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View 1 posts and 141 comments by IntrepidStorage on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

SEEKING ADVICEIntrepidStorage/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Do you REALLY want your kids to grow up thinking it's OKAY for a man to treat a woman that way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:17 AM
1

Aye, so many churchy people going "you made a vow". Yeah. WE made a vow to love, honour and cherish. Damn sure there wasn't any honour left in that behaviour, and you gotta be kidding me if you think disrespect is loving. But apparently if you file for divorce you're breaking your vows...na they broken already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:15 AM
19

Schrodinger's joke but misapplied. What they said, if you stay after that he knows you'll put up with shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:13 AM
8

I mean yeah if you want to ask him do it, but you know you're gonna have to drag him along on everything ever and all that. I dunno, I'd rather have someone who was enthusiastic about being with me and wanting to date me, you know? Man, I'd rather be single forever than dating some dumb fuck who can't clean up after himself. Like, if I'm gonna be cleaning up after a guy, what do I get out of it? Thank you doesn't pay my bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:58 AM
2

Do it by fait accompli. If he doesn't know anything is "wrong", he can't pressure you about it. Then leave one day all at once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:10 PM
9

As everyone else has said, take care of yourself and be a person first and a relationship partner second. I figure you've got the first bit down and are asking about the second bit. You're a person, right? If you love someone you'll make them happy on a regular day in little ways, taking their preferences into account? Et cetera? I understand that's what people do when they love other people. That bit hasn't changed. The part where you did that despite him not loving you has. The part where you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:52 PM
2

Ooh, I'd love to get that link off you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:31 PM
16

The easy way to find out is "what kind of porn are you into". Your unicorn will be actually unable to answer. Dumb idiots will either lie (only vanilla), prevaricate (the plot isn't important), or be honest (everything else). Smarter idiots will lie with "I don't watch porn" but trust your gut on that one. A good follow-up question to "I don't watch porn" is "so what are you into, then?" or even just a raised eyebrow and "really?" You actually have to turn off the NSFW setting in the official re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:27 AM
2

I have actually heard men use that to describe one particular other man. Specifically, he's very intelligent, but UGH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:15 AM
58

Fuck it, who needs excuses? You owe him NO INFORMATION AT ALL about what could possibly be more important than a guy you've met less than ten times for a few hours each. Which, let's face it, is pretty much everything else in your life, especially your own self. By the time he's important enough to warrant knowing what took precedence, he should also already know enough about what's going on in your life to not have to make excuses at all. With that in mind...I got some alternative lines for you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:05 AM
-2

I saw one news article about this once. 27/83 or something, recently married, met through work while she was already working, share some seriously esoteric interests. Still not my cup of tea, mind you, but there wasn't the ick factor there usually is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:49 AM
43

He was looking for a specific "type" on the date. He wanted you to be visibly impressed by him. You weren't as impressed as he wanted you to be, and his ego can't take it, so he has to be the one to dump you to feel better about himself. This one isn't on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:30 PM
2

In the real world, love is a choice and an action. Like I told my ex-husband-to-be, he can have all the positive feelings he wants to feel, but his actions do not demonstrate love, and so I see that he does not love me. I'm proud of you, you did the absolute right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:12 AM
63

Tried that once. He was not better in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:09 AM
1

I spend a fair amount of time on social media. Mostly it's facebook groups about my hobbies and area of business, specifically the ones which have active comment sections. Watching a whole lot of very, very knowledgeable people talking about everything subject-specific under the sun has been AMAZING for my subject knowledge. Getting answers to my questions from literal multimillionaires and business owners who own 50+ properties and/or have a thriving business with revenue in the 8 figures, pric…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:15 PM
1

Tried cross-stitching briefly. The easiest way to pick it up is buy a prepacked kit with everything. If you liked that one, buy a few more. After that, you can borrow a cross-stitch book from the library and hit up Spotlight for the required materials.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:54 PM
8

Like you said, frequency of calling/texting depends on you. Why does it? Because your schedule won't allow you to do more than what you do, of course. Do you have a hobby? Doing that (at least some of the time) takes priority. You work, clearly that takes priority. You need downtime to recharge, that takes priority too. He can get dates/calls/texts in whatever leftover time you have, he's not that important, and if he gets the wrong idea from it that's all on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:51 PM
11

I mostly ignore my phone after getting home from work, and of course when there's work there isn't texting. Only on rare occasions do I actually line up my virtual presence with someone else's and end up text-chatting. This leads to the 1-2 texts a day kind of asynchronous conversation with even bestfriends. It's not personal nor is it indicative of lack of interest. You're, like, two dates and a few texts in. Stop overthinking it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:41 PM
64

I'm more-or-less in the business of flipping houses. You gonna pay me 30k to spend 8 hours a day for a month fixing up a guy ready to live with? You absolutely 100% sure he's gonna do as I instruct for 8 hours a day for a month, and thereafter follow the new principles I drummed in? No? Fuck the hell off then, I'm sticking to houses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:23 PM
6

When did this happen? If it was from 18-24 I'm inclined to let it slide, 22-28 not great but understandable, 32-38 major red flag. Does your background check line up with his story of incompatible routines? I personally find it hard to believe that a pickme type wouldn't go along with his preferred day-to-day. Orange flag. It's been 9 months and you're starting to plan for the future. Has he ever said anything concrete or is it all pie in the sky fantasy? Also, why are you having this conversati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:35 AM
5

I don't see how him not showing interest is being in any way unclear about his disinterest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:21 AM
3

If he doesn't know you well enough to compliment you, it's empty. Only the most superficial of compliments can even be true. The other good reason to hate compliments is when the fellow is talking about how you make them feel. That isn't a compliment. Often it's both reasons - "you're beautiful" is superficial as fuck, and also they clearly care too much about how your appearance makes them feel. As a side note, I'm fucking stunning - I'm a total 20/10 - but I've gotten more "you're smart" and "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:17 AM
9

EVEN IF he was just oblivious, and that's a big if, you are under no obligation to keep trying. It is entirely possible, even likely, that two people have trauma responses which just feed off each other into a vicious cycle. That makes him bad for you regardless of whether he's a bad person in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:35 AM
21

It's not normal. There's merit to moving quickly, but not THAT quickly. He's playing the numbers game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:29 AM
7

Happy birthday, my gift to you is freedom, bye now. I mean, you have valid reasons (social group) for not wanting to do it that way. But it's entirely possible your mutual social circle will take his side anyway even if you do it the nice way. Don't make decisions purely based on what other people will think, as a rule; that doesn't apply only to boyfriends but to other people in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:23 AM
24

Here's the thing, an Asian woman who "doesn't care about the money"* wants the status of being the white guy's girlfriend. That's not how you get a lasting relationship. *not that she doesn't care about the money. But she's pragmatic enough to know how she stacks up against her cohort, too. I swear western women are the only ones who think love conquers all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:15 AM
4

Nope, not enough HVM to go around that every HVW who wants one can get one. But you know what, I want my stuff shipped from aliexpress to arrive within the month, too. I want and hope for a lot of things, not all of which I can get. Hope is what you have left when you literally can't do anything else about the situation. At this point, either you resign yourself and wait and possibly lower your standards (pickme behaviour), or you say fuck it and go do something else interesting (FDS). Either yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:08 AM
0

That's not an unreasonable opportunity to seize in some circumstances. Like, this is a reciprocal relationship where I cater to your fetish because you pay me lots of money, sort of thing. Bring cash to the first date. Money is important, money is freedom. A few dates can buy you first last and deposit, which would otherwise take a year or two to save up. It's not a great situation all around. I would really prefer that women never had to weigh the money against the idiocy and danger, but in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:43 AM
17

Disregarding the porn question, he lied to you. For 5 years straight, swearing up and down on his parents' graves. What else is he lying about that you haven't discovered yet? You will never trust him again with anything, and that is exactly as it should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:33 AM
2

You fought for the relationship. He didn't. And that really says it all, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:22 PM
2

Right now during covid? Not having a job isn't that much of a flag compared to pre-covid times. Not doing something about it is, as always. I'm a little bit wary of the house-husband types. It's my experience that they get emasculated and try to assert their dominance, and, y'know, fuck that noise. I'm sure good ones exist. Just haven't met any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:19 PM
3

So he feels "love" for you, much the same way one would love a pet. You can take really good care of a pet and notice its tells and give it treats. But a pet will never be an equal and never deserve your respect as one. Women ain't pets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:14 PM
1

You may or may not have had issues before, but being married to this fucker has certainly given you things to bash out during individual therapy. You'll be happier at the end of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:12 PM
3

It's possible to be friends with men. In a group context. 1on1s usually turn out badly, especially if you're single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:09 PM
1

It doesn't matter. The handbook is pretty much "this is the best way to find one", but once you found one you pretty much have to let your hair down. Relationships are still, in the end, two people who are supposed to respect and trust each other. On the other hand, if you managed to find one who doesn't respect you, FDS is a good way to let that fucker go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:04 PM
3

I know a hell of a lot about finance/investing stuff and my retirement accounts are still 100% VTSAX. That's the most time-efficient way to allocate a retirement fund worth less than about mid 5 figures. I understand the exact place to put it (401k, etc) is dependent on your country of origin, so do your research or find a professional for that. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:49 PM
4

I mean yeah, if you want to hook up, you get a hook up. A lot of those tips are pretty much "be up front about wanting to hook up, sooner rather than later, and don't make promises you won't keep". We aren't the target audience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:29 AM
40

My marriage counsellor (female) just insisted that I had to forgive him because everyone makes mistakes. I pointed out that I do forgive him and that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting and letting him do the same damn thing over again, which he was doing, and she was like well you gotta give him many chances because the Bible says so. Because obviously 6 months of chances wasn't enough, right? Like, duh, no. Even Jesus flipped tables.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:22 AM
3

That's the particular societal conditioning of the day, as it were. There have been time periods in history across many cultures where men did have long nails and painted. It was a sign of wealth (not needing to work in the fields, etc.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:01 AM
1

It's, uh, a tricky point. Where I am, if they get married down the line (or even cohabitate for at least the last year out of a 3+ year relationship, or have a kid regardless of relationship duration), the "start of relationship" is backdated to the first date. So she would have bought the house during the relationship. And he would be entitled to half of it in a subsequent breakup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:59 AM
2

So, details. Well made clothes in good materials tailored to your figure, no logos anywhere because that's tacky. Pleaser heels (not kidding, they're hands down the most comfortable), not generic shoe store ones that kill your feet in 10 minutes. I don't know all that much about the rest of it, honestly. But that's what I've got.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:57 PM
5

I think you've been brainwashed to think nail polish looks gross on a male. And I mean yeah, looks terrible on your average male fingers because they don't take care of them, and it causes a mismatch with the rest of their outfit (grey sweatpants, etc). But generalising that to all men just on account of gender? Ehhhh. Something to think about, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:52 PM
2

"Are you?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:44 PM
2

Your first fuck-up was getting into his car. Your second fuck-up was actually telling him where you live to be dropped off at. You did not fuck up by agreeing to a weekend date while he had you trapped in his car, you kept yourself safe by doing so. Walk it back the way others here have told you. Stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:44 PM
8

Here's a thing for SAHMs. Just because you're staying at home does not make you less entitled to his income in a partnership, in fact it makes you more entitled to it. Instead of setting up joint taxable retirement accounts (the ones you can withdraw whenever) or even just in his name, set up individual ones with the same allocations and go at least 50/50 into them, if not more into yours. That's money you have access to. And yes, you can contribute money someone else earned into a retirement fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:27 PM
6

Please bear with me if I'm telling you things you already know. So I'm into real estate too, and if you don't have a lawyer and accountant you need to get one NOW. Given that your kids are (rightfully) your priority, and given relationship property laws, if you stay with him there is a more than decent chance he will screw your kids over on inheritance. You need to lawyer up yesterday and protect them. Structuring property ownership is a whole thing, which both minimises tax and protects your in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:19 PM
9

Best you can do is ask how (in concrete terms) he's supporting her to be the best person she can be. Worry about the relationship and ask her to put your mind at ease. She knows it's not a good look and is feeling very unlistened to right now because nobody appears to trust her judgement on men, so you need to at least look like you're open to believing her about him, and definitely confirm verbally multiple times that it's her right to choose in spite of all opposition and you hope he makes her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:41 PM
5

You always gotta sleep early because you work (or church, or meeting friends for a daytrip, or whatever) tomorrow. No ifs, ands or buts. Anyone who tries to push you on that, sorry dude, other people are counting on me, I'll be in touch bye. (spoiler: don't be in touch) If you want to get out earlier than the pre-imposed deadline, look at your watch and "need to get stuff ready for tomorrow, sorry, I'm being a bad date because a bit distracted right now". It is WAY easier to GTFO if you've estab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:27 PM
1

Thrift store, men's section. And a good tailor. You get better materials and it sidesteps the ethical fashion issue that way too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:20 AM
6

Tradies always have something to prove, in my experience. I wouldn't mind to date blue collar if they met the other criteria. But damn they REALLY don't wanna date me (master's degree in engineering, and good with the tools as well). I imagine it'd be different if I was a nurse or teacher or office assistant, and if I didn't know which end of the hammer you hit with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:10 AM
3

Yes it's always a bit odd with folks coming from really LV backgrounds. They pick up fleas and there are sentimental old friends they can't bear to cut loose, etc. I'd say he's higher risk than his equivalent who started off middle-class, but at the same time, it's entirely likely that having made it despite adversity is what makes him a good partner. Something I noted about all the white middle-class-upbringing men I've ever dated, is that they completely cannot empathise with women because the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:00 AM
6

So he's gonna wait "longer" as in "forever", right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:49 AM
21

Always talking about your looks = not talking about interests and experiences = not interested in a deep relationship but only one based on looks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:45 AM
5

I know a lot of people who work in video game development. And mostly they are in fact this obsessed with video games. You kind of have to be, to accept one-third of the pay you could be making elsewhere for the same job description without the video games. It's not usually the neckbeardy kind of obsession though. There are really cool things to talk about, like the technical/engineering side of how things get made, and what goes into good level design, and gamification of non-games, and the con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 09:34 AM
2

So you have money, right? Like, you have your own bank account and enough to get by without his financial support? Make nice enough to grab all your stuff from his place, and get out. You don't need him and you don't want him, so, no reason to keep him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:15 PM
8

I believe he's worried about being dumped. But look, he knows exactly what he has to do to not be dumped. And he isn't doing it for many months now despite you have made your position clear many times. He could not possibly make his intentions any clearer. The few times I’ve been “angry” or shown disdain, he hurtfully asks if I will leave him, as he has admitted he is insecure to lose me. Na, that's manipulation. He doesn't want to lose you, true, but it's easy to manipulate with the truth. He's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:08 PM
16

He doesn't love you. He has positive feelings for you, but love isn't a feeling, it's a choice and an action. He chooses not to love you with his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:54 PM
-2

Do you truly believe that people can never change? In which case, please go back to being a pickme and stop pretending to be FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:59 PM
3

That's the domain of your lawyer. If you're single and wealthy, you can also consider a trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:28 PM
-1

Personally I don't think it's realistic that a LVM "hides" behind a HVM facade for 20 years. Instead I would be looking at what changed. Apparently-sane people get suckered into cults or drugs all the time, if you want non-dating examples of people losing value. It is possible and can happen. As for prenups: do your own research. It's not as powerful a tool as you'd think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:27 PM
276

Can we all take a moment to appreciate that she did the right thing and did it decisively?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:10 PM
67

Good lord, it's a whole common theme with these guys. I won't hit you, therefore I'm a great husband/boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:41 PM
2

Ya, that puts a whole different spin on things than if he was financially responsible himself. And yeah, drop him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:35 PM
2

I think I know this one. You grow up thinking all men are like your dad, and just sort of assumed that since your dude wasn't treating you like your dad treats your mum, it was because you were inadequate in some way, rather than it being a him problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:48 AM
2

I suspect he's coming from a place of wanting you to be financially secure. Hence telling you what to do with your money. As though, y'know, you weren't a grown ass adult who can make your own financial decisions. I'd say he loves you like one would love a pet. You feel genuine good feelings for it but it's certainly not an equal dynamic and can never be. The next step up is like loving a kid, you're not equal but it's a question of experience rather than capacity. And then there's loving an adu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:46 AM
2

So here's something that might help. When someone gives you a gift, it is kindness to accept it, and unkindness to refuse it. A sincere thank-you is all you ever need to return. If they ask for more, it was clearly not a gift as it came with strings, and they were deceitful besides for calling it a gift - these people are not worth your time, return the "gift" and decline the string and any future offers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:04 AM
2

Mine's response to being in the dog house was attempted lovebombing, while doubling down on the LV behaviours. Like no I don't actually care about gifts and things if you can't show basic respect in a conversation, gtfo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:57 AM
3

Saw that one. Was speaking in generalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:14 PM
2

I reckon it's natural to be upset too. But how you deal with the upset shows maturity - if you go out and egg the house and slash tyres, hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:12 PM
13

...clearly you need to find a kid sitter to take advantage of. This guy has just shown you how to find one. You should learn from your experiences. (/s)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:09 PM
4

You got this. Though I'm surprised you got an annul instead of a divorce, I hear those are hard to get. Maybe not so surprising since clearly you can do whatever you put a mind to doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:06 PM
11

People leave in the middle of projects all the time. Find a new job. Grey rock him in the meantime and only converse on professional matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:05 PM
3

Depression is a hard nut to crack, but also, there's a lot of overlap between depressed and just shitty. Best not to mistake one for the other, because only one is fixable, and that's if you even want to stay. I'm of the opinion that you can't support him in a search for a solution if he isn't searching for one himself. And even if you could, that's not a reason why you should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:00 PM
9

Mine was a HVM before he got tangled up in something really bad for him (best guess, I'm still pretty sure he didn't intend to change so something did it for him). He did in fact make my life better and I wouldn't be where I am today if not for him. I don't regret the marriage. Even when it was best, I was completely aware that relationships and sex just take up a whole lot of time I could be doing something else with. Figured investing in the relationship was worth the time. Obviously, since he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:51 PM
7

You have a wonderful blessing in that friend. Which guy passes the test of not trying to cheat on you with her, is worth further consideration. But which guy likes her more than you, you know he's LVM and should drop him. As for whether your friend is actually a good person as some commenters are asking? You're in a better position to make that judgement than any of us. I promise you, very attractive women need all the friends they can get - many, many jealous pickmes will shun her company, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:38 AM
2

I think you're overthinking this. Some fellows will take it well that there just happened to be someone else who got there first. Some fellows will hold it over your head forever that you didn't choose them first. A conversation with him should sort out which kind he is, and then you can proceed accordingly. It costs you nothing but 5 minutes of typing and you never win if you don't try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:16 AM
18

Whatever you want to do, duh. If you want dates without sex, you should be getting dates without sex. If you want sex 5 times a week, why shouldn't you be asking for it? At some point you gotta start trusting him to keep meeting your standards. You've vetted him and are exclusive, he's not let the value slip for 6 months, it's probably time to default to trust instead of distrust. Trust him to continue understanding that you are a whole person with needs and wants, and continue respecting you en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:20 PM
1

Do it via fait accompli. When he's out, get your friends over to pack his shit and change the locks. Or get out of your lease, move in silence and ghost him. (Don't block, just don't respond. You need the evidence in case of escalation, and you need the warning in case he tries something.) While planning the above, grey rock him as far as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:57 AM
5

Exes of a single race only, that's not a bright glaring red flag so much as it is an X marking the spot where you should dig. It's definitely worth digging and be on your guard while doing so, as the statistics are against you (a significant fraction of men who only date one race do it because of a fetish). It's not automatically LV but it's a strong indicator, so definitely dig some more before you get to like him too much. Some people do actually just have a type. The other explanation is stat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:51 AM
36

Paid a bunch of money. Got set up with a guy who...was also on Seeking Arrangement, so you can imagine how that goes. What I took from the date was he wanted a woman who would put up with alllll his shit, but he was willing to pay for the privilege so that's still a step up from OLD. Never got set up with anyone else, found my now-ex on my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:33 AM
5

Something serious, but they have to be the right person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:17 AM
7

On the one hand...tidy and well taken care of, so yeah, best of a bad situation. My only judgement there is positive, whether he's managing it paycheck to paycheck or saving for something bigger. I'm gonna spend a couple years living really rough so I can buy my ex out of the house ASAP, I'd be a hypocrite if I condemned that room. On the other hand, I'd still be perfectly within my rights to choose not to date someone whose situation looks like that (well, I'd give enough of a chance to find ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:12 AM
16

Yes, people really do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:11 AM
2

You want to know more about the guy who she likes and what their relationship is like, of course! Sisters, right? Just typical relationshippy gossip and it can go both ways too. Quantity is more important than hitting a single exact weak point - there isn't one, it's about building a network of cracks until the thing is weak enough for her to shatter on her own. Ask about her common interests with him and what you knew of her individual interests prior to meeting him, that's a good one because p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:38 AM
3

Honestly? Unless you have a reason to be using insta at all, I'd drop insta. Or at least stop posting anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:31 PM
2

Nah they're just sharing nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:29 PM
1

Have any female friends? Good ones will see that you're great looking, funny and smart, and celebrate your achievements to boot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:21 PM
3

Note: you only need to give one chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:18 PM
2

18 is the wrong age to be dating anyone other than in your own highschool or college, or tradie apprentices. You're 100% guaranteed to attract predators if you're looking outside of school settings. And even in non-predator settings, the dating pool is such crap at that age anyway. Do your own thing, the returns are better. Tell ya what. Put $1k a month aside for the next 7 years into a S&P500 fund, now that you're 18 and legal to hold one in your own name. You'll be ahead at 65 even if you neve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:17 PM
5

I'd ask some questions. What you're going for is to plant a seed of doubt in her mind. Ask things like does he pressure you to do stuff, do you feel comfortable with what he wants, etc. Also ask things about her own self and ambitions. Verbally affirm as well as demonstrate by example that you can be a whole person and still have room for dating if you want, and that boundaries can be set in a relationship. Moving on from that, make her aware that you support her 100% even though you don't suppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:09 PM
3

It could just be the area. I was in a highly populated city (1m+) and there was 0 people wanting an actual relationship. Chatting to a friend in a smaller town (60k) and she tells me she has men lining up to take her on actual dates and making no secret that they'd like to pursue a relationship with her specifically. Always gotta weed through the fuckboys, obviously, but it is definitely highly affected by the location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:58 PM
3

+1 love what I'm doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:51 PM
8

Exactly, if he wants to change and values your opinion in doing so, it'll take one serious communication to start seeing changes. Anything other than that, nah, he doesn't actually care and is paying lip service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:49 PM
9

I believe he edited to mention that he picked a low volume time and made sure the park was empty. That does put a different spin on things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:46 PM
4

Isn't about the weight loss though, it's about the exercise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:44 PM
8

I can't imagine lower value behaviour than feeling threatened by your own nonexistent kids with someone you supposedly love. But we've seen a couple posts with that recently, haven't we.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:41 PM
10

It's so much easier for men to get theirs, too. Women have to jump all the hoops, men can walk in and make an appointment for next week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:39 PM
3

He's talked to you before, that's a good sign as these things go. So probably he read the cleavage pic as "I'm single and looking for something" which your previous posts didn't give the impression of, which then gave him the courage to ask. If he hadn't previously interacted and then asked you based on the one cleavage pic, that'd be a hard pass. Dinner's a good sign too, he could have said drinks, coffee or hangout. It's...not an ideal start, honestly, but it's also not the "nothing good can c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:45 PM
3

Here's the thing about sex, every first time with a new person is a new first time, and every pair of people have to learn each other. You will not seem any less awkward than his ex who had several previous partners. It's a non-issue. And really, once you've had sex you'll be going "was that it, why so much hype?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:32 PM
5

When I was 21 I thought the same thing that I wasn't good looking enough to date, the truth is they were highly attracted but weren't confident enough to date me. See also r/niceguys. Congratulations you found one in the wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:28 PM
20

It's a filter. If you go on a date with him even after seeing this, he knows you can be made to compromise, can be manipulated, buys his stories at face value, and don't mind his "friends who are girls". By going on that date, you are telling him that you agree to settle for beer-drinking shorts-wearing fat guy who deceived you earlier and won't give you a straight answer when you ask a straight question. He specifically wants a woman who will do that, no point wasting resources on a date if she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:18 PM
11

That's okay. I'm more attracted to a house plant than a LVM, even it doesn't have a dick. Though you really wouldn't know it with some of these plants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:08 PM
14

I tell you, cucumbers are THE SHIT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:07 PM
61

Aye. There are this many incel/redpill subs and I've never once felt anything other than sad that those guys got that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:52 PM
1

That is, in fact, the quibble I have with all feminine appearance stuff. It doesn't negate that a larger proportion of women are able to look conventionally attractive because there are more variables to tweak and more good endpoints, which is the point I was making. These two points can be true at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:08 AM
3

You can either have a relationship progress or ask lots of those questions. Not both. Since it's a VERY BAD idea anyway to seriously date someone with that differential in life experience and power, you can keep doing what you doing if you can keep your heart out of it and stay safe. Which, admittedly, is not guaranteed and you should try to find the answers elsewhere if you can, but I understand why it's easier this way. They're using you anyway (younger woman, power differential, probably attr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:03 PM
2

Insecure is not a HV trait. If he knows this about himself and is actively working on it, he may still be a HVM, nobody's perfect (but I'd wonder why it's still an issue, if he isn't on the younger side). But insecure people are usually too insecure to admit their insecurity and it doesn't get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:54 PM
-1

You made a bad choice, back when you didn't know any better. There's actually a decent chance he didn't know it himself, but someone at that level of repression probably shouldn't be dating or marrying and is almost definitely showing a ton of flags which you just didn't pick up on. You won't make the same mistake again unless you choose not to grow as a person. Can't change the past, I'd suggest addressing it - in therapy if possible - and move on. His reasons are not your fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:53 PM
4

They don't, I agree. They just also...don't bring anything to the table, most of them anyway, and will be passive aggressive about it. But you probably won't get murdered either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:48 PM
1

Probably NZ. They don't make a distinction between defacto and married. If you were living together before married, they add that to the length of your marriage when talking relationship property laws. Which means in practice that marriage is great for fast tracking paperwork and legal things, but it theoretically makes no difference in the end. To OP: if you have assets worth protecting, set up a trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:39 PM
8

If you like the bodysuit top, get the bodysuit. Then go to a good tailor. Other than that, yeah, the options are dwindling. Same people telling us what to like wearing as are making the clothes, see. If fashion trends were a reflection of what people actually wanted, we would have pockets. There are available choices out there if you look hard enough, but there are less of them than there were.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:34 PM
2

It is actually easier for a woman to be attractive in society. There are more clothing options, more accessorising options, more hairstyle options, etc, and a wider range of what is even considered attractive. Small wonder so many women look attractive, we've all figured out what works for us. (It takes more time, money and effort too, which I'm very annoyed by for what I consider very good reasons, but what you get out of it is actually pretty spectacular.) The above does not in any way stop me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:26 PM
3

Knew a guy once. He really stepped up his game when he was told about a child he hadn't planned for. Dude's #1 ambition is to be a good father, the job is a means to an end and any career change or advancement would be done with kid's welfare in mind. Not everyone's cup of tea, for sure, but career ambition isn't the only kind of ambition out there and that's OK. Unfortunately, the fellow in the OP doesn't seem to have any ambition at all other than getting laid. That's...actually probably why h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:12 PM
14

What I found with tradies is actually that they have a chip on their shoulder because I'm more educated. (And probably because I'm an engineer and tradies just can't stand those.) Never mind that they're currently earning more, have professional certifications and memberships in professional bodies, work for themselves, etc. But I have the Master's degree and they don't, so hello inferiority complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:02 PM
1

Here, I found you a link. https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/comments/8cqbss/build_the_life_you_want_then_save_for_it_update/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:01 AM
7

All this does is prevent a casual search from turning up the information, you go one level deeper and there it is again because nothing ever truly leaves the internet. And we're not even getting into big tech and their big data shenanigans, or real-life following and social engineering. I can hire a PI for <1k and get your info anyway, no matter how private you keep it. Of course there's value in not being turned completely over by a casual search, but it's not going to stop any stalkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:54 AM
7

I'm pretty sure it's because better than 90% of a bi woman's dating pool is male. Statistics will out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:49 AM
1

You're right, I wouldn't date a dude whose only hobby was YT cat videos. But I know several folks who love sharing cat videos, the cat videos aren't the deal breaker here. The deal breaker is more that it's the ONLY hobby you have. And really, you only listed one example, it's reasonable to think that you have or can find SOME interesting hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:25 AM
24

You already know it would be a bad idea. If he wants to move in, he can get down on one knee first and then you can plan the relocation along with the wedding and its inherent legal rights and protections. Remind me why he isn't finding a closer job and closer apartment, anyway? Why should you be the one making all the changes for him? Come to think of it, why isn't there already a plan to "close the gap" if it's as serious as you think it is?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:23 PM
3

Look. If you think your choice is being happy with your hobbies, vs repressing yourself for the sake of "being in a relationship", and you still actually legitimately want to choose the second one...that's your choice. But right now you're unhappy with your hobbies because they don't meet some imaginary future girlfriend's imaginary preference. What even?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:18 PM
7

Shittier people can get dates. Shitty dates. Dates you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. You don't want to date the kind of person who would date a shitty person. You could, they'd date you, but you won't, because you know you deserve better than that. The only "can't" I see is that people worth dating won't go near you either while you're stuck in self-loathing. Getting the dates you want, well, start with yourself first, eh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:14 PM
8

I heard "dressing stylish isn't my thing" all the fucking time from my fucking future ex husband. Like no duh you can pick the tshirts that look like shit, or you can pick the tshirts that look good. "I prefer to be comfortable" is missing the point, because you just add a tshirt to your wardrobe whenever you find one that's both flattering and comfortable, and then you have a wardrobe where everything you could possibly wear makes you look good. His next excuse was "when I lose more weight". Do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:11 PM
64

You CAN change your husband. For a better model. One who listens to his wife, thereby also invalidating the "can't change her husband" statement - although she shouldn't need to so the point is moot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:04 PM
4

Maaan. It's so sad that people have made marriage the only socially acceptable way to have committed companionship. If I saw a viable pathway to get houses in a triangle like that I would never have been married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:58 PM
4

LOL. Who's throwing it all away, the one who stepped out? or the one who realised exactly what their partner actually thought of them and did something about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:37 AM
9

When I was online dating, I replied "hi" to "hi" but nobody got a second message back unless they'd made reference to one of the interesting things on my profile. (An unusual hobby; a slightly technical joke) If you don't have an interesting thing in your profile, that's on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:30 AM
9

The bigger question here is, why is this so important to you? Your life does not begin and end at "this guy asked me out", and less than 24 hours is not enough time to even begin looking for excuses, which you shouldn't be doing anyway. Go do some of those things that make you an interesting person in your own right. If he never gets back in touch with you, that's his loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:22 AM
19

Look. I'm a prize. I want an equal. Pretty much by definition that means they're a prize too. For a different competition, and nobody says the prizes are equally common or easily attainable or whatever, but worth winning nonetheless. That is to say I want an actual prize. Not just some dude who thinks they're one, which is most of the ones who try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:31 AM
2

PPD might be a reason, but it's not an excuse. The behaviour is inexcusable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:21 AM
9

I mean, why is his inability to hold down a job long enough to pay rent your problem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:55 AM
3

I was wavering between those two, yeah, sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:00 AM
1

Yup, got on it. I actually think that, since it's possible for a pickme to figure it out and become a HVW, and it's possible for a LVM to mentally grow up and become a HVM, the reverse must be true as well. I don't think it was an act. But I do know that I have to make my decisions based on who he is today, and today he isn't a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:59 AM
2

As it turns out, there's a mandatory separation period before divorce in which the two parties cannot be living together anyway. So new plan, kick him out ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:57 AM
5

Ooh, good catch, it might not have been for any of the obvious reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:56 PM
1

I want the house, dammit. If I keep the house, that puts me in a position to buy another house in two years even solo. If I sell the house, I can't get another for two years anyway due to the very good financial reasons I mentioned above, and even then it'd be a stretch. That much security is worth dealing with a shitty roommate for two years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:54 PM
3

I can pre-empt that and take half right out the gate, with a reasonable excuse even, but we're jointly and severally liable on a mortgage. Like hell I'm paying 100% of it for him to gain 50% equity. Welp, this means I'm shopping for a broker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:18 PM
2

I've never made it secret that I can only be bought. My price is one comfortable early retirement, with the payment plan terms and duration to be negotiated in context. This is a violation of the terms with no attempt at good faith, which you're right that he's likely to escalate even further than he already has, and thus I should protect myself and prepare to leave. I still want to keep the house, better brush up on my divorce law.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:12 PM
4

It's been, oh, years now. But it does make sense, this began after he started freelancing on the basis that my salary is enough to support us both while getting established. That's a reversal of the common financial power dynamic. While I blamed the fox news, it's entirely possible that wasn't the actual cause, and thus that it's likely to get worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:59 PM
6

IKR. It was a straight regression, he used to know all this shit. But I shouldn't have engaged the discussion in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:54 PM
1

Just because someone thinks you're impressive to begin with, doesn't mean they don't feel emasculated on some level. It starts to wear on them. It makes you unequal in their perception and that eventually kills the relationship, regardless of what your perception was. (Funny enough, men don't mind inequality in the other direction.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 09:08 AM
1

Go with what they said about a capsule wardrobe - but get them from the thrift store, where you can try on all styles and colours, and don't worry about getting an exact fit. That'll save you easy $50 a piece, which you can spend on a tailor to finish up the fitting. Bonus points to shop in the men's section, they're better quality in general and they have POCKETS. Buy to fit your bust/hips and get the tailor to do the waists. Come to think of it, you can take your existing clothes to the tailor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:49 AM
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