Why are men like this?

MikeArrow · 2024-05-09T12:49:03+00:00

No idea. That kind of behavior is unthinkable to me.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-05-09T12:47:27+00:00

It's not a "men" thing, it's a "shitty person" thing. And you already know why they do it - they're hoping that you'r as much of an asshole as they are and that you'll ditch your current bf to go be with them instead.

I say it's not a "men" thing because obviously it's not something most men do. And it's not a "men" thing because there are asshole women who do this to men, too.

KayRay1994 · 2024-05-09T13:46:38+00:00

Granted, a minority of men do this - that being said, these men likely see concerts as easy targets. Very loud, easy to blend in, perfect spot to be as persistent as possible.

As for the boyfriend stuff, it has a lot to do with taking men more seriously than women, ie. i can claim ownership over this woman unless another man has already claimed her - that’s how these men see things. That’s also actually why many women lie by saying “i have a boyfriend”, it’s usually the only way to get some men off their backs.

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2024-05-09T15:04:31+00:00

Thats rat behavior not male behavior. Were these men drunk?

gopher_glitz · 2024-05-09T13:15:17+00:00

Some men are shitty. But at the same time it's like men asking, "why don't women ever ask me out on dates"

Men must be the pursuer and some are shit at it.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-05-09T12:49:13+00:00

They're hoping one day that when your husband gets back either...

1.He will storm off leaving you with no means of transport home and at their mercy.

2.He will have finally gotten on your last nerve and you will go home with them to spite him

Basically just putting a little pressure on your marriage in hopes it breaks in their direction.

alebruto · 2024-05-09T13:12:55+00:00

Men don't do that. For every man who did this to you, there were hundreds of others in the room who didn't.

You are at a party with hundreds of men, one of them does this and you mistakenly conclude that men do this, ignoring everyone else who didn't even notice you in the place

And in fact there are some men who do this, and if they continue to do it it must be because sometimes it works.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-05-09T17:07:43+00:00

I don't think this is a gender thing. Women do it too, but in different settings/ ways.

I also don't believe a majority or men or women do it, it's a minority of people who are always looking for their next person, even when in a relationship, so they assume the rest of us are, too.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-09T12:48:05+00:00

I believe the red pill calls it "preselection".

ComfortableJeans · 2024-05-09T13:13:50+00:00

Look, in my experience, if you go to a place where a LOT of people are, you're going to run into a cunt. It's been the vast majority of my experiences with big masses of people. The nice ones will keep to themselves/their group, the cunts will make it other peoples problems.

I stopped going to bars and pubs because of all the bad experiences I had, and half of them were with women. I don't like going to plances where they'll be large amounts of people I don't know, and who don't know the people I know anymore. It's just never worth it.

I'm 6'3 and 100KG. Girls used to come up to me and go "Could you beat *him* up?" and point to some smaller boy, putting me in horrible situations. I've had girls pinch and squeeze my arse cheek with their nails until there was blood in my underware the next day. I've been texting my girlfriend and had girls come up and put their hand over my phone so I couldn't message her anymore. That's not mentioning all the shitty times I'd turned down advances in these places and gotten shit for it. From being loudly accused of being a peadophile to having a group of girls track me down on all my accounts and devices to ask me if I was an F slur for not sleeping with their friend.

That's not counting all the bad experiences I've had with other boys, including having to deal with creeps like the ones you're talking about trying shit with my partners at the time and not fucking off.

Most people are nice and normal, but bad ones are common enough and make it such a big deal for everyone that's I just don't feel like it's worth it anymore.

I've just learnt to avoid people.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-05-09T12:59:19+00:00

My guess is they start the night with the intention to go home with someone and every move they make from that point on is in pursuit of that goal. If there’s a girl he thinks he has a shot with he won’t let her out of his sight.

John_Oakman · 2024-05-09T13:22:44+00:00

Because the males who do respect boundaries are also unlikely to be at those venues, nor be noticeable enough to counteract the negative actions of those real men.

But never mind that (because those males who aren't visible also aren't relevant), the reason that all [relevant] men are like that is because [due to the way modern society is structured] they know that the cost of their actions will be dumped on other males (who aren't even there), which leaves any potential upsides is purely profit (no matter how small it is).

Diamond_Claws · 2024-05-09T12:43:28+00:00

Because with a lot of women it works.

daddysgotanew · 2024-05-09T17:14:07+00:00

Because sometimes it works. I knew a whore who would sleep with just about any man that approached her, even if she was already in a relationship. She’s very attractive too, a solid 8.

wtknight · 2024-05-09T17:31:52+00:00

Men are opportunists. My wife used to be approached quite a bit. I never let it bother me because I know how men are.

gusGus2222_ · 2024-05-09T20:28:28+00:00

Literally never happens to me or any of my friends. Never seen it happen either. Sounds like a you problem. Not a man thing.

Southern_Fall983 · 2024-05-09T21:38:49+00:00

Women are typically more attracted to men that are desired by other women. Think about what could transpire from there/what that actually means

uggo_cel · 2024-05-09T22:42:52+00:00

If "men" are like this, then so is your boyfriend (if he's a man)

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2024-05-10T01:44:01+00:00

I understand the feeling. Every bar I go to I'm approached by womem and even a few gay men. I've even been approached in bookstores and coffee shops. I think women think I'm gay so I'm safe to talk to. (I am bisexual). I guess I must look good looking or something because strange women talk to me a lot it seems. Nothing like harassement or anything. But just general, "how's the weather" conversation. Which I don't mind. I like talking to people. Although I have be groped a few times by women in bars. And I been asked multiple times to either buy a drink for a girl or have a drink bought for me. Not all women are like that, just like not all men are like what you describe. Maybe you should just stop going to concerts. I've told a few women I'm gay before so they'd leave me alone. That doesn't always work though because then they want to talk to you about everything. My last one was a girl who came up to me and said she liked my beard and gave me her number. We went out a few times but it didn't go anywhere. A few months after that I had two girls approach me and ask me to buy them a drink. I told them I was gay so they'd go away. That same night I had two gay guys approach me and buy my drinks for the night. But that is all but past me now. I don't go out to bars at night anymore. I'm old and a day drinker now.

evo1d0er · 2024-05-10T01:58:56+00:00

I was just talking to my friend about similar situation, but reversed genders. He had a girl in a grocery store right in front of his gf telling him he was hot and when he pointed out he was with his gf the strange woman continued anyway. And I was once in a club with my wife and she was dancing a few feet away from me and this girl whispered in my ear she wanted me to fuck her. I said, uh that’s my wife right there, and the girl literally said “I don’t care about her”. So, point being, it’s definitely not just men.

just_a_place · 2024-05-10T04:54:37+00:00

It's not a men thing, it's a concert thing. And even at that, what specific concerts are you going to where such creeps exist? I have never noticed that at any concert I have ever been at, and I always go with groups of women and they never complain about such a thing.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-05-09T12:59:25+00:00

Men want what they can’t have. Also men tend to be competitive so ideally “stealing” another man’s girl is always going to be an ego boost. Some men even take pride in it.

TheDuellist100 · 2024-05-09T12:47:30+00:00

What artists are you listening to? They attract certain crowds.

Familiar_File_2443 · 2024-05-09T13:08:58+00:00

It comes with the vagina, you may have deal with men following you home, constantly hit on in some environments more than others.

But at least you don't have to deal with the loneliness of being a man.

The worst I'd have to deal with is getting a gay guy approach me a second even though I rejected him and fast walked away. Women are never persistent when they approach me.

I hate this happens to you, more women would enjoy going out if it wasn't for socially retarted undesierable men.

And no women would play "I'm gonna ignore your texts now, but I secretly want you to chase me" Game. It's frustrating as fuck, knowing someone really liked me, but because I didn't chase them like the hordes of desperate perverse men we both missed out.

It makes it really hard at telling if a girl likes you or if she wants you to stop bothering her at that particular moment, even if you're really good at reading body language.

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FirmQuarter6623 · 2024-05-09T14:51:50+00:00

Why are men like this?

They wanna fuck.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-05-09T15:04:08+00:00

You sure they know you have a boyfriend? They might just not have seen/believe it. Still a bunch of horny guys.

stormiu · 2024-05-09T15:34:25+00:00

Very important context wise: was this a regular concert or full scale music festival?

nsfw_trapsarentgay · 2024-05-09T15:46:33+00:00

Humblebrag

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-05-09T15:49:49+00:00

I think you mean "why are people like this?" as you didn't ask those people what gender they identify as.

kongeriket · 2024-05-09T15:58:18+00:00

Me and my de facto wife are big concert fans and in the last 15-16 years we've been to 100+ concerts.

Had this happened to me (girl hitting on me while she was somewhere else) and had this happened to her too (guy hitting on her while I was somewhere else). And it happened multiple times because we're confident adults happy in our relationship so we don't stay stuck/glued to each other 24/7.

Oftentimes mistakes happen. Some other time, it's just "low-ball attempt" (he/she has no idea whether we've been together for 16 minutes or 16 years). It's a lot more rare to be actually malicious.

Even women who are clearly in relationships they will hit on us the second our partner is out of sight.

Please do consider the possibility of misinterpretation as well. Both on your part and other people's part.

I know it happened to me at least once. Thought a girl was hitting on me and was annoyed that she wouldn't go away when I told her I'm there with my wife. Turns out she wasn't hitting on me - she recognized me from a local show and wanted a specific piece of advice.

Your ex-husband's behavior was definitely shitty (blaming you for being approached is shitty almost always). But your broader point is a lot more complicated than you make it be.

TL;DR:

Not always about hitting on you
Shitty people come in all shapes and both sexes
Dating is really bad for young guys and trying everything is one strategy
It helps your mental health to be less angry. In fact, it should be a boost of confidence that you're still approached. I know it was for me and for my wife. We laughed about it for several days afterwards.

ppvremsleep · 2024-05-09T16:18:43+00:00

It’s the type of guys that go to events, clubs, parties that are into social hierarchies. Cucking other men is a unique way to feed their ego and to validate their dominance.

I’ve been part of a local party scene and those guys are always trying to get with your girl. Or trying to have sex with the girl before you. It’s annoying, but that’s what some guys are like.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-05-09T17:10:00+00:00

Well, that sounds shitty, sorry it happened to you. Hasn't been my experience with concerts, I've only had one man come up to me and try to hit on me when my boyfriend at the time went to the bathroom, and we were at a club. I have had guys who ignore "I have a boyfriend/husband'' and are still pushy after that but I wouldn't say it's the majority of men I encounter. It's not a "man" thing, it's a "shitty man" thing. You could have more experiences with them if you're a bit on the cuter, smaller side, I have a friend who is a little over 5 feet, very sweet looking, and she deals with obnoxious creeps all the time.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2024-05-10T02:41:42+00:00

I don't get it, is the behavior yelling at you for "being flirty" or coming up and "claiming you"?

The yelling is, well most don't and shouldn't.

The claiming is actually pretty simple, unpopular opinion (even though women have admitted to it being true) for women "no, don't mean no".

In actuality, every time I have gone out to the clubs I can easily fine 3 to 6 guys that get rebuffed by the same women for like 30 minutes only for her to them let in and go with him.

Beyond she didn't know him so rejected him and he just spent time letting her get to know him so now she says yes, To me this make absolutely zero sense. Like I wouldn't be able to understand it to same my life, but it's a thing that happens a hell of a lot.

Slyfer_Seven · 2024-05-09T13:09:34+00:00

If I had to guess, something about your body language/behavior and your boyfriend's checks off the right boxes for those dudes to think there's a chance.

SamuraiGoblin · 2024-05-09T13:28:57+00:00

Predators are as predators do.

VWGUYWV · 2024-05-09T13:41:55+00:00

Drunk assholes

People drink at concerts

Same thing happens at bars

I’ve had little piss ants I could rip the head off hit on GFs right in front of me after some liquid courage

It’s up to you to shut it down so that your husband or BF doesn’t have to get into a physical confrontation unnecessarily

This prevents violence by nipping it in the bud

AreOut · 2024-05-09T12:47:37+00:00

Thank you for the information now we all know you are attractive.

Preme2 · 2024-05-09T13:23:33+00:00

You probably gave them an IOI looking for attention while your partner is away.

Told him that my boyfriend was definitely coming back.

Why are you even making conversation? Just say “eww” and move away. Or “I have a boyfriend”. Women seem to have that down pat for men they aren’t interested in.

Some women like the attention, the risky behavior with plausible deniability. Now they feel bad and want to blame their partner and other men while downplaying their own role. But I’m no psychologist.

That was the first and last time I ever went to a concert with him.

I’m sure it was. You got caught. If he leaves and comes back to find you still engaging in conversation with another guy then it’s likely that you’re flirting. Most women can tell a guy off with just their eyes and body language. If he’s bold enough to still engage then one sentence should him packing. Otherwise, you wanted to flirt with him.

katana236 · 2024-05-09T13:05:22+00:00

This is why couples should never go to such places.

You're asking for trouble. Much better to stay home and watch a movie or something. Than to subject yourself to that trash.

This is just how drunk men behave. They are not there for the music. They are there to get laid.

Edit: SOME drunk men. But you get a big enough gathering and you're bound to run into them

yodol-90 · 2024-05-09T12:41:54+00:00

he is just practicing his game.

obviousredflag · 2024-05-09T13:29:55+00:00

It’s gross!

We do not care about what you think is gross. We think about our own interest. I have been fucking a married women over the last months. She didn't think it's gross that i hit on her while her husband is away. Your personal view of the matter is irrelevant. We do have success with it and that means we will continue to do it.

PossibleVariety7927 · 2024-05-09T13:02:32+00:00

Serial rapists can look at photos of women walking and figure out which were raped, because there is a “type” predators look for. If I had to guess, you have some vibe to you that creeps think they can move on.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-05-09T13:11:14+00:00

Some people are shitty, then again many times it’s seen as a “shit test” as in the woman wants to see if you are actually interested in getting to know her. Many women dig the entire scenario that “he wants to claim me.” Thus it’s a way higher percentage that you get a phone number and potentially going dates or do other things at a later time.

It’s not my thing, but to each their own.

UnhappyInevitable680 · 2024-05-09T14:38:40+00:00

Because everyone is single that’s why. Women respond to confidence so sometimes men will be overconfident to attract you (arrogant)

superlurkage · 2024-05-09T14:44:21+00:00

Testosterone and societal permission

Title	Why are men like this?
Author	HappyCat79
Upvotes	0
Comments	108
Date	May 9, 2024 12:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cnw7nd/why_are_men_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-men-like-this.1517973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517973

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