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HardRockB Archive

View 5 posts and 63 comments by HardRockB on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Hi there! I'm trying to work on being more optimistic when I screw up, I tend to be very all or nothing. I also agree about cutting down vs cutting out. I have been focusing entirely on myself for the last month and a half. I even quit using social media for a month. While it works for about a month, any longer than that causes me to isolate myself and overthink things. I think it works short-term, but like most things it's a balance :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 07:10 PM
1

Thanks for the advice. I'm realizing that I might be so hard on myself because I have friends that are more successful than I am in different ways, like fitness, career, social life, etc. While I shouldn't compare myself to others I draw inspiration from them. I do feel like I'm playing catch up. The changes are happening but I guess I need to be more patient. Social media is a tool for me because I use it for my side hustle/hobby. I have also met a lot of friends online that I see a couple time…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 07:05 PM
1

I'll work on being kinder to myself. I'm already very ambitious but I tend to treat myself like a slave. I am lucky because I have surrounded myself with a lot of incredible people who already do these habits and I want to catch up. My friends are compassionate but I know I need to motivate myself.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 06:56 PM
2

Perhaps it is. I can loosen up, but usually I overdo it and have a hard time getting back on track with my goals. Any tips for loosening up just a little? Social media is good for me because I can keep in touch with friends from out of state that I've met online through my hobby. We meet a couple times a year so leaving social media completely would be tough. Having a social media presence is also beneficial to my hobby. I'm considering compromising and deleting social media from my phone and on…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 12:54 PM
1

I'm working on trying to be more flexible and forgiving myself when I make mistakes. It's difficult because I am my own worst critic. I set my expectations unrealistically high, setting myself up for failure. I am trying to set the goal posts a little lower.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 12:04 AM
2

How does that work for women? If women are supposed to keep their ncount low, how are they supposed to have mind-blowing sex? I'm assuming men think the same way you do, yet they don't want a woman who sleeps around. I guess it would work differently for men because they are expected to be more experienced.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/18 07:29 PM
7

That's the impression I got too. Maybe I'm a bit judgemental, but I cringed when he offered to let you pay for the whole thing. Splitting might be okay. Him dressing casual wasn't great either. You want someone who wants to impress you! He's probably a nice guy, but you can do better.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/18 07:23 PM
2

She's wonderful! Her videos are relaxing and her voice is so soothing. I enjoy her DIY spa and GRWM videos. Her makeup routine is much more natural than most beauty gurus.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 12:36 AM
1

Hey, thanks for the video! I haven't finished it yet but I'm enjoying it so far. It's true that there will always be someone better than us. Accepting myself as I am while continuing to improve myself is a great idea, I'm just not sure how to execute it. The thing that was been helping the most is taking baby steps towards improving myself - getting chemical peels to improve acne/scarring, getting a consultation for Invisalign, starting to eat healthier - while forgiving myself if I screw up (ea…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 12:16 AM
6

I would highly recommend looking up Aly Art's YouTube videos on Kibbe types! I identify as a flamboyant natural; a lot of models are this type too. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a great example imo :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 01:39 AM
7

I would watch Aly Art's Kibbe videos on YouTube. She uses the Kibbe body type system to help you figure out what kind of clothes/hairstyles look best on you. You sound like a Natural or Flamboyant Natural. I'm the same height and similar build. Naturals tend to dress more casual and loose, think like Jennifer Aniston's style. What looks good on Kim Kardashian won't look as good on our body type. Here's the test and some signature looks for each body type: https://youtu.be/rLIuYHLzZpM https://you…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 01:36 AM
2

It's interesting that you say I could be asexual. I disagree since I do feel attraction to men and I enjoy being in relationships. But it makes me question if I have a fear of intimacy, physically and emotionally. I was raised to believe that I had to take care of myself, I couldn't rely on anyone else (except for my narcissistic parents). It has caused some trust and abandonment issues. So while yes, I am happy, there are likely some emotional issues I still need to work through. I think I woul…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 11:03 PM
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Thank you! And it is like meditation. So relaxing. :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 03:40 AM
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This actually really tough because while enjoy these things, some of them are things I "should" do to keep up my appearance, like facials and mani/pedis. Massages - I need therapeutic massages once a month due to my job. It's very relaxing. Facials/peels - I'm currently getting zinc and peptide peels every two weeks to work on my acne. It's not really the most fun experience tbh, BUT it feels good knowing I'm doing something to take care of myself. Mani/pedis - I get gel mani/pedis every three w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 01:35 AM
1

Thank you so much, that's so kind of you to say. It certainly taught me a lot about setting boundaries and teaching people how I want to be treated.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 01:05 AM
4

I think that's a fantastic idea. I have never taken the time to write down what I want in a potential husband. It's easy to think of what I don't want, but not what I do want. It would be nice to be in a long-term relationship. I still have some things that I want to work on physically and mentally but eventually I would like to have the confidence to get into dating again.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/18 11:37 PM
5

RPW has definitely been a great resource to improve myself. Two years ago, I went no contact with my toxic family. I know will be judged by a lot of people for not having a close family, but it was necessary in improving my confidence and my life overall. Initially I fell into the victim mentality, but this sub helped me realize I am in control of my life. The way I was raised may have affected me but I am in charge of fixing that. The first year was difficult but I am slowly getting better :) A…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/18 09:39 PM
3

This was so eye-opening to read. I'm curious to see how it would be flipped for a Man Plus, as far as how a woman would act. It also made me happy reading how happy, feminine women treat themselves. For the longest time I felt guilty for wanting to get facials and massages but I realized it's self care. I'm doing something to improve my confidence, which will flow into other areas of life.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/18 09:05 PM
2

Your mother is trying to live vicariously through you. She might be in an unhappy marriage and she wishes she had dated more men, traveled, etc before settling down. My mother did something similar, pushing her beliefs on me to justify her life decisions. Like others have said, stop talking about your future with her. You won't change her mind and she doesn't seem to care about what YOU want. Sometimes family will not accept your decisions. Do them anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/18 01:57 PM
1

As I was reading your story I wondered if you had an emotionally abusive mother and it turns out I was right. I did too. I went no contact with my family two years ago. While my life has drastically improved (thanks RBN) I'm still working through some issues, specifically perfectionism. No matter matter how much I try to improve I'm never really happy. My mind has a constant inner monologue thinking people are judging me. It doesn't help being a quiet introvert, so I always feel like I am awkwar…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/18 05:35 PM
1

Thank you! I'm happy to hear you had positive results, it makes me more excited to get started :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 10:12 PM
3

My mostly concerned about using gym equipment. I've never used anything other than cardio equipment and dumbbells so it's a bit intimidating. Guess that's something I have to get over though. I'll likely add in light cardio (walks and yoga) in between just to get some sunlight and fresh air. I wasn't really interested in fitness until I learned the it helps my mental health as well as physical :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 09:01 PM
2

That's awesome, I'm glad the program worked for you! What you described is what I'm looking for. Basically to look my best and improve my energy. Being naturally thin is ok but I want to add some shape and be healthier all around. My fast metabolism won't last forever.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 08:48 PM
5

If there's anything I've learned from this subreddit it's to not take things too personally. No harm done. I was reading some community posts on MyFitnessPal and they suggested Stronglifts before a program like StrongCurves as well. Thanks for the feedback!
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 08:12 PM
2

Thanks for the input! What's the benefit of doing both? Is it so you have a good balance of training for strength and shape?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 07:55 PM
2

I just looking through r/fitness and some of the fitness posts here on RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 07:51 PM
2

I do agree with another commenter that less reps (4-6) would be better. Some of the moves seem to have high reps. But I can always tailor it and just use heavier weight.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 07:38 PM
9

Never said I was afraid of lifting heavy, I even said I know my main focus is lifting heavy. Nor did I say anything about getting "toned." I'll look into the program you linked though. Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 07:11 PM
4

I normally wouldn't but it was strongly suggested and it was only $10. It includes all four programs and all of the moves. There's PDFs online but I just wanted everything in one place so it was easier to reference since I don't know what I'm doing yet lol
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 06:59 PM
3

No you're totally right. I've gotten very comfortable with hanging out at home after work. I think it's time to make a bucket list of new things to try and cross them off my list, not so much to meet men but to have fun. I believe if I'm having fun in life the right men are more likely to come into my life.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/17 04:37 PM
1

No no, it totally makes sense! That's what I did with two of my previous partners, just waited two months instead of six. Maybe I need to wait longer. One of the relationships lasted for a year and a half but I had to end it because he didn't have his life together (I was too young to understand vetting yet). I try not to be super picky but I think part of it is I live in a small kind of redneck town. There just aren't many men I'm attracted to here. I think if I moved closer to the city I would…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/17 04:33 PM
1

I think I have a lot to offer. I have my life together. I have a great job, live in a nice apartment, and have a college education. I am attractive, keep up with my appearance, eat healthy/exercise, etc. I enjoy cooking, keep my home clean and cozy, don't drink often, don't curse, hardly use social media, and don't go out partying. I'm a kind and generous person who is very loyal my loved ones and I would do anything for them.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/17 04:25 PM
1

Put a cap on your sexual partners. You are at three. I'm 27. This sub acts like three partners makes you a slut. Trust me, I'm not riding the cock carousel. Unfortunately I'm not religious but I could see how that would greatly help women who are. As for outdoor activities there's not that much to do around here. I live in a small town so I'd have to travel to do those things. I go to the gym already and there is a crossfit near me. Crossfit seems very intimidating but I'll check it out.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 11:27 PM
1

You bring up a lot of great points. I have been looking into painting and photography classes. I'm also considering going back to school to learn graphic and web design. I already take yoga classes but it's all women haha! Might look into boxing. Waiting six months will certainly weed out a lot of people, which is great. I want someone who is looking for a serious relationship. However, I find that I'm not attracted to that many people. I have "oneitis" as it's called here. I'm picky about who I…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 11:21 PM
4

You're totally right. I do make an effort to look my best no matter what. I'm just hoping this will serve as motivation to gain more muscle :D
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/17 11:39 PM
1

That said, if it wasn't an overt agreement and it was more of a passive statement that he's not currently with anyone else or looking, you need to remember that he hasn't agreed to stop looking. That exactly the issue. While we have both said we aren't seeing anyone else, there's no agreement that we won't see anyone else in the future. He also said he worries about holding me back from meeting someone who lives closer to me. The rest of this is definitely a bitter pill to swallow. I can see whe…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/17 07:45 PM
2

Hahahaha, I love this. Point taken :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/17 06:40 PM
1

That sounds like a good plan. I'm definitely open to trying it. However, I work in the hospitality industry and very few people are given time off over the holidays. Not impossible, but it's a very small chance. That's why I don't want to give him false hope just in case I can't make it. Still open to trying it though, I'd love to meet his family.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/17 06:27 PM
1

I totally agree with you. Spending time with their family is important. It's a little tricky for us since not only are we long distance, none of his family lives near him. I don't speak to anyone in my family (narcissistic abuse). He doesn't speak to his father (but is close with his mother and stepdad) so he understands my situation. On top of that, he has asked what my plans are for the holidays, saying maybe I could meet his family. Problem is my job requires me to work holidays and it's diff…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/17 05:48 PM
1

Thank you, that makes me feel better :) We haven't told many people yet simply because it's still early and LDRs don't always work out. We're not bf/gf yet but as long as we're exclusive that's all I care about for now. I guess my only fear is that while he has said he isn't seeing anyone else, perhaps the reason he doesn't want a relationship is he might change his mind. He hasn't done anything to indicate that, that's just my hamster talking. He is extremely fit, attractive, successful, and ha…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/17 05:38 PM
3

Try listening to ASMR channels. You don't have to speak as quietly, but they have a soothing tone to their voices.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/17 02:08 PM
1

Congrats on losing the baby weight! I think treating yourself to a spa day is in order. A massage to help sore muscles, a mani/pedi, a facial...anything that helps you relax.
/r/RedPillWives01/08/17 04:35 PM
1

Hi RPW ladies! Been lurking in this subreddit for about six months and it has been very helpful! I recently started dating an amazing guy long distance and I needed to clarify something. Obviously RPW says to wait to have sex until exclusivity. Does exclusive mean being in an official relationship or does it simply mean neither of you are seeing other people? Edit: Just realized I posted on the Friday thread :/ whoops!
/r/RedPillWives01/08/17 04:33 PM
1

Your wedding sounds wonderful! While I think it's great to have a big wedding (if you can afford it), there are many things I'd rather spend my money on. Even with a wedding planner I worry a big wedding would be too much for me to handle. Travel is really important to me so any money saved would go towards the honeymoon. Good on you for using your money responsibly:)
/r/RedPillWives08/07/17 08:19 PM
2

That's exactly how he felt. He accused her of cheating a lot (she wasn't) when in fact he was doing it the whole time.
/r/RedPillWives19/01/17 09:21 PM
2

Yup! Luckily my friend finally broke up with him after he cheated on her. She's much more careful now.
/r/RedPillWives18/01/17 11:55 PM
1

Turn ons: Call me superficial, but I love tall guys. I'm 5'8", almost 6' in heels! I feel more protected and feminine when I'm dating someone taller than me. Big brown eyes. I love when guys have big puppy dog eyes, it's so adorable. I love other eye colors too, but brown eyes seem more comforting to me. Deep voice. I know a guy who's a voice actor and his voice is just...swoon. Bonus points if he can sing or play instruments! Men who enjoy cooking, especially Italian food. BEARDS. Nothing too l…
/r/RedPillWives18/01/17 05:36 PM
2

It is great advice for parenting! I think it's a great rule to tell your kids you can tell them anything. The important part is once your child tells you something, you don't use it against them! If your child trusts you enough to confide in you, don't betray their trust by bitching at them about it later. I could write a novel about that!
/r/RedPillWives16/12/16 05:52 PM
1

I really liked this article, especially the part about privacy. It resonated with me because my mother never gave me any privacy. It taught me to respect others' privacy and boundaries. I have a friend who insisted on going through her now ex's phone and emails. Her ex was even more manipulative, insisting that my friend download an app that tracked her location at all times. Naturally this caused a lot of problems. They accused each other of cheating many times. Turns out her ex was cheating. H…
/r/RedPillWives16/12/16 05:47 PM
1

It's meant for genuine participation. However, many of my professors have expressed that participation was a "freebie" for showing up to class instead of taking an online class. Basically, if you showed up, didn't fall asleep, or leave halfway through class you go the 20%. Some of my classes didn't even engage in a conversation. We watched a PowerPoint that was directly copied from the book (no actual commentary from the professor, he just read the text on the slides). Discussion wasn't encourag…
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 09:29 PM
4

I think it's totally fine if your SO has beauty preferences or doesn't want you to out to clubs/parties without him. But YOU have to be okay with that. Accept that these are his preferences. I have had too many friends who aren't happy with this and complain constantly about how poorly their SO treats them. Either learn to accept your SO for who he is or dump him and find someone more compatible!
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 08:45 PM
3

"I think it's a similar (although less deadly haha) situation to what we see in the fashion/modeling world. Everyone wants fat people to be 'included' - promote 'normal' (cough morbidly obese) women into high fashion, media, and clothing brands." While I believe some models are too thin and project an unhealthy image, the answer is NOT to include plus size models. That's a huge overcorrection. The fashion industry has been receiving backlash for unhealthy models so they added more unhealthy mode…
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 08:29 PM
2

Here's a crackling fire video. The Honest Guys have a ton of relaxing nature sound videos and guided meditations https://youtu.be/kIB4wqSIdMg
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 01:08 AM
1

I'm happy to see someone from RBN, sister. When I found it everything clicked for me. Went NC two months ago and haven't looked back. I'm happy they could help you too <3
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 01:01 AM
2

I think some people look forward to spending an hour each week bitching about their mom, dad, boyfriend, sister, dog, etc. That certainly wouldn't be the purpose of therapy for me. Like you said, that doesn't fix the root issue. To clarify, I am hoping that therapy can help me work my self esteem, my negativity, my intimacy issues...things of that nature. I don't expect my therapist to be a miracle worker and I may have to do some research on my own, but simply getting an outsider's perspective …
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 12:59 AM
2

While RBN helped me greatly, I understand where you're coming from when you say to avoid it. I used it as a support system to help me go no contact with my family (not an easy choice or process). I still wish my family the best, but I am healthier and happier without them. I had to do what's best for me. They also helped me realize my self worth and taught me how to set boundaries, which will be helpful in this sub. However I don't plan on using RBN to badmouth my family or continue to victimize…
/r/RedPillWives15/12/16 12:53 AM
2

Thank you for such a detailed response! Not overwhelmed at all (well maybe a bit, haha!), I'm excited to read it all! Even when I was little I would buy self help books for myself so this is all up my alley :)
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 04:39 PM
1

Gotcha. I'll work on myself now and then come back to guys for more questions about the dating part. Outcome independence is when you let go of your attachment to a particular outcome. That's a very important thing to learn. I'm considering leaving RBN only because I'm a bit stuck in the victim mentality. Not badly, but it will help me move on from my parents. Going to therapy will hope help me accept what happened and give me the tools to move on a bit quicker. I'm a bit of a control freak so i…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 04:36 PM
1

Hi, thanks for your reply! Yes, RBN helped me SO much when it came to closing an old chapter. Now I'm here to begin a new chapter. Self awareness is the first step so at least I have that. It took several years to develop my unhealthy habits so I know it's going to take time to change my thoughts and behaviors. Even if you are a 7 (or a 10 for that matter) if you have a shitty attitude you are going to have a bad time. It's funny you say that! I can't tell you how many people, men and women, hav…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 04:17 PM
3

I just started going a few weeks ago. That's one of the steps I'm taking to improve myself. Just have to work on going consistently. It certainly helps improve my mood!
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 04:06 PM
1

Thank you, I definitely have some work to do! I already read some of the posts you linked and monk mode sounds like a good idea for me. You have a history of picking men for the wrong reasons, so learning to recognize good men that you'll be able to have a functional relationship with will take time. You hit the nail on the head right there! I'm so afraid of picking the wrong person that I have been avoiding dating altogether. I will say that it's unlikely you are a 7 if you have skin issues and…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 03:43 PM
3

Thank you, I will look into it!
/r/RedPillWives14/12/16 03:23 PM
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I went to the GYPO website...uh oh, this is amazing! One of my issues is putting outfits together so this would be super helpful! I think I'm going to sign up for the winter challenge if I meet my fitness goals. Thanks for sharing!
/r/RedPillWomen
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