MAP as a covert contract?

IASGame · 2016-08-10T16:26:31+00:00

It is fairly standard, many of us start off with One-itis and want something specifically from their wife. So after admitting you aren't necessarily high value, the MAP is subconsciously conceived with the idea that "If I become high value she will X me" (X may be like/respect/fuck).

In reality even becoming high value in order to be attractive to women is a covert contract, although slightly better than being attractive specifically to a particular woman.

You should just do it for yourself really.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-08-10T17:45:16+00:00

Your MAP is a plan on how to create a better you and life.

The fact your wife and other women will want to fuck you as you progress is a fantastic side effect.

Chump_No_More · 2016-08-10T18:04:08+00:00

I've always looked at "MAP as a covert contract" as part of the process of 'red-pill grieving'.

Regardless of whether it's contemptuous disrespect, a dead bedroom, or infidelity, most men take up residence in 'Bargaining' with the stubborn belief that, "If I just sprinkle some Alpha on it and do these 'things', then my respectful, adoring, sexual wife will come back to her senses, life will be good, and I can go back to my old lazy, drunken ways"

Many of us 'on the other side' laugh (now) at our foolish notion because firstly it did not work, and lastly it was never the actual goal.

Unfortunately, many men get stuck there and frustrated because they are weak, timid souls who are afraid of the unknown and most of all failure. As a result, they don't do the hard work and never pass 'go'.

It's only when you embrace the suck, do the hard things, and see the fruits of your labor that you reach a threshold of worthiness and internalize the tools, build your frame, evolve, and become the center of your universe.

This is 'acceptance'... The "There is no Spoon" moment when you realize there is no wife bending to your weak manipulations, there is only you and your force of will creating the world you choose to live in.

Countpudyoola · 2016-08-10T18:34:31+00:00

Not every MAP is a good MAP, but it is your MAP.

or

The MAP/FRAME Creed.

This is my MAP.There are many similar MAPS, but this one is mine.
My FRAME is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my MAP.
My MAP, without me, is useless. Without my MAP or FRAME I am useless. I must adhere to my MAP truly. I must maintain FRAME more than my wife who is trying to break my frame.
My MAP and myself know that what counts in this life is not the times we demonstrate Outcome Independence, the wit of our Amused Mastery, nor the shit-tests we blow through. We know that it is achieving the goals of our MAP that counts. WE WILL MAINTAIN FRAME.
My MAP is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn and test it as a brother. I will learn my FRAME's weak points, it's strong points, it's finer points and how to stay a stalwart block. I will ever guard it against commandeering by others for their own benefit. I will keep it simple and with clear goals. It will become second nature. It will reflect me and be indistinguishable from who I am.
Before the mods , I swear this creed. By reading the sidebar and mentoring others we will defend men from the society that seeks to weaken us. We will become leaders of ourselves and therefor our family. We are the maintainers of the dream of a marriage where we don't get the shaft. We are the builders of MAPS.
So be it, until victory is MRP and there is no enemy, but ourselves.

and Oprah.

Fuck that man hating bitch.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2016-08-10T16:26:37+00:00

Covert contract:

1) I will do X

2) In return she will do Y

3) She will not know that this contract exists.

When I first started writing down my thoughts, MAP, etc. I said I'm going to give it one year. One year and I will analyze progress monthly and if after 6 months it's not improved to my liking I'll consult with a trusted friend about going to get a lawyer. 9 months I'll have a plan, documents, and be looking at places to live. 12 months i'm out. It was basically:

1) I will improve myself

2) You will respect me and have sex with me more.

3) in 12 months I'm dropping a bomb on you out of the blue.

As you continue to read and learn you realize it's not just about improving yourself, and it's definately not about her validating you through sex, it's about building a frame, and becoming stoic, and setting an example and leading her. And that means communicating your boundaries, encouraging good behavior, and not putting up with bad behavior. This blows the whole covert contract out of the water because expectations are set, it's a more fluid, dynamic process rather than a date set in stone, and you arent playing a reactionary victim.

FistFullOfBitches · 2016-08-10T16:53:34+00:00

Sure, the trap exists - doesn't mean everyone falls into it. If you frame your MAP in such as way that you measure your success by your wife's (or anyone else's) approval, you're setting yourself up for the same fall you've always taken. Lucy still has the option to pull the football away at the last second. Plus, you haven't learned a damn thing because you're doing it for her, not for you.

Just do it for you. And see what happens.

ReddJive · 2016-08-10T16:54:17+00:00

Read NMMNG again. It's right there.

As others have said if it's not for you and you alone then what are you doing?

Sepean · 2016-08-10T18:52:58+00:00

It is not a covert contract. You are not exchanging services as in "I do the dishes, in return you give me a blowjob" or "I provide for the family, in return you love me."

What makes it a contract is that the two services are not causally connected so the exchange happens only when the parties honor the contract.

Your MAP doesn't work that way. Your MAP is designed to build personal qualities that will make women attracted to you. This is no more a covert contract than taking MMA classes to prepare for a fight. If you've trained enough to become a better fighter than your opponent, you will likely win when you step into the cage. Your opponent can't steal the win from you by "refusing to honor the covert contract you made by practicing for the fight", that is just not how it works, it is not a covert contract.

Will your MAP lead to success? Who knows? One thing is for sure, there are no shortcuts. You have to build that SMV; there are no points for showing up.

It is just like fighting; you have to fight and you have to win. You can't just show up and do the classes half-heartedly, skip sparring because your toe hurts and drop cardio because Game of Thrones was just released.

If that's your MAP, that you just have to go through the motions and then your wife will fuck you, then yes it is a covert contract and it won't work.

Lifting doesn't matter jack shit if you don't put on muscle. Dieting don't matter shit if you don't drop the fat. Reading about A&A don't matter shit if you go all deer-in-the-headlight when your wife shit tests you. Reading about frame don't matter shit if you fold when your wife is inconvenienced by your plans.

But work hard, track progress and adjust when you hit plateaus, then you're building the qualities that will causally get you what you want.

Persaeus · 2016-08-11T11:43:29+00:00

a poster noted in passing something along the lines of his MAP being "the ultimate covert contract"

That poster would be me. It is not my observation, and is in fact common knowledge that a lot (most....maybe) of new guys have an underlying CC around their MAP (i.e. the M is for marriage instead of man). I am on my 3rd MAP as of several weeks ago. The first two said nothing about the wife; although the second did have an objective to get "someone" (hamster speak for wife) that met my ideal specifications.

Until I had the epiphany; I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about a.) the woman I had and messed up, b.) the woman I wanted, c.) strategy/words in the "talk" I planned with wife where I lay out my expectations, and d.) divorce fantasy. If you are thinking like this then you likely have a covert contract on your MAP; and are not operating completely in your own frame. Stop that.... I think a lot of guys come to right answer faster/easier than me. The process of overanalyzing something, just pound my own mind into a pile of mush, and "puff" the answer appears to me is not unique to MRP and is just the way I process things. This model serves me well in other spheres of life (complicated technical stuff), but is kind of a handicap otherwise.

As has been noted, NMMNG expands on covert contracts ad nauseum.

Comments in the referenced post further detail my MAP and the process I used to arrive at it.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-08-10T18:07:18+00:00

It's common, and also very basic. NMMNG flat out tells you right at the start, this isn't about fixing your marriage, but fixing you.

So everyone is supposed to understanding this from the very start. A lot don't seem to be, until it slaps them in the face a few months down the line

Title	MAP as a covert contract?
Author	discobolus_
Upvotes	4
Comments	33
Date	August 10, 2016 3:46 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4x2rkc/map_as_a_covert_contract/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/map-as-a-covert-contract.207260 https://theredarchive.com/post/207260