone else happy. Once you're in that place, realize that at some l…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/16 01:55 PM
1

Ah... lifting, anger, and meditation - three things I actually know. LOL. Having the attention span of a gnat is exactly why you meditate, not a reason to give up. I've been meditating pretty heavily for 5 months now. Some days I find a groove and it all clicks, and other days, I just sit on the cushion and think about deadlifting and get so fucking pissed at myself (in a loving constructive way of course) for not lasting more than 15 second without drfiting into other thoughts. It makes a diffe…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/16 01:34 PM
1

was feeling empty more and more with each random girl I fucked for the past couple of months before moving here. If your problem is feeling empty inside, no girl will solve that. Not a series of meaningless asian one night stands, neither will a committed marriage to a unicorn. It's all in you, man, not in her. I overthink things You don't say. Keep living in your head, trying to chase after ever-escalating fantasies of painful sexual domination, and let us know how your unicorn relationship tur…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/16 11:02 PM
3

If your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. What I was trying to say to you, in a roundabaout way, is that even though you've made huge strides in your development as a Man, you're only tool is still "codependency". It happens to all of us - seeing the world through the lens of our past. And the generational/parents thing. Yeah, it's real. One time, for kicks, I got a huge piece of paper and made out a proper family tree. Fucking disaster here, disaster there, child abuse here, …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/16 10:57 PM
2

There's a good bit of truth to this. I tend to think of these kinds of broken relationships in terms of two jigsaw puzzle pieces. One person always "matches" the other person's misshapen personality perfectly. In your case, you discovered that your relationship puzzle matched the "addiction-codependency" pattern. When I look at my first marriage, I can see how I fit a lot of the classic codependent traits, but these traits overlap with a lot of other patterns too. My ex wasn't an addict, she jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/16 11:39 AM
9

Yup, that moment when you realized you've been lied to all your life and suddenly everything just clicks. We've all been there. Followed by that moment when you realize you have to step up and live your life how you want to, and start putting in the work... welcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/16 01:15 PM
7

I'd be more curious about what shit her family had been feeding her with last week, than with the Trump thing. Text her a picture of you wearing a nice Trump toupee.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:58 PM
2

Stop it with the erotica, I'm getting a stiffy over here.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:44 PM
2

What I read is an overly reactive emotional response by you (we'll get a divorce, dammit) to your boundary being crossed. Or else you're conflating the idea of hard, aggressive response with the idea of boundary setting. Either way, whoa, cowboy, slow down. Your post is full of a bunch of irrelevant self-qualification (top 10%, finances, etc etc) which says you're still at some level an approval seeker. This isn't the kind of frame that skillfully decides on and navigates the destruction of your…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:42 PM
2

Damned if that isn't some serious reflection and growth. It takes a lot to actually look at yourself honestly and figure out that stuff. Respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 01:33 AM
1

It's not like "PUA inner game" is some kind of magic, it's just a term they made up to allow you to differentiate between external actions and internal growth. The confidence, self-esteem, all that stuff is basic Dr Phil shit. You can learn strategies and techniques from any number of pop-psych self help books, reading stoicism (art of stoic joy by irvine), meditation, self hypnosis tapes (lots of apps out there), and/or faking confidence (fake it 'til you make it). Or just keep what you're doin…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/16 10:44 PM
1

Never tried the holders, but after a year of doing it myself with a regular cartridge razor, and all the gymnastics that entailed, I was like "holy hell, why didn't I just start with this thing" first time I used it.
/r/askMRP27/06/16 10:36 PM
4

Get a "Mangrooomer" battery powered back shaver from Amazon and DIY, works great. Regular AC powered hair clippers for the rest.
/r/askMRP27/06/16 06:42 PM
2

Generally, I'm not a "get off your ass, you fucking pussy" kind of a guy. But here goes that sentiment in a longer form. In PUA they talk about game: There's "outer game" which is flirting, swatting shit tests, reading IOIs, keeping your cool, and so on. And there's "inner game" which is that sense inside of you that tells you you're the cock of the walk, a solid valuable dude, with options and a lot to offer. How you view yourself, not just how you react in social and sexual interaction. Frame …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/16 04:22 PM
1

This relationship dynamic is really common. There are a lot of main-stream pop-psychology type books and articles on it, it's not something that only RedPilled people understand. Even though these links aren't RP in any way shape or form, they have a little better description of what I was trying to get at: Psychology Today Saying No Drama Triangle There's always a lock and a key, or two polarities of magnet, or however you want to phrase it. If you look at articles about narcissists and codepen…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 07:37 PM
5

But because he can't see past the fact that the fuck ups are all his to own and he blames his bitch wife for his lack of sex, he actually has the biggest ego af all. He needs validation that she is wrong to feed his ego. Yep. Your ego is the world that you've pulled down over your own eyes to keep you from seeing the truth. Interesting back story you used to suss this out. Nice post.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 01:12 PM
2

Appreciate the edit, but I still disagree. If I had built up a deep-seaetd resentment towards my wife (for her surprise pregnancy, followed by miserable behaviour for the duration of it, and her complete unwillingness to admit any responsibility for damaging out relationship, not to mention the emotional freakout I might be having about dealing with a new baby and becoming a dad for the first time), the VERY LAST thing that would make me feel better about being with her would be to have her redu…
/r/askMRP23/06/16 09:26 PM
1

Good for you. Now back to the main point: is it possible that by reflecting on YOUR behaviour, and how it may have affected his perception of you, you could try learning from your experience and try taking a different tack this time around?
/r/askMRP23/06/16 09:04 PM
2

I freaked the heck out and panicked, and would tear him down trying to get him to see my needs now that I think back, I totally ripped him apart. I can't figure out what I've done to kill his desire I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you've pretty much answered your own question. If you want advice as to how to make things better... we can advise specific actions for now, but until you can start to figure out obvious shit like this on your own, you're just going to keep fucking thin…
/r/askMRP23/06/16 08:45 PM
2

Oh, and "tearing someone down" so that they will "see your needs"....if you don't see what is wrong with that no one can help you. Truth. Her and my ex-wife both.
/r/askMRP23/06/16 08:28 PM
2

I knew money was something to fix, but I'm surprised it because such a problem during the pregnancy So let me get this right... during a stressful time for the both of you, during which time you went off the deep end emotionally, you find it surprising that a pre-existing aggravation flared up into something bigger? Your lack of awareness and absence of thought about how the various factors in your relationship affect each other is astounding.
/r/askMRP23/06/16 08:26 PM
1

As always, there are two things broken here: your wife's behaviour, and yours. She is so blatantly manipulative, guilt-trip-inducing, and blaming you for her own feelings that it triggers the BS detectors of everyone here. And you are so patently buying into it, feeling helpless that you can't stave off the guilt, can't come up with the right reasons to allay her emotions with, can't separate your own emotional state from hers, that it triggers most of the guys here into cringing. Just like in t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/16 03:45 PM
2

By your definition, every time you try to do something nice for someone else without talking to them about it, you'd be establishing a covert contract. Not quite. The "contract" term means that there's something in return. I do this, therefore you do that. You pay me $5000, I design a modified machine tool for the factory. Just doing something quietly doesn't constitute a CC; you also need the implied "consideration" in return. When the consideration is never spoken of, it's covert. When the con…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 04:33 PM
4

The kite insight is possible. But what you did was, in a sense, set up a covert contract. "Dad does this nice thing (new kite, walk to the beach, creates the environment). Therefore, you guys MUST reciprocate with enjoyment and a memorable fun time." Your disappointment stems from the fact that YOUR expectation of someone else's emotional response wasn't met. And of course, there's always the possibility that they got bored, not because of some post-millenial social conditioning and unmet expect…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 02:44 PM
1

A couple (small) comments. Re the hotel room smelled of smoke: you're overthinking things. Handled it ok. Re the photo girl: good for practice getting social yourself, if that's been your weak point, but don't confuse IOI's from "hired guns" (waitresses, sales girls, etc) for the Real Thing. But a good starting place, for sure. Physical prowess: yeah, that's a fun feeling, ain't it? My wife loves when I pick her up and carry her around -it's both manly and just plain fun for her, which is a bonu…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 02:23 PM
1

Shit, your answers are like looking at something I would have written five, ten years ago. Down to the old maternal suicide threat (damn, that one can really fuck with with ya, amirite?) There's a two stage process, and you're just beginning the first stage. The first stage is to understand what it is that's going on, what the wrong beliefs are that you cling to, how they came to be and how they don't need to be any more, all that psychoanalysis shit. The second step is to realize that none of t…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 02:00 PM
5

I just read the relationships thread you linked. My God. What's interesting is when you look at all the responses, they're so incredibly biased towards pleasing the woman, with the implicit assumption of "if you do enough for her, maybe she'll throw you a BJ" that is the death knell for so many relationships. Just for the hell of it I listed the main responses and a few that stood out to me. Every one demonstrates the implied fem-centric fem-primary narrative in BP society. "Penis hygiene": aka …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/16 01:11 PM
2

You know, you've said a couple of times here that you wanted honesty. OK... But it is "easier" for men to lose weight than women. This is just you making up some kind of gay excuse to make yourself feel better about your results. And to give yourself an "out" in case "it's too hard, can I quit now, mommy?" I am probably losing more than 3 pounds of fat though, its just that 3 pounds are reflected on the scale. Yeah, I'm rich and have a gold plated private helicopter. It's just that the bank bala…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 07:07 PM
3

"Man up" is a call to action, a reminder to get back on the masculine path. Problem with society is that they don't know what the path is anymore, nor what the right action is, so "man up" becomes a meaningless idiom, or worse (as stone points out) a shaming phrase. Boys (and BP men) need to both learn the path, and to be reminded to stay on it. Nice post.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 02:25 PM
3

In response to another poster you wrote Think I'm more interested in someone I genuinely like rather than hitting up all the pussy You're misinterpreting and refusing pretty much ALL the advice you're getting here. It's like some Buddhist riddle which is simultaneously counterintuitive but also blindingly obvious, and you haven't yet seen the obvious. Guys keep swinging blunter and blunter advice at you but you keep missing the point. The advice about pussy and pedestal is, on one level, sure, a…
/r/askMRP16/06/16 02:06 PM
1

Agreed, that's a great book. Another terrific one is called "The Mind Illuminated (A Complete Meditation Guide Integrating Buddhist Wisdom and Brain Science)". No new-age BS, just a fascinating model of how your mind works and how to train it. I never thought about how the mind works, what happens in the brain, how consciousness operates, how thought arise, any of that stuff. Reading this book blew me away. Literally the most mind-changing book I've read in the past 30 years.
/r/TheRedPill16/06/16 01:20 PM
1

If your husband says to you "you can do whatever the hell you like" after you gained 60 lbs then he's lying through his teeth. He's afraid that if he confronts you directly, you'll either go ballistic or he'll be killing the sexual golden goose. Why would he be honest and direct if he feels that way? There's most likely a feeling of loss, being cheated out of a hot wife, and some lurking resentment buried in him. But he's afraid of disturbing the status quo. He's likely smart enough to know how …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 09:58 PM
7

OK, you're full of shit. The other guys have deconstructed the main points but I'm going to give you something a little different: a meta-analysis of the language you used in this post, and what it says about you. I just left my wife in another city because she couldn't stop verbally abusing me "because" and "she couldn't". You're explaining already in the title why it isn't your fault. (Hint: there are always two people in a relationship). And "she couldn't" ? or she wouldn't ? See how you're a…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 04:08 PM
1

Then the next book you need to read is WISNIFG. You don't need to go all Rambo on her ass the day after you read it, but take a while to digest the message and see where you've been misleading yourself. Then start changing how you act, and how you feel will follow.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 02:51 PM
2

The very fact that you ask this question reveals a lot. That you believe you owe her an explanation of your actions and behaviour. False. You owe yourself that first. Reveals the fact that you should answer to her. False. She's not your boss or your parole officer. Reveals the fact that you can't go out and do your own thing without worrying what to say to her to try to justify yourself, and worried that you'll say the wrong thing and fuck it up. False. You do your own things for you. If you don…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 02:38 PM
5

Congrats. No so much for the breakup itself, as for the principle of being man enough to put your needs first, and weighing what you were getting versus what you wanted and expected. You turned into a classic Nice Guy (read Glover's book No More Mr Nice Guy). Expecting that by doing nice stuff for her (rides, help, etc) she'd return the favour (in bed). Hah. Despite the chick-flick movies you've been exposed to, now you know how well that actually works. You're on the road: have expectations or …
/r/TheRedPill14/06/16 01:01 PM
4

Check out this piece by Rollo.
/r/TheRedPill14/06/16 12:45 PM
3

Read Rollo on "The Talk", also linked here on TRP a few days ago for comments.
/r/TheRedPill13/06/16 11:24 PM
4

Hence the 55-gallon drum of Astroglide.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 05:49 PM
1

trying to bring me down to establish herself above me. Yes, and? In the words of the exalted Dom Mazzetti: "What do women want out of a relationship? The upper hand." ( from the deeply insightful Dad-bod rant IIRC).
/r/askMRP08/06/16 09:53 PM
1

A couple things. First - this may e how you see yourself now. It's not permanent, beyond your control to change, or an unchanging aspect of your personality. Yes, mediation helps you to see things in the now as they are. But tat doesn't mean they're immutable and you can't improve. Much like seeing a bus coming at you in the street - as a meditator, you will still jump out of the way rather than accept being crushed to death. As you see, feelings can come and go. So can this sense of brokenness …
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 04:51 PM
3

She sounds pretty nice. The fact that she's independent, runs a business, tends to point to an honest interest rather than her seeing you for a provider role. You haven't named a single red flag, which means that either she's a unicorn or you're still not able to see them (whether for lack of experience/exposure, or because it's still the honeymoon phase, I can't be sure). "The Wall" is part of a typical pattern in a woman's life cycle. I'm sure you see life as being a little different now than …
/r/askMRP03/06/16 01:32 PM
5

From Rollo's "Rooting through garbage" post: Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was. So this woman cheated on you, used you, lied to you about paternity…
/r/askTRP02/06/16 05:37 PM
2

Relevant speech (the first minute is the main takeaway).
/r/askTRP02/06/16 05:23 PM
2

If you really want to differentiate yourself, make sure you take calculus. But seriously. Physical stuff - join sports or a martial art, start lifting (there are loads of tutorials and info on youtube for form and programming). And be social - join teams, hang out with people instead of spending your evenings gaming in the basement. With the mindset you'll pick up here, and the physical and social foundations also taken care of, you've got a great shot at making high school yours for the taking.
/r/askTRP02/06/16 02:34 PM
11

Hardly a new thing by any means. Read the character of Cathy Ames in Steinbeck's 1952 "East of Eden". Try pages 23-26 at rednovels starting here. Two young boys discovered coming back from being out in the barn with a girl their own age: Their crime was bad enough, but the lies proved an evil that not even the whip could remove. And their defense was from the beginning ridiculous. Cathy, they said, had started the whole thing, and they had each given her five cents. They had not tied her hands. …
/r/TheRedPill31/05/16 03:40 PM
2

Check out "The Mind Illuminated" by Culadasa/John Yates. It's an incredibly clear, well written book. No bullshit mystical stuff or crystals or shit, just down to earth here's what to do, here's what to expect, here's what happens. Daily practice - like diet and exercise, but for the mind.
/r/askTRP30/05/16 03:24 AM
1

"Your love gives me such a thrill/but your love won't pay my bills" - Flying Lizards. When you first heard it, long ago, you probably thought it was a cute novelty song. Oh, the irony.
/r/TheRedPill29/05/16 02:44 PM
4

This makes a lot of sense. I'm going to keep that in mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 02:59 PM
4

the angry thought is just that, a thought. A mind pattern. This exactly. I tend to see two "angers" now, for lack of a better terminology. Maybe it's a good model, maybe not. The first is the almost "universal" hindbrain reaction which is short and purely emotional, an initial reaction to an event. Like stubbing your toe and seeing red. The second is taking that emotional catalyst and turning it into a long term mental attitude in which everything is seen as a little worse that it actually is, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 12:47 PM
7

Nice. Life gets so much easier when you can see the code.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 02:37 PM
3

Good ownership. Lots of clarity. Still anger. That too will pass. May you be well.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 12:39 PM
1

Anger and joy are exact opposites. When one takes root, the other can't grow. Not only does anger kill the joy, it's a state of mind where you perceive everything bad as terrible, everything neutral as bad, and everything good as neutral. Kind of like depression. You cannot make good decisions when you don't see reality, you only see a negative-filtered version of it. And yeah, you will also have a hard time figuring out what you really want when you close your eyes to ponder this and all you se…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 01:52 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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