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Jnnjuggle32 Archive

View 9 posts and 135 comments by Jnnjuggle32 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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198

This is such an important point. Of the many problems with cat-calling, a major one is that it often happens to young girls with limited capacity or experience in responding in ways that keep them from escalating their risk of harm. Hell I remember walking home from middle school and getting harassed by grown men nearly every day with nothing I could do except to pretend I didn’t hear it and hope that the guy didn’t decide to box me in with his car because I “disrespected him” (which did happen …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 02:50 PM
138

I have a HV male friend from work. We mostly talk about work, but he’s also provided advice (when asked) and asks appropriate questions about my life without violating boundaries. Never felt uncomfortable with him. Probably the biggest indicator that he’s HV? We were working on a project together, and our project manager was a complete ass - interrupting me, ignoring my questions/concerns, generally dismissing my contributions. My friend met with me and told me point blank that he felt it was un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 10:13 PM
3

From a parenting standpoint point, on top of this - working from home has allowed far greater flexibility and availability for the daily routine of kids, especially for single moms. Child home sick? Unless they need to see a doctor, usually not a big deal (mine will cuddle and watch TV while I work from the couch). I can actually put my children on the bus or bring them to school, and then start my day right afterward. When they get home, I can hold an afternoon break time so I can pick them up.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 04:38 PM
76

Oh god, and if things were to change, if she gave him a chance and they started dating? He’d start realizing his dream woman has flaws like everyone else. He’d start to resent her for not meeting the fantasy expectations that he set before she even knew he was into her, and the poor woman would end up wasting years trying to figure out what she did wrong because her “wonderful but emotionally closed off” partner refuses to communicate the truth to her, until she leaves him for either 1) Realizin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 04:33 PM
43

Seriously. My ex didn’t leave - I refused to move again with him - but it was when our youngest was 18 months old. He’d made my life a living hell for a few years before he was born and really just stepped out completely after he was born (caught him with Ashley Madison accounts when son was 10 months old, complete emotional apathy, basically he acted like we didn’t exist the last two years before our separation). It was horrible and now, he’s found a 100% pick me that he’ll never marry, but who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 04:38 PM
115

You know what the saddest part about all of this is? If she were to try and get even a drop of help from “the system”, she’d be labeled a sex worker and treated as such. She’d be demonized in the court system and there’s a good chance that this fucking scrote would be able to get custody. The entire judicial system is built from men. It’s run by men. Everything is evaluated from men’s perspectives (because of “precedent”). How the hell are women and the BIPOC community ever going to receive just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 01:58 AM
126

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I’m a therapist, and often get women in relationships who suffer from extreme depression/anxiety because their partners aren’t actively “abusive”, but in fact are because of emotional neglect, malicious incompetence, refusal to provide a fair split of household/child rearing, not supporting their wives careers (despite relying on that income), and other LV crap. Some choose to stay and deal, and while they might feel better after working through ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:56 PM
52

I think this is one aspect of vetting, but isn’t enough to protect you from covert narcissists. And as someone who apparently attracts those guys stronger than steel to a magnet, its extremely frustrating. Like, is this an all around good guy? 6 months later - Nope, because he dropped his mask and now I’m 🎶 dealing with an emotionally abusive stalker 🎶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 06:41 PM
149

This is what happens when women stand up for themselves. We’re told to shut up, we’re not believed, and if we try to defend ourselves or point out the ways we’ve been harmed, people block us from their lives. When I left my husband, I simply shared that things didn’t work out. I did not share details of the abuse, cheating, or any of the things he’d done. He, in the other hand, told everyone in our shared circle a number of lies that painted me as a monster. What would happen if I went on the de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 05:48 PM
121

I certainly hope so. I had an almost identical situation happen to me - had to sign into my husbands email while he was deployed to retrieve an emailed confirmation code to pay a bill. Discovered he had signed up for a number of dating sites (including Ashley Madison). We had several children under the age of 6; because it’d been drilled into me not to “start fights during deployment” I waited to confront him until he returned a month later. All kinds of promises to change, to be better, blah bl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 03:42 PM
8

Me too; my ex still actively harasses and emotionally abuses me even though we’ve been divorced for three years. I can’t cut off all contact because of kids, and he’s smart in how he engages so that it doesn’t rise to a criminal level. He’s been especially awful the last two months or so; I’ve never been a big Kim fan but I empathize a lot with what she’s going through. I hope she has actual, trusted support to process this with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 12:36 PM
34

Oh god this is so spot on. Multiple exes who would moan and groan about the commercialization of love and not celebrating V Day as some sort of protest, with the argument that affection should be shown throughout the relationship. Hey dickhead, it takes 5 minutes and less than $50 to order some fucking flowers, but that still never appeared on any other day in our relationship. My favorite was the ex who thought it was an amazing act of consideration to get me a Gatorade when I was home sick wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 11:11 PM
98

Yup. Had an ex with opposite shift schedules in college; I had to be there 8:30-2:30, he got there around 3:30 - close. I also had class in the afternoon/evenings, so getting to bed around 9 was pretty important. That fucker would wake me up EVERY NIGHT leaving lights on, loudly gaming, demanding sex, and basically insisted I “spend time with him” until 2-3 am every night. It’s abuse and I almost failed that semester from how utterly exhausted I was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 07:36 PM
5

Exactly! At my worst mental health, I probably hit 85 pounds? This was in college and looking back it was shocking the number of LVM who would cold approach me to comment on my appearance (positively!). Sadly I ended up in a relationship that was extremely abusive with someone who loved how thin I was. Color me shocked when I found out he’s a sex offender now for possession/distribution of CP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 08:28 PM
100

They want you to look emaciated. I’m a tad over 5’9 - the last time I went under 120 (during a mental health crisis largely caused by my exhusband), I looked like a walking skeleton. I had abs but only because I had almost no body fat at that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 04:45 PM
106

My most recent ex decided to sit me down and tell me all of the things he was unhappy with and that if I didn’t fix them to his liking, that I could “get the fuck out of his life.” So I did. Cue shocked Pikachu face. No issue with rationally discussing relationship values/expectations. When that gets weaponized against you with the threat of the relationship ending, it’s an abusive power play. The boundaries will continue to shift until you feel like you’ve lost yourself completely. The second i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 09:20 PM
17

Thank you for sharing this story. My ex and children’s father has been especially cordial recently after breaking up with his girlfriend, and I’ve been suspecting that he’s going to pull something similar in the next few months with me. A good reminder that they never fucking change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:28 AM
63

Lol or navigating whether the “suave hot guy” actually has positive, high value intentions versus being a sociopath, an abuser, a cheater, or an egomaniac.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 07:55 PM
25

The closet I can think is my step-dad too. He also has a small number of annoying behaviors, but overall is quite HV. The number one thing? He is 100% completely devoted to my mother (even though I don’t think she’s that great). Literally is the most thoughtful person ever for her, always finding ways to make her happy snd support her. My sisters and I say that he could do better, our mom kind of stinks as a mom, but honestly we’re grateful to have him in our lives, as he extends that love and g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 06:31 PM
13

Mom was 18, Dad was 30 when they got together. They were divorced by the time I was 4. Sadly my mom is not a great person, no interest in being a parent, and my Dad got custody. Within a few years, he moved my stepmom in because he couldn’t deal with raising two kids by himself. She hated us and was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive. Healing from that? Honestly, I don’t know. It makes me sad when I think about how I never really had a “mom” - even now, my mom has very little contact wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 04:38 PM
23

I completely agree. Whatever reasons they had for moving in together aside, my ex did that same shit - constant TikTok videos with volume all the way up, often shoving his phone in my face while I was sleeping to show me something. It’s beyond irritating and disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 05:22 PM
20

Not an iPad, but my ex-husband figured out how to listen through an Alexa device he’d left in the hone to spy on me after we separated. I only found out because he got drunk one night while I was watching a movie alone, thought a guy was over, and started talking through the Alexa to tell the non-existent guy that “his wh*re was actually a married woman.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 01:17 PM
73

My ex thought it was HILARIOUS when he found this toy from my childhood that I told him I was terrified of as a kid (a specific doll) on eBay. Gave it to me as a Christmas gift and would hide it around the house for me to find and get scared by. Thought it would stop if I stopped reacting. He tried to put it in my bed while I was sleeping one night; I wanted to cry but just quietly put it away. Then he got angry at me for somehow both not reacting anymore and making a bigger deal out of it then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 01:05 PM
22

Oh god, I can’t imagine what “average looking” actually equates to. This guy is in for a sad, sad awakening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 06:57 PM
38

I caught that too, justifying why it’s okay to walk with the fact his girlfriend has a successful career where she travels frequently = insecure baby is sad his caretaker forever girlfriend puts her job before him. Cry me a river.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 06:00 PM
11

You are right, I should not have taken that personally. I do agree, most who claim they are are probably bullshitting. Grain of salt. Thank you for the important reminder, and I apologize as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 02:16 AM
12

Thank you for the warning. I’m may not be right, but I am attempting to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 01:14 AM
48

I’ve certainly been in situations like this and I think it just depends. Even for therapists, narcs can be hard to spot (hell, I married one!). Other times, it’s easier to fall into their good graces where the potential for experiencing the damage they can inflict is minimal. This is really common in the workplace where the emotional damage a narc can inflict is relatively situation-based (sure they might make work annoying, but that isn’t going to be forever or impact your entire life). My last…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 10:56 PM
246

Ooo, I’m a therapist and this is very true. The other big problem with couples therapy with a narcissistic is that they will NEVER be able to cope with the notion that something they said/did was wrong. Their egos can literally not take the idea of it. The second a therapist starts to point out the the issues with their constant projection, they will react by either refusing to participate in therapy or accusing the therapist of taking their partners side. They feel the therapist should be “neut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 09:20 PM
65

Yes, absolutely. I tend to be more lenient with family as we spend far less time together, but not with a romantic love partner. Others may disagree but everyone’s extended family situation is different. For me, I’m extremely close to my sisters and we don’t ask for lists (we might share things we DONT want- for example, I’m resolving to drink less and normally would love wine/spirits, but asked not to get those kind of gifts this year). My extended family isn’t nearly as close, but I know they’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:52 PM
16

One of the reasons I love being a therapist is getting an unfiltered look into the heads of these guys, despite how disturbing it is. I’ve had countless men tell me the primary reasons they married and rarely is it for love. Things like, oh I was moving to a new state and didn’t want to be alone, I was depressed and thought marriage would help give me purpose, she “saved me” from an addiction and I didn’t think I could stay sober on my own, I wanted sons before I’d be too old to play catch with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:13 PM
26

Damn, such a great point. Would love to see a post about narc gaze and how to spot it if someone has the time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:04 PM
116

I hope so. This post makes me so sad. This guy will eventually kill/seriously injure her, she’s already covering bruises he’s caused. To anyone reading: one of the number one correlates of being murdered by your intimate partner is having ever been choked by them. The rate is so high it’s something that’s routinely asked of dv survivors when assessing fatality risk. There’s a fucking reason why we don’t put up with rough sex - men who are into it are statistically far more likely to murder you, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:58 PM
27

Agree with this. I jumped into dating right away, pre-FDS though. If I’d known what I know now, I absolutely would not have started that soon. Divorce is as traumatic as experiencing the death of a loved one. Dating will trigger crap that you don’t even know you’re struggling with when you start too soon and don’t give space to allow yourself to be single, and increases your risk of missing red flags for the sake of going back to “normalcy” (relationship) even if that relationship isn’t healthy.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 09:10 PM
18

Sadly the only true career support I’ve ever gotten from men came from two HV teachers in high school and a handful of positive male colleagues over the years. Like many other posters, I was told I wasn’t smart enough to go to college (I have my Masters degree now), that I needed to focus less on my career (I’m a single mom - I have to support my family!), or the sarcastic begging from men I’ve dated/married. It’s no wonder men love to say that women are crazy or otherwise unstable. They will li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 05:26 PM
20

My god, there’s exes, and there’s exes in aviation who get brainwashed into thinking they’re gods gift to the planet and everyone should worship the ground they walk on. Even new partners find out what my ex does and react, “omg!! So awesome, loving the dream…” ick. No. He’s okay at a job that’s maybe 5% of the glamour you see in the movies, 95% political backstabbing, high school-esque drunken antics, and the run of the mill every other job bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:40 PM
370

My ex, who was this to a T, drunkenly explained why he hated me after I asked for a separation. I told him that as I grew my own confidence in myself, that he seemed to hate me more and more. His reply was, “yup. I couldn’t stand to see you outshining me, I wanted you to fail and feel like a failure so you wouldn’t leave.” Basically he was jealous and extremely insecure, but masked it by having the kind of job EVERYONE thinks is the top coolest one imaginable (hint: Top Gun), and when I didn’t p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 11:59 PM
277

This. Once I left my husband, my income tripled from what I made when we were married. Turns out the thing holding me back from success was a combo of my piss-poor mental health from the years of emotional neglect and abuse he put me through plus a scathing self-esteem issues I had from his constant disinterest/negging. Now, the SECOND a man tries to guilt me about my success, it’s an instant block. I will never allow anyone to try to talk me out of or dismiss my dreams. I will never stay with a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 11:02 PM
48

What in the copypasta hell is this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 06:52 PM
31

Understanding this through FDS has made me a better mother. I have a son in early puberty and and a daughter a few years younger than him. The rough play stuff was fine for a bit (she often engages him to begin with), but it was pretty clear that he was una ware of how much stronger he is than her. So we had to sit down and I basically told him, “Look. You will always be physically stronger than your sister. Soon you’ll be stronger than me. You need to learn now how to control your strength, bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:43 PM
4

Fair point. I don’t believe that an embryo is a life, not until it is born. I believe life begins at birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:04 PM
8

Yes. And it’s fine. If that’s what you believe, then you have that right. However, body autonomy and medical decisions are a right. I think where we disagree is that I feel women should have the right to make that choice for themselves. If other women want to make other decisions, then that’s completely fine, but I don’t think the state should have the ability to restrict a woman’s medical access to abortion services because some people feel it is immoral. You may feel differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 07:21 PM
47

Oh my goodness, that’s what my exhusband did. Years of emotional abuse and negging. He once message me after we separated that he’d found TRP and it could help save our relationship. Obviously that changed nothing, but damn if he didn’t end up snagging a princess pick me who is so brainwashed she’s the one who took care of all of the work of filing and responding to info requests FOR OUR DIVORCE 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:38 AM
15

Thank you for the reply. Again, I’m not going to downvote you. But I am going to challenge you. Where did those beliefs get instilled? Was this something you were told was right as a child? What informed those beliefs? Because every single one of our systems (religious, political, etc) all exist under patriarchy, the system designed to control women. We have to question these things and really examine where they originated to determine if these are values held because of truth versus what patria…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:04 AM
27

I’m not going to downvote you. Can I ask - why are you pro-life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:24 AM
92

No, but something like that can make someone who hasn’t been properly vetted change. It happens, quite a lot sadly. This post is to bring awareness to the fact that we’ve been vetting in an environment where abortion access was more or less present. That is likely going to change very quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:05 PM
10

I have a good friend who got with a guy 10 years older than her at 21, married her when she was 23, baby by age 30. She of course now looks amazing and he looks like a moist paper towel that got wrung out and laid flat to dry for re-use. I feel somewhat lucky that even in my pick me days that I had a rule for no one older than 5 years older. This rule ONLY existed because my stepfather is only 14 years older than me, and I thought it was too weird to date someone close in age to someone I saw as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:22 PM
13

Great point. When I was with one of my exes, I finally realized how bad my self-esteem and happiness had gotten. What’s scary is that once you’re with one of these guys, nothing will stop the negging. It will either escalate to abuse over the course of time, or it will become abuse when you call it out and try to set boundaries. My ex would often neg my parenting. When it got so bad that I started calling it out, that’s when I realized how much he hated me. I told him, in a calm, direct way, tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:54 PM
58

I would feel bad for him, but if what the poster described is happening daily, he clearly isn’t managing it and is probably doing that fucking “mEn DoNt SeE dOcToRs” as an excuse to eat whatever he wants while his body continues to fall apart. And she suffers for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:35 PM
21

My favorite part about this dumb post is that the situation is also complicated because boyfriend wants to pay off his mother’s house. Meanwhile, ms. Forever gf gets to wait to even go 50/50 smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 10:19 PM
205

I love tattoos on everyone (men, women, myself) and this is a great question! In addition to some of the comments you’ve heard, i think the attitude a man has about his tattoos is pretty important. Everyone decides to get a tattoo for their own reasons - it’s s great convo starter and s good way to get a guy to share something about himself and vet. I dated someone who had a bunch of tattoos but he didn’t bring them up. When i asked, each had a unique, interesting, generally HV response - and it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:09 PM
59

I love mentioning female cast remakes when I first start talking to a guy. Pro tip: If they start to irrationally froth at the mouth about films like Ghostbuster 2016 “ruining cinema,” you likely have yourself a full on misogynist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 05:50 PM
175

Well, there’s a few red flags here that may have prevented this situation to begin with: 1) 6 year age gap when they likely started dating when she was in her early 20s and he was already 26. 2) He’s a medical student. It’s not a dealbreaker, but they’re notorious narcs so extra vetting needed. As for vetting strategies: How is he with young children? How does he react when you change something about your appearance and don’t mention it to him (does he get angry? Does he notice? Does he notice a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:35 PM
65

Great insight! I’ll add some quick “drop the mask” tips: If he suggests a place for a date, say that you’d like to go to x place instead (not every time, just like once); it’ll help you gauge how he reacts when you disagree with him. Set boundaries and point out if he appears to be ignoring them. For example, before FDS, I was dating someone who got such JOY out of jokingly call in g me Karen. While this was itself enough reason to block, I didn’t - however, I clearly explained that I did not th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:57 PM
991

What the hell is a size 12-16 waist doing on a woman who’s 5’6” and 120 pounds. WERE NOT MADE LIKE THAT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:33 PM
31

“You’re hard to shop for.” “I couldn’t think of anything, you already buy whatever you want anyway.” “You’re hard to please.” DECODER: “I don’t care enough about you to learn your likes, dislikes, and interests. But I’ll project my failure as a partner onto you so you think it’s your fault that you’re disappointed. Also feel shame because cAnT yOu sEe I tRiEd, just appreciate the effort!” No thanks. How can I appreciate effort when you probably spent 30 seconds on Amazon looking at gift buying g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 07:21 PM
13

As someone who is part of the retire early community, on top of this guy being a complete pos, HES MISSING THE POINT COMPLETELY. The entire purpose of the work hard as f, save, and FIRE is so that you are not burdened with the need to work in order to live your life. This guy has had assets up the wazoo this entire time and could have backed off to support his family… but he chose not to because then he might be a slightly smaller millionaire? If you read between the lines a bit, this guy is in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:05 PM
50

I would take back Clippy. At least he shows up when he noticed you might need help with something, asks for your feedback if he screws something up, and generally seems to be a positive energy AI. Lol Clippy is higher value than all of my exes combined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:04 PM
36

It’s super real and an immediate block behavior. I was naive af after my divorce - I never really used OLD before I got married (2007) and then started after (2018). I live in a large military area and would match with these complete fuck boys who would copy/paste this shit into messages ALL THE TIME. The pick up communities online encourage it for the low-effort required and usually RP bro communities will have tons saved for them to copy/paste and send without having to even write it out thems…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:40 PM
18

I can start: My ex in college was so fucking crazy he would cut himself (only superficially), then text me the photos. Usually with a line like “K” if I broke and asked how he was doing, and “Look what you’re doing to me” if I didn’t. Back then, I tried to block him - but cell carriers in 2005 didn’t offer that option. It was either deal with it or change my number, which I mistakenly decided not to do. Guess what? That fucker is still alive. How I know this? Because he’s on a sex offender regis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:32 AM
88

This is actually a great example of why an age-gap relationship where the woman is older is also a bad idea. Men fetishize women over a certain age and gain social capital to an extent for this. Your value to a younger is male is 100% tied to your wealth and the much reduced risk of fertility. As you age, the wealth factor will become more and more important- even if you feel something more, younger men will discard you the moment your no longer positive social capital (your age become more of a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:48 AM
42

Lol right? All of those are fine… but it doesn’t negate the fact your boyfriend has been married to someone else your entire relationship and lied about it. And still married to his best friend? So… is he filing for the divorce now? Or is he going to see that OP is staying regardless, wait for her to reattach her codependency fully, then “try out” some fresh ideas for their relationship? Since they weren’t really exclusive, what if they explored openings things up? 🤡 This is the danger of stayin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 09:17 PM
438

I cackled when I read that. So basically doing exactly what the guy wants - acting “hard to get” emotionally so he doesn’t have to even pretend this is anything more than sex to him. Imagine her disappointment when she realizes he was never chasing her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:01 PM
4

Aww I’m glad I found your comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:52 PM
27

Me too! We’re the most unique personality type, even more so when you’re on the cusp of thinking/feeling being fairly equal. I used to explain to folks that even though I feel my feelings quite strongly and sense those in others, that I tend to take those as inputs into how I think about a situation - I don’t see how this is difficult to understand but apparently it’s a very specific way of thinking and processing information. It’s the gift of presence and mindfulness in day to day life and the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:40 PM
103

As a therapist, it’s fascinating to me how folks can view FDS content and walk away with the attitude that there’s anything inappropriate about the main themes and guidance. As women, we are systematically abused - by our families, friends, romantic partners, the court system, our employers, our coworkers - and told that ITS JUST THE WAY IT IS. I so desperately wish that a community like FDS existed when I was a teenager - it would have affirmed the beliefs I held about the injustices of patriar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 10:02 PM
45

Another fun ex husband story - towards the end of our marriage we had 3 kids under 5. I was 100% responsible for getting them up and ready each morning, bringing them to child care, commuting/working for 11 hours, picking them up and getting them to activities, appointments, play dates, practices, then fed and into bed. While breastfeeding. Every day. By the time I got to bed (11ish), knowing I had to get up by 5 every day, I was exhausted. Once I was watching TV on the couch at the end of the d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:27 AM
167

Agree. I did pageants in high school for the scholarship money (a specific one intended for college-bound women). The first year wasn’t too bad - lots of emphasis on your resume, written submission, talent and less on physical appearance. Then this massive Karen pick me took it over - eliminated the written essay, got a bunch of “traditional” pageant judges (ie middle aged losers) with a HUGE emphasis on appearance (and specifically on how much it looked like you spent on your hair, dress, etc.)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:28 PM
97

A kind of friend that I was considering dating once agreed to pick me up from the airport a few years ago after a business trip. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he insisted (I needed to leave my car at home and live about 90 minutes from the airport). I was getting back a little late (9 pm) and asked him several times if he was sure. He assured me he was, so I had my kids nanny drive me there. When I got back, it was around 9:30 when I deplaned and got my luggage. He hadn’t been responding t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:44 PM
145

Ive seen this happen a few times - for almost all of them, the guy either doesn’t actually want a baby a d is just running out the clock intentionally, doesn’t want a baby and got a vasectomy but never told her (so when he’s run out her clock he can act like their fertility issues were her fault for being older), and the worst example - they want kids, just not with their current partner, but they don’t have the cajones to simply break up, so they wait until they “have a reason to end it” (somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 12:48 PM
151

Oh man - I don’t work with a ton of men in therapy but they do come in. Years ago I had one tell me about his first marriage that ended in divorce. He had moved to the US from another country with his fiancée of several years. He was a citizen; she was not. He told me he “had to marry her within three months or she’d have to return” but that he KNEW HE WASNT IN LOVE WITH HER but that breaking up wasn’t an option because HE DIDNT WANT TO DEAL WITH BEING ALONE IN A NEW PLACE. So he married her kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 03:44 PM
28

Some men do this half-hearted “step up my fellows” thing for a bit but it’s rare and inconsistent. It’s almost like men know the nature of other men and that trying to convince them that their views are wrong isn’t worth the energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:47 PM
54

You can blame libfems for that. Forcing the “you can do it all!” Line down our throats while thinking it’d be easier to achieve equality by convincing women they HAD to do it all and not pressuring men to step the fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:10 AM
1

To be fair this entire thread is gross and triggering, I have a hard time reading what I wrote 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 11:24 PM
105

For myself and I think many women on here, early trauma and emotional neglect contribute so much to this. I have an ACE score of 9. Statistically, I should be dead, homeless, or in prison. For those with similar experiences, the idea that someone could even notice you feels like love, triggers a feeling of love. But it isn’t love. It’s fucking abusive men who see that trauma and exploit it. If you are a trauma survivor like myself, please just wait. Wait until you’re out of that environment to d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 11:22 PM
27

No lie - I had an ex who explained that he couldn’t wipe himself properly because even touching his a-hole with toilet paper was “gay.” He’d shower afterward to clean himself but wouldn’t really clean it. Yes I was an ultra-pick me who still dated him for a bit afterwards. Yes he reeked of shitty Axe body spray. It’s so pathetic - “I’m so insecure about my sexuality that I’ll literally allow myself to develop a crusty shit hole because cleaning myself properly means I want it in the butt.” Miss …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 09:52 PM
5

Luckily I only rolled about 20k of the student loans over before I graduated and wasn’t able to subsidize his payments with my own debt. But some basic math shows just how fucked I got through the divorce: owned 40k is his debt in my own student loans 10k in attorney fees lost 20k from savings when he took it (plus whatever he wanted from the house) for 18 months of our separation, he paid about 3k less per month than what he would have been required to by the military until things were finalize…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:58 PM
4

I hope you are doing better. My financial recovery took about three years but finally being able to breathe a bit has helped my stress level tremendously. If you’re struggling feel free to PM me, I’m happy to share ways to I took my sahm time and made my skills more appealing as a job seeker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:16 PM
169

My ex-husband and I had known each other since high school, started dating the last year of college, and married about a year later. We’d lived together for awhile, and while I worked full-time while attending grad school and worked a second job, he only did school (saying his program was more demanding). I did the majority of the cooking and cleaning. I knew had student loan debt but not how much and didn’t question his finances because he assured me he’d saved up money while attending communit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:30 PM
46

I know we poke a bit at the pick me’s, but this story just truly breaks my heart. This poor girl has probably never had a person in her life who loved her or treated her with the respect she deserves. I hope so much that she’s able to get the help she needs with seeing her value and the horrific monster her sperm donor is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:44 AM
159

I once had an ex in college who tried to forbid me from using tampons since he didn’t like the idea of something being in there that wasn’t him. No i am not joking. If men have nothing else, they have the audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:14 AM
120

Absolutely. I’m dressed to the nines and out for the evening? I don’t give af about stolen glances. But if I’m at a fucking wal-mart in a messy bun trying to adjust my mask so it doesn’t fog my glasses and wrangle my kids so we can gtfo… don’t fucking state at my yoga pants ass and mental picture some shit for later. And don’t talk to me, I AM BUSY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:48 PM
80

Yeah after reading the confessions of a narc in therapy and what he listed as the top 8 or so traits his partners had in common - it’s hard to read stuff like this. It’s hard to see myself in these stories. I’m 35 and absolutely love the kids I had with me ex, but it’s this exact stuff that happened to me and happens to other women endlessly. At the very least this guy dropped his mask before he ruined her entire life; hopefully she gets help and sees that her life isn’t over and she needs to se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:08 PM
14

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart And it's wounded beat I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling What do you thank me What do you thank me for The climax of the song always gets me - it’s so freaking good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:29 PM
79

On top of that - who murdered the young boys? MEN. Men did that. Because a young boy is just as discardable to them as women and female children are. If you can’t fight, then your dead - unless your body can be used as a baby factory to grow their numbers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 10:46 PM
57

I had a similar experience. I think gentleness in general is a positive sign, but I’ve also known many women who’s abusers would behave that way around everyone (their kids, families, friends, pets, strangers) but increasingly would turn rage towards their female partners. I think it has to do with contempt/anger towards women in general, but it’s so confusing for someone who’s being abused when a man is wonderful to literally everyone and treats his gf/wife like dirt (and makes it even harder t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:28 PM
8

Maybe we don’t get to a Handmaids Tale scenario because of some fertility pandemic. Maybe it’s this way. This is exactly the kind of mindset that all of us are fighting against.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:44 PM
37

Someone should give him a chance = a woman should have sacrificed herself alone to prevent this mass tragedy. So basically blaming women but, I think more scary, feeling entitled enough to think that if one woman was willing to “give him a chance”, ie lead a life of misery and abuse, well… at least its just one compared to 5 or 10 or more! /s Men really just NEED to understand, for the love of all that is holy, women are NOT tools to use to emotionally unload so that you don’t fucking kill peopl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 03:04 AM
30

My playbook for being out in public when I don’t want to be approached: Never make eye contact Phone in hand, ideally on or chatting quietly with someone Eye on the prize - focus on the mission of getting in and out of this coffee shop I get called rude at times but honestly this is a bit self protective; I have hearing loss and an incredibly hard time hearing specific voices in loud environments (kind of like Nate from the office, it’s a real thing!). When I’ve been less RBF and men have tried …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:50 PM
175

My exhusband was so similar and definitely escalated after we were married. Here’s the LVM logic I think played out: This girl is confident and awesome! I must have her because she is so much that I’m not. I got the girl and everything is great. I’m insecure and feel emasculated by my wife, so I’m going to slowly destroy her confidence and refuse to take any interest in her goals so that her entire life revolves around making me happy. Ugh, my wife has gotten so BORING over the years - where the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:35 PM
176

So that’s where the dead bedroom with my ex came from. He had zero interest in physical intimacy of any kind and could only engage and finish of it was a r*pe play act. I would never finish and frequently be sobbing by the time it was over. My ex would roll over and fall asleep while I cried. NVM will completely destroy your life and not care; even worse are the ones like my ex who get satisfaction from watching their partners suffer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:27 PM
3

I worked at a domestic violence center in the early 2000s and worked with women much older than me who got into the field because they had been abused, some of them during the era you’re referring to. They survived through community. Women knew what other women went through, and those that made it out survived by helping each other. One woman I worked with told me that her mother was abused severely in the 1930s by her father. He would start the day by hiding a small item (a coin, pin) somewhere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 08:29 PM
38

Ding ding! This was me. We had to wait a year before filing after we separated. My ex had his new girlfriend do all of the divorce paperwork, then he filed in the state he had moved to a year earlier (literally across the country from me and the kids) before I could. So then I had to hire two attorneys - one in my state to file in the proper jurisdiction and one in his state to get the case he filed dismissed based on bring the wrong jurisdiction. Just paying to deal with his fuck up cost over $…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 08:14 PM
30

My sister and I were having brunch a couple of years ago at this place in Austin and had to sit at the bar where the kitchen pass-through window was located. We were having a great time… and then our food was brought out. Both of our plates had hand-written notes folded up and put under the food (so the bartender wouldn’t see) with “love” messages and the phone numbers of the line cooks who wrote them. Apparently these scrotes were WATCHING us from the kitchen the entire time. Luckily the barten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:31 PM
16

This is literally the funniest thing to me. Men may have a strength advantage, but when it comes to actually planning out projects, preparing all materials needed before they get started, and actually following instructions to completion, women stand head and shoulders above them. Yet we constantly get shut down from participating in these skills. It’s like the last thing men know they sort of contribute when they’re LVM in general. All the more reason to support women in learning these skills!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:24 PM
153

Ugh. Honestly the thing that bothers me the most about this is that it’s such a glaring example of the hypocrisy around expectations for men and women’s behavior in marriage. Imagine if the tables were turned - she’s dealing with a problem she owns (like needing to pack a bag for an upcoming trip) and realizing she needs help. If a woman stood there shouting instructions and questions at her spouse while insisting she didn’t actually need any help, the man would either a) throw a fit b) get abus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:51 AM
186

I was able to convince her to come stay at my place when she texted me that he was “still at the bar” at 10 last night and her house was in the mid-90s. Thankfully she’s fully aware that she needs to leave this scrote but needs time to work her exit strategy. Sadly there were red flags before marriage but it was pre-FDS for us both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:36 AM
21

I was literally just walking back and forth from our table to the bathroom and back at a casino recently - three guys tried to stop me to hit on me. I kept eyes on where I was headed and pretended I didn’t hear them. Two called me a bitch and one came after me after his friends said that I didn’t hear him. And that was just EXISTING in their space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 08:02 PM
41

That last line is so important - that we’ve done nothing to deserve the treatment we get. I know men flip the victim/perp on a personal level all of the time as a gaslighting tool, but on top of that, they do it to us an entire gender. Men have tried (and succeeded) in convincing women that we somehow DESERVE the treatment we get from men, when we absolutely do not. That’s where I see the benefit of FDS - finally a place to unravel the lies men and society have perpetuated to keep women oppresse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 11:23 AM
50

Oh my gosh - this comment reminded me of my absolute hatred of the word basic and how men use it to devalue pretty much anything women like or enjoy. It’s a great vetting strategy though - if a guy even utters that word to describe something it’s such a huge red flag. Back tf up Kyle, I’m just trying to enjoy a fucking macchiato.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:35 PM
96

This is the thing I left my ex over (well one of them). I didn’t know he was watching porn - I was just so sick and tired of him “pooping” for as long as 2-3 hours every fucking day and leaving me to take care of everything in the evenings/on weekends. I never put together that he was just in there, jerking it for hours, until just now. Ugh how did I still have respect to lose for him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:09 AM
8

Also don’t date a car guy, good god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:12 PM
1

I get soooo frustrated at times trying to meet other women with similar values who are HV. Like, even going to a park Playdate with a group of moms new to the area, sometimes I feel like I’m dragging out conversation with other women who have little interesting going on and make the conversation a weird, one-sided interview because they never ask any questions, just talk about their kids and spouses. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:11 PM
144

Did you read the part where that NVM scrote taught her son to call her by her first name to get her attention when she was trying to work? What a pos. Ugh I can’t with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:42 PM
11

Love this one. “Please don’t call me that name.” “OH MY GOD WHY ARENT YOU LETTING ME VERBALLY ABUSE YOUUUUU”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:01 PM
249

Oh my god, and as a single mom with a contentious ex-husband, you can’t make any mistakes! He gets away with being an atrocious prick and doing the minimum with the kids, but everyone thinks he’s some kind of martyr for helping them with their homework. Meanwhile if my oldest son sneaks around and misses 10 minutes of virtual school because I was in the bathroom, I get threatened with a CPS call. Edit: Obligatory #protectyourwomb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:47 PM
6

As a therapist I’d say get a new therapist. If you’re having the rift, it’s going to disrupt the therapy process and you’ll both feel frustrated. It’s okay to find a new one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:29 PM
81

That’s the kind of comment a scrote with one hand in his pants types out, good lord. Nevermind male peacocks are the only ones with the nice tail feathers, the females are plain. Ugh they’re all so stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:54 PM
189

Lol I was chatting with my father recently who decided to spice up our dinner Zoom conversation with some gross fart jokes. Noticing my face, he said, “what? It’s natural! Everyone needs to fart.” So I told a joke about period shits and he looked visibly sick. “What? It’s natural! Everyone poops and you wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for menstrual cycles!” Mature? No, but worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 06:01 PM
10

So, anecdotal, but my heavy periods got FAR worse when I had the copper IUD. More intense cramping, much heavier flow, and lasted up to two weeks. I decided I’d wait a year to see if they let up (as my doctor advised) but it just got worse over time. So I was ready to get it removed but then found out I’d gotten pregnant again while it was still inserted with baby #3. Then was told It would need to be removed with a 50/50 chance the removal would cause miscarriage. I ended up getting the removal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:29 PM
64

I double-minored in Anthropology and that was my exact line of thinking when this conversation happened. It seemed like such a “no shit Sherlock” reason for why gender roles exist but the reaction was so angry that I just dropped it in the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:00 PM
27

Lol Im sure this guy is doing 10% of what he claims as it is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:33 PM
55

Omg the comments. Here’s a gem from a m a l e redditor: I see the folks saying our your foot down. Let me give the opposite advice: don't. Ask for some help from fam. Structure some time for self-care (for me that's hiring the babysitter even if my wife is around the house). Do your best at work, but keep reminding people you've got other responsibilities. I'm only saying these things bc what you're dealing with is also my life. I'm 100% of bills and everything else. Wife is still suffering from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:56 PM
143

Here’s the problem: they ain’t clueless. They know EXACTLY what they are doing. Men constantly use the “oh, I don’t now what you need, oh don’t blame me for not helping more, I just don’t know how to be better” as an excuse for their wretched behavior and selfishness. If they really didn’t know, they they wouldn’t get so god damn angry and resistant when women follow the advice to communicate or set boundaries. Men want to claim that they don’t have the tools to see when their spouse needs help?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:55 PM
230

And here’s the real bullshit of it... let’s say she kicks him out, leaves him, whatever. Is there a chance he’ll just leave her alone and let her live her life? Maybe. She won’t get any support but at least she’ll be free. But more often than not, that guy will all of a sudden become SUPERDAD. Gaslight her into thinking she’s ruining their family. Refuse to agree to a reasonable custody agreement because more and more courts think “50/50 iS bEsT” and become a Disneyland dad. Run her through the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 01:47 PM
56

Based on their reasoning, the perp could be charged/convicted with misdemeanor sexual assault but not the felony rape charge. So a possible slap on the wrist versus holding them accountable for what they actually did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 02:52 AM
155

From another article: “Minnesota is among a majority of states that treat intoxication as a barrier to consent only if the victim became drunk against their will. As of 2016, intoxication provisions in 40 states did not include situations where someone chose to consume drugs or alcohol, according to Brooklyn Law Review.” Yet another reason why women in the US WILL NOT get justice for being sexually assaulted. The law is literally designed to blame victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:29 AM
19

Oh boy I like this one! 1) His was of “coping” with conflict was to go silent. Anytime I disagreed with something or tried to assert a boundary, he’d just ignore me (or if I persisted would blow up then hide elsewhere or leave the house). 2) would often subject me to periods of silence/emotional drought for days or weeks at a time. The same song and dance -I’d notice he was being different, I’d ask if something was wrong, he’d deny anything was wrong and get angry that I’d even ask... after a pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:10 AM
130

I don’t have time to make a super long comment, but I was married to an military officer for 11 years. I’ve also worked with a ton of current and former military spouses as a therapist. There’s a lot of red flags about this lifestyle - the erasure of identity through basic training/OCS, trauma exposure through training deployments, frequent absences, etc. There’s a culture of cheating, misogyny, utter HATE directed towards spouses (that ones true from pretty much everyone, active duty and the pi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:18 PM
21

Im so glad Im not the only one! It’s as fake as the grandstanding argument she’s trying to stand up as an actual narrative. “Oooweee, laaaadies, y’all gotta trust m’naw. I’m a real southern woman and jus havta impart wisdom, y’all are BREAKING, and I do declare, BREAKING, these good men!!” 😂🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:26 PM
81

It really is! Unless you have a great, vetted HVM, having children with a LVM/NVM man will absolutely destroy even the strongest of women. Leaving my ex made parenting so much easier. Even though he lived on the other side of the country, at least there were times when he HAD TO TAKE the kids. When we were together I couldn’t even spend an hour enjoying a coffee and a book out of the house without a frantic phone call. And since he’s gone most of the time now, I don’t have to have my hopes dashe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:08 PM
11

OH WHAT THE FUCK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:35 PM
31

Poor kid. Can you imagine if she gave it back to him like he’s giving it to her? “I’ll give him space, he might need it...” Then a few days later, man child texts her, “We’re over. Clearly you don’t care about me.” There is no “right” way except block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:26 PM
37

Hard agree. I’m in my mid-thirties and date up to five years older. The worst men were the ones in that age range who’d never married. Typically moved out of their mommies house well into their thirties, 100% obsessed with themselves and their own needs, don’t value long-term relationships or the effort needed to make them work. I understand that it’s an unpopular opinion on this sub, but there are HVM who exist who are divorced. An old, very good friend of mine who I’d say exemplifies HVM in re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:49 PM
29

Honestly I think 95% of the stuff they say pick mes engage in is either 1) made up 2) heavily exaggerated 3) somewhat truthful but a result of their crazy-making “strategies” I have an idiot family member who loves to go ON AND ON about ex wife constantly screwing him over, doing crazy stuff, etc. On a family zoom call I finally called him out snd said, “I wonder if she’s upset that she caught you in bed with the nanny after she almost died” (car accident). Cry me a fucking river that she finall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:13 PM
20

When I see stuff like this, I have to actively stop myself from trying to rationalize it because after awhile it gives me an actual headache.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:44 PM
39

I believe you. Back when I was still into OLD I encountered a handful of guys that would send block of text copypasta. I googled a couple of them and realized they were pulling them from a few sites that encouraged guys to put as little effort into dating, cast a wide net, and basically said, “here, use this template, change the first 4-5 details, and let it loose.” If you ever get a block of text message, 99% of the time it’s a BLOCK AND DELETE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:39 PM
42

I don’t know about this “researcher” but I definitely gave my Masters degree capstone project a big bear hug before sending her off to judgment. Aside from that, I hate this idea of gatekeeping a woman’s right to choose what she wishes to celebrate. I’ve had three babies who I love dearly. I hug them. I have a cat who puts up with me. I hug them. I have friends who are making waves in their own industries - when it’s safe, guess what, all the fucking hugs! The message behind this, that somehow a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 04:27 PM
8

I’ve gotten several requests to DM the name of the place this came from. This is a repost from a private FB group, so I can’t say what the comments on the original post were. The group it was posted in is unfortunately subject to frequent reporting/temp closures so I won’t share the group name (the mods there deal with enough as it is) but the reactions in that group are almost entirely aligned with ours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:10 PM
43

I really debated throwing the trigger tag on this and I apologize that happened to you. I grew up in the US with limited exposure to religion growing up but work with clients as a therapist who share stories like the one above all of the time and how horrific it can be to escape from and live through. Thank you for sharing your experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:22 PM
42

OP here: Another detail I think is worth pointing out is this whole “I brought her to school” and this is the thanks I get. I HOPE that he means “I paid for her school” or at least “I brought her to school with me when I attended, I moved her with me” (not great but eh...), from the original thread though, there’s at least some that think it literally means “I used to physically drive her to school” and we all know the abusive, grooming shit that implies. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:19 PM
46

Would love to know if there are any great books/resources on raising your boys to be HVM. I have 2 under age 10 and a daughter that’s the middle child. Luckily they are with me 90% of the time but they do have contact with their LVM father who’s a malignant narcissist and emotionally exploitative pos. So... actively trying to prevent them from turning into that monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:25 PM
11

My ex and I had moved in together when I already had a cat. He assured me he was fine with me “keeping the cat,” but all cat related chores were my responsibility. My cat went through a rough period where she would defecate outside of her litter box 1-2x a week. Because of the set up of the house, I literally would not see it unless I was down there cleaning the box (usually early morning). My SO would come home, check, then come upstairs to tell me the cat had gone outside of the box and to cle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:57 PM
5

Hard agree. Especially if you get a great therapist. I’m one and do couples therapy, and it can help to have a third party point out things the couple hasn’t yet considered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 09:56 PM
9

Literally military men are the absolute worst. I understand the demands of the career (I was an AD spouse for 10 years), but the mindset it instills is beyond atrocious and makes them think they can get away with literally anything because they’re gods gift to the world. Meanwhile you’re managing EVERYTHING at home, raising their children, piecing together some semblance of a career, and receiving zero support except from the low-effort attempts of family readiness which basically just tell you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 11:13 PM
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