Divorce question

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-08-19T21:58:03+00:00

Divorce out of Boredom would be like starting Nuclear War because the TV program sucks…

The Damage is off the scale.

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-08-19T22:38:58+00:00

Common thread in any marriage of significant years is a period of boredom/disconnect. A lot is due to a failure in communications, parenting obligations, and work conflicts. No where did you mention not still being in love. Maybe counseling, some intimate talks, date nights, and private holidays can reignite things, but boredom ain’t much to disband over.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-08-20T00:21:24+00:00

Was this a religious marriage, do you and your spouse believe in God?

If so, marriage is not just a piece of paper, it is a spiritual bond. Give your marriage 100 percent effort, work on it. I gave everything to make my marriage work until the 3rd affair and so many substance abuse issues.

Being bored as justification for tossing a marriage is loser.

ProcedureAltruistic3 · 2023-08-20T00:08:46+00:00

I'd give anything to be bored and still together. It's like I tell my kids, some day you'll wish to hell you were bored again, better than most alternatives. Believe me, you don't want what I've got instead of boredom

Gattsama · 2023-08-19T22:59:05+00:00

You are free to make your own choices in life, so it's up to you. But with no insult intended, only boring people get bored. Have you talked to her, and I mean really sat down and with full open, honest, vulnerable communication made know what your concerns & issues are; as well as; an outline of things you want to request to change things for the better.

If she and the situation are both workable, it's good to exhaust all avenues prior to considering termination. There are three entities in the marriage: me, you and us. You fully control one of them, and influence the other. Make a list of everything that doesn't work and what you want your life to be like. Take it to your partner and see how they respond. Again, if they are workable / agreeable; interventions to improve things should be possible.

IAIM2023 · 2023-08-20T03:48:30+00:00

I’d say no. Keeping the marriage healthy takes work. If no irreparable damage has been done to each other then get to work and make positive changes/plans. I hate that in today’s world, our vows hold no value, that we rather just dump our SO and Marriage if it means we have to put in an effort and endure momentary hardship.

yods35 · 2023-08-20T00:58:48+00:00

I think the connection is the problem, not the boredom. If it’s just boredom then it’s on you to fix it. That’s not her fault or her problem. Get a hobby and some friends, not divorce. But if the love/connection isn’t there you either try to fix it or figure out how to move on.

Theedon · 2023-08-20T01:49:19+00:00

Just don't get into another boring relationship.

croixploy · 2023-08-20T14:40:12+00:00

These responses are brutal. I eagerly clicked on this post because I came to this thread to post the same question. The OP was short and vague, but perhaps our situations are the same.

Seduce her? Unseducable, at least by me. Date her? Let’s talk about work and drive home in silence. Get a hobby? I have plenty. Get friends? I have plenty. I don’t need to kill time, I need my partner to live up to the agreement that we made that we would always try and stimulate each other. I very truly empathize with the guy that said you’d rather be bored than have what I have, but man oh man the woman who always promised she was nothing like her mom — tv junky, grumpy, gaining weight, rude to her husband — is turning into her mom!

Someone out there had to bail for these reasons, and was better for it?!

We’re mid-40s and have a rockstar 13yo son, if that helps fill things in.

captainchippsixx · 2023-08-19T23:07:05+00:00

Pretty ambiguous. But you don’t stay for kids. It’s better to have 2 happy homes than none.

iSurvivedltd · 2023-08-19T23:09:27+00:00

Leave. Staying together for the kids will only cause resentment……….kids resenting parents.

polarshred · 2023-08-20T01:19:14+00:00

Why don't you be less boring? Do you date your wife like you used to? My guess is no. Get some game and seduce her.

Reasonable-Desk-8508 · 2023-08-20T19:52:31+00:00

Sure I mean your vows never meant anything anyway it seems. Ass hole.

Creative-Drop1816 · 2023-08-20T23:15:50+00:00

No, not a good reason. Stick with it, nothing wrong with being bored. Find some hobbies, maybe find some that you can do together. Life has ups and downs man, the key is staying on the ride and enjoy it together. Celebrate her accomplishments and she will be your cheerleader again. Be her rock and she will repay your stoicism with compassion and feminen charm. You both have to try and be present in each other's lives. Spark is not something that happens unconsciously, it is both parties being fully invested in the each other. It's not rocket science. Be okay with being bored and in the mean time work on you until you see an opportunity to connect with her again.

Ps If you guys aren't talking about the faults happening or addressing issues of not communicating that would probably be an excellent place to start. Figure out why it's hard to communicate and maybe things will click again.

Good luck my guy

Title	Divorce question
Author	timthompson183
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	August 19, 2023 9:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15vs9jq/divorce_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-question.1229067 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229067

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