| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24 | GigaFastTwin | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 10:31 PM | |
| 4 | California move out date? | GigaFastTwin | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/24 10:42 PM | |
| 2 | Home buyout furnishings value | GigaFastTwin | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 05:42 PM | |
| 1 | House buyout and equity | GigaFastTwin | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 01:23 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Don’t become a stepdad when you already have kids, and don’t get remarried again.Hear hear! Thanks man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/25 11:28 PM |
| 8 | I became too rich to divorce and I feel trapped.Where are you located? In USA California for example - inheritance is exempt from community property - check your state or jurisdiction for this. Your wife may be entitled to the gains, but the baseline inheritance hopefully not. Good luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/25 12:16 AM |
| 3 | Weight loss & gain after DivorceI think a lot of it comes down to developing good habits, that become part of you. Regardless if you feel like it or not. Just f-ing do it. Go to gym or lift at home, crank out 100 push ups in a session, morning walks, intermittent fasting, keeping your mouth closed from food etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/25 10:33 PM |
| 2 | Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.Gold! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/24 02:33 AM |
| 12 | How to move on from feeling taken advantage of?One mantra that helps me a lot: “The best revenge is living well.” Easier said than done I know, but slowly we get stronger - day by day. Good luck man | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/24 11:38 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Yeah she stepped out starting last December, then told me end of month then the classic: “love you, not in love with you”. I knew it was over then, we limped along for a bit and reconciled for about 6 weeks mid Feb through March, but I knew it was done. I have been waiting to get this tentative Marriage Settlement agreement from her attorney for a couple months it seems. Finally received last week. So now I am getting legal consul on the terms. I just haven’t had much to work with yet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 04:09 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Hi, the deferred sale would be about 7.5 years - until kids are 18. I know, that’s a crazy long time. I’m getting consultations from two separate firms this week on this and child/spousal support numbers her attorney mucked up. Easier thing to do is just sell. She said last night I’m screwing the kids over if that happens. I told her, then come up with the money to buy me out or takeover loan. Not really my problem. She wants it both ways it seems. Kids and I will be fine | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 03:58 PM |
| 6 | It's official, ouchKeep swimming man - hang in there. Remember - you can always laugh again. It will get better. "If you're going through hell, keep going" | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 09:05 PM |
| 2 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Yeah the move out date is part of the agreement. Financially, Im giving her equity in the house - when it sells after deferral, and she wont touch my 401k, pension or small business. Ill still have ~$150K in equity in house at future sale. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:25 AM |
| 2 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24I like the approach. Going to see what other attorneys tell me at consultations next week. Thanks man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:18 AM |
| 1 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24100%. CA defaults to 50/50, but yes I hear you. Need to have an agreed plan. Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:18 AM |
| 2 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Right on man thanks for that. We get along ok - no history of violence or anything. But she is moody and suffers some slight depression - so its not pleasant being around her at all. Plus she just goes out and parties with her "friends" and spends nights randomly around at her APs or god knows where. I am currently way over 50% custody living here. I told her it will be a wake up call when I move it... | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:17 AM |
| 2 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Agree 100%. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:14 AM |
| 3 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Yeah I know. I have been going back and forth on it. Its tough with two kids that have been in the home since birth. I know kids are more resilient. But its tough. Im going to talk to two more attorneys next week to get their fresh eye takes on it - see if Im being a fool here. Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Yeah 50/50 is default custody in CA; I am ok on financials too - shes not touching my 401k or pension or small business. I need to get my attorney to run the support numbers to confirm what the right $$ is in child support and spousal support. I got her down to 8 years on support - CA is tough. Long term marriages >10 years (which mine is) can go way beyond that amount. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:12 AM |
| 1 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24Appreciate you man, agree on all accounts thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:10 AM |
| 3 | Need some suggestions on my situationThe CA child support calculator has spousal support built in too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 02:51 AM |
| 3 | Need some suggestions on my situationSimilar boat in mid flight here in CA. You can run the CA Child Support calculator online for free. Plug in your income and hers, chose Santa Clara county at the bottom - most liberal for spouses (so worst case scenario for you). I’m married for 12.75 years, got her to 8.5 years on alimony at ~$1,170. She’s not touching 401K or pension. Those are coming out of my house equity. I’m in for the long game. Retirement accounts are compounding and will be few $M when want to retire. I make around $200… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 02:50 AM |
| 3 | Ex offers agreement on 401kI would just take a 401K loan for the $ and pay it back over three years through paycheck deductions. No penalty. Easy win on your part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Sell home when kids turn 18?What was your final agreement? I’m wrestling with a similar situation now in CA. Kids are 10, tentative defer sale until they are 18 and graduate - in a little less than 8 years. She would live in house, while I pay mortgage, then we sell. I know it’s not ideal whatsoever, but easier for kids. Probably about $500K in house equity now. Thanks everyone | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 07:39 AM |
| 3 | I go back and forthFundamentally, ask yourself: 1) Do you have a teammate?; 2) Is this someone who champions your success? 3) Do you see yourself content/satisfied/fulfilled with this person in who they are and how they approach their life? Good luck man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 04:09 AM |
| 1 | 8 days and countingI believe the process just continues on. Your spouse doesn’t have to respond in CA (initially), but they will eventually. The info is on the self help court website. Good luck man | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 02:02 AM |
| 4 | How to start process?Go to California courts and start downloading the forms. I recommend buying/subscribing to Adobe, so you can neatly complete the forms. 1) initial filing fee is SoCal is $435, fyi. 2)After filing, you need to get a third party (relative, friend, neighbor etc) to serve your spouse papers. 3) Gather your financials and provide to spouse within 60 days of filing; if spouse provided a response to your filing, they have 60 days from the date they received your financials to provide their financials t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/24 11:16 PM |
| 1 | Loneliness/ Dating appsGreat approach and outcome! Yeah working through the long-term spousal support possibility here in CA...thank you, I will talk with lawyer about pulling recent awards. I assume they have access in CA about that too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Loneliness/ Dating appsSolid! About how much of your net income is going to child support and spousal support combined? I’m in the negotiation stage here in CA…thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 06:16 PM |
| 1 | What’s the best place to spend a week worth of vacation during a divorce?Good to know, thanks for sharing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/24 12:56 AM |
| 1 | What’s the best place to spend a week worth of vacation during a divorce?Hong Kong | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/24 12:54 AM |
| 9 | Being alone is hard!FFS. Go for a drive - give yourself an adventure. Maybe you need to try the best burger in the State next door? Get out of your comfort zone. If you need an injection, watch 5 mins of Goggins YouTube. You got this man. Crank, suffer, excel! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/24 02:54 AM |
| 19 | My situationI know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s done pal. Your #1 now. If you have kids together, you and the kids are #1 now. Screw her. Get things lined up and file. Go into your garage or outside, crank out 30 pulls ups, and run with intent and purpose throughout the neighborhood for 2 mins -like you’re the goddamn owner of the Earth… Come back and you walk on water - untouchable. Good luck man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/24 01:15 AM |
| 2 | Selling engagement and wedding ringsAll the rings, jewelry, purses etc. are sunk costs that you purchased when you got on the ride man. The ride is ending, those things are gone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 09:23 AM |
| 5 | Asking STBX about divorceDude, I encourage you to take direction. Go file yourself. You will feel so good walking out of that courthouse knowing the process is in motion and you’ll soon be able to move on. Only you hold the reigns to your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 01:41 PM |
| 1 | Stbxw’s constant competition with kids100% in this currently with STBXW. I have twin boys and I do a lot of outdoor exciting activities, go karts, beach fires, hikes etc. My STBXW has told the boys she wants to do cool stuff with them, but in reality she can’t really compete. It’s just the nature of it. She took them along with her as she did errands the other day and made them sit and wait for her to get nails done. Boys said it was terrible and they were in nail salon for 1.5 hrs… Not trying to compete at all with her, but having … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 11:26 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with STBXIt’s tough, and they always try to get a rise out of you, but try your best and not react. Just simple responses. I’ve found that body language is a good way to show you don’t care either. Any time my STBX is talking to me, I lean against something or put my arm casually off to the side, being relaxed. Subtle clues that get under their skin, that they’re not going to affect you. Ha “Water off a ducks back” is what I always say to myself | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 09:14 PM |
| 22 | Red flags in possible future wives!How well they get along with their fathers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/24 12:26 AM |
| 19 | What is one line or quote you can share to help fellow divorced men?“The best revenge is living well” | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 08:49 PM |
| 5 | Going to join the clubYou got this pal, be true to yourself! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/24 03:20 AM |
| 6 | brief updateYeah man good luck. I keep telling myself: “I can always make more money, I can’t make more time.” Good on you to get the process rolling and crank through all this. We’re brothers in the same boat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/24 01:02 AM |
| 2 | Social CircleJust f-ing do it man, make it happen! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/24 12:11 AM |
| 1 | Just want a weekend away, but no separation agreement yetThanks pal, really appreciate the information! I’m disclosing financials shortly and then meeting with STBX and her attorney in mid August to see their proposal. Will consult a lawyer on the review and agreement. STBX lawyer initially said long-term alimony would be half length of marriage, so like 6.5 years. Not sure if I should try to negotiate that down more, as it seems decent from what I am reading others have been required of. Thanks again, I’ll post update at some point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Just want a weekend away, but no separation agreement yetRight thanks for that! Hey on the FL-150, do you recall if you put taxable gross or total gross monthly income? There is a difference of ~$500/paycheck for medical/dental/401K (pre tax) benefits that is not taxable and doesn’t show up on W-2 under Box 1 wages, earnings. So for example, let’s say my W-2 it states earnings in Box 1 are at $200K, but my total gross for year on last stub is ~$213K. I want to just list what would be on Box 1. Appreciate it! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 11:29 PM |
| 2 | Just want a weekend away, but no separation agreement yetI’m in CA too. I thought after “Date of Separation” has been established (I have served STBX and she and lawyer have responded in agreement) that finances are separate and status quo of any joint living expenses to remain until final dissolution. Shouldn’t I be able to spend how I want after date of separation? I need to take a break away too…Appreciate any other info you may share thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 09:43 PM |
| 1 | Home buyout furnishings valueYeah agreed, I can run lean on it. But for my kids, I need to have a decent setup. Agree on household furnishings, let her have most of this, easier that way for sure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 12:05 PM |
| 3 | Home buyout furnishings valueRight on pal. Yeah I’ll just grind out purchasing new or used items at new place. Will take some time though…but maybe better in long run, I won’t have to compromise on what I want ha | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 12:07 AM |
| 0 | Home buyout furnishings valueGood idea, will do on some items for sure | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 07:37 PM |
| 0 | Home buyout furnishings valueYeah agreed, but we’re talking about a fully furnished 3 bedroom house with pool and outdoor patio furniture (couches, tables and 9 patio chairs), garage has a beverage fridge, freezer, washer dryer etc. New couch and tv purchased in March ‘24. Sounds like I am technically entitled to half, but if I take some of it, will just impact my boys at this house. I’ll nibble on what I can and not make too much a fuss, but she’s getting a deal on this stuff that I’ve procured over the years (yes I paid f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 07:37 PM |
| 1 | Home buyout furnishings valueGood approach, appreciate the response. I think I may take a few items (patio chairs, etc.) but the bulk will stay in the house. It’s just funny, cause all this stuff has a value albeit used. But still. Seems her half of house and furnishings gets her quite a bit more than my half. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 06:30 PM |
| 2 | Home buyout furnishings valueHa! If it was just me man, I would. But with two boys I will be raising 50% of time, I need to make a comfortable home for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 06:07 PM |
| 14 | Quote to repeat to yourself EVERY DAY“The best revenge is living well” | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/24 07:01 PM |
| 1 | California move out date?Right on agreed, thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/24 05:08 AM |
| 1 | California move out date?Agreed, thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/24 11:25 PM |
| 1 | California move out date?Agreed, appreciate it thanks! Trying to get some money together… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/24 11:24 PM |
| 2 | Spouse won’t agree to sell the family house and can’t afford to buy me out.Right on thanks for the update. So you added up the debt and the equity in home and she made up the difference? Can you provide ballpark numbers as an example. I’m in a similar situation now in CA. Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 07:04 PM |
| 2 | Spouse won’t agree to sell the family house and can’t afford to buy me out.Hi, what was the outcome? | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 06:39 PM |
| 1 | House buyout and equityThank you sir, great comment and advice! She cannot currently afford the mortgage of $3K as it is now for the family home. I’m thinking we would have to sell this house…split the proceeds - get her the majority of the equity in exchange for my 401K/pension, …just stinks for the kids sake. OR she sells her Mom’s house for $800K, pays off the mortgage outright $395K, and I agree to pay her back for half that amount ($197.5K) overtime. Not sure that makes sense. But it gives her this house with kid… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 09:32 AM |
| 2 | House buyout and equityHi there, there is only $20k left on her mom’s house at a variable rate and is currently about $480/mo, she uses the remaining money to cover property taxes and $600 of the $2500 to pay for kids school. The rest is hers for living and what not. Yeah thinking it through. Not sure if a mediator would have an idea? Want to try and limit attorney involvement as we are both strapped on cash at the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 04:11 AM |
| 2 | House buyout and equityYeah…hoping to come to some sort of agreement separately with her. Maybe I’m nuts, but hoping we can work it out without court order. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 03:19 AM |
| 1 | House buyout and equityYeah understood. Trying to be positive about it. I don’t really care about the house. She can have it. Just no money for me to be paying mortgage on marital home and having to live elsewhere. I think we just sell home and split. I’ll pay alimony and child support for the next ~ 8 years as required/agreed to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 03:03 AM |
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