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Independent_Owlz Archive

View 5 posts and 199 comments by Independent_Owlz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This was my experience
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 09:51 PM
28

To any woman or attorney reading this thread. Stop the false accusation (silver bullet) garbage immediately. The courts are overrun with cases of abuse and all this does is delay justice for those that are truly in need. You know what you’re doing is wrong and it will come back to you. The dildo of karma rarely comes with lube. -Silver Bullet Survivor
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 11:31 AM
3

Avoid alimony. The CS battle will always be on the table. Go low and settle. $850 a week hurts my balls.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 02:50 AM
1

“I was drunk”
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 09:49 PM
8

20 years together and my ex apologized once! And that was only because she got caught.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 06:21 PM
4

I’d Lawyer up first. Record your conversations and secure your finances. Do. Not. Leave. Remember anything you say to her will be used against you. I personally would wait until after Christmas but what the fuck do I know.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 09:09 PM
7

Yes, I dread it. 3 years later and it pains me not being able to see them everyday. Pretty sure it always will.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 03:08 PM
1

Cheaters never win
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 02:36 AM
5

You’ve established citizenship in FL. FL laws apply if your kiddies were born here. She can take them out of state without your consent unless an order states otherwise. PS. If she takes them to Canada she is fucking up royally.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 02:55 AM
9

File emergency custody complaint asap.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 07:40 PM
1

We have a court ordered parent coordinator that deals with these types of matters. She issues “directives”. Ex recently did the same thing and was ordered to give me my days missed back. The PC is a licensed attorney and charges us $300 an hour to settle disputes. It’s maddening. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 10:53 PM
2

Don’t leave. If you do 3BR.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 11:49 PM
3

Safety first.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:26 AM
7

She’s bored grinding axes and explaining for herself. Screenshot everything.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:21 AM
6

She’ll want attorney fees. Guaranteed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 01:00 AM
3

Pretty sure she needs a significant reason or change in circumstances in order to change custody.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 05:18 PM
2

Call her
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 11:16 PM
1

With the paid monthly ring camera and security service subscription the cloud videos were stored online. She had our joint credit card canceled that was billing the monthly charges during the no contact order period. It wasn’t until weeks later that I found out the service had been canceled for non payment. I had a no contact order keeping me from our home for 30 days so I did not know what was really happening after the cameras were removed and the ring system went offline. I retained a private…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 04:17 PM
1

I don’t really know what she was thinking. It just looked shady af. The video evidence I had would’ve exonerated me in court regardless. Not only did she remove the cameras she had an electrician rip out the security system as well the wifi router and access points while I was in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 03:12 PM
4

For the DV case, she defied the DAs subpoena and failed to show up to court. I took a deal with the DA that my lawyer arranged. My non-tech ex thought removing ring cloud cameras while I was in jail was a good idea. She tried to destroy evidence and then took the kids to her parents. Custody battle ensued. 3 years later and I’m still standing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:36 AM
10

Took me ~2 years to get my fake DV charges dropped, expunged and records off the internet including mugshots. 3 days in jail during COVID was fun. Please get her in court and continue to roast her credibility in front of the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 12:39 AM
11

Your story is almost identical to mine. I’m close to 2 years divorced with 2 kids. I know it is hard and I wish I could tell you that things get easier. My journey has been pure hell since she left with the kids. I lost everything, house, job, friends, my mental and physical health. That said, time does heal some of the wounds. Just remember you have to be there for your kids even if it’s only 8 nights a month. I get 10 nights and it fucking sucks. Hang in there and remember not to let the bad d…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:36 PM
–

Couldn’t agree more.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 12:11 AM
12

My ex, her lawyer and my lawyer were all in bed together. Then I learned yesterday that my ex and her AP have the same divorce attorney. Was this a BOGO deal. Seriously, What in the absolute fuck is happening with the family courts in the US?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 11:35 AM
4

Everything is fair in love and war I guess. She turned into a monster after her AP dumped her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:53 PM
4

Keep in mind they make cameras that transmit off cellular. Camera detector from Amazon may be your best option.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:28 PM
2

The first thing I did was change the WiFi password when my ex left. She’ll know you are onto her if she sees the camera go offline. You could get pretty creative if you wanted to…. You really need to find the cameras first because they may have offline storage capabilities.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:19 PM
7

I wish I hadn’t signed ours. I’ve been living in financial hell ever since. I gave her more of our assets with hope that she would become civil for our children. The worst mistake of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:34 PM
5

Your story is similar to mine. Older teenagers 60/40 custody. I took less time and she took less CS to keep things from going to a full blown custody trial. I worry she will try to take me back to court for more CS at some point. If you have everything documented and journaled you should be fine. I’d consider filing a motion and counter suing her for attorney fees if it goes to court.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:42 PM
7

Family court is scary af. That said, Judges hate this kind of shit. She may be planning to depose you or pull some other nonsense with her dime store attorney. This will not play out well for her if what you’re saying is true. I hope you sue her for attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:26 PM
12

“You might’ve married the wrong person” - my ex
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 08:21 PM
6

Happy to share my experience. DM me
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 01:42 PM
13

It’s marital misconduct. Ex and I got in a huge fight, cops were called. You know the rest…. My attorney asked one question of me during one of our first motion hearings “tell the court what the fight was about” I responded with “her infidelity”. My attorney: “No more questions your honor.” My ex’s motion was denied by the judge and she decided to settle out of court after her pathetic performance in court that day.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 01:20 PM
3

Man I needed to read this today. Congrats and good luck on your date.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 12:46 PM
6

Limit contact until you have formal legal representation.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 03:10 PM
5

Classic parental alienation.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 08:04 PM
2

You both have to become committed for this to work.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:53 PM
2

At first I thought you were referring to bostonbeaman. LOL. 😂 It’s okay to laugh and cry just don’t let the bad days win.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:42 PM
1

At first I thought you were referring to bostonbeaman. LOL. 😂 It’s okay to laugh and cry just don’t let the bad days win.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:42 PM
1

Scared to know the total at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 01:56 AM
1

Fuck this gives me PTSD. Read up on silver bullet. Record everything. Your life is about to become a hellscape for the foreseeable future. Keep posting here. I wish I had found this sub earlier. There are so many good people on this sub that can help you through this journey.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 02:13 PM
3

In most states everything is negotiable through consent orders. In most situations things escalate when lawyers get involved so be prepared for the fight of your life. Here are few things to think about. Be very specific with the custody agreement. Time box everything and set due dates. Exchanges, transportation, passports for kiddos, travel out of state, vacation travel time and locations, extracurriculars, meeting new partners, schools, birthdays, holidays, moving. Do not sign a temporary cust…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 02:06 PM
6

Hire a lawyer for 1-2 hour consultation. Many things depend on the state you live in. Maybe you can sign a prenup and postnuptial agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 06:38 PM
4

Get off fuckbook. Instacrap, X (wives), tic tac…. It’s all crack in digital form.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 02:53 AM
2

This is the only answer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 02:32 PM
5

Appalachian mountains. Blue Ridge Parkway. Highly recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 10:23 PM
16

“No More Mr. Nice Guy”
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 10:07 PM
2

The best part is I didn’t really have a plan. I just got in my car. Find a safe place to park or camp. I live 3 hours from Appalachia mountains.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 10:59 PM
3

Divorced sycophant women align. Their shelf life is limited. Keep doing you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 10:52 PM
13

You’ve described exactly what I’ve been going through for 2+ plus years. Almost word for word. I went on a 6 hour car ride this weekend and slept on the side of a mountain in my car. Getting out helps! Stay strong brother!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 10:17 PM
5

Thanks for posting this. This needs to be a top post in this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:12 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/8gohKbkgV7
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:10 PM
4

Yes, do not leave and continue to record.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:05 PM
5

Congrats brother!! This gives me hope. I’m three years in and my ex is still alienating them from me. Almost daily from what I can tell. I hope the therapy and counseling goes well and that she doesn’t escalate things further.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 09:09 PM
5

My ex still doesn’t understand ROFR and denies me time every chance she can get. She is actively defying 2 directives and the consent order. Next step is show cause for contempt. Ive been told that she now has criminal exposure and could face 5 days in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 05:05 PM
6

Nah, we’ll be there with you, bro. I lost my forever person and a six figure job. It sucked and some days are worse than others. I feel your pain. Try to keep your head up. Don’t let the bad days win. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 04:40 AM
4

I reluctantly sold the only home my kids have ever known. paid off the ex. Been renting for almost 2 years. It’s a house I live in with my kids when they’re with me. It doesn’t feel like home and it sucks but it costs less than buying now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 01:20 AM
1

Nc outer banks
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 02:19 AM
3

Dreaming divorcees want what they didn’t get. It all Projection. L
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 02:53 AM
7

“I want your crypto!”
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:29 PM
3

Divorced sycophant woman have an expiration date in the hen house.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:28 PM
4

Yes, and I will make sure it happens
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:26 AM
4

Jesus, this gives me PTSD. Stay strong brother. The storm is upon us.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 07:13 PM
3

Good Luck Man. You may find more than just attorneys being called.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:00 PM
5

I would hold off until you have secured an attorney. If you share a phone plan and she can access call logs she may already know that you’re shopping for attorneys. That’s how I found out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 03:55 PM
4

Don’t leave the house for starters. Communicate through email and avoid the divorce topic with her. Anything you say can be used against you. Protect your child from this as best you can. Avoid alcohol and get on a workout routine.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 03:37 PM
24

I regret marrying that narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:31 AM
2

Congratulations bro
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 11:47 PM
6

“There’s nothing we can’t work out”.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 01:12 AM
1

Yes, she could file a motion for interim asset distribution.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 03:18 AM
3

Fuck. This made me laugh. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:26 AM
6

I’ll probably have PTSD from the silver bullet forever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:03 PM
3

I’m right there with you. I haven’t spoken with my ex since the separation. She’s holding strong on the whole no contact thing. We only message about the kids through OFW. I’m reading about radical acceptance and it’s the only way forward for me. That said, I feel like I take one step forward and 2 steps back. Wicked cycle I’m stuck in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:21 PM
7

The stages of grief are not linear. I’m still struggling with acceptance 2 years later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:05 PM
2

Try early 40s. Sharks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:28 PM
2

I knew she was bi sexual. I ignored it until I busted her in the act with another woman during my best friend’s wedding.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:55 PM
21

I miss the woman I married. That person no longer exists.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 01:05 PM
18

Life’s a bitch, then you marry/divorce one.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:39 AM
1

SA, DV, mental health disorders, substance abuse. If proven to a judge then 50/50 is in jeopardy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 02:42 AM
1

20 years. Married ~17.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 01:09 AM
2

Cold and Ugly
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 01:05 AM
4

Tool - “Hush”
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:25 PM
1

In my state you have to be separated for a year before you can file for absolute divorce. Took us 13 months and 13 days.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 01:28 AM
3

-Your Lawyer -Her Lawyers -Mediation Attorney Get an attorney ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:40 AM
1

Lawyer bro. Talk to at least 3.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:36 AM
5

Best man, “Fuck her” Me, “pretty sure that ship has sailed” Best man, “Congratulations! God Speed brother” Jokes aside…. Don’t let the bad days win. Stay busy!
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 02:07 AM
5

Damn, I hate the term “visitation”. Stay focused on the prize brother. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 06:01 PM
2

Sounds like a modification hearing needs to be on the books. Fuck her threats. Yeah let’s mediate and pay more to the lawyers. Seriously this alimony bullshit has to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 09:46 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Custody/s/Y0J3srQMJw
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 08:32 PM
3

Honestly, that was the worst part for me. Not seeing my kids. A looming custody trial over my head. The anxiety was the worst during that time and it almost destroyed me leading up to the custody hearings. My ex went full silver bullet and I’m still trying to recover. The lies, betrayal and alienation of my kids. It’s been fucking brutal. I’m 17 months divorced and the grief is still there. Therapy only helps as much as you’re willing to let it help. It worked for me in the beginning. Just getti…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 08:02 PM
7

Tread lightly. Next thing you know she’ll be filing false police reports.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 03:59 PM
6

Yes, she probably has the disorder but has never been fully diagnosed. She has become the worst version of herself. And refuses to get help.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 02:28 PM
1

She turns 44 next month. Might skip this one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:37 PM
5

Also in NC. 17 months divorced. 28 months since separation. Still physically depressed. Hang in there bro.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:27 PM
2

Trust me I get it. I did the same thing. Tracked the payments, zestimate, equity from the date she abandoned the home to the day it was sold. I thought surely I’d get reimbursed. At the very least I thought the mortgage principal I paid should come back to me. Remember if you’re going to mediate - everything is negotiable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:44 PM
1

You should keep track of the payments. I doubt it will have any impact on how the equity is split if you sell or buy her out. At least it didn’t for me. I paid the mortgage for 11 months following the separation and wasn’t reimbursed when equity was divided. I live in an equitable distribution state.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:35 PM
2

My lawyer told me during the separation that if I’m living at the marital home then I should make the payments. If she was living there then she should be making the payments. Basically, you have to pay to live somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:30 PM
1

I’m so sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:44 PM
1

Agreed. Moving in the middle of a custody battle was my point. OP, Get a custody order on the books. ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:34 PM
5

Lots to unpack here. Don’t give up on your kids. Moving just feeds the monster. If you’re SHAD with no income how are you paying CS?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:16 PM
2

If you sell-you will be entitled to half the proceeds from the sale 400K-Mortgage Principal-Realtor fees divided by 2. If you want to keep the home - Get an appraisal, refinance in your name and buy her out. Everything is negotiable. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 10:25 PM
5

Yep, it notifies your contact list that you’ve joined snap. If you can find her page or know someone that she’s connected with on snap I think you can see when she first joined.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 07:05 PM
10

Ex lied in discovery, on the stand and in sworn affidavits. Punishment? She lost the hearing where we both testified on the stand. We were headed for trial and our plan was to impeach her testimony which basically means nothing she says is credible. If you can show a pattern of lies then maybe just maybe the judge will question her credibility and intent. Honestly, family court is a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 07:01 PM
10

I knew when I found her Snapchat account.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 06:49 PM
19

Broken heart attacks are real. Make your mental and physical health a priority. I thought I was going to die many times throughout the process.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 05:19 PM
4

Every state should have these statutes in place by now. It’s 2024 not 1924 ffs.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 05:12 PM
6

Mediation is often just an expensive fact finding mission.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 03:45 PM
0

Books - I just read “No more Mr. Nice Guy. “ it’s a game changer for many.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 10:26 PM
16

Mistakes - Thinking things will be amicable. They almost never are. Expect the unexpected. Prepare for the worst. The good - I’m no longer nagged by my ex every single waking moment. I do what I want when I want for the most part. The bad - Adjusting to living alone has been extremely hard for me personally. Not seeing my children every day fucking sucks. Rise up - Don’t let the bad days win! Make your mental health a priority. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 08:06 PM
1

Ex unconnected with me on LinkedIn and it was fucking hilarious.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 02:30 AM
2

Forgiveness is something that starts with you. Forgive yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 01:58 AM
1

You can record her. And it can be used in court. Is it illegal to pretend to record? 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 12:49 AM
1

2 years later and she’s still a bitch. It feels like the never ending nightmare. Just in the last 2 weeks she gives me 2 days notice that she’s taking my kids to Cancun and Playa Del Karma. Of course, it rains for 5 days straight and my oldest comes down with Montezuma‘s revenge while there. Ex doesn’t tell me anything about her condition. Following their “vacation”, daughter arrives at my place looking like hell and asks me to get her pepto bismol. Ex refuses to respond to my questions and conc…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 07:48 PM
1

I have never once said a bad word about their mother and I never will. My youngest sent me a video during the early days of separation showing me how she completed the Rubik’s Cube I had recently bought her. I could hear my ex in the background talking straight shit about me. We used that video in the court proceedings. Shortly after I was reunited (57 days later) with my kids my ex and I agreed on a visitation schedule. It wasn’t until almost a month later that they began to stay with me overni…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 06:17 PM
1

No contact with ex. Kids were not involved. And it said I could return home if she wasn’t there. I found out from a friend that she was staying at her parents house with my kids and had changed the locks on our home and took the keys to my car. Every time I tried to call the kids during the 45 day no contact order I was denied. She has done everything possible to alienate them from me. She’s basically broken my relationship with my oldest who is now 16. I worry that we may never be close again. …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 05:33 PM
0

The magistrate put us under do not contact order following my arrest. My ex used the order to keep the kids from responding to me. I had to get my lawyer and a few family members involved to re connect with them. My ex is a wicked POS.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:00 PM
2

Ex had me arrested with false DV allegations. Then while I was in jail for 3 days she removed all the cameras, the security system and canceled the cloud service. She even took the echo dots and chimes. Then she cleaned out what she wanted from the house and took the kids to her parents. Didn’t see my kids for 57 days. I beat the charges but I’ll likely never fully recover from the trauma or financial ruin from her actions. Things can get ugly fast. Figure out a way to record her interactions wi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:41 AM
1

Rent is cheaper than buying in my area. Been renting for 18 months. Mortgage following divorce would cost me close to double what I’m paying for my rental. I’ll just keep renting until this market corrects.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 02:13 AM
–

Same story 20 years. Abuse claims on both sides. My girls were 13 and 10 when we separated. 16 and 13 now. The emotional rollercoaster is real. Hang in there !
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 01:50 AM
5

He sues for $50M. She counters with $100M. They settle for $1M to Depp. Fuck!
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 01:17 AM
2

Get a cop there. Call non 911 line.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:25 AM
5

Some states you can file an alienation of affection claim against AP for financial damages. Hawaii, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah. I live in NC and the statute of limitation is 3 years. I have video, texts and phone records proving the affair. I also hired a PI because I knew my state was one of the few that allowed this type of litigation. I want to ruin the AP financially but I’ve held off filing for now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:46 PM
2

Trust is just a word. Actions are what matters. Believe in your gut instincts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/24 02:25 AM
1

Did your lawyer ask for a continuance?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:01 PM
4

I’m no longer nagged by my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 11:55 PM
10

-Get plenty of rest tonight. -Show up early. -Be concise. -Do not lie. -Keep your eyes on the judge. You got this bro. We look forward to your next update. Edit: do not get rattled by the lies. I blurted out “she’s lying” and my attorney (female) slapped my arm and said “shut up” to me. I was assaulted in court by my own attorney. 😆 Judge laughed. I’ve found female judges to be fair believe it or not. I live in a state where judges are elected or appointed by Governor. The amount of turnover of …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 09:57 PM
10

My ex did the exact same thing. She lied on her counterclaims, interrogatories, discovery and on the stand during one of our brief motion hearings. We were going to impeach her in court if we went to a full trial. The burden of proof in a criminal case is much different than a civil case. That’s a lesson I learned.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 02:18 PM
4

Yes, of course. File a response.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 03:02 AM
1

http://www.targetedparent.com/blog/2016/2/22/the-silver-bullet
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 01:50 AM
2

Ex wife and her callous mother couldn’t even acknowledge me. As I walked away to our car with my daughter in hand all I could do was smile from ear to ear.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:07 AM
7

My daughters dance studio scheduled a 3 hour recital for this afternoon. I get to be a dance dad today!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:14 PM
7

This sub saved my life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:36 AM
2

Just say no.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:49 PM
3

Not sure why but I didn’t wake up thinking about her today.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:33 PM
1

DM me
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:29 PM
2

Ex took my kids on a shopping spree then dropped the bomb on them late on a Sunday night before a Monday school day. She messages me the next morning that she told the kids. You can’t make it up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:24 PM
7

I’m sorry man. I want a 20 year refund. I’ve known my ex since we were kids. 14 and 17. Married in our late 20s. She destroyed so many things it’s hard to keep track. I doubt I’ll ever get over it. 2 years later and I have zero interest in another woman. At least I have my kids, a decent job, and a family that still loves me. Minus her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:10 PM
3

Your comment hits home. I spent sooo much on discovery. My ex tried to bankrupt me through temporary orders and bogus motions. She thought I’d give up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:43 PM
7

Dayum. I should’ve married you. Seriously, people have no idea the cost until they go through it. All in I’m at 400K.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:38 AM
3

Happy Father’s Day to you too. My Ex tried her hardest to destroy me physically, mentally and financially. I should’ve fired my attorney sooner. Don’t stop fighting for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:31 AM
4

FUCK!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:06 AM
2

Definitely one of my biggest regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:50 AM
2

Lesson. Keep the house!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:44 AM
4

Winning! Follow this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:33 AM
2

Not me but a close friend has a child on the spectrum. They are handling it pretty well considering the circumstances. Kiddo seems to be more in tune with their surroundings and the events that are unfolding. Make absolutely certain they know you’ll be there for them no matter what happens. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:38 AM
3

This is how it’s done my dudes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:31 AM
4

Someone knows where they are. I’d hire a PI stat.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 06:58 PM
2

Ex wanted stocks, RSUs, 401K. It’s all negotiable. Putting a future value on unrealized income is not advisable.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 06:46 PM
1

Man this gives me PTSD. Alimony triggers me. I refused to even consider it unless ordered by a judge. Her attorney is telling her she’ll get whatever she wants. Be prepared to walk out without a deal. I have so many regrets and lessons learned. DM me if you need some guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:34 PM
5

This is parental alienation and it’s the worst part of divorce with kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:46 PM
11

Mediation is sometimes just a fact finding mission.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:09 AM
2

If you have a show cause motion court hearing…Be prepared. Do not show emotion in court. Get plenty of sleep the night before. Try not to overthink it. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:41 PM
2

No ethical lawyer would give her guidance to keep the kid from you. If there are reasons thats a different story. (DV, child abuse,etc.). Based on your comments I don’t think that’s the case. Sounds like she’s being vindictive and likes the cash payments each month. I’ve said this before, but using children as pawns looks horribly in front of the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:38 PM
2

I’m here for one reason. To help the fathers on this sub navigate the hellscape of family court.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:25 PM
2

Not a lawyer but I could be after the multi year shit show that my ex put me and our kids thru. Your thought process is 1000% rational and logical. You need to show the court that you’ve played by the rules and that she is the one violating the order. Keep fighting. Your son deserves time with his father equally.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 11:17 PM
5

Yes, and it’s okay to seek help. Talk to a professional. Make your mental health a priority. Therapy and exercise is a proven method to get through this hellscape. This sub has helped me so much. Come back, update us, vent, rant, comment. You’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:39 PM
2

Keeping the status quo is part of the play book. I’d give her the exchange time and tell her that you disagree with current schedule and that you want significantly more time with him. See you in court. Hyper communicate that you want more time. I hope you get what you deserve. 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:37 AM
5

If there’s no reason for it, she should be held in contempt. Judges hate this kind of behavior. Why are so many women using their children as pawns. It’s disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:47 PM
8

Someone here once said it takes 10 years to recover from the financial ruin. If I didn’t double my salary after divorce I’d be living in my car. You can always make more money. You just have to put in the effort.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 08:26 PM
11

Record everything.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 08:13 PM
5

You are not alone Guys. This thread hit me hard.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 05:36 PM
2

This hits home so hard.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 02:09 AM
3

Ex motioned for a court ordered psychiatric evaluation and I filed same motion for her. Both were dropped in mediation. It’s not uncommon. Just another way to line the lawyers pockets.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:06 PM
10

My ex and I had an extreme physical attraction for almost 20 years. At the end we were basically hate fucking each other. Sometimes it felt meaningless or that we were both trying to fill some void. Hard to describe. If I could do over again knowing our history I should’ve waited to propose to her. Here I am mid forties wondering what I could’ve done differently.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:58 PM
-1

Thanks Grandpa. I like females.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 08:14 PM
2

I still have these moments as well. Separated 2 years ago. Divorced 14 months ago. The only thing that gets me through it is thinking about her betrayal. She destroyed the lives of so many people and she couldn’t care less about the collateral damage. I remind myself that she is not the person I fell in love with and married.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:49 PM
3

In some jurisdictions texts and emails cannot be used in court. I recommend using OFW even if you have to pay for 2 accounts. Our court order states we should only text when it’s an emergency about the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:35 PM
1

Are you me because I just checked my Netflix account. Weird.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:11 PM
5

Stay away from her. I would go no contact if possible. If she can prove DV that opens up all kinds of possibilities for her attorney. Marital misconduct can be used against you and if you have kids the custody case could become an absolute nightmare if she claims DV in front of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 04:52 PM
3

You pay the mediator and your attorney. Cha Ching! These blood sucking lawyers are all in bed together. Pretty sure our attorneys play pickleball together.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 02:53 AM
1

You pay the mediator and your attorney. Cha Ching! These blood sucking lawyers are all in bed together. Pretty sure our attorneys play pickleball together.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 02:53 AM
2

I mentioned my salary in another comment. Maybe that’s why?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 02:02 AM
1

Check mate. creme de la creme. I’m gen X as well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:35 AM
1

No shame brother. When in Rome.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:28 AM
1

Ha. Stay tuned. -mark
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:13 AM
3

One night in Bangkok?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:49 AM
2

This
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 07:45 PM
2

In NC you have to go to a court ordered mediation class and then have a court mediation session before they will even allow you to set a custody trial date. The class is meant to scare you into mediating. And you can be held in contempt if you miss the court mediation session. Of course my ex wouldn’t agree to anything and we ended up in private mediation multiple times before we settled.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 07:28 PM
3

I wish someone had told me this 20 years ago. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 04:19 PM
5

The dog is the only thing my ex has control over. I’ve asked multiple times and she either ignores the message or says “I’m not comfortable with that” We share custody of the children but I can’t see the dog that I paid for. Haven’t seen him in almost 18 months. The pettiness is laughable.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 04:10 PM
14

Get that 50/50 petition done asap. I hope it works out for you !
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 03:27 PM
3

Forget about what she ever told you. Abandoning the house and taking the kids is opening the door to WW3. Talk to multiple attorneys. Get a custody complaint on the books asap.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 01:49 AM
9

Crazy part is she attacked me. I called the police and I get arrested.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 03:51 PM
3

You need to start planning. Expect the unexpected. Do not respond to her and please do not leave the house. We’re here to help so please keep us updated.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:22 PM
23

Man this gives me PTSD. My ex wife had me arrested under false allegations. While I was in jail for 3 days she removed all the cameras and canceled the cloud service storing the recordings. She removed the kids from our home and I didn’t see them for 90 days. Then she had a mutual co worker friend tell my boss about the charges and had me fired from my job. It took me 16 months to beat the allegations in court and expunged. It wasn’t until recently that I was able to get all of the mugshots off …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 11:45 AM
2

Filing frivolous motions and over litigating can backfire. Judges don’t like it especially if the couple has money. From my experience a majority of the people in family court are either under represented or representing themselves. Every motion or complaint that I filed always had my signature. Signed in person at my attorneys office. I just got billed for 12 minutes last month. We had one conversation about free baseball tickets that the firm has. The system is f’d.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 02:48 AM
1

Your situation is not that uncommon. Get back in your house asap.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:01 AM
2

Go to my profile and See my comment history over the last 5 weeks. I was scared to death of initiating a trial. I had no other choice. It was the last thing I wanted but it was the only way to get her to the table. Blood sucking attorneys will procrastinate, obfuscate, and manipulate everything if it means they get to bill you more. Especially if they know you’ve been ordered to pay her attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 09:50 PM
2

Get a trial date on the court docket asap. The courts are so backed up it took us 6 months to find a calendar date that was open for the first hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 07:43 PM
1

You need to file a custody claim with the courts asap. This will likely force her to negotiate with you on a temporary custody and child support consent order. Do not wait. My initial custody claim was 2-3 pages and was completed in a few hours by my attorney. We filed it with the court the same day. EDIT: My ex wife pulled the same BS.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 07:37 PM
6

This has been recommended many times in this sub but I just read “No more Mr. Nice Guy” and it’s a game changer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:19 PM
10

Do not leave if you can avoid it. Ex did everything in her power to make sure we sold the house. Refused to negotiate a buyout and threatened interm asset distribution if I didn’t list the house. The only home my kids ever knew. A house that I put 1000s of hours of sweat equity into. 2 years later and I just noticed on Find my iPhone app that my teenage daughters were driving by the house to reminisce. Kids begged me not to sell it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. No…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 12:38 AM
3

Yesterday was 2 years since I spoke with the pig. 🐷 OFW only about the kids and it’s usually just her asking for ca$h for her piggy bank.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 12:27 AM
3

2 year custody battle was breaking me financially and her scumbag attorney was trying to get my kids to testify in court that they wanted to stay with their mother most of the time. She had a dress rehearsal and coached the kids before one of our hearings. Thankfully the trial got continued because the family court is overrun with blood sucking vampire attorneys. I acquiesced in mediation because I did not want my children to be put through that kind of trauma. Family court is a scary place and …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 11:25 PM
1

2 teenage daughters. We both make ~160K gross. I fought hard for 50/50 and we finally settled out of court in mediation with ~65/35. I pay the kids health insurance. We split extracurriculars 50/50. I pay $630 per month in CS. The judge signed off on our agreement. We live in North Carolina.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 10:51 PM
2

Pearl Jam “rearviewmirror”
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 09:46 PM
3

Foo fighters “times like these”
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 09:41 PM
4

Man, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m 47 this month. Divorced 15 months ago after 20 years together. 2 amazing teenage daughters. I lost 40 pounds in the first 4 months. I couldn’t sleep or eat and basically turned into a hermit. The grief still hits me everyday and I cry most mornings. It wasn’t until I moved into the phase of acceptance that I started feeling a little better. You’re not alone and It’s okay to feel the way you do. This sub and months of therapy has really helped me. I j…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 09:14 PM
6

Ex filed discovery with three day deadline leaving my lawyer and me 2 days to prepare discovery for her. We were not expecting discovery in the custody case. My ex’s attorney wrote, “copy his response here” on one of her discovery answers and submitted the affidavit to the court. Her attorney didn’t proofread that my ex failed to copy and paste our response to her BS discovery questions/answers. We basically asked the same thing of each other. I answered the questions truthfully and her attorney…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 03:38 AM
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