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HappyCat79 Archive

View 10 posts and 1,228 comments by HappyCat79 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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I agree with this so much. So I am a survivor myself of DV and I got so much help when the abuse came to light and I believe it was due to the officer having the view that she had the duty to protect me and my children. She is my children’s school resource officer. I wish everyone had the same experience I had, and it’s why I do the work that I do today. I help others because I was helped.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 07:07 PM
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I get that. I agree that men who are victims of violence face stigma, primarily due to societal views about power dynamics in relationships and how they shame and humiliate men who don’t hold the power.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:58 PM
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Ok. Since you don’t want to have a good faith conversation about this then I won’t be responding to you anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:54 PM
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Interesting point. So should there be more oversight when it comes to police departments and DA offices to make sure they are taking every report seriously and doing a thorough investigation into what happened?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:49 PM
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Ok, rename it. I don’t care. As the law is applied, male victims are not excluded from help under the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:44 PM
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The Violence Against Women Act is a United States law, not Australian. Unfortunately, I’m not knowledgeable at all about how Australia handles these issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:37 PM
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That’s an interesting perspective for sure. I know that the DVRC where I work serves anyone and there are men in the shelters as well as women. You don’t like the power and control wheel, and I appreciate your perspective as to why. Do you have an idea on how to better understand abusive relationship dynamics?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:35 PM
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Yes, cutting the funding to this would be a tiny drop in the bucket for taxpayers- but it could be the difference between life and death for individuals who are victims of DV.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:23 PM
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Explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:10 PM
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Male victims of DV are treated the same under the law. Heck, there are men living in the shelters where I work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:09 PM
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What is your evidence of that? Domestic Violence Resource Centers have very strict guidelines governing how funds can be spent.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:08 PM
6

Bullshit!!!!! I was loyal, faithful, always initiating sex with my ex, beautiful, in great shape- and he still cheated on me A LOT. He was also insanely jealous and possessive, violent, and controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:30 PM
10

That was my ex’s perspective on things and it didn’t work out well for him. I bounced after he strangled me. I was willing to tolerate A LOT of shit in order to keep my family intact, but not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:18 PM
1

I love men! Why do you think I tried so hard to win one over, especially one who hates women?! I enjoy being around most men, and women, and people in general. I found an amazing man, but I’m not his dependent. I’m not his maid. I’m his partner and we do things together as a team. It takes both of our incomes to keep our family afloat and I like it that way. We help one another with each of our children and do things all together like a family a lot of the time. Honestly, I feel like more of a n…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:25 AM
1

Of course I don’t, unless they want to force that lifestyle on all women. MY experience personally was that I had a lot of internalized misogyny due to having a misogynistic father who never loved me. I chose a misogynistic man who never loved me and tried to make him love me for 25 years. He can’t love me because he can’t love women, same as my father. His father was also a misogynist. I’m sure there are stay at home moms who are subservient to men and those men treat their wives with respect a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:11 AM
2

I definitely settled when I was younger with my ex, but what I settled for was how I was treated. I settled for a man who was abusive, controlling, violent, disrespectful, and unfaithful. He wasn’t good looking and didn’t make a lot of money either, and he isn’t a good lover. Whenever I tried to leave him he would cry and sob and beg me to stay and I felt very sorry for him. So yeah, I did settle when I was younger. After leaving that marriage I absolutely refused to settle again. I was 43 years…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:44 PM
2

I used to be a tradwife/redpilled woman and I had that view due to internalized misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:42 PM
3

I am pointing out the logical fallacies in your argument. How does one debate something when the premise is so fundamentally flawed?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:15 PM
2

I’m actually impressed by how many logical fallacies you were able to cram into one post! This Reddit post has some issues that really stand out. First off, it sets up a straw man argument. The author claims that some women saying "you deserve better" are just pushing for superiority instead of equality, which simplifies their point way too much. It’s like they're saying, “If you’re not fighting for equality, you’re just being a diva,” which isn’t fair. Then there’s the hasty generalization. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:11 PM
3

Do you have any hard data with rigorous, peer reviewed studies to back that up?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:55 PM
2

In what ways do you believe feminism has made life worse for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:28 PM
3

Nobody is saying that we have ended domestic violence. Nobody is saying that it doesn’t ebb and flow. We all believe it is getting worse and will continue to get worse due to economic pressures. It’s well documented that during recessions, domestic violence gets worse and during economic booms, it gets better. As for abuse victims going back, yes, that happens a lot. We can’t control that. All we can do is keep trying to help people as much as we can, but we can’t do it without funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:26 PM
3

That link that you posted literally talked about power and control.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:23 PM
4

This is honestly just an example of sophistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:51 PM
2

Anecdotally, this is true. The abuse in my former marriage escalated significantly when I began to establish and hold boundaries. When I stood up for myself and my children (in a nonviolent way, I am not a violent person at all and I speak respectfully, always have) he became increasingly violent. When I was doing what he wanted me to do and giving him all the power and control, things were peaceful. He started to escalate his abuse when I lost a lot of weight and started to take better care of …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:26 PM
3

Feminism HAS improved the lives of women even if you choose not to believe it. Nobody is forcing you to vote, work, go to school, wear pants, or speak your mind freely. You can do whatever you want with your life BECAUSE of feminism. Get married, be subservient to your husband, and have 10 kids if that’s your desire. I chose to be a Tradwife in the late 2000’s because I thought it was the right decision for me. I was able to leave 2 years ago after he strangled me thanks to the DV laws and femin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:15 PM
5

It’s literally all about power and control. That’s why it’s called the Power and Control Wheel. If you have never been a victim of Domestic Violence and if you aren’t educated on the topic then you just don’t get it. I lived it for 25 years and I have taken hours and hours of classes on the subject for my job. Domestic Violence is largely about power and control.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:59 PM
2

Fact: Most of the people in the shelters that I work in are there because CPS intervened and told the parent (almost always the mother, but there are some fathers there as well) that they have to leave and take their kids into shelter because if they don’t, CPS will remove the children. Exposure to Domestic Violence is child abuse in the eyes of the law. Yeah, it’s expensive to facilitate the escape from abusive households. What is the alternative? It’s also expensive to remove children from the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:51 PM
3

I have been thinking of how to respond to this because I am both a survivor of Domestic Violence as well as a Housing Navigator for a Domestic Violence Resource Center. I object to even tying this to the feminist movement and suggesting that this is a feminist issue. Domestic Violence is not a feminist issue since anyone can be a victim of DV. We have men in our shelters along with women because men can also be abused by their partners. It happens less, but it does happen. By making this a polit…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:45 PM
3

So my partner is an emotional man who wears his heart on his sleeve. I have seen him cry more times than he has seen me cry. I don’t cry easily and he lets it all out. The first time I saw him cry was probably 2 weeks after we started dating and he was sobbing because of his son’s disabilities. His son has brain cancer and is missing a big chunk of his brain because of it, and a result he has many challenges. He has overcome a lot of them just in the last year and a half since we’ve been togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:23 PM
1

Men who can’t be emotionally vulnerable to their partners will never achieve emotional intimacy, which is the bedrock of truly healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:39 PM
10

You said that feminism wants women to be androgynous and that’s simply not true. Feminism is about women have equal rights with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 06:31 PM
12

Hahaha! I’m a feminist and I love makeup, heels, nails, hair, and dresses. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 04:52 PM
2

I have no idea. I have only ever had issues with people at work when they actually suck, but it has nothing to do with gender. I try hard to get along with everyone and focus on the work. I can say that at my last job, I got really pissed off because I had a different dress code from my co-workers. I was “spoken to” last summer for wearing a tank top with a tennis skirt and told it was “inappropriate” despite the fact that my co-workers often wore the exact same things. I just happen to have a n…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 12:06 PM
1

I was 18 and had an abusive childhood so his personality felt very comfortable to me. 😢 I know better now and have no tolerance for any sort of abusive behavior. I’m in a healthy relationship with a good man. The worst thing he has done is raise his voice when he’s frustrated and he immediately takes accountability and apologizes for it. It doesn’t happen often at all and it’s not something he is comfortable or feeling justified in doing. I would never raise my voice at him or be anything but lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 02:22 PM
5

Are you in a relationship now?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:26 PM
12

Just be in a polyamorous relationship if that’s how you feel. No need to lie to and deceive a good partner under the assumption that she will someday leave you if she finds someone better. This is the mindset that leads men to serially cheat and also keep their wives under very strict control. It’s shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 08:56 PM
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I imagine cases where there are no kids and both people worked, spousal support is incredibly rare. Hell, even cases where there ARE kids and both parents worked, spousal support is rare!!! There are also a lot of hooks to getting spousal support which is why I don’t want it, despite being entitled to lifetime support. I was with him for 25 years, didn’t work for 15 of them because he wouldn’t let me work. He pressured me to quit my job when I briefly went back to work when my older kids went in…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 11:34 AM
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I love how you simultaneously talk about men looking for ways to maximize their sexual encounters while also calling people fornicators who do such a thing. Which is it? But seriously, there are definitely more than two groups of men out there, and I think that it’s a legitimate position to say that you would rather be alone than to be in a bad relationship. I definitely don’t think that we should go back to the way things were before women were emancipated.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 05:54 PM
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Honestly, I think that insecurity is the biggest problem with relationships in our culture. Men who have lots of friends who are women should be seen as a huge green flag, not a red flag. It’s a sign that the man values women as people and not just as sexual conquests. You have to respect people who you are friends with, so having friends who are women is a sign of a man who respects women. That’s critical for a healthy heterosexual relationship. So women who don’t want their partner to be frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 01:19 PM
2

Other men or other women. My partner has more friends who are women than men and I love that he has a good support network.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 12:48 AM
1

I think this is stupid and not a way to have a healthy LTR. Being vulnerable is literally how you build meaningful intimate relationships and reinforce trust and love. Intimacy isn’t just sex, in fact, that’s the least intimate form of intimacy. True intimacy is sharing your emotions and being vulnerable with one another and then being validated and supported in a loving way. If you’re a man who is with a woman who rejects you for being vulnerable then she wasn’t going to be a good partner for y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:02 PM
3

Yup. My SO meets up with a friend of his every Friday before yoga. He brings her lunch and they eat together and talk. When he and I began dating, he told me that he thought he had feelings for someone else and it was making it hard for him to get closer to me emotionally and he wanted to be totally honest. He also said that he didn’t think she returned those feelings and that he thinks that the feelings he has are part of an unhealthy pattern of attraction towards women who aren’t a great fit f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 07:20 PM
5

You forgot the biggest flaw of all… “has a negative view of women”. The thing is, there is no shortage of women who are in relationships with very flawed men. I see it every day. Heck, my entire JOB that I get paid to do is centered around helping people- all people- but mostly women, escape incredibly flawed men who have been abusing them. Also, one person’s flaw is another person’s selling point. I don’t consider having kids a flaw at all, more of a circumstance and a responsibility, but that’…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 11:33 AM
2

I agree with this completely and also add on that men who have many friendships with women is a giant green flag. It shows that he values women as people and not simply as sexual objects. If you respect someone enough to be their friend, you view women as equal to you. Men who can’t simply be friends with women without viewing them as sexual conquests are awful partners because they will want to be above you in the relationship and they won’t enjoy our company unless you’re stroking their ego or…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:08 AM
1

It’s a hell of a lot better than kids being raised in a toxic family. When the parents are miserable, fighting, no love and affection, disrespect, disdain, contempt, hate… kids feel that and it hurts them. Sure, comparing kids in a happy and healthy nuclear family to ones who are being raised by a single parent will obviously show that kids with two happy and healthy parents who cooperate and love one another are better off than kids with a parent who is trying to do it all alone. I’d bet that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 06:25 PM
3

We split the 7 year old twins 50/50, the 17 year old twins live with me full time and the 15 year old lives with him full-time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 09:16 PM
1

It’s normal to not be exclusive with one person right away.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 08:20 PM
3

Not true! She would need to convince a judge that the father is unfit to have 50-50 custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 05:53 PM
3

50-50 is presumed in most places.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 05:52 PM
4

That should be the norm. My ex and I don’t have an official agreement and he makes a lot more than me, and has fewer expenses, but he hides most of his income and so I’m not getting any child support. It’s whatever. I’m just resigned to the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 05:51 PM
14

My partner thinks it’s hot when I do that. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I haven’t posted any photos of myself online in a long time, but it doesn’t bother him in the slightest because he is very secure. Hell, he buys me skimpy dresses and asks me to wear them when we go out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 04:11 PM
2

Sure! I’m an amateur therapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:19 PM
2

How old are you? I’m 45 and still get hit on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 09:52 PM
2

What does FA mean? I don’t think that incompatibility can be fixed by meeting in the middle. Definitely not fundamental incompatibility. If it’s a sex issue, that can be really tough because it’s a tricky subject for a lot of couples. Other than open communication where both of you are listening with the intent to understand the other person’s perspective without getting defensive and willingness to work on the problem, it’s not going to work. This is also such a hot button topic in our current …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 09:42 PM
1

I feel amazing about it. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 07:28 PM
2

It feels like low effort sometimes on my part to just whip my tits out when he’s feeling down, but who am I to argue with what works? 🤣 I feel lucky too!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 06:10 PM
1

I am happy to participate in this conversation! I appreciate the dialogue as much as you do. :-) So when one of us is in a bad mood, we tell the other. If we are both cranky and irritable which has happened before, we’re mindful and give one another grace and space. I mean honestly, just being totally honest, when he’s in a bad mood no matter what is bothering him, all I have to do is take my top off. That’s an instant cure for his bad mood. 🤣 One night after the kids were in bed he was sitting …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 05:54 PM
2

When I have that voice in my head, I speak it out of my mouth, as does he. The love isn’t unconditional at all. We love one another very much based upon who we are and who one another is. If he were to become abusive or mean, I wouldn’t love him anymore because I don’t love abusive men. If I were to become abusive or mean, he wouldn’t love me anymore because he doesn’t love abusive women. But back to the resentment, resentment builds over time when problems go unaddressed or when they are unhear…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:39 PM
1

Nobody should get into a relationship looking to change someone. It doesn’t matter what your political beliefs are! My partner and I are both politically progressive and we aren’t trying to change each other. We have both evolved for the better since being together, but not because we were trying to change one another, but because when you have someone lifting you up and supporting you in your goals and ambitions, you evolve. He has improved aspects of his life and I have improved my life signif…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 12:52 PM
1

That’s interesting! My mother’s side is very English, even though we’re American. Her ancestors were almost entirely English and the culture persisted here in Northern New England. She very much has that attitude and has always done everything around the house. I used to be like that, but not anymore. I chose happiness and am living with a Latino who does a lot of housework!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:15 AM
9

Yes. I was 18 when we got together and 19 when we moved across the continent together. He lovebombed the shit out of me and made me feel special and gave me the attention that I craved. Then he slowly started taking it away and I would have done anything to get that attention and lovebombing back. You don’t understand how the cycle of abuse works, and I hope you never do. That said, putting abuse survivors on the defensive is a dick move and I would love to see men call men out for being abusive…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 03:55 AM
7

Yup! Same! I also had a neglectful father who never loved me and a cold and abusive mother. Such a shock that I ended up being sucked into an abusive relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:37 PM
8

My ex stalked me while we were still together just to demonstrate that he would stalk me if I left him. He was near a community pool where I was with our kids and took pictures of me talking to a dad who I’m friends with who was there with his daughter and confronted me when I got home, demanding to know who my boyfriend is. Unhinged behavior. I was just talking to the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:34 PM
11

My ex wasn’t abusive until we were living thousands of miles from my family. After I broke free- 25 years later, I didn’t make the same mistake twice. I also wasn’t aroused at all. His abusive behavior made me not want to have sex with him at all. I gained 100 lbs over time. I felt horrible about myself and him. I ended up losing the weight 3 years before leaving him and he fucking hated it. He wanted me fat and unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:30 PM
1

That’s so true! I was talking to my former coworkers one morning because they were talking about their male partners being assholes over the weekend. Mine had been cranky too. Not even that bad, he was having a bad day and he immediately apologized to me sincerely and said that he was out of line for using a tone of voice with me that was less than respectful. So anyway, I said “Yours too, huh? Mine used a rude tone with me, and he felt awful and immediately apologized-“ and they cut me off and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:13 PM
1

It is, although I didn’t really need it because I figured it out before I left him. I knew I wasn’t the problem when I had healthy friendships and when I learned everything I could about healthy relationships and tried to single handedly make our relationship healthy. It became apparent that he really didn’t want a healthy marriage. He just wanted to use coercive control.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:07 PM
1

He thinks he’s lucky as hell. It’s been over a year and we have never had an argument and fuck all the time. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:04 PM
2

I cancelled a date with a man because he told me he wouldn’t have sex unless he was in a committed relationship. I was just like “Nah, man, this isn’t going to work.”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:03 PM
1

I was fresh out of a 25 year long abusive marriage so I wasn’t trying to jump back into anything immediately unless I met someone amazing, and I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:31 PM
1

That’s sad!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:30 PM
2

I suppose. I ended up getting the man I didn’t believe existed, honestly. He is everything I ever wanted and more. He says that other women didn’t want him but I don’t know why! He’s kind, loving, intelligent, respectful, vulnerable, emotionally available, emotionally intelligent, great at communicating, funny as hell, educated, successful, and handsome as hell!! He’s also assertive and confident, direct but tactful, stylish, good hygiene… just the total package- and speaking of package, he’s al…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:13 PM
0

Hey man, some of us only really wanted the warm ropes on the tramp stamp. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I ended up in a wonderful relationship anyway, but I never cried over a dude on a dating app. Not once.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:06 PM
2

I loved dating apps because I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I was certainly open to it if I met the right person, but it wasn’t my overall goal. I just wanted a good time, and it was great for that! I ended up meeting the love of my life on Facebook dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:04 PM
1

Right. He isn’t even a blip even though he’s a household name. My ex loved that asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:14 AM
3

Exactly. They’re entitled. My ex took a class voluntarily that’s focused on stopping abuse by focusing on reteaching abusers how to view others and how to be a healthier partner. He wasn’t successful with his last girlfriend and became abusive as soon as she moved in, so she moved out quickly. He hasn’t been in a relationship since and I think he is still focusing on himself and our kids and hopefully trying to learn better behavior. I haven’t asked since I wouldn’t be the appropriate person to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:13 AM
0

Kind of! Andrew Tate come to mind? He is celebrated in the manosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:55 AM
-1

I know that now, and I think more young people are learning that. I wonder if that’s what’s behind the loneliness epidemic?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:54 AM
1

Ok, so my personal story is that he didn’t start abusing me until we were thousands of miles away from my family and friends. I was 19 and it was 1998 so it’s not like there were cell phones or easy access to help online. We didn’t even have a computer. I didn’t have a car so I couldn’t just up and leave. So I decided to try to figure out how to stay safe by not doing what pissed him off in the first place. That’s really the crux of it. I spent 25 years of my life trying to figure out how to avo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:53 AM
1

Right! You are demonstrating my point for me. There needs to be way more early intervention to teach people NOT to abuse in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:40 AM
1

The problem with all of this shit is that abuse victims already blamed themselves for years which is why they stayed in the first place. I have spoken with hundreds of survivors and they practically all say the same thing. “If I hadn’t talked back, he wouldn’t have hit me.” “If I had only…” “I shouldn’t have…” “I should have…” When do abusers EVER fucking take accountability? Even in jail most of them deny it. Putting all of the onus on survivors doesn’t help abusers learn to never be abusive in…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:39 AM
0

A bike is an object, not a person. A bike can’t manipulate you and condition you to believe that the crash is somehow your fault. When was the last time a bike gaslit someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:33 AM
0

Anybody who thinks it’s cool to steal someone else’s umbrella is also an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:32 AM
3

I don’t do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:31 AM
-4

Abusers are attracted to people who have a high degree of empathy and who tend to be “fixers”. People who are socialized to blame themselves when someone else is upset and take on the emotional labor for the relationship. They also tend to be attracted to people who were abused as kids and who were taught that it’s never Ok to have boundaries. I certainly hope that younger generations are spotting abusive traits earlier on and not putting up with it! That said, it doesn’t help the abusers any if…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:30 AM
2

YUP!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:25 AM
7

This! I was in one abusive marriage and that was it. I did, in fact, “pick better” the second time around. That hasn’t stopped myself from internalizing the message that it was my fault for not walking away when I was 19 years old after he started abusing me. I thought I could help him, I felt sorry for him, I loved him, I didn’t want to abandon him, I was attached to him, I was scared of him, I thought I needed him… so much shit. I wanted to keep my family in-tact. It’s a hell that most people …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:24 AM
2

Yes, and stop shitting on men who are kind, loving, and respectful by calling them “simps”, “beta”, “cucks”, or whatever other names toxic men call good men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:21 AM
3

I’m sorry, are you suggesting that only men can be abusive? I never mentioned gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:19 AM
3

I never once mentioned gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:16 AM
4

Of course we want people to help themselves once they have broken free. Absolutely, and that’s literally the job that I get paid to do now. If we are going to end domestic violence then we need to focus on the abusers more and figure out how to stop children from becoming abusers once they reach adulthood, and framing it as “these survivors should have picked better.” is unhelpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:21 AM
2

No, victims are absolutely not accountable for the abuse that they suffered. The abuser is responsible for the abuse. Period. If a survivor learns from it and chooses better next time then that’s awesome, but it still doesn’t make the survivor responsible for what someone else inflicted upon them in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:18 AM
3

My significant other said that these guys who say this shit wonder why there is a “male loneliness epidemic”. Like maybe stop alienating women with their toxic bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:16 AM
4

We can shift the conversation to prevent abuse before it happens in the first place. Abuse happens because something in the mind of the abuser tells them that they are entitled to treat their partner abusively. The entitlement mindset can be prevented in childhood so it never manifests into adulthood. I would tell someone who keeps entering into relationships with abusive people to work on themselves before getting into a new relationship. Saying “pick better” shifts the blame onto them. Suggest…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:13 AM
3

How does that mindset hold abusers accountable for their actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:09 AM
5

LOL nope. He is 51 and I’m 45. We have been together since September of 23.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 07:25 PM
3

We met on Facebook dating. We matched each other, but yes, he asked me out first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 04:46 PM
2

That’s interesting because my children’s father was spoiled and never held accountable for anything in his life. He was also primarily raised by his misogynistic and perverted father and shockingly, he is a perverted misogynist. The man I am with now was parentified as a kid and he’s amazing and wonderful. Not saying parentification is a good thing, but it’s better than spoiling a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:54 AM
10

You should! I am with an autistic man and he is amazing. He is so respectful, kind, loving, insightful, introspective… just wonderful. My ex was autistic and was extremely abusive, hardcore red pilled- but they aren’t all like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:08 AM
5

Yes and no. My ex is autistic and he was very abusive. The love of my life whom I am with now is also autistic and he is absolutely wonderful. I also have 2 autistic sons. My older son is starting to turn out more like his father with little respect for women and unable to relate to women, which is unfortunate- but hopefully he turns it around before his personality sets in. My younger son thus far is more influenced by his stepdad and will hopefully learn by his example. My older son didn’t hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:06 AM
1

I had baby rabies BAD and I wish I’d gotten a vaccine for it. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 03:08 AM
1

I definitely don’t have time to do that. Whenever I have free time to mess around online I am too busy arguing with strangers on Reddit. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 07:49 PM
1

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:59 AM
5

That’s the thing. You can just tell when someone loves and respects you and when someone doesn’t. I am sure that your cheating ex wasn’t loving or respectful towards you! I know my ex wasn’t. His cheating I could live with, it was the constant disrespect and abuse that I couldn’t handle. That hurt me way more than his cheating did. I don’t worry at all about my man because he LOVES ME and is respectful! He doesn’t just tell me he loves me. He actively loves me through the things that he does and…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:58 AM
2

Who even has time for that?!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:56 AM
1

I don’t care. I have never looked through his social media to see who he follows. I’m secure and he makes me feel loved and special every day. He also wouldn’t be attracted to me if I was jealous or insecure. He is also not jealous or insecure at all. He doesn’t care who I talk to, follow, etc. He knows that I love him and am loyal.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:54 AM
3

LOL this is so dumb. My SO’s parents were Latin American immigrants and he is as American as I am. He is successful, responsible, and educated. These “poor immigrants” who have kids end up raising the next generation of Americans. Who cares if they are brown?!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:53 PM
5

Nobody should ever feel responsible for their partner’s emotions. It is toxic for everybody involved! Toxic for the person who is trying to manage everyone’s emotions because that’s stressful, and it’s also toxic for the person who is having their emotions managed because they aren’t free to experience their full range of emotions without having someone interfering. This isn’t meant to insinuate that you can be a total jerk, make someone sad or upset, and then say “I’m not responsible for your e…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:06 PM
–

I disagree that an attractive person can’t treat someone with deep love. There are ugly people incapable of deep love as well (like my ex). I find my SO very attractive and he finds me very attractive and we treat one another with incredibly deep love. He is a hard worker with free time, too. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:31 PM
–

Hahaha! I sacrificed every fucking thing for him and his ambitions. The only thing I would not sacrifice was my life when he started strangling me during fights that he started and insisted on having despite my attempts to deescalate. He strangled me while I cried because I was hopeless that we would ever get along and be happy. So yeah, I suppose I did leave because I didn’t get my way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 12:36 PM
1

I think the key is not getting into a relationship with someone if you can’t accept them as they are. If someone has a lifestyle that is against your values as a person, trying to make them change after getting into a relationship with them isn’t fair to either of you. You were never compatible. You can be upfront and say “I like a lot of things about you, but can’t see myself in a relationship with someone who does this” then you give them the option to quit what they are doing or not. It’s not…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 04:53 PM
1

I don’t agree with getting into a relationship with someone who has a habit that you don’t like and expecting to change them once you’re together. I think its fair to say “I really don’t feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who looks at porn, so if you want to be with me, you will have to give it up.” I quit smoking because my boyfriend said he wouldn’t date a smoker. I had only smoked for a few months anyway and wanted to quit, so it wasn’t a tough sell for me, but I thought th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 04:49 PM
2

I do not believe that every single woman is above reproach. There are women who are terrible just as there are men who are terrible. That said, to have valid complaints about ALL WOMEN, unless the complaint is about our anatomy or our physiology, then the complaint is as invalid as complaints about all men. Assuming that someone is actually attracted to and wants a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I think that lumping all members of the sex that you want to be in a relationship wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 03:13 PM
32

Maybe they’re all unsuccessful because they have a negative attitude and are stuck in a “who is the biggest victim” mindset and most people find that to be a turnoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 03:26 PM
-3

This is sooooo true! My partner and I are both neurodivergent and we are “late bloomers”, but I feel like we are both ahead of the game at least regarding our mental and emotional health is concerned. We have been through a lot but aren’t bitter about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:41 AM
5

Do you think anybody expects to have twins twice? Jesus Christ. Ok, you win! You are a far superior mother to those of us who are burnt out and exhausted by tHe lIfE wE cHoSe. Maybe you’ll finally get picked by tearing other women down for the misogynists out there. Good luck with that. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 02:11 AM
3

I don’t blame men. I do blame my ex for ruining the experience for me by being awful, but I give ultimate credit to the amazing man I now live with who has shown me love that I never thought possible. It would be stupid to judge all men by the actions of one terrible one. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 02:07 AM
3

And I can give zero fucks about your opinion or anyone else’s opinion about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 02:05 AM
7

Because being a SAHM is exhausting, thankless, boring, mundane, repetitive, isolating, and did I mention absolutely thankless? I did it for 15 years and I would never go back. It was the single biggest mistake I ever made in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:57 PM
10

I vastly underestimated how difficult it would be before I had kids, AND I had twins- twice. I’m sorry, but women can complain all we want to about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:55 PM
5

Either that or they “fail” less often because the SAHM is financially trapped. I stayed with my ex 15 years longer than I should have because I was financially dependent upon him as a SAHM.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:53 PM
3

I fix stuff around here because I am way more handy than my man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:29 PM
–

Ha! Yeah, risking your life. When a man hates you and also believes he owns you, that’s dangerous as hell. Fuck that. I just took a new job helping domestic violence survivors get into housing. Leaving abuse is what takes risk and courage. Fuck “vows”. The vows also say to love and to cherish but it isn’t loving or cherishing your wife when you treat her like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 11:20 AM
2

I think it destroys the premise that women are all hypergamous.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:34 PM
2

My boyfriend is 6 and 1/2 years older, but at our ages it doesn’t matter at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:21 AM
14

Give them time. 45 years of dealing with men’s bullshit will take its toll.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:43 AM
16

I already have the man I want. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:42 AM
28

LOL whatever you say! I get plenty of attention from men of all ages as a 45 year old. Younger women absolutely put up with shit that women my age won’t deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:32 AM
3

Women are, and why should someone stay in an unhappy relationship? Most of the women I know who left because of unhappiness alone had tried for years to communicate with their husband only to be ignored or invalidated by him. My children’s father cheated on me and was violent and that’s why I left him, but believe me that I tried to communicate with him and share how his behavior was hurting me. He would say “I disagree”. You can’t simply disagree with someone’s experience. Like if someone says …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:45 PM
1

Nope
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:30 PM
5

Depends on the man, but my ex both held me 100% responsible for his unhappiness and also refused to allow me to leave the marriage peacefully.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:15 PM
5

🤣🤣🤪🤪🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:14 PM
1

I’ll be dead so who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:13 PM
2

Oh, I’m too jaded to give a shit about this kind of crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 05:22 PM
3

How people’s values align has a lot to do with the success of their marriage long term. Someone who values materialism will be happier with a partner who values materialism than with a partner who doesn’t. Everyone wants to feel heard and respected. I wouldn’t want my SO to spend a lot on a diamond ring for me because it’s wasteful and materialistic, but if he ever proposes marriage to me I would want it to be kind of romantic where he gets down on one knee and asks me to be his wife in a heartf…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 03:29 PM
1

Yeah, I loved my ex unconditionally and it led to 25 years of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:16 PM
1

I disagree that unconditional love can only be based on familial bond. I love my stepson as I love my own kids, unconditionally, and he didn’t come out of my body. The one area where I feel differently towards him is that I wouldn’t share my chap stick with him but I wouldn’t hesitate to share my chapstick with my kids. I feel like our microflora is likely very similar because they got populated by me and have been with me their whole loves. I met my SS when he was 11 so he and I don’t already s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 02:15 PM
12

Men are more likely to stay in unhappy relationships than women are. Pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 12:07 PM
3

I don’t know, but I have a man like that and it’s nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:21 PM
3

I never did. I fantasized about it at times, but never did.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 05:58 PM
10

My ex literally justified his infidelity because I was a SAHM. I didn’t want to be, I wanted to work, but he refused to allow it. He liked the power imbalance. So glad I left him!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:27 AM
3

That was my ex’s position on it, but he was extremely possessive and it was horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:26 AM
4

I hear you. My man doesn’t like a lot of love involved in our sex life. He’s into talking dirty and being raunchy. I blame porn. I love him, though, and I like to be raunchy as well, so it’s all good.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:44 AM
6

My brain hurts. People can both see sex as something that’s fun and also cherish having a serious and loving relationship. You don’t have to “fight for the relationship” if you have good communication skills and resolve conflicts by talking and listening with the intent to understand one another. Sex is great, sex is fun, love is sacred and special and no amount of cheap sex can replace the warmth and fulfillment that comes from a loving relationship with a person who is equally committed to a h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:42 AM
7

I guess if you’re a sociopath. I am a good person because I am a good person, and when I do bad things I lose sleep over it and feel terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:56 PM
1

Don’t agree. Any relationship that has a power imbalance is unhealthy regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:26 AM
1

Maybe it depends on your age. I’m 45 and a lot different from 80 year old and 20 year old women. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:25 AM
1

Elaborate please.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:57 PM
1

Women aren’t a monolith, though. We are individuals with our own personalities, just like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 06:31 PM
3

Taking this a step further- it destroys marriages. Middle aged men who swallow the red pill become increasingly toxic to their wives since they believe that their value is increasing while his wife’s value is decreasing. It leads to a great deal of entitlement on behalf of the husband which leads to him devaluing his wife. He gets resentful because he thinks he should be banging 20 year olds instead of his 40ish wife, even if she bore him children and has sacrificed her career to raise the kids,…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 06:29 PM
3

He never did Tinder because it’s not classy enough for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 11:41 AM
2

I’m laying in bed beside a hot guy with an amazing personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 05:07 AM
11

Yes. The same guys are intimidated by women with experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:18 PM
3

No to all of this. My worth as a person, my validation as an individual, and my happiness and fulfillment comes from inside, not outside. I don’t need external validation in order to feel complete. Is external validation nice? Sure! It’s nice, but as an attractive woman, it got really old after awhile knowing that most of the men that were interested in me weren’t interested in ME, the inside me. They weren’t curious about my thoughts, insights, experiences, intelligence, inner strength, etc. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:17 PM
18

Not for a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:05 PM
24

No way. A man can be super hot but if his personality sucks then most women will lose interest fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:00 PM
33

That shit becomes unattractive really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:57 PM
1

Why? So you guys can call him a “Beta Cuck” or a “Simp” in 10 years when he still romances me? It’s not hard. He kisses my hand and arm, holds me at night in bed, puts his hand on my cheek and looks at me lovingly and calls me pretty, he loves it when I put my legs on his lap when we watch TV. It’s pretty simple stuff and is free!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:04 AM
–

Just as possible for a man to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 01:53 AM
–

This may shock you to hear, but sex can be enjoyable for women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:19 PM
–

I’ll take that a step further and say that men who expect to get sex all the time from their virginal and frigid girlfriend once he puts a ring on her finger are a special kind of delusional. How are you going to marry a woman who doesn’t like sex and then expect her to want to have all kinds of sex with you?!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:18 PM
1

Plenty of women are with men who make less than them and most short dudes have partners so 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:36 PM
–

Seriously. This is insanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:25 PM
2

Everybody is different, and things can change based on individual circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:08 PM
3

Less intelligent would depend on whether or not he is secure enough to be OK being with a woman who is more intelligent than him. I was married to a man for 25 years who isn’t as intelligent as I am and it bothered him a hell of a lot more than it bothered me. I made more money than him for much of our marriage, which also bothered him a whole lot. Shorter than me is hard because I am tiny. I don’t think I have encountered a man shorter than me many times. Now, my boyfriend is on the same intell…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:34 AM
5

I think the primary reason some people fail is because they aren’t looking for companionship with a person who they are compatible with and enjoy being around. People aren’t objects or commodities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 05:38 PM
27

Nope. I don’t freaking care. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 10:56 PM
1

Believe what you want. 🤷🏻‍♀️. https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19ZkDwuvjP/?mibextid=wwXIfr
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 07:16 PM
2

A year and a half. We have been living together for nearly a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 06:20 PM
19

This is a lot harder for women who have been socialized to believe that assertive behavior is inherently aggressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 04:59 PM
16

That was A LOT to respond to, and I don’t have time to respond to all of that. One thing that jumped out at me was wage negotiations and I do agree that traditionally, women have sucked at it. I feel like that’s one thing that feminism should address if it hasn’t already and that is how to negotiate for higher wages. I was successful at this in my job last week by putting together a document (with the help of AI) outlining what I expect, why I deserve it, why I require it, and I tacked on some e…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:25 PM
1

Can’t prove a negative, but I have had relationships with men under 6’. I’m only 5’2”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:51 PM
1

So what? I would have dated him no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:35 PM
1

He’s 6’ tall. We are both secure and know we love each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:06 PM
1

Ha! You know nothing about us. I have zero problem with him telling me that he finds other women attractive or that he would date her. We are 45 and 51.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:05 PM
3

Yes! THIS!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:07 AM
6

I have a coworker who I would 100% date if I was single and he’s maybe 5’3” and bald. He isn’t a great looking guy at all, but his personality is awesome and I feel comfortable around him. He’s funny as hell, kind, hard working (although not wealthy at all. He’s a maintenance technician.). He’s the same age as me (45). My SO knows about him and knows that I would date him if I was single and doesn’t feel threatened at all. He’s very secure which is a major reason why I adore him so much. 😍 Perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:05 AM
3

My boyfriend’s mom has Alzheimer’s so I have never seen them truly interact, but he doesn’t have a great opinion of her. He describes her as shallow, vain, and self-centered. He still has a positive view of most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:51 PM
5

Yeah, my man is 51 and I know he wasn’t born this way! I’m 45 and I’m not the same woman I was 20 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:49 PM
3

You described my man except he isn’t handy (but I am so it works out) and he has ADHD and very likely autism. I also have ADHD and very likely a touch of the ‘tism as well, but we’re both outgoing and have charisma somehow. He also does housework.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:47 PM
2

It’s none of my business. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I would rather have freedom than not have freedom.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:34 PM
1

It is because men and women are equal and deserve equal respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 02:53 PM
1

Also, I didn’t just jump into something with the first man who wanted to be with me and accept my kids. I rejected relationships with 5 dudes before I met my BF. I wasn’t going to get involved with anybody unless I really felt we would be compatible and there was something real between us. I would have stayed single if I hadn’t met someone who I felt a genuine connection with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:15 AM
1

He has a son too; and his son has serious behavioral problems and disabilities. I love him like my own kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:09 AM
3

Yup. He sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 12:09 AM
4

I have subtle purple highlights. It started as blond highlights, but when autumn came, I dyed them dark purple. It looks cool as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 12:02 AM
2

Yeah, my boyfriend was the one who bought me the purple dye and encouraged me to use it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 12:00 AM
7

Hell, I was a single mom in my 40’s and I had zero problems getting dates
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:56 PM
1

Hahahaha, my man is the most romantic man ever. He romances me every day!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:54 PM
2

LOL I came into the market as a single mom of 5 kids at 43 years old and met the absolute love of my life at 44.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:53 PM
3

Right, men can impregnate other women. Seems like a big fucking problem for a man who already has a family, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:43 PM
4

Fuck that. It’s a double standard. My ex thought he was entitled to fuck anybody he wanted, even though he’s still fertile and was extremely paranoid that I was cheating (I wasn’t) even though I was sterilized a few years ago. No reproductive reason to justify his cheating. He just felt entitled to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:42 PM
5

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you know. You can tell when your partner is happy or not. If I told you that he and I have never had a fight or an argument, that he behaves in an incredibly loving and supportive way, that he demonstrates his love constantly, that we resolve conflicts with respect and compassion by talking and listening with the intent to understand - would that convince you that he loves me as much as I love him?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 05:41 PM
2

My SO has a lot of “feminine energy” which is a great balance to my “masculine energy”. Presentation wise, I look very feminine and he looks very masculine. Personality wise, though, we fit very well because he embraces his feminine side and I embrace my masculine side. He’s perfect for me! He is confident and open, very confident- and I am too. Confidence can be feminine!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:38 AM
-4

Very smart of you! I was pretty promiscuous after leaving my ex and before meeting my BF. I worship the ground he walks on. He is such an amazing man and I will love him until my dying day.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:25 AM
6

Valuable to whom, though? I don’t want to be with a man who attaches value to my age.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:21 AM
0

Yes to Latin people looking younger. My boyfriend is Latino (Half Spanish-Salvadoran and half Columbian) and he’s sexy AF for a 51 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:20 AM
18

Men’s bodies sag. Men get wrinkles. Men get gray hair. Men’s dicks don’t get as hard or stay as hard. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 11:08 PM
–

It depends on the circumstances. If I have just started dating someone and he starts expressing love within the first week or two then yeah, I lose interest because that’s a red flag. If someone is giving me tons and tons of attention and affection early on and it seems disproportionate to the appropriate level of attention and affection you should give to a person you don’t know that well then I will get turned off by that because it’s a red flag. If I have been seeing someone, if we are exclus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:02 PM
2

I don’t like violence and I would expect us to both use every means necessary before resorting to violence. He wouldn’t just stand around in a situation like that, though. He would step in and take over because that’s his way. He is a bigger guy and can appear intimidating even though he is the most gentle soul ever. When we were first dating, I still had a PFA against my ex, and he showed up at the same club we were at one night for a Halloween party. I was in costume and he didn’t see me, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 02:12 PM
0

If I ever do need protection from a man, who is he protecting me from? A woman who wants to harm me?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:42 PM
0

I don’t need men to protect me. I protect myself. My “protector” when I was married was the person I needed protection from- and it wasn’t a fucking man who helped me. It was a woman. She is the resource officer at my children’s school, and she was the one who arrested him. A man judge didn’t grant the PFA- it was a woman judge who did. The bailiff at court who served him with the PFA wasn’t a man, it was a woman. In fact, the first bailiff at the courthouse I dealt with was a man and he gave me…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:12 PM
–

This is another reason why my man is such a unicorn. He was raised in a Latin American household (Dad was from El Salvador and came from a very wealthy Spanish family) and his mom is Colombian. He does soooo much. He does the laundry, cooks, cleans, and works. He is an active father too. He’s just so wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 01:46 PM
–

That was my grandfather on my mother’s side. He was a wicked drunk who would spend all the family’s money at the bar and then come home and beat the hell out of everybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 01:37 PM
21

I had a “hoe phase” at 43 after leaving an abusive marriage. What happened to me? I met the love of my life and man of my dreams. 😍
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:27 PM
4

Just do what my ex does and work under the table. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:26 PM
2

Amen!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:13 PM
1

I have the man of my dreams. 🤷🏻‍♀️ He is kind, warm, loving, empathetic, funny, respectful, responsible, open, great communicator, great listener, direct, honest, secure, loyal, faithful, appreciative, and supportive. He is everything I ever wanted in a partner. What works for me might not work for everybody, but I don’t feel like those standards are too much to ask for in a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:12 PM
3

He went to jail for 5 days. The charges were dropped because I refused to participate in his prosecution. Why? I didn’t want to see him go to prison. He has been polite to me since I dropped the PFA and allowed him to coparent with me. He had therapy and learned his lesson. I never wanted to take the kids away from him, but he was unstable and wasn’t accepting the fact that I wanted out. He has accepted the fact that I am out and so I will cooperate with him coparenting as long as he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 03:45 PM
14

Well, best of luck to you! I’m very glad to NOT be in a relationship with a man who minimizes what I do and expects me to be his maid as a result. Yuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:46 AM
6

I am doing sooooo much better. You have no idea how much better I am. I interview on Monday for a job at an agency that helps DV survivors. I am interviewing to work as a housing navigator and GOD I hope I get that job. Nothing would make me happier than to help other survivors, and the icing on the cake is that my ex will hate it so much. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:45 AM
11

Yeah. I went back to work when my older twins started school and he couldn’t deal with it. He said repeatedly “I am not a housewife!” Because he didn’t want to have to be responsible for anything in the home. I would have been happy being a SAHM doing all of the chores, but he was abusive a cruel. He didn’t appreciate anything I did and minimized it a lot. I left him because he strangled me during a fight that he started. I had been refusing to fight with him for months and remaining calm no mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:31 AM
12

What makes you assume that ANYBODY is JUST a receptionist these days!? Almost no company has just a receptionist these days. You have to do the reception work and then do 3 other job descriptions. I am a “receptionist” and an admin, and a property manager, and a leasing assistant, and a maintenance tech, and anything else they decide to throw at me because they choose to understaff the company.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:23 AM
10

My partner doesn’t. He works from home as a portfolio manager and probably works anywhere from 30-35 hours per week doing it. He makes more than twice what I do, but he doesn’t rub that in my face and use it as an excuse to treat me like his maid. He does more work around here than me because he is here to do it. I work more hours and I commute, and I am in a higher risk for danger industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:20 AM
14

I had this same argument with my ex-husband daily. Which is it? Super easy work that he could get done in 5 minutes, because if that’s the case then by all means- let me get a job and this super easy 5 minute work can do itself! Nope. Noooope. I had to stay home and do this easy 5 minute job because it was essential to the family that I NOT get a job because someone has to do this incredibly easy and quick 5 minute job and it’s far beneath him to do it. 🙄🙄🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 11:18 AM
–

I don’t expect a provider because I am also earning money. Unconditional love? Please. Conditions exist and I fully expect that. Protection?! From what?! What are the odds of me ever needing to be protected by him? No. I want an equal partner, and I have one!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:00 PM
-1

I don’t get why anyone would want 5 kids in the first place. I was Ok with 4- but I had to have twins twice!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 12:59 AM
11

Who was supporting abused women and kids in the 1950’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 12:12 AM
10

Not always. If your family didn’t support you then you were stuck. My dad’s mom was an only child and her dad was going to kick my grandfather’s ass if he didn’t grant her a quick and easy divorce. My mom’s mom came from a large family and her parents basically had the attitude that she picked him so she was stuck with him even if he was beating her and all the kids and spending all of their money on booze. They weren’t giving them a place to stay or money. My father’s mother was financially sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 12:01 AM
4

Control of?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:58 PM
-3

What good does it do to tell her that at this point, though? She already has the kids. I agree with you that having 5 kids is bad for the kids no matter how many men are involved. I have 5 kids with one man and I do NOT recommend it. I should have stopped at 3- or 2 since the first set was twins and when I was pregnant with them, I found out about his cheating. I should have left his ass. What good does it do to say it to someone else, though? 🤷🏻‍♀️. If she has a shred of honesty and self-awaren…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:44 PM
4

My boyfriend can be passive aggressive at times and I just lay it out there (kindly and lovingly) and remind him that he is safe telling me anything directly and if he has a problem with something I have done (or not done) to just say it. The last time he did something passive aggressive I got kind of pissed because he put the cover to the smoker on my side of the bed and it had been rained on so my side of the bed was wet. Yes, I forgot to cover the smoker after cooking- but he could have just …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:41 PM
8

I was going to say this as well. How many of us don’t want to be “the bitch”, though?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:29 PM
10

Sure, it was a thing, but it was very rare. My father’s mother left my grandfather the first time he slapped her and they got a divorce. She didn’t know she was pregnant with my father when she left him, though. It was quite a scandal. My mother’s mother and most of the other women in the neighborhood were routinely slapped around by their husbands. My ex slapped me around for years and I just put up with it because of the shame. It was much, much, much more common for women to stay in abusive m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:11 PM
4

No. I think that women have the option to not be partnered with a man who doesn’t pull his weight around the house. If you’re with a man who does no housework or childcare and also work full-time then you don’t have to stay in that relationship. I don’t know about standards for men going down since the 1950’s. Who said that they have and what is that based on?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:35 PM
21

Helllll nooooooo! No fucking way. I would be stuck with my abuser in that world. Fuck all of that all the way off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 07:33 PM
4

I don’t have adult kids, so I don’t know how I would feel if one of my theoretical adult kids did something awful like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 01:53 PM
3

That’s not true unless you mean me getting what I want meaning “Respect, fidelity, kindness, and love”. That’s what I give and it’s what I expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:13 AM
13

Bulllllsheeeeeeet! Unconditional love is for children and that’s it. If your partner abuses you, cheats on you, etc. you can absolutely fall out of love with them and it doesn’t mean you never loved them at all. My kids can abuse me and I will still love them. Hell- I love my STEP SON unconditionally and he HAS physically abused me. I have scars from his physical attacks (he is a 2 times brain cancer survivor, has autism, ADHD, Epilepsy, and ODD. He takes meds for epilepsy that make him irritabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:12 AM
6

Well, I would say the equal amount because if you are in a heterosexual relationship and both are in love then that’s two people in love. As for the sex part, I don’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:52 PM
5

I love it! I met the love of my life on Facebook dating, and I had lots of fun using Tinder before meeting him. Now, keep in mind that my love ALSO met the love of HIS life using OLD, and the men that I had fun with ALSO had fun with a liberated MILF using OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:39 PM
10

You didn’t do anything wrong. They just weren’t into you. Nobody can ever be everybody’s cup of tea.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:28 AM
12

That’s the thing. Both parties need to do the right thing and be invested for it to work. One person alone can’t carry a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:27 AM
3

Yeah, no. I fucked up and married a total asshole and shocker- it ended in divorce not without me doing my absolute damndest to stick it out with the man. My boyfriend and I both did it right the 2nd time around with each other and he is talking a lot about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. It’s been nearly 2 years since I left my ex and he isn’t making the divorce process easy at all or quick. I don’t even want anything out of the guy at all and he’s still trying to make it …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:27 AM
1

Ahhh, yeah, my boyfriend and I are both recovering people pleasers who are agreeable and kind. We have been together for over a year. My ex and I were opposites and it wasn’t awesome. 🤪. Then again, I feel like if he had someone just like him it would be a match made in hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 10:07 PM
–

What does misandry mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:24 PM
2

Don’t knock being with an opposite sex copy of yourself until you’ve tried it. My boyfriend and I are almost the same person except he’s a man and I’m a woman. I love being with someone so similar to myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:16 PM
2

This is why my BF having so many friends who are women was the greenest flag ever. I love that he generally likes and enjoys the company of women. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍. I was with a man for years who doesn’t like women (or people much at all) and it sucked. I was so lonely, unheard, unloved, unappreciated…. Such a sad life.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:41 PM
2

My boyfriend had written a list of what he wanted in a partner and god damn if I didn’t check all those boxes! It was before we met that he made the list. I wasn’t organized enough to make a list, but I knew what I wanted, and he is literally everything I ever dreamed of. I appreciate and value him so much, and he feels the same way about me. 😍
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:39 PM
9

That’s it. My boyfriend objectifies the hell out of me and is frequently groping, grabbing, making comments, etc. I can’t bend over without him making sexual comments or grabbing and dry humping me- and I LOVE IT! You know why? He is consistently kind and good to me. I feel completely safe and cherished. He will grab me and say “Mine…. All mine!” And I love it because if I am his possession then he values what he has and treats me with care. My ex treated me like shit. He treats everything he ow…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:37 PM
3

Yes. My ex was always keeping score and it felt so unhealthy. My boyfriend and I don’t do this, but if either of us feels like one of us is slacking off, we will have a conversation about it in good faith. It never turns into a fight because we love each other and are both invested in each other. It hasn’t happened much because he is a portfolio manager and he has no issue project managing me when he wants something done. 😂🤣🤪. I’m a good listener and honestly appreciate the fact that I don’t hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:37 PM
11

This is reductive. What did my boyfriend gain? Same thing I did! Love. Companionship. Someone to share things with. Help with daily living. A team mate. A best friend. A hot sex partner. Help around the house and help with our kids. (We were both single parents). He gained someone who is great at home repairs and home improvements. I gained a man who loves doing laundry and is good at it!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:31 PM
4

YES! I left my abusive husband and had a healthy, well adjusted, kind, supportive, loving, and more attractive version of him in 6 months. It’s funny how much he and my ex have in common except he isn’t horrible. I have a lot in common with his ex-wife too. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:35 AM
0

Almost nobody goes to Tinder for a real relationship. Tinder is for hooking up. 🤷🏻‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:34 AM
–

I have done this and I cannot stress enough how much I disagree with people doing this. It places WAY too much power with the earning spouse. Believe me, I was slaving away too at home doing everything and not getting a damn thing for it. Zero appreciation, zero compensation, zero power in the relationship. He literally felt like he could do whatever he wanted to do to me, like he owned me, since I didn’t earn money. It was awful. (He didn’t want me to work because he liked having the control ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 10:08 PM
1

I would give zero fucks about a mandatory DNA test. I had to get a mandatory chlamydia test when I was pregnant that all women have to get in my state. It wasn’t a choice for me. I didn’t get offended by it. 🤷🏻‍♀️. Literally zero fucks given. My ex was a total thundercunt and accused me of cheating on him several times (projecting) and I’m surprised he never demanded a DNA test. As an aside, his niece committed paternity fraud. She tricked a guy into believing her baby was his knowing damn well …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 06:46 PM
2

I feel very comfortable as a woman and have never not wanted to be a woman. I also know that I am VERY heterosexual- but that said I don’t really conform to gender roles. Like for instance I have more “masculine energy” in that I know my worth and am not afraid to advocate for myself. It was a journey getting here because of childhood and adult trauma, but were it not for that I would have always been very strong. I’m handy and good with fixing things and am not afraid to get my hands dirty. I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 05:43 PM
2

Not really! I love my kid completely unconditionally. I was more worried about their future and whether they will regret it later, but I don’t believe they will anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 05:38 PM
4

GFY
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 05:37 PM
4

THIS!!! That said, oh my GOD do I appreciate my boyfriend because he does more housework than me. Lordy do I appreciate him! He also appreciates me because I’m handy and can fix lots of things that he can’t. A few weeks ago I fixed the clog in the washing machine that he was going to hire someone to fix, and this weekend I am going to fix the leaky sink in the bathroom downstairs. I needed some advice on how to do it because I have never done plumbing like that before, but I know I can do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 04:23 PM
3

Yeah, it’s not anything I can wrap my head around, but I am old and out of touch. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I listen to this song and bawl my eyes out every time. https://youtu.be/90WD_ats6eE?si=vhPpMycgAqf6hZIL
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 04:19 PM
4

My kid is practically an adult now, my friend! Believe me, we have had many tearful conversations about this where I was resisting my child’s desire to go on testosterone. I held out for years, but spoke in good faith and tried to understand my child’s point of view. Last summer I signed off on it because my kid is nearly an adult and I’m glad that I did because they are so much happier now. I have seen a confidence that I hadn’t seen before, and my kid just seems like themselves. I don’t know h…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 04:18 PM
6

You don’t seem to understand that I am not in control of my child’s mind. They will be an adult in 6 months and I am not going to lose my child. They already have nothing to do with their father because of his lack of acceptance. They haven’t seen or spoken with him in nearly 2 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 03:29 PM
8

My kid is 17, high honors, going away to college next year to become a nurse practitioner. They have worked since they were 14 and is more mature and intelligent then most adults I know. They are kind, loving, wonderful, and accepting of others. My kid is fucking awesome. Full stop. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 02:34 PM
9

I have a difficult time understanding gender identity as a Gen X mom of a transgender 17 year old who has identified as transgender for 5 years now and has never wavered. Are their body parts those of a woman? Sure. Do they identify as one? No. I just don’t think about it much and refuse to engage in bad faith debates over it. I love and support my kid even if I don’t understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 02:20 PM
1

My ex-husband would just roll over and go to sleep. 😒
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 09:53 PM
6

Yes, my boyfriend knows that I like to cuddle after sex. If he’s too overheated then I will settle for holding hands while gasping for breath beside each other, but I would be offended if he just finished and ignored me after.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:44 PM
23

Best sex I have ever had is with my boyfriend. Why? He is a loving and attentive partner. He genuinely cares more about my own pleasure than his own, and I genuinely care about his pleasure more than my own- and I think that’s what makes us great lovers. I have been with men who are bad at sex and some of my issues are when they clearly don’t care at all about my pleasure and they just want to get off. They don’t listen, don’t let me guide anything with how things go… they just wanted to use me …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:41 PM
3

I know couples who have been together for decades, didn’t have kids, and are very happy and in love. The other thing too is that the happiest relationships aren’t just about sexual attraction and lust (romantic juice) but about friendship, emotional connection, and deep respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 11:27 AM
1

I have friends who are women and work in an office composed of almost entirely women. I get along with and am well liked by almost everybody there. I’m a team player! I just like men a lot too. They don’t gossip as much is the main reason why.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 11:25 AM
–

Yes, although my boyfriend was kind of confused. Lol he said that he was supposed to buy because he invited me and I told him that I don’t usually feel comfortable with people buying me stuff. Well, the date went so well that he invited me out to lunch after, but he insisted on paying. 🤣 He is egalitarian, but he also likes to feel like a provider. We have settled on him providing me with a sense of safety and he also really helped me a lot in rebuilding my credit score after my ex destroyed it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:46 PM
14

How do you explain all of the happily married couples who don’t have children, or the happy couples who have already had kids with somebody else then got a divorce and are on their second marriage? No intention of having any kids at all, but they are happily in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:37 PM
7

My brain hurts from reading this drivel.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:35 PM
3

That’s what the good man I’m with offers me! All of that!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:06 PM
–

When I had my first date with my BF, I showed up early to buy my own tea because I was extremely uncomfortable with men spending money on me. We live together now and he makes way more than me, but I still work my ass off to cover my bills. I demanded a raise at work today in order to contribute more. My ex didn’t want me to work and he insisted on providing for me, but he was abusive and I hated it. I will never ever be dependent on a man again. I did love him and was devoted. When we began dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 07:45 PM
8

It’s not just about being nice. It’s about being good. It’s about being an honest, good hearted, good communicator, good partner, good listener, good worker, good at financial planning, good neighbor, overall good person. There are plenty of people who are nice, but not good. There are people who are good, but not nice. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:55 PM
2

I don’t think that good men do poorly with women! Maybe they do with toxic people, but why would you want to be with a toxic person anyway? I think that good men do spectacularly well with women long-term as long as they don’t end up, marrying a toxic person themselves. I’m middle-aged now and on my second long-term relationship. My partner is a very good man and even though his first marriage did not succeed, he and his ex-wife parted ways, very amicably, and they get along incredibly well. Now…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:53 PM
4

I like most men and given a choice between being trapped in a room with men or women, I am picking men…. That said, I do what I want with my beauty for me. I am in a phase where I rarely wear makeup or do my hair anymore and I wear jeans and sweaters daily. A couple of months ago I was dolled up and wearing heels and dresses daily. It depends on my mood and how I feel. My boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful with or without makeup. As long as I get dolled up and decked out for special occasions, he’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:01 AM
–

I’m at a stage in my life where I won’t beg or threaten or anything. I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend if he didn’t care about what I said. It’s as simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 12:30 AM
2

My mom is 70 and still very sanctimonious
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 10:03 AM
6

Maybe both? They often go hand in hand
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:45 AM
3

I wasn’t like that about attraction, but I was like that about other stuff that I felt sanctimonious about. I used to look down on moms who didn’t breastfeed for example- and I didn’t even have kids yet. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:30 AM
4

I was like this in my late 20’s. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Embarrassing, but true.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:28 AM
0

Oh, I didn’t take it personally. I laughed
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:00 AM
3

Holy shit I feel attacked. 🤣. I used to be an unemployed single mom to 5 kids. I’m not overweight, and my kids all have the same dad- but I did manage to get a man and a job. Probably because I’m attractive and have an awesome personality. 🤣. The man I found is 6’, makes 6 figures, has 6”, a kid, and an awesome ex-wife. 🤪. I adore that woman!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 11:31 PM
64

A lot is immaturity. When I was younger, I felt like other people’s choices were almost invalidating of my own if they were different from mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 11:28 PM
1

I’m a devout atheist
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 10:37 AM
2

Ok, speaking in general terms, in general, I tend to get along better with men than with women. What I like about men is that they tend to be more direct in their language, which I like because I don’t do great with indirect communication. I take what people say literally most of the time. I also find men to be much less likely to gossip and repeat things that I say. They aren’t in competition with me so they’re less likely to stab me in the back. I’m not competing with anybody for anything anyw…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 11:25 AM
3

“Post-Wall” 🤣. Lordy. I’m 45 and still get attention from men of all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 02:56 AM
2

Just asked him. He said to make sure it isn’t on a night where our kids will be here because he isn’t babysitting. 🤪🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 02:54 AM
2

Oh, please. We have both been married before. We aren’t kids anymore. We aren’t looking to “start a family” or any of that happy horseshit. BTDT.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 02:53 AM
2

I’m trying to think of a scenario where it would come up. The only thing I can think is if there was a snowstorm that came through while I was at work and I wasn’t able to get home safely at the end of the day and I was offered to stay with one of the dudes I work with who drives a truck and has an apartment less than a mile from the office. He would 100% want me to stay with him rather than risk my safety on the highway. He trusts me. A similar scenario happened a year ago when we had a crazy s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 10:50 PM
2

Not everyone. There were still men and women who never married.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 09:56 PM
3

Ridiculous take. My boyfriend has lots of friends who are women as well who he shares his feelings with and I love it that way because being someone else’s sole source of emotional support would be exhausting. It’s the same for him. He doesn’t want to be the only person I ever talk to. That would be completely exhausting. I trust him and he trusts me. I don’t expect you to understand it. 🤷🏻‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 05:09 PM
3

Where is the proof that men got laid or got more dates 100 years ago?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:43 PM
1

He doesn’t find me annoying, I’m not misandrist, and he has a kid too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:36 PM
1

Ok, yeah, not a very reliable poll. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:35 PM
1

How often do you get into fights!?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 03:19 AM
6

This is such utter bullshit. I have plenty of friends who are men that aren’t “backup” because I am deeply in love with my man, and I am perfectly content being alone if something happened between us. 🙄. I don’t NEED to be in a relationship to be happy. I’m with my love because I want to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 03:14 AM
4

Friends are friends no matter what sex they are. If someone doesn’t value women as people and can’t be friends with them, they shouldn’t be dating them because clearly they don’t value women enough as people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 03:12 AM
1

I’m trying to wrap my head around this question. In what ways have you benefitted from having any friends at all be they men or women? The same benefits you get from friendships with men, you get from friendships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 03:10 AM
6

I don’t think that’s a political thing. My boyfriend and I are left of Lenin and are very much of the mindset that our feelings are our responsibility to manage. Anecdotally, my conservative ex was way more emotional than me and expected me to manage his emotions constantly. It was exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:10 AM
1

I don’t give a rats ass about the TikTok. I think women are generally more attentive, although my boyfriend is very attentive and I feel blessed to have a man like him. I think women and girls and socialized to be more attentive from childhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 09:11 PM
1

That’s good. Just saying “Til death do us part” isn’t literal. (I only say that because my ex-husband was an 8 out of 10 on the Mosaic Test for Domestic Violence- and he had strangled me in rage because I cried after he said something incredibly hurtful, and he was making threats to burn the house down with the kids and me inside, and well, to be blunt- he was going to kill me. He both hated me but also felt that he owned me. Deadly combination. It’s Ok to break that vow when your husband is an …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 12:19 PM
1

As someone who was in an abusive marriage to an insecure and controlling man and had to leave after his violence became completely out of control, there is nothing unfortunate about being with a good man. If you ask him to hold you accountable he probably will. My partner and I hold one another accountable equally- which is a lot healthier than a one sided control thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 12:12 PM
2

But why would you want to be with a man that insecure and controlling? It’s not about social media, it’s about healthy relationship dynamics. A demand like that isn’t healthy or safe, and a demand like that is a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:41 PM
2

Why would you want to be with a man that insecure and controlling?!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:34 PM
3

Yet you are also on social media, also addicted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:33 PM
3

Yet here you are on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:32 PM
1

You have the freedom to get off social media whenever you want. You don’t need your husband to tell you to deactivate it. You have free will.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:28 PM
1

Yup! Called it!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:26 PM
3

That’s a 100% guaranteed way to end up completely alone. My ex had that same view despite having a loyal, kind, beautiful and devoted wife. He never trusted me, was completely disloyal to me (and I was willing to live with it!) and his abuse and violence drove me away. His worst fear came true, because of his behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:25 PM
1

I would support that as long as there is proof. My ex has told lots of people that I cheated when I never did. It was pure projection on his part! He was the one who cheated on me for years and years. I also wouldn’t punish people who were the person who the cheater cheated with, because that’s usually the only proof of cheating. The only person who owes loyalty is the person who is in the relationship. It takes balls to tell someone that their partner was cheating with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:58 PM
6

That was me and it was horrible to realize that he didn’t even like me. (he is into men but still won’t admit it. I found his ads online asking for anonymous sex with men.).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 06:30 PM
3

You have the right to have that preference. I post what I want and so does my dude. I deactivated my FB recently because I wanted to, but I will put it back up again. He took a photo of me on my birthday that I thought was pretty hot and he posted it on his own page. 🤣. I made it my profile pic for a few weeks, but switched back to a photo of the two of us because I’m proud to show off my man. Every time one of my friends who knew me when I was with my ex sees my man they say “Damn! He’s HOT! Ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:09 PM
1

Honestly, I had a pretty active “hoe phase” after I left my abuser and it still boggles my mind that I didn’t come across a single man who WASN’T circumcised. I did come across a whooooole lot of men with some form of sexual dysfunction be it ED or DE. My own partner hates that he was circumcised and believes it’s why he struggles so much to ejaculate. He is as against it as I am… and it’s weird that he was circumcised because his parents were immigrants from El Salvador and Columbia. You would …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 01:51 PM
2

Damn. I feel old AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 03:37 AM
2

Wooooow! Nice assumption there! It was actually my mother who was abusive along with my older sister. What pushed them to it? I guess I was born. My bad! Man, you probably think you’re a “nice guy” too. My father has never hit me, never punished me once, never even yelled at me. He didn’t care enough about me to do anything at all to me, for me, or with me. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 03:37 AM
13

Puke! Why would any woman sign up to be controlled like that?!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:16 AM
0

Hey, how about we say NOBODY fights and dies in wars anymore?!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:12 AM
1

I agree that MGM should be a crime. It’s disgusting and awful. For the record, I did NOT allow that to happen to my sons. Their dad wanted our first son to have his genitals mutilated but he was born on Friday night and we were home by Sunday afternoon and they don’t mutilate babies on the weekends at that hospital. I told his father if he was so dead set on having it done, I couldn’t stop him from making the appointment and bringing him in, but he decided not to. When our 2nd son was born 8 yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:11 AM
10

Isn’t that up to the couple to decide, though? What if he gets turned on by the idea of other men finding his partner sexy? If you don’t want a woman who posts “thirst traps” then don’t date women who do that stuff. Don’t get into a LTR with a woman who does that and then expect her to change for you. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:08 AM
1

Is that Misandry or Misogyny? Some argue that not allowing women on the front lines of war is Misogynistic rather than Misandrist. I’m against war in general. I don’t want anybody to be fighting or dying or killing or any of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:54 AM
7

I would only do it if we were doing it because we both felt like we were spending too much time using it. It couldn’t be due to insecurity on either of our parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:53 AM
16

He is going to ignore it as a “deflection”.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:51 AM
12

Oh, I do! They are out there! It’s funny, though…. My ex was furious with me when I deactivated Facebook toward the end of our marriage. Why, you ask? He thought that people would assume he made me do it. Why did I deactivate it? I was sick of his fucking constant accusations that I was using it to cheat on him and get attention. I was just like “I am definitely not cheating and let me show you how little I care about you”attention” on FB. Boom. Gone.” He was like “People are going to think I’m …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:41 AM
18

Isn’t it funny!? My ex has a dog training business and he uses social media as his main form of advertising- but since he’s a man, it must be legit. No woman could ever run a business! Why, our pretty little brains would melt! Jesus tittyfucking Christ.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:36 AM
25

Hahaha. Of course not! Rules for thee but not for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:35 AM
8

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody that controlling. That is the biggest turnoff to me, so yeah, I would be like “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass, motherfucker!” One of the things that my SO and I value the most about our relationship is our autonomy as individuals. He would be as repulsed by a demand like that as I would. Like what the hell would the point of that even be? It has nothing to do with validation. I just deactivated my FB account recently (my choice, I didn’t even …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:28 AM
0

Oh word! I agree 100% and have zero patience in my own life for men who can’t talk about their feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 07:01 PM
9

And he is, he is trying, and it’s painful, and he is working through the pain. Why shit on him?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 06:55 PM
2

I’m confused. What are you saying? Are you saying my partner is abusive because he calmly and gently told my son to stop giving me shit constantly and hurting my feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 06:52 PM
-2

No, men are still shamed by their fathers for expressing their emotions openly. Not all, but many.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 05:00 PM
3

Hahaha, Ok. Who said that I don’t prioritize their needs? It’s about balance! I think you’re projecting a whole lot on me without knowing me at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 04:59 PM
3

Well, I have never once believed that my kids are more important than anybody else in the world and yes, I am trying to raise them to be good and productive members of society, not self-absorbed twats who think they are more important and more special than everyone else. It sounds like your mom did her best but somehow still ended up raising a self-absorbed person with a chip on his shoulder. Sad. Do you have siblings, and if so, how did they turn out? I have two sets of twins and a singleton, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 04:46 PM
1

I plan to do that. It’s hard being 15.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 02:53 PM
2

You know what, he can look at his father and see what being a misogynistic dick gets him or he can look at his stepdad and see what being a kind and loving partner who treats his mom like an equal partner gets him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 02:52 PM
1

Um, what?! Trying to teach my son how to treat his future partner makes me a bad mother? Um, Ok. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 02:50 PM
8

Yup. Dudes like this make awful partners and then feel “blindsided” by divorce and/or don’t get why their wife doesn’t want to fuck when they offer nothing in the area of emotional intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:32 PM
11

THIS! My ex cheated on me relentlessly and when I decided I no longer cared, somehow that enraged him even more. 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:31 PM
3

Who cares?! Like who cares? People can do whatever they want. String a woman along if it gets your rocks off. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:29 PM
2

Ok, Sharon Osbourne said something idiotic and was called out by Sara Gilbert. The perpetrator is in prison. It’s not like she got away with it. Did some talking heads say something stupid? Yes. Did Catherine Kieu get away with it? NO!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:28 PM
1

If a woman or anybody else harmed my son I would go apeshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:23 PM
5

It’s funny, too, that was the same attitude my ex had. He would slap me and then complain that I was victimizing myself and playing victim and refusing to hold myself accountable for his behavior. When he cheated it was because I was too boring or because he was entitled to as the breadwinner. It was never his fault, always mine. You sound like a typical abuser, except you are bitter since you can’t find a suitable victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:20 PM
5

Funny how you put more blame on me for “choosing wrong” than on the douchebag who abused me despite my being a loyal, faithful, kind, and hard working wife. Tell me more about how women never take accountability while you place 100% of the blame on me for what my ex did to me. Zero accountability for him, no, just me. Why? Because you believe YOU are a “nice guy” and feel bitter about women picking assholes who are better at manipulating women than you. Get some charisma and better at manipulati…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:07 PM
3

He isn’t hurting my feelings. I have thicker skin than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:00 PM
3

I’ll bet you think you are a “nice guy” and women who should “pick better” should pick you! Right? Do you think you’re one of the good ones or do you think you’re an asshole?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 11:59 AM
1

He is not. I don’t believe in MGM.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 11:57 AM
3

I really hope this is just a phase
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 01:52 AM
4

I was 18 and was abused as a child so it felt normal to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 01:51 AM
23

He goes to weekly therapy now. His therapist specializes in teenage boys and brings him out into nature during their sessions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:44 PM
8

Well, I just did some reading and I think that you have a valid point about misandry and how it’s problematic, but I hope we don’t fall apart when we talk about what it looks like on a large scale. I think that it’s horrible the way men are taught that they shouldn’t be vulnerable or express their emotions, for example. I don’t like how men are taught that they’re only valuable as providers and protectors instead of as human beings. I don’t like the way men are taught and socialized to be obsess…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:39 PM
8

I’m not a misandrist at all. I feel safe and comfortable around most men. I’m asking seriously so that I can know how to fight back against misandry. What are some examples of how men are at risk because of misandrist policies or cultural norms? It’s interesting that your main example is that if men feel alienated, they’re more likely to hurt women. That’s telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:16 PM
1

What are the real life consequences men face because of misandry?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:42 PM
3

I can say that when my older kids were school age and before the 2nd set of twins was born and when my ex and I got along pretty well, it was tit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:40 PM
7

I taught all of the kids to appease. I appeased and appeased and twisted myself into pretzels trying to make that man happy but it was never enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:29 PM
3

It’s horrible and heartbreaking. His dad HAS come a long way and has worked hard on himself. He has improved a lot and has been respectful enough since I dropped the PFA against him- but the kids need to respect the fact that I can never ever go back to him. I just can’t, and that has to be Ok. People have divorced for less than this and their kids came to terms with it and respected their parents decisions. If anybody should get a pass to not forgive and forget it’s me for the hell I have been …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:27 PM
6

He made sure I knew damn well it was all his money. I wasn’t allowed to rest. I was on my feet 7 days a week from 6AM to 10PM because making everything from scratch includes a lot of meal prep during the day while the kids are at school.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:15 PM
9

He has a therapist who he sees weekly who goes out into nature and specializes in teenage boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:12 PM
9

Yes. He has weekly therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:10 PM
10

He wants to live with his dad. His dad is one of those paradoxes who is a decent enough father but an abusive partner. It’s a very long and complicated story but I couldn’t do it alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:09 PM
31

He’s mad at my SO now because he stuck up for me this past weekend. My son was giving me shit once again and I excused myself to cry in private. My SO saw and he told my son that he was being unfair to me and that if he wants to direct his anger at anyone, he should direct it at his father who abused me and put me in the position where I had to leave. My son never saw anybody defend me like that so he didn’t know how to take it, but he’s pissed off and is calling my SO “toxic”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:59 PM
17

My heart is so broken for my sweet boy. I love him so much but feel like I have lost him. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:56 PM
7

Three of them are teenagers now and nearly adults. The youngest are 7 year old twins and when they aren’t in school and I’m at work, they’re at their dad’s house either self-entertaining or being looked after by one of their siblings or my ex. He opted for that rather than childcare. But either way, unless you have been a SAHP, you don’t know what it’s like. It’s a 24/7 7 day a week job where you get no appreciation, no pay, no bonuses, no breaks, and you are supposed to be invisible and quiet a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:54 PM
2

I can since it’s legal where I live, but I don’t because I don’t want to. The only time I ever exposed my breast in public was when I was nursing my son. It was exposed for a very quick period of time while he latched on, and then his head covered all the important parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:42 PM
85

This is a sensitive topic for me because my teenage son has been giving me sooooo much shit over leaving his father, despite the fact that his father was abusive and unfaithful to me. He once caught his dad slapping me around and started recording with his phone, my ex saw him and attacked our son and made him delete the video. My son now claims to “not remember” despite all the other kids and I remembering clearly that night. His view is that I made a commitment and I need to stay with his dad …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:38 PM
5

I have never been misandrist and I generally like men. I don’t think misandry is a societal problem at large. I am trying to raise my boys to not be misogynistic assholes, to not be predatory, and to view women as human beings worthy of respect. I see the whole whining about “misandry” whenever women’s issues are discussed as a form of misogyny and erasure of women’s struggles. I am a lot more worried about my son growing up to be a misogynist than I am worried about him being a victim of “misan…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:30 PM
1

You assumed it took 2 years to file because of 127 dollars. I didn’t say that, you did. You just want to have a fight. I’m not interested. Believe what you want to believe. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:31 PM
1

I had a restraining order against him as well as a PFA. I dropped it because our teenage son missed him and because I need his help with the kids he made with me. You were the one who brought up money. You’re right about not knowing a lot about divorce but each state is different. Life is a lot messier and more complicated in the real world then it is in theory. Point is, just because women file most of the time it doesn’t mean that the men are all innocent victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:56 PM
14

Hahahaha I have been a SAHM to 5 kids and I work in an office now and working in an office even doing the job of 2 people is sooooooo much easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 11:39 AM
3

Wrong. You are committed to misunderstanding what I’m saying, which I have lots of experience with a man doing to me. I don’t need or want sympathy and don’t expect it here. I was just trying to get you to understand that just because women are more often filing for divorce, it doesn’t mean that the men are innocent victims- just that they’re lazy or want to keep the women that they have abused and treated like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 11:37 AM
2

No, you need him to get served before you file. I tried to save money by doing it myself. Also, I want to leave him because he abused and cheated. You act like me filing means that I’m the bad one who is leaving the poor innocent wronged man who cheated on and abused his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 11:11 AM
4

Yeah. I just don’t dig guys who have negative opinions about women in general. BTDT and didn’t enjoy it. I’m with a man who likes and appreciates women and has many friends who are women. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:32 AM
1

Well, he is older than my ex by around 3 years. Same height, bigger build, though. He’s Latino (1/2 Spanish and 1/2 Columbian born in Boston to immigrant parents), he’s handsome and dark and kind. He’s progressive but at 51 he is solidly Gen X so not too “woke”. He’s a nerd but cool, fun, funny, high libido, generous lover… he is a portfolio project manager. My ex owns his own business so their incomes are similar but my BF is much better with money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:15 AM
7

Yeah sure. Maybe. I don’t care. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now (met 6 months after I left my ex) and we have never fought or argued. We love each other and respect one another. We value one another and appreciate one another and we are happy together.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:03 AM
12

Oh my God. You act like one person alone can fix a broken marriage. It doesn’t work that way. Both people need to be invested in resolving conflict. I did everything I could and learned everything about healthy communication in relationships. He was committed to NOT understanding me and NOT resolving conflict. You have no idea how frustrating and disheartening it is to be desperate to save your marriage with a man who hates you. He hated me and told me so. He woke me up at night saying he should…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:57 AM
16

Screw that! Screw that and screw him. I gave him 25 years of chances. There’s no way I’m ever going back to a man who cheated on me for 15 years, degraded me, abused me, treated me like absolute crap, used me as an emotional punching bag, and told me every day how worthless I was to him. I gave that man five children and 25 years of my life! Nooooope. That’s not how you treat somebody that you love. I’m with a man who loves me now. I know what it feels like to actually be loved by somebody. I kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:41 AM
18

Well, I don’t know, but I feel like if you’re cheating on your wife and you’re hitting her and abusing her you’re kind of sending the signal that you don’t want to be with her anymore. I did put together the paperwork, but he refuses to sign off on it so that I can send it in. I’m going to have to have him served via sheriff.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:33 AM
3

I definitely wasn’t looking for anything serious with a dude in his 30s. I did eventually meet somebody who I was able to settle down with. He’s 51.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:32 AM
5

Most of the guys who I dated, who were younger than me, said that women their own age were not serious, immature, shallow, hoes, etc. I’m 45 and they were in their 30’s. It was a turnoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 09:50 PM
14

Right!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:59 PM
6

Which one of them has the more interesting personality? Which one does he have more in common with and which one can he call his friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:57 PM
22

I had the opposite experience where I dated younger guys who would talk crap about women their own age. I just find it gross when men talk crap about women in general. I am very much like other girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:30 PM
39

I have been waiting almost 2 years for my ex to file for divorce and he won’t do it. I finally prepared the paperwork, attempted to serve him, and he refused to sign the papers. 🤦🏻‍♀️ What am I supposed to do?! Just never file and let him keep dragging his feet? I left because he assaulted me badly when I was crying about how I felt hopeless about our marriage, the asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:19 PM
0

It’s wrong for anybody to hit anybody else- full stop. Now tell me how many men are murdered per year by their women partners vs women killed by their men partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 02:39 AM
1

Wow, I never imagined I would be called Lucky for being in a relationship where I was abused and violated. I never imagined I would be called lucky because my husband put his hand around my throat, tip me back in a chair, and pinned me against a sideboard all because I said that I had no hope that we were ever going to get along through tears. My crying and hopelessness enraged him so he lashed out violently. Never thought I would be called lucky for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 11:43 PM
4

This is my ex. He was arrested for DV against me and he had the nerve to whine about it to me, complaining that a woman refused to date him because she found his arrest record. Like boooo hoooo maybe next time don’t commit domestic violence aggravated assault against your wife!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:09 PM
0

No, I do stand corrected, but I just want to remind you that when you’re accustomed to privilege equality feels like oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 02:45 PM
7

I’m sorry, but women are not put on earth to be slaves to men just to make your lives easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 02:42 PM
3

I can confirm this as someone who works in affordable housing. The waiting lists are years and years long. I talk to disabled homeless people daily that I can’t do a damn thing for, and there aren’t enough private charities available to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:29 PM
9

There is nothing stable about a family where a woman is financially trapped and living in servitude. Been there, done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:26 PM
0

Between the lines. So is that your answer?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:19 PM
3

Name one
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:08 PM
2

Is your answer to stop educating and allowing women to work?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:05 PM
–

So you are oppressed because women have equal rights in deciding who we want to date?! Jesus Christ.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:37 PM
0

I don’t know. My ex isn’t as physically attractive as me, and he’s an asshole- but he has a big house that he owns free and clear and his own business. Almost 2 years after I left him, he is still single. I’m attractive for a 45 year old woman, especially for the area that I live in- but I was a single mom with 5 kids, 4 of whom are autistic, hadn’t worked in 15 years- had no prospects, and I found an amazing man who is literally everything I ever wanted 6 months after leaving him. We live toget…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 07:25 PM
6

Agreed!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:00 PM
1

That is controlling and not Ok. Red flags allllll over the place.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:59 PM
2

Women didn’t “select men” historically. Men took the women they wanted and/or fathers selected a man for his daughter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:21 PM
7

ROTFLMAO at the idea that people in their 40’s and 50’s aren’t also part of hookup culture. 🤣 When I was single at 43 and like 6 weeks into being 44, I was tripping all over the dicks dudes were trying to give me, some as young as 19! I didn’t go that far, the youngest guy I smashed with was 32, but yeah- I was far from “too old” to get laid. I also found the love of my life and am enjoying my life with him immensely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:22 AM
6

Nobody has to “justify their promiscuity” to anybody. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:17 AM
2

Neither! Each person is responsible for their own happiness. Looking to someone else for your happiness is toxic and guaranteed to make you miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 12:22 AM
3

They don’t stay good. My ex had a wonderful wife, but I couldn’t take the abuse anymore, so I left him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:12 PM
11

It may not affect your ability to get laid, but it will affect your ability to have a successful LTR with a woman. I don’t get why men who hate women still want to date us. I really believe most of them are repressing their homosexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:10 PM
-2

Yup!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 06:30 PM
9

I’m sexy in general so I could be wearing jeans and a tee shirt and have men checking my ass and boobs out. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I have a body and don’t want to wear a potato sack.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 11:55 AM
1

Being open to a LTR and not actively seeking one while dating isn’t the same as doing nothing. It just means that you go on dates, meet new people, and when you meet someone who you slowly develop real feelings for because you click so well and have so much in common, your chances improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 05:32 PM
1

None of that refutes my original point!!!!! People can DATE without actively dating for the sole purpose of finding a LTR. Let me say it once again- Be OPEN to a LTR if you meet the right person, but be good on your own, that way you don’t end up either desperate or settling for someone who isn’t a great match because you don’t want to be alone. This goes for men and women. Some people are actively NOT looking for a LTR and that’s fine too. They should be open and honest about it from the get go…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 05:29 PM
0

Like I said, we started out casually dating and were not LOOKING for a LTR- but were open to it if we met the right person. We were BOTH looking to 🍆🍑. He matched me, I matched him back, he asked me out, I showed up early and bought my own tea, we had a lovely conversation and discovered that we have a lot in common, he then asked me to lunch so I agreed and we walked down the street together to a restaurant for lunch and he insisted on paying for it and I was like “Kind of out of my comfort zon…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:42 AM
6

Why not bring the kids camping? Give mom a break. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:27 AM
5

That’s what I do when I want to go to the beach and my SO doesn’t. I bring the kids when they are with us for the weekend.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:24 AM
1

Hahaha, it’s opposite with my SO and me. I was the outdoorsy one and he is the city guy. We compromise as much as possible where he does kayaking with me and I do city stuff (bars, nightclubs) with him. I’m easy going and laid back and only get crabby in the summertime when he never wants to hit the beach with me, but we compromise and hit the public pool instead. He did go to the beach with me once last summer and I made it worth his while by having sex with him inside a little tent right on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:23 AM
-1

Uh, I’m not nothing and that was my SO’s mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:17 AM
0

Maybe because they are too eager to get into a LTR instead of just letting things happen on their own? Once I embraced the idea that I am good on my own and that I am OPEN to a LTR with the right person rather than actively seeking one out, I met someone with the same mindset as me. We started out as friends (with benefits) and we fell in love. We get along so well- are best friends, and are so happy and healthy together.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:50 PM
5

I have two sets of twins and a singleton in the middle. 🫣. I’m drowning.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 02:24 PM
–

I forget too, that a lot of men don’t like it when women are intelligent or witty, let alone funny! My ex was extremely threatened by that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 02:23 PM
–

WTF??!?!!!! Or maybe a woman has a personality because she is witty, intelligent, and cool while also attractive?! Holy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:31 AM
–

This is why I refused to get involved romantically with a man who I didn’t have a solid foundation of friendship with first. When the lust dies down and the novelty wears off, genuinely LIKING and being FRIENDS with your partner is super important.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:29 AM
8

I trust my partner now, and he would never encourage me to quit working- ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:24 AM
1

I know. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:23 AM
15

Sure. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s a stupid idea for any woman to sacrifice their financial freedom. Better to not have kids all together if both parents working is so terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:21 AM
7

Well, if my ex hadn’t been such a violent asshole, I would still be there being a SAHM.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:19 AM
6

Yeah, 100 years ago my great-great grandmother had a horse to get her around. People still had transportation. I agree about public transportation, but good luck with that. Good luck affording to live in a metropolitan area and raise a family on one income.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 01:13 AM
8

This is why I am so proud of my 15 year old son who amongst my teenagers is the cleanest, most considerate, and does the most chores by far. My teenage daughters are slobs and I am just like WTFF?!??
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:15 AM
6

You need two cars unless you either live in a city or you don’t want to ever bring your kids out to socialize during the day. Even when I stayed home, 2 vehicles was a must.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:14 AM
24

I would never do it again and I strongly encourage all young women to work. My ex had the notion that because he worked and I stayed home (by his insistence) that he was entitled to cheat on me all he wanted. He legit acted like he was above me and had more rights than I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:09 AM
12

Screw that. I was a SAHM and my kids are not better off for it, and neither am I. I fucked my career and my kids would have benefited from being in a more structured childcare setting instead of being with me all the time. I spoiled the shit out of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:07 AM
12

And who can blame them. I am a mother and I am a huge advocate for people NOT having kids. It’s fucking impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:03 AM
19

People who make 30K typically qualify for subsidized housing, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Wait until those programs are eliminated and see how “fine” the kids turn out when they are literally starving.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:00 AM
-1

So women should be disempowered and oppressed? No thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 11:55 PM
2

My partner and I are both middle aged and on our 2nd LTR. We both realize that it takes effort and communication from both sides to maintain this level of happiness and connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 07:41 PM
6

Sounds like my man who does all of our laundry, dishes most days, and is amazing in bed and has as high a sex drive as I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 11:06 AM
2

Yeah, one thing has changed- my divorce from my ex isn’t final yet, even though we have been separated for nearly 2 years now. It has become an emergency at this point so he and I have got to come to an agreement. If they passed laws banning unmarried people from cohabitation then he and I would get married, assuming they allow inter-racial marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 11:04 AM
3

I have a progressive man already. No need to change anything. I wouldn’t date a Trumper. I was married to one and it didn’t work out well for me. Honestly, from my experience, the conservative men I have dated have been incredibly intimacy avoidant and insecure about their masculinity, so no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 11:01 AM
–

Women can get that companionship from each other, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 02:42 AM
–

Not that different from MGTOW. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 02:40 AM
–

Some advice from an older woman who has every excuse to be cynical and jaded after pouring everything into a marriage with a terrible person who took a giant shit on all of my efforts- You don’t have to close yourself off. You just need to have boundaries while remaining open to the right person when she comes into your life. Take things slow and maintain your boundaries. Make a list of what you want in a potential mate, and hold true to those values. You will have disappointments when you think…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 11:14 PM
–

Ughhhh, people pleasers whether they are male or female are much more apt to end up with narcissistic assholes who will take advantage of their kindness. I think I got triggered by your “kiss their wives asses” comment because that’s what my ex used to say when I would just ask for basic respect and decency from him. He would say “I’m not going to kiss your ass.” I have a man now who literally kisses my ass. If I wear a skirt or short shorts around him, he is going to find my booty and kiss it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 10:56 PM
–

Sometimes you just want to fuck and aren’t looking for a relationship. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:54 PM
–

I think that the premise is flawed, because having a high body count doesn’t necessarily affect a woman’s ability to pair bond. I’m 45 and was with my ex for 25 years- one person, and I don’t feel that we bonded in a healthy way- it was more like a trauma bond. When I finally left due to escalating violence, part of my healing process was having sex with whoever I felt like having sex with. I am now very pair bonded in a healthy way with an amazing man. The emotional connection is what has bonde…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:52 PM
23

Yup. After my ex began consuming misogynistic online content like Andrew Tate, he became increasingly violent and abusive. I left after he put his hands around my throat. I think he would have killed me if I hadn’t left when I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 12:35 AM
13

The way I treat others isn’t a reflection on them, but a reflection on me. In my job, I help homeless people access housing. I helped a woman today who was saying hateful things about immigrants, and I find her views repugnant, but I still helped her because she is a human being and I am here to help human beings access housing. If I stopped helping people because I may help someone who has views I disagree with or find repugnant, it would say more about me than about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:30 PM
3

Yelling can absolutely be abusive. I don’t believe my partner was trying to be abusive towards me, and him raising his voice was very brief, but I didn’t take it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:26 PM
3

Yeah, I felt very trapped. I left because I felt that my life was in danger. We coparent fine now, amazingly, but it was terrifying when I left him. Thank you for the well wishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:25 PM
4

Honestly, the emotional abuse was the worst. I would rather someone slap me than scream at me or disrespect me. My partner raised his voice at me once and I told him that the next time he feels like he wants to yell at me, he should slap me instead. He hasn’t done it since. It’s a huge problem for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 10:19 PM
15

Cheats. Hands down. I put up with cheating for 15 years and eventually grew to not give a rats ass about who he had sex with. I left because of domestic violence. He never put me in the hospital, but he put his hand around my throat the last time he assaulted me and I was gone 3 days later with all of our 5 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 09:09 PM
5

I was married to a man who went off the deep end with misogynistic views, worshiper of Andrew Tate. It didn’t make me jaded at all. I still dated after leaving him, but was selective about who I got into an actual relationship with. I found a man who loves and respects me, and has many friends who are women. He appreciates women as sentient individuals and not just walking vaginas. I feel like I found a unicorn, but I will take it!!! I love my man. 😍🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 01:32 PM
1

I don’t know. I mean, in time you would learn what the other person likes and doesn’t like and if the love is still there then it’s a better long-term investment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:06 AM
8

Regardless of sex, I would rather be with the person who loves me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:04 AM
11

How do you feel love from someone who you don’t know very well? Makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:00 AM
0

Yup! Literally my experience with my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:08 PM
1

Yup! Literally my experience with my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:08 PM
6

Are men not consenting to this?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:54 PM
3

It doesn’t work in practice. Kids can tell when their parents don’t like each other, and that does damage to them as well. It’s already a broken family at that point. My ex hated me and made it known constantly to all of us. He would scream “I hate that bitch” for everyone to hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:31 PM
3

I would go a step further and say it’s horrible to stay with someone you don’t love. You are denying them an opportunity to be with someone who would love them. My ex didn’t love me and he acted like he was such a noble martyr for staying with a woman that he didn’t love or want to be with. It really, really hurt. I eventually left because of the domestic violence. He hated me and thought I was his property so he treated me like everything he owns, and he doesn’t take good care of any of his stu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:30 PM
3

No. I think that I was pretty clearly specifically referring to my ex, but go ahead and intentionally misunderstand my comment if it makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 03:10 PM
1

Not at all! My boyfriend is awesome and treats me very well. He respects women as equals to men. I just picked a douchebag when I was 18 and too dumb to know better. He didn’t start out so bad, but got progressively worse as the years went by.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 03:08 PM
6

Yup. My ex had the opinion that it was fine for him to cheat on me as much as he wanted but I couldn’t even have a male friend! Why? Because he’s the man and that means he is entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 01:23 PM
-1

I believe that if you are in a relationship that started off with lots of sex then it’s unfair to cut that person off from sex because it was part of the deal from the start. It’s like bait and switch, same as if you started out charming and attentive and then you start acting like a jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:47 AM
8

I trust him completely. We are older, though. He is 51 and I’m 45. We are in a phase of life where we know how lucky we are to have found each other. He had a list of things that he was looking for in a partner that he made a few months before we met. I checked almost all of the boxes! That’s very rare!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 03:38 PM
7

No, I agree with you. People can be awful- both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 03:05 PM
9

I’m generally uncomfortable asking for or accepting any sort of help from anybody. I don’t want to owe anyone anything and I also don’t like being a burden on people. I have become much more comfortable accepting and asking for help from my partner, but it’s because he has earned my trust and shown that he will never hold it over my head or use it as a weapon against me later.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 02:58 PM
13

Not all men are friends with women with the hope that someday they will get to fuck them. Some dudes, my boyfriend included, our friends with women that they genuinely like as people. Not everybody views women as walking vaginas.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:34 PM
11

I think everyone- men and women- should be constantly trying to improve themselves as people for their own self-improvement. I also believe that everyone should be themselves and look for someone they are compatible with. If and when you find that person- love them with your entire being and cherish them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:32 PM
11

So then you would be good with a movement to promote equality of the sexes?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:26 PM
1

Look at me, not existing. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 12:46 PM
1

Totally agree!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 12:44 PM
2

Yes, both beliefs are toxic. I agree completely. As long as someone isn’t actively trying to make me unhappy, I’m good.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 12:42 PM
1

Oh, I was trying to come up with an extreme example so I could maybe get an honest opinion from them. That said, I described my marriage to my ex. I was literally all of those things and he was what I said he is. We get along fine now and coparent like champions, but the marriage was hell. It’s funny, because I don’t do nearly as much as I did around the house because I’m not a SAHM anymore. My SO still tells me how amazing I am every day. I did so much more for my ex, but my SO doesn’t want tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 10:17 PM
4

I live in a small Northern New England city and I don’t know a ton of younger single moms either, of course I’m 45 so I don’t know a whole lot of younger women very well in general. I got close to one much younger woman last summer, she was my neighbor, and she had been a single mom before she met her boyfriend and she had 2 more kids with him before the age of 25. She’s doing pretty well considering she was born to a 15 year old drug addict.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 09:41 PM
3

How about a woman who is kind, loyal, faithful, positive, hard-working, keeps herself in shape, never says no to sex, cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids- and a man who cheats on her, calls her names, picks fights, puts her down, and hits her?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 08:29 PM
1

What if her new partner happens to be more attractive, wealthier, and has a higher status job?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:19 PM
5

My dude does all of our laundry! Score! My ex had me doing everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:17 PM
3

Disagree. My happiness is my responsibility 10000%. It’s actually super toxic to believe that you are responsible for your partner’s happiness, because sometimes they are unhappy about things that have nothing to do with you. When you believe that you’re responsible for your partner’s happiness and they are unhappy, you can decide that they’re ungrateful for the ways you try to make them happy- that won’t work, because an external force is making them unhappy in that moment. It then puts pressur…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:15 PM
11

What’s to regret when you leave a person who cheated on you, hit you, verbally and emotionally abused you, and told you frequently how miserable they are in the marriage but they are willing to “sacrifice their happiness” in order to stay with you? Frick that noise! Not a single regret except that I stuck around as long as I did. Blah!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:06 PM
2

I don’t care. My BF and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary a month or so ago and we went to another city in our state to celebrate. He wanted to take me to a fancy and expensive restaurant and his reasoning was that he brought another woman there for a first date and nothing came of it. He feels like I got short changed because our first date was at a tea shop and I showed up early so I could buy my own tea. I looked him in the eyes and said “Do you think I give a rats ass what you did for that…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:42 PM
2

I find joy in making him happy. I can’t be a financial provider because he makes more money than I do, but for instance, I always enjoy having sex with him, even if it’s just for him because I’m too tired or stressed to get off. The act of giving him sexual pleasure brings me immense joy and satisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:28 PM
2

OMG yessss. That is my man and he is so fucking attractive!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:04 AM
1

I guess I have my unicorn.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:03 AM
1

People who are dominant don’t need to be domineering. They lead by example and inspire confidence in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 11:48 PM
1

I’ve been honest with my boyfriend and he’s been honest with me, although I don’t really care about his sexual history. I haven’t shared it with everyone. I have never lied, but I think it’s a turnoff when someone cares a lot about my past like they’re judging me or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 10:58 PM
2

No no, you misunderstood what I’m trying to say. I am definitely not doing that! My ex didn’t want me to be independent, which is why he didn’t want me to work and he torpedoed my credit score by not letting me pay my bills on time (since he controlled the money). My boyfriend encourages me to work and progress, he has helped me to rebuild my credit, etc. He is helping me to regain my independence after being in an abusive marriage for 25 years where my ex did all he could to hold me back.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 09:34 PM
1

He isn’t dominant, he is domineering. Big difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 07:33 PM
3

It matters, though, because men who are insecure by nature make horrrrrrrible leaders and aren’t dominant. You can’t be dominant and also be insecure. You can’t be dominant and also possessive and controlling (traits that stem from insecurity). If you need to control your partner in order to keep them, they aren’t the person for you. A secure person will be with someone who already demonstrates the types of behaviors that align with their values. They won’t find someone and then try to cajole th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:32 PM
5

My man isn’t that insecure. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:20 PM
12

I like being led by my extremely competent man. My ex wanted to be the leader, but he was incompetent and made terrible decisions, so I didn’t- couldn’t trust him to lead! It created a whole lot of conflict between us. The man I’m with now is intelligent, on top of things, responsible, and I fully trust him and his judgement. That said, if I think he is missing the mark on anything, he will listen to what I have to say. It’s super refreshing because even though I am “blue pill” I still do want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:19 PM
4

Yes- with my ex, my libido disappeared when he cheated on me. I didn’t want him to touch me for years after that. I put out every so often but was repulsed by him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:47 PM
9

I’m happy to admit it. 🤣. I did. I’m not as horny as I was a year ago before we lived together, but we have as much sex as we did before because my love for him has gotten so much deeper and I very much enjoy making him happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:45 PM
4

I admit that I am not as horny as I was when we were first dating, but that doesn’t mean that we are having less sex. I put out and perform for the man that I adore because I LOVE him and enjoy making him happy. I love the connection, I love feeling his body on mine, I love being close to him and you can’t get much closer than sex. I just don’t find myself thinking about sex all the time like I did before.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:42 PM
15

In my case it did lead to an end to the drama. My ex was violently abusive towards me, yet somehow he turned into a respectful and cooperative coparent. We coparent wonderfully now and we have each other’s backs. I would never go back to living with him because he crossed WAY too many lines with me and I have no reason not to believe that he would go back to the way he was before. I gave him 25 years worth of chances. Our marriage traumatized our kids, the divorce has been much better. My boyfri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:17 AM
1

Ok, so there is another boundary that came up last night when we were watching TV together. Apparently, his brother if off limits. 🤣. I wouldn’t sleep with his brother anyway, even if I was single… but I thought that was funny. I was like “I found your boundary! Yay!”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 11:27 PM
1

Ok, so what? It doesn’t prove that all women are opposed to men in therapy! I think it’s safe to say that universally, we don’t like it when men use therapy language to justify being controlling- like what Jonah Hill reportedly did.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 12:27 AM
1

Ok, but you understand that there is no evidence that women have a problem with men who are in therapy and use it to improve their emotional intelligence, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 12:07 AM
0

Did you read the article you posted? It wasn’t saying that it’s bad for men to be in therapy. She was saying that a lot of men are either lying about being in therapy or are blatantly misusing what they learn in therapy in order to justify terrible behavior. Believe me, women would be thrilled if men are in therapy and actually use it in order to learn to be more emotionally intelligent, to communicate better, to become more secure, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 06:53 PM
2

Sure? When I had my first date with my boyfriend it was at a tea shop and I showed up early so I could buy my own tea. I was uncomfortable having a person I had never met spending money on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 11:23 PM
18

Kind of sounds like you guys too? Single by choice and dating isn’t worth it. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 11:18 PM
1

What would I have to gain? We are all sharing perspectives!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 12:27 AM
0

I don’t get why anybody would feel rage at that. Why would someone care that much about what two consenting adults feel like in a healthy and happy relationship? I’m 45 and he’s 51, so we have been through many decades of life. I feel like we’re doing pretty awesome!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:40 PM
1

Ok, so we discussed this. He said his only real boundary would be that I’m safe so we don’t end up with STI’s. He said he trusts me and if I did end up falling for someone else then it would show him that our relationship is more fragile than he thought. It’s kind of the same way I feel, although I don’t want to share him at this time. This is all theoretical anyway. Between our jobs, kids, projects we have at home that we need to do, and quality time spent together- neither of us has time for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 10:07 PM
1

He may be. We had discussed it and he says it would turn him on to see me getting nailed by other people. Last year we were at a bar and he was kind of facilitating a flirtatious interaction with another Latino man (he is Latino) and the guy grabbed my ass and he got excited by it. That said, we were at a goth night last weekend and some dude started trying to dance up on me from behind and he gave him an intimidating stare to signal that he wasn’t invited to join us. He was really ugly, though,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 04:56 PM
1

We are very much of the mindset that we don’t control or own one another. If he really wanted to have sex with someone else we could have a conversation about it and I would likely be open to the idea as long as all precautions were taken. Open and honest communication is the most important thing to me. My ex cheated and lied so much, and he was so abusive whenever he had a new conquest. I will not tolerate that ever again!!! It’s not cheating if everyone agrees, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 04:53 PM
2

He has a healthy attachment style as do I. I am going to ask what his opinion would be were I to sleep with someone else repeatedly. We never got into the theoretical boundaries of that since it isn’t anything I’m interested in doing in the first place. I think my sex and love connection was broken by my ex. He was very abusive and unfaithful to me. I stayed because of our children despite the cheating and abuse- only left when the violence became life threatening. But anyway, we didn’t love one…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 04:48 PM
2

I forgave my ex for it. He cheated for years and I grew to not care about the cheating. It was the abuse that went with it that I hated so much. He treated me like shit whenever he had a new conquest
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 03:18 PM
-1

My boyfriend has told me many times that he doesn’t mind if I want to have sex with someone else. I don’t, but he says that sex and love are different things, and I agree. I told him that I would mind if he had sex with another woman and he said “why would I need to? Nobody compares to you.” 😍 I think he is in the minority, though. I think most men and women won’t forgive cheating
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 03:17 PM
2

Straight men can still sell their asses to men, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 03:13 PM
2

Men can earn A LOT in sex work if they are willing to have sex with men. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 07:02 PM
3

Nope. I don’t think that way at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 04:53 PM
1

I would tell her that what she is doing is disgusting and that would likely end the friendship. I have no tolerance for shit like that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 04:48 PM
11

Possibly. It’s because either he isn’t as great as my man is or they don’t appreciate him enough. I was in an abusive marriage for 25 years so I know how special this man is. He is everything I ever dreamed of.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:11 PM
11

Nope. I have zero plans to ever break up. We live together and I plan to spend the rest of our lives together. He is a God in my eyes and I worship him
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:09 PM
20

Or she is a good woman who believes in loyalty. Would you even want a woman who cheats or doesn’t believe in loyalty?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:07 PM
16

I wouldn’t dump my boyfriend for anybody! He is amazing and wonderful and I owe him loyalty at the very least. If he wasn’t good to me then I wouldn’t be with him, and if I wasn’t good to him then he wouldn’t be with me. We are very happy together so any man who would try to disrupt that is by nature not a good man because a good man doesn’t try to break up a happy home. That said, let’s say some good man did enter my life and I somehow had the notion that we could also be happy together and he …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:06 PM
0

If I die, I want my boyfriend to find love again and be happy. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my life for him only to have him spend it alone, pining for me. As such, when I am ready, I would be open to finding love again.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:31 PM
1

No. I would feel like I dodged a bullet because insecure people make terrible partners. On to the next one!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 02:37 PM
1

I have found that the older I get, the less fucks I have to give about what other people think of me. Plenty of people are conservative when it comes to sexuality and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. There are FAR more women who don’t believe in casual sex then there are men who don’t believe in it. As for cheaters, the reason why it’s a sexual choice is because you can get an infection if your partner cheats with someone who has an infection and then comes back and has sex with you after…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 04:33 PM
0

Sex hasn’t historically been attached to deep meaning and love. It has historically been something that men are entitled to get from the woman (or girl) that her father gave to him. She had no say in the matter. It’s only been recently that women were given sexual agency to determine whether or not they wanted to have sex with anybody. If you only want to have sex in a committed and loving relationship then that’s your choice. Other people’s sexual choices only affect you when you are either bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:14 PM
–

You’re too codependent. You should be happy on your own before getting serious with anybody
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:21 AM
–

Except it actually happened to me. I was with my ex for 25 years and after 23 years he suddenly decided that he had gotten a raw deal because in his mind, he had gained all kinds of value while I had lost all kinds of value by nature of the fact that I was a SAHM at his insistence and I was a mom of his 5 kids and couldn’t have more children. I was 43 and he should have a 20 something. He was super bitter. I’m not fat, I’m pretty, take good care of myself. He can’t find a woman who will stay wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:19 AM
-1

What is mentally healthy and normal about worrying about other consenting adults sex lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:14 AM
2

My boyfriend loves that show. I have never seen it, but he is embarrassed that he loves it so much. Now I need to find out why. 😹
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 06:10 PM
5

They’re mad because even sluts won’t have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 06:09 PM
4

It took me until I was in my 40’s to get to a place where I could have sex without love. I was in a marriage for 25 years where I wasn’t loved and it was a huge struggle. Once I left him (because of domestic violence and me getting to a point where I was strong enough to leave him) I was just a shameless, unadulterated whore. No shame at all. I am in a relationship again so I am only a whore for one man- and I am very happy that way. Now that I have had sex with a man who actually loves me, I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 06:08 PM
0

1) I don’t care what people think about me and most other slutty women like me also don’t give a rats ass what other people think- men or women. We are living our best lives. 2) Not all women have that opinion. I raised my daughters to say “Ok, but I still won’t fuck you.” If someone calls them a slut. It’s so stupid. Why do people even give a fuck who other people are fucking if you aren’t in a relationship together? Makes zero sense to me. I wish I had the bandwidth to give a shit about that s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 06:05 PM
–

I definitely have problems with boundaries. I am a people pleaser to the extreme. 🫣
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 04:44 PM
1

I mean, I guess. He can still do whatever he wants,though. It’s his choice because he has free will. I love him because of how he treats me and how wonderful he is. I trust him. Following models on instagram (which I have no idea whether he does or not, nor do I care) wouldn’t mean anything to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 11:59 PM
1

I don’t understand why people try to control what their partner does in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 11:55 PM
1

That’s not really normal IMO. I don’t check who my boyfriend follows online. I don’t check his phone. I trust him and am not insecure in any way whatsoever. He doesn’t do that to me, either, because he also isn’t insecure. I don’t think it’s normal to be controlling over your partner. I think that it’s normalized, but it’s toxic and gross to be like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 11:53 PM
0

That’s silly. I am NOT naturally confident at all. That came with many years and lots of pain and sadness. I’m a 45 year old woman who knows about relationships. If all you are looking for is something short term then by all means, use whatever strategy works best for you. No shame in that at all. If you want a LTR then you absolutely have to be yourself if you want it to succeed because of what I said. How long can you fake who you are? Most people can’t do that forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 10:24 PM
1

JUST BE YOURSELF!!!! When you are dating and/or getting to know someone, be true to yourself. If you are a good and kind person then be yourself. If you are kind of a dick, be yourself. Just be you. If you try to fake it and be someone you aren’t in order to try to attract someone, how long will you be able to keep up that facade? Will you be happy trying to pretend to be someone you aren’t? You won’t. It will doom the relationship from the start because she will be attracted to a fake persona i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:43 PM
5

I agree that men who don’t like or want to care about a woman aren’t worth trying to make a relationship work with. I used to think I could love my ex enough to make him love me for me- but it never worked. He is avoidant and has a lot of unresolved trauma because of feeling abandoned by his mother and because of the toxicity between his mother and father. I also had trauma- but I worked through mine. I hope he works through his, he’s trying. Mine had to do with being unloved by my father and de…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:02 AM
–

My next relationship is amazing. I’m with a wonderful man who treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 10:53 PM
1

He has has a couple of LTR’s before. He isn’t ugly, I just don’t personally find him attractive. Like he has good skin, nice eyes, straight and clean teeth, he grooms himself well, etc. I just don’t personally like his style, haircut, etc. My boyfriend is very metrosexual. That’s what I like.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:38 PM
2

I never once hit him. I’m not a violent person at all. I just simply didn’t react to his words and that enraged him. I have a lot of emotional control.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 11:56 AM
2

Most women I know aren’t into hookups. You’re fine. I rejected a man for a date because he said he wouldn’t have sex again unless he was in a committed relationship, but that’s me. Sexual compatibility is very important to me- but if it’s not your thing then that’s fine. You will find someone who aligns with your values as long as you remain true to yourself when you meet new people!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 05:02 PM
2

I left because of domestic violence. He had been shoving and slapping me around for years, but the last time it happened he tipped me back in a chair by putting his hand around my throat and pinned me against a sideboard. I had adopted the “radical acceptance” mindset where I was no longer engaging with him in his attempts to pick fights with me and just remaining calm and peaceful. I stopped reacting so he was becoming more and more aggressive. That was the final straw because I was genuinely a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 04:58 PM
2

I am so much more attracted to my boyfriend than I was to anybody I hooked up with. That’s one of the reasons why we are in a relationship now. I wasn’t willing to settle in a relationship with someone who I’m not very physically attracted to and who I can’t feel proud to be seen with. The personality is also extremely important, but yes, the physical attraction matters too. The emotional connection matters. The compatibility matters. All of it. My ex-husband and father of my 5 kids wasn’t someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:14 PM
1

I’ve been with him for a year now, but I was with my ex for 25 years and even though our relationship was terrible, I didn’t want to sleep separately. I think I only slept in another room when I was upset with him twice in all of those years. I tried to a few times but he came and found me and insisted that I come back to bed. He never slept on the couch- ever. It’s just how I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:16 PM
2

I guess ultimately it’s up to each couple to decide what their relationship looks like for them. All of our life experiences form our views on everything. The biggest thing about whether a couple will be successful and happy together is compatibility. That will look different for everyone. Some people are more conservative about their relationship and what they are comfortable with and some people are not. The BIGGEST thing is that everyone plays by the same rules. If she wouldn’t be Ok with her…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:14 PM
2

If that’s what people want, then fine. I wouldn’t want that because I like to cuddle at night and I love sharing a bed with my boyfriend. I’m not into interior decorating at all, but he very much is, so he decides what the decor is and I go along with it. I mean, I am so not into separate sleeping that I have been trying everything to turn his split king that he had before he met me into a regular King bed. I couldn’t stand the gap in the middle. I think I finally got the right things to bridge …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 04:47 PM
1

How does she know that it wasn’t just gossip or assumptions? Also, she may have thought it was possible that he was interested but that he would keep it professional once he found out she has a BF. She may be extremely desirable and have a difficult time with just about everybody being interested in her and doesn’t want to be isolated to the point where she only interacts with people who don’t find her desirable. There could be a million reasons. Also, she might be with a very secure man who act…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 12:22 AM
1

Hahahaha, ummm no. He is progressive and sees women as people rather than objects. I am just as free as he is to do whatever I want. I’m not naive at all, far from it. I treat him like a king and he treats me like a queen. It’s a two way street
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 10:25 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:53 PM
1

He and I have been through hell and came out of the other side stronger and healthier. That’s rare. It’s also rare to find someone who knows what parenting kids with disabilities is like. Someone you can communicate with, someone you are super attracted to, someone with your kinks, someone who has the same mindset, same goals, same values and beliefs… that is very rare. I honestly don’t worry one bit about him leaving me for someone else. I mean hell- if he came to me and said that he really wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:52 PM
0

What boundaries? There are no boundaries about who we can and can’t talk to. We have our own personal boundaries that we respect for one another like “Be honest with me.” “Be respectful when you speak to me” “Be a good human” “Don’t be controlling” etc. I know that I can talk to him about anything and everything and he can talk to me about anything and everything. Conflicts arise, mostly because we have a fuck ton of kids between us and they all have neurodivergence. His son has some pretty seri…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:42 PM
0

That’s because you are insecure and worry that she is going to find someone better. Work on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:07 PM
0

Boo hoo! What’s wrong with validation boosts? I get catcalled and compliments all the time and it makes me feel great! There is NOTHING wrong or unhealthy about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:06 PM
1

Why not? I have zero problem with my boyfriend talking to anybody even if they like him or not. I know my worth. If he wants someone else then he can go be with her and I will be just fine on my own. I adore him, LOVE him, am deeply in love with him. I have never felt so loved and so cherished by a man in my entire life- but if he decided that he would be happier with another woman, I want him to go be with her. I would survive. Better than having someone with me who doesn’t really want to be wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:04 PM
1

No way! My ex was a huge cheater, cheated serially and relentlessly and it wasn’t the cheating that hurt the most but the way he treated me as a result of it. He treated me like absolute trash, especially when he had a new sexual conquest, because he couldn’t reconcile cheating on his sweet wife who was faithful and meeting his needs. He had to find things to pick fights about and create drama and chaos in order to justify it in his own mind- and it had to be my fault. When I stopped engaging in…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:57 AM
3

No, because the odds are still greater that my gun would be used against me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:34 AM
1

My boyfriend can look at whatever he wants, and by the same token, if I was selling my nudes he would support me 1000%. Hell, I could be an escort and he would support my choice to do that. I don’t, but it’s nice to know that it’s a two way street.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 05:08 PM
1

Aren’t these double standards awesome? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 05:06 PM
-1

I agree with you there, but by the same token, if a woman is selling her nudes or videos of herself then that’s also not cheating and it’s controlling to tell her that she can’t do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:18 AM
1

So your advice to homeless parents is to homeschool their kids so they don’t have to worry about CPS? Good God.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:15 AM
–

This made me laugh out loud. Pyramids schemes are the woooorst. How common is it for women to be on dating apps just to sell DoTerra or whatever other bullshit they’re selling these days?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:12 AM
–

It was totally dudes wanting to have sex with me, and I wasn’t bothered.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:10 AM
–

It depends on the woman. Some women like it and some women don’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:09 AM
–

Yeah, and I guarantee 90% of them would hit it if given the chance. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:53 AM
1

Me? Christ no. I was about 40 lbs heavier with no style or self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 02:51 AM
3

Tell that to all the dudes who were trying to get with me when I was single. 🤣 Granted, I live in a geographical area with a lot of unattractive people, so the bar is fairly low.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:22 PM
4

I’m pretty hot and I’m 45. Just sayin’
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:57 PM
1

Not all single parents believe in putting their kids first no matter what. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now and we both have kids from previous marriages, but we prioritize our relationship. We make space and time for our kids as well, but we put each other first. We are a team and support one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:56 PM
–

It shouldn’t be seen as cosmetic because it would be fixing a disfigurement and putting things back the way they were before.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 09:50 AM
1

Oh yes, I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 09:49 AM
2

Yes. You work your ass off until you die.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:31 AM
3

Some people are privileged, but many people are not. I work in “affordable” housing and there are so many people who work full-time and still can’t afford to pay the rent.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:30 AM
2

I should have done that. You’re much smarter than I was 20 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:16 AM
2

What does that have to do with what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:43 AM
2

Smart choice!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:41 PM
3

You would have been up shit creek which is where I was until my amazing boyfriend, Cpt. Save-a-Hoe came to my rescue. I am so fortunate and so thankful for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:40 PM
15

Platitudes don’t pay the bills. They don’t put shoes on your children’s feet or a roof over their heads. I work for a property management company and waiting lists for affordable housing are years long. I had a man come in this summer who was paying 1200/month to live in a tent at a campground with his family. Platitudes don’t prevent CPS from removing kids from homeless parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:37 PM
11

My ex told me that I was a “low value woman” after giving him 5 children and being a SAHM for 15 years at his insistence. I was his wife for 25 years and somehow became low value in his eyes. Fucking asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:32 PM
4

I am permanently disfigured. I had two sets of twins and I have loose skin around my abdomen that no amount of exercise will get rid of. I need surgery to correct it, which I can’t afford, and insurance won’t pay for because ‘murica.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:30 PM
19

And oligarchy means that you have to be a corporate wage slave for 40 years. What choice do we have unless you are either happy to be very poor or you have a partner who is very rich?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:24 PM
11

Riiiight, which is another reason to not have kids. Women are expected to work as though they don’t have kids and raise kids as though they don’t work. Nobody ever puts that on the father, though. It’s bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 05:02 PM
15

Motherhood is the most demanding and thankless thing a woman can do, that’s why. Signed, A mother of 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 05:01 PM
7

I honestly prefer hanging out with men. I find men easier to understand because with a few exceptions, men typically just speak directly and don’t expect you to read their mind or understand their subtle hints. I really suck at indirect communication. I have also found most men to be easy to impress and they don’t find me threatening at work. I absolutely feel bad for the fact that heterosexual men often have to deal with indirect communication so much. It’s exhausting having to constantly try t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:21 AM
2

Well, it will either work out for her or it won’t. Not much to worry about. I think that in reality, in most marriages with kids, it’s the men who typically have the reputation for being the lazy ones when it comes to planning and effort. For example: I feel like the most spoiled princess in the universe because my boyfriend plans dates and has bought me entire outfits complete with underwear, bra, shoes and accessories. He insists that it’s bare minimum effort, but I feel like he’s freaking ama…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 10:00 AM
2

I was being ironic when I said that. I wish them all well and hope that they meet someone who they’re compatible with. I just wasn’t that person for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 01:58 AM
1

Messy truck? I can’t judge someone for that because my vehicle is a hot mess. I don’t know. It wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me if he was otherwise trustworthy. That does happen, although I don’t know why he brought it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 01:38 AM
3

Ironic, huh? It’s funny how men say that about women with no sense of irony. They will call a woman a hoe for having sex with him on the first date when he himself had sex with her on the first date too!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 01:36 AM
2

One guy, the one I blocked, was because he had a tattoo on his face and I knew that there was no chance in hell that I was bringing a guy with a tattoo on his face home to meet my mother. Worst part was that it was a tattoo of a ghost and he said it’s because he always gets ghosted. 🙃. I didn’t ghost him, I was very explicit when I told him that I would hook up with him but that was it. He promised that he was going to dominate me but it was pretty weak. He also didn’t drive which was a big nope…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 01:29 AM
3

Again, depends on the woman. That wasn’t ever my M.O., but I do know that is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:50 PM
1

I would probably tread carefully. How many dates and are there other red flags?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:39 PM
2

Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:36 PM
8

Depends on the woman. If she is still having sex with him and not texting him and trying to get that emotional connection and non sexual attention then chances are she is just using him for his dick. Hahaha I love how women have learned that we have as much right to fuck for fuckings sake as men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:34 PM
1

It depends. When I was single I had plenty of sex with men who I had no interest in having a relationship with. They were good for a booty call, but not relationship material. They were for the streets, as some might say. I was open to a relationship if I met the right person, but not desperate for one by any means. I met “the one” and we did fall in love, but I was always honest with everybody I ever had flings with. A few men thought that I might change my mind and that they could get me to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:32 PM
5

Yeah, that was what I was thinking. He is SO BAD at sex that it’s a punishment that she has to endure.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:24 PM
1

Is this a first date? That would be a red flag for me for a first date, honestly. If they were convicted then I would absolutely not believe them because typically people aren’t convicted without evidence. If they were just accused and there is no record then I would wonder why the hell they are telling me that on a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:51 PM
3

Ok. I’m not mad at all and I actually wish he had left me for the women he was constantly cheating on me with, but he didn’t. I had to be the one to leave. Women shouldn’t be mad because why be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? I can see being mad at the betrayal of adultery, but if he leaves then he is doing you a favor. Better to be left by a cheater than to suffer a chronic adulterer who uses you for your labor and the “image” of the perfect family, who abuses and humiliates you, …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 12:55 PM
7

Yes, it was easier for me even when I was totally alone then it was when I was with their dad. He was like an out of control toddler.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 02:27 AM
2

I’m a 45 year old mom to two sets of twins and a singleton and 4 of my kids are autistic, although they aren’t nonverbal. They have some challenging behaviors, but my teenagers are doing great. Ironically, my only non-autistic kid is the one who is the most difficult to deal with. I left their abusive father and had a new, much better man 6 months later. He has an autistic 12 year old who survived brain cancer twice and had extremely severe behavioral problems and a lot of violent behaviors- but…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 02:24 AM
1

My mother told me when I was an adult. She didn’t speak badly about him when I was growing up, but it helped me to understand why he doesn’t care about me and why he invested so much in my brother. It helped me to stop blaming myself for it. I wondered what it was about me that was the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 06:57 PM
6

People can have whatever boundaries they want to as long as both parties agree to it. If both people agree then it’s not a restriction as much as it is a choice that they make together. As an analogy, at my work, I have very different rules about my attire than my co-workers do because of my position in the company and I think also because I (not bragging, just stating facts) have a great figure. I can look sexy/slutty in an outfit that one of my co-workers can wear and look blah in. I have a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:33 PM
3

Oh, there were absolutely two sets of rules for us. It was an open marriage for him but I wasn’t allowed to talk to anybody that he didn’t agree with me talking to- men or women. Never men and a few women. If he didn’t like someone then I didn’t talk to them. It was an awful way to live, but I took that trauma and made it into positive aspects of my personality. I’m super secure, not jealous at all, I have a submission kink, and I make the most out of every single day.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:29 PM
1

With him it does. He invested all of his energy into my little brother. When I was born and they said “It’s a girl!” He said “Oh well.” Knocked my mom up 3 months later and had a vasectomy as soon as HE was born.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:21 PM
6

My ex was super insecure to the point where he would accuse me of flirting with men when I wasn’t flirting at all. I was at the point where when I was out in public I wouldn’t look at or speak with anybody. I wasn’t allowed to talk to men at all. Meanwhile, he was hitting on every woman who would acknowledge him which sucked for all of the service workers he came in contact with. So embarrassing!!! But anyway, I have learned that I am unintentionally flirtatious. I guess it’s my eyes and the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:54 PM
11

It hasn’t hurt my relationship at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:50 PM
17

Not really, though. If both people agree to monogamy then it’s not putting a restriction on the person. If someone wants to have an open relationship then they should have a conversation about it with their partner. It may end up being a dealbreaker and it may end up ending the relationship, but better to be honest and open about it. There are plenty of people who are into open relationships that it should be possible to find someone you’re compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:50 PM
2

It depends on the couple and what they agree to, honestly. My partner and I have a monogamous relationship and we have an active and fun sex life together, but he looks at porn and masturbates during the day while I’m at the office because he gets horny and I’m not there. It doesn’t bother me at all. (He works from home.) I wouldn’t be happy if he had actual sex with another person, but we could have a conversation about it if it was something that he really wanted to do. So far it hasn’t come u…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:47 PM
34

Not anymore because I have discernment, which is something I didn’t have when I was 15 and my uncle started to feel me up and try to get in my pants. I was dumb and thought that he was spending lots of time with me because he thought I was cool and fun to hang around with. I also desperately wanted a father figure in my life since my own father couldn’t give two farts about his daughter. I have better discernment then I did at 18 when I entered into a 25 year long trauma bond with my ex-husband …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:08 PM
8

I can attest to the same things. I’ve been assaulted and stalked by dates before and it’s freaking horrible. I didn’t even mention it in my comment about why dating is hard because it just felt like a given that it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 05:17 PM
6

Well, men lie about their intentions all the time. I had several dates with men who said they were looking for a LTR but open to short on their dating profile only to tell me that they like being single and aren’t interested in anything long-term once we actually met. I found it hard to meet someone who was interested in actually getting to know me as a person rather than just liking me because I’m attractive. There are also a lot of single men with tons of baggage. I don’t mean kids, that’s not…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 05:12 PM
1

You as well. So far it’s been Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:35 PM
1

I think you’re right. He told me that most women rejected him before he met me. Their loss is my gain, because I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. He’s a wonderful human being. I trust him with my soul and he trusts me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:34 PM
2

I don’t know you, and I apologize for my accusation. That was wrong of me to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:07 PM
1

Sure, that’s what acquaintances are for, but you can’t have a healthy relationship with someone who you can’t trust with your emotional safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:04 PM
0

Right, which is why it’s good to figure that out up front that way you don’t waste time and effort on the wrong person. Don’t be in a relationship where you can’t be emotionally safe and intimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:03 PM
1

My boyfriend’s son is a two time cancer survivor with physical/developmental/behavioral disabilities. He grieves for his son and the lost potential. He has sobbed before saying things like “My baby boy”. I hold him and comfort him and love him dearly. See, just because a man won’t express his emotions doesn’t mean that they aren’t there tearing him apart. I had to be the rock in my marriage to my ex and he was so overwhelmed with his own unexpressed and unprocessed pain that he never held space …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 08:56 PM
1

Yeah, that’s for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:16 PM
2

Why get into a relationship with someone who you can’t be emotionally close to?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:14 PM
2

Yes, and it saves you from wasting a bunch of time and effort on a toxic bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:13 PM
2

I’m glad my boyfriend doesn’t feel that way. He is an open book and wears his heart on his sleeve, and I protect his heart like a priceless artifact. I would never hurt him. Opening up is how you have emotional intimacy. Maybe you feel like someone would do that to you because that’s what you would do to them? My ex did that to me a lot and it really drove a huge wedge between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:10 PM
3

My boyfriend can tell me anything in the world and I would never ever use it against him, ever. In fact, it helps me to know what things I should never say to him because I wouldn’t want to hurt him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:03 PM
-1

That’s NOT a good woman (or man). My ex didn’t want me for me, or even like me for me. All he cared about is what I could do for him, not who I am as a person. That was why he resented the fact that I have emotions and a personality of my own. He just wanted a stepford wife. I wanted a connection with him. He wanted a maid.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:53 PM
4

It depends on how you look at it. If she uses your vulnerability against you in a future conflict then you have identified her as a toxic and horrible person whom you should not invest one more minute with. It seems like a really good test for a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:49 PM
0

Why would you be in a relationship with someone who you can’t trust with your heart? Anybody who would exploit your vulnerabilities and use them against you is a terrible person. That would be a deal breaker
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:44 PM
2

Yeah, I did! I absolutely stopped being a burden and making it worse for any man who can’t express his emotions and communicate in a healthy way. I avoid them and chose to enter a relationship with a man who is very in touch with his emotions and communicates in an open and healthy way. Resentments can’t build up when you identify the emotion and express it right away. Like “I was feeling resentful when I saw that you hadn’t picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor.” It’s pretty eas…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:38 PM
-3

This is true. I get so much more frustrated and disgusted by men who refuse to share their emotions and communicate in a healthy way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 03:34 PM
3

Yes, and I also think that it’s important to have open and honest conversations about it. Like asking what’s going on, what can I do to make this better for you, etc. I tried to tell my ex that the way he treated me made me not feel safe with him and he just shut me down and refused to listen or take any accountability for his behavior. He said I was just making excuses. Well, I approached him with that feedback, and I made a good faith effort to communicate my problems with his behavior. If you…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:58 PM
3

I think this is really complicated. It’s common for people to lose their libido for various reasons, and the common belief is that you should not have sex unless you are in the mood to have sex. I have a different view as a 45 year old woman in my 2nd serious relationship. I will have sex regardless of whether I feel like it or not. I can get into the mood pretty easily and I absolutely adore my boyfriend. He left a dead bedroom marriage and I don’t ever want him to suffer from a lack of sex aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:36 PM
–

I’m a straight woman and I had to self-improve a lot in order to get a healthy partner. I had to work on my insecurities, self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, my fitness, my presentation, etc. The types of men I attracted before I got my shit together were shit quality men. I didn’t self-improve to find love, though. I did it so that I could be healthy and happy on my own. Finding an amazing partner came after I felt totally good and secure all by myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 07:55 PM
–

I don’t do that. Partly because my ex says “Typical woman” constantly and listening to that for years was awful. I also get along really well with most people- men and women alike.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:25 AM
1

I’m so glad to be in a great relationship with a man who is emotionally healthy and who loves me as much as I love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 10:45 PM
1

That sucks and is very sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 09:54 PM
1

What is your idea of what makes someone “manly”?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 09:53 PM
1

But men aren’t a monolith, so it would be ignorant to have a problem with all men. I treat each person as an individual. I trust people until they prove themselves untrustworthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 09:52 PM
1

What do you mean by “manly”?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:34 PM
1

Sounds like a recipe for a really great relationship. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:33 PM
1

Right, because women are a monolith.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:33 PM
0

YUP! This is completely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:32 PM
2

Not all men mistrust women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:32 PM
1

A man can be respectful, loving, kind, sensitive, and emotionally available without being low-T or a pushover.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:31 PM
1

I’m confused as to what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:30 PM
4

It’s good that you are admitting that healthy women wouldn’t want to be with a man who doesn’t like women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:52 PM
7

Could you marry a woman while keeping those views secret?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:51 PM
5

What is a feminized man?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:38 PM
9

Are you dating quality women, though, or are you dating insecure women with a low self-esteem? I have a hard time believing that any healthy and self-respecting woman would want to date a man who dislikes and mistrusts women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:36 PM
9

I was with someone like this and it was awful. I eventually stopped trying to talk to him at all and immersed myself in my housework and audio books. He was totally butthurt and offended that I wasn’t reaching out to him for anything anymore (except sex because I love sex and I wasn’t going to be without THAT too.) He was mad when I wanted to connect and talk, mad when I decided to just keep busy doing my own thing, mad when I asked him to fix things in the house, and even more mad when I stoppe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:33 PM
17

Seriously? That’s gross AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 10:25 AM
1

I was the opposite, honestly. I was wildly uncomfortable with men spending money on me when I was single. I matched with guys and I proposed crazy stuff like a park date where we would meet at a park and go for a walk on the trail. At the time, my dog was still alive, so I would bring her with me on walks. My boyfriend and I had our first date at a tea shop and I showed up early so I could buy my own tea. I just didn’t want anybody to think that I’m trying to get money or be taken care of by som…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 03:46 PM
7

I didn’t care because if I’m not in an exclusive relationship with someone then there is no expectation of monogamy. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not jealous.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 03:40 PM
9

Exactly. My partner likes big butts on skinny women and I like Latino men. He’s also 6 and 1/2 years older than me and that turns me on. He likes to be called “Daddy” and I have a submission kink, but he also very much treats me as an equal- like a queen, honestly. It’s a perfect match!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 03:27 AM
3

Um, yes!! I want to be my man’s fetish, and I want him to be mine! That can’t be all it’s based on, but that’s important to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 03:23 AM
–

This! My ex is absolutely NOT a chad or a HVM, but he is avoidant AF and he simultaneously dislikes women who are “too clingy” but also gets super butthurt and offended when his partner is independent and secure. Total mindfuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:20 PM
–

You described my children’s father. He is absolutely NPD, but his sense of duty is why he is a pretty good father to our kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 01:48 PM
0

People can divorce anybody for any reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 03:27 PM
–

So red pill leads men to cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 06:25 PM
–

That’s a pretty big insecurity! Also, I don’t know the code for my boyfriend’s phone and I couldn’t care less. I don’t want to look at his phone. He has the code to mine, and again, I don’t care. He can look at my phone anytime he wants to. If I asked him for the code he would give it to me, but I don’t want it. I have no reason to get on his phone. He only has mine because he helped me set my phone up and I never bothered to change it because I couldn’t care less if he sees my phone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 06:21 PM
–

Planning the exit strategy is just being practical. I wish I had been more practical and realistic when I was younger rather than idealistic and naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 01:21 AM
–

Hahahaha, yeah, like they will admit that they’re cheating and comply with the demand to use a condom. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 06:45 PM
1

I guess it depends on whether you actually enjoy the act of having sex. Sex sessions between my partner and me typically last an hour or more because we aren’t just trying to get off. We have fun, role play, and just generally enjoy one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 06:44 PM
1

Says who?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 06:40 PM
7

YUP! My ex put a ton of pressure on me to orgasm and he wanted me to do it fast. I used to hate it when he would ask if I was Ok when we were having sex if I didn’t cum within 3 minutes. I actually started faking orgasms with him just to get him off my back about it. It ruined sex for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 04:26 PM
1

Damn… My boyfriend has a hard time getting off and it takes him a loooong time to do it, and it requires a whole lot of pounding to get there, but I adore him and want him to feel good. I would do everything in my power, everything, anything… to get him there. Sometimes he can, sometimes he can’t, but he never blames me if he can’t get there just as I would never blame him if I can’t get there. Sometimes I’m not in the mood/too tired to try to get off myself so I tell him that this is just for h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 04:24 PM
–

Sometimes it does, though. Happens very often, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 04:18 PM
–

I see. Well, a high-value woman who works her ass off for her family has the right to NOT get STI’s from her cheating ass husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 04:17 PM
–

True. I lied to myself for years about my ex-husband cheating. I told myself that he wasn’t doing it when I knew damn well he was in order to cope with the fact that I was feeling very trapped as a SAHM to 5 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 03:32 PM
1

Sure, have a conversation about it, and if they refuse to change then end it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:03 PM
1

You don’t have to. I don’t believe in unconditional love except for innocent children. It is perfectly reasonable to end a marriage if one spouse changes into a person that you no longer want to be with. This is true for anything. Obesity, drug addiction, cheating, gambling, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 12:59 PM
3

My boyfriend is happy that we’re friends and they don’t have any past trauma that has to do with their marriage. They split up because as she put it “their relationship had run its course” and they were more like roommates than lovers. He initiated the divorce, but she was totally on board with it and they agreed on everything. She and I have a lot in common, which makes sense considering the fact that he married her. She’s awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 08:36 PM
2

Explain why I need therapy because I am friends with my boyfriend’s ex-wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 07:02 PM
2

Why not? She is a genuinely awesome person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 04:34 PM
3

I’m good friends with my boyfriend’s ex-wife. She’s awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 12:52 PM
2

Yes. Men and women can be friends and my boyfriend and I are both friends with the opposite sex, exes, former FWB, etc. it’s fine if you’re secure in your relationship and yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 12:51 PM
5

Hey, I’m a 45 year old single mom and I’m my boyfriend’s dream girl!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 04:50 PM
2

I was happy to let my ex become the “default parent” after he got therapy and was able to see the kids again. I was a SAHM for years and I was always the “default parent”. It’s time that he step up, know what I mean? He does a fine job at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 03:59 PM
–

The reserved and quiet because I generally don’t trust people with tons of charisma.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 10:21 AM
4

I hear you, but it isn’t horrible for me at all. I enjoy it very much!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 11:05 PM
5

There is nothing wrong with getting emotional and mental pleasure from making your partner feel good, though. I love him and it pleases me to see him enjoy my body.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 09:53 PM
7

It’s not like I tell him I’m not in the mood and/or lay there obviously disinterested. I perform for him because I love him and it’s enjoyable making him feel good. I don’t fake orgasms or anything, but I tell him “this is for you” and reassure him that I get a lot of enjoyment from his pleasure. I’m 45 years old. Not my first rodeo.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 09:33 PM
7

I think it’s up to the couple. I never refuse my man because I love him and want to make him feel good. There have been times when I wasn’t in the mood for sex but we had sex anyway. I would never tell someone else what they have to do, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 08:19 PM
1

Yeah. It was pretty goddamn ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 10:11 PM
25

Kids are incredibly expensive and they are a whole lot of work. It makes sense to not want to have children if you can’t afford them and if you’re happy living your life without kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 05:40 PM
3

I did at 43!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 11:54 AM
4

I haven’t had an orgasm from oral sex in forever. It’s great for getting everything flowing down there, but after awhile I need that D to get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 04:32 PM
5

I would stay away from that for all forms of sex because it’s a sign that someone may have an STI of some kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 04:31 PM
2

Most men I have dated enjoy it quite a bit. It’s an excellent way to wake up the nerves down there which will make penetration incredibly enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 04:30 PM
2

It’s an immature mindset and kind of toxic. When I was younger, I was obese. I lost a bunch of weight in my early 30’s and was somehow offended that men who wouldn’t give me a second look were suddenly looking. I gained the weight back and then some thanks to another pregnancy by my then husband, and in 2020 I lost the weight again and have kept it off. By then, my early 40’s, my outlook changed and I matured enough to realize that yeah, I wasn’t attractive and I am now. It’s not that hard to un…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 02:41 PM
8

Nailed it!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:39 PM
11

It’s probably because people with higher intelligence are less likely to be religious and/or have sexual hangups.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:39 PM
2

I would say “cockpecked” but that sounds like fun. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:41 PM
1

I don’t feel anything about it at all, although if AI teaches them healthy communication then I am all for it!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:34 PM
1

I haven’t heard it in years other than out of the mouths of boomers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 05:58 PM
3

My boyfriend’s ex-wife and I are friends and she has never called him abusive. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 04:30 PM
8

Yes, men can also nag and be very nitpicky. I think terms like “henpecked” and “pussywhipped” are just sexist terms, which is why they have fallen out of the common vernacular.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 04:29 PM
1

Oh yes, he is emotionally healthy and normal- but that doesn’t feel normal for most men. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 07:01 PM
1

He has mostly women friends, but some friends who are men as well. He has more in common with women then with men in our area of the country. Most of the men where we live are either into sports, hunting, fishing, cars, guns, or all of the above. He is a native Bostonian who is into Yoga.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 06:58 PM
2

That’s what I was thinking. My boyfriend is anything but a normal man and he’s absolutely perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:56 PM
2

No female friends concerns me. It shows that he doesn’t value women as individual human beings and only views us as sexual objects. My boyfriend has mostly female friends and he is the kindest and most respectful man I have ever met.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:54 PM
6

Once you resort to ad hominem attacks you have lost the debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 01:29 PM
3

So getting married meant that you chose to be taken and impregnated against your will by your husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 01:16 PM
5

I don’t know, my boyfriend gives me all of those things and I’m not Stacy. :-) Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 09:28 PM
1

Well, I adore the man and I would do anything to make him happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:40 PM
2

Why do you believe I am lying? Do you think it’s impossible that a woman could love a man and have sex with him even if she doesn’t feel like having sex just for the sole purpose of giving him pleasure rather than trying to experience sexual pleasure herself?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:38 PM
2

It wasn’t “pity sex” at all! I love him and I love to make him feel good! Just because I wasn’t in the mood to get off doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel wonderful to see him enjoy himself. He earned my love through his actions the same way that I earned his love through my actions. That’s how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:37 PM
2

What makes you think I’m lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:33 PM
1

I let him f me in the a. Not my boyfriend, another dude I was with. I’m into BDSM and he is reaaaaally into it. Very dominant. I let him F me in the A and we also played around with CNC, although that didn’t feel as submissive as the anal because it’s not something I enjoy at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 03:19 PM
14

Yeah, because women didn’t have a choice. My own grandmother told my mom that she didn’t have a choice. My grandfather took my grandmother whether she wanted it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 12:40 PM
18

Right, I mean honestly, my sex drive has taken a dip lately because I started a new job and I’m tired/stressed, but I still enjoy pleasing my boyfriend because I adore him. I get as much emotional enjoyment from his pleasure as I get pleasure from sex when I get off. I tell him that “this is for you” when I’m not in the mood, but I don’t just lay there disengaged. I talk dirty and tell him to use me and stuff like that which I know turns him on. I would not do that for anybody, though. He more t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 12:31 PM
65

Could there be a biological reason for women’s sex drives decreasing during stressful times? Think about it… The natural consequence of sex is pregnancy, right? If a woman is already dealing with too much stress from kids, work, an unhappy relationship, an imbalance when it comes to household chores and childcare, why wouldn’t her libido naturally drop? Her hormones are saying “We cannot deal with another kid.” A man isn’t going to have that same biological reaction. He can just nut and move on.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 12:05 AM
1

Yes. I’m 45 and have many years of life experience that gave me all this wisdom. 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 11:52 AM
6

I think it’s all about timing. When you are just getting to know somebody, giving too many compliments is a turnoff because it seems like you’re trying to butter her up or lovebomb, or it comes off as desperate and insincere. If she looks nice then tell her that you like her style, don’t simply tell her she is beautiful immediately. Women will interpret that as you being overly focused on just her looks and not caring about her personality, intelligence, or style. Don’t compliment her personalit…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 10:46 PM
1

Hahahaha, good one!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 02:08 PM
6

It’s all good. I have an amazing man now who cooks, cleans, and does laundry and he also helps me with my kids when we have them. I help him with his son too. I also cook and clean, but I think he does way more than I do when it comes to maintaining and running the household. He works from home, makes more than double what I make, but he never complains about doing more at home because he is here and I’m not, and he also wants to see me thrive at work to make up for all those lost years. He did …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 02:02 AM
11

YES! When my 17 year old twins went to Kindergarten, I got a job. My ex pretty much forced me to quit and he was explicit about it. He said that he isn’t a “housewife” and that he didn’t want to cook or clean at all. He was good with playing with the kids and stuff, but he wanted me to go back to doing all of the chores on my own. I didn’t want to quit, but he put a lot of pressure on me to. When I quit, his business did become very successful because all he had to worry about was working. Unfor…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 04:44 PM
1

My ex was always starting drama, and he’s a man. I have a wonderful, drama free relationship with my boyfriend and I would never go back. I think when I was young and immature I probably did like the drama to some extent, but I’m 45 now and have well grown out of that phase of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 01:11 PM
1

Have you ever tried shadow work? My partner struggles with anxiety a lot and shadow work has helped him a lot. I’m close friends with his ex-wife and from what she has told me, he used to be really bad when it came to the feelings that you’re describing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:45 AM
2

Some people like awkward partners. I’m a bit awkward myself (as a neurodivergent woman) and one thing that I absolutely adore about my partner is the fact that we can just be ourselves with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:43 AM
0

Having that attitude about women isn’t prosocial. You are viewing women as commodities rather than individual human beings with thoughts, feelings, experiences, and personalities. When you say “nice guys finish last” are you saying that you’re “finishing last” because she had sexual partners before you? That’s weak, insecure, and just plain sad energy if that’s what you’re saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:39 AM
4

Here is an example of pro-social behaviors that don’t cost a thing: Being kind to service workers. Not wasting and being mindful of what you throw away. Recycling as much as possible and donating used items rather than throwing them out. Not driving like a jerk. Complimenting strangers to brighten their day. Voting for people who advance policies that help everybody rather than working on behalf of the 1%. Being considerate of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:37 AM
1

Yessss! 🙌🏻👏🏻. Completely agree with you!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:29 AM
1

Nope. Plenty of men with ASD are pro-social and plenty of neurotypical men are anti-social. Being popular and charismatic is often a red flag, especially the charisma part.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:08 AM
2

My partner has MANY pro-social behaviors. Neither of us was desperate for a relationship, but we were open to one if we found the right partner. I was, I suppose “short-term mating” when we met and began dating, but if he had the dark triad personality traits then we wouldn’t be in a relationship. I had dudes that I hooked up with on occasion who I knew were anti-social, and as such, they were just used for sex and nothing more. I have a high sex drive and wasn’t going to sit around waiting for …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 09:05 AM
–

ROTFLMAO!!! Good, decent, respectful, and SECURE men don’t care how about that. I have an AMAZING man and he actually finds it sexy that I love sex so much. I’m fun, adventurous, sexy, kind, loving, loyal, and intelligent. We aren’t having more kids. We both have children with ex-spouses and we definitely don’t want more children, but that’s beside the point. Good men don’t care about that stuff. Only insecure men do, and we don’t want them anyway! Go find a sexually repressed virgin and then cr…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:35 AM
18

I’m going to be 45 in a few days and I get checked out and hit on daily.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 12:32 AM
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I couldn’t agree more. Being a mother is completely thankless and draining. I was a SAHM for 15 years and my ex constantly told me how I had the “easy job”, but when I expressed a desire to go back to work he accused me of wanting to take the “easy way” and that I would hurt the family if I got a job. We aren’t together anymore, and now I work full-time. He owns his own business, works from home, and doesn’t want to pay for childcare, so our 7 year old twins stay with him every day while I’m wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 09:51 PM
–

I went for a FWB arrangement and we ended up falling in love and we live together now. 😊
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:27 PM
–

He uses a fleshlight
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:30 PM
–

So my BF jerks off to porn frequently and I am kinky AF. He got into the habit before I even entered his life. I don’t really care that he uses porn, but he does struggle a lot with delayed ejaculation and I suspect that porn is why. I can take it as long as he wants to give it, and I never complain that he’s taking too long, ever. I reassure him that it’s fine and I’m enjoying myself. I work hard to get him off, but he will get exhausted and give up frequently. He can only get off when he’s pou…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:27 PM
1

I don’t know the answer to that question. I think that if people can coexist together without love and can still behave in loving ways toward one another so that the kids get a positive example of a healthy relationship then that’s good. Unfortunately, we never had that. I wouldn’t have left if he hadn’t been violent. I accepted his need to cheat and would have stayed if he had just been nice to me. That was all I wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 08:18 PM
2

lol I live with my dream man now. 🤣. I met him 6 months after I left my ex. He is the total package to the point where I had literal tears streaming down my face last night while we were laying in bed together. I’m not a very emotional person in general, but when we were laying there together and all of our kids were in bed, I just began to weep because even though I am totally fine on my own and I didn’t feel like I needed to be in a relationship to be complete, it feels really good to finally …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:27 PM
8

That made no sense at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:17 PM
12

What part of “I would rather be alone then be in a relationship with an incompatible partner” do you not understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:12 PM
3

I absolutely have high standards because I know my worth! Yes, I have 5 kids with my ex, but that doesn’t mean that I need to be with someone who doesn’t respect me or treat me right. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship with someone who I’m not compatible with. I was fine alone, but I met the man of my dreams, huge trade up from my ex despite the 5 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:08 PM
2

I had mixed feelings. I was sad that it didn’t work out because she seemed like a very sweet woman, and sad for the kids because they liked her a lot, but happy for her that she didn’t end up getting stuck in an unhappy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 11:37 PM
1

Well, I stuck with him for 25 years but after he strangled me during a fight that he started, I thought it was too dangerous to stay. He was cheating on me and I told him that I didn’t care who he slept with. In his mind that meant that I must be cheating. In reality, I was just trying to cope with my life without losing my mind. When you know you are married to a cheater but you want to keep your family together, you cope by just not caring and realizing that their choice to cheat is about them…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 11:31 PM
4

Meanwhile, in the real world, I see couples everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 06:22 PM
1

I have that now. I have a wonderful partner who is literally everything I ever wanted in a partner and to our mutual delight, he feels the same way about me!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 11:14 PM
1

I’m making him 5’6”. Height isn’t that important to me (I’m 5’2”). My partner is all of those things on that list except he doesn’t have a 7”, more like a 6”, but it’s perfect. I do like how much bigger than me he is, but it has never been a dealbreaker either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 10:40 PM
1

Huh? You mean go back to him?! Oh helllll noooooooooooooo. No way. Things would go right back to where they were before. Things are cool between us because I’m not his partner. I could never ever go back to him. Never in a million years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 10:36 PM
2

He isn’t a deadbeat. He just left everything to me when we were together. Now that we aren’t together anymore, he takes care of them when they’re with him. Why did I choose him, though? I was 18 when we got together and stayed with him for 25 years. It’s a very long story, but I’m glad that despite how horrible our marriage was, we are getting along extremely well for the sake of our kids. I will give him all of the credit and kudos in the world for being an amazing ex. He doesn’t pay me anythin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:56 PM
6

She dumped him like 2 days before summer vacation started when she realized that she was his childcare plan for the summer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 06:29 PM
1

No, I do. I’m not neurotypical. I have to constantly think about my social interactions with people and make an effort to appear “normal”, but I’m a woman so I was socially conditioned to do so. It took me a long time to realize that most people don’t have to struggle to communicate with others and that most people (especially women) don’t use direct communication. I struggle with that so much because I’m literal and I take things that people say at face value. Apparently, that’s not normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:08 PM
2

Could it be that women are not as visual as men so it takes more than raw looks to interest us?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 03:54 PM
2

Yeah, I’m incredibly independent now. 🤣🤪
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:39 AM
–

Because it’s relevant. Every divorce is someone’s personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:37 AM
–

Really?! I left my abuser 16 months ago and I have never been happier!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:30 AM
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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who actively makes it their mission to make you miserable?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:26 AM
–

I get you. I lived the same thing with my parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 01:47 AM
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I tried! I was happy and content when he wasn’t being mean and abusive. He hated seeing me happy so whenever I was happy, he would pick fights and start shit. When I stopped engaging in arguments, he escalated and started getting physical with me. It’s hard to be happy when someone is attacking you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 01:46 AM
–

My mom also changed after my dad left! So much happier! I’m much happier without my ex. My dad was more miserable after leaving my mom and he had a very hard time finding someone else. My mom remarried days after the divorce was final and she’s still with him to this day. My ex seems happier without me, which makes me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:22 AM
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It’s crazy. My ex and I had the most toxic, abusive, and horrible relationship. He assaulted me multiple times when we were together and I did NOT ever hit him. He would have loved that because he would have had the excuse to unleash on me because he felt like a woman who wants to fight like a man deserves to get her butt kicked. He is 6 feet and I’m 5’2”. He is 180 lbs and I’m 130. Anyway, now that we aren’t a couple, we actually get along fine. We are nice to each other and very polite when do…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:53 PM
–

Compare kids of divorce to kids who grow up in a toxic household, not kids with two parents who love one another and have a healthy relationship. I’m betting that kids who have two miserable parents who fight constantly and hate each other are worse off than kids whose parents are divorced. It’s not fair to compare kids whose parents love each other to parents who divorce while not accounting for kids who grow up with toxicity in the home all the time. My kids are better off now that their dad a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:49 PM
5

I second this as a former SAHM who fucked myself financially because of it. I’m soooo lucky that I found a job that pays me 40K but that’s not enough to live on. It sucks, but it’s better than it could have been. I could still be with that asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:25 PM
1

Just be yourself! Don’t even try to be what you believe men want because a person can only mask for so long. If you be yourself and be true to who you are then whomever you end up meeting will either like you for you, or fuck ‘em. I am pretty sure that I’m on the spectrum. I was diagnosed with ADHD, but I have 5 kids and 4 of them are autistic. My ex is autistic, and my partner is autistic. My best friend is autistic, my sister, and my nieces and nephews are all autistic. My mom and dad are also…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:23 PM
1

Both of my sons are autistic and I can’t make them not be autistic. They get all of the different therapies that are offered to them, but they’re still autistic. They need to be themselves. My ex is autistic and was never allowed to just be himself and so now he has a legitimate personality disorder. He is so uncomfortable with himself that he lacks a core personality. He is constantly masking and pretending to be someone that he isn’t and it’s very sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:17 PM
3

Mothers are “more likely” or more mothers are charged with it because more mothers are taking care of their kids than their fathers?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:44 PM
11

My ex was totally disengaged while I was giving birth unless the nurses or doctors were around. After I gave birth to the 2nd set of twins he left and went home. There was no need for him to because the kids were with my mom. I was so disgusted and ashamed because the nurses were like “Where did he go? He left you here alone? You can’t even walk and you lost so much blood!” The nurse took them to the nursery for the first night because I literally couldn’t care for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:43 PM
5

My ex really wanted a baby when we had the last set of twins, but he didn’t want to have anything to do with taking care of them. It was all about the legacy for him. Now that we are not together anymore, he has to take care of them when they’re with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:41 PM
3

It happened, but I got out of that situation and am much better off now. Going through that made me a stronger person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:40 AM
5

This. I had to hide the first night with my kids at my brother’s house and he was driving all over the place looking for me. He was posting all over social media saying horrible things and telling people to tell him where I was. It was so scary. I didn’t tell anybody where I was because I didn’t trust anyone. I trusted my brother, but that was it. I didn’t sleep that night. It was awful. After that I went to my mom’s house who lives an hour away. I felt safer there because I thought that if he d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:04 AM
6

Yup. When I finally left him it was after he took my cell phone from me and left the house with it. I knew it was my one chance because he wouldn’t be able to track my location or contact me since he had my phone. I took all of our kids and went to a safe location. I got a protection order and he didn’t see any of us for 9 months. I dropped the protection order after he completed 9 months of therapy and he’s been fine now. We coparent well and get along better than we ever did as a couple. It wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:00 AM
3

Yup. My ex started cheating after I got pregnant and it was also the first time he ever slapped me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 11:56 PM
4

That is a really long answer, but in short: Trauma bonding is real, sunk cost fallacy, believing he could change, wanting to help him, denial, feeling ashamed, being financially trapped, wanting to keep my children’s family together, and various other reasons. I did eventually leave him after 25 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 11:55 PM
4

Treating a partnership like a transactional relationship isn’t a recipe for a happy relationship. Being exhausted leads to a lower sex drive. Feeling like a maid will also lead to a lower sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:46 PM
5

So? That doesn’t mean that we need to do all the housework and childcare. My partner makes way more than I do, but he does the lion’s share of the housework because he works fewer hours and is working from home while I have a commute and work more hours. He does a lot of work at home while I’m at the office. I wouldn’t be happy if he didn’t lift a finger at home and then told me when I get out of work that it’s my job to clean up after him because he earns more than me. My ex had that attitude. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:43 PM
14

My ex tried to tell me that doing childcare and housework would lower his testosterone, so therefore, I had to do it all. Fuck that shit. It was one of the many, many, many things that led to my leaving. The main one was the domestic violence, but shit like that didn’t help.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:36 PM
1

Yeah, that is what a friend is. Someone who you enjoy being around and who you’re compatible with. My ex and I weren’t compatible and we didn’t like being around one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:36 PM
3

It’s a very common belief. It’s why he lost his shit when our daughter came out as gay and when her twin sister started dating a Latino. He felt like his genetic line was in danger. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:35 PM
3

Wellllll… He wanted to pass his genes on. That was it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:25 PM
2

I honestly used to say that the only way I would ever get time to myself if I get a divorce. It wasn’t why I did it, but it’s definitely a huge benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:42 PM
3

lol not my partner and not me. We LOVE our time together and feel stressed and overwhelmed when our kids are around. Our kids have special needs so that’s part of it. Being around them is never just fun. There is always drama and meltdowns. We wish we could enjoy just bringing them somewhere and not having to worry about the kids getting bored or freaking out because it’s too loud or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:39 PM
2

Hahahaha, it wasn’t the reason, but it’s definitely a huge fringe benefit. My ex would come and go as he pleased and he always put himself first. If I wanted to go run errands without my kids, I would have to ask him permission and then make sure I was back as quickly as possible. It didn’t matter what day of the week it was because since he owned his own business, he could always claim that he was working so he couldn’t watch the kids. Meanwhile, he would take off for entire weekends doing God …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:37 PM
3

It depends on the man. I know that’s awful, but that’s how I feel. Last year I had a man who lived down the road from my mother follow me after he saw me drive by. We had passed one another a few times, but this time he decided to follow me for over 10 miles to give me his number and tell me how attracted to me he is and then tell me how he could “take care of me” and my children. I had left my ex a few months earlier who was very violent and abusive. I was freaked out. First of all, he is in hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 10:53 AM
0

When you truly like or care about someone then you want to see them be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 10:33 AM
1

Sunk cost fallacy and staying together for the kids is a horrible foundation of a relationship between two people who don’t like one another. I also disagree about love being fleeting based on emotions when you actually like and enjoy being around your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 10:32 AM
1

It can’t be love because you don’t know someone well enough in the beginning to love them yet. If it isn’t friendship or lust then what is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 10:29 AM
4

Why pursue a relationship with a woman who you wouldn’t also be friends with. When the lust dies down, you need something in common to build on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 02:32 PM
1

I literally require my partner to also be my friend because if you wouldn’t be friends then the relationship won’t be good at all. My ex and I had nothing in common and wouldn’t be friends. Of course, he has no friends, so there is that… he sees no value in friendships, especially with women. If he can’t get sex then women are useless to him. My boyfriend and I have a lot in common and started as friends with benefits. We fell in love because we share so much in common and get along so well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 02:31 PM
0

Right. It’s pretty guaranteed that at our ages, someone who hasn’t had a lot of sex doesn’t like sex. He and I have been together for nearly a year and he has had more sex with me than anybody else in his life combined. He probably had sex with his ex-wife a total of 40 times. He and I did that within the first month.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 12:41 PM
0

I mean, he’s 51…. Is he supposed to want an 18 year old virgin? He doesn’t have a cuckhold fetish. He was in a dead bedroom marriage with a woman who had zero sex drive. He likes sex and rightly realizes that a woman who has no problem having casual sex is someone who enjoys sex and will have it with him very, very, very frequently. He and I have sex quite often multiple times a day depending upon when we have our kids. We have his child on the same days that we have mine to maximize our alone t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 12:35 PM
1

I don’t think so. I’m progressive and I don’t think it’s patriarchal for women to have sexual agency and be unashamed of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 03:03 AM
0

Tell that to my partner. He loves me and I love him. We started out as FWB, but fell in love. He’s 51 and I’m almost 45. This is our 2nd time living with someone and it’s awesome. We both had very long and unhappy dead bedroom marriages and we both walked away from them. We have a ton in common. I racked up quite a body count in the 6 months after I left my ex and before I met my BF. I was faithful to a cheating, abusive, terrible husband for 25 years and I will be faithful to my BF because I’m …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 03:03 AM
4

Yup. Refusing to be emotionally vulnerable is my biggest red flag when it comes to a partner. Vulnerability is the basis of intimacy and IMO it needs to be reciprocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:06 AM
11

It could be because many men aren’t great at giving emotional support. My ex was horrible at it. I couldn’t be vulnerable with him because it either made him angry or he would use it against me later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:32 PM
4

You mean hugging?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:30 PM
11

This is why I am a huge advocate of men and women being friends with one another. A woman shouldn’t have to be her partner’s ONLY source of emotional support. That’s exhausting and can be difficult if she is also struggling with something and needs support. I am more than happy to be his support system, but I am so happy that he has many other women in his life that he can turn to for support and care.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:08 PM
1

I have a great stepdad.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:17 PM
5

My ex is a real piece of work and my 17 year old twins refuse to see or speak with him. My partner has stepped up so much trying to be a positive influence in their lives. He can’t ever replace their father, but he can inspire them, be there for them, love them, and show them how a lady should be treated. He is such a wonderful man. I am so sorry about your own father. Mine is also a piece of crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:17 PM
13

I think it’s up to the individual to do what they think is best for them. My ex’s niece (huge narcissist) tricked her ex into believing that her baby was his. He didn’t find out until after she was born. She was still a baby and he could have walked out, but he didn’t. He loves her and has 50/50 custody (she’s 12 now). She has no clue that he isn’t her biological father. He even has his own biological son now with his new wife (who happens to be a friend of mine) and he still loves his daughter.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:09 PM
1

Thank you! I didn’t take it personally at all or as an insult. I hold myself accountable for my part in the cycle of abuse, mainly, my lack of self-worth. Of course that’s my parent’s fault for not instilling one in me as a child, but I’m over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 10:21 AM
2

The older I get, the less I care. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 10:19 AM
2

I was pathetic for a long time. I put up with an abusive cheater because I had no sense of self-worth, and that is about as pathetic as you can get. I am so damn glad I grew a spine. Sure, it took me 43 years, but I made it!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:39 AM
3

It’s hard to be specific to gender with this because I can’t think of any behavior that a man could do which would make him pathetic that wouldn’t also make a woman pathetic. The things that you said that make men pathetic also make women pathetic were they to also do it. I guess the only thing that a woman could do that a man can’t do that would be pathetic would be to knowingly trick a man into believing that a child is his when he belongs to someone else. A man can’t get one woman pregnant an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:34 AM
-5

You may have Borderline Personality Disorder. Cutting off your entire family because of one betrayal by one person isn’t normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:43 AM
-2

OMG my EX to a tee! Our 17 year old twin daughters refuse to see or speak with him because he creepily tried to insert himself into their wombs. No, not THAT way, but one of them is a lesbian and he got bent out of shape about that and said that as a father, it’s his job to ensure that he has grandchildren someday. Dude is also a closeted gay- I found the ads on Craig’s list looking for male hookups years ago. The other daughter is dating a Hispanic boy and he had a fit about that because he’s c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:41 AM
8

People should just be themselves and date until they find a person who they’re compatible with. My boyfriend and I are both weird and we truly appreciate one another because we can be our true and unfiltered selves together. That’s a truly joyful relationship. Of course, we’re old. He is solid Gen X and I’m a Xennial.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 03:55 PM
3

I agree. I was a horrible SAHM. I didn’t want to stay home for as long as I did, but my abusive and controlling ex didn’t want me to work. He wanted the power over me. It sucked. I am so glad to be out of that marriage and in a good and healthy relationship with a man who treats me like an equal even though he’s taller, stronger, and makes more money than me. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 12:04 AM
4

This is so true. I was a SAHM for like 15 years and this is the first summer that I have worked full-time instead of being home with my kids and this is so much less stressful
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 11:51 PM
1

When I was a single mom, I was picky about who I wanted to get into a relationship with. I didn’t want to invest my time in someone who I wasn’t serious about and who I wouldn’t want around my kids at some point in the future. I also went through a really long and unhappy marriage and wasn’t willing to settle for someone who I didn’t feel absolutely wonderful with. I found a single dad who fit everything I ever wanted in a partner, and thankfully I am everything he ever wanted as well. Our kids …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:31 PM
5

My ex is a huge narcissist, though. He’s textbook.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:38 PM
3

This is likely why married women’s husbands in general don’t like me or want me to be friends with their wives. I left a terrible marriage in 2023 and I’m absolutely thriving now that I’m out of that toxic relationship. I can see why they think I may be a “bad influence”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:37 PM
7

Physical attractiveness for me is someone who is relatively fit. I don’t need a body builder, but someone who takes care of their body and their health is important to me. Nice smile, again, I don’t need perfect teeth or bleached white, but teeth that are cared for and intact is important to me. My ex had horrible oral hygiene and it was disgusting to me. I don’t like long beards and prefer a clean shaven face, which is what my boyfriend has. I also like tattoos but not too many and not on the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:05 PM
–

Fine, but no partner should ever be a stay at home parent, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:49 PM
–

I don’t care about body count at all either way, to be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:58 PM
3

I have a granny nightgown that my boyfriend hates. Last night we were getting ready for bed and he was saying “I am really tired, but I know what’s going to happen as soon as we get in that bed together. I’m going to feel your ass pressed against me when we’re cuddling together and I won’t be able to stop myself.” So I just said “Awww, I got you.” And when he came into the bedroom and I was putting my night cream on, I was wearing “the nightgown” 🤣🤣🤣 Then he said “You know, I can always take tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 04:36 PM
8

I love the Star Trek reference. We are big nerds. 🤪 He stayed with her because every time he made the decision to separate, their son got cancer. He has had it twice. He finally left when he had been in remission for 4 years. I stayed because I was financially trapped. Thankfully, I have rich parents who helped me when it got to me too much. My boyfriend saved my ass, though. That’s NOT why I am with him, but it is very fortunate that we found one another because I don’t know what would have hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 02:38 PM
22

My partner left his ex because she didn’t have sex with him for 8 years. I left my ex because he assaulted me bad enough that I was afraid he was going to kill me eventually. We are overjoyed to be together at 51 and almost 45. Our exes haven’t been as lucky in love, but that’s life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 10:14 AM
2

I’m almost 45 and look better than I did at 25 or 35. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 10:09 AM
16

Hey, I resemble that whole “Dorks who didn’t take care of themselves when they were younger.” I was definitely a late bloomer looks wise. Dudes who wouldn’t even look at me in HS send me messages on FB sometimes telling me how amazing I look now. I’m in a relationship and am not interested, but even if I wasn’t attached, I still wouldn’t be interested. I don’t want some pot bellied bald middle aged man who peaked in HS.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 01:59 AM
1

I am the one in my relationship who does the yard work because my boyfriend hates doing it and he couldn’t care less what the lawn or flowerbeds look like. I have been cutting back invasive vines, eliminating poison ivy, pulling weeds, planting rose bushes and hydrangeas, and mowing the lawn whenever it gets shaggy. He makes a lot more money than me, works fewer hours, and he works from home. I commute an hour a day total and am at the office for 8.5 hours a day M-F. I still feel guilty that he …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 10:25 PM
4

Who said we don’t want a man with an extremely high libido?! 😍🤤🫣
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 08:10 PM
1

100000%!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 10:41 PM
2

When my boyfriend and I were first dating, before we were even exclusive, I had a situation with my 6 year old son. He had hurt his leg and needed to be brought to the emergency room. I picked him up from school and I had no food for either of us and it was lunch time. I hadn’t eaten anything yet that day. He came to the ER and brought us food, a charger for my son’s tablet that was almost out of batteries, toys and games for my son, and spoke with the doctor and was asking important questions a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 10:18 PM
2

It’s funny because my boyfriend is 6 feet tall, makes 6 figures, has a gorgeously chiseled jaw, a nice 🍆 and knows how to use it. He doesn’t have a 6 pack, but he has a great physique. He’s 51 and is in better shape than a lot of younger guys and looks younger too. He’s Latino and extremely handsome. He told me that he has had a hard time dating before we met. I was surprised to hear that because I think he’s quite possibly the perfect man, but it’s true. The only thing I can think that may be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:34 PM
6

That was one of the things that drew me to my partner. He had good things to say about his ex and they get along well. She and I get along way better, she is my friend, but the fact that they have a good coparenting relationship was a huge green flag. I had to process through my feelings in the beginning because I was extremely jealous for awhile… but I realized that my feelings of jealousy weren’t because I was jealous of her- but jealous of HIM- because he had a solid co-parent to help share t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 10:28 PM
3

I’m a 44 year old Xennial so my experiences may not apply to the younger generation. That said, these are some red flags that I experienced a year ago when I was an unattached single mother: One of the biggest issues I came across were with men who were also my age and single fathers. A few of them expected me to be available 24/7 to read and reply to text messages, and they got extremely bent out of shape when I would go all day without checking my phone. I even told them that I was going to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 10:23 PM
2

I agree with that. I never say no to sex unless I am having a really heavy period and I know it’s going to be a bloodbath. I would give him a BJ, but he says he can’t get off from them. He’s fine with it if we can’t have sex, though, because when I’m not having a heavy period, we have sex nearly every day and often more than once a day. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 11:29 PM
2

Yes, he is definitely narcissistic. His girlfriend just left him after living with him for less than 2 months. The mask dropped and she said that he wasn’t the man she thought he was. Glad she escaped before she became totally dependent on him. He was trying to get her to quit her job and let him support her.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 11:08 PM
3

Now I’m trying to decide if I could punch a baby for a million dollars. I mean, would I get in trouble for it? How hard do I have to punch the baby? The baby won’t remember, so as long as I don’t cause any injuries how bad can it be? I mean… a million dollars?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 12:20 AM
1

My boyfriend told me that he wouldn’t be upset if I had sex with someone else. He said he knows who I love and want to spend my life with. I absolutely do not want to have sex with anybody else, and I told him that I would be very upset if he had sex with someone else. I trust that he’s faithful to me and I don’t question his love for me. I think that he just has very open views about sex and sexuality. He said he doesn’t want to have sex with anybody else either, and he is more than satisfied w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 12:18 AM
2

My ex had different cheating boundaries for each of us. He could do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted and it wasn’t cheating. I wasn’t allowed to even speak to another man or I was cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 11:15 PM
-4

I’m almost 45 and I’m hotter than I was in my 30’s
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:20 PM
1

I get that. It’s pretty pervasive in our culture and I used to be guilty of that when I was younger. There is this bizarre and toxic idea that someone who really loves you will anticipate your needs and wants. It’s ridiculous. Other than things that are common courtesy, no, nobody is a freaking mind reader.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 10:25 PM
1

Yes, same in my relationship! It’s been 9 months, which isn’t that long, but I don’t foresee any problems because he and I are both so direct
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 01:32 PM
4

My trauma from my past relationship made me so intolerant of anybody who isn’t just clear and direct. I have told my co-workers and supervisors that I absolutely require direct communication and that I can’t do “hints”. If you tell me what you need, I will do just about anything, but I’m not a mind reader. I don’t need to be told multiple times what the expectation is, but if there is a new task that I need to do, you have to tell me. If I do something wrong, tell me right away and I will fix it…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 01:30 PM
7

I agree with this. I have no problem communicating my needs clearly, but some men have a real problem with an assertive woman. My ex is a primary example of that. He would never communicate his needs clearly and directly, and he sure hated it when I did. He still does. He will accuse of of “being angry” or “being pushy” when I’m simply being assertive and direct. I’m not rude or mean, I am just clear and direct. Thank God my boyfriend isn’t like that at all. He likes it that I’m clear, direct, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 01:27 PM
3

Everybody wants what they don’t have.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 10:09 AM
6

I also enjoy the outside interaction and contributing to the economy. I love getting a paycheck and buying things with my own money.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 03:17 AM
3

Thank you! I’m definitely doing better than I imagined I would. I see a brighter future on the horizon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 09:53 PM
14

I love working in an office after doing the tradwife thing for 15 years. My ex was abusive, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 08:21 PM
5

I can tell you from personal experience that being a “tradwife” fucked me over. My ex had all of the power and resources and I had nothing. I still have nothing. He cheated on me, abused me, controlled me, and now I’m starting over at 44 lucky that I’m earning 40K/year, but that’s still a very low wage in this economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 08:19 PM
–

I disagree. While I love how my partner makes me feel a lot of the time, sometimes I don’t feel good around him. When he’s anxious, stressed, or upset, it feels terrible. I still love him and it hurts to see him struggling. I do everything I can to help him because I love him so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:53 AM
9

I think it’s bullshit. I love my partner with my entire soul. He is the great love of my life and he will be by my side long after the kids are grown and flown. What a sad existence it would be for women if we could only love children when they are small for such a short time. I am a mother and I do love them, but the love and bond that I feel for my partner is so much different.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:49 AM
23

I can confirm this. My ex had this attitude and I eventually left him because he was soooo toxic and I came to realize that I would never convince him that I am a good woman. If he didn’t see that I am a wonderful wife then I deserved to find someone who would love and appreciate me. I found that in my partner. We adore one another. He has a girlfriend now who has low self-esteem and mental health struggles. He talks badly about her to our kids, although they say that he is nice to her face. I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:29 PM
2

My boyfriend farted last night and it was stinky enough where some people may have left, but I just said “Ohhh, that was a good one!” 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:23 PM
2

It depends on the person and the situation. I knew people who divorced and the child split visitation between mom, dad, and stepdad after the split.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:22 PM
1

My standards are respect, honesty, kindness, direct communication, being secure, freedom to be friends with whomever you choose, and emotional intimacy- all of which I offer in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 10:15 AM
15

If it’s a turnoff for her then it’s a turnoff for her. You can’t expect someone to be attracted to someone that they just don’t find attractive emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 12:48 AM
0

Uh, I guess it depends on who you marry. I never tried to prevent my ex from hanging out with people and my boyfriend hangs out with his friends often, and his friends are primarily women. I prefer marriage over just living together because of the benefits of marriage. It helps with taxes and probate in the event of a death.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 03:11 PM
1

Ummm, I was with one man for 25 years! I was with him from age 18-43. I picked him because I was 18 years old and didn’t know shit about shit. I had a dysfunctional childhood and so did he, so we were both just playing out unhealthy patterns of behavior. Now, as for fucking guys and where I found them, I did whatever the hell I wanted to after I left him and I met most of them on Tinder. I wasn’t trying to get into a new relationship right away and I was more interested in meeting new people. Mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 01:56 PM
2

I do, every single night and sometimes in the mornings too. I would rather be with a man who is loving, respectful, honest, faithful, open, secure, and competent. I don’t need to deal with some intimacy avoidant guy who thinks his shit doesn’t stink and who feels like he has to play mind games to achieve some kind of dominance over me. My man is dominant in bed, which is hot as hell, but he treats me like an equal in every other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:19 AM
2

I know that my preferences have changed. I couldn’t settle for someone I’m not attracted to, though. I have a good man who I also find incredibly attractive. I can’t stop looking at him or touching him when we are together. Everything about him turns me on from his voice to his arms and chest, his face, and his personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 08:02 PM
1

Well, I’m good now. He went too far and thankfully I was able to get away from him just in time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:56 PM
9

I was trapped because I have 5 kids with my ex and I was a SAHM. I was only able to leave with my parent’s help, and it cost them tens of thousands of dollars to help me escape. There was no age gap, but there was a huge power and finance gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 04:41 PM
16

Hell no.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 02:36 AM
1

Well, exactly. My bare minimum standards include stupid shit like: “Can’t be too into sports, must be somewhat autistic, must be a geek, must have a high sex drive, no musicians.” Just to name a few.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:51 PM
17

I misread this the first time so I deleted my answer and am rewriting it. Everybody’s bare minimum should be: Kind, respectful, honest, open, and good at communicating. Period. Without that then you won’t have a good relationship no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 04:31 PM
1

Yeah, I agree with you on that. It was just my personal experience with my ex, but after leaving him and meeting dozens of other men, I learned that he is definitely an odd duck. Of course, the men who I interacted with are attracted to fit and attractive women so the sample may have been biased as well. IDK. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 04:24 PM
1

I’m glad you got out as well. Nobody should have to live that way. I listen to my body, honestly. If I feel more tense when they are around then it’s not a good relationship. Everybody has bad days and I’m highly sensitive to other people’s moods (although I know that is a toxic trait that I am working on. Nobody should have to manage someone else’s emotions and hold their feelings inside so as to not cause their partner discomfort.). My boyfriend struggles with anxiety and has bad days and it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 04:15 PM
1

My boyfriend made it clear to me that if I get fat and/or let myself go then it’s over between us. I think that’s fair, TBH. Physical attraction is important and he got together with me at this size and shape. Obviously bodies change with menopause and stuff, and that’s coming in a decade or so, but my mom is HOTTER post-menopause so I am going to follow her example and do what she’s doing. Strict diet and exercise regime.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:13 PM
1

Well, some men do want their partner to let herself go so that they don’t have to worry about other men wanting her. Lame AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:10 PM
2

Yes, yes it did. I mean, I was “content” when he wasn’t being an asshole. I’m generally a happy person who tries to find the good in every situation and look on the bright side. I had no idea how good it could feel to be in a happy relationship with a person who loves and respects me and who I could also respect. I treated my ex with respect, but it was impossible to actually feel genuine respect for him when he behaved so disrespectfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:08 PM
1

My ex was like that, but I didn’t feel good about myself at all. I wanted to be healthy, so I lost weight. I’m not trying to brag, but I have a beautiful face and a nice body and I look gorgeous with or without makeup. I look hot dressed up or in shorts and a tank top. I wasn’t willing to be fat just to appease his insecurity. He was smarter this time with his new relationship. He picked a woman who doesn’t have a pretty face so he won’t ever have to worry about her being too attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:19 AM
3

That’s why I don’t get what my ex’s fucking problem was. You would think he would have been HAPPY to have a beautiful wife, but nope. He fucking hated it when I lost weight and started putting effort in again. My boyfriend loves it. He will come out and say that he wants to “show me off” and that I make him feel like a man. I never would have left my ex if he had been nice to me. That was all I wanted was for him to just be nice to me instead of put me down all the time. I did get a much better,…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:13 AM
1

Also, there are lesbians who love to get dolled up who aren’t remotely interested in male validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:07 AM
1

Um, well, noooo… I learned it from popular culture. I was born a “girlie girl” and I was definitely not thinking about male validation at 4 years old when I was putting on pretty dresses and playing in my mom’s makeup.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:07 AM
1

So then I assume that if you meet a beautiful woman and get into a relationship with her, you expect her to let herself go in order to prove her commitment to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:05 AM
2

Yeah, although with my ex it was the opposite. He liked me fat, frumpy, and dumpy. When I decided to lose weight and I gained some self-confidence and started to dress better and put more effort in, he hated it so much. He’s insecure as hell, though. He has a new girlfriend who is thin, but her face isn’t pretty so she will never be able to be all that attractive no matter what. Perfect for an insecure man like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 09:51 AM
1

I dress up and put makeup on because I want to and for no other reason. Today, I was makeup free when I went to work. I didn’t have time to put it on before I had to bring my kids to school and get to the office, and I didn’t care. I felt fine about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:03 AM
2

So why do women in happy and committed relationships continue to make an effort to look good if they’re no longer trying to get a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:01 AM
6

I’m pretty oblivious when it comes to hints and stuff. I have people strike up conversations with me, but unless someone comes out and says “I find you attractive, here is my number.” then I assume they are just being friendly. I have had it happen a few times.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 12:43 AM
1

Well, I am a 10 in fuckability.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 09:31 PM
2

Ok, but being fuckable vs being someone you want to spend your life with are two different things. I don’t find neurotypical men attractive because I’m not neurotypical. I couldn’t imagine spending my life with a normie. How do you even relate? I don’t get it. I never saw the appeal of “Chad”. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 07:35 PM
4

This is so subjective because everybody wants something different. To some people I might be a -100000, but to my partner, I am a 100. For example, I’m sterilized. To a man who wants kids, I am not what you would want, but to a man who doesn’t, it’s a selling point. I’m 44. To a man who wants a young woman, I’m not what you want. To a man who is older and wants someone with my experience, wisdom, confidence, and sex drive then it’s a selling point. I’m not highly educated. Some people like that,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 04:23 PM
3

Yeah, I stuck it out with him for 25 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 01:07 AM
3

Well, maybe, but in my case it’s been awesome. The marriage was a dreadful, painful thing that negatively affected my physical and mental health. Everything else has felt easy in comparison to being with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 12:14 AM
5

Yeah, I am walking away with nothing. It’s totally worth it, though. I wouldn’t go back to my ex for all of the money in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:31 PM
1

This!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:30 PM
2

How do you know that now that we have no-fault divorce? My ex cheated on me, assaulted me, and treated me like shit for years. That won’t go in any statistic because my state has no-fault divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:29 PM
1

Why would society be healthier if people were forced to remain in a marriage against their will? Seems kind of antithetical to freedom and liberty.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:26 PM
3

If you’re looking for scientific studies, you just won’t find them because psychologists and sociologists likely weren’t researching stuff like that back then. I think it’s just common sense, honestly. People don’t have to stay in unhappy marriages anymore, whereas the past, it was much more difficult to get a divorce. My grandmother on my mother’s side was miserable and she bore 8 children, and told my mother that she didn’t have a choice and she was just a vessel. My father’s mother was an OG …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:11 PM
2

Ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 08:29 PM
1

What privileges do you want?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:29 PM
2

I never said that wealthy people have more kids. I said that the wealthy can afford to put their kids through college which then allows them to continue building more generational wealth. Poor and middle class kids who go to college are graduating with tons of debt and can’t afford kids. The poor are having lots of kids anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:28 PM
3

Yes, you don’t have to spend your limited resources on kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:45 PM
3

No, I didn’t know that working would be easier than being a SAHM. I also didn’t know that I would have twins, twice, or that 4 of my kids would be autistic. I wouldn’t give them up, but I’m just being honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:44 PM
1

What does the data show?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:43 PM
4

Yes. My first set of twins turned 17 today and my second set of twins is going to be seven in August.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:39 AM
7

I love my kids, but holy fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 10:33 AM
-1

Sure. You can also smoke weed in the United States. Forget the fact that many states prosecute and imprison people for it. You can still do it!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:57 AM
2

Whatev. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:55 AM
0

I just checked and it looks like Ohio may have changed their laws? That said, several states have banned Abortion and unless you have money and can afford to travel, you are essentially unable to get an abortion in several states.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:49 AM
1

Really? In Ohio?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:47 AM
3

I curse my ancestors for leaving Denmark quite frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:47 AM
1

Embryos can’t be aborted everywhere, or have you been asleep for the last 2 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:45 AM
6

That’s why the wealth gap is increasing. People with wealth are able to invest more in their children. People without wealth can’t, and those who do achieve higher education (but didn’t come from money) end up taking on tremendous debt and then in turn forego children because they can’t afford kids and student debt. Uneducated poor people have the kids anyway and receive government benefits for being poor, and then they end up raising kids in poverty which brings about another host of problems. …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:43 AM
8

Hahaha you DO get more financial privileges. Kids are fucking expensive whether you’re married or single. Holy fuck. I had my kids all weekend and I’m more tired from the weekend. I was so exhausted and stressed out that I was looking forward to coming to work today. I was a SAHM for years and working is by far much, much easier than being home with kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:39 AM
9

A lot of people only take 6 weeks. When I had my first set of twins I was working for my father’s business and I had to return to work after 2 weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:35 AM
–

I fixed it long before I left him. I have been working on myself since 2020 and haven’t stopped. I’m still working to improve myself every day. My BF and I started out as FWB. We’re both people with a high sex drive and we lived like 2 minutes away from one another. He has a child with special needs and I also have kids with special needs. We connected as friends immediately and we both have the same views on sexuality and relationships, and we have been on a similar path in our lives. He was wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 05:48 PM
–

I wasn’t a chronic single mom. I was with one man for 25 years and he’s the father of all of my kids. After getting out of an unhappy 25 year long relationship, I wasn’t in a hurry to jump into a new one, especially with the wrong person. I met a few men who just told me straight up that they weren’t interested in a relationship with a woman with young kids. I wasn’t asking for a relationship, but I appreciated the honesty. I was open to a relationship if the right person came along, and he did.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 04:11 PM
–

I guess. I used to be obese but lost the weight 4 years ago and have maintained a healthy weight ever since. No surgery. I just got my shit together. I was 10 lbs lighter last year but was unhappy with my shriveled tits so I gained 10 lbs back. Still in the healthy weight category, but my thighs touch again. It sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 11:53 PM
–

Some men prefer overweight women. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Just like some people prefer single parents. I was pretty leery about men without kids when I was on the market.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 11:43 PM
–

Hahaha, no, they weren’t. 😂. I don’t want to be with anybody who doesn’t want to be with me. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship in the first place. I was looking to enjoy myself after getting out of a long and unhappy marriage. I was open to love if the right person came along, and there were plenty of men who wanted me, but I refused to settle. I would rather be single than be in a relationship that wasn’t mutually fulfilling. I did find my person, and I feel blessed every day for what we…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 11:40 PM
45

Demonized by whom? I can tell you that most people are perfectly fine with people having preferences. There is a difference between saying something like: “I don’t want to date a woman with young children.” And “Women with young children aren’t relationship material and they’re worthless. I hate seeing them on dating apps, and anybody who dates them is a loser.” Preferences are fine while value judgements are kind of shitty. I had MANY men reject me because of the fact that I have young kids. Ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 02:23 PM
8

I can’t begin to express the gratitude that I feel toward my boyfriend that he does so much of this!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 06:51 PM
–

I have an ADHD diagnosis, but after raising 4 autistic kids, I have a hunch that I’m probably on the spectrum too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:36 PM
9

Yes! My ex is autistic and he plays in two bands and loves concerts. My partner is also on the spectrum and while he isn’t a musician (thank God) he and I have had a blast at a few concerts. I’m on the spectrum too and while some sounds and noises bother me, loud music isn’t one of them (hooray!)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:42 PM
3

I mean, I prefer to date neurodivergent people rather than normies, as a neurodivergent woman. I have a hard time relating to normies, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:39 PM
1

Find a woman with ADHD or who is also autistic? I think they’re one and the same, honestly… at least in the same family. It feels like I have had relationships almost exclusively with men on the spectrum. My ex is autistic and we had 5 kids together, 4 of whom are autistic and one with pretty severe ADHD. I have an ADHD diagnosis but I think I’m probably autistic too. My partner is autistic and has ADHD. My best friend is autistic, and another very close friend of mine is autistic. He and I woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:14 AM
3

So are Latinas! I don’t get why my man has a preference for white women when Latinas are some of the sexiest women on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:09 PM
0

Mmm Spanish dudes. My BF is 1/2 Salvadoran and 1/2 Colombian, but the Salvadoran side is almost entirely Spanish so he looks like a dark Spaniard with some strong Colombian features and oh my fuck is he a hottie.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 09:39 AM
2

I don’t care. I have used a vibrator before when my SO wasn’t in the mood, but I didn’t even go into the bathroom. I did it right in bed beside him. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 09:21 AM
2

Yeah, go to Columbia and tell me that. His mom is Colombian and she’s in her 80’s with amazing skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:51 PM
2

I don’t and my boyfriend doesn’t have “old people’s skin texture”. He is Latino and I just take good care of my skin, and I have been genetically blessed with great skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:32 PM
9

I am 44 and I definitely do NOT feel old at all. I’m in better shape than I was in my 20’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:31 PM
1

I’m good now. I’m at peace with my life, myself, and I don’t have anything to do with my father at all. I was just saying that in that one way, my life could have been easier if I was a guy. In general, however, I am very happy being a woman. I wouldn’t change it at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 10:54 PM
2

Well, he had a son AND a daughter. He should have loved us both and invested in both of us equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 10:45 PM
2

Girls need their fathers. Trust me. They want their daddy to love, protect, and care for them. To just cast aside a child because they aren’t the gender you wanted is very damaging and painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 10:33 PM
0

I say that everybody is entitled to their own personal perspectives! Everybody has a unique experience in life and perhaps, for them, they would have preferred to be a man. I may value things about being a woman that they don’t value. They may value things that I take for granted as well. I did have one thought after answering that I wanted to share. One thing, had I been born male, I would have had some advantages personally. My father would have valued and invested in me, and I would have like…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 01:21 PM
9

I’m sure it would be harder as a man. First of all, I have done AI gender swap things before using different models and they all show me being not super good looking as a man. Also, I am short. I’m only 5’2”, so I doubt I would be a tall man. My father is only 5’4”. My brother is a very large man, though, so IDK. He may have been a tall woman like my mom, who is 5’7”. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m also neurodivergent, so that would be another strike against me. I thank God every day that I was born a woman. I absol…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 10:27 AM
2

I’m 6.5 years younger than my SO, but we also both have minor children. The fact that he is still raising a child 50% of the time was a dealbreaker for most women his own age. The fact that I still have minor children that I have part-time was a dealbreaker for a lot of men my age whose kids are grown up and moved out.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:32 PM
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/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 11:25 AM
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It’s so common for someone to tightly control their partner from having any access to money when they are a stay at home parent. My ex was a douchebag, and he didn’t want me to work outside of the home, but I had full access to the bank account. He just threw it in my face a lot that I wasn’t earning an income, but when I tried to get a job, he would have a fit. It was exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:05 AM
2

Yeah, and it was legal to beat your wife, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:53 PM
1

People can divorce or breakup for any reason and every reason is valid. If someone no longer wants to be in a relationship then it’s best to end it, because everybody deserves to be in a relationship with someone who WANTS to be with them. But to answer your question directly: yes, incompatible sexual desire is a perfectly valid reason to end a relationship regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:50 PM
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I used to say tubes removed but then people would get confused and think I had a hysterectomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:22 AM
1

Nope. I didn’t want a damn thing from him. I get no child support, no welfare (because I let him claim primary custody of the kids so HE gets welfare, not me… I didn’t want him to lose his Medicaid because at least I get benefits at my job while he owns his own business.) and I didn’t want a payout from the house because I didn’t want my kids to lose the only home they ever knew. I still have the kids half the time, but I don’t say anything about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 10:25 AM
2

Well, my tubes weren’t tied. They fully removed them because it reduces the risk of ovarian cancer. I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum because of the way I use language TBH.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 10:21 AM
8

I think that is why I started enjoying sex so much more after I got sterilized. I knew there was zero chance of pregnancy, so I could just have fun and enjoy myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:33 PM
7

Ask anybody who has gone through probate as the “girlfriend of the deceased” rather than the widow.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 02:13 AM
7

I wouldn’t want to live with someone indefinitely without the benefit of marriage. I work for a property management company that manages many low-income housing developments and I get calls a few times a week from homeless women in their 50’s and 60’s who lived with their boyfriends in his houses. The boyfriend died and his next-of-kin inherited the house and threw them out so they could sell it. It’s awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 02:11 AM
3

Yes, but my ex cheated on me and then he assaulted me, so I left him. I need to work to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 12:17 AM
2

Well, I don’t want to be homeless, so I have to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:58 PM
3

Then you know how incredibly expensive it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:04 PM
3

It’s better short-term, sure. Long-term it’s a horrible idea because you are permanently harming your ability to advance in your career. Take it from a 44 year old former SAHM starting at the very bottom of the career ladder. I was honestly lucky to get the job I did with the company that I work for, and I only got it because I have connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:03 PM
2

Do you live on your own and support yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:01 PM
9

Yes. I make around 40K pretax because I was a SAHM and my kids are STILL fucked up and now I’m too poor to provide for them. Yay for dumb choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:59 PM
3

You are forgetting the fact that raising kids is fucking expensive. How are you going to do that when you can’t even afford a mortgage?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:57 PM
0

What is the point, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:52 PM
1

I was 18 and had a very low self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 04:10 PM
2

I have nothing to do with my father at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 12:15 PM
3

It just made me appreciate my wonderful man even more. He spent 2 decades with a woman who was hyper critical of him and shockingly, he has a critical mother. Funny how we repeat patterns in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 12:14 PM
5

He was misogynistic towards me from pretty much the start, but my father is also a misogynist, so being with him was a toxic pattern for me. I spent 25 years trying to win the love of a man who was incapable of loving me because I was trying to fill the void my father left in me by having a daughter he didn’t care for. I have a brother who is a year younger than me and it’s obvious who he valued the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:24 AM
1

That’s a very good point! My ex is pretty misanthropic in general. He has no real friends at all and he owns his own business working by himself with animals. He also has very low opinions of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:14 AM
3

I was married to such a man for 25 years and I gave up trying to figure him out a long time ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:56 AM
18

I’m all for legalizing and regulating sex work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 12:49 AM
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That’s wonderful! Congratulations on your happy relationship. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:32 PM
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I have zero problem with brutal honesty as long as it isn’t said with the intention to hurt my feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:31 PM
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Jesus Christ. That sounds exhausting. Has that worked for you with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:28 PM
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Not really that rare. Most of the men I dated were shocked to hear that I used to be fat. Some didn’t believe me, so I showed them pictures and I wasn’t at all offended when they recoiled in horror. A couple of guys said that they thought I was still beautiful back then, which was very kind to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:28 PM
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Not really. Lol it takes a lot to get me upset. Ha ha.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:25 PM
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I’m not interested in being with somebody who hasn’t grown or developed as a person since their early adulthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:24 PM
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Well, I think that as long as you have that scorekeeping mindset then you’re not going to be happy. You’re never going to know how much her previous partner spent or how much attention she gave to him. How is somebody supposed to prove to you that they are giving you more than they gave to previous partners or that you are spending less than previous partners spent? Just look at inflation! Obviously everyone is going to end up spending more in this economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:23 PM
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I find competence and stability incredibly sexy. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that I also find my partner incredibly physically attractive as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 01:20 PM
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Let me flip the script on that. I used to be morbidly obese. Through hard work and watching my diet, I slowly lost 100 lbs over 18 months. I don’t have saggy skin (except my belly because I’ve had twins) so most people are shocked to hear that I was obese at one time. How is it any different from being with a man who flat out tells me that he wouldn’t have been interested in me when I was fat? I was still the same person. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 01:19 PM
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My parents “got together” because my dad and mom had unprotected sex on the first date and made me. My dad married my mom because it was what was expected back then. They were a horrible match and fought constantly. They divorced 10 years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 11:21 PM
1

I may just be pretty low maintenance. Any effort he puts in at all means the world to me because my ex put in zero effort and was a big time taker. I think the bar for my SO and I is pretty low because of our previous marriages. We appreciate each other so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 02:36 PM
0

My SO does the bulk of everything because he works from home and doesn’t have to work as many hours as I do while he is also making 3x what I make. I feel so lucky to have him. 😍
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 12:13 PM
2

My SO still puts time and effort into impressing me every day and he’s very high value and successful at his job. He is generally just a high effort person who puts his all into everything he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 12:11 PM
2

When my boyfriend and I decided to become exclusive, we had a conversation about being exclusive. He had sex with his ex GF about a week after we first had sex, but I wasn’t upset or angry about it and I’m still not. We hadn’t decided to be exclusive yet and he was upfront and honest with me about it. He only told me because we agreed that if we were going to be having sex with each other, we each had a right to know if the other person had sex with someone else so we could make an informed deci…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 11:37 PM
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I left him after he cheated on and violently assaulted me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 09:43 PM
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How do you have a healthy relationship with someone who is committed to NOT having a healthy relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 08:36 PM
1

I’m far from helpless! When I say “value” I am speaking in the sense of employment value rather than my value as a person or a partner. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt my boyfriend’s feelings any if I had more money. His ex-wife earns more than him and the two women he dated before he met me were wealthy. One of them is an endocrinologist. I was honestly worried when we first started dating that he would find my lack of a career a turn off, but he said that he cares more about intelligence than educat…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 08:03 PM
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Yup. My marriage was doomed when he swallowed the red pill
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 04:08 PM
2

I fucked myself over, though. I had zero value at all as a housewife.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 04:08 PM
1

Your opinion. I got catcalled today at the office when I was getting mail from the box. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 04:07 PM
1

That’s true. He has many decades more experience than me. I was a SAHM for many years while he was working on his career.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 11:07 AM
1

This is true. My boyfriend is very competent and hard working, but his job is pretty easy and he doesn’t have to work many hours at all. He told me he probably works 30 hours a week total and he makes 6 figures. I bust my ass at work and make like 35K.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:06 AM
1

I want to make as much as my BF someday. I work hard at my job trying to get there eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:04 AM
3

So I am NOT a gold digger or a sprinkle sprinkle or whatever. I’m with my boyfriend because he’s the most self-aware and in touch with his emotions man I have ever gotten to know. He’s also very attractive to me and we have so much in common. He spoils the shit out of me; though. He didn’t at first, but the longer we get into our relationship, the more he does. Last night he went to TJ Maxx and bought me like 6 outfits there while I was at home making dinner. He said he went in there looking for…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:00 AM
10

I never tried to manipulate him because that isn’t how my brain works.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 02:36 AM
24

My ex had the mindset that all women are manipulative, which made communicating with him fucking impossible. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get him to take my words at face value. He thought that I always had an ulterior motive. It was exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 12:19 AM
2

I would never say something mean, abusive, or disrespectful to my boyfriend- nor would he treat me that way. I want him to feel good, not bad. I have called him out on his shit before, as he has done to me, but we do it in a respectful and loving way.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 12:17 AM
2

Women could approach men?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 11:18 PM
4

My boyfriend is pretty entertaining, but no, he isn’t famous, and I’m pretty hot for a 44 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:15 PM
3

I agree that communication is a challenge for most people. That’s the main reason why my boyfriend and I hit it off so well and are in a relationship with one another. Our communication style is very compatible with one another and we have a similar temperament. We’re both direct, honest, open to feedback, yet kind and respectful. I’ve found it very rare amongst men to be so open and vulnerable with their feelings, and he told me that he has found it rare to meet a woman who can express her thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 09:29 PM
11

That’s absolute bullshit. My boyfriend tries really hard to make me happy and I don’t feel like I have “all the power”, nor do I feel less interested in him. Quite the opposite, actually. I feel like my boyfriend and I share power in the relationship equally. There are no power struggles because we’re a partnership! We both put in effort and try hard to show up for each other every day. Yesterday, I had a horrible day at work. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. When I got home from wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 04:26 PM
2

I think I would like to get some chickens at some point. Lol that’s about as close to a pet as I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:03 AM
1

Doesn’t do anything for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 11:14 PM
1

Yesssss! Like, I love that my boyfriend and I have the same exact political opinions, but I don’t give a fuck about politics anymore at all. I used to be very political, but I’m burnt out on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:46 PM
4

I’m the opposite. I didn’t want to date anybody who was really into pets. My boyfriend and I are pet free and I like it that way. It’s just a lot of work and responsibility that we don’t want to have to deal with because we both have special needs kids that take up a lot of energy when they’re with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:45 PM
1

I like quilting. lol I hadn’t had time to quilt in a few years because I was so busy with life, but when my boyfriend and I moved into the duplex that he bought, he made sure that I would have a space for my quilting table and sewing machine. 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:40 PM
4

I quit smoking for my boyfriend. Granted, I only smoked for 3 months when we started dating, but I wanted to drop the habit and was having a hard time with it. He kissed me one night and was like “Yuck! It’s like kissing an ashtray!” And that was enough for me. I was so embarrassed and I quit after that. I was 43 years old and had begun smoking because of the neighborhood I had moved to. All of my neighbors were smokers and I started getting the urge to smoke a lot. I’m glad to not be smoking an…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:39 PM
5

I don’t ever want to date another musician again. My ex plays in 2 bands and I’m fucking over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 10:36 PM
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Where did I say that? I said I have dated someone that I didn’t have an emotional connection with, but the connection grew over time as we got to know one another more. Emotional connection doesn’t happen overnight. I did marry someone who I didn’t have a deep emotional connection with, and it ended in divorce. I didn’t know what it was like to have an emotional connection with a partner because I was too young when we got married. I can honestly say that the relationship I am in now is the firs…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:01 AM
1

Some women like it when men get sexual fast. 🤣. It very much depends on the woman. He waited for me to drop the first hint, but once I did and he caught on to what I was saying, it was fucking on. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 06:37 PM
2

It varies, honestly, because I have been sexually attracted to men of all different types. It isn’t height, because I have been with tall men and short men and everything in between. Never someone shorter than me, but I’m 5’2”. It isn’t income, because I have been attracted to unemployed dudes before and I don’t want someone’s money anyway. Not race, been with lots of races. Not weight, because I have been with skinny dudes, fat dudes, jacked dudes…. Doesn’t matter. I have met men who should hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 04:38 PM
5

If by chemistry you mean emotional connection then yes, I would and I did. The emotional connection came in time because that doesn’t happen overnight. If you mean sexual attraction, then no. I need to be sexually attracted to my partner. I tried this with a man who I wasn’t attracted to right away. It ended badly because he was extremely into me and was very disappointed when I called it off after 2 weeks of dating because I was just absolutely not attracted to him. I was honest (but kind) and …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 09:45 AM
2

I’ve never dated a woman before, so I have no clue. My boyfriend told me that most women he dated before me were dull, boring, and not all that intelligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:16 PM
1

I misinterpreted your comment and took it literally
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 01:18 PM
2

YES! You described my BF.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:59 AM
1

My boyfriend definitely calls me on my shit, and I call him on his, but we do it in a loving and caring way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:58 AM
2

I’m the one in the relationship who rarely cries. He has never seen me truly sobbing or fall apart. I have seen him completely lose it, but he’s Latino and I’m a pureblooded yankee WASP so I was raised to keep my emotions under control while he was raised to let it all out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:57 AM
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I have 2 sets of twins with my ex, and I love sex. When I was with my ex I was faithful, and now that I am in a committed relationship again I am faithful, but when I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I had sex with whomever I wanted to. 🤷🏻‍♀️ My BF is also a sex freak and he only has 1 child, but he and his ex wife had several miscarriages before the successful pregnancy with their son. His fertility is also proven.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:39 AM
3

Amen to that!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:31 AM
1

Ok, but forcing people to have kids they don’t want is better for society?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:30 AM
9

Who are you cuffing up? Oh, right, nobody. 😃
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:49 AM
13

But why would a liberated woman want to be with a man who is going to judge her for having fun while she’s single?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:49 AM
11

Ok, but he’s getting laid every morning and every night by a beautiful woman who adores him. How is your philosophy working out for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:47 AM
6

Yeah, go for the woman who doesn’t like sex. That will work out awesome long-term. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:46 AM
8

I left my ex of 25 years, probably slept with 20 different men in 6 months (I honestly lost count), and I live with my amazing boyfriend who is fully committed to me and knows all about my past. He doesn’t feel threatened by it at all. He’s the best looking, most successful, kindest, sweetest, most loving man I have ever been with in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:45 AM
12

What makes you think that a liberated woman would even want you for a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:42 AM
6

Why do you think they want men to invest in them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:40 AM
1

My boyfriend said that he gets checked out and flirted with a lot more now that he’s with me. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 04:09 PM
1

Rock shows. This time it was Social Distortion and Bad Religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 04:08 PM
1

The yelling was pretty common with my ex, which is one of the many reasons why he is my ex! The claiming/being approached the second my boyfriend or ex walked away happens almost every time we go out together. I was so fucking traumatized by the incident with my ex that I ended up packing on like 70 lbs just to try to make myself as invisible as possible. I had lost 50 lbs right before this happened and was looking pretty hot. After that, I decided that it wasn’t worth it. I ended up losing the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 02:38 PM
1

That’s funny because in my life, my 17 year old daughter is more obsessed with it than anyone else I know. I keep telling her that she needs to calm down and that back in my day, it was no big deal. When I was 17 I dated a 27 year old guy. I had graduated from HS and I was a couple months shy of 18, but it wasn’t a big deal and I don’t think he was a “predator”. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was all for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 12:38 PM
1

We stay home the vast, vast majority of nights. We both enjoy concerts and bars from time to time, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:08 PM
1

I would feel bad being rude to someone. I’m so happy to be in a healthy relationship now with a secure man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:06 PM
2

I’m not bad for a 44 year old. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:05 PM
1

I’m generally a warm and friendly person to everybody I meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:03 PM
1

Thank God that’s how my boyfriend is. I had a guy grab my entire ass at a bar on Halloween right in front of my boyfriend and he wasn’t threatened by it. He said “I know who you’re going home with.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:02 PM
1

It was a Social Distortion/Bad Religion concert
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:57 PM
1

I like almost all music, but this was a Social Distortion and Bad Religion double bill.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:56 PM
2

I was saying “current” as opposed to my ex. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:51 PM
1

Maybe I do ask for it by being friendly and personable?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:50 PM
7

I guess sociopaths enjoy it. I have never enjoyed doing something morally or ethically wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 12:51 AM
2

I did over the summer. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 12:50 AM
4

How could you enjoy something that you had to use deception in order to get? Wouldn’t the guilt and shame make it unenjoyable?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 12:46 AM
3

Insecure men like women with a low self esteem because they’re easier to control. When I started to gain more self-confidence, my ex interpreted that as arrogance. It was exhausting, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 03:32 PM
2

Insecurity is big business, honestly. Humans are marketed to from an early age to feel like they need to buy products to make them complete, but it’s never enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:53 AM
2

I doubt it. My 15 year old son told my boyfriend and one of my best friends that he thinks he has a bad mom last week. They were picking up a sofa for me and the men were talking about their mothers (who genuinely were awful) and my son piped up and said he also had a bad mom. Why? Because I stopped coddling him a couple of years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:49 AM
1

Not really! Do you think that in human history, parents lived alone in a single family home and that the mother was the only person who did all of the domestic work and child rearing alone? lol NOPE! Humans lived in tribes and other people took on a lot of childcare duties. The isolated SAHM alone in her house with her kids is what goes against 99% of human history. Villages have always raised kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:46 AM
1

If you think that you can control who your daughters date, I doubt you have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 07:40 PM
3

Not all men are insecure. My boyfriend is incredibly secure, as is one of my good friends who is a man. I know plenty of perfectly secure men and many insecure women. Being controlling is a sign of insecurity, though. I used to be terribly insecure, but I grew to be secure with age and wisdom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 09:38 AM
1

Mind if I ask how old you are? I didn’t start using moisturizer until I got into my 40’s, and now I absolutely need it. I can go without makeup just fine, but I use day cream and night cream at the very least to keep the worst of the lines away. I have some lines around the eye area, but not too bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 09:32 AM
12

I was a SAHM for 15 years and it was horrible. It was so incredibly boring, isolating, mind numbing, thankless, and got me nothing in the long run. Kids who had working moms that I know are way more self-sufficient and have better work ethics. Maybe I just sucked as a mom, and I think that’s probably absolutely true, because my kids act like they are being abused if they’re made to do any work at all. I did everything for them because I felt like it was my job, and because I wanted the challenge…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 11:30 PM
10

And THIS is why I insist on working and making my own money. Nobody will ever be able to call me a parasite again.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 11:22 PM
5

That makes me sad. I don’t spend hundreds a month on beauty treatments, but I feel like I am 10000% worthy of spending money on skincare, makeup, and hair products. I used to be like you, never spending a dime on myself. I felt like I had no identity anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 11:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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