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HeyHello88 Archive

View 3 posts and 37 comments by HeyHello88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yeah, I suppose any separation wouldn’t be good terms in general. I mean, no kids? I’d just cut the cord. She may still have feeling a for you but I doubt this is doing you any good. Yiu seem to be doing pretty well which is great, but the on and off meet ups doesn’t sit right. Is she just keepin you in her back pocket just in case? Does she have legit feelings and wants to stay in touch? Who knows? She’s no longer your concern.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 03:56 PM
3

Was the separation amicable? Leave on good terms? It’s interesting she still wants to connect once in a while. I’m assuming if it went badly you’d be out of contact.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 02:39 PM
15

Yep. Let her deal with it. Her mistakes are no longer your concern. Take care of yourself and your kids. Don’t give her a second thought.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:28 PM
1

Ugh. Yeah, i hear ya. It’s a hard realization to come to. Just difficult to accept this is where we’re at. I appreciate you, man. I guess I just need a kick in the ass.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:31 PM
2

You make some great points. I appreciate your response. Still, it doesn’t sit right. I’m not a push over. I don’t bow to every whim. I stand up for myself. She even says “why can’t you just do what I want.” More so in a joking manner. We have a good relationship in that sense. We get along well. It’s the intimacy. I do agree a lot with what you stated. Trying to figure where it fits into my marriage. It’s a lot to process. A lot of reflection. Obviously there are many dynamics in a relationship,…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:01 PM
1

I understand. I guess sometimes things just end this way. Take each other for granted. While I’m no angel or perfect husband, I do try. I have tried. I’m not a jerk, but I’m not a push over. I’m just wanting to be happy. Right now I am not.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:51 PM
2

Shit, man. I’m so sorry. Nobody deserves that. How the hell does somebody just cut such an important part of their life out like that? Without even an explanation. I really wish there was something I could say, but I feel for you. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. You are defiantly further in the process than I am. I’ll sleep on the couch or in another room but then she’ll get mad at me for not sleeping in bed. I don’t sleep with my “roommates.” Never have, so why start now. I hear you on the…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:55 PM
1

Have you started the process at least. I’ve mentally started, just trying to figure out what I have to do. What I have to account for. I really don’t have many people to talk to about this, and am trying not to raise any red flags with our friends and such. I just don’t know where to start. If it comes to it, I am just hoping we can do it amicably. She gives no indication of it being outside, but I suppose when shit hits the fan it’ll be a different story.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:49 PM
1

Haha! Thanks. This is more about your side note. I’ve been out of the scene for so long I wouldn’t even know where to start. Glad to know there is hope. That’s me. I love being committed to another person. As you said, there is trust there. Im okay with not diving in. I can wait. I can bring up the counseling piece. No idea how she’ll respond, but it is a good litmus test. I think it’s pretty much my last option. This is really hard, man. I appreciate your input and giving me some hope.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:47 PM
2

Thank you. You’re not wrong. The longer it goes, the more disconnected I become. Then she becomes disconnected and then it drags. She’ll get angry and then ask me what the problem is. She knows the problem. We’ve been through this a millions times. She’s “trained” me pretty well throughout the years to never ask. How dare I ask her or bring up sex “right now.” It’s never the right time, so I just don’t even initiate anymore. I know that’s not the way it should work, but this has been going on fo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:28 PM
1

Thank you. Yeah, I’ll check it out. Never heard of it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:21 PM
2

This is the hard part. She isn’t cold, per se, she just doesn’t ever want sex. It’s always something else is more important and she can’t mentally prepare for it or something. The longer it goes the colder I become. Then she gets angry that I’m being cold. She knows the problem but won’t do anything to address it. I can’t make her want to have sex. Nothing I do is ever going to want to, at least with me. It really is crushing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:18 PM
4

No, she’d care. She’s even said “if you ever cheat on me, just let me know so we can be done” or something to that affect. Meaning, she recognized the problem, yet chooses not to try and fix it. I’m fucking lost, man. I’m at my breaking point.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:15 PM
4

Yep. I understand. This is how we are. I feel like we talk then it’s a bit here, a bit there. This has been going on for way too long. I’m upset with myself for allowing it. Figured I just held on to some hope, to no avail. Thank you for the response. I wish you well, man. Sincerely. Nobody deserves this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:12 PM
5

Thanks for the response. You raise good points. Spot on really. I just don’t know what I did or didn’t do, man. I really don’t know. We’ve talked about it, then it just goes back to the same old. I don’t know if the lack of desire is me or if there is something going on with her. I am at a loss. All I know is that I can’t do it anymore. I’m at a point where I feel like I’d rather be alone than playing nice and keeping it bottled up. Fucking crushes me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:09 PM
1

Sorry man. I’ve been off this for a bit. Thank you for reaching out. It’s been the same. When I think things are getting better, they aren’t. At least not on a sexual way. We’ve talked and we’ve just become disconnected: I get it. However, that doesn’t explain the entire time we’ve been together. I do appreciate her honesty and we’ve been working on it. I feel I’m putting more in, but my needs aren’t being met. Ugh. Still lost, man. How are you?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:48 AM
2

Man, that’s just so fucked. Divorce is such a dirty business. Ridiculous that there’s no way to deal with a situation like this. Hard enough to process all the emotion and now have to deal with this as well. Insane
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 05:01 PM
5

She can’t just withdraw that money and get away with it? Right? That seems highly illegal considering it’s a joint account and if it’s not part of the agreement, she should have that ability. I’d lawyer up big time and get some of that back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 04:47 PM
2

Sounds about right. I go out on weekends more with my friends than her. There’s not a whole lot of fun with her anymore. I know people who have gotten divorced and want to talk with them, but I just don’t really want anyone knowing just yet. I have to get my head straight first.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 11:46 PM
2

I totally understand. My wife just ripped into me for something that wasn’t my fault. Yet, again. Kid made a mistake and somehow it’s on me. Yeah, man, I’m done. This cycle has been going on for far too long and I’m tired. Was researching divorce laws in my state today actually.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 11:18 PM
1

This is good advice. That’s really the way I want to handle it. Already started with some research. Hoping to make things work, but I’m not sure I have it in me for another repeat of this cycle. It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I appreciate the post, man. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 09:16 PM
2

Nope. Kids pick up on stuff. They see how you interact. They’ll normalize it. It’s better to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:53 PM
2

Yeah. I feel like I need to step back and take stock of what’s happening. I’m trying to be as helpful and supportive as I can to give her what she needs. Just not reciprocated in the ways I need. Never thought I’d be trying to process this. We’ve been together for so long. I don’t want to come off as talking shit about her either. She works hard, is a great mom. There’s so many things. Just not the things I need in our relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 03:38 PM
3

That is a perfect quote. Sums it up nicely. It’s sad that something you worked so hard for can be broken so easily.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 11:04 AM
2

Thanks again for the response. Yeah, she’s a good person. It’s just pretty empty when it comes to me. It seems she’s chasing something and I don’t even know what it is. I guess I’m an adult and should be able to take care of myself. It’s at a point where I feel like I’m here to help with the kids and be part of their support system which is great, but I don’t need to be here for that. I don’t know what it takes to stick. We have the same talk over and over. Yet nothing changes.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 10:54 AM
3

Damn. Again. Another strong post. Reading my mind. We both work decent jobs, same income roughly. We Have my insurance. However, everything is about money. Everything! I get preparing for the future, but you might not make It to “the future.” Care for what yiu have and focus on that. Love that! Live that! Not in her language, man. Not at all. Apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 03:45 AM
1

Wow. After 18 years of marriage and 25 years together we are where we are. You raise an interesting point that requires some processing. She can be thoughtful, she’s a good mom (even though I don’t always agree) she’s great in that aspect. She’s financially savvy. Smart. However. When it comes to us, it’s empty. Honestly, I don’t think she always sees it and I don’t think it’s at all on her list. Not trying to knock her. She has her issues to deal with and I have mine. I’ve never really thought …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 03:08 AM
4

I agree you’re on to something, however, I am not a push over and she’ll be the first to admit it. She always makes comments that people do this and that, or her husband does this and that. Shes even said stuff to her parents in front of me how I don’t “act as other husbands do.” Other husbands do what their wives want and so on. It’s like I help and try or I get stubborn and hold off. I think at this point she just doesn’t like me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 01:52 AM
6

Yeah. I mean, just decide you don’t want someone romantically but you want everything else? Sounds like another guy could be in the works. Not that she has cheated, but someone she fancies in a romantic way that is not her husband. The fact she wants everything the same but not him as a romantic partner seems kinda strange.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 11:00 PM
1

What? Without saying anything? Yeah, that’s some serious passive aggressiveness. I am familiar with it, and to be honest have kinda fallen into a bit of that myself out of spite and exhaustion. We try to open as open as possible but when it seems like nobody is listening, then what?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 04:11 PM
1

This shit is crazy. How did you find the number? I’m also wondering if time away could help, but I feel like if we go that route, it’ll be done anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 04:10 PM
1

Thanks. I agree. This can’t be a one sided thing. It does take both of us to make this work. I feel that 25 years together and falling into thr same patterns over and over, isn’t really because a lack of trying. We talk, we have tried, but it always goes back to the way it was in a short period of time. It’s been like this for as long as I can remember. I feel like we are in this constant cycle and can’t break it. It almost seems like everything in our lives is more important than us. Like, it a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 03:19 PM
1

You make a really good point here. I understand what you’re saying and can’t disagree with you about when things get tough, quitting is easier. However, this has been ongoing. We talk, we try to fix, then it goes back to the way it was. It’s a hard cycle to break and I’m tired of living this same thing over and over. We do communicate, for the most part. However, it changes for a short period and then it just goes back to how it was. I’m just tired and frustrated, man.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 03:13 PM
1

I haven’t made it that far. I have “fallen asleep” on the couch a bit. Just say I didn’t want to wake her up by coming up too late. I find myself staying up later, having a few beers, and falling asleep. Then she asks why I slept on the couch. If it goes in for more than a day, she’ll ask if I’m actually going to come to bed. I’m so confused. Do you want me in the bed or not? It seems like you couldn’t care less, then when I’m not, she’s upset.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 03:10 PM
2

Wow, man. I’m sorry. This is awful. It’s like she was just sitting and waiting for an excuse to end it. I have some similar experiences about things she says in front of others. I try to fire back when I can. However, a lot of times I’m not gonna come off as the asshole. Her family has been great to me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 02:55 PM
2

Yeah, I feel like it’s the same arguments over and over. We talk. Then we “fix” it. Then in a day or two it goes back to the way it was. I don’t know how much longer I can play this game.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 02:54 PM
5

Yeah. We’ve been together for 25 years and married for 18. I feel like I’m not even needed. I think the family would be just fine without me. Kind of a strange realization. I feel like I’m a good husband. Im involved. I take on my share of responsibilities. I just don’t understand. It is wreaking havoc on me mentally. She’s a good person, good mother, just feel like I’m just an extra burden that she has to deal with. Honestly don’t know where that comes from. It just really sucks to end up like …
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 12:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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