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IAIM2023 Archive

View 5 posts and 82 comments by IAIM2023 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Can you divorce her more than once? I don’t think one divorce is enough for this strumpet.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 12:12 PM
5

It takes 2 to tango. Be careful with the gas lighting. In my case, I know my mess ups but I was willing to work on it; she wasn’t. Keep in mind, some women try to convince themselves they didn’t contribute to the marriage downfall to rid themselves of guilt, take zero accountability and proceed with shitty chess moves. You’re not perfect but the same goes for her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 07:07 PM
3

This is the way. Worked for me too
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 08:32 PM
4

Not when you’re already married to the guy and they didn’t know each other when it happened. Also, wtf is OP’s wife reaching out to exes? That’s some weird and toxic behavior. Big red flag. It would be helpful if OP can explain why his wife felt the need to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 01:42 PM
4

Her making 4x is an advantage for you. Get a lawyer and build a strategy. Be persistent, solemn and don’t humor her shenanigans. Someone in the sub said counter sue. That sounds about right.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:33 AM
11

Honestly, at that point I would have sold everything, including cashing in on my 401k early and moved to Mexico or something. Put all my cash in Panama and buy property in Latin America. Leave nothing to her bc of that bullsh!t move. I get that none working spouses in their 40s need support but your bil’s case is ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 12:58 PM
1

Talk to a lawyer man! Why are you asking us? She may NOT be entitled to the house since it’s a PREMARITAL asset. Don’t make assumptions that will cost you your house without verifying it first with an expert. I am pretty sure the 50/50 asset split only counts for assets acquired during the marriage. Your casa is your casa. It would also suck to have to refinance with today’s rates; especially if you have a low rate today.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 03:19 PM
3

She had this plan when she first sat you down and was already emotionally or physically unfaithful. She planned this with that guy. I hope you know that. I know it stings but don’t let her insult your intelligence and take advantage of your vulnerability. You’ll regret it when you recover and your feelings for her are purged.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 05:19 AM
9

I think even by US standards that’s a good chunk of change. Seems ridiculous you’re agreeing to this as a life time arrangement. Have you consulted with a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 03:15 AM
4

$3k a month? Or a one time payment?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 03:01 AM
6

I would not be surprised if she wants you to initiate the divorce and is trying to jump start the process through shitty behavior. Maybe start talking to a lawyer and get in the habit of recording her with hidden devices, check her phone records and start preparing the house for your comfort during the separation period. Move your share of finances on a private account…. Sadly, she will switch to answering with “talk to my lawyer” and won’t make it easy on you. You’ll probably want to start thin…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:04 PM
7

Well sucks for her bc you get half of all her assets plus alimony. Funny how husbands are more than happy to cover for their low income spouse but she makes you pay half of all living expenses when you’re making a fraction of the salary. What a selfish entitled pos you got there as a wife. Lawyer up buddy. I guarantee you this will cost her and you’ll come out of this with a pretty penny.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:45 PM
4

Aren’t you both making the same? Why in the world fuk is she asking for anything? Only thing in play, when you’re both making the same, is child support, which you would cover half only. Sounds like she (like my ex) is the type with a “pie in the sky” delusion of what she is entitled to as a woman. So no 👎, put your foot down on this one or suffer the consequences. Heed my warning!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 10:52 PM
3

Pick one additional hobby besides the gym. Preferably a social one. You need the distraction and talk to people. You don’t have to figure out everything this second but the gym alone won’t be enough. Force yourself to budge
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 02:53 AM
5

Hey man, it’s not personal. They don’t really know you that well. It’s subjective rejection. They’re saying no to your game and not you. I recommend you don’t put all your eggs in one basket and maybe engage in conversation with multiple girls. Rejection became meaningless to me when 3 would say yes and 2 say no. The ones that say no 2nd guess themselves sometimes when you take it pretty casually and move on quickly. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Just to clarify, this applies to dating. Once y…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:16 PM
18

I mean, I think she is a healthier partner but you never really know what they can turn into. I’m just taking it slow and giving myself time to know her well. My ex-wife did a number on me so it’s hard to trust women for me. When you experience harm and trauma from a “loving” partner, your life changes and you see the world differently. I wish it wasn’t the case but I unlocked a new survival mechanism.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 10:54 PM
3

About $8k in lawyer related fees, half of our joint savings ($140k/2=$70k), which she contributed to, and $62k to buy out her half of the home equity while accounting for her half of realtor fees and repair costs on an estimated sale price. I did get to keep the house though. I don’t feel bad about the large sums since she was a contributor, though I doubt she would’ve been able to own a home and save that much had she not married me. I kinda managed our financial strategies and she knew squat a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:28 PM
1

Did she contest? And did she get anything from it?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:19 PM
1

I paid the subscription, it’s like $35 a month. Well worth it imo with the results i got. Just do a good job at selling your profile and add good pictures.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 05:54 PM
5

I’ve had a decent turnout in Hinge. Bumble uses an algorithm prioritizing women and Tinder is a shit show only useful for international travel. Hinge has kept my dating life pretty booked. Just make sure you put in the work for your profile.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 03:11 PM
2

Nice job
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 07:45 PM
4

The only thing I would add is don’t let your emotions and weak mental state be a reason for not fighting for your fair share of marital assets. I am so happy I didn’t let my ex force me to sell the house and instead I forced her to take a conservative cash buyout. Keeping my 2.5% mortgage was a big relief too. Letting her have her way would’ve set me back years on my financial goals.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 07:29 PM
1

Was it a mutual separation or were you blindsided? Just curious
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:00 PM
1

You’ll get there and will be surprised by the contrast with your past self. I can say confidently I am a better version of myself today, even compared to the guy I was before the separation even started and things seemed normal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:46 PM
17

Honestly man, the silver lining is that you become more of a badass once you walk through that valley of death. It’s through pain and suffering that we become a better version of ourselves. I’ve been evolving in interesting ways and once I had the right mindset, good things started happening. Harness that pain and convert it into something that will elevate you. I also realized how toxic she could be and how much crap I put up with. This is an opportunity to rebuild a stronger foundation and lea…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 12:14 AM
1

I hope she finds reason and gets tired of the senseless fighting and spending. It is a battle of mental endurance.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 07:29 PM
1

Oh boy lol, yeah they’re often unreasonable. What was the outcome?
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 01:42 PM
1

Judges and lawyers don’t understand finance. You have to educate them, though it is a challenge. They screw people over without realizing it. To me, it makes perfect sense to factor in the cost of selling a property through Realtors. That’s 10s of thousands of dollars they’re robbing from you by not considering that. In my opinion, a judge should not be allowed to rule on finance matters unless they have relevant credentials which prove they understand the field.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:17 PM
2

It is pretty sweet. I basically make more money by only paying off the minimum due and instead saving that cash in a HYSA or CD that yields 5% in interest.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:32 PM
4

Lawyer up buddy and have all your recording devices handy and ready for use. You beed to prove she is acting on bad faith, gaming the system and threatening you with false accusations. Start building your case.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 10:22 PM
2

Bc that’s all she would get if we sold either way. So I gave her 2 options: Scorch Earth and burn every penny of both our savings in court through lawyers. Take advanced cash representing her projected half of the net proceeds post sale. She knew I wasn’t bluffing. Im not selling, so why should I absorb her closing cost by giving her gross equity? That would put me at a loss if I ever decided to sell. Hell no!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:28 PM
2

I agree with that, they seem to feed off your misery, so the best revenge is to succeed and give them little importance in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:42 PM
2

Roger that!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:40 PM
2

Thanks man!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:39 PM
2

Invest in yourself. Seriously commit to a weekly workout routine. Eat healthy Adopt cool hobbies ( I started riding motorcycles) Refresh your wardrobe Practice makes perfect. Put yourself out there and keep trying until you get results. You will be rejected and fail a few times until you get the hang of it. Your take on dating and women will also evolve as you go through these steps and find a rhythm.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:35 PM
2

I get that, but I would focus on the long game a try to make up for it after the dust settles.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 12:37 AM
1

He may have to quit or take a leave. Does the US really waste resources on international extradition due to alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 04:55 PM
1

If you’re not making income and you’re not in the country what can the courts do?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 12:42 AM
14

Move for 6 months to a year to another country and negotiate with her while she doesn’t get diddly-squat.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:11 PM
3

Is it better at this point to say “fuck it”, quit and declare chapter 7? Threatening with that might make her be more open to negotiation. I am not a lawyer but would look into this option with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:08 PM
2

Thanks bro
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 02:34 PM
1

Glad to see you’re doing well man. Keep it up! You’re probably moving on faster than I could.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:13 PM
1

I feel you man. Idk what’s wrong with some of these women. It’s as if they get brainwashed or possessed and only snap out of it when things don’t end up so rosey for them. My ex also seemed fine and all the sudden she went crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:04 PM
2

You don’t ask that off the bat though lol. That topic may come after a few in-person meets. Red flags will eventually surface on their own, just don’t commit too much too early and keep a keen eye on her behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 11:27 AM
3

I’d say no. Keeping the marriage healthy takes work. If no irreparable damage has been done to each other then get to work and make positive changes/plans. I hate that in today’s world, our vows hold no value, that we rather just dump our SO and Marriage if it means we have to put in an effort and endure momentary hardship.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 03:48 AM
3

You’re still in the early stages. All I could do in those times is survive. Reaching out to people, friends and family helped a lot. People that don’t mind speaking with you for hours. It’s not easy accepting that she is gone. It’s not that different from someone close to you dying. Keep yourself busy. Exercise, cooking, hobbies, taking care of your pet, it all helps. Months later you’ll still hurt but the intensity will lower. The more proactive you are about moving on, the better your healing …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 12:03 AM
4

Thanks man!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 11:29 PM
2

In my vehicle’s mid console whispering to me, longing for it’s birth place at the gates of Mordor. I dare not touch it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 02:01 AM
2

Do you have that statement on record? (E.g. text, voice, etc). These type of court manipulation pisses of the judge, especially if there is evidence of it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 02:56 PM
1

Hey man, I’m in a similar circumstance. I’ll be eligible to file within a month. All I can say is that these thoughts are a worthless exercise. You don’t have a choice. She has made up her mind and you must do your best to move on and be better off without her. Many people will say it’s too early to focus on other women, but I must say it has helped me gain some confidence and verify that she is not the last coke in the dessert. As time goes by she does seem less special. Especially after workin…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 07:40 PM
5

Just tread carefully and don’t let the love goggles deter you from protecting your assets before hand. I am separated, about to be divorced but I can see myself remarrying at some point. I’m in my mid-late 30s with no kids so have an itch to start a family. Just have to be really careful who I pick and make sure my home does not become a marital asset in the future. Be weary of women that want their cake and eat it too. They alternate from feminist to traditional when it suits them and see thems…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:11 PM
1

I suspected it when she started fighting over each dollar I spent and would venmo request me differences as small as 1$ in checks/bills, including dinners and recreational activities. In other words she got hyper petty even though we were both high earners with a good chunk of savings and no debts with exception of an awesome mortgage I got us. I also saw traces of resentment, anger issues and hate in her behavior even though I was a key factor in her career success and helped her a lot with her…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 03:40 PM
1

Everything is in place right now. We’re physically separated and have signed separation agreements. Just have to wait until enough time has passed to be eligible to file.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 12:35 PM
2

Of course. It was the first thing I did when I found out she retained one. Honestly though, had I listened to my lawyer’s initial advice, I would have sold the house instead fighting to keep it. Honestly, things I pushed back against worked in my favor to my lawyer’s surprise.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:29 AM
3

I fully agree. This is one of the biggest takes from this sad and painful experience. I just wanted to help out both our families but it ended up hurting mine. So fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:41 PM
1

No kids which helped
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:24 PM
2

Loving the positive vibes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:33 PM
2

That’s terrible, I’m sorry. I hope you get a favorable ruling.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 08:34 PM
1

And here I thought I was a catch. I wonder what is her idea of a partner upgrade. Either way, if this is her mindset, she is useless as a partner (to anyone) and I am better off looking for someone without that crazy chip. Seriously though, I checked all the boxes for financial and emotional stability, and I know she was physically attracted to me. So it just makes me wonder wtf. Something or someone fucked with her head.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:49 AM
1

Sorry that happened to you. In a way though, it’s good you saw this after 1 month. Was the divorce swift?
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:33 AM
1

You may be right about her. Though I haven’t been able to find obvious signs. She is a paranoid person and may cover her tracks well. Many times I’ve seen women downgrade though. If they’re looking for better, I wonder what better means to them. I’d hate to think that all women fall under this category though. There has to be a good chunk out with better judgement and some form of moral standing right? You say “these days” which tells me this is something that is a new trend that has been accept…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 06:04 PM
1

I’m going for the first option. I really worked hard to get to this point and don’t want to give it up just bc she feels entitled to it. Especially when she is the one breaking up the home.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 05:40 PM
2

Thanks man. Your experience helps me feel a bit more optimistic about the future. Can’t wait to get out of this fog.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:52 PM
3

This really resonates with me. It makes sense that there is no logic behind her actions bc her goal is to just get her way through toxic behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 04:53 AM
3

Sound advice, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 04:42 AM
1

That seems to be the case now a days. Late 20s and up seems to be a more suitable age to take someone seriously. Though some people may take even longer to mature enough to be taken seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:45 AM
3

Maybe the legal ties need to be reformed to help prevent this type of scenarios. Marriage laws are a bit antiquated and don’t know if it’s just me, but people seem more self centered and less family oriented these days. They only decide to turn a new leaf when it’s too late. Sorry about what happened to you man. People also forget men can be victims too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:35 AM
1

Hey man, thanks. It’s not the visa since she was sponsored by a relative of hers and don’t believe she had to “tolerate” the age gap. Although it’s noticeable I don’t think it’s off the charts and I take care of myself enough that women in that age group are not out of range. Usually people think we’re around the same age. I do think I served a useful purpose to her which expired. Like I said, I did support her emotional needs and financial and professional growth. Maybe she reached a point wher…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:04 AM
30

It’ll be me and my doggo
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 12:20 PM
6

I’d say avoid it. Women like that can really disrupt your healing. I would actually go more for the chill personality that doesn’t seek too much attention in social media type of girl. Even then, it’s probably best to have them as friends only until you feel more stable. I’m learning that you must avoid women hungry for attention for a number of reasons I would rather not spend time listing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 09:14 PM
2

Yep, seeing a trend
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 11:38 PM
3

She refuses to talk to me without a lawyer or mediator. I think her friends are advising her to be overly cautious and defensive . Making her own judgement calls was never her string suit and she tends to be paranoid.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 10:52 PM
2

Honestly, it’s such a consistent response. An ex of mine did the same thing. I really need to record her crazy side. She’s good at hiding it in front of other people.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:30 AM
2

Lesson learned
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:27 AM
2

I am grateful for that. We were going to try this year too
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:26 AM
1

Thanks for all the tips. Biggest one for me is the recorder. Got one in my pocket full time now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:24 AM
1

In theory it should be a clear cut case. 5 yrs married, No kids, we’re both earners with the house being the only shared asset.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 04:38 PM
3

No kids, just a share house which I hate losing in today’s market. We had a really great rate on it too.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 02:31 PM
1

We’ve already separated most of our finances at this point with the exception of the account we use to pay mortgage and utilities.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 02:30 PM
3

I hope you’re right. I can’t sustain this daily routine.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 02:29 PM
1

We’ve both consulted and were planning on getting a mediator but not sure if that is a viable option anymore given her recent behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 01:56 PM
3

The “she’s not happy” statement sounds all too familiar. I’m currently going through initial phases and this is her tale as well. I don’t now if it’s the case with your ex-wife, but with my STBXW I see that as a sign of entitlement, a sign that she takes me and what we have for granted. We were truly blessed, but I guess the grass seems greener on the other side. Lets see how true that is. This burden is not solely yours to carry, it is also hers. She is the one leaving, not you. You made a grea…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 02:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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