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Islandboy2000 Archive

View 4 posts and 366 comments by Islandboy2000 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well, that’s what I thought, so I responded to the message, asking the moderator to actually review this comment, hoping they would realize it was not toxic in nature at all. But the dude was not budging. He reiterated it will be a permanent ban, and then claimed that “40% of my content comes from this toxic subReddit”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 05:40 PM
3

Well said! Edit: this comment just got me permanently banned from the r/dating. WTF?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 04:25 PM
1

A Swedish massage on my naked body, in a dark room lit by candles, & soft music = sensual If that doesn’t help set the scene for you, then let me give you her business card.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 10:23 PM
1

It kind of sounds like you’re naive (unlikely), ignorant (unlikely), or you’re arguing just to argue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 10:19 PM
1

Lol. You crack me up trying to compare a medical scenario to a Swedish massage
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 05:34 PM
1

Go back and read again. I said massages are sensual. I also pointed out how people are naked. I also noted that people are touched in intimate areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 05:33 PM
1

Wow, you’re either ignorant or naive. Have a good day! 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 04:27 PM
1

No, medical service is not sexual, and more to the point, it’s not *sensual”. And just because the porn industry makes films about “naughty nurses”, it doesn’t mean anything. Pizza delivery is neither sexual or sensual, but there are porn films about it. So what? And granted, you can request a deep tissue massage that is painful, but one can also request a gentle, sensual Swedish massage. Oh, you totally dismissed my point about massages causing arousal. Hmm 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 04:26 PM
3

What’s pathetic is your myopic view of the situation. We’re talking about an environment that’s sensual, feels very good, where people get aroused and people are naked. FFS how you can ignore all that? Show some empathy!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 01:47 PM
1

A massage therapist is not just a regular job, as you put it. A debt collector is just a job. A massage therapist is rubbing on another person’s naked body, in a dark room, alone, in a sensual setting. It may not be inherently sexual, but it is sensual and it feels good to be on the receiving end…very good. And so good that it’s not uncommon to be aroused. Heck, there’s a whole fantasy around it!…Ive had many partners ask to role play where I’m the massage therapist that goes a bit too far under…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 01:41 PM
1

Well said! 👏🏼
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:45 PM
1

Speaking of public opinion, Have you noticed that the responses vary depending on the time of day? I wish we had a breakdown of demographics per sub and time of day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:44 PM
1

Well said. It’s best to state those boundaries early on so that both can decide if they’re in right relationship. On the other hand, certain requests need to be checked if the relationship hasn’t reached the point of warranting such a request.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:41 PM
2

I do believe in some spouse privileges and hold myself to those standards. Very good! Love this. Too many men and women freely give their FWBs or GF/BFs some of the privilege of being a spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:25 PM
2

Sounds like y’all have it all figured out. Kudos to the two of you. Thanks for the dialogue and Be safe out there 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:25 PM
2

My “girl”? If it’s a girlfriend then I wouldn’t say a word. If my wife, then it would depend on the services. Without responding to each example you gave, I’ll give you a blanket statement: when it comes to medical services , then my advice to a spouse, coworker, friend, internet stranger would be the same: pick the highest qualified physician that you can obtain.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:23 PM
2

You responded after I just made my edit above. Check it please and reply, if you don’t mind And that’s great that you trust each other 100%. Awesome! But there’s such a thing as not trusting other people ; and that has to be considered as well. E.G. he may trust you to go out to a bar, drink until 3am all alone. But he shouldn’t trust the other men there and therefore he had a duty to be concerned for your safety and therefore it would be reasonable to request you not go to the bar to get drunk …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:14 PM
1

Funny how you criticize mine, but don’t offer your advice in your response to me. Hold up, Let me guess your advice… “dump him!!” 🙄😄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:08 PM
2

So there is absolutely nothing that you could do that would make your husband uncomfortable? Really, nothing?? And perhaps it’s not the touch or being seen by another man, so perhaps it’s another man’s words, or time, or gifts. Ask him tonight and I bet he could come up with at least one scenario. I just find this so unusual that both of you are totally comfortable with every (non-sexual experience). Heck take the opposite gender out of it, and imagine a scenario that involves your safety and (p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:06 PM
1

You won’t get an argument from me. In fact, I said to decline the gift (if that’s the route you prefer). Care to comment on the other point I made about this being a “husband privilege” type of request?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:03 PM
3

What about them? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:01 PM
2

Cool! Good for you lol But I imagine there are other things he is uncomfortable with you doing. And I imagine you would honor those.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 05:29 PM
1

Well, that is true that it’s not a sexual experience. However, it is a pretty intimate setting. Imagine you’re married and how you would feel about your wife, lying naked, alone in a room with another man. Same can be applied to personal trainers. We’ve all heard the stories of women hooking up with their personal trainers. I don’t know if they’re cheating or not. But that’s beside the point. Personal training is not a sexual experience either. However it does necessitate being (intimately) clos…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 05:26 PM
0

If the person was an intimate partner, then I would hear them out, and then decide to honor their request or decline the gift. IMO, this type of request requires husband privilege (maybe fiancé). In other words, if they’re just dating, then requests of this nature should be pushed back and you should say, “I understand you’re uncomfortable , but what you’re asking of me requires a ring on my finger. If you’re my husband, then I would consider your request. Until then, I will choose my therapist.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 05:20 PM
1

Ok. Thanks for your responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 02:30 AM
1

So you would pick the free spirited twin, over the single mother since she presently has kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 12:33 AM
0

Very well explained.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 09:05 PM
1

😄
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:24 PM
1

Thanks for the comment. Out of curiosity, have you dated a single mother before?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:10 PM
2

Your rationale isn’t wrong. That’s what makes the choice such a difficult one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:09 PM
1

I wouldn’t criticize his response like that. Sure, I can see your perspective where the stepfather is just a “tool” for the child’s benefit. But when you think about it, aren’t all parents like that? I mean, if you take the standard nuclear family, where the husband and wife put each other first, that ultimately brings the most benefit to the children, which is a highly desirable outcome, from the perspective of both biological parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:06 PM
1

Wow! This really puts things in perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:02 PM
1

Make the post! And please share the link here if you do. 😃 I am curious, what would your poll look like? …what characteristics would the twin brothers have that would make the choice very difficult? And in keeping with the theme here, I suggest you describe the two twins in a manner that reflect the typical options real women face in the dating scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:00 PM
1

I totally agree with you. The best predictor for your future behavior is your past. Actions > words
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:47 PM
1

Agreed. I believe the husband and wife should (generally) prioritize each other, over the children. Because without their bond, there is no foundation for the family. And they are the role models to their children for how relationships should be. How to treat each other with love and kindness. When to give grace. When to set firm boundaries. And so much more! Obviously I’m not referring to a moment where a child has an immediate need (e.g. food/health).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:39 PM
1

Well said. That’s the reality we all face, isn’t it. We may not know their true past. Many people will tell us that the past shouldn’t matter. …but is that because they know, deep down, that their past would be considered undesirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:26 PM
1

I’m surprised it took this long for someone to ask me. ☺️ I was faced with this similar scenario in my past. I picked someone who had both traits. She was a single mother, and had a high notch count. That relationship did not end well for any of us. It was terrible… I take full responsibility for my part. Part of which was not dating her long enough to really get to know her and learn about her past. But if I’m being honest, I was so inexperienced back then that I’m not even sure it would’ve mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:18 PM
1

Nope; not an easy choice. 😏 And read again, she’s a single mother, divorcé. (So not a widow)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 02:36 PM
2

😄
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:36 PM
3

Interesting take on it. I suppose it would matter to you why she got divorced as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:36 PM
1

Ok, let’s go with it. Suppose your older and want a family. Do you pick the twin with the starter pack, or the free spirited one?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:34 PM
2

Thanks for giving us a woman’s take on this. Out of curiosity, is there any notch count that would be so high on the male twin that you would consider his twin that’s a single daddy?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:30 PM
1

Thanks for the well thought out reply
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:29 PM
1

Thank you for the comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:28 PM
1

Not so weird. It could be argued that a 30-40 y.o. man will be presented with similar choices today.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:25 PM
1

What factors would be in play for you? Would it matter who filed for divorce and why?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:23 PM
1

let’s roll with that… what if they both had great careers and great personalities. In this hypothetical, the only differences are what is described above. So what does your gut say? …which would you pick for an LTR?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:22 PM
1

😬 Are those women hard to fine? Out of curiosity, what percentage of women in your area, would fit into either of these two categories?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:41 AM
2

That’s funny how you called me out. Touché. I will agree with you, in that I would only invite a woman into a long-term relationship who I could potentially see marrying. In that regard, we could call the LTR, the casting for the marriage role. …And there can only be one, Mrs. islandboy2000 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:37 AM
2

Thanks for the comment. And perhaps there were 50 men before because she never met you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:33 AM
2

😳
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:12 AM
3

That is true in real life. But for the average man, these two types of women are what make up the majority of his options. Heck, sometimes they’re the same woman: a twice-divorced woman, with multiple kids, and a 50+ notch count. What percentage of women in your area could fit in either category?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:09 AM
1

It would be cool to know the demographics of every person that responded. Maybe we could see trends based on experience or age, as you pointed out. This same poll was posted on Twitter and the results were drastically different. 60% chose the single mother, divorcé , and 40% chose the free spirit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 12:59 AM
2

Wow, way to think outside the box.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 12:53 AM
2

All those questions are for the first twin? Great questions, BTW. Do you have questions for the second twin? …or is she totally out of the race?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 12:46 AM
1

I'll take … with the caveat that marriage is off the table. Great response! And I’m referring specifically to the caveat that marriage is off the table. One can apply that caveat to either woman. I believe, The type of woman you invite into an LTR, is not always the same woman you would invite into a marriage. Thanks for your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 12:13 AM
1

I love it! Great question! So let’s go with it. — Of the two twins, which one do you feel would treat you better in a long term relationship? A) single mother, divorcé Or B) the traveling, party woman
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 11:54 PM
3

Very astute. 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 11:07 PM
2

Absolutely they can. Can you think of other qualities that tip the scales in a twin’s favor?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 10:27 PM
1

Let’s say both twins are willing to try.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 10:26 PM
1

Thanks for comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:44 PM
1

Ok, fair response 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:43 PM
1

Presumably, They both have many other redeeming qualities. So play along, which of those qualities would tip the scales in favor of one twin?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:42 PM
2

Ok, I can follow your logic. So you think neither were mature enough when choosing their life path, which resulted in their current state. Having said all that, why pick the single mommy so decisively?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:40 PM
2

Good observation. It’s interesting that this same poll ran on Twitter and the responses were very different. On twitter, about 60% favored the single mommy. 40% the free spirit. Where as here on this sub, it’s clearly favoring the party girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:29 PM
1

Tough choice
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:27 PM
1

They are both the same in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:26 PM
1

Care to elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:22 PM
5

Your rationale made me chuckle
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:21 PM
1

😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:21 PM
2

Savage
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:21 PM
1

😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:20 PM
2

All great questions. And that’s just touching the surface.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:19 PM
1

😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:19 PM
8

Yes. Lol It could be argued that a 30-40 y.o. man will be presented with similar choices today.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:18 PM
3

I can appreciate the thought out answer as well. But I want to home in on your last statement and ask an off topic question. The other option is that she is able to put me above her own children. That makes her a terrible human being. Deal breaker. Is the wife who puts her husband first, who is the father of their own children, a terrible human being as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 04:48 PM
1

Just read all 30+ comments and not a single one of them answers OP’s direct question. 🤦🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 12:27 AM
1

I told my kids that I do give their mother (an undisclosed amount of) money ever month to buy them clothes & foods and for misc outings.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 01:25 PM
1

Yeah, I recall 187 meaning murder from the gangsta rap in the 90s. But it didn’t make sense here with the context … calling it “ murder money” didn’t seem to fit. I don’t know, maybe it’s a local/regional thing they say there. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 04:42 PM
1

Ditto to the advice given already. But what does “187 money” mean?
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:27 PM
3

I know you’re mulling over the principal of the matter, but IF it really is uncontested and $600 will end it, then consider it a parting gift to her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:26 PM
2

You bring up another good point. If your ex-wife remarries, then you can expect coparenting to break even further.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:40 AM
3

I have learned that co-parenting is a myth. Sure it kinda worked in the beginning when the kids were very young. It seemed easy for us to keep the same routines we had from when we lived together. But as the kids got older (teenager years), co-parenting broke down. We had many disagreements on certain parenting decisions and in the end, she ran her house how she wanted, and made decisions without conferring with me. And other times, she blatantly went against our previously agreed upon decisions…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 11:59 PM
2

Lol, chicken nugget didn’t get that my post was done with tongue in cheek 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 11:19 AM
1

Men lack any form of empathy and compassion = not complicated. If they can’t see that sending a gross dick pic to a woman is any different than a decently good looking woman sending a tasteful nude…. Chicken nugget, You made some wrong assumptions... Generally, A man is proud of his body. So for one, he would never consider his dick to be gross. He would likely think it’s, at the least, a decent looking dick, or at best, it’s a magnificent specimen that shared by all women. Secondly, it would ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 01:39 AM
5

My ex used to to try similar crap like this. I fixed it by establishing the communication boundary that all comm. must go through email. (Her) Texts are muted and will not be responded to. Phone calls are for true emergencies only - strictly enforced. This has helped my stress tremendously! It also made our communication more business-like and cordial, whereas with texting, things would often spiral down quickly if she didn’t get what she wanted from me. Imagine if you did this…she wouldn’t resp…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:02 PM
1

Ah, I got you now. Thanks for explaining.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 02:57 PM
1

…he asked if there’s been any domestic violence which I replied no. He said she got some bad information then. I’m curious, can you expand on this more? And Who is “he”, and who is “she” in that last sentence? Did you ask, what that bad info was?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 12:38 PM
1

1) STAY IN THE HOUSE 2) Be cordial. Don’t ever raise your voice, not even 1 decible. Take zero chances with DV. …and yes, yelling at her, could land you in jail for domestic violence and child endangerment (1 felony charge per child), no matter if it’s in front of the children or if they are asleep in their bedrooms. That’s how serious this risk is! Ask me how I know. So Great idea installing cameras. 3) I realize that you’re fine with her being the primary custodian, but don’t give up on the cu…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 12:33 PM
2

I hear ya. I think we’ve all been there. It’s tough when you think that you don’t have much to be optimistic about. I can remember the time when I finally could see a twinkle of light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. I knew then that my darkest days were behind me and things got better, week by week.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:16 PM
2

Do you mean, meeting a potential wife/GF? Or do you mean, meeting ladies that are DTF?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:04 PM
2

That’s all great to hear. Gotta love the peace & quiet. But I’m curious : is your CS tied to whether your son goes to college? I thought it was standard to end CS on their 18th birthday (or when they graduate high school).
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 12:25 PM
2

Don’t even think about relationships for at least 2-3 years. Like my man said above, just drown yourself in pussy. After being married for so long, I came into this “modern” dating scene and was blown away, literally 😉 it was amazing to feel so desired by these women. and then to see them be so willing do any freaky thing for me (without me even asking!). I’m talking about some stuff I hadn’t even seen in porn. 😁 And then perhaps you’ll meet a sweet lady that will heal your heart and then you ca…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:30 PM
3

I just read that post too. I was baffled that nobody chastised the OP’s wife for pulling out the D word, given he had two more weeks to enroll (which is plenty of time). They wanted to focus on what OP had done, or not done, in the past. And they did that so they can make excuses for the wife’s tantrum. SMH Nowadays, if I were to see that tantrum from my wife, I would say. “ OK, let’s get the paperwork And I’ll help you pack your bags”
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:22 PM
1

This is what I was going to say
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:17 PM
1

Whoa! Do tell us more about this! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:16 PM
2

Agreed, unless it’s a widely understood acronym like, LOL or OP. And I thought I could figure it out from the context of the post or replies, but I didn’t see any mention of an affair. But to be frank, seeing “affair” wouldn’t have helped me since I have never used/heard the term “affair partner”. Where I’m from, we commonly refer to them as a cheating whore. So I guess that would be: “CW” 😄
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 08:45 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:34 PM
2

What is an AP?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:02 PM
2

Very well said.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 02:26 AM
2

Yeah, I can imagine how infuriating that was. So were her shenanigans exposed during discovery? And it only seems fair that she owed you half of that money!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:28 AM
2

My question back to you is, did you own this account prior to your marriage? And was it already seeded with the cash? If the answers are yes & yes, then you might able to argue that it is NOT a marital/joint asset, therefore no need to hide it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 12:07 AM
2

Well played.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 12:04 AM
2

I don’t understand, how was it “ok” for her to empty your bank accounts? I presume those were joint accounts, so how does she get to claim all the cash as her separate money? Edit: added the word “don’t”
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 12:03 AM
12

If you disagree so much with your attorney, I recommend talking to a new one. When interviewing the new attorney, ask what his advice and plan would be. If you like what he says, retain him and “fire” the old one.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 04:51 AM
4

Since you’re both technically married and there is no temporary order in place, then you have equal rights to your child. So help me understand why you don’t just go over there and pick him up and bring him back home? Heck, if you want to be less confrontational, pick him up from the new school. And then immediately enroll him in the school that pertains to your home/district. I wouldn’t roll over on this important aspect. If you haven’t heard, judges like to keep status quo, and the longer the …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 07:25 PM
3

Paying child support for the step child is the least of your worries. While there have been a few documented cases of this happening, it’s very rare. The bigger reasons to not date a single parent are…. Well, just look at all the other responses you got.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 09:45 PM
2

Hmm, not so sure about this. How did your legal fees run up to half a million?! …what hill did you die on, so to speak?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 03:44 AM
5

Yup. And we give the same advice. I hope this man listens to us.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 03:42 AM
11

And don’t move out!
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 03:40 AM
1

Lol I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 02:35 PM
1

I kinda figured that’s what was going on. But it sounded good 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 09:34 PM
1

Yep!
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 08:00 PM
1

Interesting! I have 2 daughters and 1 son. So, I too have contemplated this a lot. And I have decided to give my son and daughters different and distinct advice. For my daughters, I will advise/have advised them to maintain their innate value to be the most attractive they can be to their potential mate. And to understand what causes their innate value to decline. We talked about what kind of man she likes and how much female competition there is for that kind of man. We’ve also discussed what h…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 08:00 PM
2

I’m just playing devil’s advocate (I don’t entirely disagree with you) If you had a daughter, who wanted to bear children, would you recommend that she just shack up with a man? …or what?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:41 PM
1

Good wisdom. I have already begun having similar, but age-appropriate, conversations with my young son.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:41 PM
1

I’m just playing devil’s advocate (I don’t entirely disagree with you) If you had a daughter, who wanted to bear children, would you recommend that she just shack up with a man? …or what?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:39 PM
1

Always get a prenup! See my responses in this thread for (some) reasons why.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:38 PM
1

I’m just playing devil’s advocate (I don’t entirely disagree with you) If you had a daughter, who wanted to bear children, would you recommend that she just shack up with a man? …or what?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:37 PM
1

I’m just playing devil’s advocate (I don’t entirely disagree with you) If you had a daughter, who wanted to bear children, would you recommend that she just shack up with a man? …or what?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:36 PM
1

Funny and good point. I can imagine the answers would have been totally different in r/Marriage. Does anyone want to pose the exact same question there? …if so, post the link!
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:23 PM
1

…or you need to be with someone younger later, and a much younger partner can be a real pain in the ass Really, you think so? In my experience, the younger woman I dated have all been a much better experience, overall, than the older woman. I’m generalizing, as there were a couple outliers that bucked the trend (at both ends). A younger woman will (likely) be more fertile, more customizable, and bring less baggage. To me, that’s attractive and totally worth it! Now obviously there are many, many…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:22 PM
3

Ok, thanks for the advice internet friend LMAO You do realize I was speaking in general terms, and not about me personally? I’m good, bro. You?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:47 PM
1

You’re misinterpreting what I said, or at a minimum missing the point. For my heirs to inherit anything, I must have ownership and right of claim, right. Well, imagine a scenario where I don’t have a prenup, so then our joint/marital home would belong to both us, equally while alive…50/50, right. And if our marriage ends (from death, let’s say), then then my wife/widow would own 100% of the house. And then she can do as she wishes with it…she’s under no obligation to even give a fraction of it t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 06:42 PM
2

See below
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:24 PM
15

Agreed. Mid-30’s women living at home doesn’t affect them in the dating market like it does for men. My coworker (who lives at home still) gets dates all the time. If anything, some men have actually preferred it! They told her that with her still living at home with her parents, then she is still under the guidance & protection of her father. So I guess they assume she has not had a bunch dudes come over and pump & dump her. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:23 PM
2

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:17 PM
3

No
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:17 PM
2

I disagree with your assertion about the prenup. It is absolutely not the same as the woman not accepting the family (his) last name. Look, all marriages will end. They either end in death or divorce. So knowing that 100% of marriages end, then it behooves everyone to reject the state’s default contract and draft a customized one for your own situation. For me personally, my concern is to ensure that my heirs receive all of my (non-marital) assets, and their fair share of equity of the marital a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 03:42 PM
15

Yep, or In other words, a man and a woman. That double standard is gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:37 PM
2

I echo many of the other responses here. I switched to email only comm a few years ago and it’s been the best! I wish I had done it earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 02:32 AM
0

Guys, I get where you’re coming from. I do. My ex almost destroyed me in our divorce thanks to the shitty bias the courts have in favor of women. But look at if from a woman’s perspective. I mean, imagine if you have a grown daughter who wants to start a family with her boyfriend. And she is traditional and wants to stay home to raise their kids (your grandchildren). How would you feel if her man suddenly left her after 7 years? she would be screwed! Surely you wouldn’t want to see your daughter…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 05:14 AM
1

We hear this notion a lot…that prenups are not worth the paper they’re printed on. But do we actually have some stats to back that up? I interviewed several family law attorneys recently and the feedback I have gotten is that a properly written prenup holds up well. So long as both parties are honest in their asset/debt disclosures (i.e. there’s no fraud or deceit), and there also isn’t a drastic change in their financials. For example, if the husband goes from making $65k to $500k/yr during the…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 04:49 AM
3

OP, I think you need to clarify to the women that you’re asking about a party where they would expect men there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 09:51 PM
3

Traditionally, the purpose of relationships, and specifically marriage, was to procreate and raise a family together. In modern times, you can make the reason what ever you want. It can be transactional, for sex, for money/business, and/or to share experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:22 PM
2

Glad to hear it! For what it’s worth, I was speaking from my experience in GA where I divorced in 2010’s. I hear that GA has since made similar changes like you mentioned. I hope it’s true
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:43 AM
1

Hey, I want to say one more thing… Don’t discount the 50/50 custody arrangement as such a bad thing for the kids. During the school months, I have my kids Thursday afternoon to Monday morning, every other weekend, plus a Wednesday on the off weeks. But then we switch to a different schedule in the summer, where they stay for a full week on, and then back to her for a week, with the exchange on Sunday. The full week on, week off is far superior for everyone, especially my kids. For one, the sched…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:41 AM
1

You have a lawyer you need to pay anyway; might as well make it worth it.. You make it seem like there is just a onetime fee to the lawyer, and he does all this work for you. Lol Bruh, you do realize they bill by the hour. So there would obviously be a huge difference in billable hours when comparing a 3-hr mediation session vs a full blown legal battle in the courts, lasting 1-2 years +
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:28 AM
2

That’s a Wrong assumption on your part. You def want an attorney in the room with you during mediation. In fact, typically there are 3 in the room: yours, hers, and the mediator.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:24 AM
5

This was a very mature response to that random guy on Reddit accusing you of giving up on your kids. Kudos to you, sir
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:21 AM
1

By going straight to mediation, you could hammer it out in one session, if you’re both agreeable and willing to compromise. Then it’s a simple matter of getting in front of a judge for the court’s approval of your settlement agreement. So it’s possible to be divorced in under 3 months. But if I were you, I would hold your cards close to your chest, so to speak. Don’t let on that you’re willing to roll over so fast on the house and kids. Start off saying that you want custody and you want the hou…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 11:06 PM
3

Because it’s an uphill battle for a father to gain even 50/50 custody. So even after spending $40k, you’re likely to get the every other weekend deal anyway. I hear some states have recently changed their family law in favor of the father, so maybe he has a chance.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 11:03 PM
2

Ok, maybe not in those cases. But what do I know 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 07:43 PM
16

Hmm, do you think some view this genre as fantasizing, being the bull and fucking another dude’s wife?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 06:32 PM
2

😬
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 11:33 PM
1

Did you mean: over 20?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 11:34 AM
1

Thanks for clarifying. So in you’re situation, what would have happened if your wife took the kid to the EU?…would you be stuck home alone, waiting for their return? …could have have gotten a legal order then, forcing your spouse to return the child immediately?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 03:47 PM
1

That makes absolutely no sense. While it may not be technically “kidnapping”, it surely is illegal to refuse access to a parent. Wherever the kids go, the parent(s) go. So if she took the kids to her mother’s home, for example, then he , as their father must be allowed access to be with the kids. Unless there is a custody order in place that specifies the parenting schedule, then BOTH parents have access to the child(ren) at ALL times.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 02:56 PM
2

I’ll echo what everyone else is saying… these times are hard, very hard. But it will get better. We’re not all just saying that. Personally, it was The Worst time in my life. But I endured and it got better. In fact, my life is multiple times better than before. It was a hard journey though. I didn’t do it alone. I leaned on family, friends, and professional counseling. Take action today in a positive direction! Even if it’s just to walk or exercise.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:45 PM
1

If she was a great mother and raised them how he wanted to. then I’d tell him, “that’s money well worth spent. “
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 04:20 AM
0

Ah, gotcha. I see the comm. issue… you thought I was generalizing whereas I was being specific to JLMsquared.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 08:45 PM
1

Your reply is hard to follow, bro. Who is “they” and “their”? And to clarify, my presumption is that JLMsquared and his wife decided as a family, that he would work, and she would stay at home. Can you edit your post for clarity and then I’ll respond?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 08:18 PM
1

Well said, good job man
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 05:05 PM
-5

Hang on fellas. We don’t know all the facts yet. Let’s just say for arguments sake, his wife stayed home to raise both his children. Would you agree there is some value in that? …would you agree a spouse who stayed home to forgo their career/income should be compensated? We can probably agree about the (high) amount of 3750.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 03:44 PM
0

Ok, yeah, sounds like the typical modern woman then. I mean, no offense; that’s very common now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 01:08 AM
1

And now you have me curious… how would you raise your daughter, with regards to marriage/LTR?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 09:16 PM
1

I’m not following you. Are you saying with certainty, that there is not a single woman in America that would submit to her husband’s leadership, and stay home to raise his children, etc.?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 09:16 PM
1

What you say is true, but I’ll copy/paste my response to a similar comment: You may have a point. But good luck finding a woman who would partake in such agreement (without the safety net of marriage). We have to admit… that finding a traditional woman Who will follow our leadership, stay home to raise our babies, fulfill our fantasies in bed, and have our backs through thick and thin, are hard to find! And to put them in such a vulnerable position without the safety net of a marriage contract w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:16 PM
3

Same here brother. I wish I had a male role model/mentor that I trusted who would have steered me away from those red flags, that looking back, we’re glaringly obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:14 PM
5

Oh hell Naw! I don’t date single moms! For those reason you list and more.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:10 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. I’ll watch later…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:45 PM
1

Good to hear it. So yeah, you want to be sure what ever monies get mixed can later be unmixed, for a lack of a better word. For example, if you pay 77% towards your marital home, then you expect to get 77% equity out of it should you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:44 PM
1

Fair lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:42 PM
2

I’m sorry I was condescending
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 11:03 AM
3

Thanks man. Water under the bridge. :) And interesting info. I hadn’t heard of those, so thanks for citing. It does makes sense though…that a bad marriage/relationship can be worse for the kids (and everyone involved). I’m better off divorced and I want to believe my kids are too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:11 AM
2

I thought the same too; in fact, I had a list of qualities for my next girlfriend so long, that I thought it was impossible. I sure had fun dating and looking though! But I found a young lady that checked most of the boxes, and continues checking more (despite me not sharing my list; she has no idea). So we’ll see where this goes… Keep your head up and enjoy the search… date outside your comfort zone and try new things.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:43 PM
4

Really dude?? I responded with a light hearted comment, and you responded with such disdain. We’re all on the same side here, bud. And it’s not like I spurted some outlandish belief. Hell, common sense would dictate that a good father and good mother in the house is ideal. Hence my initial comment that one (main) purpose for marriage is to raise a family.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:41 PM
2

I totally agree with you, hence that’s why I divorced my ex. But I will take responsibility and own the fact that I did not choose their mother wisely. I did not vet her long enough and I will admit I made some mistakes along the way too. So at least I can say I have learned from those mistakes. I will do better going forward
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:14 PM
1

You may have a point. But good luck finding a woman who would partake in such agreement (without the safety net of marriage). We have to admit… that finding a traditional woman Who will follow our leadership, stay home and raise our babies, fulfill our fantasies in bed, and have our backs through thick and thin, are hard to find! And to put them in such a vulnerable position without the safety net of a marriage contract would be even harder. Think of it this way… if you raised a traditional daug…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:55 PM
3

Sure, you and I are the exceptions (I turned out ok too). And you’re right, subsequent marriages to the wrong person (again) could be even worse than staying divorced. I will admit, dating (with intent to marry and having a family) in this modern time is extremely difficult and can be dangerous to your health, wallet, and freedom. Good luck out here!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:51 PM
4

My name is Islandboy, not “Google”.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:49 PM
2

Those are just stories. Talk to any qualified family law attorney and they will tell you that a well written prenup, vetted by both sides can work. The problem with prenups is when one (or both) lie/withhold financial data. You have to be completely transparent! And of course if the circumstances drastically change, such as birth of children and/or one spouse stays home, then a judge could throw out a poorly drafted agreement. But here again, a well drafted prenup will take into account these (c…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:46 PM
14

The statistics prove it. That’s all I’m saying. So outside of raising a family, then NO…no reason to marry. The issue I have found is , co-parenting is mostly a myth. Ex-wives rarely check in with us, per se. They mostly do what they want and then send the kids to us to try to fix on our limited time. (Other divorced dads can back me up on this!) Personally, I have come to the realization that my kids would benefit greatly from having a (good) stepmother in my household. The big caveat is that m…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:36 PM
1

Good attitude
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:18 PM
7

Raising a family. That’s the big one. Children almost always do better coming from a two-parent household.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:18 PM
2

So you do the exact same with your male buddies too?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 05:23 PM
2

I hear you. But I would rather have my wife stay home to raise my children. So that means getting a (well vetted) prenup! And I do see the other side. I believe there should be some fairness (read: financial payment) if I were to initiate a divorce after she stayed home to raise my children for decades. But on the other hand, if she initiates a no-fault divorce, then she better get a job!
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 05:21 PM
2

I am not attracted to her physically. Haven't been for years maybe even from before our marriage Am I to understand you were NOT attracted to her prior to marriage? …Then why did you marry her?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 02:12 PM
1

This was my point…that a child at home, being raised by their parent is better than a typical daycare. And I asked him if he was willing to watch his grandchildren since he believed it was better for his son and daughter-in-law to be at work instead of raising their kids. But he just answered my question with a bunch of questions. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 10:26 PM
2

Who is best to raise the children, if not the parents themselves? Are you going to offer to watch your grandchildren while your son and daughter-in-law go to work?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 05:08 PM
20

Remove the child from the pics, immediately. Sure, mention it in your profile, but it’s too early for sharing pics (of your kid) with strangers. Besides, you want them to see you as more than a “dad”.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 06:48 PM
4

Totally agree! You can hash out all the splits and deals now, while things are amicable. It may cost you $2k-4k, but that is a small fraction of the cost of a contested divorce. And let’s be honest… tough conversations will be had, and they may even lead to a divorce if the convos take a left. But as you stated, your current state is more favorable for you to divorce in.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 02:14 PM
1

A reminder to the child is good . And so is an encouragement to call or FaceTime or make a homemade card. Beyond that, like buying gifts and cards, is totally unnecessary. I wouldn’t spend a penny on her. As they get older and need assistance ordering something using their own money, then sure, I’d facilitate that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 02:01 PM
5

Happened to my best friend… It all went down after his wife came home after fucking her co-worker. He had gut feeling this had been going on for some time, and on that Sunday she claimed she had to put in “extra hours at work”. So he asked me to watch the kids, and to come over the second she left. He was able to follow her car, saw her go into the man’s apartment. Then came back to relieve me. She came home at night, after the kids were asleep in bed. He confronted her with the evidence (pictur…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 09:44 PM
1

Thanks for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 03:01 PM
1

If you find the costs unreasonably high you can look for something better, present that as an alternative, and if there is no reasonable objection (too far, unsafe, etc) then either that's where they go or that's what you pay 60% of and she can send them elsewhere on her dime for all additional costs. You actually said a reasonable compromise there. And that’s funny you mention this because I proposed the exact same thing. Background: The kids used to go to a daycare/academy when they were young…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 02:46 PM
1

You found affordable (free because it's you) child care for her working hours when she needs child care. Is that for the occasional day or every work day? While you may be capable of working and having the kids she isn't required to want that same arrangement. That's why childcare is a thing to begin with. My offer was to watch them for her entire week (during work hours), or for a single day as well. Either way, I would love to have my kids here with me. And yes, you are correct in that she’s f…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 02:36 PM
1

I have no desire to send my kids anywhere. I work from home and have no need for 3rd-party care. Furthermore, the summer time is when we travel to go visit family or go on family vacations to the beach. Bear in mind, I have limited time with them in the summer; only 4 weeks (alternating: 1 week on, 1 week off). So I (and my family) want to spend as much time as possible with them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 01:04 PM
1

I don’t have any doubt that they would enjoy a camp; but that’s irrelevant to the matter at hand. It’s her choice to do what she wants during her parenting time, and I’m respectful of that. — Although, not gonna lie, I’m sad she didn’t accept my offer to let me keep them during the day since she doesn’t want to watch them. — If she chooses to send them to a variety of camps all summer, then by all means go for it…it’s her money (and my child support). And the kids would probably enjoy it. Nevert…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:42 PM
1

Yeah, I didn’t think of it at the time either. But no matter, the law (at that time) did not allow for such reduction language when kids age out. Sigh… It would hope that it’s standard practice now, though. And your bring up a good point about (not knowing) the cost for multiple children is not a linear progression. There are so many nuances to family law, like that one, that it’s impossible for the layman to know them all. Aside from death, marriage carries the most legal ramifications. But do …
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 04:50 PM
3

Yeah, I agree. I even gave her the example of, what if I decided to send the kids to space camp and then send her the bill for 38%. So that’s was the point I tried to make… there must be a cap. And since all we have to go by is, that 2-sentence clause then I believe the cap is what the ASP would charge for a week. And sigh… I wish our attorneys & mediator had the wisdom to put better language in our settlement agreement; they’re should’ve known this this type of vague language could be misinterp…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 02:06 AM
-2

I agree with you, in principle. She is being very unreasonable IMO considering you don’t have much parenting time. For clarity, did you not keep him during that week at all? It sounds like you gave up your vacation and your parenting week. Which is why she’s holding it against you. Was it not possible for you to care for him while he was sick? I have no idea what the family court would decide. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 12:02 AM
3

Even though $5k is about half of the CS for that timeframe, your comments sound like good wisdom there. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:56 PM
3

Re: hiring an attorney, I would have to do a risk/reward analysis to see if it’s worth it. I’m looking at saving 11 months of CS vs legal fees.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:48 PM
2

Thanks for the info. So are you saying that if neither of us files for discovery, then the court will use the data from the original calculations? And for what it’s worth, no agency collects the support; I pay her directly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 11:30 PM
1

First, I’m feel sad for your situation. How awful! So I’ll throw this out there… If leaving your wife is not an “option” for you now (which I highly recommend you consider since you’re not that old to start a new relationship). Then you may want to take her up on her offer for the open marriage. Treat the marriage like a business arrangement. And as the say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new 😈
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:48 PM
3

I gotcha. Side note, I just posted a question to the group a couple of minutes ago about child support modification. If you have any insight on my situation, I’d appreciate it. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/svugvy/child_support_modification/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:39 PM
2

Well, that didn’t answer the question as to why your modification request was denied (back then). But I understand why you wouldn’t want to pursue it now if you’re so close to the end.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 10:22 PM
4

That’s so odd to me. Why do you think her new/higher income didn’t matter? …were there other circumstances?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:43 PM
5

Can you clarify? …did you actually go back to court and ask for an adjustment based on the income?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:33 PM
6

Bruh, I had almost the exact same experience and feelings too. My first grand splurge on myself felt amazing too. And I didn’t just stop there with that one purchase. It led to more and more decisions of putting myself first, including what to do with my time and who to spend it with. I felt so liberated and became a new man. It’s worth noting that I read more (e.g. self improvement books) and consumed a lot edutainment type content of YouTube. And the results carried over into other areas of my…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 07:59 AM
3

Solid
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 09:01 PM
3

“Too many people view relationships as a right and not a privilege, and that’s a huge problem.” There! I fixed the title for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 08:59 PM
1

Dude, I’m not arguing. I was genuinely asking for the source so that I can share it (because I know they will ask). If you don’t have it readily available, that’s fine too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 05:25 PM
1

That was a study regarding the ratio of index finger to ring finger. Where’s the source saying that men were skeptical of slutty women, thus France passed a law making it illegal for men to seek genetic testing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 09:34 PM
0

I just a thought experiment. Have fun with it. Even if it’s to give a ridiculous answer for a ridiculous question..
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 05:22 AM
1

Google is your friend. Just cut it out. You’re obviously arguing just for the sake to argue. And then you scream, “show me your sources!” Come on dude, This is basic common sense. Globally, the average is closer to 10. Unless you’re from India, where it is only 3. So where are you from with your average 40? Y’all be wildin’ 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 05:16 AM
1

You’re supposed to have fun with it. Pick one girl, and make any justification that you want… it can be just as ridiculous as the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 05:02 AM
1

It’s a thought experiment. You’re supposed to have fun with it. Pick one girl, and make any justification that you want… it can be just as ridiculous as the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 05:01 AM
1

Why are you arguing?? 40 is def above average when you look across all cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 04:59 AM
1

Maybe the most real answer here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 04:57 AM
1

Hah! Got ‘em
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 04:56 AM
1

Do you have a source? I want to share this with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 03:24 AM
15

She’s an entrepreneur! 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 03:13 AM
2

Too funny!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 03:12 AM
1

Fair enough. I did sense some irony in reading your post because typically it’s the husband/father that’s slides down to the #2 or #3 spot, after the child and pets. So it was kind of funny to see a woman share a perspective that typically men feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 03:41 PM
2

Look, I get it… you are generalizing based on what you personally have seen (but not experienced yourself). The fact of the matter is that regardless if the couple is married or not, one or both parents can petition to a court to establish a formal parenting time. Now if a person chooses to do otherwise, that’s just plain foolish. And therefore dating a fool is a foolish decision in itself. Can we all agree to that?! 😃 Back to my original point… the baby mama is never a priority. I’m not saying …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 03:30 PM
-1

Lol! You totally misread my tone. I’m not upset at all. Actually laughed at your ridiculous statement You don’t know what you’re talking about. Parents don’t control access to the children, the courts do. There’s a very clear parenting plan signed off by a judge. If either parent goes against the judge’s orders, they are in contempt and will face repercussions. The mother doesn’t control access any more than the father does. Source: I am single dad. I haven’t had to see, nor speak directly to my…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 02:41 PM
2

Interesting take on it. (And totally understandable) But I must ask: Do you think it would be different if you and your spouse make a child of your own? Meaning, do you think you will remain #1 to him after his child is born? …maybe you will. Orrrr, you could still slide down to the #2 spot regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 01:57 PM
2

Does his life revolve around his kid’s parenting time? …Well duh! Just like your life revolves around your work schedule. But to make a ridiculous (generalized) statement that says a man’s life revolves around his ex is stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 01:51 PM
1

This is a ridiculous statement, Shaiziin. You know as well as we do…. Generally, people don’t want to hang out with their exes (men or women). And exes will never be a priority. …the kids, of course. But never an Ex. Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. (I’m not saying that there isn’t one or two guys in the world who might be the exception. But it’s def not the norm)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 01:49 PM
1

I’m have noted it for now. I need to perform a cost/benefit analysis to determine if it’s worth paying my attorney to get involved. It may only take a strongly worded letter from him to have her comply. Others here have mentioned to pay for a policy (on her) out of my own pocket. If we go to court (or mediations) again, I may use that opportunity to alter the wording so that we set up a trust instead. And there are a couple of other things I’d like to modify while we’re all together. …Some laws …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 01:50 AM
2

What the hell are you taking about. You add no value to this thread…not even humor
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 07:07 PM
1

Oh, I gotcha. Thanks bud
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 12:01 AM
1

Naw, I didn’t hate women. I just hated one specific woman. I found so much joy and entertainment from meeting new women and expanding what I considered to by my “type”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 08:31 PM
1

I found it to be a waste of time. It can only be remotely successful if BOTH parties are wanting to the save the marriage. But if one person is (secretly) already checked out, it’s a waste of time and money. I did individual therapy and grew immensely from it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 08:26 PM
2

Here is a list of mistakes that I made: 1) The first mistake was not during the divorce, but rather during the dating stage. I simply didn’t vet the girlfriend well enough and ignored many red flags. 2) I should’ve moved out of the apartment and started a 50/50 custody arrangement before filing for divorce. Judges love keeping status quo when it’s already working. 3) Not interviewing several different attorneys. I hired the first one I called and he turned out to be a bad fit for me. I changed a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 08:21 PM
2

Bear in mind that once the court proceedings begin, there will be a freeze on all assets and cash. Neither of you will be able to drain accounts or sell property. And I’ll echo what others have responded with here too: once attorneys get involved, then expect your previous arrangements and agreements with your wife to change (to her benefit). So be very cautious about leaving the marital home. If you don’t want the house, then consider selling it right now. In this hot market, it could be sold i…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 07:53 PM
3

This is sad to hear. You’re smart to stay in the home, but I highly, HIGHLY recommend you invite a friend or family member over to support you tomorrow while her and the “strangers” are there. Emotions will be charged and there could be conflict regarding certain possessions. I realize it’s a big ask for them to be involved. but hey, this is what family and friends are for… to support you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 07:40 PM
1

Excellent goal to aim for should it come to that. Thanks again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 05:20 PM
2

I love this idea! I wish we would’ve thought of this instead. Great input. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:28 PM
2

You too? What island did you grow up on?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:46 PM
1

Damn, this might be accurate.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 01:49 PM
1

Thanks for the advice. I will seriously consider this. And yes. She is bad with money. Meaning she’s a heavy consumer and doesn’t save any of it. I have to be intellectually honest and say, she does contribute to the children. After all, she has primary custody. But obviously my child support helps her/them a LOT.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 07:20 AM
0

Dude, you’re coming across a bit insensitive. It’s not clear if you mean to or not, but that’s how I’m perceiving you right now. It’s as if you think this is a trivial matter and that I shouldn’t give this issue much thought. Or just leave it for my attorney to deal with while he bills me hundreds of dollars an hour. I mean, I agree that our exes shouldn’t consume our thoughts. And we should all let go of the past. But you speak like a man who’s divorce is fully settled and you have no children.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 06:50 AM
4

You’re assuming she has an estate to sue. Lol Sadly, she has a negative net worth. So now knowing this, would you still just let that shit go? Remember, this is obligated to the children. Put yourself in my son’s shoes. How would you feel if you were 18 and didn’t get a 5-figure payout that was promised. And then to find out that your dad just let your mom get away with it, without putting up any kind of fight? Personally, I would want to be able to tell my son, I tried to hold her accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 05:34 AM
5

It’s not for the rest of our lives. It’s for 10 years. And bear in mind, we’re already tied for these 10 years by the fact that we have shared custody.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 05:00 AM
1

That’s great! So now take advantage of that social network during your (soon to be) new found free time! And I’m glad to hear your not taking the easy lay ups with those adulterous skanks. You just uncomplicated your life; don’t jump back into crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:59 AM
2

👊🏼 (It’s ok to use emojis.)
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:54 AM
1

To answer your question, we’re both required to maintain a policy with a certain amount, for the ultimate benefit of the children. They are minors, therefore cannot be named beneficiaries legally. Hence we must name each other. So as you can see, if she dies, my kids get screwed. This isn’t about me. I’m concerned for what is rightfully obligated to my son and daughter. And as of now, her net worth is negative. So there will be no suing of her estate. (This one actually made me laugh). You bring…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:49 AM
3

Nice TED talk. :) I would agree and add… when the inevitable question comes up about why you divorced your ex. Be honest about your mistakes. And talk about what you learned. And don’t bad-mouth your ex too much. This will show you have moved on and have grown.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:43 AM
1

My dude, I used to think the same. I then made a list of qualities that my dream girl would have. I honestly didn’t think the woman existed…not these days. But hey, if I ever did meet her, then I would consider marriage with her. So no, I wasn’t leading them on, when I answered the ladies with, “Yes, I will consider marriage with the right woman.” After lots and lots of fun, I eventually met a young lady who checked off many things on my list. She was by no means perfect, but she was very cooper…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:03 AM
6

I second this! I also forced myself to go outside my comfort zone too. And dated new people that I would’ve never dated before. I had so much fun. Online dating worked pretty good for me; I met good ones and some bad. (But that was a few years ago; I hear it’s gotten worse since then). But frankly, the women I met in real life were of better quality. They were hotter, younger, had no children, never married, and dependable.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:33 AM
3

This is great to hear! And I’ll copy/paste what I responded earlier… Just keep things easy breezy. You’re heart will let you know when you’re ready for a relationship with more substance. Pro tip: Don’t bad-mouth your ex. In fact, don’t even talk about her unless necessary. Take ownership for your mistakes. The ladies will admire that you have grown and moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:30 AM
5

Hey man. That’s ok. Take the time to heal. But don’t wait too long. Just keep things easy breezy. You’re heart will let you know when you’re ready for a relationship with more substance. Pro tip: Don’t bad-mouth your ex. In fact, don’t even talk about her unless necessary. Take ownership for your mistakes. The ladies will admire that you have grown and moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:27 AM
1

Maybe you did. But See above
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:04 AM
1

You’re going to be disqualified by many quality woman with that hard rule. You should convey to them that you would be open to marriage with The right woman (and mean it). Your pool of woman to choose from will be so much bigger. The next big question she will ask is, “will you want (more) children in the future?” So be prepared for that question too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:03 AM
2

Those rules always makes me chuckle. Lol I can second what Wartime is saying. I dabbled with OLD (met some good ones and some bad) but meeting them in person was always more fun. And they tended to be higher quality women too (hotter, younger, no kids, never married, dependable).
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:00 AM
1

My dude, have you considered dropping the volunteer work? I’m sure everyone will recognize you have a lot on your plate and would totally understand. Take some time to heal and be social and do something fun (that doesn’t involve children)… and meet some new ladies while you’re at.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:52 AM
2

I realize this comment is late, but for those who are reading this later… Start the 50/50 custody arrangement immediately! One other thing that Georgia judges like, is to maintain status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:47 AM
1

👍🏼
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:29 PM
-1

Yeah, I get that. But do you also consider sweat and dander to be health concerns as well? I’m trying to understand where you draw a line, if any.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:21 PM
-1

Hmm, I see your point. But I also see the other side. Vitamins can be prescribed, so that’s definitely part of health care and can be considered medicine. But pads/tampons and such can be considered personal care items. Like antiperspirant or dander shampoo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:17 PM
1

Are you saying your FSA won’t cover tampons?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:01 PM
-1

⁠menstrual products should be considered healthcare This is new to me. Why do you think it should be wrapped into healthcare when it’s a normal, healthy function of a woman’s body?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 07:57 PM
4

What?? Lol You gotta be trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 01:58 AM
2

Yeah, most likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:05 PM
6

Do you honestly think that a <5 thinks she’s a 8+? I really don’t think women are that delusions (sure you might get an outlier here and there, but c’mon now). Ok, I’ll concede. It’s not likely that she’s <5 and think she’s 8+. But what is likely is, that she is exactly a 5…just a basic, average chick. But due to all the attention she gets from men, plus the compliments from the other women in her life, she likely has an inflated ego and believes she’s pretty or beautiful (i.e. 8 or 9) Also, you…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 09:39 PM
10

I genuinely don't think women as a collective are as delusional as men think. This is where we disagree. By definition, the average woman would be rated as a “5”. Therefore, most women are 5’s. Now go tell your average-looking girl friends they are a “5” and I bet they will be insulted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 09:22 PM
1

It sounds like your operating from a perspective that my ugly sister has an abundance of good suitors to choose from. Whereas I’m thinking she does not!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 09:16 PM
-1

I would care if that were my sister or daughter. Wouldn’t you??
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:59 PM
10

The one problem I can see with having an over inflated self image (i.e. you think you’re a 9 when in reality you’re a 4) is that you pass over potential mates because you think they are below your level. And in doing so, you miss good matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:58 PM
1

The one problem I can see with having an over inflated self image (i.e. you think you’re a 9 when in reality you’re a 4) is that you pass over potential mates because you think they are below your level. And in doing so, you miss good matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:22 PM
5

… they will be forever alone and never happy. Is that your interpretation? My understanding is that they want to be alone, and are happy with their decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 08:33 PM
1

This made me, legit LOL I obviously don’t have the time, nor desire to teach you all those things, especially not over text. Besides, you said you didn’t want to debate. But it’s suffice to say a father will teach his son all those things, AND MORE, starting at early age. This will give him a big advantage in life over his peers who were raised by single mothers. 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 12:58 AM
1

Glad you asked! Here are a few examples of what I can teach my son better than his mother can: How to be masculine, tips on how to bathe/groom, how to socialize with other men, how & when to use his physical strength (and when to use his intellect instead), how to attract women, and to pass on my experiences of being a man in this world. One could say that his mother could teach him these things as well, but I will argue that I will do it BETTER. There are nuances that she won’t know of or how t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 12:36 AM
1

Gotcha. I didn’t consider that scenario. I was thinking more like the woman selected/approved the “bull” and then throughly enjoyed herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 10:17 PM
1

That makes a lot of sense!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 09:29 PM
1

I suppose you’re right. Especially nowadays where any information is available. But I imagine there are some experiences and lessons that would easily be passed down from a parent of the same gender as the child (and from the opposite gender, as well). And while that info could be looked up, one would first have the desire/need to look it up in the first place. Sometimes you don’t know, what you don’t know. So I’ll stand by my statement that, a good mother and a good father is best. (Note: there…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 07:33 PM
1

Hmm, so you’re saying it’s more degrading to the wife, than the husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 07:24 PM
1

I agree with most of that, however I would say having a good mother and a good father is the ideal. I.E. gender does matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:43 PM
1

Well said! That’s why folks should date with intention, vet them, and “marry before you carry”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:56 PM
1

Your question is invalid, as it takes plenty more than just good morals and values (in addition to the basic necessities) to raise any child.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:53 PM
1

I tend to disagree (now). I used to be naive and think that a single parent is capable. But I have since realized that a child needs influences from both, mother and father. Are their exceptions?…of course there are! And it also depends on how we define “capable” and to what standard we measure the “success”. Hint: I think it takes more than just passing down good morals and values.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:52 PM
1

Well said! There are some folks that think that (a single mother) teaching their boy good morals and values is good enough to raise a good man. …and they’re delusional! I can remember my mother trying to guide me through dating and her advice was shit! I mean, sure, some of it was good, but most of it was bad because it came from her perspective of what she would look for in a mate. Which is obviously different than what a young man is looking for in a girlfriend/wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:43 PM
2

It’s interesting that you went to that extreme comparison: single mom > abusive father. that’s obvious! What are your thoughts on a single dad raising a boy vs a single mom raising a boy (and let’s assume both have good morals, and neither parent is abusive/negligent)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:38 PM
2

Bingo! I’m all for marriage under the right circumstances and motivations. But I won’t get on board with the default marriage contract. That is why pre-nups should be more common practice where the couple can draft their own marital contract and be fully aware of the outcomes (and negotiate them too) should the relationship fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:15 PM
4

Your response is showing your naïveté again. I don’t have the time to fully dissect all your points. But I will agree with you that vetting must be done throughly beforehand, as well as dating with intention in mind. However, people do often change, And it isn’t alway from a poor choice, nor is the outcome necessarily “bad”, as you put it. Often, the changes can be considered neutral. For example, the person may become more extroverted, or they become less active, or pick up new hobbies, or more…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:09 PM
3

Lol yeah, I don’t know how it works either. But folks, be careful not to fall for the ole’ , “you might as well…”, fallacy. For example: You were both virgins… you might as well wife her up Or You lived together long enough…you might as well wife her up Or You got her pregnant…you might as well wife her up
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:01 AM
5

Umm, wouldn’t you have to search for a legal document even if you were married? (i.e. the marriage certificate, which proves she is, indeed the wife of sine120)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:23 AM
9

Oh darling, the red flag is, YOU! And I mean that, metaphorically, and literally. You sound naive (or inexperienced). People change, especially over decades. And what if that person is you? What if it’s you that makes the mistake and your spouse can’t stay married to you. reminder: you’re human and capable of mistakes too!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:17 AM
17

You make MANY good points for marriage. And many are very valid. However, a marriage can fail for reasons out of your control. And no amount of vetting and background checks will prevent it. And people aren’t “blaming marriages on failed relationships” (not sure how you made that generalization). People do blame our Family Law and courts for ruining people (mostly men) financially. And then some people (mostly fathers) lose access and control to their children. A wise man told me two things: 1) …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 03:45 AM
2

Read my mind
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 03:34 AM
4

That makes a lot of sense. I’m no attorney, but I assume you could have those privileges attained via legal documents. (Obviously this depends on the country/state that you live in).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 03:31 AM
2

These comments that make blanket statements of not caring what other women do sound disingenuous to me. What if that other woman is your mother, or daughter…Would you form any judgment about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:51 PM
2

Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 03:25 AM
1

Because they think you’re being disingenuous. Women , for better or worse, are stereotyped to be the more social and the more emotional of the genders. Thus, the scenario given is expected to illicit sad emotions and jealousy to the newer girlfriend/wife. Because he treated his previous wife (or worst yet, wives) better. ( by traditional standards)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 03:02 AM
6

Bruh, she made up her mind already… She can’t possible see that women lie too, and that they manipulate men too. Sadly, it’s pretty common in modern dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 02:53 AM
1

What does copium mean? (Dictionary had 0 results)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 11:56 PM
2

Bingo! Woman (and men) need to date with intention and then communicate that cleary upfront. E.G. if you’re marriage-minded, then that should be expressed by the 2nd date and hopefully that will weed out the casual pump N dumpers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 04:19 PM
3

Well said!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 01:55 PM
2

First, I agree with your sentiment. But I’d like to point out: a man’s most valuable resource is his time. So splitting the bill is great, but let’s not waste each other’s time either. Edit: one could argue that a woman’s time is even more valuable, considering she has a “biological clock” to consider.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 01:54 PM
2

Yes, thank you for the well-explained response.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 09:28 PM
1

Great response
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 09:27 PM
1

Funny!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:54 PM
1

Yeah, agreed. not the best example. Lol especially for someone who has lots of options.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:46 PM
1

Great response. BTW: I reframed OP’s question here to illicit more responses https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:45 PM
1

I reframed the OP’s question. Let me know your thoughts https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:41 PM
2

I just posted a new comment that reframed OP’s original question. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:39 PM
1

I just posted a new comment that reframed OP’s original question. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:39 PM
1

I just posted a new comment that reframed OP’s original question. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:39 PM
1

I just posted a new comment that reframed OP’s original question. Take a look and let me know your thoughts. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:38 PM
1

I personally don’t think it’s smart to compromise on essential desires. I just posted a new comment that reframed OP’s original question. Take a look and let me know your thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:38 PM
1

I posted a new comment. Let’s see if it gets any traction. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/raasss/does_your_partners_past_sexual_experiences/hni5j7b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:36 PM
1

Hey OP, I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to amend your question to a more specific scenario. (Because many of the responses say they would never be in the relationship to begin, regardless if the sex act was done prior or not. Point being, if it’s not done now, then don’t get into the relationship) …. Men or ladies: Let’s say the sex act in question isn’t so essential to your overall satisfaction. For example, maybe you want your asshole licked every now and then. Again, not crucial to yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:35 PM
1

Lol. Sounds like you’re missing the premise of the question. Heck, let’s say the sex act is PIV. Do you still maintain the relationship or break it off?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:34 PM
1

Ok. Good answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:33 PM
2

That’s a cop out answer. You’re trying to save face now, I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:31 PM
1

I agree with you, where the act is important to me and it’s not happening, then yes, I would leave, regardless of prior history. But, I wonder if it changes things for you if the sex act isn’t so essential to your happiness. Like maybe you want your asshole licked every now and then. Again, not crucial to your total satisfaction, but, every now and then, you want unbridled sex, dammit! Lol So let’s say 2 years into your relationship you finally ask, “I want you to lick my ass right now”. And the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:19 PM
1

Let’s say it happens just as often as if the gender roles were reversed. Would you, BrundleKitten, leave the relationship if you found out that your BF used to do <insert something YOU like> a lot in his prior relationships and with fuck buddies, but chooses not to do it with you now?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:14 PM
1

I totally agree with you. If you have the knowledge before the relationship, then I agree, there wouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. But I was looking at OP’s question as if it’s something you learn after you’re in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:56 PM
1

Cool! Thank you for clarifying
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:53 PM
1

Great response!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:53 PM
1

What did I say that was a “wild scenario”? You were the one coming up with wild scenarios and you still didn’t answer my direct questions. Read again… And in the 2nd example, I said that he used to buy “lavish gifts”. No where did I say he blew all his money. I was clear, he has the capacity to spoil you as well, he just chooses not to. You’re being very disingenuous. And You made a sexist remark.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:47 PM
1

I think you might get better (more genuine) responses from the women if you phrased the question in a more gender-neutral manner. Or simply take “sex” out of it and make it about something money-related.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:38 PM
2

It seems like you’re neglecting the point of OP’s question. All the examples you gave are acts that you’re not interested in currently. But suppose you change your mind? orrrrr a better question would be, suppose the sex act is essential for your enjoyment…would you have married him or would it have been a deal breaker?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:36 PM
2

Well said. Yeah, regardless if they used to do it then or not. The fact that they’re aren’t doing it now, is the problem. Break it off and move on. I.E. it’s a deal breaker regardless
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:34 PM
2

You touched on the exact point of OP’a question. So can you clarify for us… So yes, let’s assume this sex act is essential for your overall enjoyment. And you learned that he used to do it a LOT. Would you continue the relationship even though “his comfort trumps your preference”?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:31 PM
2

This sounds like all your sexual needs/desires are being met right now. Which is fantastic! But what if your husband wouldn’t do <insert your favorite sex act>, and through discussions you learn he used to do it a lot, with all his previous girlfriends (yes, plural). Would you have married him?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:29 PM
1

Your response is confusing. It sounds like you’re saying it would be a dealbreaker since you would move on to another relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:25 PM
2

I didn’t see your answer. OP asked if it’s a dealbreaker. And you said that “this is insulting and insensitive.” So are we to infer that it would NOT be a dealbreaker for YOU? …so even if you learned that those acts they did in the past are something you like very much… and you would very much want to do those sex acts… Would you still stay in a relationship with them, having this knowledge of their past? Can you answer the question without stating that the topic is insensitive or insulting?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:23 PM
5

@ brundle That is dumbest/sexist thing I’ve heard today. Let’s try this and swap genders to help you understand the OP’s question…. Imagine your BF tells you that he won’t do <insert very enjoyable sex act for you>, but you learn that he’s used to do it all the time. Not only did He do it for ALL his prior GFs, but he even did it to two random girls at the same time, after just meeting them! Lol. Orrrr, let’s make it non-sexual: Suppose that you find out (later) that your BF/husband used to buy …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 07:15 PM
5

Did you say (or agree with) that feminism is about equality? So if equality is the premise of your political movement, then the feminists should be lobbying for equality it all aspects! Not just cherry picking the ones that solely benefit women while avoiding the others issues that would give women more responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 11:20 PM
7

Great, I’m glad we agree. Now get all your feminist sisters on board and lobby to change the laws… to say if a woman decides to give birth, explicitly against the man’s choice, then she waives all child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 11:12 PM
2

Feminism isn’t about equality. Some examples of where feminism doesn’t push for equality are: Military draft registration for women Paid family leave for men Paternity testing Justice system that disproportionately punishes men vs women for the same crimes 50/50 parental custody Shelters for men
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 10:57 PM
4

How about this: woman can decide the fate of the fetus, but they can’t also decide the fate of his money. Meaning, if men can’t have a say on whether his child is born, then women can’t force men to pay child support for an unwanted child.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 10:30 PM
0

^ WallSt gets it! 👊🏼
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 11:10 PM
-1

Ohhh, you’re talking about a beta male in this scenario. Lol You’re too funny! An alpha male doesn’t care what her career is, or what ever title her boss gave her, or what diplomas are hanging in her office. An alpha male will lead his family properly and she can either jump on his train or find the nearest exit. Either way, he will be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 09:19 PM
0

Who raised their babies? …Daycare (i.e. strangers)? I’m legit asking because I don’t know the answer. But I have a hunch that there were women who gave up the career (even if temporary) to serve their family by staying home to raise their children. While the man served his family by going to work and earning an income. This income supported the most important job in his eyes - that of the mother to his young children.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 09:04 PM
1

Who will raise their babies?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 09:03 PM
6

Oh jeez, you really twisted his words. he never said he wants a slave.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 07:06 PM
-2

True, we all have to earn income. But think of this way… it’s in a young woman’s advantage to put herself in the market early on, and marry a man that will provide for her. Assuming that’s the woman’s goal. Otherwise yeah, if she wants to focus on her career first, for example, then go for it. And then she can enter the market for marriage, later in her life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 06:55 PM
2

“but you refuse to marry her,” Those are the key words right there, and you said them, but you didn’t realize the importance. I suggest to my daughters to date with intention. And save some of the valued things for her future husband. In other words, don’t give away wife privileges to a man who isn’t your husband yet. So if you are worth marrying, and demand marriage, then the man has only two choices: Move on or marry you. And the quicker you can get an answer, the better off for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 06:51 PM
4

Great response!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 01:06 AM
1

Agreed, I would probably date a chick who is a 5 in the face (i.e. average) so long as her body was a 8+
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 09:31 PM
1

Would this be similar to the male dating strategy to get with a “butter face”? ….where her body looks great, but not her face.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 04:19 PM
1

Yes. Especially when I’m expected to be a traditional man / husband, then she better be a traditionally woman / wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 11:47 AM
1

Did you mean physically attractive? If so, then I will partially agree. In theory, yes, women (as most people) care about their spouse’s looks. My point is that adult women, in practice, will value other attributes higher, over his looks. So I’m not saying his looks are non-important, (they definitely help!). But there are other attributes that he needs to gain/acquire in order to attract a high value woman. But you’re right. There are so many things he can do to improve his appearance: live a h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 05:21 PM
1

I’m still surprised to hear that. Perhaps I don’t know the demographics of Reddit. Thanks for clarifying. Regarding the skill set of a father, let’s talk about that under a new thread since this one is about what women bring to the table. I would love to, in fact!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 05:17 PM
1

Really, you think a “lot” of people don’t want children? …perhaps I misunderstood. But regardless, whether they have children now is not the point of my comment. If a person’s goal is to be a mother in the future, then that particular skill set (of being a good mother) should be touted and brought to the table. I was just offering another asset that a woman could answer with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:52 PM
4

I will tend to agree with you when you say, that a 30 year old has to work harder to be in their best physical shape. But I would disagree that 30’s are the best time to marry. Your first mistake is assuming that men and women value the same things in their spouse. Yes, men place beauty very high in their preferences, but I would argue that women place other attributes higher than how handsome he is. Besides, it’s really not too hard to discern if a 20 y.o. woman has healthy habits that will tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 08:51 PM
1

I saw very few answers that relate to being a good mother for her man’s (future) children. Is this because you haven’t considered that as something to bring to the table, so to speak? Or is because having & raising children aren’t on your radar?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:59 PM
0

You’re not looking at the big picture (i.e. marriage). What you speak of may apply to just hooking up / casual dating. But for more than that (i.e. marriage), men are definitely at higher risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:55 PM
1

You have a great attitude!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:52 PM
0

I’ll answer your question. I’m looking for a wife. Not a buddy. There is a difference! It’s a marriage; not a friendship nor a business partnership. Sure, there will be some similarities and overlaps. But there there are distinct roles for a wife/husband. So if someone says/brags that they will (only) provide companionship and support, they are are not cut out for marriage, IMO. …Dogs and friends can provide that! …And then of course there’s tinder for sex 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:50 PM
3

This, right here! And noticed she said she’s, MARRIED. Ladies, if you want a marriage, and a successful one at that, take note. You can’t just bring yourself nor your basic company. You have to take an active role in the relationship. Withwhims, you sounds like a lovely wife. You and your husband are very fortunate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:43 PM
2

Funny joke! 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 05:36 PM
0

It’s not a difficult question. Every man contemplating marrying his girlfriend should have already spent lots of time thinking about his future. He should seek counsel from his family, friends, pastor, books, etc. to extract as much wisdom as possible. Then he should vocalize his expectations with her. But clear and firm. It’s your marriage and it’s your responsibility to ensure it will work as desired. There’s absolutely no shame in making your expectations clear. You should have items that you…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 01:31 AM
1

What’s involved in being my wife is… First and foremost, I’m traditional and believe that marriage is for the purpose of making and/or raising children. If we aren’t doing that, then let’s just date. I want her, not some stranger or daycare, to raise our children. And she will continue to do so, at least until they are of school age. She will be fit, feminine, kind, nurturing and attentive. She will be my muse, and inspire me to be a better man, husband, and father. She will give me enthusiastic…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 01:16 AM
2

Do you think its ever acceptable for your partner to mention about losing some weight? Yes, especially if you cross a major relationship threshold. E.G. if you’re going from just casual dating to a committed LTR. And then again when going from that LTR into a marriage. Anytime you cross those thresholds you should be communicating and negotiating your (new) expectations and boundaries (e.g. commitment level). And fitness & health should absolutely be included in those discussions. Personally, My…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 06:50 PM
1

I wouldn’t expect loyalty to me before we are committed, however I would expect her to always have integrity. I vet her and see how she treated past lovers, family and friends. People tend to show patterns of behavior. So I look for that in her past, plus, as our relationships grows and develops, there will be examples in the future. Small examples in the beginning could include, showing up on time for our dates. Later, it could include things like coming to my defense in arguments or conflicts …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 02:21 PM
0

You could fall in love and get married and not find out someone isn’t fertile for years. Of course that can happen. But if the end goal is to have children, then would you be better served to seek someone who is fertile, or at the least, someone you believe is fertile?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:14 PM
1

Exactly! I think we have the same basic premise: Everyone should look for partner that works for them and the relationship. And if we want fertility and cooperation in our relationship, then nobody else should judge us and say our desires our unhealthy. Can you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:10 PM
1

Really? I’m surprised you don’t think fertility is a healthy value for a couple that desire (many) children. Of the examples I gave, I never thought fertility would be triggering. …submissive maybe, but not fertility. And what the heck is wrong with valuing a cooperative person? Someone who is disagreeable would make for a miserable spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 09:52 PM
1

Loyalty and integrity are one of the top attributes that men value. So of course that’s a concern if we’re talking about exclusive/committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 06:50 PM
1

To be clear, which things are you referring to? …degrees and job?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 06:49 PM
1

Right, but anxiety of what? …is it having sex in public, sex with a stranger, sex with other men around, or something else? I don’t mean to derail, I’m just genuinely curious because I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, so I actually enjoy it. So I’m curious to hear the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 12:39 PM
2

I’ve been to a few; it can be fun just being a spectator. So do you have a theory as to why some men don’t get hard (i.e. turned off) at the sight of women banging a bunch of dudes?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 12:08 PM
2

Where are these parties? …asking for a friend 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 12:02 PM
1

Women want loving relationships. There is a shortage of men who want loving relationships. Women don't date the men who don't want loving relationships or are otherwise incapable of building one even if that's what they explicitly claim to want. As a counter point: (Some) men don’t define relationships by love. Men desire other traits from relationships (e.g. fertility, loyalty, cooperation). Here’s (part of) the problem with modern dating… women don’t know what men want or value. For example, S…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:52 AM
2

I don’t think I understand/agree with your premise that men are “scared”. Maybe you can elaborate. But I’ll say this, and try to answer the question that I think you’re asking: Men have a variety of preferences for their sexual partners. And these preferences can shift dynamically in priority, depending the relationship. Meaning, they don’t have the same standards for hook-up, as they do a FWB, LTR, or marriage. Sure, in a perfect world, his partner will have all of his preferences, with each on…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:42 AM
2

Ditto. The idea is to get out of your house and put yourself near the men you want to attract. Get creative and have fun with it. Maybe you can take one girlfriend the first time if you’re a little uncomfortable. But return solo the next time. And then make yourself approachable and send ‘choosing signals’ to him (e.g. make eye contact and smile)
/r/RedPillWives29/06/21 04:53 PM
1

I’ve heard people suggest to use a professional match making service. I can’t say if they are worth it. So I am curious to know if anyone has found success using one.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 10:32 PM
0

I thought so too. lol Just last week, I was at very nice steak house with my GF, and I noticed a young lady sitting at the bar. She was by herself (which is important for the OP) and not on her phone (also important). She was just enjoying her appetizer and a drink. We left before her, so I can’t say if any man approached her or not. But we both talked about what a good idea that would be for her single sister to do.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 10:30 PM
-2

Just one idea: Look for older gentlemen (36 and up) at a steak house Edit/question: Are the down votes because I specified the age 36+?
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 04:48 PM
2

Those are all great ideas to consider. So I’ll take it another direction… Does he masterbate? …I’ll assume that he does. Ask him to save that energy for you one night. Just make sure you don’t say it in a judgmental way. Frame it in a way, such that you would like to save all his energy for you. Heck, you could even own up to your “selfishness” and tell him something dirty like, “I want you to save all your cum for my pussy and give me a huge load on my cervix.”
/r/RedPillWives21/06/21 09:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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