GreenCod8806 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
14	Ex moved out left kid’s things in disarray.		GreenCod8806	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 12:46 AM
1	What rights do we have?	Living Situations	GreenCod8806	/r/Divorce_Men	11/08/24 08:16 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Divorce Custody Battle in California Create documentation of every day you spend with your children. Proof of attendance of drs appointments even. Photos. Photos of you being there with her. It may suck but it might be of great help in the future. Create a log of every time she witholds visits. You will need this information. I have no other advice or experience to share unfortunately. Evidence is what will matter, not emotions.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/24 06:31 PM
2	Letting go of the ex wife’s judgement and words. She sabotaged your marriage don’t let her sabotage you. No one gets to decide who you are but you. Know yourself. Provide yourself with specific examples of the opposite of everything you mentioned. Journal if you have to but the truth is you should never use your word against yourself. Every word you use for yourself to describe your self worth should be used with integrity. This is poison and you are choosing to drink it. Don’t drink poison.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/24 10:45 AM
1	Did anyone end up being Happy their Wife Divorced them? It may have saved my life.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/24 10:35 AM
8	My son wants me to take care of my sick ex-wife A sick wife sounds like a husband problem. And you my friend are no longer her husband. She doesn’t get the benefits of a partnership without being a true partner. Your son might want you to help. You do not have to. It’s your relationship, you get to choose. Help in other ways if you have ro but do not physically do it yourself. Hire help once a week/once a month not fucking every day. You were a part of her life but you’re not beholden to her for the rest of yours. If the tables were turned as…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/24 10:30 AM
1	Barely surviving Wishing you the very best man. Never give up!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/24 12:44 AM
1	I have a (mostly) healthy relationship with my wife, but there's zero sex. Unsure about what to do next. 34m 33f Divorce before you are on the hook for alimony for life. Not sure what the alimony laws are in your jurisdiction but seriously think about your financial health before anything-ANYTHING. Stop feeling sorry for her. Feel sorry for yourself. There is no passion. Everything you do is out of guilt. Not love. Guilt and attachment. You keep trying to leave —that’s the you that’s fighting for you. Don’t think of getting in a better relationship. It may or may not happen. Think about leaving a shitty se…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/24 09:53 AM
1	Barely surviving Good luck on your results. Just keep staying active and healthy.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/24 02:55 AM
5	Update: How do I navigate through this life dilema Time for her to go look for a sucker who’s willing to pay her alimony then. And time for you to find a woman who loves you and not your money or your future money.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 04:29 PM
3	Barely surviving Shower and dress in the morning as if going to work. Change once work is done. This gives your mind a little imaginary switch that say alright work is starting or work is done-I’m home, I can relax.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/24 06:12 AM
8	Barely surviving If you are doom scrolling you have time to look for a better position and advance your career. Switching jobs is one way to increase pay. Try to get out more. Join a hiking club. All you need are a pair of shoes. Plan a vacation. Just visualize where you really want to go. Work toward it. Join a book club. Check out books at the library. Get your mind busy. Join a support group. In person or online. Just to communicate and know that you aren’t alone in your feelings. If you have a video game con…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/24 03:13 AM
1	Love and happiness Really sorry to hear you going through this. 20+ years without explanation is pretty shit, but at least it sounds drama free right now. So take that as a silver lining. You’ll get through it buddy. Better to find out now than when you God forbid are sick and really might need her. At least you have your health. Blessings to you.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/09/24 04:43 AM
3	Divorcing a literal crazy woman. Any advice?? Don’t communicate with her unless you must. Re: kids, taxes. That’s it. Hire an attorney and take their advice.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/09/24 01:42 AM
4	Divorce coping It will get better. The divorce is just evident that this was not the right person for you. Don’t ever think about ending your precious life over the wrong person. That would just be dumb my friend. Talk to someone you trust-a sibling, a friend, a parent and get your feelings out. You will feel a great deal of relief just by releasing them. Keep yourself busy. Exercise, do whatever brings you joy and a laugh. I promise you things will get better. One day at a time and the pain will decrease with…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 10:10 PM
1	After school Lol. Let’s divorce but stay so I can be a lazy bitch. Lmao.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 05:03 AM
1	Arbitrary custody decisions by stbxw - how to respond? If you pick them up from her place where exactly is the time difference? Also, no is a complete sentence. Do not justify, argue, defend or explain. “Seeing how I will be picking them up from your place and that would make no difference in terms of commute, your reason for disagreement is nothing other than parental alienation. I will pick them up tomorrow.”	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 05:00 AM
2	I filed for divorce Great news! Possible alimony will only be based on five years! That’s a fucking win my man. Detaching from your abuser-another win! Isolation is 100% an abuser’s MO. So, get back to socializing so you see that you are not the bad guy my friend. You got used to this person 12 years. Your mind was basically a codependent addict. Give it at least take 12 months to kick this emotional addiction. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just get on a responsible track and talk to the guys here, seek advice, tal…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 01:36 AM
1	Arbitrary custody decisions by stbxw - how to respond? Whatever plan you agree to now especially if it’s a shitty one may be your future status quo. If you have to wake up early then fucking do it. Is there a reason she doesn’t want you to drive them? Alcohol? Drug abuse? Tell her you will be taking them to school and she can pick them up. 50/50 non negotiable. If she has a problem with it take it up with the judge.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 01:30 AM
5	Do you tell her before you retain a lawyer? Fuck no.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 01:07 AM
1	Need some advice Do not buy a house. Do not let her be a stay at home mom. Does she cook? Does she clean? If yes, Put in your half of the chores. ( so she can’t have a reason NOT to ho back to work). Try to work it out with a couple shitty counseling sessions without revealing too much to show you made the attempt and if you truly dont see eye to eye—baby will definitely show this—then start stashing cash. Not sure what your timeline is but I imagine it wont be for at least the first year of child’s infancy. Do …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 01:02 AM
3	Guys I am relapsing … [2-yr post-DDay Update] Look, you did it before you can do it again. It’s a lifestyle man. Stop listening to the negative voices. Remember what it took to get here. Don’t take it for granted. Wake up 30 minutes earlier do one to two sets of compound exercises. Some celtic salt and a full glass of water all this BEFORE coffee. This will get your metabolism going. Have a light breakfast, do your work. If you do this everyday thats about two full gym sessions. You just need to make time for the third. Eat light in the eve…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/24 12:46 AM
15	She said, "You could just pick up the dog poop without me asking. You see it just like I do." What an entitled bitch. Dog comes with the house. She could teach the kids to pick it up and teach them some responsibility as well, but that would require a brain cell. Let it sit there. Do not pick up that shit, bruh. “Her house”? Her lawn.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/24 08:51 PM
9	She said, "You could just pick up the dog poop without me asking. You see it just like I do." This is so good.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/24 08:48 PM
1	I‘ve to pay alimony to wife? Take the express lane to Divorce! Others would kill to be your finacial position of a 2 year marriage, with no assets. Don’t let a little alimony scare you, the longer you wait the more body parts you’ll have to cut off. Take your pick…and finger or an arm?	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 04:01 PM
1	Legal advice needed Get a sitter and don’t make your life difficult.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:58 PM
1	How hard is it to split time with kids? I always find it funny when they want more custody and have the grandparents play such a large role meanwhile men really are doing it on their own. If we want to get real courts should really take that into account. All this additional support they receive that never comes into the equation as their inadequacy as a sole provider or sole caretaker. Next go around find someone whose parents are dead.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:56 PM
1	I hate her. She reminds me of my failures Don’t leave. And contest as far as you can. Make her life a living hell. Get alimony, child support, whatever is within your right. Take her ass to the cleaners!	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:44 PM
1	I hate her. She reminds me of my failures Everyone is in it for themselves my friend. Trust no one. That’s your new mantra. Get smart. She was just an expensive life lesson. Never look back. Close the door behind you and keep each foot moving forward and start treating yourself like you are your wife. The best revenge is success, serve it cold with a smile. Become the man she wishes she didnt let go. $$$	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:42 PM
1	I still get moments of rage Just remember karma exists. She’ll get exactly what she deserves—you just may not know about it. As far as the house—she did all that to get under your skin. Deny her the satisfaction of a reaction or anger. Let her poison consume her. 5 vacays a year? Hahaha she won’t be able to maintain that life style for long on stashed cash. Don’t you worry. People like this buy buy buy to fill their black hole of a heart. She’ll have to find some other sucker when that money runs out and that’s when you’ll…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:38 PM
3	Decision This is only going to lead to divorce. Not sure how long you have been married but look up alimony laws in your jurisdiction and determine if it makes any difference for you to leave at this point. Aka lifetime alimony or temporary alimony. If lifetime alimony is a reality stick around start stashing cash before you make any moves or tip her off.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:28 PM
1	Feeling very lonely Find friends before finding a woman. Everyone is lonely in one way or another, married people included.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 03:25 PM
1	It is never OVER and I am tired dealing with her and the kids! Take a breath. If you were still married you’d still have scheduling issues. In other words it’s not the divorce—it’s a fact of life. Don’t throw the babies out with the bath water dude. Full custody means you will be alientaed from your kids and paying her to do it with additional CS. A set schedule can be good. It can backfire on her as much as it can backfire on you. How the fuck are you stuck? You had kids-you have to fucking be available for them. Get a grip my man. Kids always come first. …	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:48 AM
1	20 years of marriage suddenly ending. I thought we were ok. Anyone been through this? Two kids. Feel like my life is over. You will be okay. You won’t die from divorce man. Document your willingness to work on the marriage (i.e. counseling). Stay on this subreddit. Seek advice. Stay away from drugs or alcohol and keep your shit together. You’ll be fine. You may actually thrive in your new life. Also, only you know if you did or did not cheat. Don’t be so sure about her my sweet summer child. We don’t know what we don’t know.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:41 AM
2	Divorce coping Cope by working on yourself first. You are the hot shit. Get that in your head. But be the hot shit. Hit the gym. Take care of yourself, I mean REALLY take care of yourself. Date yourself first. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, compliment your best qualities, work on the weak points. Commit to yourself, your health and your well-being by being consistent with the gym, your diet, doctors appointments, and work. Once you have married yourself then and only then hit the dating scene. You will b…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:32 AM
1	Push the Button, $2,500 - Crapping My Pants Some of the best things that happen in our lives come from the most difficult decisions. Have faith in your judgement and your choice. The body will always have a visceral reaction to the unknown and specifically to change. Status quo is almost easier because we know what to expect. It’s time to take on this challenge, put your gloves on and get in the ring. Ding ding. You will be victorious. Bruised and battered but victorious and ready to heal once the bell rings again.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:23 AM
2	I'm so tired Stop having sex with her. Wtf are you doing?	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:14 AM
1	Finalized today Half the population is divorced. Of the married about half are unhappy or staying for the kids or some other reason. A failure is staying in a shit marriage. A lot of people don’t have the balls to end them. You have a fresh start. You are on the other side. Make your paradise.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:13 AM
10	Anger, resentments, regrets I have always been of the belief that closure is a false thing we expect from life. It is a figment of our imaginations. Some false fantasy we think we deserve. Say she admitted her fault—does it truly take the pain away? Are you still not left holding these broken pieces? The closure you seek comes from within. You move forward and close the door behind you. Wanting closure is walking back opening the door and peaking inside, sometimes staying there. Every step you take back toward that door is…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 10:05 AM
3	Feeling like I have lost all control of my life and what's happening in it Have either of you actually mentioned divorce? Is this a conversation you have had previously? If not, and that is your intention I would start planning ahead without her knowledge to get your financial situation positioned so that it is more advantageous to you before tipping her off. Other than that I’m sorry to hear about your ebbing marriage. Wishing you strength and resolve in whatever you decide to do.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 05:39 AM
3	Emotional blunting Look, you are in a transitional phase. The beauty of transition is you make space to welcome new things—you get to decide what that is—whether it’s a new love, a new purpose, a new passion, a new you. Don’t box yourself in with negative and restrictive thoughts. The world is abundant my friend. Emotions are temporary. What you’re feeling now will pass. I promise.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 05:35 AM
3	I won my parental alienation case Congratulations! Parents who do this deserve a special place in hell.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 12:16 AM
1	Dividing assets Take her to the cleaners for that retirement fund. The law is the law. Sell the house split the profits or losses. Fuck her. Edit: she keeps the house, 3% interest rates, increased profits/value down the line, plus her retirement fund while you get stick in a higher interest rate loan, and have to start from scratch. No fucking deal. Let her start from scratch just like you. Split assets 50/50. Don’t let her take advantage of you. You would be giving her the knife to cut you with if take that de…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 05:20 PM
–	Ex moved out left kid’s things in disarray. Common	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 04:03 PM
1	Alimony & Attorney Fee. Need advice It’s her tax filing as well. She can simply request a copy from the accountant or the IRS herself.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 10:52 AM
2	Were you paranoid about spending money on non-essentials? Fuckin low life thieves.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 03:43 AM
1	Higher earner afraid of losing big in divorce Oh man. Testament to her idiocy.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 03:22 AM
1	Higher earner afraid of losing big in divorce How long were you married out of curiosity?	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:48 AM
1	Recently Separated and My Wife May be Siphoning Money into Secret Account Don’t take this lying down. Being nice is overrated when it comes to your financial well-being. You could live to 93 and beyond like your father. Hire the best of the best. The courts will guarantee her well being based on how long you’ve been married. Don’t need to make a martyr out of yourself. Stop wasting time on reddit and hire a forensic accountant.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:29 AM
1	Money Stop giving her money. If you give her money the courts think you have extra money laying around for her when you yourself are struggling. Provide for your kids by buying things for them instead of giving her money. You are a parent, too. Keep your receipts. She can’t fucking handle them then they have a home with you. She has no expenses and her mother probably does the child rearing. Get smart. Stop giving otherwise the taking is easy.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:19 AM
4	Please help. Good she can make someone else’s life miserable. Rejoice!	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:10 AM
2	How to save for a divorce Could he be better off spending it on things he can resale later? A rolex?	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:07 AM
1	How do I plan ahead? It’s probably sorted based on hot post. Check and see. Give it a couple hours/days, someone with more experience will respond	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 02:02 AM
1	The Bad Guy Your ex wife is a bitch for putting that thought in her head. That’s alls I gotta say about that.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 01:59 AM
3	The Bad Guy Unfortunately in life the loudest people are heard, the weak will remain weak among the strong, victors write history-so many ways to say it but it’s all the same idea. In the long run the only thing that matters is you and your relationship with your kids if you have them and your self. If you bad mouth the ex, you seem like the petty one. Let her dig her own grave. Everyone reveals their true selves, and I guarantee if she manipulated you, she manipulates everyone around her and they’ll catch …	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 01:58 AM
2	Ex moved out left kid’s things in disarray. Yeah, selfish people. They don’t see or think past their fake nose.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 01:38 AM
6	Ex moved out left kid’s things in disarray. No fucking decency.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 12:59 AM
6	You're going to be just fine Everything is temporary. Temporary could be short, could be long, but it’s temporary.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/08/24 02:52 AM
6	TLDR I am sure but If you did read I could use input. Sweet summer child she told you were mature at 22 without having been in a long term relationship. She groomed you into being her punching bag. Hold your ground. She wants to manipulate you all over again. Your stbx sounds incredibly possessive and narcissistic. You deserve better. I promise you every piece of shit she throws at you is an opportunity to become a better person free from her and on to a healthier happier life. Don’t cower and don’t give in.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/08/24 06:56 PM
1	I talk a tough game You’re good now because of the distance. Some people just drive eachother up a wall and are just oil and water. Don’t forget that your circumstances now are different than when you were married. Your brain doesn’t take that into account sometimes.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/08/24 01:20 AM
1	I've been separated with no agreement for 5 years My ex just informed me she's not bringing my kid back after having him for a week for the summer and that she's filing papers for custody and registered him at a school in her county. So 7 days passed, what did you end up doing?	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 06:00 PM
1	People don’t understand the pressure Patience friend. Hang in there. Things will suck temporarily but will get better for the long term. You have a beautiful freedom filled life ahead of you. Keep your eye on the prize.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 05:57 PM
1	Feeling pathetic unable to move on. She messaged you on snapchat for a divorce bro. What are you doing to yourself? You did everything right. She took two weeks probably banged some dudes and said I think I can do better. You want someone like that as your life partner? Someone who is perpetually looking for the next best thing? You are wallowing over someone you thought she was. You were mistaken. That’s okay. We’ve all been there. Stop wasting time with what-ifs. It’s done. It is of no use to you. Take that what-if energy and vi…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 01:42 PM
1	She's the Devil Reincarnate - Never Takes Accountability What exactly is there to consider? Divorce and safety in the future or staying and being miserable with probable mental breakdowns for the rest of your life? Not to mention this person actually raising your child and poisoning them with their toxicity and general disregard for the sanctity of life. Get to an attorney. Get a domestic assault documented with the police department while wounds are fresh and photogenic. Document everything. Get the rest of your happy life started today. Every day yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 01:32 PM
2	Solo income/budgets Car? How do you see that playing out when it comes to your children, custody and visitation? Take this time to go to school and keep your income down. Once the divorce finalizes you can have more earning potential plus alimony. Take the alimony and once you can manage on your own put that money aside for your kids’ college fund. Play smart.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 01:25 PM
1	Desperately need divorce help First and foremost you are not worthless. You are a father to two children who need you. You absolutely deserve to be in your children’s lives and NO ONE has a say in that but you and your children. Why do you allow her to dictate your feelings and values to you? She’s gotten in your head so much that you are making predictions based on her perspective of you and not your own. Snap out of it man. Get to a therapist and start reevaluating your choices based on your own logic and your own feelings…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 01:13 PM
4	Divorce and the aftermath. If the divorce is finalized why are you still cohabitating? She has money to get back on her feet. You can even help her if you wanted to but get her out of your house already.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 12:47 PM
1	The way my parents raised me is why I am divorced. So F them! I mean, yes, you had a fucked up childhood, but you are an adult now. When do you take accountability for yourself? All the actions you take are driven by you. Drive them in a healthy direction. Your ex wife isn’t wrong in saying what she did and as much empathy as someone can have if they see the person not learning from it or changing their outlook on life or putting the work in guess what? They bounce. You have to feel secure within yourself and not from others. Stay on top of your finances, …	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/24 10:50 PM