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Head-Language-2977 Archive

View 15 posts and 617 comments by Head-Language-2977 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
140

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 05:11 PM
39

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:55 PM
26

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 12:47 AM
25

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 07:05 PM
24

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 03:43 PM
13

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:58 AM
11

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 07:09 PM
6

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 07:54 PM
5

Question For WomenHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 09:52 PM
4

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 09:01 PM
3

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 06:29 AM
1

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 02:49 AM
1

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/21 06:14 PM
1

DebateHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 02:38 AM
1

DiscussionHead-Language-2977/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Because just like today, most men didn’t have options. Most grandpa’s effectively married the first and only woman who would have said yes to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:18 AM
-1

(45M) I don’t personally know men who can get away with not paying for dates, but I personally have gone on dates with several decent looking women in their 40s (legitimate 5s and 6s) who thanked me for the dinner date and mentioned they’ve been on Tinder and/or Bumble years and mentioned I was the first dinner date they had off of the app. I immediately felt like a giant sucker and a foodie call victim. Needless to say, I never got a second date with any of these women. These women were probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 02:20 AM
2

It sounds like a dating event could be a good learning experience for men. With apps, you’re never quite sure if you’re struggling because your pictures suck or your bio sucks. Those two possibilities are eliminated at a live event. If you get ignored at a live event, you should then know your looks are the problem and then you can work on your looks instead of wasting time with professional photographers or hours crafting better bios.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:50 PM
1

Did both men and women have to pay? The plus side to paid events is you’re more likely to interact with people who are taking the event seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:30 PM
12

I agree with you, middle school was only when the “hot” kids began to shine. On the other hand, I’d agree with the statement that most men’s sexual destiny was decided by 18. I think there’s way too much talk of glow ups online giving lots of men false hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 05:46 PM
8

💯 man’s face >>> man’s body. I think hot women with butter-face men are pretty rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:41 AM
8

In 2025, the “man who attends therapy and opens up about his growth journey” is the new “women love a man with a sense of humor”.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:10 PM
5

(43M) Can confirm. It seems all the average and better looking women in my area (PNW) are serious about opting-out of dating and not settling for average or below looking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 12:46 AM
2

Agreed. It seems people tend to marry younger in small town America. If you’re a man and are a late bloomer, your choices will very likely be limited to single moms (never married) or divorced women who were previously SAHMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 02:00 AM
2

😂 Right. Normally the “hookup” transitions into the what’s our status kinds of conversations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:54 AM
7

Your last paragraph resonates heavily with me. After my divorce, I started going out to “older crowd” clubs, and it was fun, but depressing at the same time how little changed between my early 20s and early 40s. Different atmospheres attract different types of women, and the types of women that like the bars will still prefer to stick to their small group and not interact with the crowd until the hawt guy walks in. An average man can chat all night with a lot of women if he has a good personalit…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 03:30 PM
4

💯 Upvotes. It’s not enough to be good looking and be extroverted. I notice guys who pull a lot also tend to be very good at reading women as well. Most women will ogle Chad and would probably dump their average boyfriend in a heartbeat for a relationship with Chad, but at the same time are not down with casual sex. Most women aren’t down with casual sex. Successful men I’ve seen have the social skills to figure out pretty quickly if a woman is DTF or not, and will not waste his time with her if …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 03:25 PM
4

No. I think he’s saying when your spouse says no to an open marriage, you could always say fuck it and cheat because that would be a lot cheaper than a divorce. The one and important important difference is the lack of consent from the spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 03:54 PM
2

I definitely agree about the overhype. I live in a large ultra liberal city in the PNW (which should narrow it down a lot), and the overwhelming majority of people are still in are still in old school monogamous relationships. The thing is the people in the counter culture crowd are very loud about an inclusive society and get a very disproportionate amount of attention in pop culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:25 AM
2

I agree with you. Women are not idiots, they know exactly what they want sexually and what gets them off. I assume most women simply don’t feel comfortable telling the explicit details to men they’re not attracted to, probably to not give them false hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 07:55 PM
11

I think you’re right. Spend some time on the Tinder or Bumble subs, and although most men complain about getting zero matches, many who do get matches complain about other problems. The men who do get matches frequently mention conversations that go well but then dry up when they try to pursue a date, or dates that go well only for the women say “no spark, but thanks for dinner”. In other words, the validation received from chatting and the dinner dates are mainly for their entertainment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 07:37 PM
19

Just because a woman rejects you doesn’t mean the approach was inappropriate. No matter how attractive a man is, he’ll be rejected more than he’ll get phone numbers. I believe the only time women are heavy handed with their rejection is when the man is far below their league. If a man is realistic with his market value, and knows how to take a hint if she’s not interested, he should have nothing to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 01:08 AM
2

The problem with that line of thinking is most women have career ambitions now. Earning good money doesn’t mean the same thing it did for our dad’s generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 01:59 AM
2

They get upset about it because those are the relationships on the fast track to the dreaded dead bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 05:56 AM
1

Agree 💯 Women think they’re pretty because of two flawed interpretations of reality. First, they think they’re pretty because men hit on them and they discount how thirsty 99% of men are. Second, I’ll call lipstick on the pig fallacy. Keeping in mind 70% of adult Americans are overweight (40% are outright obese) women think if they spend 2 hours getting ready for a night out, they magically turn into Cinderella. The makeup may fool other women, but they don’t realize that men can still see the p…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 05:50 AM
4

(43M, 5/10) I totally agree with you. Just this week, I was doing squats at the gym, and there was another guy in his 40s doing pull ups next to me. A cute and in shape 40 year old woman (6 or 7/10) walks across several machines and past several other men to tell him she loves his shirt and red is a great color for him. It took all of my discipline to not look and stare. He thanked her, they introduced themselves, and then she went back to her workout. Clearly, she took the effort to enter his o…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 06:29 AM
–

I don’t think Tinder is a fair representation of older women. Would it be fair to say the Tinder crowd skews heavily towards the party crowd? In other words, those who play hard and are by far the first to show the effects of heavy drinking, smoking, and reckless eating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:22 PM
–

You’re comment is 💯 reality. Women have natural advantages in dating, but instead they try to credit their own skill and hard work. It’s discouraging to see how many men on this sub truly believe women are out to gaslight them and fuck them over. Instead, I think women mean well but are like the trust fund babies who are delusional about the advantages they were literally born with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:38 AM
1

(43M) This is what I observe IRL as well. As I get older I see many more attractive women (35+) at the beach in the summer, skiing in the winter, or even hiking by themselves. In town, I’m seeing more dinner dates on Friday and Saturday nights between clearly platonic female friends, and again, no man at the table. Lots of these women are attractive enough that it surprises me so many of them are out without a man. It does seem like the stock price for average looking men continues to plummet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 02:23 AM
1

That makes sense. Think about how many people don’t want kids. Think about the few who still want kids; it’s mainly religious people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 03:22 AM
3

I agree with you. Most grandmother aged women I know can’t understand why so many couples are delaying kids for so long. Their generation had a different definition for a successful family and to me they seem to have no regrets. If anything, they pity us.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 12:48 AM
1

I hear you, and I think it strongly depends on the circumstances she lost the weight. For example, if a woman lost a bunch of weight as soon as she got divorced (revenge body), she’ll probably gain it all back once she’s in a committed relationship again.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 07:25 AM
–

(43M) I purposely skipped your description so I can give an unbiased opinion to your question. Dating gets slightly better for men, but it’s still not very good. If a man wasn’t attractive to women in his 20s, he’ll still be unattractive in his 30s. The reason dating gets easier for him is definitely NOT because he’s getting more attractive. The reality is he’ll begin to attract women who are deciding looks matter less to them as they get older. So a man may have more options, but lust and passi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:44 PM
4

I like the way you phrase it. Too many men on this sub assume the worst; that women are actively scheming how to fuck over a beta. I tend to believe women have rules, but are capable of “thinking with their dicks”, just like men, if some guy out of their league gives them any opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 06:14 AM
5

(42M) As most PPD users define the wall, it definitely seems to exist. I read a lot of 40+ women on Reddit complain about the impact of the wall on other subs without calling what they’re experiencing that specific term. My problem with the wall as PPD defines it is it’s very misleading. When I hear the wall, I think of something dramatic and far reaching. Instead, women 40+ only lose access to the top 10 percent of men in the 40-49 age group as those men can secure women in their 30s. To me, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:41 AM
4

It’s not the wrinkles that makes them less attractive. It’s gaining 50% of their body weight after turning 30 that makes them less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 06:22 AM
2

Especially blow jobs. I’ve been surprised how many women were cool with starting with the blow job and then bringing up the condom for the PIV action.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 11:47 PM
3

I believe there’s an alternative for those without big social circles… get some hobbies out of the house. I don’t think it’s a lack of friends that dooms introverts, I think it’s being boring that dooms introverts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 03:59 PM
1

🛎🛎 🛎 Quality over quantity. A lot of men think if they bang five 2s, that makes them a 10 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 01:21 AM
2

I’m very glad you brought them up. I think we’d all agree conventionally attractive people have different dating experiences than below-average looking people. This couple is relevant to this sub, not because of money or fame, but because they are a legitimate example of what romance is like after 30 for above-average looking people. I believe the less attractive people are, the younger their plan A “romantic phase” ends and the sooner their plan B “dating for practicality begins”. In other word…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 06:37 PM
2

I disagree in the sense that only those people would jump on those opportunities; that’s why there’s so much adultery. Sure, lots of people with one foot out the door would actively look for opportunities to cheat. But in addition to them, I also think people who settled would also jump on opportunity to cheat with a better looking person if that opportunity came knocking on the door and they thought they could get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:16 AM
7

Several years old, but I’ve read in the past that 70% of OLD users never go on a single date. In my mind, I think a bunch of women are only using them for validation or searching for that Chad needle in a haystack.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 12:18 AM
3

I always assume the apps are showing men a lot of dead profiles of women to give the illusion of lots of women being active on their app (especially Tinder).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 12:14 AM
2

The problem with studies and with anecdotal evidence is the sexuality of women seems to have much more variability than the sexuality of men. All men crave sex so no matter what group of men you study, you’re only going to see two results, men who try and succeed and men who try and fail. Men are literally that straightforward. Women on the other hand are much more complicated. Depending on the group of women you observe I believe you can get wildly varying results. One group of women can be pru…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:56 PM
4

Exactly, I think the concept of hereditary fat genes is way overblown. It’s sedentary lifestyles that are a learned habit that families pass down from one generation to the next.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:08 PM
1

I’d like to add LTRs to this topic. I agree that most men are not attracted to overweight women at first. However, most people in America slowly gain weight due to sedentary lifestyles. In this case, I do think men can remain physically attracted to their overweight partners as long as the weight gain is gradual over the years and not all at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:04 PM
–

(42M) I know way too many men older than me who married the only girlfriend they ever had so I strongly suspect options for men were very limited in the past as well. The major difference being back then women settled for a beta in their mid-twenties after only a few years of chasing Chads versus in their late-thirties now after almost twenty years of chasing Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 05:43 AM
2

Well said. To use a baseball analogy, looks determines the league you can play in, then character determines your batting average within your league.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 05:36 AM
13

I believe there’s two different conditions, porn addiction and porn sick. I think porn addiction gets thrown around too loosely but I do think tons of men are porn sick. When I say porn sick, I mean these men have a very skewed opinion of what a normal woman should look like, to the point where they can’t perform sexually unless the woman looks like a playboy model. I imagine most of these men can stop at anytime, but don’t because they are the unfortunate majority of men who have significant dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 02:07 AM
23

Winner, winner. Women have always been picky. The difference today is most women can financially support themselves. At the same time, I honestly do not believe women in 2023 are picky because of what our ancestors lived through in prehistoric times, or fear of sexual assault (legit points, but not dealbreakers). I truly think women’s lower libido is the main reason they can sit on the sidelines comfortably and wait for Chad to call, that’s the true reason why most women are so picky today.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 10:36 PM
3

It differs depending on if you ask a man or a woman. Men will tell you a HVM is what this sub calls a Chad, one of the small percentage of men that women find sexually attractive. Women will tell you a HVM is what this sub calls a beta. The man who will welcome her and all her baggage [not necessarily referring to kids] into his life regardless of how little she brings to the table or how quickly she lets herself go after they get married. The man who loves her for her and will forever be in den…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 12:40 AM
4

I agree with your observation, except men are to blame, not women. Women have little to no incentive to raise their game if men continue to be willing to hump any woman with a pulse
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 02:59 AM
17

I agree. Because hawt men routinely get positive feedback from women, they are calibrated to correctly read social cues from women. They recognize the difference between interest and platonic friendliness, and know how far they can push the envelope based on a woman’s reactions to them. One thing I’ve noticed about fuck boys is they are good at knowing when it’s a lost cause and not waste weeks or months on a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:00 PM
6

(42M) 💯 correct. Healthy weight women in their 40s still have their pick of the litter with either high value men in their 40s and/ or fun with younger men in their 30s. For younger men still counting on the wall to balance the scales, I’d argue that women still have the upper hand in dating at least until our mid-forties.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:11 AM
–

That sounds realistic; that the hottest 20% of men are hooking up with the 20% of women who are down with regular casual sex, while the other 80% of women might have only a few casual “encounters” ever and then decided that lifestyle was not for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:21 AM
–

You deserve 💯 upvotes. I don’t shame single moms for being practical. I do judge them when I hear them spitting “real men” nonsense to talk up their men, or even worse, when these “real men” gobble up the “praise” and clearly believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 06:35 AM
4

Men should consider this analogous scenario. Let’s say you were friends with a woman for three months and develop a crush on her. You shoot your shot and she rejects you. If other platonic female friends try to tell you you were not totally rejected and are still a winner because she chose you to benefit from her friendship for three months, how would you react to that kind of mental gymnastics?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 06:00 PM
2

Only in old school Hollywood movies.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:45 AM
3

100% agree. Perhaps it’s only a recent trend, but for the most part, I see the most attractive women with lean (athletic) men, not jacked men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:10 AM
2

I usually give women the benefit of the doubt and assume this like you said, that I was borderline before the date and they had no plans for that night.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:43 AM
–

To be fair to women this does make sense. At least 95% of them have the ability to be uncommitted AND sexually active at the same time, so relationship status and sex status are separate for them. This doesn’t intuitively make sense to men because 95% of us will never have that option. A better (but not reasonable) question for women would be if they would be happier sexless long-term or in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:25 AM
4

There’s one huge circumstance why people would divorce after 20 years that doesn’t exist otherwise… children and their childhood development/ stability. I don’t think it’s coincidence that he’s getting divorced soon after their youngest child turned 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:57 AM
4

Or access to drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 06:43 AM
1

Intuitively it makes sense. The more attractive a woman is, the more likely an above-average looking man would want to lock her down quickly knowing she has options too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 03:45 AM
2

I think two common causes of resentment are the effort is not matched (one works hard while the other is lazy) or the looks maintenance is not matched (one is active and dresses nice while the other is happy looking frumpy).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:44 AM
1

Exactly. Letting yourself go and then deciding to be sexy one weekend is putting lipstick on the pig. This applies equally to both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:41 AM
11

That’s a fair assumption. That’s why early impressions are legitimate. I don’t think many people are super ambitious at work or school, and then lazy at home, or vice-versa. Usually, lazy people are lazy across the board and go-getters are hard-working across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 12:39 AM
2

It’s the classic quality over quantity argument. Men who think they peak after 30 must believe all attention is created equal, and willfully ignore the reality that all of the attention is coming from below-average looking women or women looking for a beta provider.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 05:22 PM
2

He’s simply repeating the popular opinion of this sub. A lot of men do say stuff like, I’m getting more attention, therefore, I must be getting more attractive, without any regard for where that attention is coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:07 PM
2

Well said. Perhaps money was sexy 100 years ago when women couldn’t financially support themselves, but now that most women work and can support themselves, I feel the money is not a factor anymore unless a man is in the top or bottom extremes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:43 PM
6

I always felt that fame and fortune didn’t change those men, it revealed their true nature. I don’t believe the other 99.9% of men are morally superior, they simply never have the opportunity for that choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:20 PM
–

Very strong double disagree. Women crave companionship far more than men. The difference is women can satisfy this desire for companionship with their female friends and orbiters. Men crave sex but cannot meet this need with their male buddies, hence men largely pursue women for access to sex, not for even more companionship. Thought experiment: have you ever heard of a scenario where a platonic male friend hit on his female friend, and when she didn’t reciprocate, he did the slow fade or worse?…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:00 PM
–

Older women (35+) don’t have to lower their standards because they still have lots of options. Even if most men don’t meet their standards, these women still get the benefits of validation knowing that so many men are still interested in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 02:54 PM
9

(42M) I agree with and observe everything you’ve said on your chain. A woman who is not overweight in her 40s is still drowning in options. I suspect the average men who have all of this success with Cougars are probably targeting very below-average looking women in their 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:01 PM
2

(42M) Absolute truth. Men on PPD need to reread the above comment and accept the unfortunate reality that the Wall is largely a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:57 AM
2

IMO, what’s important is not how many men did she have sex with before you, it’s what types of men did she have sec with before you. If she had sex with 30 different men in her 20’s but they were all similar in looks and personality to you, I’d argue she’s not settling for you. If she dated even only a handful of men, but they were total opposites, I’d be worried as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:36 AM
3

Well said. You deserve 200 ⬆️.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 02:58 AM
1

I think Chads situation would be similar to Stacy reaching middle age. He may be bummed and frustrated at first, but eventually he’ll adjust to his fate and learn to prioritize other things in life because he already had some taste of the great life in his youth (as opposed to the majority of men who will never get to live a day in Chads shoes).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:38 PM
2

The complaint is after a woman marries the “husband material” man, her sex drive is highly likely to plummet. In other words, women settle for the safe option when sex becomes lower priority in her life (usually after 30).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:32 AM
4

I agree with you. It sounds great in theory, but IRL, these men are usually pure betas in denial.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:25 PM
3

I agree but I’d like to generalize your comment. A wife’s effort must match her husband’s, and vice versa. A career woman contributes with her own income, but SAHM’s should realize once her kids are school age, what’s her contribution? If it’s not her looks, then she’s likely in for a mid-life rude awakening.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:09 AM
16

They’re on Dating Over 30 or Dating Over 40. Both of those subs used to be balanced, but now they are full of bitter women who shout down men’s opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:42 AM
9

Exactly. On the flip side, an attractive man can be introverted and have no hobbies and women will still think he’s hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 05:20 AM
1

They know exactly what they need to do to remain an attractive partner. That’s why the term “revenge body” exists for many recently divorced women. They just get complacent with their long term partners and don’t put the effort in to maintain their looks until they’re single again.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 07:39 AM
5

I think I can help you with this one. “If she’s really attracted to me now…” The ugly duckling scenario doesn’t happen as often as men think. If women found you unattractive in your 20’s they’ll very likely find you unattractive in your 30’s well. The exception is if you were a 2/10 (morbidly obese or severe acne). If attractive women previously out of your league suddenly find you “attractive”, then it’s definitely for security and resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:55 AM
3

… then add on men who may not be overweight but are bald and/or short. That 80% doesn’t sound so crazy when you think about it this way. To be fair to all, there’s an apparent imbalance because men are super thirsty and will hump anything. I think the 80% appearing below-average (4/10 or worse) goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 04:26 PM
1

Here’s a thought. Do you all think it’s reasonable to assume that above-average looking men meet women easily IRL and therefore didn’t need to be on OK Cupid when that infamous study was performed? In that case, perhaps it’s reasonable that the men using the service at that time, or even today, is not a reasonable sample of men, but instead is a group of men who will skew heavily towards the below-average looking side? My theory is the women in that study rating 80% of those men as below-average…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 03:48 PM
1

Your last paragraph is gold. Being a full time stay at home housewife is not intended to be an early retirement package. They should be expected to do the overwhelming majority of the house work (definitely not 50/50) if they don’t work outside of the home.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:43 AM
14

Exactly my observation in real life. There seem to be few average-looking men in situationships. This sounds like a new and nice sounding way to describe the classic tactic of sleeping with an above-average looking guy that’s slightly out of her league and hoping he eventually commits.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:13 AM
3

I fairly often see partnered women being creepy to single women at lifestyle clubs. The partnered woman will grind without permission on the dance floor, get touchy-feely at the bar, or stalk the unicorn around the club and not give her a chance to get any breathing room, all stuff men have been trained not to do. I see these single women use the same evasion tactics they do on men, and sometimes these single women do complain to the club management about it (the chaperones have started giving c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:16 PM
5

Fair point. Because PPD is male-dominated, the subject of starter wives isn’t mentioned often. It seems “upgrading” goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:22 PM
1

Very true. I am prior Navy, and the men who slayed at home, went overseas and slayed. The men who never got laid, went overseas and paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 01:52 AM
5

Women stand a better chance. IMO, a fuck zoned woman can always improve her personality or lose weight to improve her appearance. A friend zoned man is most liked fucked in his facial features and will be a friend for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 01:43 AM
3

… and cocaine. Whenever I see posts like this I like to chime in with the often underestimated prevalence of drugs in the club hookup scene (not including OLD or social circles). I believe most women who go to clubs/ bars and have a solid head in their shoulders are not going to be actively hooking up with men they don’t know. I know this specific type of casual sex happens but I assume women who are cool with meeting and hooking up with random men are also reckless in other areas of their lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 07:15 PM
9

Unfortunately that’s what I’m personally experiencing and observing with my single coworkers in real life. The women who suddenly become available at 35+ are the women who are divorced and were single moms, or those who came out of abusive relationships and are looking for the safe option.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 08:57 PM
61

(42M) Your point #2 is absolutely correct. To be fair to women on PPD, a ton of men let themselves go as well. To your point #1, I agree there’s more competition for scarce responses, but not for the same reason. I think there’s more competition thanks to OLD because healthy and fit women can attract younger men online. I don’t think being established boosts our market value so much anymore. Thanks to most women being career oriented and OLD, I think all a man 30+ needs to be is not living with …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 07:59 PM
2

Well said. How many kids want to be professional athletes, then doctors or lawyers, then a college graduate, then fuck-it, a reliable job with good benefits. We all should aim high and then be ready to accept our natural ceiling, unfortunately dating included. Most people don’t fall apart or lose their self respect when they don’t make the varsity team growing up, or when they have to switch majors when they struggle at the university, but for some reason, (not most but still a lot of) men seem …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 03:57 PM
8

Exactly. Most men don’t want 20 years of casual sex just like most women don’t. The difference is most women can easily sample a handful of men at their convenience to satisfy their curiosity. Most men will never have that ability and thus will always be unsatisfied and always have those what if’s on their mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 07:40 PM
18

I think you hit a nerve. Most men truly only want the top 20% of women also, as much as that gets denied here. The difference in reality is most men are far more flexible when it comes to settling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:02 PM
2

I observe this to be true as well if the man is way below her league. They seem to be a lot friendlier if the man is only a little below her league.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 02:10 AM
0

Or the drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 02:07 AM
0

In theory I think you’re right. The problem for future generations is who are women selecting: productive men or hawt men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 07:58 PM
7

There’s a difference, he just met her. Your point would be valid if they were acquaintances first.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 02:34 AM
-1

I’m not disagreeing with you, but consider this. Do older men typically look gross because they look older or because they’re obese and didn’t take care of themselves as they aged?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 06:47 PM
2

I think you’re correct that men’s SMV does not go up. However, I believe dating for men still gets easier because a typical woman’s SMV declines faster than a typical man of the same age.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 06:30 PM
10

Great response. In a good relationship, the effort should be balanced, not the $$$.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 10:04 PM
1

Great question. I work out a lot and am not overweight so I assume my looks match is also not overweight. That may be wishful thinking thinking as men and women prioritize different aspects of physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 02:36 AM
3

(42M) I’m stubborn and waiting to match with my looks match either online or IRL. I’m failing on both fronts. 😞 Since this is PPD, allow me to warn the younger generation that healthy weight women have not hit the wall yet at 40. Based on my personal observations, I would wager the wall is now closer to 50 for women. 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 02:23 AM
2

100% agree. You should have far more upvotes for you comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/23 03:04 PM
1

I liked his comment but I think I know the missing qualities that made those other guys successful. First, those other men were probably better looking in their younger days and let themselves go as they got older. Second, IMO, most men are bad at judging other mens attractiveness. It’s kind of like when I hear women who are 50 pounds overweight critiquing women who are 20 pounds overweight. Those other men were probably quite attractive, otherwise, what else did those disappointing guys have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 10:30 PM
1

(42M) I don’t think it’s so much mens SMV peaking, but more that women’s SMV falls more rapidly than mens, which results in dating being easier for men as we get older and our SMVs get closer to matching.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 03:29 PM
5

42M, PNW, I agree with your observations 100%. Men on PPD should reread it a few times. Although the situation does get better as you get older, our situation is still not very good.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 02:52 PM
3

Exactly, and they’ll justify it by saying they’re just being “playful”. Harmless fun for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 04:04 PM
6

(42M) We all know about the lack of participation from women in online dating in general and their pickiness in bars. Let me add some insight from another angle of sexual behavior. I’ve been going to lifestyle clubs for over 5 years. Most of them advertise as lifestyle clubs. Whenever I hear someone call them a sex club I correct them and here’s why. Women will go to these clubs and flirt with men all night, but will reject all of them when the million dollar question is asked. They are perfect …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 03:55 PM
5

Because women have so many options online, I suspect many times that a man gets friend zoned not because he did anything wrong but simply because a better looking option came along right after him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 07:46 PM
16

I suspect their choices have nothing to do with histories or promiscuity, but instead has everything to do with obtaining a trophy wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:46 PM
13

Great point. It seems a lot of men are willing to settle for the path of least resistance.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 06:09 PM
2

Faces. I believe the difference is how much we consider faces when we evaluate peoples physical attractiveness. It seems women place a lot more emphasis on a man’s face while men place greater emphasis on a woman’s body. I see a lot of healthy weight and attractive women with men who look like football lineman or bouncers. Big, intimidating looking men who are technically overweight but obviously still physically appealing to women by looking powerful and strong. Notice I’m describing football p…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 04:38 PM
1

Although the popular term is SAHM, people need to remember they’re are other responsibilities other than the kids. One way to ensure the marriage doesn’t turn sour is to be sure you’re a good wife and homemaker as well. Since statements like this tend to trigger women on this sub, let me be clear and emphasize I’m talking about the 40% of married women who do not work outside of the home. There should not need to be a 50/50 split of household work when only one adult is working.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 03:13 PM
7

100% agree. Men who are successful with women are not going to care because they know how it is. The only men who care are those who have absolutely no luck with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 04:13 PM
1

Great advice but I do want to caution about the mask analogy because I feel women overuse it a lot. Even the nicest of men have limits to their patience. That doesn’t mean all men who give up trying to pursue you were wearing a mask. There’s a huge difference between making a man wait two dates for sex versus two months. Mr. Right will eventually give up hope of escalating the relationship if you make him wait too long. The man who will wait indefinitely is usually not Mr. Right, he’s Mr. No Opt…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 03:46 AM
2

100% agree. These men are uncommon but they do exist. I also noticed that they were good at reading women. They knew when it was a lost cause and didn’t waste with any one in particular. And yes I saw them get rejected as well, so they weren’t Greek gods. They just had a high batting average.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:12 AM
9

Men, on a related note, notice when a break up or a divorce is imminent, losing the relationship weight magically becomes a high priority again.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 03:17 PM
2

You bring up a good point about harassment. It’s a reality that people will have different boundaries with different people. It’s crucial for men to be able to read a woman’s body language. I too have witnessed attractive guys do or say things with a woman and get away with it, then an ugly guy try it with the same woman and get a totally different reaction, and then the ugly guy will scream bloody murder and fault the women for having double standards 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 06:45 PM
1

I think the point of the post is not all marriages are healthy marriages, and that dysfunctional marriages do more harm than good.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 05:54 AM
1

I agree with you, but the key term is stable home. Most of my friends parents I suspected were in this category of unhappy but stable, and my friends turned out just fine. My parents stuck together but were toxic together. All of my siblings wished they would have ripped the bandaid off and found stable partners to grow old with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:45 AM
4

If you’re the right [looking] man, she’ll make time to get to know you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:33 PM
5

I’m not disagreeing with you, but do you that’s because they lose attraction or because they have many options? I tend to think rules 1 and 2 will always apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:29 PM
1

I think friends to lovers happens a lot, but there’s a huge asterisk next to those scenarios. I think I can explain the misconception. Many times, one or both of the friends are in a relationship when they first meet, so the opportunity to make a move isn’t there. Later on, when both are available, then they start dating, and everyone on the outside is thinking: how cute, they were friends first. That is what confuses a lot of men into thinking the friends first path is an effective strategy. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:17 PM
14

(42M) Totally agree with the advice above. The sooner the better. IMO, if a woman tells you she barely knows you when you shoot your shot, she’s really just letting you down nicely and not really criticizing your timing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:11 PM
0

I agree, but since people are waiting longer to marry, I’d edit your comment to how she looks after her first child.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 04:09 AM
1

Totally agree. My main disagreement with Chad on this sub is I think men overestimate the prevalence of Chad in the real world. IMO, Chad is only the top 1%.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 10:20 PM
10

On a similar note, I’m a regular at two lifestyle clubs, one “dress to impress” upscale and one “come as you are” like a dive bar. All the time, the women will chat and flirt with the men… but then there’s no sex. I’ll see 200 people standing around the various sections watching 4 or 5 couples have sex. It’s clear to me the women are there for the thrill of the chase and the thrill of being the center of attention. They go to the lifestyle clubs, but unlike men, are rarely interested in hooking …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:59 PM
–

I like your message about being happy with normal bodies… in theory. Keep in mind though, as recently as our grandparents generation, less than 10% of adults were overweight. For their generation and farther back, normal was good. Today, we’ve probably surpassed 70% overweight. The new normal body probably should not be our aspirations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:47 PM
1

Yes! I’m disappointed you didn’t get way more upvotes for this comment. I go to lifestyle clubs, and the fit older women definitely get far more attention than the younger chubby women. Of course what I’m seeing is strictly sex appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 05:24 PM
1

Although she didn’t say it explicitly, I believe she was implying that she was rejecting single fathers BELOW HER LOOKS LEAGUE. In other words, a single moms SMV will take a hit, but that doesn’t mean she’s now a 1/10 either. IMO, if she’s not overweight, I think the hit to her SMV will be a pretty small one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 03:21 AM
1

Mostly when the standard joke “size does/ doesn’t matter” comes up. I’ll then ask them, does it really? They’ll always confess bigger and competent feels best, but it’s possible for average and competent to feel better than a man who’s big but selfish. Apparently, what saves the day for average sized and average looking men is a lot of hot men are selfish in bed and don’t bother trying to see if the woman is having a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:43 PM
8

(42M) Thank you for your honesty. I’ve heard the same from female friends who were comfortable enough with me to shed some light onto their sexual experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 05:51 AM
1

Good theory, but the problem with the reality is many incels probably also lash out at “Him” for fucking them over at birth by assigning them to ugly parents, so most incels will likely be on the naughty list when it’s judgement time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 10:24 PM
9

(42M) Good observation because I noticed that too. A lot of women, especially 30+ women, will laugh and immediately close their minds to a lot of the younger mens dating terminology. However, if you ask them about their dating troubles without using any buzz words, you’ll find that they keep an open mind and describe a lot of the conditions discussed on PPD, not just alpha widows.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 10:18 PM
2

You’re right it’s not their fault their man was a piece of shit, but that’s not what most men are saying. Most men say it’s her fault for being a bad judge of character. The question is who is responsible for “punishing” bad behavior on each side. Women seem to argue that men should be responsible for policing men. Men seem to argue its our responsibility to police women, not men. To me it makes more sense to hold the people you’re dating to your own standards. In other words, women should be pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:39 AM
1

Or my absolute favorite, “the nice guys were too shy to approach me, so the bad boys were my only options” 🤞
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:33 AM
1

Mine is specific to a location, a bar. I always thought the biggest slap in the face was when I approached a woman to say hi, she would look at me and say hi, and then turn her back to me. To me that said, I think you’re so far beneath me that I won’t even have a 2 minute polite conversation before rejecting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 01:48 AM
3

In my opinion, body count can be very misleading because men can choose play the game in easy mode or hard mode. A 5/10 man can be willing to drill land whales and hit triple digits while another 5/10 who insists on dating his looks-match can make it to 30 and have a body count under 5. I think the only reasonable way to judge a man’s past is to judge the attractiveness of his conquests.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 03:24 AM
0

Your advice is good for this man since he said he was average looking. However, In general I think the gym can make a very big impact flow below average looking men. The amount you of change depends on how far from average your starting point is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 07:01 PM
3

The problem is a lot of couples are dealing with dead bedrooms in their 30s. That’s way to young to retire from sex. Someone in that relationship is going to be unfulfilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:33 AM
4

This! As an average-looking man, that would be one of my two major concerns; one Chad showing up and getting all of the attention. My other concern is similar to what happens with OLD; that most of the women there are mainly window shopping for Chad, and if he doesn’t show up, then they’ll just be there to “make new awesome friends”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 10:46 PM
1

With attractive women?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 02:16 PM
14

I agree with you. As much as women vehemently deny it, I don’t believe Tinder would have gained a reputation for being a hookup app if there wasn’t a lot of truth to what men are saying. Edit: I forgot to mention that if most the hookup stories were bullshit, then Tinder would have the same reputation as E Harmony.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 02:59 AM
4

(42M) I believe society will treat both scenarios equally. Only bitter men unsuccessful with women would shame the woman for having a wild phase post divorce. P.S. Sorry men but Scenario 2 is a fantasy. You’ll have tons of options for LTRs but not casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 06:26 PM
1

N-count and an openness to casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 10:09 PM
2

Exactly! Birds of like feather fly together.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 08:35 PM
6

I agree with this. They basically have two options: be the beta provider to the woman you described, or be with an unattractive woman. The options may not be ideal, but again I agree that most men know the situation they’re in and deep down are usually not being deceived even if they never acknowledge it out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 07:21 PM
2

Is she thin though? With 70% of adults being overweight, thin women have sky high purchasing power in today’s market.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 05:37 AM
4

I personally agree with your first sentence 100%. The problem for me is it’s still only a hunch as there’s so much conflicting information about the prevalence of hookups and FWB situations. The few women I’ve been able to sext with on Reddit and the few I’ve been able to have casual sex with on Tinder all tell me they are outliers among their female acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 04:00 AM
12

Here is my theory. Everyone wants the good deal. Many men are bitter that some men get the good deal and they don’t. Allow me to explain. If it was still taboo to have sex before marriage, most men would be down with commitment and would go with society’s flow. However, thanks to the internet, we know some men are getting a lot of casual sex. Most men are jealous and don’t want want to pay for what other men get for free. Those men got the good deal. If good deals were rare, then relationships w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 03:40 AM
2

Not just potential partners, but potential learning opportunities as well. It is often said on this sub to not listen to what they say but instead watch what they do. If you’re outside of the circle, you’re not going to see much, but the more familiar you get, the more comfortable they’ll get talking about their dating lives in front of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:14 AM
3

A female friend can potentially give you valuable feedback if you are doing something to shoot yourself in the foot with other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 02:09 AM
10

Well said. I agree the quality of his achievements is a critical component of the definition of a Chad. I also feel like the quality of his options is more important than his body count. I feel like lots of people use man-whore and Chad interchangeably. I believe a man who has banged dozens of 3s and 4s is a man-whore, not a Chad. I also like your input about making other men feel insecure. Chad is a perceived threat to most men who have no options. A man can look like a stud, but if he’s not a …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 12:02 AM
5

(42M, divorced) it’s insane to me how many women 40+, both divorced and married, are willing to stay single if they can’t secure Chad. My Tinder dates all have over 1000 matches but can count the number of dates on two hands (so they say). Not just OLD but at my work also, there’s plenty of women who are reasonably attractive but are not dating anyone (they claim) and are content with single life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 07:43 PM
5

(42M) haha, good choice. You learned a valuable life lesson early. In my age group, 9/10 men will choose below league head. Duty sex and starfish sex suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 02:53 AM
14

I agree with this. If a woman is okay with blowing you with nothing in return, she’s going to be way below your league and trying to seduce you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 03:26 PM
3

It’s more than the physical act. It’s also the feeling of rejection and lack of validation that stings. It’s only “just sex” if you have an abundance of opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 03:18 PM
4

(42M) Hard disagree. A shitty diet and a sedentary lifestyle will fuck up a woman’s body. I know plenty of moms with kids and gorgeous bodies. The issue is it does take effort to lose the pregnancy weight and most women today don’t put in that effort. To be fair, 70% of men don’t put in the effort either. In summary, our culture of acceptance is the problem, not necessarily pregnancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 12:03 AM
1

Are those really your two highest priorities? Let’s say she cooks like a professional chef, cleans like she has OCD, but gains 50 pounds within three years of marriage? Would you still be satisfied? In reality, men can cook and clean for themselves. You have total control over those two items. What you don’t have control over is her attitude towards the BBW movement and her libido. Perhaps men should be asking: (1) How do you feel about exercise? (2) How often do you like to have sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 05:43 PM
2

(42M) Forgive me for going on a tangent, but I’ve been on Tinder and Bumble for over a year. Yes, she’s obviously a Cougar aiming for young men. On the other hand, she’s easily top-quartile for the 40-45 crowd. There’s no way in hell an average looking 40 year old man is touching her. Back to the younger men, keep in mind 70% of US adults are overweight. For an average looking 23 year old man, she could still possibly be the hottest woman they’ll ever have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 09:56 PM
2

Fair statement. All men have the ability to play the game in easy mode and hard mode. Men who are successful in easy mode don’t deserve any props. I suspect most men who brag about how easy dating is are the ones playing on easy mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 12:26 AM
11

Wrong. Women are waiting at the finish line to MARRY the winners. They already fucked Chad to their hearts content before they got in this line.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 01:28 AM
23

(42M) Well said. From my observations in real life, these single women are not living the ideal scenario but they’re not crying themselves to sleep either. Unless the woman is childless and has babies rabies, I still believe women have the upper hand in dating and are mostly voluntarily opting out. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for those men waiting for the tables to turn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 06:39 PM
8

I admit I deviated from your description. I was focused on traditional and conservative to mean churchy, no smoking, no drinking, no rated R movies, and no sex until engaged. IMO, making the first move wouldn’t make her not trad/con.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 09:50 PM
22

(42M) Strong disagree. I’m my area, Bumble is overflowing with traditional, conservative, and religious women. I live in a very blue state. Needless to stay, every time I reset my profile, their profiles are still there. Age and location likely play a large factor in what you see, and who are the ones no one picks. Edit: I acknowledge my example only makes sense for the “older” crowd. Apparently there are a lot of religious women who’s husbands left them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 09:43 PM
4

Is it reasonable to assume that if women liked sex as much as men, apps like Tinder would be much more gender balanced?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 01:20 AM
1

YES!!! It’s a legitimate question that doesn’t bother most people. Just like you said, those who have nothing to offer or are not carrying the same load as their partner know exactly who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 09:58 PM
5

To make matters worse, I’ve read on Reddit that low libido sugar babies 😉are very common. I don’t know any in person, but is that reputation common? If so, then SB/SD sounds like a horrible arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 09:42 PM
4

Well said. Making mega bucks is a plus 1 or 2 max.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 06:00 AM
12

(42M) I too have never met a woman who’s libido skyrocketed once in a relationship. If it’s slow to start, it’s because her libido is low. No exceptions. P.S. I posted this same question in the new FDS sub (Dating Over 40) a few weeks ago and the men mostly agreed while the women blasted and downvoted me to hell. For me, their reasons (usually being burned too many times) were not relevant because I posed it as a Yes-No question.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:54 PM
1

I’ve heard of it, but never in a good circumstance. Normally, the marriage is effectively over and the partner who wants to leave is given the option of an “open relationship” as an incentive to prevent a divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 01:16 AM
11

(42M) That’s a very fair point. Unfortunately, I think most men in our age group are either porn sick or used to their own death grip.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 05:57 AM
23

(42M) In essence I agree with what your saying. Enough older men on this sub have sounded the alarm that THE WALL IS A MYTH. Hopefully the younger men in this sub are taking these warnings seriously. In general, the men who are successful with women in their 40s were good looking men who were successful with women in their 20s too. Men who struggled in their 20s will struggle in their 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 04:51 PM
3

Sure, you’re correct about the prevalence of all adults being overweight, but men and women rate each other’s attractiveness differently. IMO, women are more face-focused and men are more body-focused. In other words, all a woman has to do to guarantee she’s top third attractiveness is to not be overweight. Women have significant control over their market value. It’s not that straightforward for men. A man can be muscular or lean with a six pack and still be below average because of their face. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 03:28 AM
12

Everyone will complain that all women ate different, but I think your #3 is the closest to a universal consistency between women. If they don’t want you to talk to them, they’ll make the conversation as one-sided and unenthusiastic as possible. For me, this has been true regardless of she was a flirt or not, or introverted or extroverted.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 04:33 PM
15

I’ve had plenty of experiences just like yours. In the end, I’ve learned it’s best for men to just shoot their shot when they want. Although you’ll face more rejections, you’ll prevent wasted time and wasted stress trying to figure her out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 04:31 PM
6

Great analogy. If I can tweak it a little, I’ll say the women go to the dealership and that lot is full of new luxury cars, but they’ll only consider a limited addition model with a wait list. When the salesman tries to steer her to the other 500 luxury cars in the lot, she tells them that she’s actually very busy and doesn’t have time to drive anyway 😂. In fact, she wants to take a break from driving… but to feel free to call her when a limited edition is available again.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 04:28 AM
1

I’m always curious… are any of those women cute?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 04:22 AM
5

Well said. Attractive people can still be bad judges of character.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 08:19 PM
4

I think the problem is the porn sick men have very unrealistic expectations of attraction. I imagine these men get to a point where they can not longer get aroused with an average-looking woman. Although the OP made the comparison to a high N-count woman, I think a better comparison would be a Porn Sick man to Alpha Widow woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 07:08 PM
5

I agree with everything you said. It’s the woman’s mental gymnastics that allows this to happen and is what makes it frustrating for the friend circle because it’s so obvious what’s happening to everyone but her. I guess as friends all you reasonably do is be there to support her when she eventually gets burned.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 05:25 PM
2

Once just to get the curiosity out of my system. I’m curious how most women look naked and how they smash, but long term I’d rather spend my time and effort looking for someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/22 11:28 PM
2

Your first and last sentence is the key. I refuse to believe anyone is literally attracted to mom bods or dad bods. I thinks it’s more a circumstance of compatible energy levels and values.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 09:50 PM
11

I’m assuming you live in the US. In the current dating market, non-overweight women are going to have a sky high market value, regardless of how plain their face is. She’s simply benefiting from the current market. Blame this crazy market on the obesity epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:04 PM
16

😂 It’s hard to read body language with delivery online, but you deserve many more upvotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 09:25 PM
1

Thank you for your honesty. Your last paragraph is exactly what I was going for when I posted.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 03:41 PM
2

Thank you for the detailed response. Your last paragraph is what I observe IRL. Part of me was wondering if a woman’s response was mainly due to the man’s approach or his looks. In general though, I observe the less attractive the man is, the more likely they’ll receive one word answers and no eye contact. The better looking guys get the smile and the five-minute polite conversations before they go their separate ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 10:40 PM
1

Different subs draw different crowds. If you posted this in any of the GoneWild subs you’d get much more interesting responses (from sellers of course 😂).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 05:15 AM
5

Your comment is great. My only disagreement is (at least in the US) significant weight gain is no longer an extreme and is now the norm 😞
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 04:34 PM
1

At this point, it sounds like you’ve done everything you reasonably can. Be glad she didn’t wait until after you got married before letting herself go.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 04:32 PM
1

Considering at least half of marriages fail, there should be plenty of available women in all age groups. Not all divorcees have terrible baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 09:20 PM
9

For a lot of socially awkward men, any man who’s above-average looking is a bad boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 07:12 PM
3

There are different levels to settling. Sure, most women can’t marry their first round draft pick, but they can still settle with a fifth round draft pick that’s a little attractive (enough so sex isn’t repulsive). Although not a fairy tale ending, I’d argue that’s not a shitty ending either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 03:14 PM
10

(42M) You are absolutely correct. Below-average looking men will perhaps have more success with women prioritizing stability over looks, or with below-average looking women, but the ugly duckling scenario is largely a myth. Many self-proclaimed ugly ducklings tend to have acute cases of “wife goggles”. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news to the younger generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 03:25 AM
2

(42M) Your comment should have 100 upvotes by now. Although this sub is dominated by younger men, there’s quite a few divorcees as well that have been sounding the alarm that the wall* should have an asterisk next to it. Average men do get a lot more attention, but like you suggest, it’s from women who need help, land whales, and women with babies-rabies, not by women who suddenly wake up and discover the beauty of average men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 06:38 AM
9

(42M) On two different occasions I had women I met off of Bumble tell me (on the second and third dates) that they used to be immature but now they matured past the phase of judging people based on their looks and instead value peoples character. I couldn’t help but think to myself, oh shit, that Beta Bux scenario is a real thing. These were also two of the cutest women I met online 😞
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 01:21 AM
2

Not to be funny, but keep in mind the Me Too movement only started recently. “Just ignore them” only recently became an inadequate response from society.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 06:13 PM
2

Your right. It was not normal 20 years ago. I meant teenage boys we’re getting that advice 20 years ago from the older generation (I’m 42 now), so that strategy is dated more like in the 80s and earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 04:24 PM
4

Very nice one about staying at one job. Today, companies will not reward you for hard work until you put in your two week notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 01:06 AM
34

(42M) I believe a lot of young men were taught by the older generation (now retirees and boomers) that when you are attracted to a woman, you need to be persistent when trying to win her attention. Of course not to be annoying, but because women enjoyed being chased. To be fair, perhaps the boomer women did enjoy being chased for months by a man who was crushing on her, but now, I think the younger generation (especially under 30) would consider that behavior very annoying and cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 07:04 PM
2

That makes perfect sense. I never believed opposites attract. I believe birds of like feather flock together.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 07:04 PM
0

Fair point. I think a lot of the confusion with couples who’ve done tests like this comes from mens faulty assumption that if their female partner gets a thousand likes, she must be an 8 (and therefore he must be an 8 too since he’s dating her).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 08:40 PM
4

Good comeback. There are a ton of easy mode majors in college. Not all degrees carry prestige.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 02:08 AM
2

That is a very fair and reasonable statement that I think a lot of men on this sub fail to consider. Yes, men can glow up some, but realistically, a 3 will never become an 8 no matter how much effort they put into every area of improvement they have control over. Some men on this sub correctly point out that men unfortunately have little to no control over critical contributors to their attractiveness (face, height, hair). I’ve seen a lot of hot younger people fall from grace as they’ve aged, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 09:54 PM
3

Not all degrees are created equal. I don’t think liberal arts degrees give anyone “status”.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 05:26 AM
83

This is the answer to this post and it’s really that simple. Give a hopeful man an inch and he will take a mile. IMO, most women hate ice cold approaches; that’s why they act the way they do. On the other hand, I’ve found most women will respond based on your approach. If you approach a woman in your league in a non-aggressive way, I usually see “soft rejections”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 04:34 PM
0

You can never really know for sure, you can only have reasonable guesses. For example, I assume average looking women or better have no problem meeting men. In other words, they most likely do not have dry spells. If I met a 5+ looking woman and she tells me she’s been “single” for several years even though she’s on a dating app (I’ve come across this scenario on Tinder a lot), I assume she was fucking around those years.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 04:37 AM
27

Not easily because the women I’ve dated on Tinder and Bumble tell me average looking men are usually as poorly behaved as Chads. The difference (IMO) is Chad immediately gets gets the benefit of the doubt while average Joe’s have to earn their trust. The feedback I hear is tons of average looking men will say they want something long term, and then get disappointed and bounce when the women won’t have sex by the second date. I also hear the very good looking men lie about their intentions to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 03:14 PM
1

… to a woman he’s barely or not even attracted to and had to settle for.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 07:33 PM
5

I do have sexual histories that bother me, but number isn’t one of them. For me, I’m more concerned with the type of men she’s been with. For example, if she spent her entire 20s dating pot dealers, or spending the decade bouncing around the world in hostels or as a band groupie, and then found a sudden interest in white collared workers, then I’d be concerned about being targeted as a beta.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 02:28 AM
13

Most modern and desirable men don’t care about body count anymore. The only types of men who do care are the bottom quartile men and super religious men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 10:27 PM
3

You’re benefiting from your effort now. I feel physical attractiveness in youth is luck. Physical attractiveness 30+ requires effort. All of the naturally attractive but lazy people took a nose dive in their appearance around 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 08:51 PM
6

I think when men they say their prime, they mean the age they have the most options, not the age they are most physically attractive. You’re correct that mens looks peak in their 20s also, but for men, our options increase as we get older because in general women’s looks decline faster than mens.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 03:29 PM
4

That’s what I observe as well. Carefree people party and are usually carefree in most areas of their life. Straight laced people “party” too, but for the most part, I’ve noticed most peoples personalities in work/ school are pretty close to their personalities away from work as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 04:23 AM
2

(42M) I definitely agree with this observation. The wall is an exaggeration. Womens market value falls slower and mens market value rises less than men on this sub hope for. If men have a relatively better “second half” it’s usually only because they had an abysmal dating life in their youth. And better is of course relative from person to person, so I also agree an ugly kid can glow up some, but he’ll still hit the ceiling with average looking women, far before he ever comes close to touching h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 02:46 AM
1

If the woman is legitimately still somewhat attracted to the man and they have a decent sex life, even though she lowered her standards, I prefer to say the woman compromised for stability and comfort. I only use the term gold digger if the woman is not attracted to the man, she’s conveniently low libido, and the money is the only reason she’s with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 07:15 PM
1

Probably a man who watches porn regularly, even when he’s in an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 10:03 PM
13

In theory you’re right, but the reality is not so simple. For many average men, their life puzzle is nearly complete with a gaping hole in the middle, and that missing puzzle piece is a usually a woman. It is frustrating having to stare at that reality day after day.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:21 AM
3

Exactly!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 02:54 PM
7

It seems like there’s more risk than reward. If one of them finds the other unattractive, they may be very offended at your idea of even suggesting they are looks-matched.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 02:20 PM
2

How many matches did she get?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 05:26 PM
3

I think your experiment is much more meaningful. Posting a profile of a random cute girl proves nothing new. However, we can assume you and your wife are reasonably looks-matched so your test proves the grossly varied levels of difficulty between looks-matched men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 05:25 PM
3

It’s noteworthy to show they’re still relevant, and probably getting worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 05:16 PM
6

Do men really lose their libido, or do they just lose attraction to their wives? The abundance of porn makes me assume men never truly lose their libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 05:01 AM
1

Did the tall and attractive ones still have to put in a lot of effort, or did the women practically flock to them? Did you know lots of gifted musicians who were absolute stars on stage but still were invisible to women because they were average looking? P.S. I ask because I have no musical bone in my body. I was always curious if any of the reputations were true or just another in a long list of Hollywood exaggerations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 08:18 PM
2

I disagree with this observation. I think lots of women still use OLD. The difference is they find matches quickly (days) and then get off of it, while mens profiles will linger on these sites for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 05:57 PM
1

But are they in relationships they want to be in, or are they settling by lowering their expectations until the first woman says yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 04:06 AM
2

🛎 🛎 🛎 Exactly! It does not seem like an ideal situation when 99.99% of the women you interact with tell you no thanks. In my mind, it makes the one yes seem not special because you didn’t have a choice unless you were willing to be single forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 08:02 PM
9

… Or he hooks her up with tons of pot, or they’ve been with each other since childhood and he let himself go (he wasn’t always ugly). Either way there’s always a catch when you see an ugly guy with a hot woman, and it’s never because she loves his great personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 04:13 AM
0

(42M) It’s a tough call. If your wife lets her body go, you shouldn’t have to force attraction with her. Remember 70% of adults are overweight. On one hand, if the sex is still good, you might be okay because you’re cravings are still being satisfied. The problem is when your wife lets herself go AND the sex sucks. Now you have a dilemma. For young, single, and childless people, it’s very easy to say leave her. But add to the equation children you love and a house you worked hard to pay off, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 04:47 PM
1

Definitely not, unless I’m misunderstanding what this sub means the wall. On this sub, I assume when men say the wall, they mean the age where women become nearly invisible, like average looking men in their 20s. I do believe there’s a rough age where men eventually gain comparable numbers of options than women and can potentially gain the upper hand. That age is nowhere near 40. On top of that, women will always have multiple options, and that’s what I mean by the wall being a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 11:42 PM
17

(42M) unless an “aging” woman is obese, 40+ women still have tons of options, including “aging” Chad’s who’ve maintained their looks. Young men, please believe us older men when we say THE WALL IS A MYTH. More realistically, the tables won’t turn in mens favor until mid-forties (maybe).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 03:35 PM
1

I think it’s true that if you’re struggling you’re aiming too high, but I also think it’s possible for an above-average looking man to aim too high and struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:21 PM
10

I think for most women, the less attractive they are, the less options for an LTR they’ll have. The difference between women and men is below-average looking women will still have some options. The less options a person has, I think the more they’ll cherish the connections they can make (explaining why their relationships seem happier) and the less likely they’ll gamble and wait for better options to come along (explaining why they settle down sooner). This of course assumes they have a realisti…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 12:20 AM
6

Not a good excuse, but there are a lot of “legends” that get passed around (including on Reddit) about how thirsty single moms are, and I think it takes time for a newly single dad to learn the reality of single parent dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 07:31 PM
1

“Field” data is critical is more valuable than any dating study. The critical data is what they do, not what they say. But not all news will be good news. You’re also going to observe what typical women are willing to allow above-average looking men to get away with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 05:46 PM
7

Good of you to specify the quality aspect of the women he attracts. I’ve heard a lot of people apply the Chad label to men who score with a lot of below-average looking women. In my mind, no praise should be given to a man who plays the game on easy mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:16 PM
2

That’s a pretty soft rejection. If that’s all that happened, that shouldn’t scare her from asking other men out. All rejection sucks, but women will be surprised how quickly they get over the sting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 10:58 PM
1

I was never sure about the balance. I usually assume the gender ratios are balanced if you count dead and inactive profiles for women, but far out-of-balance if you only consider active profiles. (In other words, women can hop on and find multiple new “friends” in one week, and then stop checking her profile for weeks or months, while a typical man has to wait weeks or months to get a match, but their profiles are both counted as one profile for each gender during that span).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:17 PM
3

That’s exactly what I believe would happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:11 PM
4

Did you see the profile pictures of these likes? In defense of your friend, were many of these men in her league (possibly they could have all been below-average looking men)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:33 PM
8

Exactly, you phrased my thoughts perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:05 PM
4

If women were as thirsty as men, the divorce rate would be closer to 80% than the actual rate of 50%.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 01:28 AM
1

Starfish sex with an above-average looking woman is more satisfying than good sex with an average-looking woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 01:26 AM
5

Well said. The problem is the real world situation where 70% of adults are overweight. In this case I think we secretly know how most men would really vote.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 01:18 AM
5

… or they are slaying 2s and 3s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 04:49 PM
4

(42M) As you phrase it, yes unattractive (below average looking) men will be unattractive to all women in every age group. However, as we read on this sub a lot, a lot of average young men struggle too, not just ugly ones, since the competition for younger women is very fierce. I think pursuing older women (+10 years) is good advice for average-looking young men who happen to be bunched together at the bulk of the looks bell curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 02:29 PM
1

Divorced. I suspect there’s a lot of us on this sub that are trying to get back into the dating game after many years away.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 12:49 AM
3

Or their standards are very low.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 11:54 PM
3

Not exactly. I believe men are more body focused and women are more face focused. Obesity is a major liability both ways, but if they’re only a little overweight, I believe chubby men get “penalized” far less than chubby women. There are certain types of men (football players, bouncers) where they can be chubby and still attractive because of their perceived strength and power. There is no such equivalent for a chubby woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 09:37 PM
5

And because of that, average-weight women effectively start at a 7/10. If you’re not a 7+ looking man, you’re either dating a chubby, or a single mom looking for a little help.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 09:28 PM
1

When you’re married, that crack is called “wife goggles” 😢
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 09:18 PM
2

How you describe her looks depends on if your using an absolute scale or a relative scale. On an absolute scale I agree she’s definitely below a 5/10. However, if you live in the US, she’s the new average. In other words, the average women in America is probably a 4/10 due to the obesity epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 09:16 PM
2

Many times its the same ratio in the US, plus the women are taken and not afraid to join clubs without their significant other.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:49 AM
1

Finding any circle may not be hard, but looks absolutely matter if you want to be in a social circle with attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:05 PM
5

If a person is only attracted to 10s, then it’s a lost cause and they shouldn’t bother with any self improvement. However, any degree of self improvement will make a person more attractive to a much greater percentage of their target group and will improve their chances of finding a suitable partner (as long as their expectations are realistic). Self improvement from a 4 to a 6 will open many more doors of dating opportunity (quantity) but realistically most of us will eventually hit a ceiling a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:41 PM
2

Agreed. I’ve observed above average looking men welcomed into women’s social groups, but they were the exception, definitely not the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:33 PM
8

That’s what I believe. I think it’s funny how so many men swear otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:11 PM
5

That’s also what I see. I’m on the US west coast.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:11 PM
2

But if most women are using apps…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 02:27 PM
0

The intent of his post is Sexual/ Dating Market Value, not hormonal levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 08:06 PM
6

(41M) The “wall” definitely does not happen before 40. If you define the “flip” is the age where men gain the upper hand in dating, that unfortunately does not happen before 40 either. Although I believe a lot of women settle, I believe women settle because they’re at a point in their lives when they’re ready to trade fun men for safe men for stability, not because they have zero options (like when a man settles) as is suggested by this “wall” concept. The consolation for men is the balance of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 06:49 PM
4

The problem with a study like this is the (I think) popular belief that the secret to happiness is to have low standards. Let me give an example from the mens side. I know a lot of men who have high effort but low paying jobs and are married to land whales, but they’re HAPPY. A lot of these men are religious so they are not feeding me BS either, they’re legitimately “happy”. So what are we to believe. Just because people say they’re happy doesn’t mean they’re living enviable lives either. In sum…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 10:35 PM
1

A Chad, but not in the physical sense, sounds like a man-whore to me. That is, an average looking man who has a very large body count full of below average looking women. In my opinion, men like this are not Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:18 AM
6

I believe in leagues so I think the key is to know your league and stay relatively close to it. I know plenty of below-average looking men who don’t struggle, but their girlfriends are also below-average looking. The guys I know with significant dry spells are not always socially awkward but often times tend to have unrealistic expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:07 PM
3

Yes, the simple answer is the attraction will be restored. The tricky part is the woman will most likely notice the change in attitude and may not take kindly to the realization of what happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 07:02 PM
15

Sad but true. Too be fair, the amount of fuckable men is probably 1% too 😂 My personal belief is people on their 40s are not unattractive because of age, they’re unattractive because they’re fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 06:57 PM
0

Overall contributions between different women should matter too. A mother with small children who also works full time gaining 25 pounds is different than a full time stay at home mom with school age children gaining 25 pounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 06:47 PM
14

Don’t take this sub too seriously or literally. I love PPD and the posts are interesting, however, this sub is also not a very good cross-section of the general public. It’s really not all gloom and doom in the dating world.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 03:45 PM
3

For most men, there’s not a hard number for a woman to be on the CC. I think what would cause men to suspect cock carousel phases is if an attractive woman (especially if she lived in a large city) spent large stretches of her youth being “single”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 05:20 PM
2

Yes, but why does it have to be women in general. Perhaps these hard life lessons could be avoided if wisdom was given by the woman closest to young men in their lives, their moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 04:39 AM
4

(41M) A woman who is not overweight will control her own destiny and dating prospects at any age. I’m on Tinder, I drop the “healthy lifestyle” hints on my profile, and the women I match with and go out with in their late 30s mention they get hundreds of matches a week with plenty of attractive men in that mix. The problem they all face is the hot men they match with still have zero interest in an LTR, even at 40+. The competition is always fierce for in shape and attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 02:48 PM
1

I’m sorry to hear that. Most dorks are not like that. It seems like the dorks that cheat are the “late bloomers” who try to make up for lost time in middle age. Most dorks are harmless so my advice to women would be to still trust dorks in general but avoid dorks that give off incel vibes or have a very bad wandering eye. Unfortunately, most men are also only as faithful as their options are, so attractive guys will be even more likely to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 04:17 PM
1

Your last paragraph is worth it’s weight in gold. The relationships I’m aware of IRL that failed usually failed because one of the participants stopped trying for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 01:29 AM
1

I’ve had some women do this to me on Tinder. A lot of women on Reddit also talk about butterflies and sparks. To be fair to women, whenever they have to leave shortly after their last bite to meet their friends, I don’t suspect the worst (foodie call) but instead assume they are the “no instant butterflies are a deal breaker” type.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 06:00 PM
3

Your last paragraph is my biggest fear on Tinder. A lot of the women I met mentioned how they couldn’t find any man to commit on any app in their 30s. It makes me wonder if they would have given me the time of day even 5 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 07:57 PM
19

(41M) Thin women I meet on Tinder are still picky as hell, slammed with matches, and still control their own destiny. I agree women won’t lower their standards unless they loose their edge.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 07:17 AM
2

(41M) There’s so many women in my age group on Tinder who have nothing to offer but their looks, and they complain about all of the shitty men. Right off the bat these women talk about taking things slow and serious and wonder why all these “shitty men” bail on the second date. They refuse to accept they don’t have the same bargaining power they did in their early 30s and refuse to accept that high value men are not going play the waiting game when they have the upper hand in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:20 AM
–

On one hand, I do believe having a hot significant other adds to your social status. On the other hand, with 70% of adults being overweight or obese, being hot is an exclusive group, therefore I don’t think there’s any stigma for your partner being unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:20 PM
2

Good counter. I was too vague. I was mainly thinking about frequency and enthusiasm, not necessarily kinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:15 PM
3

… and stay in their league.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 12:43 PM
4

Disagree. Men are concerned about being settled for or used by women for resources and comfort. Just like men can smile and lie just to get sex, women can smile and lie when they are at a time in their lives when they’re ready to settle for a beta. Many men use sex as a gauge to measure a woman’s true interest in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 12:24 PM
19

I agree neither are wrong and that it’s a sexual compatibility issue. However, that’s exactly why I believe peoples sexual histories are relevant when in an LTR… to ensure compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 05:25 PM
2

Here’s the problem… LTR’s develop over a long period of time. Your average looking friend may be attractive enough now, but if she lets her looks go a little, it won’t be long before she’s totally unattractive to you. With a hot person, you can develop common interests over time as long as their personality isn’t too abrasive. If you’re an introverted man, a hot woman with little in common with you seems like only a small risk to take.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:05 AM
5

How would a man’s chances be ruined if she was attracted to him?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 01:00 PM
1

It sounds fairly reasonable to me, but it probably depends on your environment. I’ve known co-workers in similar situations. The setting I have in mind is a college town in a very Christian red “county”.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 03:26 AM
11

Your dirty jokes advice is great advice and it’s relatively low risk. I did something similar in my younger days. To gauge where I stood with an attractive female acquaintance, I’d give them a physical compliment to see how they would respond. Unfortunately, they always responded very platonically (you’re so sweet 🤞) and I quickly knew it was a lost cause. I saved a lot of time and embarrassment by testing the waters like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 03:13 AM
1

Did you need to use ambiguous language with them? I’ve been on a lot of Tinder dates with girls who talk like that, and I’m 0/14 with trying to hookup with them. They seem to stick to their guns with me when I talk straight with them. They also tell me men lie all the time about wanting an LTR, so I assume they say no hookups to deter the liars.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:19 PM
16

I’m afraid you’re gut feeling is correct. With 70% of adults being overweight, non-overweight women without significant red flags are out of reach for even slightly above-average looking men. In other words, a woman’s body type factors much much into her desirability than a man’s body type.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:50 PM
10

I’d like to assume most women are not cool with knowingly screwing a married man, that’s why he has to lie. But if he’s really hot, the women may conveniently ignore any red flags, or don’t ask/ don’t tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:42 PM
11

You just hit on a point that I’m surprised doesn’t get mentioned more on this sub… who’s says Chad has to be single? The assumption is always Chad gets to choose between casual or LTR. I’m sure many times, Chads juggle both and gets the best of both worlds: a loving wife, fun kids, and hot women on the side to keep life exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:33 PM
6

Unfortunately most of the men I know or suspected that have cheated were low n-count men who you would suspect had minimal success with women in their youth and jumped at a rare opportunity (in particular travel for work).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:27 PM
1

Agreed… at least willingly. It’s shitty, but from both what I observe IRL and read on Reddit, it seems a lot of “hookups” are born from men misrepresenting their dating intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 09:30 PM
3

But patterns exist as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:19 PM
2

All of the men you listed had plenty of time and opportunities to play the field first with women of their choosing, and then settle down when they got exhausted from playing. 90% of men do not ever have that opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 04:29 PM
11

I personally wouldn’t be bothered if my girlfriend had many more sexual partners than me. But as a straight-laced man, what would concern me is if all her past men were totally different than me (ie. Party guys). If I was the first “safe” man she’s ever dated, and that’s happened to me a few times on Tinder, that knowledge would make me feel like I’m being seen as a beta Bux.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 04:19 AM
11

I think one of the biggest misunderstandings men have about female sexuality is believing that women hand out sex as a reward for good behavior. It really has nothing to do with what he wants. If she wants to fuck a bad boy, she’s going to fuck a bad boy to satisfy her cravings. The bad boys are simply lucky, and the safe guys are expected to be patient and flexible.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 02:42 PM
3

As a man who exercises regularly, I agree that I think thin women should be in my league, but I think that’s where our misunderstandings are. It seems to me that men are more body-focused and women are more face-focused. No matter how in shape we are, women ultimately decide what league we play in, and from what I observe IRL, it appears mens faces have a greater impact on the league they can play ball in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:04 PM
1

Exactly! IRL, most of the time it’ll be you stumbling into public displays of an abusive relationship. My personal opinion is you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to be helped, so I would mind my own business and not intervene in volatile relationships unless he was literally beating her up in front of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 06:21 PM
1

It most likely will never happen to anyone IRL. I approached the question as a hypothetical: like your at a public place and someone gropes your partner, or you’re at a night spot and some drunk guy is about to beat up a woman half his size.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 06:18 PM
7

Well said. Women wanting nice guys as they get older is very different than saying women settle for nice guys as they get older, as a lot of men on this sub tend to believe. I too believe women mature with age and genuinely want nice guys as they get older. Is it fair to average-looking men that women only appreciate nice guys after their looks face, no, but we all know life isn’t fair. My main point is that women are not being devious, they simply have the power to control the dating market to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:52 PM
5

I honestly think 99.9% of men will agree with it being their duty to protect their women. I also think most men would willing protect their female platonic friends as well. A more interesting question would be how many men think it’s their duty to protect a woman who’s just an acquaintance, or even a stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:48 PM
6

Your first sentence is key. I think one of the biggest changes between options in our generation and options in our grandparents generation is that the average-looking person has nose dived in attractiveness. In their generation, when only 5% of the population was overweight, an average-looking person didn’t have a beer gut, muffin tops, or a double chin. I feel there are two attractiveness scales to consider, an absolute scale and a relative scale. I think when we throw out numbers, we think of…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 03:55 PM
0

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but most of those men are monogamous because they don’t have any other options.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 10:50 PM
–

You’re response was very well written but I have one point of contention. If most women valued average-looking and well-rounded men more than Chad, most women wouldn’t be waiting until their 30s to give up on chasing hot men and settling with average men. I say that because most average-looking men notice dating women gets significantly easier in their mid-thirties. I suspect women value Chad more in their 20s, but as women age and mature, their values shift (as opposed to their dating standards…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 09:58 PM
7

Exactly what I’ve witnessed. A lot of women (especially attractive ones) are willing to sit on the sidelines and say they’re not interested for many months until a hot man comes into the picture. In other words, even though there’s an equal number of single women and single men, the dating game is still not “balanced”.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 07:07 PM
4

Getting off of apps is great advice. However, clubs are not much better as most of them are sausage festivals where only above average looking men truly thrive. By truly thrive, I mean they don’t need to dumpster dive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 07:02 PM
3

True. A lot of people on this sub tunnel vision on the detail that their wives were in control of the situation simply because they filed for divorce (or that roughly 70% of divorces are initiated by wives in general). I believe that the men were in control of the situation because they checked out of the marriage with bad behavior. Their wives were not being proactive by filing but were simply reacting to a shitty situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:19 PM
4

I like how you describe step one. A lot of guys hear gym and think people mean to get jacked. They really don’t have to get jacked to enjoy the benefits of the gym. All men really need to do is lose the baby fat on their faces and improve their posture.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 04:18 PM
16

(41M) Based on my conversations with women I met on Tinder, non-overweight women in their late 30’s and early 40’s are definitely not invisible. They still have tons of options (1000+ likes) and can still have their pick of the litter.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 02:43 AM
7

As a nudist, I respectfully disagree with your opinion. I’m assuming you’re analyzing this with from a nudists perspective and not the from the perspective of an average Joe or Joanne. Our society is already shallow, and I don’t think normalizing nudity will change that. Most people want to be with someone better looking than themselves whether they admit it or not. Because of that, most people will never stop worrying about their looks. People gain body confidence at nude beaches and nude resor…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:16 PM
5

A+ for effort! Hopefully you realized rejection is not the end of the world and hopefully that one rejection didn’t discourage you from making the first move again.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:03 PM
13

Well said, and as always, looks matter. When it comes to the 10+ age gaps, either the older man is above-average looking and the woman is average, or the man is average and the woman is below-average looking. I’ve seen these relationships IRL because I’ve worked at very large companies and these people spend a lot of time working together, but they tend to be more on the casual side (more like office flings) and the looks are very mismatched.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:40 PM
0

I specifically didn’t say love. I do think people can have a loving relationship with someone they are not attracted to. I believe people can also have a satisfying sex life with someone they are not attracted to. What I’m saying is most people find a way to play with whatever hand life dealt them, but at the same time, most peoples options are very far from ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 08:56 PM
0

I very strongly disagree with your opinion about professional photos. I think some people overrate their importance. Either you’re attractive or your not. I think the only time your pictures are significant are if their blurry.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 08:49 PM
3

Agreed. I think most men simply settle. In my experience, tons of men always complain about the lack of attractive females in their lives. To be fair, that complaint goes both ways. Outside of Reddit, I think I can make another half-reasonable 80/20 rule. I suspect only the most attractive 20% of people enthusiastically date each other while the lower 80% “get along well enough.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 04:10 PM
8

Every woman flirts differently, but I think a good method is to compare how she treats you and acts around you compared to other men. If she treats you just like every other guy, then you’re most likely just like every other guy in her eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 04:05 PM
2

Good point. First, everyone will eventually hit the wall, but average looking women will hit the wall a lot earlier than a hot man. Second, an average looking woman may get a lot of sexual attention but will only be able to get commitment from an average man while a hot man can choose to commit to anyone he wants. In summary, a hot man has way more control over his destiny than an average looking woman and his prime fun years will be much longer in duration.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 04:16 PM
3

Fortunately, I already have kids. I do feel sorry for men who are in my age bracket and never married but still want kids. Their options are very limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 01:21 AM
2

Bigger is a broad term though. There’s a huge difference between the Kardashian women and the women who are 50 pounds overweight at your local Walmart. Men like one of those types and not the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 09:09 PM
1

You’re correct that an equal percentage of men and woman are overweight. My unwritten assumption is an overweight man can still be average or above average (think football player or nightclub bouncer types).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 08:35 PM
9

Good point. Thats exactly why I love PPD, the shared experiences between most of us. Dating sucked for all of my male acquaintances and I in my 20s as well. It’s comforting to know it was not just us banging our heads against the wall in frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 08:21 PM
20

The dating market is good for a 40+ man if you are in shape and dress decently, keeping in mind that looks are king. (41M) I got divorced at 40 and joined Tinder to jump back into the dating game. I believe I have an average face, and the people on the True Rate Me sub have twice put me between a 5 and 5.5. I do go to the gym regularly so I am at a healthy body weight. I’ve had more dates in 3 months on Tinder at 41 than I ever had in my 20’s on the dating apps. I obviously have the same face an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 03:13 PM
5

Legit question. Healthy thin, as in some curves and meat on her bones.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 01:51 AM
7

I think there’s a lot of people, including me, that believe very few women have a truly ugly face. IMO, less than 10% of women have an ugly face.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 08:27 PM
2

Are the sexual behaviors within the two cultures apples to apples though? Does Thailand have the same alleged hookup culture that the US has? In the US, men are sensitive about this because some guys are hooking up a lot but most are hooking up none, therefore haves and have nots. If hookups are lot less common in Thailand, then no one is missing out on the hookup party like is happening in the US, so every man will be a “have not” and there’s no need for men to be jealous of other men or bitter…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:33 PM
10

Great point. The effects from rejection on our confidence are cumulative. Although this post is talking about not taking dating advice from women, it’s also important to not take dating advice from Chads. “Not give a fuck” sounds like advice from a Chad who only gets rejected half of the time on his worst week, or someone who’s completely delusional and gets through life with complex mental gymnastics.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 02:06 PM
1

As far as complies that cater to men, you can check out the websites for (1) Brickell, and (2) Lush.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 09:25 PM
3

I’m my opinion, exercising can drastically improve mens dating lives, but not perhaps in the way they hope. By that I mean the aspects of quantity versus quality. I believe exercise can help men look better, but only a +1 or +2. Not enough to start scoring hot women for most men, but does that mean it’s a waste of time? I argue gym time still time well spent as most people are lumped together in the middle of physical attractiveness (think of a bell curve), with relatively few outliers that are …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 06:43 PM
1

😊 Thank you for that childhood flashback!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/22 03:32 AM
3

Very reasonable to say hell no in your 20’s. Once you get into your 30’s though, the childless women pool gets pretty small.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 08:53 PM
21

Especially since “I’m taken” seems to be a popular polite rejection as well. Since young attractive women have plenty of suitors, I tend to assume with above-average looking women it’s a “don’t call me, I’ll call you” scenario if she’s interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 08:08 PM
1

Most likely, it’s not anything you’re doing. I believe there are a lot less women out there that are cool with a FWB arrangement than people on this sub realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 08:14 PM
14

When I asked past female friends (IRL and on Reddit) about casual sex, the overwhelming majority claim their casual sex encounters were the result of deception and misrepresentation on the man’s part. I suspect they were willing participants and knew what they were getting into when hooking up with alphas, and only got caught by surprise and pissed off when a beta lied to them about their intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 07:32 PM
5

(41M) Obviously the looks you’re born with is a major factor, but I think the “secret” is what mode you choose to play the game in, easy mode or hard mode. Looking back, most of my guy friends and acquaintances with high body counts had low standards (chubby chasers = easy mode). I’ve personally known some above average looking men, but they seemed to focus their attention and energy on above average looking women. These above average looking women also seemed to hold these men to high standards…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/22 04:24 PM
7

I believe most men prefer a living breathing woman to porn. I’ll break down male users to two broad categories. First, you have the men who use porn because they can’t get laid for whatever reason. In other words, they’re not choosing porn over women, because they have no choice in the first place. The second types of porn users are men who could get with women, but when they do, either the sex life sucks, gets stale, or their partner lets themselves go. I’m not encouraging porn use over women, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:01 PM
4

Very true, but it’s not just nerdy men. Society is currently setting up young women for disappointment in a similar way with the “body positivity” movement. Men don’t care that you’re obese… they’ll love you for your awesome personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:16 AM
1

There’s two terms to consider, relative value and absolute value. I believe everyone’s absolute SMV drops as they get older, men and women, although there’s a lot we can do to slow down the decline. The main reason men have an easier time dating as they get older is not because mens absolute value goes up but instead because womens absolute SMV goes down faster than mens SMV. In other words, womens absolute SMV will decline and get closer and closer to that of mens, so it appears men are “gainin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 09:34 PM
5

(41M) Thank you for your detailed responses. That is a lot of good information for the younger crowd. They should especially pay attention to your last paragraph. Looks can be very deceiving, as most of the cheaters I know are not people I would have suspected.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 09:04 PM
3

I observe what you observe. In general I notice two types of legit happily married couples: the super religious couples, and the happy-go-lucky types that I suspect could put a positive spin on almost any surprise life threw at them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 08:57 PM
5

Very true. I’ve heard this repeated many times for many years in swinger groups as well. Unfortunately, the hot people know exactly who they are and excessive options leads to complacency and selfishness.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 03:46 PM
3

Good point. Unfortunately, when this type of problem happens in traditional marriages, the couple drifts apart. The scenario is possible where the mother hyper focuses on the kids so much that the husband drops far down the priority list. In other words, is the mother taking every nice to have with kids and choosing to interpret them as must haves? I believe hyper focus on one priority and a neglect of other priorities can happen in any relationship, not just with single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 03:17 PM
3

Most single moms I met on Tinder that are thin do have the attitude of commit or nothing. I’m guessing thin women will always have options regardless of their life situation. it’s the overweight single moms who are less picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 02:17 PM
9

To be fair, the bar for a woman starting a conversation with a man is very high; only Chads get to experience that joy. Even strong eye contact and a smile from a woman who’s not in customer service is not a regular occurrence for most men. For the bottom 80% of men, to only way you can gauge a woman’s romantic or sexual interest is to take big risks; walk up and say “hi”.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 06:28 PM
5

Thank you. I think social skills are too often a scapegoat for lack of dating success. As crazy as this sounds, I think a lot of people on this sub still underestimate how important looks are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:07 PM
35

(41M) I believe that age where men have it easier exists, but it’s definitely not early 40s. I’m matching with average weight and thin women on Tinder (35 - 42) and when we talk about our experiences they mention how they still get slammed with hundreds of matches and likes within their first week. In summary, as long as a woman is not overweight, they will always be playing the dating game on easy mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 02:48 PM
3

I’ve met a lot of women on OLD that either have travel intensive jobs or live in tiny towns. I also know a lot of men who work in male dominated industries. For those three situations alone I’d argue OLD is very useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 11:31 PM
4

I think it’s the opposite. Think of our life’s fulfillment as a puzzle. Now imagine a relatively simple puzzle (20 pieces) with one piece missing in the middle. For a lot of “average” men, that one missing puzzle piece is success with women. Not only is it the only missing puzzle piece, but it’s glaringly obvious that it’s missing so men can’t simply focus on the other pieces more and pretend the puzzle is complete when it’s obviously not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 02:04 AM
3

And at the same time seem to have less hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 11:39 PM
2

But that’s mainly because most 40 year olds are chubby too. Take a fit and thin 40 year old woman and the choice is not so simple (assuming you’re only talking about casual dating). Take a fit and thin 30 year old woman and I think that 30 year old woman will attract more attention most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 11:13 PM
20

No. Men just wish women were as thirsty and un-picky as men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 05:29 AM
12

Not breaking news, but it’s relevant to this sub though. There’s a lot of posts and discussions on here that suggest that casual sex is only possible by adhering to rules 1 and 2. There’s other discussions about how 80/20 rules impact casual sex, and how most women have high n-counts and lie about it. I think this post is awesome because it highlights a common theme I’ve found with people I know IRL with high body counts, and that’s drugs and alcohol. I’ve had plenty of work friends over the yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 03:57 PM
1

Serious question. I read on another sub that a disproportionately and suspiciously high percentage of sugar babies are low libido. Has anyone observed IRL if these relationships tend to be platonic or actively sexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 05:13 PM
6

I agree. This hypothetical woman is living the dream; enjoying the best of both worlds. Any hate on a woman like that is simply jealousy. The women who lose “the game” are the ones who are born with lots of chips (looks) play the dating game for fun until they are well past their physical prime and then they try to cash in their chips without realizing they already lost those chips life gave them in their youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 06:31 PM
1

Anecdotal evidence. I think most of us have been involved in or heard of OLD first dates where you get along great while messaging but there’s no chemistry when you meet in person. If the woman didn’t like your looks, you would not have made it to the date phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 10:48 PM
1

I think you missed OPs main point. Women only go for low-value men if they are above-average looking. His step one was to improve your looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 10:01 PM
2

I mean you no disrespect but there’s a huge difference between you having several reasonable women to choose from, versus your wife being the only woman you ever met who would have said yes. It’s truly awesome that you found a woman who’s faith aligns with yours but I’ve noticed with a lot of religious couples that they sing praises for finding each other while knowing fully they didn’t have a lot of options either. Of course, you may be an exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 02:50 PM
9

Great observation. I notice there’s not a lot of female participation on the Tinder sub either. It’s almost like there’s not a lot of women that are into hookups, just like the OP is sayin. 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 01:59 AM
8

I totally agree, but I think the good dick is step 2. The good face is step 1. There’s probably a lot of men who’d ace step 2 but never get the opportunity because they fail step 1.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 10:40 PM
-1

For some reason, a lot of men on PPD also think most women are lying about their sexual history here. It seems silly to me. Women have no incentive to lie on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 10:09 PM
15

Legit question. When I said losers in this context, I meant the men who have no ambition in life. The men who live paycheck to paycheck and make below the average income for are area, the men who still rent apartments at an age when most people in our area can actually afford their own home, and the men who tend to be flakey with plans and disappear at times but somehow manage to always be forgiven.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 06:04 PM
23

Well said. I stand corrected.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 05:43 PM
73

(41M) Sure casual sex exists, but women can have both lots of casual sex and still maintain a low body count. What I’ve seen in my social circles is most women have one or two FWB’s on-call that they can reach out to between serious relationships. These lucky men are not average men, but instead are hot losers (we all agree on this sub dating isn’t fair). I agree very few women really want to play the field like men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 04:54 PM
7

I agree with this observation. I have a lot of hobbies and all of the women who participate and are 4/10 or better already have LTR boyfriends or are “taking a break from dating.” I also agree with your comment that most women are not there to meet men. The side benefit could be you expand your social network and they’ll introduce you to one of their friends. The most likely benefit is you’ll have many more platonic friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 02:32 PM
5

Or more likely, banging 2’s and 3’s. No man is attractive enough to pull those kinds of numbers with attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 07:50 PM
4

It’s funny because most of the women I know approach sex this way. I feel like the women who get duped by Chads lies are a relatively small percentage of women, but then again, that might be something women would not typically vent to their guy friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 05:23 PM
0

Life isn’t that black and white. It’s possible to love and be selfish at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 01:50 AM
1

Quality versus quantity. You raise a good point that I can’t see the quality of all their matches. 99% of them could be duds. Since this is PPD, when you say HVM, do you mean Chad’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 02:46 AM
11

Your half correct. What you observe is true for LTR’s. When men on here talk about Chads, they’re usually implying casual dating/ FWB opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 05:00 PM
10

Your correct but are missing one critical detail. For men, there is a ceiling to how much you can improve your looks. For men, that ceiling is their face. If a man is a 5/10 in the face, working hard on other areas will help lift him out of below average status and allow him to reach his full potential, a 5 in this example, but his face will be the boat anchor that keeps him down at a 5. To be fair though, the increase in options between a 4/10 and a 5/10 is still huge. It’s just that men need t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 04:34 AM
3

Well said. I’ve seen plenty of women be very proactive with men they like. I tend to believe women are flakey when they are dealing with “maybes”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 04:16 AM
3

At the same time, that could explain why roughly 70% never go on a first date… the profile is only there to mine for Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:26 AM
2

Great points! I’ve observed in my OLD career that lots of women don’t meet anyone by choice. I’ve personally texted with several women who had over 100 matches and never went on a single date. What I’m learning recently is another major factor besides shallowness is mismatched wants. A lot of women seem to not be interested in casual dating and mention to me that most men rush too quickly into the sexy talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 02:59 PM
9

“Most women on online dating have no intentions of ever meeting up”. THANK YOU! Men have been complaining about that for a while. I forget the source, but I’ve read on places before that roughly 70% of people using OLD never go on a date with anyone they met online. Not that these women are doing anything wrong, but there is a lot of window shopping by straight women in OLD as well (unfortunately that’s in addition to all of the dead profiles of women as well).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 05:07 AM
3

I’m sure women will go on dates with “maybe” men, but I don’t believe many women go for the free food either, unless it’s a very expensive dinner. I’m sure women value their free time too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:52 PM
2

100% agree from my personal observations. For men, having a mediocre face is worse than being 5’8”. Being your height only means you have less room for error when it comes to your physique, and you’re probably not going to date women taller than 5’8”.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 10:26 PM
9

I believe you and have observed the same. At the same time though, I believe birds of like feathers flock together. Just because I’m invisible to promiscuous women IRL and they all swipe left on me on Tinder doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 01:56 AM
13

Real life example: 41M in a city of 200K. Background info: I’ve rated between 5 and 5.5 on the True Rate Me sub multiple times. I recently joined Tinder and I’ve had 4 dates in 4 weeks. I average 2 or 3 matches a week so I definitely act fast before someone else scoops them up. Date conversations: Eventually during the date, the women have prodded about my experiences with OLD so I took the opportunity to prod right back. These women in my league all had over 1K likes and over 200 matches. These…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 09:06 PM
1

I never liked this theory because women don’t like to waste their time either. I’m sure women do go go on dates to get to know their plan B or plan C, but if she’s taking the time to go out with you, it’s safe to say you at least have a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 05:47 AM
3

This is the key point! Men wouldn’t say one thing and do the opposite. Men would admit they’re dogs, and then think of 100 excuses to justify their behavior, but at least they’d own it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 11:58 PM
7

Agreed. Either that, or these men he’s seeing are not average. I’ve observed that men, especially bitter men, are not necessarily good judges of other mens attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 11:52 PM
3

Fair point. Men have a wall too, although most women hit the wall before men do. In the end, we all have a lot of control over how quickly we outwardly age based on how well we take care of ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 01:58 AM
6

Many women, or just rich women?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 06:32 PM
9

Good point and an unfortunate reality for men looking to date casually. Self-improvement seems to have a big impact on LTR options, but not casual options. Mens casual options are still largely determined by the face they were born with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 05:19 PM
1

One factor is your target age range. I’m a 40M looking for women in the 35 - 45 range. I’ve had good success on Tinder, but I acknowledge that the 35+ age group may not necessarily have the fiercest of competition. I’m sure the competition for women in their twenties is fierce.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 04:29 AM
1

Platonic relationships do not replace sexual relationships. You are trying to compare apples and oranges. Let’s discuss your first question. Romantic relationships should include both companionship and sex. From the OP’s question, we are assuming that one of these areas are not being met in a mediocre relationship. If both areas are good, then the relationship should be fine. If both of those areas suck, then you have a relationship that’s not going to last. Second question, yes. If a man has 10…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 11:06 PM
3

Attractiveness allows you to choose whoever you want as a partner. No matter who stable you are, being average looking will severely limit your options for an LTR. Most people claim that relationships are more important than money, right? So I’d rather have what would improve my relationship options, not my vacation options.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:51 PM
2

Because most men have zero access to casual sex, so for them, being single and alone go hand in hand. If a man is single, he’s living without sex. The same is not true for women, who have the ability to stay single and have “that itch” scratched whenever they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:47 PM
1

It depends if you’re an introvert or extrovert. I’m an introvert with plenty of hobbies so I’ve found sticking with a mediocre relationship has been not a good deal for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:43 PM
3

Good point. I forget where I read this, but I’ve read more than once that approximately 70% of people never go on a date with anyone met via OLD. In other words, it’s a lot of window shopping, Chad fishing, and dead profiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 02:39 AM
2

If a 40 year old man wants to have an LTR with a 25 year old woman, sure he’s in for a rude awakening because he would usually be considered old in that scenario. If a 40 year old man wants to have casual sex with a 25 year old, he can still bump 25 year old men out of the way (sorry PPD) as long as he is above average looking AND is in good shape (no dad bod) AND has energy of a 25 year old AND has resources to take her on awesome dates. In other words, he needs to be above average across the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 03:02 AM
1

Tons of people truly enjoy the taste of Starbucks coffee and Craft beers (analogous to thin women). They actually enjoy the drink and they are not just drinking them to fix a craving. On the other hand its rare that people truly enjoy Maxwell House coffee and Michelob Lite (analogous to chubby women). Sure, lots of people still drink them, but the passion is not the same. In this case, it’s a cheap option to achieve a desired outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 12:42 AM
3

But do chubby chasers really like them or is it really about taking the path of least resistance/ competition?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:14 PM
2

I honestly think most men do value relationships and families. Like women, men want to both work and play. LTR life can be fun, but many times can be more work than fun. Single life can be hard work sometimes, but it’s certainly more fun than work. The perception of better or worse deals comes from the fact that women will play with Chads via casual sex during their fun years, but won’t give average looking men the time of day until they are ready to enter their hard phase of life. To circle bac…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:12 PM
2

The benefit of lowering your standards is you see immediate results, but that by itself doesn’t make it the better strategy because of its downsides. The main problem is you’re still stuck with a limited range of options. Even though self improvement takes time to pay off, the main benefit of self improvement is it allows you to cast a bigger net since your market value will be higher.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 05:08 AM
4

It most likely means they lost a bet with their friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 12:09 AM
5

It’s super easy to gauge your attractiveness at a bar and dance club. Go to a place with a decent size crowd on the dance floor. Suppose there are dozens of men and women dancing with each other. You can see for yourself the women there are being social. Now you try approaching women and asking if they want to dance. If you see most of these women are dancing with other guys but make excuses when you ask, you know where you stand. You don’t even have to drink alcohol to do this test.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 06:00 PM
2

I think that’s true for most people. Tons of relationships start as friendships first but lots of men mistakenly assume that the attraction blossomed over time from nothing. What I think really happens most often is the woman was attracted from day one, but they couldn’t act on it because one or both of them were not available to act on it. Later down the road, they’re eventually single at the same time, and then begin dating. Technically they were friends first, but the attraction was always th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 01:48 AM
2

Very fair point. To build on your analogy, if a man has Kia looking parents, sure he might be jealous of another man born into a family of Mercedes, but life isn’t fair. It’s not the shoppers fault that you were born into a family of Kia’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 05:44 PM
2

The problem is tons of men on this sub assume women are simply using betas for resources and are only giving the betas starfish dutiful sex. It never occurs to them that women can love betas too, and can be physically attracted to betas as well. Sure, betas should realize that they are a woman’s 5th round draft pick, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are losers either. I will concede that alphas have the much better deal in dating, but betas shouldn’t necessarily think the love isn’t legit …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 04:47 PM
3

Sounds reasonable. Sounds simple. The problem is almost no one takes care of their physical shape after they get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:32 PM
3

In theory you’re right. I’ve seen this theory mentioned a lot in this sub. However there’s a major flaw with this analogy in real life. The flaw is a hunter has to know what he’s doing to be successful. No one is born with the knowledge of hunting and it’s a skill anyone can learn at any time. On the other hand, men can be born attractive through no merit or hard work of their own. Less attractive men can work hard and never get to the level of good looking men who hardly work. Good looking men …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 07:37 PM
3

Assholes don’t get laid because they’re assholes. Good looking assholes get laid. Average looking assholes do not get laid. The moral of this lesson is “When you look good, rules tend to not apply to you.”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:36 PM
5

I can relate. I’m an electrical engineer and our gender split in my graduating class was 90/10. The girls all had steady boyfriends most of our four years that were also students, but not engineering students. Our building was close to the business section of campus, and it seemed the engineering girls had lots of success with the business guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 10:14 PM
2

It means those men are hot now and have the potential to mature later.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 11:52 PM
1

I assumed you meant close friends you see every week. Now what you say is more in line with what I’ve seen. I’ve known women who’ve flipped acquaintances to sex buddies as you described, but never close friends. That’s why I was surprised. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 06:57 PM
1

This is very interesting! Most people I know feel strongly about mixing up sex buddies and long time friends. Any regrets? PS. I often suspect that saying they don’t mix friends with hookups is code words for a gentle rejection. Do you think your turning friends into sex buddies is more common than people think?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 05:49 PM
3

Exactly. When an older man is dating a younger woman, I believe that often times that man was either an alpha in his younger years (so he’s still legitimately attractive) or he was a late bloomer (learned how to stop being a beta in his 30s).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 04:34 PM
3

It varies wildly depending on your market value. An easier question to answer is how do you know if a particular persons standards are too high. For women, I’d argue that any significant relationship dry spell IRL or in OLD is a sign her standards are too high (assuming she would prefer LTR over casual). For men, I wouldn’t read too much into OLD results, but I’d say constant rejection IRL is a sign they are aiming too high.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 10:46 PM
1

Have you posted any pictures on Rate Me or True Rate Me? You’ll probably get more honest feedback and constructive criticism from anonymous people here on Reddit than people you know IRL. The problem with asking people IRL is most people don’t like to be the bearer of bad news, so you may not be getting the harsh realities and critical feedback from your acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 06:10 PM
2

But what if they all say “not interested”?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 05:24 PM
4

As far as Reddit is concerned, I strongly suspect that a lot of men do stuff like that to try to attract attention in the NSFW subs as well. There seem to be a suspicious amount of beach bodies and huge wieners on these subs that I never seem to see at gyms or at beaches IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 11:33 PM
2

I can’t believe this comment got so few upvotes, SMH.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 04:31 AM
3

You must be above average looking if you had women in relationships throwing themselves at you. I know affairs have happened everywhere I worked (both factory settings and office settings) and none of my average looking male acquaintances have ever been propositioned by a woman that was in a relationship. My assumption is unavailable women are not going to take any risks playing with men who are only average looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 11:05 PM
8

Very well said. That’s also how I feel. It’s not just the proximity but it’s also the typical personality types. I believe you can take an office of 200 engineers and programmers (50% men and women) and throw them in a bar for a month, and they’ll be having meetings and brainstorming sessions all day. There would probably be minimal drunk nights and minimal fucking between them. On the other hand, take 200 bartenders and waitresses, throw them in a in a cubicle farm in an office building to do p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:48 PM
1

No, I want to hear women’s perspectives too. I’m only saying that OLD is not equally rewarding between men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:38 PM
3

Being a woman is very relevant to this conversation because I think they have very different experiences with online dating than men. I’m saying I read often on Reddit that OLD is a gold mine for women and a ghost town for the bottom 80% of men. I was asking you if you think those kinds of posts are grossly exaggerated? P.S. I’m trying to discuss the state of dating for men in general, not my personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:34 PM
3

You’re a woman though. I don’t participate in OLD, but men complain all the time on Reddit about the 80/20 rule and how OLD is a waste of time for men. Do most of the men you know IRL have good online experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:27 PM
8

That’s a titanic sized exception though, and is the exact reason I created this post. Tons and tons of jobs are retail, service, tourism, and entertainment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:25 PM
3

Ask any man with platonic female friends, it’s even more shocking how many more women don’t understand the difference between a confident man and an asshole. Most mens observations would suggest that women like, or at least tolerate assholes. Attractive men can be assholes because women tolerate it. If women didn’t tolerate assholes, those men would shape up very quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 06:49 AM
0

Thank you for that breath of common sense. Either she’s attracted to you or she’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 04:03 AM
2

Your points are valid, but one thing to keep in mind is if these women are full time stay at home moms or not. I’ve seen what you describe in families where the women were full time SAHM. On the other hand, if these women have a full time job outside of the house and are doing all of the house work, then yes that’s a shitty dynamic for them to deal with. I personally have never known a woman in a situation like this, so I assume this is a mid-west thing and are few and far between elsewhere IRL.…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 10:33 PM
5

Life is so much “easier” when you look better. Conventionally attractive people make bad decisions and have bad luck too, so “better” is by no means guaranteed. Likewise, unattractive people can make good life decisions and learn how to take the lemons life gave them to make lemonade and be at least content.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 10:19 PM
1

The attractiveness of a couples kids is still random because one kid may get the best combination of both parents and the next kid gets the worst combination of both parents. For a silly example, the dad may be an alpha football player and the mom the alpha cheerleader, but if the daughter ends up looking like dads twin, or the son came out 5’6” like mom…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 12:05 AM
1

If the women are above average looking and under 30, I would argue the dealer is not a BB. When I hear BB, I tend to think age is a major factor, as in the women are past their looks prime when they start accepting betas.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 11:06 PM
37

I used to be in your shoes and knew other men like this as well. Looking back it usually came down to one common problem that we were unfortunately unable to fix: below-average face. I hesitate to add height because I knew guys as short as 5’8” who had no luck with OLD but had plenty of luck IRL with above-average looking (and short) women because these guys had above-average looking faces.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/21 12:28 AM
7

For the types of men you describe in your first paragraph, I assume it’s a below-average looking face that kills their dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/21 12:22 AM
32

I believe there is only one great feature in a man that has the strength to automatically put him in the top 20%, his face.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 04:07 AM
3

No, I meant so their attractive male friends aren’t begging them for casual sex. If a guy thinks his female friend is disgusted with casual sex, he’ll be much less likely to try his luck for hooking up with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 09:51 PM
4

These women keep quiet about it so they don’t get pestered as harassed by their unattractive friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 09:47 PM
1

Thank you for throwing that qualifier in there. Every acquaintance I’ve ever known that’s admitted to enjoying casual sex were also heavy drinkers or stoners. My straight laced friends always thought the hook up scene was trashy. Point being I believe a mans opportunities also depends heavily on his social circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 02:30 AM
8

IMO only above average looking women have a significant dating advantage. These women have their pick of the litter and can choose whether they want quantity or quality, short term or long term, at any given moment. Average and below average looking women may have the benefit of quantity but do not have the benefits of quality like above average looking women have. I strongly emphasize quality over quantity so I feel having tons of so-so men to choose from is not an advantage to brag about. In s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 03:19 PM
17

I agree with you that most couples settled, but I’d like to build on that. I think a major problem with dating today is “settling” and “compromising” have become bad words now. Good isn’t good enough anymore. Everyone thinks they deserve DAMN! and won’t settle for any less. The reality is the overwhelming majority of us are just average. IMO, good is not bad and average is not a miserable experience. Perhaps most of our expectations have gotten out of control recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 04:25 AM
1

I disagree. Although helicopter parenting is bad, I do feel it’s our parents jobs to prepare us for all aspects of life, including dating. At a minimum, our parents should pass down their lessons learned so their kids don’t make the same relationship mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 06:53 PM
13

Do most men really see average women as hot, or do they see them as simply doable? I suspect it’s the latter and I suspect men have a much broader range of “doable” than women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 01:18 PM
20

Absolutely. Co-workers, classmates, and the biggest one of all, our platonic female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 09:21 PM
11

Believable, but not the best example. You have to acknowledge these football players have multiple attributes working for them: they’re in elite physical condition, have an elite status, and may be physical attractive on top of that. The typical Chad is only special because of his looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 05:29 PM
1

OP’s saying probably made sense in our grandparents generation and prior when there was no online dating and less than 5% of the population was overweight (the average person was still reasonably attractive). The problem today is the combination of OLD raising everyone’s expectations while at the same time the attractiveness of the average person is plummeting.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 06:34 PM
4

The loving wife is a prize, it’s just not the gold medal. Chad gets the gold medal glory days. Betas get the silver and bronze medals.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 06:12 PM
73

I agree with you, I have never seen women string along a man they liked. When I hear men say this, what I assume is actually happening is a woman is juggling two or more men simultaneously and the man being strung along is her plan B. In other words the man being strung along is the man she kind of likes, not the man she really likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 05:19 PM
1

I’ve never heard any female acquaintances talk about it as a deal breaker for them, but being so young it may be safe to assume it’s strike one, so to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 04:31 AM
5

Your comments #3 and #5 are gold. Not all men can be hot, but I believe most men have more control over their dating destiny than they’re willing to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:07 AM
2

Very well said! In other words, leagues are real!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 08:00 PM
1

Your statement is very reasonable. When women say a “good guy” I think high quality, and when I think quality, I mean both physical attractiveness and “inner beauty” because I believe both matter. Both genders will emphasize that there are plenty of people willing to date overweight people (the quantity perspective) and at the same time minimize the fact that their dating pool will be stuffed full of low quality options (the quality perspective). People can have low standards and define happines…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 06:03 PM
17

You misunderstood this string. It’s a mask when you say “no hookups, LTR only” explicitly on your profile but are perfectly willing to have casual hookups if the man is hot enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:34 PM
6

Did you ever cross paths with any of these women with your legit profile?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 09:44 PM
36

He probably meant that they did not have slutty looking profiles but took off their mask of modesty when they saw his profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 09:32 PM
14

I’m assuming the part that was mind blowing was the women proactively making it clear to him that they wanted sex right away.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 09:30 PM
5

I feel like two different questions are being asked here. The second one at the end of the post is pretty extreme; I think most men would not be willing to live a paycheck to paycheck in exchange for lots sex. The first question is much more interesting, simply asking which is more important. As a 5/10 man with plenty of money and plenty of dry spells, I can admit I am very jealous of my average income friends who banged lots of hot women. They can always bust their ass later in life and catch u…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 04:44 AM
3

One of the realities of being the “resource” man is that you’re not going to attract women in their prime. You will draw physically attractive women but it will be after their “fun” phase is over and likely have significant baggage. As a resource man myself, in my 20s the only attractive women under 30 who showed interest in me were the ones who were abandoned by babies daddy or those who divorced an abusive husband. To be fair, things changed significantly better for me in my late 20s when I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 01:03 AM
1

Can you elaborate for us?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 05:10 PM
0

I obviously don’t know the guy in your example but a lot of guys will pretend to be clueless if they don’t want to be bothered with a girl they find unattractive. That’s often a mans gentle rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 11:14 PM
2

I wish I could give you 10 ⬆️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 09:37 PM
1

After 50, yes you are right. We’re talking about scenarios where people throw in the towel after 30. We’re also talking about people who have no time for exercise but at the same time have no trouble finding time for Netflix.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 05:47 PM
-1

Quite a lot of upvotes. Right or wrong, looks matter… a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 04:21 AM
1

Thank you! That’s exactly why I specified a huge number, 50%. That much weight is not a natural aging process… it’s a result of letting yourself go, what I’m trying to address.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 03:54 AM
1

I disagree and I will explain why. Most companies don’t give away free money. With experience and promotions, companies will pay you more because they expect more out of you, and in all likelihood you are contributing more to the company. In that sense, Id argue it’s not easier… most people earn more because they are working harder. Their jobs get harder as they get older but most people are easily motivated in this scenario because they’re getting paid more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 02:18 AM
2

Strongly disagree. Getting wrinkles is a natural part of aging. Getting white hair is a natural part of aging. Getting fat is NOT a natural part of aging. That’s a result of laziness. I’m a regular at a national chain gym and I see plenty of men and women over 30 who are not overweight. It takes effort to not gain weight but it’s not magic or luck either. The key is to find a like minded partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 01:21 AM
1

You are correct. I threw out a number, 50%, to emphasize I was thinking about more that just a few pounds with age. I’m talking about zero effort people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 08:47 PM
0

Especially since most people seem to have no problem finding time for Netflix and video games.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 08:45 PM
6

This is a group discussion. I posted not to advertise my opinion but to read about everyone else’s. Don’t take it personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 08:34 PM
2

I’m perfectly capable of doing chores myself, but I can’t force anyone to maintain their appearance. My assumption is that most men, if they could only have one or the other but not both, will choose their wives appearance over chores.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 08:16 PM
2

Did all sorts of men want you when you were 50 pounds heavier?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 08:09 PM
1

Body weight
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 07:33 PM
1

70% of adults are overweight. Not all of them have your excuse. Edit: men included of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 06:14 PM
-2

Because physical appearance IS important. Specifically I’m focusing on rapid changes in weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 05:35 PM
4

Body weight
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 05:30 PM
1

It goes both ways. Attraction is important to varying degrees with different couples but there’s no problem as long as the effort is the same between both sides. If both sides decide to pull the pin in the fat grenade as soon as they say I do, they’re still good because they’re on the same page. The problems arise when one person works very hard to be attractive while their SO puts zero effort in and expects the high effort partner to be satisfied with them no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 03:18 AM
0

One problem is a lot of people (especially men) define their attractiveness by their success in OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:56 PM
6

Men have more dials they can adjust but all of those dials only have modest if any impacts on their attractiveness. Women may have less dials to work with but the dials they can adjust have guaranteed and large impacts on their attractiveness. This magic dial women have that I’m referring to is their weight. If a woman exercises semi-regularly and eats a semi-disciplined diet, she will be guaranteed to be attractive to many men. On the other hand, a man can go through all that effort and only se…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:46 PM
3

The morality issue is black and white. I’m making the argument that a lot of people (especially men) overestimate their ability to resist temptation. In other words, they think they’re models of morality because they think they won’t cheat, but they really will never know because their lack of good looks will never allow them to be in a position where their willpower will be tested.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 02:09 AM
1

People change over time. I’d argue if you’re in a solid relationship then it’s very easy not to cheat. If you’re partner proves to be a disappointment in the long term, I bet that reality can eventually wear someone down.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 01:30 AM
11

[5/10 man responding] I think there is truth to the old saying that people are only as faithful as their options are. Its easy to judge other people and say “I’d never cheat!” if you’re below average looking and have no opinions because you’ll never have outside temptation. Speaking from my life observations, women don’t flirt with 5s like that so I can’t say with certainty that I’d have the moral fortitude to say no if I was hit on while in the middle of a rough patch in a marriage. IMO it’s mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 11:09 PM
16

I partially disagree because you’ll never know for sure how she would have treated you in her 20’s if you didn’t know her. I think the situation would scream “settling” if she was platonic friends with you in her 20s but showed no interest in dating until you were in your 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 12:49 AM
1

Was OLD disappointing or pleasantly surprising from your perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:36 PM
3

Absolutely yes! Do fit and athletic men watch what they eat because pizza and ice cream taste like shit? Are all the men at your local gym professional athletes? If they are not pros, there’s likely one other “goal” they’re working towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 04:04 PM
2

I see a lot of long term couples where one person is out of the others league, but I believe the trick is they don’t start out that mismatched. This is due to factors both out of our control (some people do age better than others) and also in our control (some people get complacent when they are safe in their relationship).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 02:35 AM
2

I respectfully disagree. I not even convinced how you dress even influences your score by +/- 1. If you are a 5, dressing well will make you stand out from other 5’s, but I believe you will simply be a well dressed 5 in the eyes of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 09:36 PM
0

Respectfully disagree. We as a society are lazy enough already when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. We don’t need to be encouraged to be any lazier.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:48 PM
8

Not just weed, but they tend to love to drink alcohol as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 04:17 PM
25

Suppose you ask a woman you know, who’s not attracted to you, about how she feels about casual sex. If she answers yes, now she has to worry about you making moves on her and ruining your friendship. My theory is if you’re an average looking or worse man, you’ll rarely if ever get an honest “yes I like casual sex” answer from women because they want to prevent the awkward situation before it has a chance to start. I must be clear that I don’t blame women for that because they shouldn’t feel obli…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 04:13 PM
-3

Just my opinion but I believe porn can lead to men having unrealistic expectations of what an average woman should look like and behave like. This can lead to men being physically attracted to relatively few women. This can also lead to men being frequently dissatisfied in the bedroom because normal sex may seem boring in comparison. In summary, I love porn but I believe too much porn can impact a mans sexual expectations enough that they may not be motivated to settle for women in their league,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 04:55 PM
2

Think about how many women you know in your life who complain about dating assholes. Why do so many women tolerate assholes? Do these men pretend to be Prince Charming and then the men flip a switch when they get bored with the woman? Or, do women judge men’s behaviors differently when the relationship is going well versus when the relationship is going down the toilet? I personally suspect it’s the second scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 04:16 AM
1

Thank you. That’s been my personal observations as well with my past female acquaintances who are not shy about talking about their dating lives; that there is no correlation between how attractive the women is and how many sex partners they’ve had.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 03:12 PM
1

Any correlation between how attractive they are and how many partners they had?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 01:52 AM
8

Edit: After some thought, I think your point does have merit, just not in this specific discussion. If a housewife is busting her ass at home, then I think it is reasonable for her to expect her husband is working hard away from home. If a man is lazy and works the bare minimum just to survive, then I think it’s reasonable for a woman to express her disappointment. We all enter relationships with expectations and if either person is not pulling their weight, I agree the harder working partner sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:42 PM
1

My only expectations are that the overall workload is balanced at the end of the day. Your response is not relevant to the argument I’m making. The argument I’m making is if I’m doing one full time job away from home and half of the work at home, and she’s doing zero work away from home and only half of the work at home, that sounds very unbalanced to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:22 PM
18

That’s the situation I’m in, and I’m sure many other working men in a single income household with traditional roles. Some households have one working parent while others have two. My stance is the division of labor will be different in those situations. I am the only income earning adult and my wife’s dream was to be a full time stay at home mom. Fortunately for her, my income alone is sufficient so she is a full time homemaker. For the rest of her siblings, both parents choose to work. As a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:35 PM
2

He may not be lying about his body count. I can’t speak for his specific situation but in general men who talk like that tend to have a very low bar for what they consider good looking women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 04:59 PM
12

From personal experience, it’s important to clearly define what your expectations are for a full time homemaker if you agree to this kind of traditional division of labor. If you have a full time stay at home wife, do you expect the house to be organized and clean? Do you expect decent dinners at reasonable and consistent times? Do you expect dirty dishes and dirty clothes to not be regularly piling up? Do you expect to not be poked by in-laws for not helping out around enough the house (even th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 04:41 PM
–

I have known plenty of men, guilty of all of your points, who’ve had no problems dating attractive women. I’ve also known men who would likely not violate any of your points and had no luck with women. My opinion is you’re either good looking or not. If you’re not going looking, a woman wont waste her time to evaluate the points you’ve identified. IMO, your points don’t become significant until you’re on the wrong side of 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:37 AM
5

I like your first paragraph because I think it accounts for a lot of the confusion men have with women. A lot of women will throw around the asshole label very loosely, but a lot lot of men will interpret these statements very literally, thus the belief that women like assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 04:56 PM
2

My guess is truly happy will be a low number, but truly miserable will also be a low number. As the first responder, I bet a lot of people would say so-so if that was an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 11:45 PM
1

I only have an issue with OF women on Reddit. If I wanted to see OF women, I would look on Porn Hub, or some other porn site, not here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 05:25 AM
5

TBH, in this day and age, it doesn’t matter if a woman was born conventionally attractive or not. All a straight woman has to do to guarantee her attractiveness to men is not be overweight. To accomplish our normal body weight is not unrealistic and is not luck, but instead is earned by exercising and by having a reasonable diet. Although very shallow, exercise is a very realistic way for any woman to produce value in her dating stock. For emphasis I’ll repeat that a woman can do that and guaran…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:57 PM
3

Great points. Although these social skills never helped me get laid more, they did improve my quality of life, and I’m sure many other men as well. Going off of your list: (1) You will get more “at-bats” if women don’t think you’re a creep. Even if all of them still only see you as a friend, that’s still better than being invisible or avoided. (2) Because I have these skills of perception, I always get shot down gently and am able to maintain my dignity. I also never wasted months on anyone beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 08:35 PM
17

I think you described some great scenarios in your post. Allow me to introduce a common factor to your scenarios... the mans face. I tend to think women are more “face-centric” than men when judging attractiveness. My educated guess is the men whom you describe in your post were unfortunately “face-limited” which would explain why their efforts were not generating any success stories.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 05:39 PM
17

I think flirting ability is very overrated on this sub. Either a woman is attracted to you or she’s not. If she’s attracted to you she’ll welcome your advances almost no matter how lame your game is. If she’s not attracted to you, great flirting skills won’t make a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 05:37 PM
9

I agree. I believe an attractive woman who doesn’t “let herself go” will always have quality options. Other women will likely still have options, but the physical attractiveness of those options may not be as good as when they were in their 20s. If looks are not at the top of a woman’s priority list in her 30s, then there’s still no problem here. I believe the only women who hit the wall after 30 as described in PPD are the ones who put zero effort into their physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 04:10 PM
1

It depends on how you define sexless. For married people, having sex less than 10 times a year is considered a sexless marriage. To make the math nice, let’s round that to less than once a month. If we use that same threshold for single people who are trying to get laid, if they are actively on the market and are going through multiple month dry spells, then I’d say yes there are a ton of sexless people out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 06:04 PM
1

True rate me is pretty brutally accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 05:01 AM
2

Rate Me is a huge hug box. True Rate Me tends to dish out more accurate ratings.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 05:00 AM
2

... and here in the US, not being overweight is considered an unrealistic body standard now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 09:35 PM
2

Well said. What do you get with no camera trickery? Our driver’s license photos. There’s a reason why 99% of people hate their driver’s license photos. It’s one the most honest photos we have of ourselves. Men’s photos may be as bland as DL photos, but at least we’re honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 06:28 PM
5

I think the OP’s word choices could have been better, but if you’re willing to replace “deep love” with “passion”, I do think a lot of a average and below average looking men will unfortunately never have a relationship with a woman that has a lot of passion and lust.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 07:13 PM
2

As far as the first half of your comment, I’d say a Chad is simply a man who’s desired by many desirable women and has many options, keywords being desirable and options. For example, I think a hot guy can have a low “body count” and still be a Chad because a lot of women still want him. I think a 40M can be a Chad if he has a bunch of attractive 40F who want to date him. On the other hand, a man who’s banged fifty 2’s and 3’s would never be a Chad in my eyes. As far as the second half of your c…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 07:05 PM
8

“...they have no idea...whether he will become annoying to them after getting those compliments.” I tend to think there’s a lot of truth to this statement. Perhaps a lot of men do get aggressive when a random woman compliments them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 07:56 PM
1

Deep breaths... I added details to the post for clarity but I didn’t change the intent. I am referring to the “selfie” type subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 07:45 PM
4

I’m referring to any Reddit sub where people post face pictures or body pictures, both SFW and NSFW. I’m comparing the amount of comments and up votes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 07:18 PM
6

I think “the wall” is an exaggeration, but not exactly a myth either. I think “over the hill” might be a more fair expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 07:23 PM
1

Assuming that man was ever able to play the field at all. Men can only settle down with the women who say yes to them, and for most men, that list of women will be a very short list.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 05:26 PM
-3

You make a great point but let me ask you this: has our standards gone way up, or has the average person gotten way less attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 10:22 PM
56

You’re right, it should not be complicated, but it is because popular culture (and most of our parents) love to downplay the importance of physical attraction and try their hardest to convince us that looks are not important.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 07:45 PM
7

You’re right, it shouldn’t. I think the common complaint on this sub is the lack of “fairness” in early life dating (since not decent men in their 20s seem to not be “penalized” by women and get laid with more success). If shitty men were not getting laid either, there’d be no need for this sub to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 07:40 PM
7

You’re absolutely right! I regularly see hot women over 40 at every gym I was ever a member at. I also regularly see hot women over 40 at places like Whole Foods, etc. To be fair the physical attractiveness drop off happens to men too. IMO it’s far more significant for women though because they lose their leverage in the dating game when they let themselves go by 30. On the other hand men don’t lose nearly as much because men never had any advantage to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:33 PM
13

They say that now, but these young women are very literally sailing in uncharted relationship waters. They have access and options that no other generation of women before them had. Will they make good use of their new found “riches” or will they piss it all away and be left bitter cat ladies in their older years. It’ll be very interesting to see how our lady peers are doing 30 years from now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 07:46 PM
49

I was about to say the same thing. The dating dynamics significantly shift for women older than 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 06:03 PM
7

I feel I need to break this discussion into three parts: what types of degrees do women get versus men, smart men and bread winners. Not all degrees are created equal: What I noticed in college (I’m an electrical engineer) was there were tons of women in the liberal arts and other non-technical majors, but still relatively few women in the STEM majors. I think we can all agree that not all degrees lead to high paying jobs. Breadwinners: So even though I believe your numbers, keep in mind that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 01:57 AM
1

I see you deleted your post but I wanted to add one more comment. Don’t let anyone try to shame you for not accepting less than a romantic relationship. I have had female acquaintances try to shame me for this and I always thought it was very selfish on their part. Hopefully this guy will understand and accept your feelings as perfectly valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:24 PM
1

There’s nothing wrong with doing what’s best for you. There’s also nothing wrong with not wanting to settle for less that what you really want.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:36 AM
8

Outstanding point. I can relate to ignored men being resentful at the specific women in their lives who “offended them” but it seems like men who hold a grudge against all women are only hurting themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 02:00 AM
10

I think there are two bars of standards, one for looks and one character. I think young women set the bar very high for looks, but I agree they simultaneously set the bar very low for character. Women should understand that they themselves have 100% control over where they set the bar for men they have sex with. It’s NOT the responsibility of straight men to police the dating behavior of other straight men. If a woman repeatedly draws in shitty men, they need to become a better judge of characte…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 09:45 PM
1

It depends on what characteristics of a person you date are most important to you. I think men expect a single mom to lower her expectations in the looks department and raise her expectations in character departments. Depending on how important looks are to you, I think anyone can make a valid argument both ways as to whether or not most single moms end up settling.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 04:21 AM
8

Hate is a very strong word. I don’t know any decent man IRL that hates or even despises single moms. What I have observed a lot more IRL is a distrust of single moms. In other words, a lot of men will wonder if the single mom really likes them or if she just wants a safe guy for support. Perhaps that’s still harsh of men to suspect the worst in single moms, but IMO, that suspicion is NOT the same thing as hating on single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 03:50 AM
4

Very well said. I see hot women in their 30’s and 40’s at my gym every day who I can honestly say are still at their peak, and not because of luck or genetics. Being hot in your teens and twenties is luck and genetics. Being hot when you’re over 30, extending that peak, takes work and effort and these women put in the work at least to maintain their bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 02:58 AM
8

I agree with you but I must emphasize like you said, those “who work at looking good”. This holds true for both genders. Way too many people let themselves go in their 30’s and then wonder why people are so shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 11:27 PM
11

Two points to make. I agree that a woman’s desirability does not fall off of a cliff at any age. A hot woman at 25 should still be above average at 40. However, I think the amount of attention she would get at 40 would not be as intense as 25, so I think don’t the peak statement is unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:23 PM
2

What does BB stand for?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 04:01 PM
4

It depends if the man is single or married. For many single men with friends, sex is literally the ONLY puzzle piece missing from having an awesome existence, so I do not think men overestimate how important sex is for single men. For men in LTR, especially married men, once life happens, I agree a lot of single people do underestimate how much energy and effort family life requires. There are plenty of days sex is not even on my radar because my mind is occupied with so much other shit (especia…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 04:24 AM
3

According to the overwhelming majority of women on the Ask Women sub, asking out a female coworker is sexual harassment, so work is out of the question as well (my post lasted less than an hour as it got so many downvotes and negative responses).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 10:12 PM
3

... or that many red flags were missed or ignored during the early days of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:35 PM
1

I stand corrected and accept possible but rare (especially in the cities). As I think about it more, I guess I have seen some young and looks mismatched couples when I have vacationed in the more rural areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 04:38 PM
12

Agree, even in the party scene it’s mainly the hot ones who regularly get laid. On the other hand, average looking men will struggle to get casual sex no matter what circles they roll with. I’m not trying to beauty shame Chad’s, but a lot of good looking men like to pat themselves on the back for being “skilled” with women. I wholeheartedly believe it’s only 10% skill and 90% the luck of the looks you were born with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 03:47 PM
5

I never see it in the Pacific NW either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 02:23 PM
6

Can you explain sperginess please?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 05:38 AM
11

Great points. All of my jobs always had a handful of men (never me) who were able to have casual sex with multiple female coworkers, obviously without the help of alcohol. All they needed was to be hot and the women would find an excuse to cross paths with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 03:58 AM
3

The more open dialogue there is between the two groups, the better men and women will understand each other, the better the communication between them will be, and the better they’ll get along.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 10:46 PM
1

I just meant on Reddit when they respond to posts. Of course people don’t have to respond to any post if they don’t want to, but if they choose to respond, they should be giving honest answers instead of what sounds the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 08:05 PM
1

In my opinion, this is rare with younger couples but more common with both older couples or couples from rural areas (where options are limited for everyone). With well established couples, my thinking is they were much more looks-matched when they started dating and one of them simply either aged better or let themselves go.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 07:42 PM
1

Thank you for your honesty. I feel like more often than not it’s your #2 but for some reason women seem reluctant to admit it (but to be fair it should be obvious to men too).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 07:38 PM
1

I tend to agree with you. One of the problems is men can never get a straight answer and will never know for sure how rampant casual sex really is. Our only sources of information are our social circles (tiny sample size) and Reddit (large sample size, but perhaps not the best cross section of the general population).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 06:33 PM
4

I’m just a 40M who likes lurking on PPD and who’s jealous Reddit didn’t exist in my younger years. The posts here bring back a lot of memories for me (mostly good) and it’s nice to see my experiences were not totally unique to just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:31 PM
2

You’re correct but I feel in certain conversations “looks” is too general of a word. I prefer to dig deeper and break out the sub-components for a couple of reasons. One reason is because certain aspects of our looks we have no control over, like height. Others we have only limited control of, like our hair and skin care. Other aspects we have total control of, like our fitness and clothing style. Another reason to separate them is because is when judging attractiveness, some people are more fac…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 07:37 PM
12

Body too! I think a mans build is less important in their 20’s, but even if a man looks good for 40, they have to remember they are competing against men in their 20’s. For a 40 year old to stand out among younger men, a dad bod is not going to cut it for most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 07:19 PM
4

If you had to sum it all up in one sentence, you just did it perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 07:15 PM
3

A lot of men do, thinking make up can work miracles. I hear that mentioned a lot as an unfair advantage women have over men to enhance their looks. IMO, Makeup and hair style for women is like going to the gym for men. These efforts may have a +1 or +2 effect, but it’ll never turn a 3 into an 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 06:40 PM
4

A mama’s boy will usually be quick to compare his SO to his mama. Examples being: my mom was really good at this (hint, hint) or my mom would have done that this way. Another red flag would be if he allowed his mom to be openly critical of you and he doesn’t draw a line anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 04:05 PM
1

The only relationships I’ve seen that started as platonic friendships were ones where one or both of them were in an LTR when they first met and were thus unavailable at that time. Even then, I suspect (but can’t prove) that the sexual attraction was present from day one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 07:45 PM
5

This sounds like it will only work for hot women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:18 PM
1

I like your second paragraph from a mans point of view. And think about it from the woman’s point of view (so I think). Imagine waiting 3 months to make sure he’s a keeper, and then the sex sucks and they discover they’re not sexually compatible. They just wasted months of their own time as well. In summary, delaying sex AS A TEST doesn’t seem to be a good idea for either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 06:03 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. Your opinion is very valid, and that’s unfortunate because most men will likely feel strongly that your experience is very not typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 05:37 PM
1

Very well said. Some men have problems with high n-counts but I do think most men do not. I am a realist and I understand that as an average looking man I’ll be a lot of women’s safe option. I can live with being second in line as long as they don’t treat me like they settled for me. As long as I don’t perceive a double standard, I’m good.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 05:33 PM
20

...assuming suitable men are approaching them. I’ve met too many women IRL who will complain about their dating situation and yet continue to be reactive instead of proactive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 05:28 PM
5

This is why it’s so important that the foundation of any LTR is NOT SEX. Sex is both awesome and important, but I think in a perfect world, companionship should be the foundation of an LTR. If the spouse had a disease it’s through no fault of their own. Hopefully the healthy partner would express their concerns about sex and suggest alternatives for their own sexual gratification and not just simply sneak around and cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 04:27 PM
2

It doesn’t have to be good friends... more like friends of friends where the risks would be minimal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:32 PM
2

Well said. Having a high n-count does not make you a Chad, that just means you have low standards. Having a low n-count does not disqualify you from being a Chad either. In my mind, Chad’s were guys who were pursued by women and had tons of OPPORTUNITIES, regardless of n-count. I knew some Chad’s who had high standards (some would say shallow) and would never “dumpster dive.” That’s how they ended up with surprisingly low n-counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 08:13 PM
2

For men, I’d say there are two different broad categories of fat: football player fat and computer geek fat. Every woman is different but I’m confident in general, I don’t think football player types have trouble attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 07:59 PM
1

True for men, but I don’t think true for women. Tons of men are willing to dumpster dive, which tends to cause women to overrate their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 07:01 PM
1

I agree. The Rate Me type subs on Reddit are very kind. They’re useful for confidence boosting but useless for knowing where you truly stand IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 06:57 PM
11

This is very true. To be fair, what the OP said sounds good in theory but I think you nailed the reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 06:04 PM
1

Most importantly, to be a fuck-boy, you have to be sure women think you’re hot... otherwise they’ll just think you’re an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 04:35 AM
4

What I was late to learn that was even more disturbing is that for men who are above that attractiveness threshold in woman’s eyes, it’s almost impossible for that man to be a big enough piece of shit to be disqualified from being a fuck buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 04:32 AM
1

I’ve never used Tinder, but I have a relevant question. Is Tinder used differently by different age groups? For example, is it mostly a hookup app for the under 30 crowd but a dating app for the over 30 crowd?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 04:24 AM
4

But to be fair to women, for every one of them with a princess complex, there is a male equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:04 PM
2

OP, this question has a lot of potential, but the family criteria killed it. I bet if you reposted and instead said: be a Chad in your 20s, get your family back in your 30s, and only sacrifice the material things, we’d get much more interesting responses. I specified being a Chad as opposed to simply lots of casual sex because I think most men have guy friends who brag about having lots of casual sex, but at the same time their friends standards are nothing to brag about.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:48 PM
11

Not just average looking parents, but usually average looking siblings as well. I have seen families that were all above average looking, but even then, there was usually only one stand out person, not all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:29 PM
2

I think most people agree sex is important. I think the essence of this post is that bad or no sex alone shouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker (assuming the rest of the relationship is working well). If I may use a baseball analogy, I’d consider a dead bedroom strike one, not all three strikes at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 06:49 PM
2

Ditto on my end in speaking with older men. My theory; people were a lot more religious before our time and that may have heavily influenced their decisions to not divorce. There should be some balance though. I’m sure plenty of older couples look at the state of marriage now and think most of us give up too easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 06:41 PM
3

100% agree. If sex is the foundation of your relationship, that relationship is in deep trouble and will not last once looks start fading. I’m not saying DeadBedrooms are not a problem (both participants may have low sex drives) but what I am saying is that companionship among many other things should be the foundation of a healthy and worthwhile relationship, not sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 06:36 PM
2

Agreed. In addition, 80/20 rules of thumb wouldn’t be so widely accepted either if attractiveness was truly subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:05 PM
1

This sounds reasonable if everyone involved is sober. The problems arise when alcohol and drugs are involved. That’s when people’s judgment (and recollections) become iffy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:03 PM
8

Thank you for this reality check. Only based on my personal observations, people tend to way overestimate the prevalence of hookup culture IMO. Monogamous LTR still seems far and away more prevalent in dating/sex lives today. I think we hear about casual sex so much more only because it’s exciting. I think these distorted perceptions of hookup culture are damaging to young men because it messes with their self esteem. They’re not invited to the perceived “party” so they either have low self este…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 05:35 PM
5

Someone else made a similar comment about muscles being overrated by men in the dating game that I totally agree with. I love Athlean-X as well, especially Xero, and I’m very muscular. The problem is my face is a 5, therefore, 5’s and 6’s are still my ceiling. The physique draws a lot of looks from women but it doesn’t actually raise my score. What the muscles do is make me more desired within my pre existing league, if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 03:25 PM
16

That’s always what I observed also. I feel a lot of younger men assume Chad’s have smoking hot women that are 8+ throwing themselves at Chad, but I almost never observe that. If Chad wants to date an 8, he has to put in just as much effort as a 5 trying to date a 5. What’s frustrating for average men is the 5’s flocking to Chad are still out of our reach, and this is likely where all the jealousy comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 01:53 AM
2

Thank you for your detailed comment. How you described yourself also describes a lot of the Chad’s I knew in my 20’s. A lot of them were under 6 feet, not muscular, and were not necessarily the life of the party. What these Chad’s all had in common were they had a far above average looking face and they were not overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 11:08 PM
2

Can you determine if you’re an extremely attractive man based on the attention you get here on Reddit? It seems women rarely comment on men’s pictures, but perhaps they prefer to flirt in private chats. Are there any men on this sub who post pictures and get a lot of women chatting with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:35 PM
6

If you believe in leagues, did most of this attention come from women who were below your league, or did you get a lot of positive attention from women in your league as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:24 PM
4

Do your hot guy friends still need to reach out to the women first, and then the women respond by jumping on them? Or can your hot friends post anything and then a lot of these women will “cold approach” them via chat?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:16 PM
8

I would love to see this, however, the attractiveness of these women would be very relevant IMO. With their faces blurred out, I’ll still question whether or not these guys are only banging 2s and 3s. In other words, quality matters too.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:10 PM
2

However, you can do the basic maintenance to keep a shitty car running. This car will get the job done, but you put up with it because it’s the best you can get. I fear a lot of marriages are like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 11:00 PM
1

The only reason men are allowed to have n-counts over 30 is because most women allow them to without any repercussions. It’s up to the individuals to decide for themselves what is an acceptable sexual history for who they date. In other words, it’s not the responsibility of straight men to police the sexual behavior of other men. It’s the responsibility of the women, who choose the men they sleep with, to decide what n-count is acceptable for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:25 PM
2

Excellent point, people change and mature all the time. I treat a woman’s n-count like bad credit. Is it really fair to penalize someone for their sexual behavior 10 years ago? I’m more concerned about what they did last year.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:15 PM
3

A wide variety of opinions from people with a wide variety of success in dating is what makes this sub awesome. The perspectives of people with no success are valid because there are a lot of people struggling out there. The only thing you need dating success for in this sub is to separate the good advice from the bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 08:02 PM
2

I’ve never seen or heard anything like this in my life. This must be some high school shit. The only time I observed female friend interference was when the guy was a deadbeat with no ambition. What I observed much more is if a boyfriend was on the below average looking end of the spectrum but their friend was genuinely happy, the female friends would sing the praises of the sweet guy, almost like they were trying to talk everyone into believing that looks don’t matter at all. In other words bui…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 04:06 PM
1

Men will “date”low value women because men are not picky when it comes to their sexual partners. Also, the term dating gets used very loosely now. Many, if not most men will gladly pass time “dating” a low value girl that puts out (instead of being single) until a better option comes along. When the better option comes along, then that next dating relationship will likely be a lot closer to the traditional sense of a real dating relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 11:14 PM
2

In other words, leagues are very real. It bugs me when so many people deny this. I think your comment is fair and realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 08:04 PM
2

This is my favorite comment on this post because what you say is true from many different angles, scenarios, leagues, and age groups. It doesn’t matter if the guy is hot, a player, a cheater, rich, etc. The mental gymnastics a lot of women can perform when they’re really into a guy is pretty impressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 07:57 PM
2

I disagree with your second paragraph. Immature girls like assholes. IRL I don’t see any strong correlation between how attractive a woman is and their gravitation to assholes. I think there’s a roughly even balance of immature women and asshole men in every attractiveness league.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 07:56 PM
1

40M giving a male perspective. All of our looks fade with time, but like other posters said, if you exercise semi-regularly and have a half-decent diet, you’ll age well and will still be physically attractive well past 30. The real reason so many people (men and women) hit the wall so young is NOT because they get old. They hit the wall so young because they don’t take care of themselves. We all have a lot of control of that wall and you can push it out as far into your future as your willing to…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/21 04:37 AM
2

I like everything you say, but I’d like to emphasize your last statement. Men CAN attempt to make up for their lack of physical beauty, but more often, they choose to complain instead and expect women to accept them as-is with all of their flaws. Most of the men on here don’t realize they have a lot more control over their attractiveness than they think.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/21 03:50 AM
1

You can always post a selfie on a different subreddit. Women get tons of attention and compliments (surprise) so that would definitely give a good boost to any woman’s confidence. It’s exciting and interesting to read people’s feedback. I’m writing a long response because I know the first time can be scary, but the positive rewards are immediate. Depending on what you have in mind, not all of the selfie Reddit’s are created equal. Some are very tasteful and non-sexual, but others can very much s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 09:39 PM
3

I mostly agree with you, but does that really mean their friendship is not genuine? There are plenty of men who are genuine friends to women but at the same time are secretly holding out hope for the Hollywood ending. In other words, they prefer the romantic relationship but are willing to settle for platonic relationship. The only time I think the friendship is not genuine is when the guy disappears when he realizes he isn’t getting any. I think it’s impossible to tell if their male friend is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 05:24 PM
2

I’d like to think the men you are describing are a very loud but very small minority of men. Most of us (however you want to phrase this) really like women as people and appreciate their friendships, but at the same time are frustrated about the realities of how most women choose their sexual partners in their physical primes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 03:52 PM
3

Respectfully disagree. I think it’s a lot more common to find a woman with only male friends than it is to find a man with only female friends. To me this seems to indicate that men in general are easier to get along with (personality-wise).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 03:46 PM
5

100% agree. The hot assholes don’t bang hot women because their assholes, they score big because they’re hot. Many men like to forget about all of the ugly assholes that only score with ugly women. Not sure why.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 04:34 PM
2

Tons of people over 30 still have the potential to be attractive. The problem is very few people take care of themselves and instead let themselves go.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 12:25 AM
22

So funny you phrase it that way, about the priorities changing from studs to stability. We all know it’s true (to some degree) but women hate to admit this scenario even exists at all, in any age group. I posted on this exact situation on DatingOver30 this week, asking if it happens a lot or rarely, and I got fucking ROASTED by the women. It got so bad, I had to delete the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 02:22 AM
1

For your post I think there are really 4 categories of men: attractive assholes, attractive decent men, unattractive assholes, and unattractive decent men. I think men focus on the luck of the attractive assholes getting attractive women and assume they get laid because they’re assholes. I think they get laid because they’re attractive, not because they’re assholes. I’m summary, looks trump personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 05:08 AM
2

Looks are very important! I like to think of courtship as applying for a job. Your looks are your resume and the first date is your job interview. No matter how great of a worker you are, your not going to ever get the call for a job interview unless the company likes your resume. Only after your hired will your personality will become important.
/r/seduction18/01/21 09:32 PM
2

100% spot on! Don’t listen to what women say, look at their actions, in this case being their dating behavior and patterns. Looks are only secondary when a woman (or a man, to be fair) don’t have any attractive options.
/r/seduction18/01/21 09:09 PM
1

Can you please point me to the group where this question would be appropriate? Thank you.
/r/seduction12/01/21 06:19 PM
1

Were any of them cute? Or at least doable?
/r/seduction12/01/21 12:06 AM
1

Their response was bad, or the sex was bad?
/r/seduction11/01/21 11:49 PM
1

Whenever the subject of casual sex came up among platonic friends and I asked them about their views, their response was always “gross, yuck, phooey.” I always suspected they responded so strongly because they were afraid my next question was going to be that since they’re open minded about that we should hook up. Therefore I figured it would be difficult to get a straight answer from women as an average looking man. Hence, I ask anonymously instead.
/r/seduction11/01/21 11:48 PM
4

I can’t speak for women, but as a man, no lifestyle change has had a greater impact on the attention I get from women than by going to the gym. Even at non-social settings like coffee shops and the supermarket I get checked out way more often than ever before. Not necessarily hit on, but lots of eye contact and smiles. My face hasn’t changed, and they can’t see my personality, education, or stable job, so it must be my improved physique they are responding to. People do need to remember to keep …
/r/seduction11/01/21 11:20 PM
1

I really like your response overall. The one point I disagree with is I believe simply asking her when she’s free doesn’t give her an easy out but instead actually puts her in a potentially very uncomfortable position. If you give her a relatively smaller window of time to work with AND she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, THIS scenario gives her the easy out of inventing an infinite number of excuses to explain why she’s not available in the near future and then she can change the subject an…
/r/seduction08/01/21 04:38 PM
8

The types of dates she recommends or agrees to can also indicate what direction she wants the relationship to head in. If you recommend going out for drinks after 10 and she’s enthusiastic, she may be down for a “fun” night out with you. If she’s not enthusiastic about a date with alcohol and instead recommends hanging out at the park, going for a bike ride, bowling, etc, then she probably has something with LTR potential in mind.
/r/seduction05/01/21 04:49 AM
1

You can try posting one of those selfie’s and asking for feedback.
/r/seduction04/01/21 01:19 AM
1

I think (hope) most men assume they’re not going to get a straight answer about a girl’s body count. How’s this for a theory. I believe birds of like feather flock together. If you’re dubious of her answer, look at the behavior of the other girls in her social circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 04:35 PM
1

Totally agree. In addition, since many more people are single in their 30s, I’d like to add that there are even less “outliers” the older you get. From personal observations even the formerly promiscuous single ones start to slow down and look for more meaningful LTRs. On the other hand a recent divorcee might talk about wanting to play the field and recapture their youth but most of those episodes seem to be short lived if they’re good looking but more fantasy for most.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 04:29 PM
1

In theory they don’t like men with high body counts. In reality those types of guys have all the options in the world. Women are good at talking about hypotheticals. Then the real world reminds them that the only men with low body counts are the unattractive ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 04:18 PM
2

I really like your second paragraph. In my mind there’s a difference between compromising and settling. Unless your very shallow, factors other than looks should be considered for your LTR partners. At the same time, everyone has a minimum level of attractiveness they’re willing to work with (normally) even though we reach for the stars when we’re younger. In my mind, it’s only settling if you marry someone below your minimum level of attraction as a result of desperation, as in you have no othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/20 08:43 PM
2

100% agree with your post. A lot of young people focus too much on their “game”. Instead they should be focusing on how can they can make themselves more physically attractive to women (gym, grooming, how you dress). By the time you’re 18 years old, it should be obvious how important looks are to women. No matter what women claim, their actions speak louder than their words. Looks aren’t everything, but think of looks as your resume. No matter how awesome of a guy you are, you’ll never get a job…
/r/seduction29/12/20 06:07 PM
3

100% agree with your criticism about this paranoia about mind games. This sounds like the kind of nonsense people who believe in “bad boys” and “nice guys” would say. Either they’re interested or they’re not.
/r/seduction29/12/20 12:42 AM
1

How strong is your social circle? If you’re not the party type, this is where platonic female friends can come in handy. If you have them, see if they know if single and decent-looking girls. The more acquaintances you have the bigger your net.
/r/seduction25/12/20 04:24 PM
1

Totally agree. In other words, being handsome is just one piece of the big picture, which is being attractive. If you weren’t born with a handsome face you’ll be starting at a disadvantage but by no means are you doomed. You still have a lot of control over the other components of what makes a man attractive. Kick ass in some of these areas you have control over to compensate for the areas you don’t have control over. If you have mature female friends you trust, you should ask them to point out …
/r/seduction23/12/20 11:10 PM
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