So it's been almost 8 months now since we separated. What a crazy, hellish and traumatic journey this has been. My STBXW moved out of the house in May. During the time she and her mother resided in the house, while we were separated, she made it her mission to destroy me. She chipped away at me through false accusations, gaslighting, mistreating and humiliating me. She allowed her friends and family, especially her snake of a mother, to take stabs at me, to threaten me in my own home. Her so-called friends and family encouraged her to call the cops on me with fake accusations of violence and harassment. She nearly succeeded, I contemplated my existence, I lost the will to live for a while. My daily morning routine was a healthy dosage of anxiety with chest pains and an aching heart which brought me to the floor paralized.

This was the woman I loved, the woman I pledged to protect, the person I thought would always have my back. I could not picture a life without her. We had everything a couple could ask for, we were a handsome and young professional couple with great potential. She threw it all away for the unknown, because of what society dangled in front of her, because her mother hates men after she was abandoned by her former husband, and because her jealous and ignorant friends encouraged her.

With my family's support, I gathered enough inner-strength to fight for my own interest. I managed to keep the house I poured my sweat and tears into purchasing and maintaining. I managed to convince her to move out. It broke me to see her leave, but she was no longer the woman I remembered. Just some dark shadow that did not care what happened to me as long as she got her money and the better end of the deal. She was so petty and competitive, despite me being the one that supported her in her career and academics. Despite me being the one that supported her in bringing that snake she calls her mother to our home. When she left, I felt like an abandoned child, I did not know where to begin.

I started working on my health, exercising, and eating better. I had lost 25 lbs because of my depression and anxiety. I couldn't eat; my body had given up on me and wanted nothing to do with this life. Eventually, I mustered enough willpower to start working on gaining some muscle and confidence back. I focused more on my job as well. And yes, I also started dating. I didn't give a fuck about what people said regarding waiting untill after I healed before dating. I needed to get her off my mind, I needed the confidence boost, and who knows! I may find someone worth my while. Truth is, I haven't found someone I care to start a new relationship with, but going out with women that have enjoyed my company felt good and boosted my confidence. Some of these women I dare say were more attractive than my STBXW, whom I unavoidably compare them to.

I know what I bring to the table. I am a high earner, still young, easy on the eyes, no kids and in good shape. I like to believe my heart is in the right place even though I am not perfect and have my flaws. I can say that I am continuously working on myself. Trying to learn more about my shortcomings and what I need to change to become not just a better partner but also a better person all together. I won't be anybody's simp but you bet I will care and commit if she's worth it. It's crazy to see how superficial the dating world has become and how people set such high standards when they offer so little in return. Having said that, I would like to be a family man some day and for that reason I will not give up on women and will consider marrying again if the right person comes along.

Although my wounds are still healing, I realize I am better off than many of the people that have shared their testimony in this sub. I may still be in pain but I am grateful that I have my house, my dog, my job (with an incoming promotion), my health, my youth, my car, my motorcycle, and my family. I am grateful I don't owe anyone child support or alimony. No debts other than the mortgage. You could say I came out of this nightmare whole. Sure, I lost a not insignificant amount of cash when she took half of the savings and when I bought her half of the home equity, not to mention paying the lawyers. However, I will recover from that, and there is no longer people in my house that will hurt me, belittle me or cause me injury. It's just me and my doggo. I hope I have learned my lesson and choose a better partner next time. To all of those men going through the initial phases and hardship of divorce, hang in there! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I haven't reached the end, but I do see some light ahead of me.