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Jay-quellen Archive

View 6 posts and 184 comments by Jay-quellen on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

Curious that they’re competitive about “literally everything,” but insist that spontaneity is the winning play in this department.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 09:37 AM
171

“I wasn’t flirting with her…” PUH-LEASE, tell me another. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 05:03 PM
9

I LOVE the Tody app and I also use Medisafe - total life savers! Tody is so so helpful as a first time homeowner. And Medisafe is a free app I use to keep up with meds and hold myself accountable for taking them every day (and has reminders for refills). Both apps have the functionality to “share” with another person. If he were serious about being a better partner and parent, he’d have proactively come up with a plan to address these issues and talked to his physician about how he’s feeling - X…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 08:21 PM
4

I, too, don’t encourage a race to the bottom, but I do understand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:37 PM
52

And this is why everyone should get tested at least annually if they’re sexually active — doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating three months or married thirty years. Protect your own mental and physical health first and foremost. (It’s a pretty concrete way to out a cheater in a long term relationship. “Chlamydia from a toilet seat,” “gonorrhea from a tractor,” “must’ve had it from before I dated you,” PUH-LEASE.) Bin him. 🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:41 AM
25

Consider it a rite of passage. Many of us have been banned there - good riddance, honesty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:58 AM
30

iPhone does as well! You can set up a bedtime and sleep window to swap notifications over for all (or select) apps, contacts, etc. to DND via the Health app. Great for filtering out the riffraff and establishing good sleep hygiene!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:00 PM
61

Mia Khalifa has also spoken out against the industry for this reason - it’s predatory, exploitative, and victim blaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:00 AM
17

100% you see from the women the kind of thoughtfulness and actions you’d expect from the male “best friends.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 03:08 PM
69

I finished Season 1 this weekend, too. I cried during episode 6; it really was touching. And it was due to how the female relationship dynamic was portrayed: pragmatic and sentimental, they were the real gganbu. The bulk of the sexist criticism probably stems from the portrayal of Han Minyeo. While you initially dislike her, it forces you to examine why. Cheating and leveraging her sexuality (that’s basically the worst of it) isn’t even that bad in comparison. She’s just trying to survive the on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:29 PM
58

Another option in the US, would be to move your assets into a separate legal entity, like a trust, before you get married. It’s also a good estate planning strategy in case you have children with your spouse, you die, and they remarry. A trust set up during your marriage can ensure that your own children are provided for how you intended, without future influence from your widower, etc. Also, never ever ever commingle assets/funds you alone inherit or are gifted during your marriage with those o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:46 AM
14

Professional Bullshitters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 11:47 PM
1

Even men are more likely to be sexually assaulted by another man than they are to be falsely accused of rape. Sooo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 08:18 PM
1

Haha right?! Is it a scam because she welcomed freeloaders, affectionately referred to as “children,” into their happy marriage, too? Like what kind of nice story is this exactly???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:57 PM
34

Even real fashion photographers are predatory. It’s disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 12:39 AM
3

He just needs someone who can keep up with it all, okayyy? 🤸🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 12:28 AM
2

My understanding is that they wouldn’t charge him without confirming she was actually dead due to the possibility of a defamation lawsuit, etc. I think the identity of the body still needs to be officially confirmed, but the only other recently missing people in that park were both male, so it is likely her who was found. Hopefully, his family can be held responsible in civil court, because Brian likely has no material assets to his name; that said, he’s probably still in the US (or a country wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 04:16 PM
15

There is no statute of limitations on some criminal offenses in the US, like capital murder. And now that they have found her body, her family may be able to file a civil suit for wrongful death against him and/or his family (they’re still within the timeframe to file in civil court - assuming they can at all - at this point).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:35 PM
1

Love by Toni Morrison
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 11:18 PM
1

100% - if you want to rescue, get a dog not a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 07:21 AM
40

Yeah, I don’t understand how this isn’t considered inciting violence, given current circumstances. Also notice how they’ve tagged their show LDS - I’m sure the Mormon church wouldn’t be too pleased if they saw that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 04:15 PM
53

Abusers and toxic people rely on shame and silence in order to cover up their bad behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 08:54 PM
2

After the initial “what the fuck,” this was my thought, too. “Take his money” and go where exactly… the living room? Marriage is supposed to be ‘til death so us part, so wtf is this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:44 AM
6

I think this part is key, “If you move in before that commitment, you could be ruining a relationship that with a little more negotiation, compromise and maybe a regular visit from a cleaning lady, could work really well.” Once you have a ring on your finger and a public commitment to marry, he’s presumably in it for the long haul and sees you as his future family. He’s not just living with you indefinitely because it’s cheaper than living alone and you don’t need to tread lightly for fear of “s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:40 AM
22

I was thinking this, too. So many men working remotely in my office volunteered to come back to the office full time in like July/August last year — they’d legit rather catch the Plague (and whatever long term effects) than be at home with their families all day. 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:22 PM
3

This is truly a classic. 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:01 AM
2

I guess I’m just reasoning that in both instances, the huge cost of the engagement ring (the stone) is covered by the bride. But he should still contribute something on par with income for the engagement, whatever that is. That was my main point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:14 PM
2

This is literally a version of the scenario I was putting forward. It just seems “silly” to me to have two actual engagement rings, one of which she’ll never wear, so I suggested some other sort fine jewelry. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:59 PM
26

And I’d rather be the final girl in a horror film than partake in this shitty rom com.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:12 PM
9

How is this so fucking common?! JUST HOW, I ASK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:02 PM
4

I asked for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:09 PM
42

EXACTLY — as a self sufficient adult, money isn’t the point. In a marriage, it’s basically a wash. But there are things I CAN do for myself, but don’t (want to); things I CAN buy for myself, but don’t. Your partner is there to help you enjoy it all and make your life better. If not, what the fuck is he around for, and why does he want to be with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:48 PM
6

I feel like this might be most men. The famous ones just have the money and power to indulge in the bad behavior with impunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 09:22 PM
3

“We can have kids without marriage.” LOL @ that one. We can have a lot of things in life; it doesn’t mean they’re worth having.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 07:50 PM
8

Yep. I’m in the American South where Bible thumping runs rampant. 🚩 AVOID 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 01:35 PM
2

He definitely needs a shower and she needs a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:10 AM
5

Haven’t read it, but dropped in to say that Bill Moyers does excellent work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:06 AM
31

Ah, this is a classic. Tale as old as time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:57 AM
195

“I can’t believe you went through my phone — such a betrayal of my trust!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:29 AM
21

Are NP links available to post with all of the image grabbed content? And can we encourage them? A lot of times, I just want to read the comments there and participate here (but I’m also lazy enough to be discouraged by searching for the original thread).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:43 PM
9

Definitely. Obviously, you never admit to it... but I ballpark the salary of every guy I date (I think most women should). It really puts into perspective if the guy is sharing his life with you and giving you the most of what he has, or if he’s cheaping out and treating you like a replaceable sidekick. In retrospect, I should have expected MUCH more from guys who were making 2-3x what I was in my 20s, as opposed feeling pressured into 50-50. Live and learn, I guess!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:24 PM
11

For sure. And for anyone lurking, at least in the US all the major firms hire first and second year associates at about the same salary (based off of what the NYC firms do, since they all need to be competitive for hiring nationally / internationally). These numbers, along with bonuses, are pretty easy to find online!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:45 PM
30

$80k doesn’t go so far in Manhattan - that’s like entry level pay for an investment banking analyst. So, he either lives in a ratty shoe box or has some roommates, like a 22 year old would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:00 PM
8

So did one of the most influential women in Belarusian politics in 2020, Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya, who ran for office in her husband’s place after he (and the other men running) were imprisoned or exiled. Lukashenko generally dismissed her for being a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:10 PM
1

Might not be any warmer than the PNW, but if I could choose, I would go to Chicago. You get the benefits of a city in the Northeast, but with the Midwestern charm (more akin to Southern Hospitality, but less Jesus).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:44 PM
7

Based on the graph, it looks like something big happened in October 2019, too. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:25 PM
13

Problematic or not, even a broken clock is right twice a day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 08:15 PM
19

💯 I think about that all the time when I hear this “alpha male” bullshit. I don’t know much about sportsball, but the analogy that sticks out is the fact that someone like LeBron doesn’t run his mouth about how great he is at basketball, he just IS and that reputation precedes him. Actions speak louder than words ever could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:25 PM
7

Clear mascara is also good for setting your eyebrows if you’re not filling them in, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:07 AM
1

Oh hunni, nooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:01 PM
7

Truly. If anyone’s gonna be bald in this relationship, it’s gonna be me — from finally melting all my hair off with DIY bleach. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:02 AM
11

I’d rather be respected and feared, TBH. 💁🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:08 AM
16

That’s what seems so weird to me — they don’t do anything to celebrate for their kids. I can understand a couple not really doing the traditional Christmas “thing,” but I feel like most families with kids, regardless of religion, do something for the “holidays” involving family and gifts. This is just so strange. There’s got to be more going on here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:57 PM
8

She’s been working there since she was 15, so I immediately assumed it was fast food or retail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:41 PM
24

She says they don’t have HR... so that’s not a problem. 😐 (HR might have a meltdown, there’s so much wrong going on there.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:38 PM
6

PREACH. 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:01 PM
33

Words to live by!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:23 AM
4

Seriously! I’m beginning to think AITA needs a rebrand. That content is the stuff of gaslight nightmares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:59 AM
1

Why is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:58 AM
11

Well, in her defense, she has nowhere to go — SHE BOUGHT THE HOUSE WITH HIM. 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:31 AM
12

Who’s gonna tell her that he’s teeing up her replacement / contingency plan?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:06 AM
26

Welcome to the dark side. 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:21 PM
7

CMV: Men are trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:12 PM
3

She’s just torturing herself at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:32 AM
12

This is why married couples with children and substantial assets need to consult an attorney and take estate planning measures seriously. Upon the death of one/both parents, assets intended for beneficiaries, like underage children, can be put into a trust so no one else has access except for the intended recipient (even for an intended purpose). If you die and your husband remarries, you can at least pass with the peace of mind that your children are provided for with the assets you worked hard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:47 AM
7

All of her videos are so good! It makes me regret deleting TikTok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 01:14 PM
9

Heh. Might start using this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 01:57 AM
6

Or a wrestler. 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 11:28 AM
2

She’s a gem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:36 AM
2

LOL, themselves! If there’s money or power in it, men aren’t ever far behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:55 AM
12

Just so...odd. It reads like a karma-farming account or practice for men writing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:05 PM
9

I agree. IMO, she should abort and if she doesn’t, he needs to leave. I don’t think it’s fair to expect him to father a child that isn’t his, either. Trauma does split up otherwise stable relationships (the death of a child being one of them, horrific accidents, etc). Regardless of the outcome, he does need to be a supportive partner to her while they’re together (it’s not about him) and also go to therapy to work through it on his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:52 PM
4

This is truly a meal of desperation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:38 PM
4

I’ve also found this to be true. Usually the guys who can afford to (but don’t!) outsource all their domestic work are the grossest. Never going there again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:33 PM
22

I just cannot get over the spaghetti in a BUCKET.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:16 PM
5

Fun fact: @Feminist on Instagram is also run by two men. They primarily aggregate (and monetized) the work of other, mostly women, content creators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:19 AM
2

Exactly. The only scenario under which this is acceptable is if you’re both members of the Donner Party and there is no other option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:56 AM
1

I’ve thought a lot about this, too. Huge red flag is a guy who can’t be arsed or complains endlessly about having to read work (even the classics) written by or about women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:43 AM
3

Yeah, the only way I can see being secure as a SAHM or sharing finances with a spouse, is literally pooling both peoples’ salaries and just cutting it in half - agreeing on the same personal spending money for each person, same contribution to individual retirement accounts, and taking all shared expenses/household/dependent/incidentals out of the pooled funds. TOTAL TRANSPARENCY, and just even-Steven that shit since each spouse’s contribution should be valued equally within the partnership. May…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:37 AM
4

Honestly, any time you feel lonely and think about “settling” for a man, just settle for a good book instead. They’re not half as disappointing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:34 AM
21

Funny you mention that field specifically — I was referred to a urologist by my general practitioner, but I wanted to see a woman or at least someone who focused on women’s issues. Had to do some digging to find her, but they do exist! (And honestly if you’re dealing with something like chronic UTIs, issues related to childbirth, or pelvic reconstructive surgery, etc. they’re worth looking for. I saw her once and my problem was resolved. 🤷🏼‍♀️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:58 AM
8

I can only imagine! I have no idea how I only recently found her IG, but I’m glad I did. Her deep dives on movies (from my childhood) are my favorite. She creates such great content! I need to check out her podcast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:02 AM
24

With Cuffing Season upon us, STAY WOKE QUEENS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:51 AM
3

Also how are ferrets less effort than cats?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:57 AM
10

I saw this on IG, Johnny Ryan @outlawscumfudge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:27 AM
10

This was my thought as well — handmade is fine, as long as the work is quality and the recipient appreciates your art. It should also mirror the relationship and investment you expect in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:02 AM
2

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how people weaponize criticism to dismiss opinions they don’t like. I am a feminist. And IMO, this sub is a feminist, pro-sex, and sex positive space. People tend to vilify those with opinions that aren’t supportive to the extreme, which is just wrong. That implies that the status quo is perfect and there’s no room for improvement or difference of opinion. The feminist movement is still in its infancy in the grand scheme of things, so there needs to be room …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:27 PM
6

Not that other demographics don’t have issues with this, but in a culture where old white dudes sit comfortably at the top of the hierarchy, what better way to propagate your message (of low-key white supremacy and “traditional family values”) than by shipping it off into the world wrapped up in a demure sweater set and pearls by way of their own wife, girlfriend, or daughter — who buy into it in order to maintain their own adjacency to power. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (I’m thinking primarily of recent political ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:10 AM
20

Honestly, if this sub can help a woman avoid getting mixed up with a guy from that one, it’s a win. They espouse such a one-dimensional view of women, it’s disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:58 AM
30

It’s true. They KNOW — it’s like they have a sixth sense for when you’re happy and have moved on, and that’s when they hit you up. I’ve done some level 7 nuclear meltdown, Satanic shit that should’ve gotten me burnt at the stake. And yet, without fail, they all come back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:23 AM
4

In order to be an incel, it needs to be involuntary. 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:54 PM
33

With “typical use” (not “perfect use”) AKA real life stats, the method that THEY decided on has a failure rate of like 25% — not great odds, if you ask me... so yes, if becoming a father was not the plan (which is what he’s actually pissed about here), he should’ve taken some personal responsibility and worn that condom. 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:27 PM
2

Bahaha. I immediately thought of her, too. Glad you called that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:44 AM
1

Vanderbilt Commodores. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:34 AM
1

She is putting this man-baby through VANDERBILT. Let that one sink in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:33 AM
39

“He would never hurt me like that...” until he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:07 PM
37

“It’s still a net negative.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 12:51 PM
3

I swear to God, it’s a sixth sense — THEY KNOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:30 AM
5

This is wild. If not for herself, she needs to look out for their child. In the off chance nothing sinister is going on here, WHAT IF something were to happen to him - they’re not married and she has no outright legal claim to his property (and now, no money). If his family isn’t feeling particularly charitable, she and her child could be homeless while that mess got sorted out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:28 AM
2

This is also a compatibility question. If you need a lot of support (“needy”) and your partner has to take a lot of time to themself, it may just be a mis-match of lifestyle and expectations. Even if separation cannot be helped, eg. a military spouse where their partner is gone 6 months at a time, some people are okay with that and others need more support. Either way, if you and your partner can’t figure out something that works for both of you, that’s a big issue — and you need to seriously co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 05:37 PM
7

I also considered this perspective. The thing is with marriage though, is that both of you have needs: yes, you need to take care of yourself, but your partner has needs, too. What happened here is that he prioritized himself over her when she needed his support. In this case he voluntarily left, but imagine if he were an alcoholic, got called for work, or had to be committed for a few days - it’s basically the same effect. Her partner couldn’t / wouldn’t be there when she needed him. And she ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 01:01 PM
1

His response to the comments trying to help just got better and better... He was like, “Well I can only guess why you like surfing - The beach? The water?” Like, that’s the entire point of the date — YOU FUCKING ASK. 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:28 AM
2

I had to go look. And saved the original post to read later. HOLY SHIT, is he a piece of work - like so argumentative even in those comments is perused. No wonder he’s posting on the virginity exchange sub as a 31 year old guy. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:22 AM
1

Just trying to survive out here, sheesh! LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:07 AM
23

“...the last thing I want to do is plan a wedding.” Bruh, no shit - it’s been ELEVEN YEARS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:10 PM
7

“You’d just have to be ok if I brought another girl home...” ding ding ding! We have a winner. And when he does and she loses her shit, he can say, “...but I told you. I was totally honest!” And she’s going to be the one who has to figure out a new living situation ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:58 AM
6

I honestly cannot tell if this is a troll or genuine post, even after reading all of the source material. Sad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:47 AM
14

Yep, I agree with this. Addiction is addiction, no matter now you boil it down - sex/porn, drugs or otherwise. I don’t think you’ll find a responsible adult who engages in recreational drug use unwilling to discuss the potential for abuse and addiction (and also trafficking). That doesn’t mean you’re “anti-drugs” or “anti-fun,” it means you’re willing to engage in open and honest conversations about human behavior and biology. I don’t see why this should be any different or taboo just because of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:02 PM
41

100% men love and respect bitches. It’s been an unlearning process for me with dating - I’ve been taught to be self-sufficient and self-starting with regards to supporting myself, but also pleasant, quiet and grateful socially. Nope! Throw it ALL out. Just set the expectations high, let him show you he’s made of, and be a ruthless bitch. Who knew!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:30 AM
3

I was thinking this same thing. If they can be fulfilled by AI, Godspeed and good luck to them! We wouldn’t be compatibility anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:10 AM
6

Even without reading all the other stuff, the crux of this story is 100%: “It bothered me, since she is very attractive...” and gets attention. Insecurity at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:29 AM
22

Yeah, while reading this all I could think was the fetish was a guise under which he could consensually beat his wife. Nothing to do with sex, he just wants to beat the shit out of her. BDSM makes it justifiable, and so that she participates in and excuses his abusive behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:34 AM
24

Haha yuuuppp. As someone in a similar situation, I can say it does get depressing to dwell on; but I’ve started to rationalize that if I exist (by whatever statistical improbability), so does my equal. Not doing anyone any favors by settling for less - least of all myself. I’d rather be alone than miserable!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:08 AM
83

I thought I remembered reading that somewhere, too. It can get dicey though IF she puts the money into a joint account, which is exactly what he’s going to push her to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:08 AM
3

Thanks for this reminder! Asking for help is one of the hardest things for someone who thinks they should be able to “do it all.” Even men who “have it all,” don’t do it all (by themselves).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:48 AM
1

You do not have to be perfect to be lovable; but, it helps to love yourself first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:31 AM
1

Science is political in America... (I wish I were kidding.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:10 AM
11

Oh FFS, at 11 years old she knows exactly who is packing her school lunch every day and writing the notes, signed or not. Even if these were holiday presents from “both of them,” she’d still know all the same - who put the thought into picking it out, who went to buy it, who wrapped it, etc. I don’t know who he thinks he’s kidding; he’s just showing his ass now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:48 PM
45

Humans are animals. The boyfriend is just less capable than the dog. Sometimes you just have to meet people where they are. LOLLL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:33 PM
25

This was my thought too. His own wife could have died during childbirth or needed someone there to make medical decisions on her behalf. And he chose not to be there. His priorities are fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:17 AM
13

That show is a train wreck and I cannot look away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:57 AM
31

This one guy in the comments is trying to argue that “breaking your vows is a part of for better or for worse” and that “for some people marriage is not just a contract and part of better or worse is infidelity.” Umm...what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 12:20 AM
11

This all sounds sooo very familiar. I say this with compassion: calm your tits and go back to therapy. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Also, I’ll second that your inner monologue sounds very severe - try to be kind to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 12:21 AM
23

The truth is stranger than fiction and their audacity knows no bounds! (The state of these relationships is truly depressing.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:01 PM
10

I was thinking the same thing when I read the “just communicate with him” reply and wanted to rip my hair out. Literally everyone has been sick at some point, maybe not deathly ill but surely sick enough to want to cancel plans. How is “I feel so ill that I cannot do this” (pregnant or not) insufficient?! I give up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:36 PM
21

The original poster replied saying she was “LOOKING FOR THIS RESPONSE.” (!!!) On a more tangential note, how do these guys even function on their own? How do they feed themselves? Who cleans up after them? So many questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:45 PM
3

Totally agree! But, I think it does even more to highlight Jerry's values. He really does prize his personal relationships over career ambitions, and he does it all for his family. The more I re-watch the show, the more I appreciate Jerry and his character arc on the show (the only character I could come up with in response to this post). He's an awesome cook (the original language of love); never speaks ill of his beautiful wife even though they do have squabbles; he explicitly states that his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:58 PM
14

Riiight! Superficially, no one “gets” that relationship; but when we see him with his family it makes perfect sense - of course, his “beautiful wife Gail” is BEAUTIFUL and he has a wonderful family that loves him. So heartwarming!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 01:54 AM
27

Jerry Gergich!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 12:11 AM
17

I second the the whole not inviting you into his place as being a massive RED FLAG. I can see having a small apartment and getting by without a proper kitchen as a single person in a city if you're working and not home a lot. Honestly a hot plate, toaster oven, and a mini fridge would cover 99% of a typical "bachelor(ette)-lifestyle." It's not ideal, but ultimately it's personal preference. There's more to his behavior and you've just scratched the surface here... I'd bet it's that he's cheap an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:57 PM
6

Yes... guilty pleasure, along the lines of reality TV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:43 AM
8

*Self-sufficient chicks are having their moment right now. FTFY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 12:40 AM
1

I typically hate reality TV, too - I don't know what it is, but that show is so addictive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:57 AM
10

Whether it’s this or anything else, you’ve discussed it and he’s taken it into consideration. People either want to change and do, or they don’t; you either accept him how he is now, or move on. That’s it. Being alone is far better than settling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:22 AM
8

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 02:29 AM
2

So, yes and no... People don’t change unless they want to and are ready, including yourself. And the second part that I really struggle with is just perspective, TBH - we are our own worst critics and change doesn’t happen over night. Other people’s goals are not necessarily your goals, but they are willing to use you to achieve their own ends and, frankly, warp your worldview in the process - personally and professionally. It’s helped me realize that I’m not fucking crazy, for starters. Similar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 10:38 AM
5

Get thee to therapy. I'm about your age and am struggling with a similar feeling of "stagnation." I get to talk about it every week - hooray! It would be a lie if I said it was easy, but it does help; if you can, you should try it out, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:45 AM
8

Dude needs a history and economics lesson. Civilization and capitalism were borne at the expense of unpaid laborers, ie. slaves and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 03:47 PM
45

Just gave it a lurk and... Holy. WOW. Just wow. I'd rather be alone or have a kid all by myself than be tied to that forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:52 PM
4

I don't get it at all -- like, they know they can do like 20% of the work and get 100% of the credit, right? Defies all logic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:35 AM
6

JFC, so, the once in a blue moon you have a date scheduled, you do this... alright. I hate to see what these dudes look like after dating for awhile and they get more comfortable - troglodytes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 02:45 PM
4

I'd say it depends on your age: given that you're still young, there are still plenty of guys without that kind of baggage (more similar to yourself - no kids, never married) looking for a relationship, and that's not an unrealistic expectation for a partner (if you were 30 years older, maybe not so much). I'd also be concerned, given his background, that he's already divorced. Typically, people in his situation don't rush into big decisions (they have structure and family support that discourag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:39 PM
5

So, I really liked the episode even though she does break a few rules (and she knows it!), like moving in together before getting engaged, but she does primarily from a pragmatic financial lens (paying down her own overwhelming student loans) and not with the hope of "bringing them closer together." And she fully prepared for if shit hit the fan, she was prepared to move out and sign a new lease the next day. I think him helping chip away at her student loans every month was his way of giving he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:42 AM
4

Oh God, her post... working in finance and knowing the culture, I just cannot with this. She's married to a "finance bro," likely a VP, in NYC and she's supporting herself on below a livable wage for a single person with 1 child in the city while subsidizing his lifestyle. HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED, and quite frankly outed for this behavior to all his friends, coworkers, and family. TBH, I'd just run my mouth to all their WAGs and let it hit the fan. THIS. IS . SHAMEFUL. And I can only imagine how mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 06:57 PM
2

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:18 AM
4

She really is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 03:52 AM
4

You're just out here doin' God's work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 03:16 AM
1

O heck, u right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 02:38 AM
2

Well, not with that attitude! But seriously, this guy is simply refusing to touch... his girlfriend? FFS, just throw the whole man out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 01:16 AM
7

Regret my past decisions? Nah, you weren't worth my time then and you're not worth my time now - I don't think about you at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:01 AM
11

EXACTLY. The ring represents a lifetime "contract" that shouldn't be taken lightly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:18 PM
19

Your life has so many possibilities and that's a pretty exciting prospect. Some mythical man doesn't define your future, you do! Enjoy the journey; it's not all about the destination. Find yourself along the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:55 AM
2

This sub was recommended to me by an IRL single girl friend, so I wandered over; stayed for the validation and support - I'm not crazy for having basic standards and expectations, who knew?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:26 PM
9

The engagement ring is representative of his commitment to you in the most traditional sense, which is why they recommend no small chunk of change be spent on it - this is a substantial decision and the ring should symbolize that. Also, convention dictates that whoever backs out of the contract does not keep the ring, so yeah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:52 AM
18

Yep! I view PickMe as a label of being a “people pleaser” - and frankly, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. That inclination just sets someone up to be easily taken advantage of, especially in dating relationships, which is the absolute last thing you want to happen (to yourself or anyone else). TBH, I need the reminder to, Pick ME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 04:11 AM
8

HOLY. SHIT. Well, his color guard came out waving a variety of colossal red flags. Time to pack it up and run for the hills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:10 AM
85

Thank u, next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 09:36 PM
32

LMAO, I die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:28 AM
6

You’ll LOL, I promise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:05 AM
22

This was my initial reaction, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:33 PM
5

Yes, you wait. And in the meantime, you do you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:41 PM
2

Agreed! Both sex and romance are components of "dating." Not everyone has the same needs, goals, or disposition. And I think there are merits in discussing how to successfully navigate all of these of relationships to your benefit. Here, we discuss effective dating strategies for women who want to take control of their dating lives. I think this is totally fine, especially since there is a strong stance against taking on "projects" and trying to change people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:53 PM
3

Amen. You can’t swing a Fendi purse without knocking over 5 losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:33 PM
3

NO FUCKING CLUE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:51 AM
3

It still blows me away that he thought it was ok to drop this on me via text the day of and expected me to be okay with it because I'm "open minded."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:04 PM
6

It's just like Hamlet said...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:46 PM
4

He says he's only going to be getting information. But they're friends he loves, and TBH I wouldn't be surprised if he were there for the birth, had pics on his fridge and was involved beyond receiving information (or not).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:43 PM
7

Thanks! That's what I'm thinking. And also like I don't think he has truly considered what it wold mean if he and his future partner have fertility issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:24 PM
9

No, that's also partly how I'm reading this and why it upset me so much. I think he agreed to do it out of more than just "altruism" and it didn't matter how I saw it - he was going to do it either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:51 PM
13

That's what I thought. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:37 PM
7

Thinking about what in six months? This being the right decision, or that it's actually not a big deal / doesn't impact a future with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:24 PM
2

Harbin is an absolute gem of an ass. <3<3<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 09:48 PM
2

You're going to get called "crazy" anyway, may as well just call him on his bullshit and go full send.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:43 AM
7

She even has fiance in quotes in her post...she already knows how this is going to end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 10:22 PM
5

There is only one answer to this question: NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:34 PM
9

Wow, Reverend William, what lofty goals you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:45 PM
3

You’d appreciate Tiny Hat Skate Life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 02:09 AM
20

The real gift here is feeling heard, respected, and loved by your partner - in the end, that’s what matters most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:18 PM
2

What is the FDS take on situations where you have dietary restrictions, the guy asks you to dinner but leaves the restaurant up to you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:14 PM
2

Making it clear from the start that you will not compromise yourself for his benefit. That should weed out a lot of these guys before things get too serious. But as others have said, there is no guarantee that the relationship won’t fail - people change, including us. If you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself (your own #1), you hopefully don’t feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship with someone else and you have the fortitude to move on with your life, whatever the circumstances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 10:49 PM
4

Oh no, whatever will I do — curiosity, reading, and critical thinking skills are off putting to men?! GTFO. I read a lot of stuff I don’t necessarily agree with simply because it’s interesting and different. And if no one is capable of having a mature conversation about a “controversial” topic, I guess I’m dying alone (out of spite)...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 05:50 AM
3

I’m sorry, he has fundamental misunderstanding of global economic realities: this geographical arbitrage “opportunity” he wants to exploit, market efficiency, and eventual price convergence given how interconnected we all are (not just him as a mediocre white dude - this isn’t 1820). I pity the delusional fool; he’s living in a fantasy land.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 05:33 AM
14

The high standard you have for a partner must first be applied to yourself. 100% -- I have never faced any push-back or snide remarks when answering the question "what are you looking for in a guy" when they inevitably ask this question on dating apps. I just preface my description with "Someone similar to myself / the 'male' version of me..." and rattle off things that I would want a partner to appreciate about me. If they don't value my awesome qualities the way I do, they're more than welcome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:02 PM
13

Amazing how men feel entitled to this very specific private information so they can pass judgement, degrade, and manipulate. The most common reasoning is "lies of omission" - sorry, but people don't share all kinds of things that they don't deem relevant to their present. Unless he's out there oversharing (he's not) every feeling, experience, and embarrassing moment, he can GTFO with that crap. It's none of his business, and everyone is entitled to a private life. And if she knowingly hid this i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 05:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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