TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

polarshred Archive

View 4 posts and 202 comments by polarshred on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

When I started this diet I didn't really know what to eat and lost a bunch of weight in the first 2 months. Now I got it down and basically eat as much as I want. My breakfast is 6 eggs, bacon, coffee. Lunch: 180g beef, 180g, pork, 200g, chicken. Dinner: steak and vegetables or I'll eat out somewhere. I also have some coconut oil and extra virgin olive oil throughout the day and maybe some 99% cacao dark chocolote and some blue berries. If I get hungry at night I eat more eggs. Now I am gaining …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/24 06:15 AM
1

If I was eating that much processed food and sugar in the protein powder and bars I would feel like shit. People tolerate that stuff better than others but I prefer to eat more beef and eggs to hit my protein numbers. Makes my life way better.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/24 02:06 AM
0

Anxiety could be diet related. I recently switched to a keto diet and it dramatically improved my mental health. Maybe something you are eating is fucking you up
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/24 12:02 AM
1

What is DEERing?
/r/askMRP05/09/24 01:19 AM
1

Check out Coach Corey Wayne - 3% Man . Also, you need to be ok with not draining your nut. Listen to Bliss of the Celibate audiobook on YouTube. Her pussy holds so much power over you. You gotta learn to be ok with yourself without sex.
/r/askMRP04/09/24 10:18 PM
17

Girl should be coming into your world not the other way around
/r/askMRP31/08/24 02:40 PM
0

I'm new here. What is a MAP?
/r/askMRP30/08/24 01:38 AM
3

Awesome post man. You're post divorce life will be amazing
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/24 03:13 AM
1

This is a beautiful post. Women always gotta know we can walk at any time.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/24 02:39 PM
2

Been there. I spent 3 months sleep on the floor and crying like a b*tch. The one thing that really got me out of it was nofap. Try it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 03:26 AM
12

We all must learn the hard way that "giving" to women never increases attraction. She must invest in you to fall in love.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 03:24 AM
1

Doesn't matter if she's cheating. This behavior is brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 08:18 AM
1

Good advice. He should also consider coach Corey Wayne for when he is ready to start trying to rebuild. Married for that long he probably doesn't know the basics of dating anymore. He will need those whether it is to start to court his wife again or after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 12:31 AM
0

Why don't you be less boring? Do you date your wife like you used to? My guess is no. Get some game and seduce her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 01:19 AM
2

It took me about 3 months to start feeling better again. I cried like a bitch my fair share of times. But the benefit coming out the other end is you'll be a much harder man with thicker armour and a little healthy aggression
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:29 AM
2

Just don't look for another woman to fill that void
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:27 AM
2

I did this too. Very effective
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:26 AM
1

I think both porn and social media play a huge roll. Porn fucks with men's brains, social media fucks with women
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 05:54 AM
2

I wasn't spending a lot of money on my wife but I started earning waay more after she left. I associate that with having peace of mind and less distractions
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 05:34 AM
10

But the reality is that's what turns them off. They think they want you to act like they are better than you but the guy that actually makes them wet acts like he is better than them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 01:46 PM
2

Inspiring story. Hell yeah!
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 09:12 AM
10

Expecting something from your child in return for raising them is like some wack ancient Chinese Confucionist bullshit. Let that thought go. You raised the girl for her benefit not for yours.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 06:56 AM
3

Stay present. Don't get to far ahead of yourself
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:33 AM
1

Nice
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 10:22 AM
5

Classic gaslighting
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 11:41 AM
2

I think Jake Woodard has some good points. Check his Instagram and podcast
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 09:16 AM
1

I got into muay thai after my divorce. Love it
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 06:41 AM
3

Heart breaking... Damn
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 06:40 AM
2

Be lonely. Cry it out. This will make you stronger in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 06:36 AM
2

This
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 06:38 AM
6

Girls always say the dude is "trash"
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 06:01 AM
2

Definitely don't fo it. Whenever you get the urge do something for yourself instead. Read a book, etc
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:16 AM
2

I did that too man. I cried like a bitch for about 2-3 months. Barely handled my responsibilities. I simplified, abd set my only goal to show up to work on time. After about about 3 months the fog lifted, I pulled myself together, focused on doing the right things for me and I realized life was better on my own. Now 10 months later, I've had more success at my business, earned more money, connected with more friends, read way more books, learned a foreign language, all areas improved now that my…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:15 AM
1

Also, unfollow on all social media accounts
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:43 AM
2

This whole thing will give you mad motivation. You'll be slaying those quotas soon enough
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:38 AM
1

This dude, her coworker, sounds like a scumbag
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:33 AM
2

This is how it goes. Women seem to bounce back immediately. For men, it takes longer but we tend to come back stronger in the long run. You'll suffer for the next few momths, maybe a year but if you take care of yourself you'll come out of this much stronger. And ffs you're not depressed. You were in a shitty relationship and going through a divorce. You're supposed to feel bad. Your supposed to feel terrible, but the suffering is where you reap the benefits. Feel the pain, feel all of it, be pr…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:31 AM
2

I found after I quit porn and masturbating I gained so much more control. Gaining power over my own urges made it much easier to walk away from women if I needed to
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:17 AM
2

Sex is waaaay better after divorce. Not just the girls. I'm not sure why but i perform way better. Unlimited endurance and I can go more times.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:56 AM
6

I had a similar experience
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 03:35 AM
1

You said "I don't have anyone". This is a huge problem. Fix your Life. Situation with her, although painful, doesn't really matter. You gotta build your life up. Make friends, have hobbies, take care of yourself. You said you are "willing to work". Work on yourself. Not trying to be harsh just speaking from experience.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 01:25 AM
4

It's not this. It's simply when a woman loses attraction she reframes the entire thing as bad. This is normal female behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 01:18 AM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:27 AM
0

She sounds hot. Definitely get back together
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 12:16 PM
1

You need to learn more about female nature. Of course she said this stuff. When a woman loses attraction for a guy she becomes disgusted by him and paints the whole history in a negative light. Women are women
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 08:00 AM
2

Yup. I use anki. I make my own Chinese flashcards for words and phrases I'm interested in. Lots of cursing in my deck haha
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 08:53 AM
2

Language learning can be fun, addicting, and makes you smarter. I've been learning Chinese these past 5 years for fun. I study about 20 minutes each day. I love it. You can pick any language doesn't have to be practical. Once you start just the process it's brings fulfilment. Another one could be listening to classical music or jazz
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 10:06 AM
9

Don't let her make you think you were fucking this up for years. When a woman loses attraction she will paint everything in hindsight negatively. That's just her perception. I'm sure you did fine. Take time to get yourself together. Your life will soon be much better than it ever was with her. Trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 01:43 AM
1

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 05:45 AM
6

You're only a few weeks into retirement. This is a huuuge life change. Of course it's going to be difficult. I would get settled and adapted to my new lifestyle before I start thinking of such a drastic move. Meanwhile, what are you doing for yourself? Are you getting out if the house and doing things you enjoy? Are you making the most out if your retirement already?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:45 PM
2

All that said the basic reason is that jerking off numbs the pain of divorce. Just like alcohol and other drugs. When going through divorce you don't want to numb the pain at all. You need to experience it. This is life at full force. Take it in, learn, and become stronger. The more you can embrace the pain the quicker you can get over it (this concept is validated by Dr. Andrew Huberman's work). ​ Or hide from the pain, play with your little peepee, and learn nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 05:32 AM
2

Welp, I was at rock bottom. Split with my now ex. Basically spent over two months depressed as fuck. Barely getting out of bed. I was trying whatever I could to get out of the slump. All the standard shit. Hit the gym, stop drinking, hang out with friends. I was trying all that but the one thing that really turned it around for me was cutting out porn and masturbation. About 5 days after that the lights came back on and I haven't looked back since. It's been 4 months. If you're lying around in b…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:50 AM
6

Avoid alcohol. Stop jerking off. Hang with friends. Conversely, do something by yourself (outdoorsy shit, hiking etc)
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 09:52 AM
6

Triple that. You think she wouldn't call it on you?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 07:27 AM
5

Sounds like your emotions are lying to you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 01:53 AM
7

Doubt it. Everyone says that about their ex. Male or female. You're probably just witnessing human nature in it's raw form. All of us here have been through this. Loving partner all the sudden punishing us for no reason. My wife tried to have me deported. This shit is normal. Senseless. But normal.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 06:00 AM
2

Because humans are supposed to move our bodies. Regular life nowadays is so easy for most and that simply isn't healthy. We can simulate a lifestyle that is more natural for a human by going to the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 05:04 AM
4

"no you cannot come"
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 04:14 AM
3

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 04:14 AM
1

Stop jerking off. Seriously. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:24 PM
3

The speed at which she moves on has nothing to do with you. Women always move on fast. They recover much faster from breakups than men. You'll come put on top in the long run if you prioritize yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:08 AM
1

I have made a bunch of new friends and reconnected with many old friends since my divorce. Sure, it might be less practical to make friends with married guys but there are tons of cool folks out there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:57 AM
1

That's right but in the end they will respect a man if he handles himself well in adversity.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:53 AM
1

Good luck man 💪
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 01:12 PM
3

Took my 12 weeks to start getting out of bed. Things that helped: no porn, no alcohol. When I stopped jerking off I started feeling better
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 01:11 PM
2

Also realize folks will go to the aid of tge women initially. People will want to protect her. They will believe her first. Realize people aren't stupid they'll see what's right in the end. And those who stick with her despite the obvious aren't your friends anyways. I lost 3 good friends over my divorce because they were white knights for her. But I don't care because everyone else has my back.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 01:10 PM
1

This is normal man. My wife did it to me. We are professional musicians and she was going around trashing my name on the microphone at her gigs. Everyone in our community was talking about. I just laid low for about 3 months and did my own thing. Finally when I went out again I discovered that nobody actually cares. A friend gave me the following advice "just take the 'L' and people will respect you for how you handle it". This was absolutely true. Hang in there. Weather the storm. Your social l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 01:07 PM
9

Get a different roommate for the love of god. This sounds like hell. Ypu don't need medication for "depression" you need another roommate. When I got divorced I moved into a shitty old house with a couple guys. Best decision I ever made. Your ex is literally incapable of empathizing with you but a couple dude roommates will totally understand your strife. Side note: fuck your ex for doing this bullshit in front of you like that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 04:04 PM
6

Man, I've been there. When my separation started I was binging porn and may or may not have paid for the real think once. Eventually I go myself together and honestly this is one of the best gains from divorce. I quit porn after more than 20 years of daily use, quit jerking off altogether, unfollowed all sexy shit from Instagram. I took control of my sexual urges and my life go so much better. It's been three months now. My libido is sky high but it's under my control. Feeling that urge and not …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 12:41 PM
2

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 05:17 AM
3

Only if you're 100% sure it's going to happen. My ex wife's parents would tell her once a year for our whole 7 year relationship. My wife was in her twenties ane thirties and it still fucked her up to hear about their bullshit. After watching her hurt so many times from that I would recommend you not tell your kids until it is already in process. It's gonna hurt them no matter what but it'll hurt them more if they are exposed to any of the back and forth between you and your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 05:43 AM
1

Good point
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 04:42 AM
2

I started reading it on the recommendation of this sub. I was reading it thinking "what the fuck is this shit? This doesn't apply to me" then about 80 pages in it hit me... Great book
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 04:38 AM
2

During the sad times I listened to Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan The rest of the time I listened to hip hop. "Fuck You" 50 Cent "Thug Luv" Tupac "Obnoxious" immortal technique "Favorite Song" chance the rapper
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 11:44 AM
2

Good luck man
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 09:01 PM
1

Have you checked out the YouTube channel Alpha Male Strategies? That dude advocates keeping a rotation rather than committing to one woman. With this approach you wouldn't need to worry about falling into old ways.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 07:34 PM
1

How long ago was your divorce finalized?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:36 PM
1

My libido is tell me to date but I still have lingering resentment towards women in general. But my divorce was only finalized a few weeks. I'm gonna take the standard advice of this sub and take a year for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 03:51 AM
1

Sounds like Taiwan
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 05:10 AM
1

1) fuck love. Forget about that shit for now. 2) stop watching porn, masturbating, and drinking alcohol. Be alone with yourself. You'll come around brother. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 02:47 AM
2

Also an excitement about future possibilities. This might be intermittent and contrasting the daunting reality of just how long this journey may be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 12:39 AM
1

Reach out to your old friends. Call em up. I'm sure they'd be glad to reconnect
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 10:51 AM
1

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 05:38 AM
1

6 weeks is no time. I didn't start to feel even remotely better until about 11 weeks. Now after 5 months I'm still reminding myself that this journey is gonna be a long one. You gotta be patient. Forget meeting other people. Take care of yourself brother. Gym No alcohol Hobbies Read books Connect with old friends Go for walks Cold showers No porn Take in your pain now. Process it now. You'll bounce back quicker than if you numb the pain with alcohol, porn, drugs, or even other women.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 05:32 AM
1

Well said. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:09 AM
15

Mine was so out of the blue that I can't think of anything. All I know is it's the man's responsibility to maintain his attractiveness, maintain a masculine frame/polarity. Not just physical attractiveness but also in behavior. This is hard to do over the long term. If she feels you are slipping or she has percieved higher value than you she will start moving towards divorce. As I reflect on my own marriage I realise that I was failing on many of those fronts. Divorce is an opportunity for me to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 05:15 AM
1

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 02:50 AM
1

It's absolutely insane she would confront you about sleeping with another woman. You've been divorced a year. Bang whomever you want dude. Jesus. "Let her go but don't leave her" Translation: I want you around for your resources but I don't actually want you. That is some fucking bullshit. This bitch cheated on you in your marriage brother. Get her the fuq out of your life. "I didn't listen to her needs" bro stop telling yourself this. This is some bullshit SHE is telling you. This is not what a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 02:47 AM
2

Good luck man
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:14 AM
2

I've moved twice in my life Canada > US the US > Taiwan. Being forced to figure shit out in another country have been immensely valuable experiences. You are forced to build a new social circle and new career. Both moves were extremely challenging and it took years to adapt to the new environments but I grew in ways that I wouldn't have at home. The biggest benefit is not being able to rely on friends and family. You need to create win/win relationships with new people. This year when my ex trie…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 02:35 AM
1

That doesn't mean his argument is bad
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 02:21 AM
6

This post sounds like you're expecting another woman to make you feel better. If you go into a relationship from this point you're gonna be fucked. Get right with yourself first
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 10:34 AM
3

Andrew Tate makes a strong argument for this. When I got separated 5 months ago I moved in with another musician. We push each other to practice more and grow our careers. We're both into fitness and push each other there. He is also a gangster with women. A total natural who can hold a strong frame with extremely hot women. I learn a lot from him in that department. Iron sharpe iron. As long as I have a big enough room on the opposite side of the house I could continue with this arrangement for…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 10:25 AM
2

I feel the same way
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 02:48 PM
2

Totally agree
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 02:38 PM
3

Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 02:37 PM
1

It sounds like part of your problem is simply managing all the shit you gotta do. Check out the book "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. The material in that book might help take the pressure off balancing school, work, divorce etc. Good luck. Also The Stoic Challenge is an easy read that helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 04:44 AM
1

Don't try to block out those feelings. Take it all. Let yourself experience these emotions. You will recover quicker if you allow yourself to feel it fully. I started to come back back online after about 10 weeks of separation. Oh and the less you contact with your stbx the better you will be. Unfollow all social media.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 06:37 AM
1

Dday, your comments on this sub have been extremely helpful to me as I navigate this divorce. Thank you for your service.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 01:07 AM
1

That's so unhealthy. Sleep in another room bro
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:38 AM
3

Bahahahah nice
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 05:02 AM
2

Brutal. Sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 03:18 PM
6

This 100% . You gotta Save yourself now... And stay off the dating apps for fuck sakes. If you meet a girl in your current state you won't build the right kind of relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 03:17 PM
1

This is brutal. Sorry brother. I'd stay as far away from her as I can. Find excuses to be away from the house. Hang out with buddies, gym, hikes, whatever. Thid little "affection" sounds toxic. It will only soften you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:04 AM
5

I won't remove anything. The past was the past. No sense hiding it
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 06:01 AM
3

The only option is to get her out of your life as soon as possible
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 05:10 AM
1

Haha this sounds like the episode of King of the Hill where Boomhauer teaches Bobby about women. I like it!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:31 AM
14

I know this sounds cruel but you can't worry about her financial well being. She's leaving you man. This is her responsibility you gotta protect yourself. Gym Get a therapist for yourself reach out to your male friends for support. What you're experiencing is brutal but not abnormal. You will get through it
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:16 PM
9

My wife did that but the "friends" were guys in our industry and one of my close friends. Makes my blood boil everytime I think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:35 AM
9

Move. A westernized Cambodian dude could probably clean up in many parts of asia
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 06:42 AM
2

I'm a freelancer too. You need to protect your social life at all costs. Your network is the most important thing. Do not let any woman bully you out of that or your business will be fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 06:01 AM
2

That's a beautiful thing. You can still try new things and reinvent yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:07 PM
16

Divorce is getting stronger both mentally and physically divorce is gained wisdom and experiences divorce is a new adventure divorce is fresh pussy divorce is an opportunity to show your strength divorce is a new relationship with your family divorce is finding out who you're REAL friends are (and ditching the others). divorce is reconnecting with your community. divorce is life. Feeling harsh emotions is part of living. And opportunity to have a human experience. divorce is getting back up, dus…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:56 AM
1

These tough times are an opportunity to grow. Imagine the person you will be once you get through this (and you will get through this). You will be tougher, wiser, more resilient, and more apprective of the life you have. Soon You'll be able to share these good qualities to the benefit of those around you. Sometime you'll look back and say these struggles were the best thing that ever happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:03 AM
2

Read the book "The Stoic Challenge" by William B. Irvine
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 01:38 AM
1

Try stopping porn and masturbation. This helped me those most in getting out of my rut after my wife and I separated
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 10:39 AM
6

Dude, fuck reconciliation. Do that in like 10 years. Take care of your damned self. "She says she wants me in her life" she wants you to be a cuck. Fuck that. Block her on social media. Avoid her like the plague. If she stays in your life she'll turn you into a bitch. Lift heavy weights. Hang with your buddies. Hit on new girls. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 01:36 PM
6

Not necessarily. Bipolar cycles are long things that can last months. Usually elevated mood for several weeks followed by mania or hypomania for several weeks, then weeks or months of depression, then finally a period of normalcy that could last months or longer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 04:22 AM
1

Read books pick up a new hobby learn a language (start with duolingo) think about any area of yourself you want to improve and start doing. Be bored. Boredom is your friend. Creativity starts from boredom.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:25 AM
2

Amazing response. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:11 AM
3

I'll love my stbx forever but she innitated divorce and her behavior in the process made it so that I will never reconcile.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:07 AM
1

Dude, the guy who I thought was my best friend did the same to me. He was "there for her" while lying and saying he had my back. I opened up to him and he betrayed me. Total and complete betrayal. It's so painful. The worst part is you feel totally helpless. Nothing you can do but cut them both out. Fucking brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:26 AM
2

Thanks for the reminder
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 01:38 PM
7

"gut feeling..." Dude, go to a doctor.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 10:42 PM
2

I feel you. Try thinking about it like this... Whenever you get an urge and don't act on it you gain power. You gain power over yourself, your world, your circumstances. You gain self control. You are the boss of yourself not your urges. If you can think of it like this eventually you will enjoy everytime you have an urge because it will be an opportunity for you to show your strength.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 05:30 PM
2

I feel ya man
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 05:26 PM
2

Stop jerking off. I was completely fucked emotionally when my wife left me but a few months later I stopped jerking it. Withing a week a started getting much better. Trust me it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 03:59 PM
5

Yeah man. Seems like a normal thing women do. Epic reframe.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 11:57 AM
7

Yeah, women reframe the past and paint everything in a negative light. My stbx told me that everything was wrong for the entire 7 years we were together lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 07:12 AM
3

An author. Your post tells me you really need to read his books. I think it will clarify things for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 07:09 AM
2

Rollo Tomassi
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 01:24 AM
10

This post is not helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 10:51 AM
9

Also 34. It sucks. I feel ya man
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 10:50 AM
3

I was sickened by those messages despite my longing for them I didn't not answer. They were for her not me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 05:48 AM
1

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 05:47 AM
3

Whenever you're on the receiving end of a divorce it feels sudden, undeserving and cruel. This is just the way it is. Nothing to do with how good or how long your relationship was.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 05:46 AM
1

Nice. Stick to it. I'm reading The Stoic Challenge by William Irvine right now. This book is helping me stay in check when I have to interact with my stbx.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 02:33 AM
1

Stop watching porn too. Reading books like Rational Male combined with stopping porn brought me back online in a few days after months of wallowing like a bitch
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:43 PM
1

Stay strong. Don't react to them. Take the high road. People will respect you for stay cool in this situation and you will respect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:43 PM
2

I moved to a foreign (her) country with my wife and now, as we go through the divorce process she has been trying to get me kicked out of the country after I spent two years building my career here. This is a terrifying situation but I have learned that I can grow from it. Whenever she makes a move to try and sabotage me I think to myself "this is my chance to be hard". Like a mantra. By "hard" I mean strong and unreactive. By staying on my path and not being reactive to her I gain strength and …
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:26 AM
2

Sorry man. Check out that book. It'll help
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:37 AM
2

Read The Stoic Challenge by William B. Irvine
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:31 AM
2

Man, women can be so fucking cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:04 AM
0

In her eyes they were. Absolutely
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 06:47 AM
1

Take the L. People in your life will respect you for holding it together despite the shit you're going through.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 03:40 AM
1

How old is she?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:54 PM
1

Great ideas. I've recently picked up tennis. Gotta go play more
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 12:53 PM
1

Shit. It's amateur hour over here. I thought of the clever comment after the "yup" post but it should only have happened once. Anyways.. please ignore
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 09:25 AM
4

As if she'd be incapable of love with Jason Mamoa
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:29 AM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:29 AM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:21 AM
1

Good point man. This post was spured by me mentioning it to a friend/colleague whom I respect and him showing he really didn't want to talk about it. I gotta not take that personally and just find a couple people who want to talk rather than expecting it from more folks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:10 AM
2

Wow grrat advice. Another friend put it this way "take the L. People will respect how you handle it". I can attest to this being true. I went to the club where everyone in our industry/network hangs out the other day. Most folks down there only know her narrative. I was nervous that I would be judged. I rolled up, didn't say shit about it, had fun. Nobody cared. It was great.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:07 AM
2

Good idea. Make new shit 5o 5alk about
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:01 AM
1

Hmm good point man
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:00 AM
2

I'm in Taiwan. I was able to find a community clinic where counselors will work for free as they wait for their american college credentials to transfer over here. This takes a year for them so basically I can get free counseling from my current guy for 1 year. Pretty sick deal
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:56 PM
3

nice
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:54 PM
3

Yeah good point. Early on when I was all fucked up I tried to talk to some female friends. Really bad idea. Guy friends only and only dudes who clearly are on my side. None of her white knight chuds.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:54 PM
3

hahaha dig it
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:52 PM
2

Yeah good. Point. I don't want to alienate myself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 10:28 AM
7

On it. Once per week. Definitely helps
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 10:02 AM
3

Limit conversation to what they want to talk about. This is great advice. I'm gonna try that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 08:39 AM
6

Good idea
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 07:55 AM
1

I'm a freelancer and so is my stbx we both worked from home a lot. I regret this. It's better to find a consistent place outside the home to get your work done. A coffee shop, office rental, studio space, whatever. Go crush your job all day then come home tired and relax with your wife and child. Later in the evening when you've given your love and energy to your work and your family, then play some video games. Honestly man, I had the same problem with hockey. I love hockey but I live in asia s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 12:40 AM
8

Read the Rational Male
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:05 AM
1

brutal
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:24 AM
3

Man, women can be just unbelievably cruel
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 05:54 AM
2

You're lucky man
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 12:33 AM
5

It's so crazy the women will do that, rewrite history as you described. I'm still shocked that it happened to me and shocked by how common it is. They should teach this in school. Smh
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:29 PM
1

Also, try not jerking it in general. When my wife left me I went to town. Multiple times everyday to try and ease the pain. I didn't start to recover until I stopped both porn and masturbation. A week after I stopped I started to feel waaay better. Dr. Andrew Huberman has stated on his podcast that testerone peaks one week after abstaining.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 02:34 AM
1

I felt the same way. There was a period where this was all I wanted to talk about. Read books. Learn a new hobby.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:51 AM
2

"scared of me" ...classic B/S
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 07:52 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Sounds a lot like my situation. I quit my jobs to move to her country and start a family and all the sudden she was the one making most of the money. So, my wife of two years said she wanted a divorce and left me high and dry in a foreign land. Like another commenter mention, women only seem to stick around when they see the benefit for themselves. Good luck. It will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 02:14 AM
2

"...I would never change. She said she had been miserable the whole marriage claiming that i hadn't been emotionally supportive. And she thought I was only interested in the sex." Smh. Women say the same shit everytime. It's like clockwork. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 01:53 AM
3

I still love every woman I've ever loved. No matter how it ended.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 01:23 AM
1

Which one
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:08 AM
3

I feel you. I felt like I was in a complete cloud. So dumb. I was showing up wearing the wrong clothes and shit. That 10,000 person show I mentioned... It was supposed to be full suit. I rolled up in jeans and a black tshirt like a moron. Total fog until just recently. Even now I'm still not the brightest but significantly better. Cutting out porn has helped a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 06:15 PM
3

Here's a clip of my playing right next to her three days after she told me she hates everything about me, our whole 7 year relationship was bad, she wants to get a divorce, and there's nothing I can do to change that. https://www.instagram.com/tv/CkDHX0esW7C/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 04:03 PM
1

I'm a musician. So my job is to practice, rehearse and perform (and a little bit of teaching). Usually I practice several hours each day and prepare thoroughly for every gig but Basically since this happened I completely stopped practicing. I couldn't bring myself to do it. When this was all going down I had a show for an audience of 10,000 people. I didn't practice or even look at the music once outside of rehearsal. Even in these last 11 weeks I've only practiced about 4 times. I still showed …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 03:59 PM
4

If you're watching porn... stop. That helped me tremendously.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 02:02 PM
2

His shit is blowing my mind right now
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 01:58 PM
1

Thank you sir. Point well taken.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 07:56 AM
1

Yeah man, I was absolutely shocked by how my wife was. Never cried, always, positive and friendly. Waaaay to amicable. It was heartbreaking. But I guess that's just how they do. All we can do is move on ourselves.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 05:15 AM
1

I talk to a therapist weekly. Helps a ton. Don't be afraid to let yourself feel sad. It's part pf the process. Christmas alone sucks. Let it suck now. Future Christmases will be better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 04:55 AM
6

You're time will come. I didn't have my first truly good day until week 10. Hang in there brother
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 04:10 AM
3

One of my best friend's parents have been divorced since he was a kid. They do holidays together and it's all good. I expect this is the exception to the rule. For your mental health I suggest forgetting about this type of thinking. You gotta move on first.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 04:09 AM
4

I'm sorry you are going through this. Hang tight. You will be ok
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:07 PM
6

Yeah well said. My wife came out of nowhere saying she was unhappy with me for 7 years (we were together for 7 years). Just two weeks prior she was calling me when I was on the road saying how much she loved and missed me. Complete and utter reframe lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 03:12 AM
3

Agree with this 100%. OP stated that he thinks "she feels guilty and is putting that guilt on him". That language shows he's still expecting her validation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 12:24 AM
4

Yup. Happened to me too. I feel yeah brother. Just start the healing process for yourself. Try to forget about her. Hang with friends, focus on hobbies, try not to numb yourself with drugs and alcohol. Goid luck
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 04:48 PM
2

Amazing comment. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 06:28 AM
2

Also, she kept pushing to get divorced as soon as possible. I tried to slow things down and get her in couples counseling. At the start of the first session she asked the counselor if she could record the session "because this is a divorce and she wanted to use the counselings session as evidence if she needed". She said one of her "friends" recommended she do this. Absolutely ludicrous way to open a therapy session and of course the therapist rejected that request. I have a suspicion that the "…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 03:34 PM
2

Thankfully I do have friends and bandmates here. My homies in Canada and the US have still stayed in touch and have been supportive too. You're right, it was too fast to be normal and I think many folks in the music scene realize it's fucked and many have shown support for me at this time. I've learned to keep my inner circle smaller since this has happened but it's been good to know most folks didn't just turn on me like I had feared. I agree, this dude is lowlife scum. It happened so fast I di…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 03:25 PM
1

Yeah man, I wonder. I do know there is another guy in the picture. I was betrayed by my closest friend on the Island. As soon as she mentioned a breakup he swooped in and supported her. Even meeting with her parents on two separate occasions. She even moved her piano to his house to teach lessons in the city on Saturdays (we live a bit out of town). The posted online they are performing together. The week of the breakup I spoke to him often, thinking he was my supportive friend when actually he …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 03:00 PM
3

I don't think moving to her country was a beta move per se. I had taught myself read, write, and speak Mandarin at a decently high level and was interested in the the language and culture on my own. I was also excited about having the adventure and trying something new. Regardless, making that move did put me at a disadvantage big time. The country wasn't what I thought it was nor was it's culture. I found myself on the "away team". She had her fucked up family and her fluency in the language an…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 07:34 AM
2

Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 07:26 AM
1

Before I met her I got really into "the game" and thought I new something about female behavior. Now I know I have a lot more to learn. I will check out The Rational Male. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 07:26 AM
1

Yeah man this was pretty infuriating. I think no contact with both of them is the best bet for now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 03:38 AM
3

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 02:32 AM
2

Yeah.... That was part of it. When she moved my shit out into our rehearsal space she moved her piano out to another dudes house. I thought he was my friend. I was wrong....
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 02:27 AM
1

Thankfully my Chinese is pretty good. But yeah, I've heard now that this is common. I couldn't imagine being so immature but I guess that's how they role here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 02:01 AM
1

That's the plan
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 01:59 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter