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KerPop42 Archive

View 2 posts and 1,068 comments by KerPop42 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

DiscussionKerPop42/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 09:39 PM
13

DiscussionKerPop42/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/17 02:44 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,068 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being. Robert Anton Wilson
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:31 AM
4

I don't know a single well-adjusted military person Lots of the maladjusted military people have senses of humor about it, though
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 06:43 PM
5

This is because dads tend to provide social needs, while moms tend to provide physical needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:31 PM
17

Daddy issues make you a people pleaser (see: Zuko) Mommy issues make you a psychopath (see: Azula)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:29 PM
1

I guess what I'm trying to say is that thus filter isn't necessarily making your looksmatch, it's just making a masculine version of your face, if tuned to anything tuned to maximizing shareability
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 01:05 AM
1

Honestly, I just don't think it's popular. Those it works for use it a lot and make noise, but those it doesn't work for just don't use it and don't make noise.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 01:01 AM
1

Okay, so it's based on app developers' tastes And people's tastes can be widely divergent; an aggregate isn't necessarily meaningful or predictable. The term is Simpsons's paradox; multiple independent correlations can be aggregated to yield an incorrect correlation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 12:43 AM
3

Account for it based on who? Detailing the differences between genders is the work of like, multiple scientific fields, most of them not well funded. Also, different people have different taste, there's no common axis to flip on.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/23 10:26 PM
5

Yeah, I read your title to mean that 20% of guys are taking part in 84% of sex acts
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:15 AM
1

I'll try to find the source if you want it, but one of the most universal sex stats is that everyone thinks they're having much less than average sex
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:02 AM
1

Netflix might have pigeonholed you, its algorithm can really get to the point where it's only showing you one or two types of stories
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 02:52 PM
1

If the research was done on dating apps, doesn't that mean more that women *that use dating apps* have more similar preferences, rather than women overall? Which also makes sense if the number of women on dating apps is smaller than the number of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 10:31 PM
0

based on the data Oooh, you have a source? Pls, show me!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 05:35 AM
8

Trying to condense all men's desires to a cogent truth isn't going to work. There's probably several men out there whose #2 desire is to never have to cook again
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 10:44 PM
2

Def fight for it. Once you lose your right to strike, every other labor right falls. My health insurance is paid by my job, which means if I want to leave my job, I lose my doctors and my ability to pay for healthcare. That makes me much more tolerant of abuse from my employer.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 07:19 PM
2

Meanwhile in the US, train operators spend 28 days a month on call
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 06:16 PM
1

No, I was getting trained at an office job contracted by the government. There were no alternative schedules I could have changed to, and every time we charged hours to a weekend required specific permission from the project lead. He was doing shift work and had already changed his schedule.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 04:13 PM
1

No, that was just one example. We had other arguments that built up over time, and, well, we're both in happy relationships now. There were things both of us could have done better, but ultimately we weren't compatible. We were together for as long as we could be, but the baggage of the unresolvable arguments just kept building up. And it wasn't just that I was a shitty boyfriend. Yes the question will always be, we're my standards too high and he couldn't meet them or was his behavior too poor …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 02:55 PM
1

When a relationship goes sour, that's what happens. Arguments that don't resolve stick around. Or, the thing you're arguing about has such an impact on each others' lives that you can't ignore it. For example, my ex was trying to change his schedule to have one day of the weekend off so that we could be together, but he made a mistake and shifted it the wrong way, so even the days before and after the weekend were busy. He was too anxious to confront his manager about it, and I was reminded of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 02:30 PM
2

You're forgetting the simple fact that I'm already dating the most beautiful woman in the world. You might introduce me to someone very pretty, or very sexy, but has she taught me how to make her favorite pasta? Have we played Frisbee in the park on the first true spring day? Then sorry, she's not more beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 02:22 PM
1

I can believe that someone could be mad at this. It's the internet, there's probably someone actively ranting about butterflies at this moment. But I'm gonna need evidence that this is a widespread-enough freakout to justify the effort of pointing and laughing
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 06:06 PM
1

Because he's not looking for it, easy as that. He doesn't think he can be manipulated back, and he's not eve checking for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 04:30 PM
1

Lol me too, I got my practice being a gifted student in school women aren't special
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:38 PM
4

Manipulating and knowing when you're being manipulated are two separate skills, with different goals and that require paying attention to different things. However, if a manipulator is being manipulated, I'm not that worried to tell them. I think manipulators deserve each other, especially since you can choose to stop manipulating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 02:39 PM
9

If you're calling it "the strongest hormone in the world," i think you already know you're overstating things. Testosterone, like many other major chemicals, can cause depression when out of whack. That's also true of vitamins B and D and seratonin.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:03 PM
8

Eh, speak for yourself. Some people date for bad or unsustainable reasons. Some people are attracted to drama. Choosing dates with your dick isn't a recipe for long-term success
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:25 PM
1

I mean, that's true MGTOW, right? Well, that and gay men lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 11:05 PM
1

Well, what do you mean by winning? Also, I don't think Red Queen rules apply to relationships; by their nature, both sides benefit from a relationship. When I date someone, it's to make their and my lives better. Personally, I think men have a lot to gain from women's lib. The a partner might be harder to get, but they also bring more to the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 10:38 PM
2

I agree that social change is changing the game, but I disagree that less stark distinctions is the specific change doing that. I also don't think that the new game is one where it's possible to be locked into a losing state. In the old game, women had limited social power and had no choice but to attach herself to a man to live in society fully. In that game, being a man in a world with a roughly even gender ratio was all you needed. Nowadays, women don't need us, so we actually have to offer s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:57 PM
1

Yes, and I mentioned it. Change the economy. Incels need to build up their social skills, and their issue is that their life sucks and they haven't been given the tools or time to practice to get better. Therapy would help with giving them tools, but only by allowing people to work less can they actually have the time to practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:51 PM
5

Distinctions between men and women should just be much less formal. I mean, we're already on that track but feeling loyalty to these tribes causes so much anxiety and violence. They shouldn't necessarily go away entirely, but they're descriptors, they serve us not vice versa. I kind of think there's no social way to solve incels. That kind of self-reinforcing depression and social anxiety is solved from the side, not head-on. I think our current economy sucks so much energy out of people they do…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:01 PM
2

Okay yeah, I don't have anything against people who don't want to go down as a personal preference, I over reached there. But I've seen a kind of guy who thinks that giving head is a submissive act and is proud of the fact that they only receive head, you know? And yeah, lol, definitely pied himself in the face there. Iirc that was the thing that destroyed his credibility, right? That was the last I'd heard of him
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 02:02 PM
7

Or yeah, just a sex-based insult. I don't think it's a woman thing, just an asshole thing. There are equivalent insults for women, like how they can't get people to sleep with them. It's a shallow, immature insult and I don't think much of people who use them. I only think it's funny when guys openly admit it themselves, like saying they don't go down on their wives or when Ben Shapiro said women's orgasms don't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:49 PM
4

I agree that it's an attack on generosity, and a little bit on skill. It's mostly calling them self-centered.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:33 PM
3

It matters, but not a lot in my experience. How attractive you are is really, really subjective. For example, I know someone with a big nose, heavy brow, and small jaw. However, because I like him, I think of his face has having dramatic features, instead of being out of some arbitrary proportion. Likewise, I'm not very physically fit, and judging by my relatives I'm never going to be thin. However, I'm able to get people to like me, and so, through context, I look better. I'm not fat, I have me…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:32 PM
10

Eh, I've made a woman come with my mouth and fingers more than with my dick. I just get more finesse that way, you know? And dick size doesn't really mean anything when it comes to fingerblasting skill
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:20 PM
1

Yeah, it's a ratio, how much more resources and life experience you have relative to each other. As a 25-year-old, I had 2x experience in adult life than a 23-year-old. 3 years later and that ratio's dropped to 1.4
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:11 PM
26

If your relationship with this person is already so contentious that you care about the difference between "you made me cum" and "I came with you" your relationship is probably in a pretty bad place. However, I personally think that orgasms are good, and so I would like my partner to have some if they want. Not everyone with a vagina can come easily, though, so the rules are soft, but generally if you're having sex with someone, don't you care about making sure they have a good time? Also, I fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:03 PM
1

So, if said like a non-sociopath, personality compatibility? Because I think you're trying to describe someone you can control, and a good partnership is equal parts give and take
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 03:15 AM
1

I'm sorry, but what's a "mindset productive to an association with a man?"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 09:01 PM
11

At my sister's bday party, but I've also met fun, smart women at board game nights. Library events and volunteer events might be good places to meet people too. My main method is to try to meet a lot of people and make friends, and then they introduce me or recommend me, or someone that really fits me shows up. Specifically looking to pick up people isn't the only way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 06:04 PM
12

Eh. Depending on the definition if high value. The person I'm dating likes supercar and is studying architecture. Sure she's not a millionaire, but she's someone I'm attracted to and will happily spend tons of time with. For me high value means personality and interests. As long as I'm materially stable, that's what's important
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 05:28 PM
3

I'll be honest, I don't know a ton about it, I just think it makes a good meme format
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 06:51 PM
9

Thesis: women have no place in the military Antithesis: the military shouldn't act like men's lives are more disposable Synthesis: they should make the draft gender-agnostic so everyone agrees to abolish it
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 06:36 PM
–

He's not particularly wealthy or powerful, he's just a commoner, he works at a middling law firm, and he fails a lot for his successes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 04:22 PM
–

Idk but he's not like, the best she can do by rp standards
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 03:59 PM
–

Iirc the princess of Japan's boyfriend (husband?) just failed the bar again
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 03:36 PM
–

Also, it's not just gold-digging. People like stability and options, and money and esteem brings that. I mostly date het, and tbh transactional relationships are not sustainable. They exist, but eventually needs or supply is going to change and if that's the thing holding your relationship together it gets messy. I've also seen relationships of any orientation where one person is providing a majority of the support, and they get messy when a disagreement pops up, because one person has a lot mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 03:35 PM
1

I graduated from school 15 years ago, I'm not interested in spending more time taking tests. If she doesn't trust me enough to directly come to me with her insecurities, then there's no relationship to be had. I think those kinds of tests aren't temporary; if they're how she vets you now, they're going to be how she vets you in 6 months and 5 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 02:13 PM
2

Honestly? A couple days ago, with this person I just started seeing. We have greet personal chemistry and a lot of energy, but also a good amount of experience so we can keep it fresh. Also, good sex is sex you can laugh during!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 02:23 AM
2

1) Been in 4 relationships, the most recent one blew all the others out of the water 2) the most recent one lasted 5 3/4 years, all the others lasted less than 6 months 3) interests being similar but slightly different started my relationships on the right foot, and empathy and communication helped them be stable. 4) every relationship helped me learn how to be a better person and lover. Successes and failures are both important.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 05:14 PM
2

I don’t know about a country as small as France, but generally northern food is a lot more calorie dense. Gotta get you through that tough winter, you see.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:19 PM
4

Smegma doesn’t happen if you wash yourself more than once a week. Also it’s natural, like vaginal discharge. Dead skin should be considered more gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:59 PM
8

Wild, right? There are a few YouTube documentaries on him, and he’s mentioned on Adam Ruins Everything This was a man for whom the world was just too horny
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:35 PM
2

Will Keith Kellogg was a Seventh-Day Adventist, a fundamentalist Christian.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:30 PM
6

Jews do it for religious reasons, but in America it was proposed as a way to stop teens from masturbating by Kellogg, and then became a tradition *masturbating, not masticating
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:13 PM
19

Tradition. It was established as an American custom before Americans valued children’s rights. The idea of the time, especially supported by Kellogg, was that getting rid of the foreskin and clitoris would stop sex from being enjoyable and stop people from masturbating. That’s also why he invented corn flakes: the idea was that if you made people’s lives as bland as possible, they wouldn’t sin. That was in the 1900’s, and although boiling off girls’ clitorises with acid fell out of vogue, it bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:12 PM
1

It’s sort of ingrained, but not entirely. Testosterone dampens out our feelings and makes us more aggressive, but it doesn’t make us feel uncomfortable about expressing ourselves; how we’re raised does that. Since we were kids, our families and friends teach us to “suck it up” and “be a man” and that crying is for girls. They teach us to be ashamed of our feelings. And not just feelings of anger or injustice, but also feelings of loss, or happiness, or companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:04 PM
1

Nah, a lot of girls have said that they like how I’m emotionally open and caring. A lot of those girls still had no interest in dating me because I was dating someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 03:53 PM
3

Lol, that’s not been my experience whatsoever The guys stayed my friends but looking back we were shitty friends. The girls thought it was dumb and childish and didn’t really care. The guy who revoked my man card didn’t end up dating anyone in high school. Me? Being emotionally vulnerable/available worked in my favor. A couple girls had crushes on me in high school, despite me being pretty socially incompetent, and I didn’t have a hard time in college either. Girls who turn around and fall in lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 03:05 AM
2

Not just women. Most of the abuse I got for being emotional and expressive was from my guy friends. Revoking my “man card” wasn’t something my girl friends did
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 02:34 AM
3

Masculine social norms that are harmful. For example, pretending that feeling emotions or connections with each other is emasculating, or that men can’t be vulnerable. I think it’s not the best framework to talk about men’s lib, but that’s what it refers to
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:04 AM
4

They themselves created? Who do you think created the dating app? Ada Lovelace? We don’t have major community centers anymore. Until even 30, 40 years ago Church was so important it functioned as the community center that would host other events where you could meet new people, not just a place for service. I just graduated college a couple years ago, and the fact that there’s no wider version of a student union absolutely kneecapped next socially. We’ve kind of divided it up? Facebook and Meetu…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 01:19 PM
1

What? How am I spinning it? The trust goes both ways
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/20 11:41 AM
3

The second one I mentioned is emotional manipulation. And, my boyfriend and I talk like that. It’s what’s led us to be together for 5 years instead of breaking up within 6 months like every other relationship I’ve been in. It doesn’t have to read like a contract, but when my boyfriend can say things like “I’m mad at you rn, and I just want to sleep” it means that I can trust him to be telling the truth when he says “I’m just not in the mood tonight, sorry”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 05:39 PM
1

I didn’t see the flair, my bad
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 05:25 PM
7

Communication with the recipient. “You acted like an ass tonight so I’m not going to sleep with you” is clear communication and the punishment is overt. The person being punished knows what they did wrong and that they’re being punished. The other one though, is different. You can say “you acted like an ass tonight and I’m mad so I don’t want to cuddle or act cutesy” but usually there’s no explanation. Not knowing what you did wrong and being made to feel like your relationship is at stake is pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 05:24 PM
4

Yeah, that’s called emotional manipulation bordering on abuse. Don’t do that to people you care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 05:15 PM
7

Withholding affection is usually more of an emotional manipulation, while withholding sex is more overtly punishment. Don’t date people that withhold affection outside of “I’m mad at you so I don’t want to be affectionate with you rn”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 05:06 PM
2

Maybe for the women you attract
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 12:29 AM
320

Look, if she’s going to be passive-aggressive like that on a date he dodged a bullet. Don’t date people that set you up to fail or make you feel unsafe
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/20 05:03 PM
3

But what if I just want to date for fun? I don’t want to get married for another 5 years or so. I’d rather be in a loving, low-stress relationship now and find out who I am
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/20 10:29 PM
4

So I have friends that have transitioned, both ways, and from what I’ve healed, testosterone tends to dull your emotions while increasing aggression. Trans women that start taking estrogen and antiandrogens often report having to deal with stronger emotions than they’re used to. So I think men are do feel emotions less strongly than women. That’s not to say that men don’t feel emotions though. There’s a double-whammy where in our culture, men are encouraged to suppress their emotions, with disas…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/20 07:17 PM
2

Not really. People in Chicago don’t care about tinder matches in LA. The only place where you might get a million actionable matches is the megalopolises in Eastern Asia. The bigger issue is that you can be more shameless online than in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/20 12:09 PM
44

There are lots of women. Like, billions of them. Mathematically, millions of them are going to be terrible. And the internet allows similar people to group up easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/20 08:55 AM
0

I’d like to see age gaps become less taboo, but the specific case you gave is full of red flags for sexual grooming. Both mothers having sex with each others’ kids? Definitely no bueno. Overall, with large proportional age gaps (like 18 vs 28) I don’t think they’re good long term. The difference in experience and maturity between someone who just became an adult and someone whose spent a third of their entire life as an adult is so great I don’t think you could have a balanced relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/20 04:06 AM
9

The complaints I’ve heard in person have either been reasonable or venting. I have never read a rational or legitimate statement on the internet in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/20 12:32 PM
1

How are women more promiscuous? Unless they’re having a lot of sex with each other, the gender ratio in sex acts is going to be 1:1.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/20 10:27 AM
14

I think it’s a good question. Anyone who thinks they should be allowed to treat their employees however they want is pretty entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/20 07:28 AM
5

I know more women who are excited for marriage than men, but then again they’re more interested in the aesthetics than the idea of marriage. I don’t know many lesbian couples, but the men that I know in relationships seemed to really like the domesticity of living with a significant other. Marriage really benefited women when they weren’t allowed to have a job or own property, because it allowed them to eat food and sleep under a roof. Now though women can be financially successful on their own,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/20 03:12 PM
2

Wait, why would a significant number of women, who are attracted to women, take testosterone supplements? I agree though, higher T levels make people more masculine. In fact, several of my friends use it to be publicly seen as masculine. It doesn’t affect bone growth after puberty, but it affects pheromones and scent, fat distribution, voice tone, muscle tone, and yeah, makes people more aggressive. I don’t know what small doses would do though, since trans men take T to put their levels at the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 09:30 PM
1

Not really. It can be frustrating definitely as some people flirt and date better than others, but dating is just a nice, close relationship. My boyfriend is someone that I can be romantic with, taking him to fancy dinners or buying cute things for. I was very clumsy at it at first, but by being close to one person at a time, I’ve been getting better at figuring out what people want and like. I haven’t done the “game” part, the flirting and playful maneuvering, though I think I’ve actually gotte…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 03:36 PM
1

The other explanation I’ve heard is that it requires very little setup in the actual porn. What’s the relationship between the two people? “Step-parent” or “step-sibling” immediately covers it, even more succinctly than “teacher” or “landlord”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 03:14 PM
3

On the one hand, the trans men I know have described their change in libido on testosterone as like “getting hit by a truck.” On the other hand, their brains were designed for a higher level of testosterone. The trans women I’ve heard talk about their change in sex drive described their previous sex drive as being held hostage by it. Women’s brains don’t operate as well under high testosterone, so they probably wouldn’t enjoy having it. On the other hand, I would bet that the optimal level of T …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 03:11 PM
3

I think it’s just a longer-span equivalent of the spike in divorces after no-fault divorce was legalized. It’s not that fewer guys want relationships, it’s that the consistent proportion of guys who don’t want relationships find it easier and easier to justify not going into one. In the era before contraceptives, sex was mostly reserved for people in committed, long-term marriages. We’re seeing the reverberations of that restriction being lifted to this day. I also think that the distance into t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 02:53 PM
3

It really doesn’t happen that often. Pretty much the only time I’ve gotten a complement on my physical appearance, aside from my boyfriend, was a random comment or two when I cut my hair, and that’s because I let it grow long and cut it short. And the only reason why I get compliments from my boyfriend regularly is because when we started dating I said I thought I looked ugly and people liked me despite my face. I think if someone honestly complimented me on my clothes or something, I’d be speec…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 04:26 PM
0

Ok boomer
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 07:53 PM
4

Sure! Though I think Hasan Minaj had the original quote
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 12:24 AM
9

The “it’s better than it used to be” argument is just as bad for sexism as it is for racism, homophobia, internet speeds, and my cooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/19 10:11 PM
3

Just as a side point, fantasy usually doesn’t mean “ideal.” In fact, a lot of fantasies would be bad if they actually happened in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/19 07:52 PM
2

Yeah, we’re vulnerable to it. But I think we should take responsibility for it and develop self-control. At the same time, it’s really shitty when other people manipulate us that way. Two things can be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/19 05:31 AM
1

Well, for a good light car. You can still get a car with bad mpg that’s light. If what you care about is mpg/fidelity, then choose based on that. A vaguely-related number isn’t your best or even necessarily a good metric.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/19 05:57 PM
3

If they’re indistinguishable in behavior, it doesn’t matter what their number is. If they aren’t indistinguishable, then base it off the behavior instead. Even in the case of a correlation between number and fidelity, it would be like comparing the weight of two cars when you care about fuel efficiency: just care about fuel efficiency directly
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/19 05:34 AM
4

Nah, because it doesn’t really matter to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/19 11:27 PM
3

Aren't those the women who would seduce German soldiers to lead them into the woods and kill them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/19 08:35 PM
5

Your relationship is always going to be asymmetrical to some degree, but that’s fine. Asymmetrical doesn’t mean unbalanced. However, I’d advise you to try to find roughly balanced relationships to be in. Commitment, specifically. Two casual people together? Perfectly fine, they both understand wanting space from each other. Two deeply committed people? Also fine, they trust each other. But if one person is way more committed than the other, they’re going to have different comfortable levels of c…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/19 06:08 AM
2

Your first question sounds pretty philosophical. What do you mean by commitment to one’s self? And kind of related to philosophy, but sexual tension is a different kind of stress. Maybe a better word is worry. People can be worried about sexual tension in their lives, but that worry still makes them less likely to want to have sex. However, worry doesn’t necessarily make people not want sex. We’re pretty complicated beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/19 06:05 PM
3

Well yeah, there are reasons why two people won’t sleep with each other, for reasons ranging from them not being emotionally ready for the intimacy, to standards in the situations they have sex in, to simply not wanting to. Stress is also a factor. I think that sex is intimate, but no that intimacy doesn’t itself imply commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/19 12:40 PM
7

Well, because we find each other attractive. So you could say that sex has a purpose, it allows for reproduction and interpersonal bonding and stress release, but that’s also like saying that I play video games because they provide for a stimulating experience. I play video games because they’re fun. My bf and I have sex because we find each other attractive. Not everyone finds other people attractive, though, so it’s fine if that’s not something you immediately understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/19 11:52 AM
3

It’s not about affection, it’s about the flavor of affection, and varies a lot from person to person. Being desperately affectionate says “I don’t think I deserve you” and people will pick up on that, not just in romantic relationships. However, you can still be very affectionate while showing people that you value yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 04:25 PM
0

To the men it matters to, they think it’s an indication of flight chance. They want someone who’s going to stay with them, to make them feel special, and the longer the list of people who has dated them is, the less special and secure they feel. I like the positives of both high and low N-counts: it’s easy to feel special when the person choosing you is clearly selective, but also people with a lot of experience can be very good and have fun stories. I’m not insecure about having my ability comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 03:53 PM
8

Depends on definition. I think RPrs are just louder and more shameless, but I haven’t seen anyone be convinced one way or the other Tbh I only really comment here when I’m procrastinating, and that’s when my life isn’t in the best place. As my life gets better I comment here less, and I wonder how common that is
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 02:04 PM
3

My friend group talked about the idea that sex should be fun. Yes, it feels good, but so does booze and masturbation. When you make sex about the other person though, it becomes so much better. And I don’t mean just doing things for the other person. I mean making it an interpersonal experience. So, sex is fun. It feels good, and sometimes you get a funny inside joke out of it. And when it’s somewhat regular, not every encounter needs to go all the way. I had a friend I was fairly causal with ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 01:54 PM
2

Oh yeah. Compared to the past decades, things have greatly improved. We actually recognize that fathers affect their kid’s development
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/19 12:57 AM
2

It’s not an incorrect idea, but it’s a bad social norm. Luckily we’re moving away from that, but the idea that men have value beyond their ability to work should be eroded away faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:41 PM
2

That sounds like a cultural change. Why do those men feel like they can’t take proper paternity leave?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:38 PM
6

Fully agree. And likewise I think that men should have significant paternity leave to bond with their kids and help their wives recover.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:24 PM
1

Not really, it means they both made bad decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:22 PM
3

You’re just supposed to do your due diligence. If someone’s sloppy drunk, they’re not in a state of mind to consent to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 09:58 PM
5

Because we’re an active party in the encounter. Would you want to have sex knowing that if she could make a proper judgement she wouldn’t be hooking up with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 09:53 PM
6

If someone didn’t view it as a big deal, they wouldn’t need to get drunk to agree to it. If you’re so precautious, I’m guessing you don’t get drunk unless you’re alone, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 09:49 PM
6

Is hooking up with a person no bigger a deal than passively selling bad food near them?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 09:43 PM
13

Well, how would you feel about a different major decision? Like, at what point would a salesman selling her a car seem predatory?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 09:30 PM
1

Given that we’re both bi/pan and open, it’s historically been the opposite of a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 07:45 PM
15

This may be it. The dumbest post on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 03:35 PM
5

It’s funny, I hear this complaint from other side as well. How about we call the whole thing off and just let people fuck as much or as little as they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 02:20 PM
2

1) consent isn’t valid if it’s given under misleading circumstances, or if the victim was manipulated into giving consent. If the lady punctures a condom to try to trap a guy with a kid? That’s rape. I’ve known one or two women that would try to get you horny and drunk in even enough measures that you don’t notice what’s going on. If he wouldn’t consent when he was sober, and she got him drunk/high for that reason? Rape. 2) Being transgender is a real condition recognized by the professional psy…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 01:14 PM
4

I was raped by my first serious girlfriend. I was anxious about my first time, and she didn’t want to wait for me to feel comfortable, so she got me as drunk as possible one night. I passed out, but the next morning I was semi-conscious and we did stuff and while I wasn’t able to pay attention she slipped me inside her. I didn’t know it was happening for a while, but i eventually figured it out. I tried to forgive her and understand, but our relationship was through. I subconsciously couldn’t tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 01:05 PM
1

I think we’re on the same page, then. The psychology is what’s most important. If someone breaks their arm but isn’t psychologically scarred, it’s not necessarily as bad as someone who’s been bruised or cut in a way that leave deep psychological scarring.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:44 AM
3

It’s not fake sympathy. I, and my friends, truly sympathize with people who are raped. Most people take rape seriously, we don’t just go through the motions for brownie points. Rape is not about the physical contact with genitals, otherwise women wouldn’t be interested in sex. Rape is about losing your bodily autonomy and sanctity to someone else, often someone you trusted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:35 AM
1

I mean, what you describe just puts it on as serious as fears of being mugged or robbed. The fear is only “psychological”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:27 AM
1

Thanks. I’m glad I took the leap of faith and tried it out. Do you think that women specifically don’t deserve empathy, or do you view all humans with the same emotional separation?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:22 AM
2

I’ve been dating a guy for the last 4 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:10 AM
5

I am a man. Being raped sucked. Fuck you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 08:01 AM
1

Rape is a horrible experience. As someone who experienced a very minor version of it, I wouldn’t wish an actual violent rape or in general being penetrated despite residing consent on anyone, even my worst enemy. From my friends who have experienced it, you lose a part of your sense of autonomy and self-ownership. And yes, I have more than one friend who’s been a victim to it. Rape is a realistic thing for women (and afabs in general) to fear to happen to them and a terrible experience if it doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/19 07:45 AM
2

It always sucks to be accurately described by a term that assholes have co-opted, speaking as an actual nice guy. Whenever I read about the origin of the incel I really get frustrated at what got ruined. It was originally coined by a woman, no less, to try to find solidarity between people having trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/19 08:54 AM
2

It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/19 08:38 AM
2

Or we can just talk to each other like human beings
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 08:16 PM
5

All according to the same institution that called him and sent him letters telling him to kill himself
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 08:10 PM
6

Because I love my partner? Also, I communicate with him so that if I am feeling like my needs are unmet, we can solve the problem I’m an adult. The only situation where I couldn’t not fuck something is being literally raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 08:00 PM
1

People who take politics seriously will want someone who takes their job seriously. It’s only the people who don’t have a lot to lose that vote for theatrics.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 07:47 PM
1

Some things are best unexciting. For example: A banking experience should not be “exciting” A school bus driver should not be “unpredictable” An airline pilot should not like “taking risks” The person running the most powerful country in the world should not try to have fun with it or prioritize being entertaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 07:22 PM
1

Where did you read that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 07:17 PM
2

Apparently hot take: even if it were a purely cosmetic surgery, people can do what they want with their own bodies as approved by legitimate doctors
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/19 07:02 PM
2

I write code for satellite management software. It’s nice because it’s niche enough that we have roughly similar interests. In my experience engineering isn’t without its share of sexists and drama-magnets, but because so many of us kind of had to manually socialize ourselves, it’s easy to find groups that manually prune out assholes and actively intercept drama-causing situations. I mean, we took classes in intra-team communication and risk management, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/19 11:17 PM
1

Because married couples die in proportion to the marriage rate of like 50 years ago, but they form at the marriage rate of right now. As long as the marriage rate today is less than the marriage rate of 50 years ago, married couples are going to be dying faster than they’re being formed, and the total number will go down.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/19 02:11 AM
1

That’s the percent of adults who are currently married overall, not the rate that people are getting married at each year.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 11:40 PM
1

You have a source other than the CDC? Because the CDC says the most recent rate is higher than the 2009 rate
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 11:31 PM
1

Down over the last 50 years, steady over the last 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 11:13 PM
1

No, that link just makes sense. Given that 40 years ago women needed their husband’s permission to get a credit card, and that it was illegal to sell contraceptives to unmarried couples until 1972, it makes sense that the marriage rate is lower than average for the last half-century.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 10:59 PM
1

The increase is clearly there. From 2009-2013, exactly 6.8. After, 6.9, 6.9, 7.1, and 6.9. All those numbers are higher than 6.8.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 09:54 PM
1

First of all, 10 years ago is still 2009, we just don’t have data for he last two years. Secondly, if anything the trend line since 2009 is slightly increasing, since 2014-2017 are all above 6.8. Makes sense, since the economy’s recovering from 2008.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 09:28 PM
1

What? Dude, analyze the data better. One, it’s not 2017. 10 years ago was 2009, when the marriage rate was 6.8, same as it was in 2017. And in 2016 it was 7.1, same as 2008. Marriage rates are lower than they were in 2000, but have been stable for the last decade.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 09:21 PM
1

Yeah. She’d be emotionally devastated and probably want me in jail, but she’d still love me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 08:03 PM
0

No, not really. It’s things about a person that do not change, so it’s not conditional. I’m not going to stop being my parents’ kid, so saying that their love for me is conditional because they love me for being their kid is meaningless. By that definition, all releases from jail are conditional, because they’re based on the condition that you don’t commit another crime, and all contracts are conditional on at least one party wanting to continue it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 07:51 PM
0

Not really. They’re a person that deserves to be loved without conditions. It’s not like they’re in a good place in life or something, it’s their fundamental characteristics that make them worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 03:48 PM
2

No, I don’t think so. It’s not based on a person’s actions, it’s based on their emotions. I’ve seen a relationship where basically one partner really messed up and while the other person got them out of trouble, the relationship was over. In that case their love was conditional, but they still weren’t going to abandon them in a shitty situation. I personally know which people I love unconditionally, either because they’re family or because I’ve worked to make sure they’re worthy of unconditional…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 03:32 PM
1

Conditional love is love with conditions. You know, I only love you if you’re successful, if you aren’t gay, if you buy me things regularly, etc. Unconditional love is just love without those conditions. I once nearly wasted my higher education on my parents dime and while they were furious with me, they still loved me. Even if I wasn’t able to cut it an ended up working service jobs for the rest of my life, my parents would still love me, even if they would be sad because I didn’t live the life…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 03:15 PM
1

According to whom? According to the CDC, they’ve been 6.8 per 1000 since 2009, except for the past three years where it’s been 6.9 or 7.0. Edit: source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 11:03 AM
5

Marriage rates aren’t dropping though. They’ve been pretty much exactly stable for the last 10 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/19 05:39 PM
2

Yeah. And he’s recently started getting a lot more fit, so he could compare it to being in shape as a guy as well. Edit: nah, at least not yet
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 04:06 AM
1

I know a trans guy who’s been treated as both genders, if you want me to ask him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 04:02 AM
7

Have you considered seeing a therapist? They can help with trust issues. Cheating is not the base state of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/19 01:16 PM
13

What? No she doesn’t. I’ve seen men treat their girlfriends like shit more than twice as often and I’ve seen the reverse. Though to be fair, both situations were rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/19 01:13 PM
1

Because they’re angry, and/or frustrated. It takes less effort to hold an us-vs-them mindset, and makes failure easier to justify. It’s not reflective of reality, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/19 12:54 PM
1

That’s a bold stance to take. What don’t you think I understand about friendship?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:31 PM
2

Yeah, exactly. Social skills are skills, you build them over time with practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:29 PM
0

Have you considered that maybe you don’t? I know that my method of getting partners directly involves having a lot of people who aren’t interested in anything more than being friends. But like, their friendship is still good. It sorta sucks to get over a crush, but it’s not impossible and it’s still a friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:08 PM
2

Speaking as someone who used to have virtually no social skills or emotional intelligence, the best way to build them is to have a friend group of both men and women and practice active listening and empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:00 PM
-1

I mean, sort of. I know how you feel, but it’s definitely better than that person not being your friend at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 03:58 PM
1

Really? The subtext is pretty obvious, especially when you consider who was writing it
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 02:03 PM
-1

Oh no, more friends, what a nightmare...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 12:07 PM
2

I mean, it’s worked pretty well for me, and my partner describes me as “not traditionally attractive.” We were actually just talking about this. When platonic friendship is your primary goal, you’ll meet enough people that you’ll eventually find someone you have chemistry with. So, actively make friends, but let romance and sex come to you. Not to mention the exercise in socializing and empathy help make you more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 10:07 AM
-1

Or you know, they could make friends that are women, and eventually date one of them when she shows interest
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 09:53 AM
1

I’m thinking I can look for location-related flair, like yours, and see if the posts have geotags on them. The problem I see is that if there’s covariance between unwillingness to share location at a specific location and pill color, the sample will be skewed. Do you know any other ways to pick up someone’s location? It doesn’t need to be specific, just to within a time zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 01:56 PM
2

Hmmm. You’re tempting me to write a code that runs actual stats on this stuff. Though I don’t know how to account for time zones.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 01:43 PM
1

That would be a pretty cool stat to calculate. Seconding the other comment, did you take a sample or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 01:16 PM
2

Yayyyy, let’s keep oversimplifying gender relations and ascribing the affect of a complicated informal system to a massive demographic group as if it were monolithic...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 09:51 AM
4

Sure. Emotional abuse is the systemic process that one person uses to inflict psychological trauma on another. All manipulation without consent is bad. To varying degrees to be sure, but it is wrong to manipulate someone into being a better person without their consent. On the other hand, I don’t know if I can convince you. I’d find it hard to convince a Victorian-era man who thinks it’s okay to beat your wife that physical abuse exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 05:04 AM
3

You’re close, but have it backwards, manipulation is emotional abuse, and it is abuse of another person’s emotions, in the same class as physical abuse. Being aware of what emotional abuse is has made me and my friends more capable of identifying and dealing with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 04:50 AM
3

Depends on how much you trust your friend. I don’t really hang out with people I can’t trust, so if I hear a friend make an accusation like that I know it’s serious. I mean, I’m not in middle school or high school anymore. If someone acts like they still are, and would intentionally spread false rumors, I’m going to drop them from my life. So there are people that I assume are guilty purely from word of mouth, but even then if I actually needed to interact with them I wouldn’t treat them like if…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 04:47 AM
5

I’d want to find out more, but the instances of abuse that I’ve seen haven’t existed in a vacuum. Some people are not cut out for relationships under certain conditions. I never assume that the victim is lying, but I generally try to find out what the accused’s version of events were. My two priorities are harm reduction and conflict resolution. However, I haven’t seen a situation where the accuser was outright lying, or the accused was entirely innocent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 04:28 AM
3

Socialize! Humans are social beings, and men are humans. Having supportive, close friends are key to our mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 02:02 AM
1

N: 5-7 The best relationship I’ve had was with a sex-repulsed asexual person. I feel like sex is fun, but it has to be icing on the cake. If you’re together primarily because of the sex, I feel like your relationship isn’t going to have much body to it. He and I eventually ended up doing the do, but it was after falling deeply in love enough that he wanted to find out what the fuss was about. We were careful and mindful of each other, and honestly that first time with him was probably my favorit…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/19 08:30 AM
1

Yeah, and taking care of your car is something that happens before going to a mechanic, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore that weird sound your engine makes because “it seems fine and I don’t need help”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 06:06 AM
3

I really disagree. Humans aren’t wildcats, we’re a deeply social species and have been for tens of millions of years. Maybe some individual humans don’t need relationships (I’ve heard autism explained as a recent adaptation that lets people live on their own on like a small remote farm with limited, regular social interaction), but by default every human needs an emotional network. Speaking for myself, my mental and physical health improve massively whenever I’m in a good social environment. I m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 06:03 AM
8

Sounds like society’s problem, not his. You know, the Vikings didn’t have that same concept of cuckoldry? Even the raising-a-kid-that-you-didn’t-conceive part. To them, raising a child was better then conceiving one. https://satwcomic.com/baby-daddy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 05:54 AM
2

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. John Donne, c. 1600
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 05:49 AM
3

Do you want the full relationship theory here, or just the tl;dr? Because the short version is that lies and disagreements are weaknesses in the material of a relationship, like dislocations or cracks in a crystal structure. The more open you are and the more authentic you are, the fewer there are, and the more your relationship is resistant to stress and pressure. Also, on the long term, all lies decay to the truth. You can’t reasonably expect to hide your past from someone you live with for ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 05:27 AM
9

I don’t think it’s that a person’s entitled so much as that level of transparency and personal openness is what’s required to have a stable and happy long-term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/19 03:20 AM
3

No, it doesn’t kill the fetus, it may just affect their brain development.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/19 04:40 PM
5

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5777082/ Mothers with male children put a lot of stress on their immune systems, just like mothers with children of incompatible blood types. Male brain development involves brain proteins that females don’t get, and repeated exposure to these proteins can cause mothers to develop antibodies that back flow into their fetuses. The study didn’t find a causal link between the lack of this protein and being gay, but it found a strong correlation between m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/19 04:37 PM
14

Nah, it’ll just reach the new stable point. In the 90s women’s marathon records were dropping way faster than men’s, and people predicted that they might get these crazy short run times by the 2020s. Turns out. Linear extrapolation isn’t accurate in the long term. Then again, if wages continue to drop wrt the inflating dollar, work days will rise, who’ll have time to date?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/19 04:26 AM
1

There’s no real way to know why he ghosted her without hearing it from him. Charitably, maybe he was scarred and scared by commitment? Uncharitably, he might have found her annoying for some small reason and decided to cut her off in the laziest, rudest way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/19 02:27 AM
5

That’s the only way I date. My partner and I promised each other to be open and truthful, and to bring up any issues as soon as possible. We’re not perfect, but we can trust when the other one says “I’m fine” or “you’re not annoying me.” I mean, it takes emotional intelligence and determination to work through honest disagreements, but it works, and I’ve been really happy. I mean, why would you lie to your partner? To grease the wheels? To live in a fantasy world where things are better than the…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/19 12:43 AM
2

Friends definitely, but I’d advise dating within the workplace. If you break up you’ll still need to work together 40 hours a week, no matter how bad the breakup is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/19 02:04 AM
1

Those companies are rich enough that they can buy a small government somewhere to give them tax-free status and then move there. Pandering to companies that don’t want to play ball is never going to turn out in our favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/19 02:34 AM
1

I mean, we already pay into social security AND a retirement fund. We can just pay into a central fund that guarantees security to our retired populace, and put any extra we want into a private fund. If someone wants to go to a country that doesn’t have a safety net, I’m sure they can ask Somalia for citizenship. That’s a pretty bold generalization of a large group, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/19 01:55 AM
4

Then maybe we should upgrade it for the modern day? And make it enough for people to live on. That way you don’t need to choose a job based on salary.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/19 01:44 AM
6

Maybe we should adjust society so that people can do what makes them happy even if it doesn’t pay well? Some sort of Security, on a Social scale?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/19 01:13 AM
5

Speaking from experience, just because a person is a good lay doesn’t make them a good romantic partner. There might be emotional problems or responsibility problems that come into effect when people are together longer than a handful of hours.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/19 10:47 AM
20

I once lived near a bank that advertised its services as “exciting.” Didn’t really make me want to open an account.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/19 10:45 AM
2

It doesn’t seem like anyone here cares as much as you do, dude
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:57 PM
2

The article went on to show a comic that was basically just a flanderized version of the original concept, and it sounds like the flanderization is what spread. You do know that it has nothing to do with soy, and that the “science” behind it is so bad that it doesn’t even need to be debunked, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:54 PM
1

I mean, your friend’s wife may just be realizing she’s bi, but also she might want to talk to her wife about if her wife is feeling unfulfilled in their relationship. When a partner cheats on you it can really suck, so I hope it’s just a misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:51 PM
4

So, the majority of people who post on the internet?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:47 PM
3

I mean, in the article you linked, the second photo had none of that. So it really was just flanderized? And what do you mean by female poses? Also, didn’t skinny jeans for dudes die out in like 2007, or was that just middle school?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:47 PM
3

Real men don’t open their mouths?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:43 PM
3

I mean he is, I just legitimately haven’t seen the term “soyboy” since his videos, outside of references to said videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:42 PM
3

So...slightly overweight, full beard, glasses, and a friendly smile? And it seems like it started off as being somewhat tied to reality, but got flanderized within like 3 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:41 PM
2

Looking like H. Bomberguy?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/19 09:30 PM
2

I don’t think it’s tan skin, just clear/healthy skin. Fake tans are evenly applied, so they make your skin seem clearer. Though, from what I’ve seen, even more important is your opinion of your skin. I’ve seen guys and girls with pock-marked faces that are perfectly attractive, because they don’t act like their skin disqualifies them from being good to look at.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/19 11:51 PM
2

Yeah, definitely. I mean, he doesn’t really like the idea of engaging with debate subs in general, because he’s of the “don’t even act like TERF/RPrs/homophobes/etc have valid opinions” camp, but I know he’d approve of what I say here at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 04:26 PM
11

1) Yes. 2) Yes. 3) I know him. He’s me. It was more shitty college relationship than horror-movie rape scene, but in my first college relationship I was being intimidated by the concept of PIV sex, so my then-girlfriend tried to get me drunk at a party. Luckily it was a party of friends so they watered down the drinks she was trying to force on me, but then she got me when I was half-awake the next morning. It wasn’t violent or especially traumatic, but it basically ruined our relationship. She …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 11:04 AM
1

Seductive freshness of adolescence?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 06:18 PM
3

I mean, sure, anything can be interpreted as an insult, but there’s definitely a sliding scale of probability here, one that you can get a pretty good feel for by empathizing with people and listening to what people different than you say about their experiences. Mean old men are mean because they didn’t face any consequences for their actions. In a world where men aren’t untouchable, we have to actually empathize like human beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 02:41 AM
4

Not really. I know it sounds like overthinking when written out, but it’s more emotional processing than rational. And besides, I’m perfectly happy with my sex life and relationship status.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 02:10 AM
5

Well, all compliments have a purpose behind them, right? The intent is (nominally) to make the receiver of the compliments feel good. However, people do use compliments as other things all the time. Context is also important. I do compliment women every once in a while, when they’re wearing cool clothes or something. However, I make it clear that there isn’t anything deeper to that. For example, “Hey, those nails look pretty cool,” or “thanks for helping me with this, I really appreciate it.” An…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 08:03 PM
6

Nah, they’re right. There are different connotations for different compliments. For example, if I compliment your clothes that means I like your sense of style. Complimenting your ass, on the other hand, is a lot more objectifying. Generally I’ve been told that the best compliments are on things people have control over, like style, nails, hair, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 07:46 PM
1

Of course, you don’t really get that kind of simple harmonies anymore. They’re classics
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 04:34 PM
2

Oh cool, you have some studies on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 05:39 AM
3

And then the driver still got into the car, drunk?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 05:38 AM
2

I get the Ted Cruz bit, but if you punch him for being punchable you’re still the one that assaulted him, and you’re still in the wrong. It’s one of those moral lessons you learn either in elementary school or as soon as you become a sibling. Also, if a pedestrian is crossing a highway and gets hit by a drunk driver, you think it’s more the pedestrian’s fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 05:37 AM
3

One of my favorite songs to sing with my boyfriend is the Beatles’ “When I’m 64.” Sex is a small part of a truly great relationship. When I get older, losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a Valentine Birthday greetings bottle of wine If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four ... You'll be older too
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 05:32 AM
5

Like when someone gets hit by a drunk driver, and in some way the pedestrian deserves some blame too, for not watching out for drunk drivers?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 02:28 AM
17

Not really. There’s a ton of reasons why a person could choose to stay in an abusive situation. Finances, for example. Where I live, a single bedroom apartment costs ~$1500/month. That comes to a minimum $4500/month in income, assuming no debt. Working 6 10-hour days a week, four weeks a month, means this person would have to find an entry-level job willing to pay $18.75 and hour. How feasible do you think that is, without your abusive significant other finding out? Another answer is emotional m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 02:26 AM
9

We all depressed
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/19 04:12 PM
1

Exactly. Looks change over time, but if you find the "One," you won't need as much variety
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/19 03:23 PM
1

The way I was raised, looks and other surface-level things like sex are good for short-term flings, but the stability of long-term relationships is based on deeper things like personality, humor, and values. Looks will fade over time, but personal bonds can always grow stronger.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/19 12:47 PM
1

Suicide is never a good option outside of things that stretch the definition of suicide, like refusing cancer treatment when it won't significantly improve your quality of life. There's no such thing as a guy who "can't" get over themselves, just guys who don't. Maybe they need outside help, maybe they don't, but they aren't truly hopeless. Suicide ends your story at your lowest point, but there is so much more that can happen. I think many incels need to get treated for depression, from what I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/19 07:45 PM
1

Because sex is like icing on the cake of a relationship, dude. Maybe it's a maturity thing, but right now I'm dating someone I can drive 12 hours with without getting tired, because we just keep talking or enjoy our company on silence. The sex? Meh, it comes and goes. The domestic shit? 10/10. If we didn't have different long-term plans, I'd probably propose. When I was younger, like 4 years ago in college, sex mattered a lot more to me. Meeting someone that fits the other stuff made me realize …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/19 09:15 PM
1

At least whee I grew up, yeah. Men shake hands with men, but hug women. The handshakes have gotten closer to hugs as I've grown up though, though that make just be because my parents have gotten to know our neighbors better.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 04:37 PM
0

What you said is the distinction between the average quality of life of a certain sex, and the median quality of life. In the most extreme example of hypergamy, let's take 100 men and 100 women, and partner them up. On average, there has to be 1 partner for each man. However, if all 100 women choose to partner with the same man, the median number of partners for each man is 0. If you want to argue hypergamy in the face of, "but there are as many straight women as straight men, so on average they…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 02:40 PM
0

I disagree. For example, making contraceptives more widely accessible and having sex-positive sex ed makes sex safer for both sexes. How does that help one but hurt the other? Also, by "better" do you mean for the sex overall on average, or for the median member of each sex? For example, it's mathematically possible for the median straight man to be having less sex than the median straight woman, even though on average they have to be having the same amount of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 02:17 PM
1

Why not? Basic ethics and respect for human beings, same reason why it's not ethical to force SRS on infants and see if they grow up trans.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 08:30 PM
2

But what about people who don't have sex but still have intimate relationships? Because I'd bet that the latter is causal, with the former just correlated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 09:04 PM
4

Arguably, people can get depressed without social interactions. People who get depressed without sex can make do by adjusting their valuations and expectations around sex. As someone who lives 8 hours from his boyfriend, I can tell you that losing sex is not the painful part of moving away.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 06:54 PM
6

No one is going to die for want of sex. Social bonding may be a need, but not sex specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 06:39 PM
3

At least in the poly community, that's what "monogamy" means, as in you're only interested in the person you're dating. I think that if you're going to be committed to each other it's important to either have no attraction to other people, or recognize and agree on a way to deal with that attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 06:32 PM
2

Actually, they have alphaness thrust upon them
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 03:46 PM
1

Woah, tell me what like you think says I support abolishing marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:49 PM
2

Hence the I'm also in support of "male abortion," or whatever the term is. I think a guy should be able to give up his connection to a child, but I think he should do so actively and with similar restrictions mothers face.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:45 PM
3

I agree, but the solution is to introduce a process for a father to give up his connection to the baby, not to swing the default in the other direction. Besides, isn't child support determined by the courts? Reform is a better option than abolition.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:41 PM
1

That's a complicated question I don't see discussed enough to have strong feelings about. I think ideally yes, but ultimately no. The asymmetry of pregnancy is such that you run into bodily autonomy issues when it comes to forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy to term, so a woman should only do so if she consents. If she okays it with the father and gives up the child, I feel like they're having enough of a dialogue that the courts should handle child support on a case-by-case basis. If she doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:34 PM
1

I see how you could think my position is hypocritical, to be clear. However, I'm also in support of "male abortion," or whatever the term is. I think a guy should be able to give up his connection to a child, but I think he should do so actively and with similar restrictions mothers face.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:12 PM
6

You can't just take the law, you have to look at how it's being implemented. Abortion being legal doesn't mean jack if it's not accessible. It's like ignoring food deserts as a problem for public health, or pesticide over application because the EPA forbids it. By your logic forced bussing was unnecessary as soon as they made segregation illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 04:07 PM
4

This was all in response to people saying that getting rid of child support would encourage women to consider their financials before having unsafe sex. Why is that standard not applied to men with child support and the choice to have unsafe sex, is my main point. Really child support should be decided through a court with the ability to see the whole situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:59 PM
10

Definitely not. There is all of one abortion clinic in the entire state of Missouri, and abortions are only covered by insurance if it threatens the life of the mother. In addition, you need to be able to stay around that clinic for 72 hours while reading shaming literature if you want to get that abortion. I do not call that easy access. And 90% of US counties have no abortion clinics at all. That is not easy access. Not to mention all the other things that could make it hard to get an abortion…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:56 PM
1

Oh really? Like what ways? And that just means that she'll be stuck in poverty for the rest of her life. Medical debt drags you down and doesn't let go.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:52 PM
1

Marriage used to include women who were trapped with abusive men because the alternative was living on the streets with a starving child. Child support without marriage is a great improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:51 PM
3

But they can still charge her out the ass for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:41 PM
6

Lol, how do they make that decision? 90% of US counties don't have a place to get an abortion, and abortions can cost up to $1k if not covered by insurance. Besides, a man is just as capable of not impregnating a woman. He has his own steps he can take, so he has a share of the responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:40 PM
1

That specific situation doesn't justify letting all deadbeat dads off the hook, it's just a reason for there to be discretion in how child support is given. If a guy doesn't want to have a kid, it isn't hard to use his own condom, or even make sure she uses one as well. Also, does child support really support someone entirely? It's just supposed to hold the father to his half of the responsibility. The mother is still on the hook for carrying the baby to term, giving birth to them, and raising t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:38 PM
3

I didn't. Birth alone can cost more than these people's annual income; unless we have a single-payer health system, they aren't going to be able to give up that responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:35 PM
0

Yeah, the point of society is to make life easier. Otherwise, why stay a part of it? Technology has freed us from the law of the jungle and the requirement to fight for our lives, so the fact that we're only assured death without technology or society is moot. I agree, there should be a justification for supporting people. However, given that we have the resources to, "they are human beings" should be enough of a justification to give them food, water, shelter, and freedom.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:33 PM
4

90% of US counties have no place to get an abortion, and Healthcare in the US is prohibitively expensive. Missouri has exactly 1 abortion clinic, and insurance needs only cover abortion if the mother's child is in danger. It also requires you to wait 72 hours to get one. Abortion is not easy to access, and it's getting harder and harder to. Not to mention that, without insurance, an abortion can cost $1k, while just a vagina birth, without complications, can run between $9k and $17k. For referen…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:15 PM
1

The OP was about child support as well as social welfare, so it seems like both are on the table for debate. When it comes to social welfare, do people have an inherent right to life, or do they need to financially justify their existence to society?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:02 PM
3

Interesting take. So we should expand access to abortion, and in states where women don't have enough, men should be held responsible? Do men have absolutely no responsibility to avoid impregnating people?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 03:00 PM
1

Why are you getting pregnant if you don't want to? Why are you having children if you can't afford them? Sound like equally strong arguments for increasing child support costs. Why did the father get her pregnant? Why wasn't he more careful to use contraceptives?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 02:50 PM
3

Doesn't child support count as a negative consequence for the other half of the family? I mean, the mother has to give birth to a kid and raise them, while the father can just skip town. Shouldn’t there be a financial tie to encourage men to be more responsible for who they fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/19 02:46 PM
0

More that the Matrix is at minimum two closeted trans women projecting their experiences into a cyberpunk aesthetic. Like, Morpheus's quote, What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. means a lot more when you add in that it was written by two trans women that hadn't even come out yet. And the choice between a red pill and …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/19 05:39 PM
1

Though actually, how do you define objective attractiveness? Why is personality less objective than looks?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/19 02:46 PM
2

I legitimately don't know how you would measure attractiveness across gender lines, but in my experience men tend to be less hygienic than men, which I'm willing to say is a widespread turn-off. Why men seem less hygienic than women is a complicated question, because it involves biological differences and web of social expectations. Beyond that, I really just avoid discussions about objectively rating people's attractiveness. Edit: I misread the question, oops
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/19 02:43 PM
1

Oh yeah, definitely. Everyone is going to mesh differently with everyone else, and that means some people are going to mesh better than others, in a somewhat-predictable pattern. Like, I tend to like shorter, franker people because I like being able to trust that my partner will speak up and be direct, but I'm also easily intimidated. Likewise, my boyfriend likes his guys taller and cuddly because he enjoys feeling safe. Those aren't our only types, but they're part of the reasons why we're so s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/19 03:09 PM
9

Sex is wayyyy more intimate than friendship, and it changes the dynamic. There's a neurochemical reason why "friends with benefits" is unstable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/19 02:06 PM
1

Man, why would you do that? I haven't been in the professional world for long, but I've seen what happens when you date someone you live with. Young relationships are volatile. It's usually fine, and not necessarily bad, but when you both work together, and have to keep working together regardless of your personal relationship, that volatility makes for a huge risk. I had been dating my partner for a year when they decided to rush my fraternity. Even after a year of stability, I was asked to giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/19 02:01 PM
1

Yep. In my experience, the better friends you are before dating, the more stable your relationship. Attraction ebbs and flows, but personalities are far more regular. Don't date in your office though. The cost of a potential breakup far outweighs the benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/19 01:06 PM
1

Well, I wouldn't call volcanoes biology, but they definitely impact culture
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/19 01:34 PM
1

But she was explicitly drawn with body fat and folds in her body
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/19 01:33 PM
1

To each according to their need. People least able to survive without a boat should get them first. On the other hand, women tend to have more body fat and less muscle mass, making them float better. So it's pretty complicated. As always, Marx is less useful than he at first seems
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/19 06:15 PM
1

I mean there's that one scene in Gangnam Style where Psy screams at a woman's flat butt
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/19 04:09 PM
3

Fat bottom girls, they make the rockin world go round
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/19 02:06 AM
1

No man, you have it backward. Society didn't invent the phrase, the poet John Donne did. And the actual phrase is, "No man is an island." from a poem of the same name: No man is an island, Entire of himself, Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manor of thy friend's Or of thine own were: Any man's death diminishes me, Because I am involved in mankind, And therefore neve…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/19 01:40 AM
2

Fair point on the milk thing. The butt thing is kind of possible, but I think it's also pertinent that humans don't go into heat, which iirc even chimps do
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 11:19 PM
2

Rule 2 says that they don't allow feminists, so probably not what I'm talking about. And "Every man is an island" is the exact polar opposite of what men need.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 10:53 PM
0

I agree, and I think that feminism specifically is limited in how it can help cis men specifically. On the one hand, feminism is about uplifting women's voices. On the other, it does so because women should be the ones to address how they are mistreated by society. Men should have a movement where we break out of our constricted social norms, but it'll have to be a companion movement to feminism, not a movement within it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 10:19 PM
1

It'll be a long, slow process, if it happens. Whales lost their legs over the course of 10s of millions of years, but they also had pressures selecting against legs. But it won't be a disabled human race, any more than we're disabled because we don't have tails.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 09:42 PM
1

I'll admit it's a bit more of a stretch than the others, because some conditions can be expensive enough to still have significant pressures. I was thinking of debilitating allergies and autoimmune disorders, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone could survive a defect that left them without an immune system. It would just be expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 08:43 PM
3

So, what makes us create ideas and values held by a group of people and vary them over time?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 08:35 PM
2

Wisdom teeth, wide hips, breasts large enough to hold milk but small enough to move comfortably with, not having hallucinations, hell even legs and functional immune systems. Which is honestly great in the long run because none of those things matter to our survivability anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 08:26 PM
4

Sociology and anthropology are the study of culture, which is driven by the environment, the culture that came before them, outside cultures, significant individuals dragging small cultural variations into widespread fame with them, technological advancements, and quirks in language. It's all a big, chaotic mess. For example, circumcision. It started off as possibly an aesthetic or hygienic modification in a desert tribe, and through interactions with the rest of Judaism, the Roman Empire, Chris…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 08:24 PM
3

Likewise, biology isn't a good tool to describe cultural aesthetic values. Using biology to model culture is like using physics to model biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 08:03 PM
1

They'll decay asymptotically, like other adaptations that don't really have a use anymore. Like how wisdom teeth, or the spear-throwing muscle aren't really being selected for or against anymore, so they aren't necessarily going away, but aren't becoming more prevalent either.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 07:58 PM
7

Sure, it probably was. But modern sculptures of women usually don't show as much, because today calories are plentiful enough that keeping your figure is a sign of wealth. Which is why our valuation of figure is cultural, not biological.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 07:51 PM
5

Yeah, and physics drives biology. It's not a useful fact, though. Americans don't value big asses because of biology, we value them because we were raised to value them. We used to value small asses and justify it with biology, too
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 07:48 PM
15

I disagree. People also like to see indications of success and status, and use culture to say what those indicators are. In some cultures, muscles aren't attractive, because they imply laborers. In others, muscles are very attractive, because they imply the free time to work out. Same with paleness/tanning. Hell, 1800s Arabia valued androgyny in both genders, and Renaissance paintings and statues show women as having a bit of chub, even in supposedly idealized Venus.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/19 07:32 PM
9

You put a lot of attention into the childcare aspect of marriage, but you're missing the other uses marriage has in society. For example, say you want to visit your partner of 20 years in the emergency room. Without marriage, you have no legal relations with them, so you don't have visitation rights. This was a big argument for the legalization of gay marriage in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 04:34 PM
4

I agree that the metaphor doesn't reflect objective reality, I was saying that the reason why society looks poorly on women that have a lot of sex but looks positively on men that do the same thing comes from how it frames sexual encounters, with men being the aggressors and women being the defenders. I agree with you that it's a frame that unfairly devalues women who have a lot of sex. I also think that we over-value men who have a lot of sex, but that's more because we over-value the ability t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 04:23 PM
2

That's not it, it's just that our valuation of things is influenced by the frame we use to organize the world. For example, why do we value people with more money higher than those with less? Because we associate having more money with being smarter and working harder. This isn't necessarily true, because people can inherit their parents' fortune or win the lottery, but we perceive rich people as higher-value anyway. There's no objective reason why a woman having a lot of sex is bad and a man ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 04:02 PM
7

First of all, the reason behind the stud/slut paradox isn't that it's harder for men, but that the current dating scene is set up as with men as the initiator and women as the defender. An army that breaks into a fortress regularly is an effective army and a fortress that is broken into often is a bad fortress, but that only matters when you think of women as defenders against men when it comes to sex. Secondly, social acumen comes from experience, so we're more in agreement there that women gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 03:39 PM
2

I thought I'd have to explain this, but I couldn't get it concise enough for a top-level comment. There's a minority of men that are "outgoing" enough to approach women they don't know well or at all, but there isn't a similarly-sized minority of women who do the reverse. These men approach a larger proportion of women than they are a proportion of men, so if you talk about men's median level of social experience compared to women's median level of social interaction, there's going to be a discr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 03:13 PM
1

If you want to get a lot of women easily, then sure you need to be more experienced than average socially. However, if you just want to convince a woman you like to go out with you, you just need to be on par with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 03:04 PM
11

I halfway disagree. I agree that the solution to many men's dating problems is to interact with women more, in general, but I don't think men need to interact with women more than vice versa. Women in general already interact with men more than men in general interact with women. It's more that men should catch up to women in terms of social experience than men need to surpass them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 02:47 PM
1

Well, what can I say except, "fuck you, that's really condescending and this sub operates best when everyone comes to the table in good faith."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 01:30 PM
1

For the same reasons why I'm friends with people I'm not attracted to: they have a good sense of humor, similar interests to mine, and are kind. Like, why do you become friends with anyone? I don't really know how else to put it. There are individual reasons for being each individual's friend, and I've hung around a woman because I wanted to have sex with her in the past. My friendship with them is definitely not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 01:02 PM
1

I think you're mixing up being attracted to your friend and being friends with someone because they're attractive. I am attracted to my friends, but that's not why I'm friends with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/19 12:32 PM
1

Given that she knows more about what happened than we do, I'm going to trust her conclusions, unless we can get input from a second or third party. Why is your default to assume her conclusions are wrong? Do you have more info?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:55 PM
2

The only time I was talking about women specifically was when I called the hypothetical person a woman. I'll try to make it more clear by saying that the person on the rebound is a guy. So when this guy dumps his girlfriend and asks you out immediately, you get the front seat in seeing how little he respects romantic relationships. If he's willing to break up over finding someone better and not any intrinsic flaw in his relationship, it's safe to assume he'll break up with you for the same or a …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:50 PM
1

Yeah, I agree. There's a difference between wanting to take your relationship with someone to the next level and discounting that someone's current emotional state.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:38 PM
2

I'm not. People of any gender after a breakup should know not to rebound, and the people of any gender around them should know not to jump on a rebound. Not to mention that if a woman breaks up with her boyfriend and immediately tries to sleep with/date you, that's probably a bad sign. The point in giving someone space after they've broken up with someone is to let them recover from the breakup and become their own person again. But, judging from how you called it "disadvantageous," I'm guessing…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:34 PM
2

It's not an assumption, it's me believing her when she said so.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:10 PM
2

If it's been a long time then they aren't really jumping on a rebound, are they? And there's a difference between the lifelong process of learning what you want and the temporary condition of being in a headspace where you'll make bad relationship decisions. There's a difference between making a move very soon after a breakup and a while after a breakup.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 05:09 PM
1

The distinction is authenticity and emotional connection. You should authentically try to be friends with someone before you try to sleep with them. Like for example picking someone up at a bar. There's a difference between authentically establishing a rapport with someone you want to hook up with and following a pickup artist's decision tree with the end goal being sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 04:46 PM
1

Okay, I see. In my experience you can still put yourself in their shoes and guess at what they want as a starting point. Like, for example, when someone rebounds in my experience, they're looking for the emotional intimacy they had their romantic relationship through sex. The sex or the rebound relationship isn't going to be good because you aren't going to find that emotional intimacy again with a random stranger or in a new relationship. I could see how someone on the rebound can seem like a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 04:39 PM
4

I'd say it's a bigger leap to assume that your only source on the situation is wrong. We can't exactly ask someone else close to the situation. Wanting to sleep with someone doesn't devalue a friendship, but being friends with someone for the sole purpose of sleeping with them explicitly values the friendship at "gets my dick wet"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 04:16 PM
2

I had the exact opposite experience. I made more, closer friends faster in college than I did in high school or after graduation. The combination of similar ages and interests made for an environment where it was easy to find people you got along with and get to know them well. But even setting that aside, it sounds like you have two different sets of friendship, and in one, the shallow one, you don't have to keep their emotions in mind and can simply do as you want? I mean, I might be wrong on …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 04:09 PM
5

Dude, I have friends I'm attracted to and want to have sex with. That's not what I'm saying. Unless we're reading different posts, the OP said Edit: there has been some confusion. These "friends" are not interested in having a relationship with me. They just want to have sex with me. That is what is repulsive. In OP's example, it's not that they were friends with her, then tried to make a move when she was vulnerable. "They just want[ed] to have sex with" her. You're the one working off the assu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:39 PM
6

It's not inhibition dude, I just enjoy the company of people for reasons other than my sexual attraction to them, men and women. Seriously, I thought that I could only be friends with women if I wanted to sleep with them into 10th grade, but then I developed as a person and got over the fact that I was sexually attracted to people. Seriously, there's so much more to a person than their body.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:31 PM
11

It's not a man's responsibility, it's a friend's responsibility. One of the points of friendship is that you look out for each other and keep each others' interests in mind. If she goes out to a bar and has bad rebound sex with a stranger that's one thing. Her mistake, you could argue that the stranger should have made sure that sex was what she actually wanted, but it's not really his responsibility if she's consenting. If she tries to hook up with a friend, it's his responsibility as her frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:22 PM
6

Because they led her to believe that they were her friends, which is bad for the same reason why pretending to be someone's friend only because they're famous or rich is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:15 PM
2

So if I get a consensus of people to agree to something, that makes it true?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:09 PM
1

In the general case, it's not. If she's in a state of mind where she's more likely to make decisions she'll regret later, using that state of mind to get something she normally wouldn't agree to do is shitty. This applies to everything from asking for sex when she's in a rebound to selling someone an expensive appliance when they're inebriated. Not necessarily illegal, but definitely shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:08 PM
4

Speak for yourself. I grew out of that mindset in 10th grade.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 03:00 PM
2

Please, educate me on how their actions indicate her objective value of a person and not their subjective valuation of her.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 02:57 PM
3

In this case, the poster has explicitly said that they were only interested in sleeping with her. In the general case wanting to sleep with someone doesn't make you a bad friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 02:53 PM
1

Maybe they've just had good male friends before
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 02:47 PM
23

The nefarious thing was that it seems like they only acted like her friend as a holding pattern to wait until she was single and they could try to sleep with her. For her, friendship with them was an ends itself; for them it was merely a means. The shitty thing is that their response to her going through a terrible breakup is not to comfort her, but to try to jump her bones. That's just really illustrative of how much they value her as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 02:46 PM
1

Well, first of all, rebounds are a bad idea in the first place. Taking advantage of someone's propensity to make bad decisions is shitty. Also, she may have given them the benefit of the doubt that they were attracted to her but also genuinely interested in being her friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 02:39 PM
5

I completely disagree. Chemistry is a deeper connection with the person's personality. Surface-level-only attraction is like logical inverse of chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/19 07:22 PM
1

Yeah, there's definitely a subset of people that I get along really well with, and my current boyfriend and I pretty much got along great instantly. Usually I can tell if we're going to be compatible as friends after a full conversation. I've only had one really solid relationship though, so I can't say if there's something similar for romantic/sexual partners
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/19 07:20 PM
3

Hopefully my boyfriend will be able to make it up here this weekend to celebrate. If he does, I'm going to cook a homemade dinner with him in appreciation of his 7-hour drive each way. God, I miss being domestic with him
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/19 09:38 PM
2

First of all, online dating apps are mostly trash, and not good for actual relationships. I'd suggest making some good platonic female friends, and ask them for advice. You might be sending up some red flags you don't know about. Also, in my experience, the best relationships develop from friendships What sort of hobbies do you have? Are you a social person?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/19 07:27 PM
1

If that's what you expect to hear, that's all you're going to see. But in reality, every person does have a mind and does have a group of people they can be influenced by; it's not that they don't have minds of their own, but that they have extremely hardened defences that stops them from considering the positions of people they see as in the outgroup. A good persuader can figure out how to get past these defenses, and how to express their ideas encoded in a way that won't trigger you to identif…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/19 02:05 PM
1

So if people changed their minds to agree with you they're being convinced, but if they change their minds to disagree with you they're being indoctrinated? Some people would point to that as an indication of a closed and uninterested mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/19 12:54 PM
1

I was hoping you'd explain, because to be honest I thought my comment implied my opinion pretty clearly
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 10:14 PM
1

Do you think I would know?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 09:59 PM
2

Easy. Hold a survey, ask the subjects how much they value romance, or how much they enjoy doing romantic things, on a scale of 0-4.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 09:38 PM
8

I'd want to see a study before I believe that romanticism has any correlation with gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 07:19 PM
2

No real man is complex at all
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 05:48 PM
1

It's interesting how manhood the immutable gender identity and manhood the socially revocable title/role are so closely tied, compared to womanhood the gender and womanhood the role. So it's much harder for society to tell a (cisgender) woman, "your gender is invalid, I'm going to refuse to see you as a woman" than is is for it to tell a (cis) man the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 05:43 PM
4

Sounds like you're not that open to being convinced
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 04:37 PM
3

Yeah, that seems like a good hypothesis. I wonder if you could correlate these results with the general opinion of casual hookups at the same time, across different campuses and years.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 04:29 PM
2

So then what are you doing on a debate sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 04:21 PM
6

Because he's probably not actually feeling as guilty as he says he is, but he's trying to make her feel bad for complaining at him by acting like the complaints hurt him more than his behavior hurt her. To be clear, it's not that what he did first that's particularly bad. It's that his response to being confronted is to pull on her empathy and come out being comforted instead of fixing his behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/19 04:17 PM
2

Listen, kid. I know you're probably a troll, but there are people who actually believe what you're saying and I'm not going to let that shit stand. That being said, I'm only saying this because I'm anonymous and if anyone knows who I am I'd appreciate it if they didn't read this comment. I was raped my freshman year of college. It wasn't violent, and I didn't press charges because I saw that she had learned her lesson and I'm not the type of person that really wants anything else. But it destroy…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/19 04:03 PM
10

I wouldn't want to date someone who was emotionally still caught up with their previous partner. It would just not be healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/19 10:38 PM
11

I had a friend who, in the older 20s, tried to date someone who was in your younger 20s. Just a 4-year gap, but they didn't work. The older girl was way too emotionally mature; while she would go to events just because she liked supporting the younger girl's interests, the younger girl wouldn't do the same because she thought it was clingy and patronizing. If you date someone that's significantly more or less mature than you, you're going to want different things from the relationship, and it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/19 10:36 PM
1

I know this is my third comment, but from a cinematography perspective it's a classic example of "cinema is montage."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/19 04:02 PM
1

It's the scent name we deserve, just not the one we need right now
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/19 03:57 PM
2

More seriously though, it was mostly just a montage of bad masculine things and good resolutions to them, with a voice-over about how we don't need to rely on bad gender roles anymore (which ties into Gilette's tag line, The Best a Man Can Get). Like, for example, you have a cut of one boy, around 9-12, tackling another and wailing on him. Fast-cut to a line of men in polis behind grills saying to each other, "boys will be boys." At the end of the commercial, cut to a man stepping around the gri…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/19 03:55 PM
2

I know it's not their product, but I just hope I can get better shampoo names than, "Bear Hands," "Punch the Avalanche," and, "I never saw my father cry and my son will never see me cry." Who knows, maybe they'll have scented shaving cream
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/19 03:34 PM
7

That's really a mindset thing. It's very easy to have a sense of self-worth that comes from your comparison to other people, but much more validating to have a sense of self-worth that comes from your comparison to your previous self. I'm always surrounded by people who are better than me at what I like: my roommate at summer camp was a prototyping genius, some of my friends are incredible artists, one of my best friends picks up men and women like it takes no effort. If I were competitive and b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/19 03:30 PM
1

Can you provide these studies so we can read them?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/19 02:02 PM
1

Before we get into that, why do you think interpersonal relationships are going to keep changing in the same way and rate over the next 20-30 years? Has that been true for the past 20-30 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/19 03:04 PM
1

An example, not a strawman. What you just posted only convinces me that you're assuming incel hypotheticals to be reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/18 04:18 PM
1

Kind of off topic, but would a federal consent law even be constitutional? States have a lot of independence in the US. For example there's no federal drinking age, the federal government just bribes the states to keep it over 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/18 02:44 PM
5

Damn, a man who does that deserves to be dumped imo
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/18 04:41 AM
6

Men who are doing that are either giving you a hard time for fun or are just being assholes. Having a favorite food doesn't mean you're okay with eating it 24/7.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/18 04:29 AM
1

I'd rather be anxious and know about these problems that are going to affect my life significantly than be an ostrich with my head in the sand. Like, my trans friends should definitely know to avoid states with bathroom bills, and we definitely need to do something about climate change. The anxiety isn't from the existence of the problem, it's from the fact that it takes so much effort to ensure that something gets done about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 03:47 PM
1

When was the last time you cold-applied to a professional job? It's utterly will-breaking. It's a largely automated system that scans your resume for keywords. One of my friends, a woman with a high GPA in Chemical Engineering, applied to 30 companies and heard by from 2, both "No's." Sure, you can apply to 5 times as many companies, but those companies are also receiving 10 times the applicants. Why do you say it's easier to get a job?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 03:32 PM
2

Ditto ditto
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 01:01 AM
6

I'm surprised you feel that comment was worth the effort you spent to type it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:58 AM
7

I did. The only people that come up in my original comment are "my friends." And I don't call my self a psychiatrist but my friends have all mentioned an underlying sense of unhappiness and worry at some point in the past two years, and I haven't seen any of my friends fully recover, just improve. Two of my friends have gone through over a dozen antidepression medications. One settled on weed for acute anxiety and depressive attacks and the other gave up looking after 30 medications.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:46 AM
5

My friends, and myself. Probably not more than two dozen people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:33 AM
8

I'm just describing my friends. I know I was only 20 in 2015, and I wasn't 20 and in college in 2005, 1995, or 1985, and that my friends aren't a random cross-section of my generation. However, I am in the age group being talked about, so I thought I'd share my experiences and thoughts. Is that alright with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:24 AM
9

I don't think you're one of my personal friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:09 AM
2

Yeah. I'm talking about people born between about 1993 and 1997, who I knew in college. It could just be that the college workload and job search is what is making us depressed, to be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:08 AM
5

I agree with that. The majority of my friends (though this might be from selection bias) are interested in seeking emotional support from platonic relationships, regardless of gender. They still date, but I saw people entering into relationships that last multiple years around sophomore year of college, with relatively few relationships on the order of months happening Junior year or later. I'm 23, got my bachelor's in 2017.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 12:06 AM
11

This depression has nothing to do with our dating life. My friends stretch from dating multiple people to nearly married to n=1. Some barely use social media and some are always online. We're all depressed and anxious. Either it's the modern version of lead cookware or we're just all informed of what's going on in the world and we feel helpless to stop it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/18 11:55 PM
2

I wouldn't call radio shows removing a song from circulation banning. I'd call it a song losing relevance and aging poorly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/18 06:22 PM
4

Wait, are you complaining that women aren't clear about consent while complaining about backlash against a song that portrays women as not being clear about their consent?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/18 06:21 PM
4

Don't let me off easy for it, I wasn't emotionally scarred or anything by it because my friends helped me recover right. It's just another experience of mine. In the modern dating script, trying to leave 16 times is taken as a sign that she truly isn't interested. "What's in this drink" may have been a funny vaudeville joke a century ago, but the modern party scene has a serious risk of being drugged. There's a reason why when my female friends go out to drink they never leave their drink unatte…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/18 06:07 PM
3

Yes, that is one radio station announcing that it won't play that song anymore. They use the word "ban" but the has no wider effect on any other way you could listen to that song. And in fact, the song is more or less how I was raped, but framed as playful flirting instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/18 05:51 PM
3

It's not banned, it's just stations not playing it. And of course it's the one listed as "the xmas rape song," what else would fit in that entry? In the modern context it's a woman being pressured into sleeping with a guy, even if in its original context it meant something different. It's cute, but so is an Apple II.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/18 02:43 PM
1

Yes, I know 4 that are consistently stealth, and a few others that pass most of the time and can tell when they don't. I know one who's been stealth for over half a year so far at a construction site.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 10:23 PM
2

Thanks, I try. You don't hear about Christians like me that often because we don't bring up our religion much. I mean, why would you care what I think Christ said? Any truly good belief should be able to stand on its own without the shield of "God said so" anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 08:26 PM
1

I don't actually know any Orthodox Christians personally, I was just going off of Pew's numbers. But the beliefs of church leaders are often far more extreme than those of the people on the ground. I'm sorry that your area is still so homophobic. I'm guessing that they are mostly evangelical protestants?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 07:06 PM
4

Probably not. Radical feminists are more a sign that it's possible to move right, or to have a right-leaning faction in a leftist group, than that the further left you go, the more similar you are to the right. Liberal feminists, for example, are just as extreme as radical feminists, but completely different from rightists.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:34 PM
3

You should learn more about what the average Christian actually believes; we're a lot more liberal than the loudest voices would make you believe. Hell, my Catholic Church put out a "love wins" sign when gay marriage was legalized. According to Pew, Catholics, Mainline Protestants, and Orthodox Christians support gay marriage just about the same as the general population.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:32 PM
3

Do you think trans people can't tell when they're stealth?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:10 PM
0

I see. The first one is sex-negative enough that I'm guessing they mostly evolved into the terf crowd? Especially since they tend to use anti-penis arguments there too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:08 PM
4

To back up your point, I have strongly feminist friends who've wanted children since college.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:05 PM
3

As a devout Christian who is dating a trans Christian, that is not what it boils down to. The Catholic Church specifically is mistaken in that it ties the soul to the body over the brain, so they expect gender to be subservient to sex. In the case of a mismatch the body wins over the mind. They also view hormonal transition and SRS to be cosmetic treatments that violate the sanctity of the body. For the other transphobic denominations it's just your standard "mental illness" misconception wrappe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 06:01 PM
8

Wow, this is really well worded. Did you write this off the top of your head? I've been looking for a way to describe the benefits and costs of being treated like the default for a while now.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 05:50 PM
7

That's really not the only argument against the acceptance of trans people, even in religious circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 05:45 PM
13

Radical feminism, as opposed to liberal feminism, is a really interesting movement. The ideology split along the question on how to treat trans people, and the trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs) ended up swinging around to traditionalism in their rhetoric. It's actually kind of funny to see self-professed feminists argue that the only thing that makes a woman is her ability to bear children.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 05:41 PM
26

Yeah, about as often as I see it in guys. Have you considered making better friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/18 02:43 AM
1

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I could move faster if there's an understanding that we can fall back to the most intimate common denominator at any time, but in general I want to find a relationship that lasts, you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/18 04:17 PM
2

First of all, draw it out as long as she doesn't seem to be getting discouraged. You can't move to an earlier state in your relationship, so don't move forward too much. And I actually went on something like 10 "dates," at least, with my current partner before we asked ourselves if we were de facto dating. I probably wouldn't draw a strict line in it. I'd ask if she wanted to do something one-on-one, then if she said yes and enjoyed it, if she wanted to do something more regular. Then, if she sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/18 09:45 PM
1

Right, we all are. But a person needs to accept that they are emotional in order to deal with their emotions. A lot of men think that they've effectively suppressed their emotions and it leaves a huge blind spot to the possibility that they aren't being completely logical.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 08:43 PM
0

Yeah, I oversimplified. Men I know who try to ignore their emotions are still influenced by them, and usually to a larger degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 07:22 PM
6

I'm not so sure. The men I know act on their emotions, they just refuse to recognize it
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 04:12 PM
2

"Men can't change" is simultaneously one of the most condescending and enabling notions I hear in modern feminism and liberalism in general. It leads to the idea that you should just let half the population die off and replace them instead of going through the effort of talking to people who disagree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 04:10 PM
4

To be honest? I think that there are a large variety of social pressures that encourage men to be more serious and women to be less so, ranging from how American masculinity is a lot more restrictive than femininity to how women's interests are largely taken less seriously than men's. This isn't to say that women are never more serious than men, but that it's easier for women to take life less seriously and indulge in pseudoscience for the lols than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 03:50 PM
2

Yeah. I like reading horoscopes mostly for the curiosity of it, or the joke of reading it and going, "😄😄Good luck 🍀 for me today, better invest 💲➡️💲💲💲 in lottery tickets" or whatever, just to start my day with 30 seconds of silliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 03:36 PM
6

Said like someone who truly doesn't grasp the idea of "fun"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 03:31 PM
6

I'm saying that just because they believe in say astrology doesn't mean they necessarily take those beliefs seriously. Not everything needs to be a grand search for truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 03:17 PM
5

Because women are more likely to grasp the idea of "fun"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 02:32 PM
1

You can still donate sperm. That reading of the definition would also include gay people, and isn't medically useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/18 07:04 PM
3

Sure. I'm familiar with the concept of consensual non-consent. However, why do you think people enjoy that level of play? A lot of scenes don't involve physically sensual actions until very late; the setup is the important part. Why? Because they get a rush off the power dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:48 PM
3

Sure, but the BDSM community is vocally against rape and for consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:36 PM
2

If it's just about sex, then why don't they hire a prostitute?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:35 PM
3

A lot of rapes are about establishing a power dynamic. Other animals do it all the time, and it still happens to this day. Why did Adam Venit grab Terry Crews's crotch at that party? Not because he likes guys' junk, but because he knew that there was nothing Crews could do to stop him, and it made him feel powerful. Same reason why one person would rather violate another person sexually than get a prostitute. The fact that their victim can't stop them is the real high they're chasing. I don't th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:32 PM
2

"Women don't seek sex" and "men need sex" are false statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 08:43 PM
1

No, they're about as effective as a condom used ideally. The only true way to be completely infertile is permanent surgery. However, the use of an IUD, condoms, and hormones can nearly eliminate the chances of getting pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 04:08 PM
1

Yeah, same here. I'm not interested in a vasectomy yet, but I'm excited over the chance to passively reduce unwanted pregnancies by another 3 orders of magnitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:45 PM
1

Yeah. The pill and condoms are good in theory, but susceptible to human error. The IUD, on the other hand, is set by a doctor, can be removed at any time, and lasts 10 years without upkeep. Also, it is about as effective as using a condom perfectly every time. Also, have you ever heard of vasagel? It's under development and is essentially the same concept but for the male reproductive system. They inject a polymer into the vas deferens that lasts 10 years, and when you want it removed they injec…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:31 PM
1

Wait, why not use the same program but with contraceptives? IUDs, male and tale condoms, hormonal rings, and the pill are all very effective ways to reduce pregnancy, and condoms also reduce the transmission of STDs. Also, you could channel funding into male contraceptives, like a pill or chemical to block the vas deferens.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:23 PM
1

If I remember correctly, there was a fairly effective program in Africa that gave people Playstations and significantly reduced the transmission of STDs, since people had other things to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:20 PM
3

Isn't that what the IUD is for? It's about as effective as perfect condom use, and can be used in conjunction with hormones and barriers. If you use all three, the odds of pregnancy go to the order of 1 in 106
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:19 PM
8

I agree. I think at this point, the responsibility is more on the person revoking consent to make it clear than the person who doesn't revoke consent. I think the best way to do that would be to make it more clear that revoking consent at any time is an okay thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:13 PM
7

Yeah, I agree that the question was worded badly. Consent can be revoked at any time, and even if it's a dick move their partner or partners should respect that. If someone wants stop even long after getting naked on the bed, and you just have to stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 03:06 PM
1

I was reading more into the sentence above it, "Men place little to no value on your achievements"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 02:58 PM
2

Probably because women are encouraged to be more expressive about their excitement?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 09:42 PM
2

I mean, that soft power is a power given to them by men. Guys don't have to be so thirsty for sex that they're willing to pay for a date they were invited to. I agree that feminism is weak at identifying women's privileges, though, because feminism inherently needs to be led by women. I think that, if you're going to start analyzing men's restrictions in society, you need a parallel but separate movement led by men. I think, though, after hearing my girl friends' experiences, that feminism is st…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 06:57 PM
2

Yeah. I think it's an old relic, and if I were making significantly more than the person I'm dating I'd probably offer to pay more, but if you want to have an equitable relationship you have to treat each other equally. Though you make a good point with the gatekeepers of sex, haha. As long as guys are the ones who want sex more, women will have a little extra power over them. Whether or not they should use that power doesn't change the fact that some women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 06:31 PM
2

Yikes. That's kind of presumptuous if you ask me. Can you imagine a grown woman asking a guy, "hey, could you buy me a cup of coffee sometime?"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 05:53 PM
1

I don't know how prevalent that archetype actually is, and I don't see how men marrying lower-status women implies that they aren't marrying for a personal connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 05:50 PM
6

I didn't say that they were the same, I said that OP's idea of what men are attracted by, specifically only physical characteristics, shows that he's shallow and assumes that all other men are like him. Which, by the way, was a similar theme in the guys I knew that were as shallow as OP. They couldn't understand that guys can be attracted to a person for other aspects of their personhood. Also, the post assumes that there aren't women who are just as shitty and shallow as OP assumes men to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 02:59 PM
1

Generally I base my statements on women's preferences on what I've seen in person. If you don't have a lot of those experiences I understand how you'd assume I only listen to lies people post on the internet to seem better to anonymous peers
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 02:45 PM
3

I'm sorry that's been your experience
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 02:13 PM
7

This makes it sounds like hypergamy is a man being frustrated that women have higher standards than them. You're assuming that all men are as shallow as you are, which is really uncharitable and just sounds like someone trying to justify not being more invested in their partner's personhood. For your high school analogy, from what I remember nerdy girls still put more effort into their appearance than an equally nerdy guy, which would account for this hypothetical gap in dating popular people. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 01:39 PM
15

Yeah, that's more or less the status quo where I grew up. The person who initiates pays for the date. If you're regularly going out, sharing the cost 50/50 is considered polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 01:24 PM
0

Yeah, I agree, as long as the option is just as open for guys as well (which I think it is). When you're young, you should use the opportunity to experience a wide range of things and find out what you like. Then when you're older you can settle down with that richer for the experience. If anything that makes what you settled down with more valuable because you knew your options better. The paranoia of settling down with a person who slept around when they were younger comes from the idea that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 12:46 PM
3

I'm a guy, with a lot of girl friends. My friendships with women and trans guys tended to be a lot more emotionally mature than my friendships with cis guys, but that changed as we all got older. Talking with women, especially when they just casually told me their problems, was really eye-opening to how different we have it. I don't have to worry about being openly followed by a drunk lusty 6'8" woman, but both of my girl friends who are under 5'4" and live in the city have been followed after w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 12:38 PM
4

Yep. If you sum us all up, we grossed 1 lesson
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/18 10:38 PM
4

Ever heard of the metaphor of the crab bucket? Incels are like the worst kind of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/18 10:37 PM
4

Man, the quality fell through the floor. I actually unsubscribed for the week shit was so bad. If I want that kind of quality, I know where to find it. No need to import it. Tbh having a purge week on a specific subreddit is like holding the Purge in a city just across the border from Syria or Somalia.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/18 10:33 PM
1

To be honest, all we know about you at this point is that you don't intentionally hit on them (I add intentionally because apparently I hit on most people I know when I think I'm just being a good conversationalist). Do you have any ideas what you might do that might make them dislike you? Like for example, do you encourage debate when they want to let a topic lie?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/18 10:24 PM
1

Huh, I guess I haven't noticed that
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 09:45 PM
1

Yeah, same here
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 09:44 PM
2

Yeah, but do you see them calling people autistic?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 09:34 PM
1

A lot of people with middle-school levels of maturity come here, mostly bleed overs from the less mature parts of the manosphere and incel groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 09:28 PM
1

"retarded" stopped being an acceptable not-acceptable/edgy insult, so they started using a word they think is similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 09:16 PM
5

Make stupid posts, win stupid comments
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 08:25 PM
3

Her legal name is "Christine Blasey Ford," so the other name is inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/18 08:22 PM
1

Alright, I don't have as much experience with parties, but my girl friends that did gave me some advice. Start off talking. If she compliments you, compliment her back, preferably something she chose, like clothes, makeup, etc. Maybe get a little physical, a little inside her space, but make sure to see how she reacts. Even if it's a negative reaction at first, it could mean that you're moving too fast just as much as it could mean that she's not interested. Back off as a sign of respect, maybe …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/18 09:20 PM
1

I'd be a little more subtle about it, but pretty much, yeah. "Hey, I really like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to hook up some time" is more or less exactly what I used.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/18 09:01 PM
2

Toss out a lot of friendship lines, get to know a lot of women well platonically, if any of them seem interested in anything more, ask them in a way that makes it apparent that "No" is an acceptable answer. I know it seems really passive, but it worked great for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/18 08:46 PM
5

Well, where are you finding your friends? The women I've seen are about as terrible or good as the guys they hang out with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/18 07:56 PM
3

What if we just cut to the chase and arrest incels
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 07:33 PM
3

Wow, nice anecdote
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/18 06:56 PM
1

Whoever asked the other out should pay for it, problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/18 06:22 PM
2

I mean, sure, number of partners is not the same as number of encounters. However, we were talking about the number of partners. Is that what you were disagreeing with? I was talking only about number of partners, N-count, for which 10 is the average, the norm. The average person, man and woman, is having sex about 6 times per 4 weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 02:18 PM
1

When you consider that the average age of marriage is around 30, your N-count at 35 is probably your N-count for life. And, by the way, the lifetime average N-count for baby boomers is 11. You're right that it's going down, though, because the expected aversge lifetime N-count for millennials is only 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 01:58 PM
6

No, it is. It literally is. The statistical norm is 11 for boomers, 10 for X'rs. That hypothetical woman is wrong because she doesn't have the sample base to be accurate, but if the average woman was having sex 7 times a week, she would be right. The average person has sex about 6 times in 4 weeks, and will have had about 10 partners. That's what reality already is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 01:55 PM
5

No, it's just that now, when I hear you call someone a slut, I'll know that you mean, "someone getting a normal amount of sex."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 01:25 PM
6

So you think the average baby boomer is slutty?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 01:15 PM
4

A lifetime 11 is the average for baby boomers, 10 for Gen X'rs, and 8 is the expected number for millennials. The silent and greatest generations averaged about 3 in their lifetimes. Maybe you just need to update your standards out of the 1940s?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 01:11 PM
15

It isn't N-count directly, but men drastically overestimate how much sex women get. There was a study that asked people 18-29 how much sex they had had in the last 28 days and how much they thought men and women had, on average, in the last 28 days. Both men and women guessed that men had sex about 14 times in 28 days, the answer was 6. However, when it came to how much sex women were having, women guessed 12, and men guessed 23. The reality was also 6. So everyone thinks they get about half as …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 06:43 AM
1

I assumed that your understanding of MBTI was the same as the understanding in the paper you linked. In summary, the understanding is that the model is binary, proscriptive, completely static, and a complete model of human personality. None of these things are true in the current understanding and application. I can give a more complete rebuttal of the paper if you want, but that is the executive summary.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 07:59 PM
1

It's from 1993, it's 25 years old. And, as I mentioned, almost all of its applications and interpretations of the MBTI model are no longer used. If you read my comment, you'll see the specifics. I'm sure that continuing to repeat your thesis will make your arguments stronger and definitely makes me more sure you know what "empirical" means.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 07:47 PM
1

No, I do understand now. You're thinking of an outdated application of the test and measurements. Even when I took it in high school no one mentioned using it for career selection. It was used in the mental health unit as an example of ways a personality can vary. In college it was used in the team operation course as a tool for identifying common ways people can think differently and resolve those differences. It also was taught as being four single-mode bell curves that people fall on. It also…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 07:26 PM
1

How is saying, "you answered that you get energy from being with people, so you are extroverted" not empirical? It's a direct measurement of how your preferences fit the defined traits. Either you've been grossly misinformed about what MBTI is, or you're just a troll.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 05:31 PM
1

That's not accurate. An MBTI has 4 axes: Introvert vs Extrovert, Intuition vs Senses, Thinking vs Feeling, Judgment vs Perception. You could also express my type as (-1,1,-1,1) though the tests usually don't just give you a binary score. I'm more like (-0.95,0.9,-0.1,0.2). And it uses your judgment and preferences to describe your personality. That is a direct measurement, as opposed to astrology measuring the positions of the stars and planets and associating that with your personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 05:22 PM
2

Wow, why the sudden aggression? I already told you that I don't go on there, and what I expected it to have based on what I've seen elsewhere. You didn't tell me that I was wrong, so I continued to use that idea. If it isn't guys acting entitled and yelling at women for rejecting them, then say so.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 04:55 PM
2

The difference is that while astrology uses your dare and time of birth to predict your personality, MBTI describes your personality. We already know that some people are more extroverted than others, or rely on intuition or feelings more than others. When it comes to mapping personalities, 4 axes provides for plenty of nuance. The other stuff, like falling back on your inferior personality, has worked for me, but that part is anecdotal, and should be put through a double-blind study to see if i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 04:47 PM
2

Well, if you only care about being able to turn her on, and you're older than say 17, you really need to grow up before asking any girl out. Because everyone gets frustrated when they get rejected, but it shows your real goals when you make it her problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 01:29 PM
2

That's your prerogative. I was thinking I could comment my handle, we could send each other a selfie, then block/remove each other, and I'd delete the comment. It'd still kind of break the anonymity, so I don't blame you. I guess you're right, I did take the lead in clarifying how we felt about each other. But I never, before that point, intended to cultivate that. I never hit on them, never flirted, which is more what I think of when I hear "pick up." Because you're right, networking and listen…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 02:02 AM
2

The networking serves to expose you to more people. That should be a big part of any dating strategy. And you should know, active listening is just a great way to make friends in general. It doesn't need to be some intense therapy session, though they turn that way naturally more often than you'd expect. But you can also use it to let people talk about things they love. In retrospect, I might have gotten this from being an ENFJ, if you know Meyers-Briggs. But yeah, I've initiated about half of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 01:10 AM
3

Oh, it did. It got me both my current 3-year relationship and the most attractive hookup I've had yet, my first girlfriend, and 5 other fwb relationships. And I'm definitely in the bottom 50% when it comes to looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 12:22 AM
2

Well yeah, relationships aren't transactional that way. Emotional support in does not require romantic feelings out, and thinking so comes off as really entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 10:56 PM
3

Does the rest of my comment sound like I tell him to be passive? I encourage him to find large social networks and learn how to be an active listener.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 09:27 PM
4

I think it's, to a certain degree, a problem of language. Saying that you're motivated by having sex with someone implies that you're intending to manipulate or use them, and not respect their personhood. But I don't think motivations need to have an end goal. I can be attracted to someone without ever intending to have sex with them, and I can want to get to know a person I'm attracted to without expecting sex to be anywhere near a possibility. I don't think either of those are skeevy, especial…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 08:55 PM
2

Well, the comments are talking about the pictures, right? Talking about what they did wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 08:03 PM
5

You're right. Museums are not the place to pick up women for a one-night stand. But it would be a good place to meet new, intellectually stimulating friends. And from those friends you might find a good relationship, eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 08:02 PM
3

Maybe I'm misreading it, but it sounds like you're saying that you need to look sexy to even talk to a girl, which isn't true. Anyone who acts like a creep is going to get rejected, regardless of looks. Anyone who talks well is going to at least get a conversation, regardless of looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 07:27 PM
2

I don't follow that sub so this may be off base, but the "nice guy" pictures I've seen have only been problems when the guy either 1) freaks out and gets aggressive when the girl rejects him, or 2) reveals that their entire friendship has been only a ploy to get in the girl's pants. I think it's okay to be friends with the intent of asking her out at some point, but don't base your friendship on a lie. When I ask a friend out, I still value our friendship on its own.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 06:22 PM
2

Hell yeah! That's the goal. I'm currently dating my best friend, and the friendship came first, not the dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 05:20 PM
4

Awesome! A lot of modern musicals have electric guitar/bass parts, you could try out for that! They usually run near the end of the year/spring semester, but the music program might have other opportunities starting right now! I'd say go and ask if they have any spots for a guitarist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 04:23 PM
3

Oh really? And why?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 04:08 PM
1

Dude, everything in our personal lives is subjective at some level. It's just how our brains work. A 10-minute drive while being yelled at can feel longer than a 4-hour drive with a good conversation, despite being numerically longer. Likewise, a hot asshole can look worse than an ugly friend. Perception is subjective, man.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 04:06 PM
5

Look up "demisexual." I'm not debating whether or not it's a real orientation, but a lot of women say that they only experience attraction when they get to know someone. Emotional attraction isn't going to make a woman wet in public at the sight of you, but it might in a pseudo-romantic setting. Never discount the power of making a woman laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 03:51 PM
2

Remember that looks are very subjective. If a girl likes you, you'll look better to them. They'll associate your identifiable features with how you make them feel, with the good or bad times you have with them. And that's a really strong driver of attraction. To be honest, I'm not good-looking on an objective scale. But I can and have out-competed much better-looking guys because of who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 03:42 PM
3

Not all sexual attraction is at first sight. There's another kind that comes from the person themselves, their personality and interests, and while it can take time to build, it's generally not influenced by looks. And, in my opinion, that "secondary" attraction is better and more validating anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 03:22 PM
5

Looks are at worst an obstacle, not a barrier. If you help people associate an emotion with your face/body, they won't care as much about your looks. A solid joke or insightful remark early on in an interaction can help or hurt just as much as physical looks. And, with enough practice, you can even use your bad looks to your advantage. I regularly joke about my oversized nose or undersized chin. Why? Beyond that I think it's healthy to be able to laugh at yourself, highlighting your superficial …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 03:06 PM
8

Maybe, instead of hitting on them, strike up a conversation? Ask a question about a particular piece, or offer a piece of trivia. If you two hit it off, you might be able to meet up with them again.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:52 PM
3

Don't try to pick someone up. It's counter-intuitive, but letting them come to you works great in college, especially if you can find a large social network to be a part of. Also, develop social skills; learn how to have a conversation casually focused on the other person's interests. If you can, learn how to care about other people's interests purely because they care about it. If women see that you value them as a person and you're not a risk to hook up with, some will be interested, even over…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:50 PM
6

Music and theater, in my experience. Do you play an instrument? You also work on the stage crew or even act if you wanted to. It's also a very open and friendly environment, which can really help with your mental health!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:34 PM
5

What? Yeah, of course, but only if you give marriage the social weight it used to have. Someone made the heavy decision to be partnered with you for life, and that's an amazingly validating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:29 PM
1

I wasn't talking about people that follow /TRP, I'm talking about the results of the latest survey held by this sub. 22 out of 116 respondents said they sided with the Red Pill, which is actually 20%, so I'm going to edit my comment. My point is that most people on this sub aren't red pill, so you might have to explain your terminology.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:06 PM
1

Makes sense, only something like 18-20% of this sub is red pill. Edit: changed statistic to be more accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 02:00 PM
1

Do you also want us to record our ages? Because this is a very different situation for a 20-year-old vs a 40-year-old
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 01:57 PM
1

I mean no, I'm just trying to live a life that keeps me and the people I care about happy. The sex is incidental.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 02:46 AM
1

Wait, why would I trade quality for quantity? Also, the Vikings put perfume in their hair and left the math to the women, and the Spartans valued both gay and straight sex for different circumstances. They also washed themselves and combed each other's hair in preparation for battle. Maybe a different group's norms are what you want for masculinity?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 02:18 AM
1

Okay, so you'd want something like the Norse Vikings, or Spartans.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 02:05 AM
1

And masculinity as it is now, in San Fran Sisco in 2018, is the natural and normal state for masculinity to be in? As opposed to, say, Kentucky in 1950 or Persepolis in 450 BC.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 01:17 AM
1

Shame isn't what fuels my ethics. I care about being accurate, following the ideas that most accurately and precisely predict reality. For example, I don't think that crying and being strong are as gendered as society makes them to be, but women are generally more emotional and men physically stronger. I know this from people socially raised as guys who went on women's hormones and had to deal with stronger emotions and smaller muscles, and people raised as girls who when on testosterone who fel…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 01:14 AM
1

I mean, what is your definition?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:08 AM
2

It's not a thing only encouraged in men, but it's a thing associated with masculinity and not femininity. Women are encouraged to be confident, not because it's associated with being a woman, but because it's associated with being successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:03 AM
3

I also didn't say anything good about femininity, socialism, or capitalism, so I'm pretty sure that's just your bias showing. Also, positive masculinity is a concept in feminism, it just isn't talked about much because people tend to talk about problems as opposed to goo things. I'm pretty sure your experience with feminism has been really limited Fyi, many feminists aren't women, and many women aren't feminists, so I don't know why you're acting like it's some sort of conspiracy. What sort of d…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 11:03 PM
1

No, because there are other aspects of masculinity, such as not wearing dresses. Speaking of, did you watch RWBY?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 10:58 PM
3

It's definitely not shorthand in that example though, it's just an adjective. Even if people use it in a lazy way the term is still apt, and for the record I've still never seen it used in a lazy way, except maybe for labeling an entire person as toxic. But that's still pretty far removed from the idea that parts of capitalism or masculinity can be toxic. Another thing to keep in mind is that, just as the tenets and qualities of masculinity has changed by time and place, so does the values of ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 09:45 PM
3

When a woman walks with confidence, that leads her to show off more feminine parts of herself. However, the confidence itself is femininity-neutral. Confidence in things that don't accent her femininity does not make her seem more feminine the way a man's confidence in things that don't accent his masculinity makes him seem more masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 09:23 PM
3

I'm not convinced, you're the one that just keeps repeating themselves instead of countering what I'm saying. I still don't see how it's lazy to point out part of a social construct as damaging. People call relationships toxic all the time, and that isn't lazy either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 09:16 PM
5

Isn't an individual's view of masculinity linked to their society's view? The first is formed partially by the second, and the second is the conglomerate of the first held by many people. Also, have you ever tried to analyze why something may or may not be toxic? Whenever I see the word used, it usually is with a lot of analysis, on what makes it toxic and were it might have come from, et cetera.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 09:02 PM
3

So you're saying that a woman's self-confidence wouldn't be labeled as mannish, like say a certain ex-First-Lady?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:55 PM
2

Well, yeah. That just reminds me of that time a few years ago where some black football players spoke out against aspects of black culture, like the glorification of violence and eschewing of education iirc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:49 PM
4

Toxic socialism exists, as does toxic capitalism. The term isn't used in that area, but it fits. Toxic socialism refers to the aspects of socialism that hurts people, for example. There are definitely parts of American masculinity that are hurting and killing men, and there should be a term to refer to them specifically. Masculinity isn't toxic, but aspects of it, like self-reliance to the point of never asking for help or stoicism to the point of never admitting suicidal thoughts, kill people. …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:45 PM
4

She isn't considered more feminine for acting confident though, so it doesn't disprove my point. A woman who confidently wears a dress isn't considered more feminine than a woman who meekly wears the same dress the same way. Her confidence might lead to her doing more feminine things just from the sheer aspect of doing more, but it is those feminine things that makes her seem more feminine, rather than the confidence itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:35 PM
7

Your previous comment wasn't accurate. You explicitly said that toxic masculinity didn't exist. It would be more like: Person 1: Bad TV doesn't exist. Don't let people shame you for watching TV. Person 2: Really? There are no bad TV shows? Parts of masculinity are called toxic when they are hurting people. That's why they're called toxic. Do you have a better term?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:31 PM
5

Well, like I said, a woman isn't considered more feminine if she's more or less confident, but a man is considered more masculine if he is more confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:22 PM
6

The term is definitely not vacuous, and I haven't ever seen it used as a club to avoid debate. "Toxic" modifies "masculinity" the in "reject toxic masculinity" same way "bad" modifies "TV" in "Don't watch bad TV." I can see how you can interpret it as saying that all of masculinity is toxic, but only if you have a bias that the people saying it think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:17 PM
6

Just to be clear, I'm going to interpret that as "name a positive aspect of American masculinity that isn't an aspect of American femininity," since most of masculinity is social, as opposed to innate to men's nature. I'd say self-confidence. Femininity has gotten extremely broad in American culture in the past 100 years or so, but I'd say that self-confidence isn't considered feminine, but it is considered masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:12 PM
4

Really? No parts of masculinity are toxic?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 07:53 PM
3

I wasn't able to find a study explicitly about male feminists' relationships with their father, but this study of 955 college undergrads ( https://www.google.com/url?q=https://shareok.org/bitstream/handle/11244/25743/Armstrong_okstate_0664M_13999.pdf%3Bsequence%3D1&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwiou8v2_JLdAhVOzlkKHf7TCWEQFggLMAA&usg=AOvVaw2j-CP6T_EMrMI5Vv22Q2PJ ) (it's a pdf, by the way) says that having a more present father is pretty strongly correlated with agreeing with him more, though not as strongly as …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 07:34 PM
2

I think the term needs to be changed, because this is a common misconception. Toxic masculinity doesn't refer to the idea that all of masculinity is toxic, it refers to the toxic parts of masculinity. Like, "you need to stop watching bad TV" means "you need to stop watching the part of TV that is bad" not "you need to stop watching TV, TV is bad." Some women might treat men as disposable, but they definitely aren't the biggest problem facing men today. They're a part of a larger, systemic proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 03:59 PM
1

That's fair. It's a two-pronged problem: how men view themselves, and how society views men. The two are similar, for example society treating a man who makes less money than his wife as the feminine one in the situation vs a man feeling emasculated by his wife making more money than him, but they're ultimately different processes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 03:45 PM
2

Society treating men as disposable is a part of toxic masculinity. It's the values that lead to men choosing much deadlier forms of suicide than women, dying at 3 times the rate despite attempting it only 1/3 as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 03:41 PM
1

Probably because feminism is specifically ill-equipped to promote men's issues. Men need a comparable movement to target toxic masculinity, but that movement has to be separate from feminism to accurately represent men's issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 03:16 PM
2

There is various organized churches, sure, but there's also a ton of people who are non-denominational, who believe what they personally believe. So you can say that someone isn't Methodist, or Catholic, but since Martin Luther started preaching that lay people can have their own interpretation of the Bible, there's no interpretation that is universally false. Also, the Universalist Unitarians believe that you don't need to worship Jesus to go to Heaven, and they're still considered Christian.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 10:05 PM
2

Well that's your definition, but why are you an authority? And are you going to be able to convince atheists who call themselves Christian that they aren't actually Christian?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 09:36 PM
2

Easy. Someone who believes in God nominally, but never acts like it. People who claim to pray to God but openly and unabashedly put wealth and power first. People who use "Christian" as a term to describe their social group and culture, but don't act on the teachings or beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 09:28 PM
2

I'm a Christian, so I have to deal with this sort of thing a lot. There are people killing in Christ's name, stealing in Christ's name, and so much else. And I can't say, "oh, that person who used the Bible to justify taking children from parents isn't a real Christian, your anger is misplaced." Whether or not I think they're Christian doesn't matter, because they're still going to use that name and people are going to associate it with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 09:11 PM
3

To be honest, I'd consider them arrogant or uncharitable before I consider them unfeminist. Feminism is a very slippery term, since it's gotten so popular and changes in reaction to society. In reality, a feminist is whomever calls themselves a feminist. Without a central authority defining dogma, there isn't any rigorous way to police the term.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 06:17 PM
3

Probably not for real. Humanity's closest relatives are chimpanzees and bonobos, so our behavior is probably closest to theirs. Though we don't have any really close relatives to compare to, and we've gone through a lot of evolution since separating from the other apes. The "women are like cats, men are like dogs" joke is funny, but probably not a good model to take seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 06:13 PM
2

Yeah. I mean, in general, if someone's honest relationship style is different than yours, then that isn't a good enough reason to consider them faulty or damaged.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 06:06 PM
3

That's pretty close to it. We make judgements about everyone we meet, like datable vs not datable. But a moral judgment would be like "good" or "bad." Like, it's okay if people aren't your style, but don't think that they're worse people for it. Though the boundary isn't universal. Refusing to defend you because you are on a date is different than refusing to defend you because you are being attacked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 05:46 PM
5

Well, I referenced the 1950s housewife because the 1950s were a time of really restrictive social norms, but following those by one's free will still fine. Likewise, I think that part of a woman's right to choice includes the right to be an asshole like you described, expecting the man to take care of everything. She doesn't have a right to friends or a successful dating life, but she's free to act and expect what she wants. Once that extends to a moral judgement on other people though, that cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 04:11 PM
5

Yeah, naturally. The point is that women have the ability to choose what path they want to take, and aren't being forced into one path or the other. Wanting to follow the 1950s model of unambitious housewife isn't bad on it's own, but some feminists are wary of it as a sign of bowing to social norms as opposed to forging your own path.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 03:56 PM
3

Oh, really? Sorry. On my browser it redirects to the paper. The title is, "(Psychological) Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: Effects of Psychological Distance and Relative Intelligence on Men’s Attraction to Women" and while the link goes to a pay wall, you can download the pdf.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 06:42 PM
3

Well, it depends on what you're looking for. If someone's smarter than you, you're dating up in that department, and you won't have to take care of them by explaining things, etc. You've more than doubled the total intelligence you can use to solve your problems. On the other hand, it could hurt your pride.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 04:55 PM
4

When in doubt, Google Scholar. Though you have to keep in mind that most of these studies are done on undergrad psychology/sociology students, so it might not be widely applicable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 04:51 PM
24

Using this study: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C33&as_vis=1&q=relative+intelligence+dating&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&p=&u=%23p%3D5UrNryUbZCkJ It looks like men are attracted to women more intelligent than them in theory, but when actually meeting someone that is more intelligent, tend to react negatively to being shown up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 02:13 PM
1

Edit: was a duplicate, deleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 08:34 PM
3

I wouldn't go that far. Humans are very social creatures, and being a part of a social group is important for our mental health. However, you're right in that you should not have external validation as the foundation of your self-esteem. Let it be icing on the cake.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 08:34 PM
3

There can be, depending on what you value. If you yourself value being in shape, or having more energy, then the intent of getting in shape isn't for getting someone else's approval, but for your own. Like, I want to be able to run long distances. So I'm training to be more fit. I don't care if other people know I run, I just do it on my own, for myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 06:29 PM
1

I'll give that women generally have a lower sex drive than men, but they have erogenous zones. Sex feels good to them, it doesn't have to be a banal price for dating someone. And the straight and bi/pan ones do like looking at dicks. As a whole, it's just about men putting time in to being attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 07:18 PM
4

It's Goodhart's Law: "When a metric of success itself becomes the goal, it stops being a good metric."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 03:28 PM
1

Yes, but you don't need to date someone to find comraderie. If someone is feeling lonely, they should seek out friendships first.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 02:35 PM
1

Well there's two problems: 1, sex and romantic relationships aren't a need, and no one is entitled to one. If you're desperate for a relationship, that's a want problem, and changing your priorities is another solution. 2, it's more like telling someone to not act desperate when interviewing for a job. If you act like it's hard to get a relationship, people are going to start assuming reasons, and you'll hurt your chances.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 02:23 PM
2

Farmers need as many hands as possible, and that still doesn't preclude social interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 10:14 PM
2

Isn't that itself a recent phenomenon of the industrial revolution?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 09:44 PM
4

Based on what assumption?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 08:59 PM
4

Dude, don't use the telegraph as your source for history or.. Well anything really.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 07:31 PM
2

Dude, is that really your experience? If so, I'm sorry. Women have just as full experiences and personalities as men, and by letting your attraction get between you and having a friendship, you're cutting off half of your potential friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 07:28 PM
2

Every abortion is a tragedy. Not saying it should be illegal, just that it's the result of a bunch of unfortunate events and it at the very least destroys the chance of a new human being. It should happen as little as possible. That being said, abortion should be legal and easily available. In addition, contraception should be easy to get to, proper sex ed should be standard, pregnancy and childbirth should be affordable and there should be a robust adoption service. I think that abortions shoul…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 06:08 PM
1

Lol when did that adaptation happen
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/18 04:02 PM
2

Make your own post to that point. That isn't what you argued here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/18 03:58 PM
2

Lol, by what logic? Do you reject any scientific advancement developed by women?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/18 03:57 PM
1

Well sure. I'm more talking about stuff that gets past that radar. Some things might only come into play after a while, or I might not notice some things. In that case, I hope my friends would intervene.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 06:32 PM
2

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that just sounds like normalized abuse. And it must be regional. I only new of one family that had an abusive mother, and she abused the whole family, not specifically the husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 06:30 PM
1

I am. I'm hoping that eventually I'll get friends who will tell me if I get in an abusive relationship. Now that I think about it, one family when I was growing up that we stopped hanging out with had an abusive wife. But the husband wasn't pussy-whipped so much as she had the whole household under her thumb. Everyone else had pretty egalitarian marriages, though. And in college men would occasionally fall head-over-heels for a girl, but those relationships really didn't last. Other than that an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 06:11 PM
3

Yeah. How many marriages in media are portrayed as miserable, unloving? When that's all people see, that's all they expect, and they don't try to make things better. Marriages that are 20 years in and still full of love, or still full of growth, deserve more time in the limelight. Your wife shouldn't be a ball-and-chain, or a jailor. She should be a partner, a fellow adventurer in life. Don't marry someone you don't think you'll still be in love with after half a lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 06:00 PM
3

That sounds kind of abusive. A clear power dynamic isn't healthy, and behavioral changes are a definite symptom of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:41 PM
5

I can't think of a single person in a long-term relationship who is actually pussy whipped. When someone is pussy-whipped it's usually an abusive situation and doesn't last long.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:26 PM
6

Rap isn't popular with women, though. Especially misogynistic rap
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 03:26 PM
10

I'm sorry, your source is that women don't care about misogyny because rap exists?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 03:22 PM
9

One of my coworkers listens to rap but I've never heard her play anything misogynist. Just like how I like country/folk but not the sexist parts. Also, that doesn't track with other, nerdier subreddits I follow like worldbuilding or kerbalspaceprogram.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 03:06 PM
1

Well they need to be developed, of course, but honestly beyond that size doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 07:56 PM
2

Yep! I was just expanding on your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 06:42 PM
3

Even if I wasn't hungry at first, a good meal can still make my mouth water. And yeah, I agree. I won't really enjoy sex unless my partner is, too
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 06:38 PM
6

It takes some skill sure, but so does anything worth doing. Personally, I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone that was "just okay" with having sex with me. The trick to getting enthusiastic consent is to be patient. Take your time, hold back, and wait for them to want to move to the next level. Even if you want to move on, don't until they want to as well. This has the double utility of making sure that they're constantly consenting and raising the sexiness of the encounter. The "downside" to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 06:33 PM
8

Why wouldn't you want an enthusiastic partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 04:47 PM
1

In the "relationship style" category, it should be "polyamorous," not "polygamous." Polygamy is specifically the practice of having multiple wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 04:26 PM
8

So then why didn't he start looking to get married when he was 24? Sounds kind of like he wants to have his cake and eat it too with being single in his 20s but marry a young woman. After all, men also experience a drop in potency starting in their 30s, and having older fathers is associated with an increase in some development disorders as well. Sounds like younger women should be avoiding people his age, that's just biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 04:05 PM
10

Specifically age-based standards, like why this guy is using.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 03:18 PM
9

What do you mean? By his standards, the women he's looking at should be looking for people younger than them, so they stay attractive longer. If he expects them to date him, they'd be settling for someone who is going to get unattractive sooner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 03:12 PM
11

It's not misogynist, it's hypocritical. He's requiring that the women he dates be younger than him while expecting them to have lower standards and date someone older than them. Also, accusing women of attacking him because he reminds them that they're getting to old to have kids is BS. Most of the parents I knew growing up had kids in their late 30s and 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 02:59 PM
1

Not appeal, deferral.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 03:12 PM
2

Maybe you only consider it common sense because you don't know enough to realize you don't know much about it. Maybe it's a more complicated, nuanced situation than you know and you should default to someone with more information
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 02:07 PM
2

Why should you definition of ethical matter to other people? And why would you be in a position to know the wisdom of giving someone HIV better than someone who has it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 01:44 PM
2

You're extrapolating a lot out of what I said, unnecessarily. If I had HIV, I wouldn't want to give it to anyone, even if they were okay with it. But if someone was okay with giving it to a person, and that person was okay with getting it, then I don't see why my opinion matters. I value autonomy. To me, an action is ethical if everyone involved has consented. It may not be wise, and it may not be smart, but it is ethical.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 01:33 PM
3

If both people are okay with it, why is it unethical? Because a third party isn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 01:11 PM
1

Exactly. There's a variety, not a rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:37 PM
2

That's a completely different meaning. Anyone can make a system to describe something, but people get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to make systems that describe things accurately. The fact that TRP has a method to describe how women act does not make it accurate, and the OP has provided no evidence to support it being accurate. Edit: didn't see you weren't the OP. Changed a pronoun.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:32 PM
1

Alright then, illuminate me. Show me the studies, that, through no observation, prove that women have correlated behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:15 PM
1

So what, astrology is true because they have a system? If it wasn't true, how were they able to systemize?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:11 PM
3

Even if you're relying on someone else's observation, you're still relying on observation, which makes it a postiori
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:05 PM
4

I didn't observe that 3+3 is 6, I reasoned that 3+3 (the concepts, not the words) must be the number 3 greater than 3, represented in English as six and in Arabic numerals as 6 and in Roman numerals as VI. It's independent of how you represent it, because the abstract concept "6" is fundamentally "the number 3 greater than the number 3."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 04:01 PM
3

You can't say all things being equal when it comes the age, though. The difference between a college student and a professional is huge when it comes to experience, responsibility, and stability. Are you going to normalize financial stability between a 19-year-old and a 40-year-old? I don't know that there is a strong preference for youth and fertility for STRs and LTRs. I know there's a preference for people in similar situations to oneself and that people rationalize their attraction through t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 03:51 PM
2

Disregarding whether or not they are facts, not all facts exist a priori. Sometimes, in fact usually, they require observation to be apparent. a priori arguments tend to either be like "3+3=6" or "there are objects brighter than the brightest object," or be like "God is the best being in existence, a being would be improved by existing, therefore God exists." Are you saying that "women have shared behaviors" is the same as "all squares are rectangles? "
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 03:36 PM
2

Even for STRs. Men have wide-ranging preferences for busts and age, and even hip-waist ratio. They might have other preferences that make those characteristics negligible. Most guys I know won't sleep with girls with bad personalities, even for a ONS, regardless of body. Edit: changed the first sentence for clarity
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 03:10 PM
5

If it were that apparent, it wouldn't need a study to support it. You don't need anything but your mind to prove that all numbers that end in 3 are odd, but you do need to go out and observe people to prove that they behave in certain ways. Even "people are attracted to good mates" needs to be proven through observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 03:06 PM
3

In that case, AWALT is a case of missing the trees for the forest, like saying that you can be certain the wind tomorrow, and in fact every day for the next 2000 years, is going to be less than 500 mph. And unless you're being dramatic, saying that 99% of (straight and bi) men would prefer a busty, curvy, pretty 19-year-old over anyone else is completely inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 03:01 PM
4

So if there are a ton of studies that you've read, if there is a metastudy that supports your argument, link to them. A study doesn't just test for correlations between behaviors in general, it tests for a specific correlation between a specific set of behaviors, and there's a statistic on how likely it is to not be random chance. AWALT being "women are attracted to signs of good genes" is incredibly vague and can't be used on its own, because then you need to find what those good gene indicator…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 02:54 PM
5

Okay, so what's the difference between AWALT and APALT (all people)? The only AWALT traits I've seen be arguably valid are just as valid for men Edit: to conclude my thought, how is AWALT any different than edgy, "all people are the same, I can play them like a fiddle" but with blinders focused on women?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 02:42 PM
5

How do you know that you can correlate behaviors, though? Doesn't that require observing said behaviors?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 02:40 PM
3

I like that you're working to rigorously define terms, since it would make discussions here so much easier. (I swear, the definition of "alpha" and "Chad" changes a dozen times a day sometimes.) However, I have some criticisms for your reasoning to make it more rigorous. 1) what studies, what specifically did they test and find? 2) what studies, what specifically did they test and find? 3) just because you can write an algorithm or build a model doesn't mean it's accurate or efficient. You have …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 02:35 PM
1

There's no way to know, but if my experience on this sub says anything, RP'rs are more likely to engage in bad faith than BP'rs, so I think that an RP woman is more likely to be a man trying to buff his argument than a BP woman. However, I think the overall percent is low. Edit: I posted this response back when it was Q4BP and just asking what percent I thought of RPW were fake and why
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 01:47 PM
1

Well, at least thanks for giving me a chance to copy my text
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 01:46 PM
1

There's no way to know, but if my experience on this sub says anything, RP'rs are more likely to engage in bad faith than BP'rs, so I think that an RP woman is more likely to be a man trying to buff his argument than a BP woman. However, I think the overall percent is low.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 01:38 PM
2

Well, yeah. To be honest, one of the best parts of my relationship is how goddamn domestic it is. We cook together, walk and talk together, and marvel at how incredible it is that we got this far together. Sex makes our relationship stronger sure, but I wouldn't even be having a relationship if it were just about the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 08:56 PM
2

Probably. If you invest more in being genuine than fitting in, I imagine you feel more fulfilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 07:10 PM
16

Imagine that you and your partner instinctively understood each others' genitalia, AND there was no possibility of pregnancy. Though to be honest, most of the LGBT people I know have less invested in the archetypical masculine, "I cannot feel any positive emotions besides mirth and can never feel weakness" complex compared to my straight male friends. Maybe having to analyze an integral part of their identity lead them to be more connected to their emotions?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 06:45 PM
1

So then it's fine for women to only train for a few months too? Will that help more than say pepper spray?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:57 PM
1

Why? Men are more likely to assault men, as has been noted elsewhere. Shouldn't I be training myself to protect against people who would assault me?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:48 PM
1

Oh?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:45 PM
2

I agree, but that isn't what you've talked about elsewhere. In other comment you've talked about training for a lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:45 PM
1

Other than increased reporting and sentencing? Because sexual assault are severely underreported compared to other crimes in the US, and those crimes that are reported are less likely to end in a sentencing than, again, other crimes. Then again, that statistic was from before the MeToo movement so maybe they've changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:44 PM
1

Convincing a smaller population to do something else besides a specific action is a lot easier than convincing a very large population to spend the majority of their free time doing one thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:28 PM
2

And you think that's a reasonable expectation to make of most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:27 PM
1

Was it always tagged as a cmv? I don't remember seeing it when I first saw the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:21 PM
2

Yep, and that argument goes both ways
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:20 PM
2

So then why complain about women specifically not learning MMA? My girl friends already take more steps to defend themselves against assault than I do, why should they do more and not me?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:19 PM
3

I don't know about you, but usually people blame the attacker when someone gets assaulted. I don't see people saying that a guy who got mugged should have put up more of a fight or else this shouldn't have happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:15 PM
7

TIL it's more reasonable to expect women to spend their free time doing MMA than it is to expect men to not spend their free time assaulting women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:44 PM
7

Yeah but I don't because my friends'll start avoiding airplanes, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:24 PM
4

I'm a software engineer for an aerospace contractor. I make 50-60k per year. Though, if you want to get more accurate results, maybe ask for it to be added to the next sub-wide survey? It'll give you more results.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 06:29 PM
2

I mean, there are a lot of women incels; one actually coined the term: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/25/woman-who-invented-incel-movement-interview-toronto-attack But if you mean attractive women that don't have trouble getting sex, they'd probably empathize with the frustration, but won't say so because of all the violent fantasies they have against women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 02:19 PM
12

I mean, a woman coined the term incel to describe herself and people of both sees like her: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/25/woman-who-invented-incel-movement-interview-toronto-attack She still empathizes, she's just repulsed by the violent revenge fantasies
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 02:16 PM
7

Maternity leave is for after you give birth, not before, and it's more for properly raising the child than being unable to work. At least after the first few days.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 05:06 PM
1

Yes, but since that risk is minimized now, sex is less of big a deal for it, right? If you could take a pill that stopped people from catching feelings, that would make sex even less of a big deal, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:40 PM
1

Well, sort of. She has a lot of casual sex with people she doesn't intend to go any farther than fwb with, but she accepts feelings as an avoidable risk like pregnancy and stds. I'd argue that pregnancy is more serious than romantic feelings; does the possibility of pregnancy make sex a big deal?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:33 PM
2

I'm not so sure. The people that I know have casual sex do instinctively understand that sex can lead to a relationship, but they they take precautions against them the same way they take precautions against stds and pregnancy. One girl even refers to it as "catching feelings." They are definitely related, but if you understand the process that people develop feelings through (oxytocin floods your brain and drives you to bond with whoever or whatever is nearby), you can actively choose when to c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:26 PM
4

Dead bedroom situation is bad, but it doesn't drive people to kill themselves the same way a loss of romantic love, or a lack of emotional closeness does. One might drive the other, but that doesn't mean they kill themselves over both equally. Also, that's why men tend to commit suicide more than women after a divorce: women tend to invest emotionally in friends as well as their husband while men tend to only invest emotionally in their wife. Also, being emotionally close definitely makes sex be…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:12 PM
2

Okay, I think I see. But you don't think that romantic/emotional needs come before sexual ones? Sure sex is a physical drive, but I don't think it's as much of a need as being in an emotionally deep relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:58 PM
3

That's the idea behind a need pyramid anyway. We focus on whatever most basic needs are unmet first, then move up the pyramid. We don't perceive a need for shelter because it's already met, but if we lose our access to shelter, assuming we're in a healthy state of mind, we're going to focus on getting shelter first, making friends later.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:43 PM
4

Haha, I guessed. Humans are social creatures, and our health, both mental and physical, is improved by having emotional ties to other people. On the other hand, sex drive seriously drops off after a week without sex or masturbation and the only issue is a drop in testosterone. AFAIK it doesn't have the same association with suicide as loneliness. Why do you think that sex is more important than emotional support (which I assume is your position)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:35 PM
2

You're right, it's definitely a new dimension of roles, like top/bottom and dominant/submissive. Now we have a new dimension, causal/effected
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:15 PM
3

Damn, now you've got me stuck thinking of what that would be, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:02 PM
7

I think the poly part is an important distinction. If someone is single and doesn't have emotional validation, they might go into casual sex looking for that validation, aka looking for something more. But if they're in a romantically fulfilling relationship, then they can have sex with other people and only be looking for the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:01 PM
2

I mostly agree. If you made a pyramid of needs, romantic attachments and emotional support belong closer to the base than sexual fulfillment. For example, people can have loveless sex trying to fill a romantic or emotional hole, but they won't use a sexless romantic relationship to try to fill a sexual hole. On the other hand, if their romantic needs are already covered (like in an open or poly relationship), causal sex can definitely be very casual, even if the very existence of sex makes it le…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 02:55 PM
7

Sex is going to change the relationship between two people no matter what, because it's an extra step in intimacy. Also, if a person wants to have sex with someone else, they necessarily have feelings for that person that they don't for others. That being said, that extra feeling can just be physical attraction, as opposed to romantic feelings. It may just be that people are closer and more horny in college, but while I was there people definitely had sex with friends and were able to keep from …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 02:35 PM
16

Only semi-seriously, religion. Not saying that Jesus makes us less lonely, but in the past churches were the social center of a community. I was talking with my grandmother about a week back, and she told me that she met a lot of her friends when she was my age through her church. Pretty much everyone went, so you actually had a chance to meet people you actually liked. What serves that purpose now? What is the physical forum that people actually go to anymore where they can meet new people?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 07:15 PM
1

We're at a lifetime rate of 1.7 children per woman, well below the replacement rate of 2.1 per woman. I wonder if there's an economic factor in this. In my neighborhood, which was upper middle class, the neighborhood definitely had just over 2 kids per house on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 04:21 PM
1

I agree. There are plenty of kids the the foster system who, if given a good role model, could be more helpful to society. Given that it doesn't add the burden of supporting another life, adoption is technically a better choice than having kids, in this frame of mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 01:19 PM
4

Those men also don't have access to birth control, and are in a country that can suddenly support a much larger population.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 12:49 PM
3

If growing boobs were that easy I can think of a dozen people who would just drink soy milk instead of spending a hundred dollars a month buying Spiro
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 05:51 PM
3

I'd just like to point out that according to the most recent survey on this sub, there are a little more BPrs than RPrs, and more PPrs than both combined.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 03:17 PM
2

Hey, I was just trying to explain before people started laughing at them. Because honestly it's one of the dumbest things I've heard
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 02:40 PM
2

FYI, the only "evidence" for soy affecting testosterone comes from a 1930s study on sheep eating red clover and another study that got with a p-value of 0.68. Soy and other phytoestrogens do absolutely nothing to your hormones or behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 01:52 PM
2

Because there's a difference between finding a date you're interested in and trying to date a specific woman regardless of her feelings on the matter. Dating is more like lure fishing, where you go to where the fish are and try to catch one, than fly fishing, where you aim for a specific fish and try to get it to bite.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 11:37 AM
2

Yep! To be honest it's the most gratifying part of the experience for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/18 03:25 PM
2

I mostly just learned how to treat women well from my dad and other male role models. I stumbled into dating from just treating women well to be honest. Hung around nice people, dated nice people, and built my skills that way. Honestly dating women is just a specific case of interacting with women, and advice on how to get women to like you as a person is close enough to getting women to be romantically or sexually interested in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/18 02:37 PM
2

Ditto?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/18 08:15 PM
5

Yeah! Especially as you learn the distinction between a good friend and a good date. I have a friend that l love to talk Marvel and history with, but I would not want to date her, and I know the feeling is mutual
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/18 05:21 AM
1

What you see people walking around in: jeans, tank tops, sweaters, jeggings, etc. Go to a department store or any clothing store and you see what clothes people in the area like to wear (assuming it's staying in business, of course)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/18 02:32 PM
3

The argument that they are secondary sexual characteristics rings kind of hollow for me, seeing as modern acceptable fashion already shows them off with low-cut tank tops and plunging necklines and the like. Also, there are lots of other secondary sexual characteristics that are perfectly acceptable to display in public. So the question is, why are breasts pretty much uniquely sexualized to the point of being hidden in public almost entirely? Sure they're used in child-rearing, but out of all th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/18 12:22 AM
3

If you want to say that women go to emergency rooms for less important problems, go ahead and find some research that supports it. However, the argument is that women's complaints are interpreted as being less severe as men's, which leads to them receiving delayed treatment. While that's unfortunate, if it's true, men being disadvantaged in one area doesn't cancel out women being disadvantaged in the other. I don't know why you think you can gatekeep feminism, but I bet you have an interesting r…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 10:46 PM
1

Let's tie it back to earlier in the conversation and say that forcing someone to act against their will is immoral. You said that if someone made a decision, they can't act against their will, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:56 PM
1

1) any kind of sex? Do hand jobs or moral sex count? 2) unless they are drugged or being threatened nonphysically, like for example with the release of damaging information
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:49 PM
1

There are no morals in secularism Therefore, rape isn't wrong, right? What moral framework are you using to say that men raping women is wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:47 PM
1

As in there is no psychological component, or sex is required for it to count as rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:41 PM
1

I'm gonna disagree with you on that, but let's say you're right. Is rape itself then not immoral?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:40 PM
1

But is it moral? Is the person I hypothetically blackmailed a victim?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:38 PM
5

FYI, if you can't read my flair, I'm a guy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:33 PM
1

So then that action is morally sound, and the other person is not a victim?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:32 PM
1

So men trusting women is the same as them consenting to sex? I'm not sure I get what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:31 PM
1

So then you would answer "yes" that blackmail shouldn't be illegal?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:30 PM
2

Do you have a source for that? I can provide a lot of anecdotal evidence of women's pains being underestimated and ignores until things got serious because (usually male) doctors assumed that she was hysterical (the old medical condition of a woman being so dramatic that it gives her physical symptoms). However, I don't have any evidence to think that men's comparable stories are being as elevated, so I don't rely on it. They're still interesting reads, though, if you want one or two links.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:29 PM
2

That's a different debate. You were saying that men can't lose their ability to consent, because they choose to allow rape to happen to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:19 PM
4

Yeah, it's more of a schism in pop feminism rather than in scholarship. The distinction is mostly rooted in whether it's okay (liberal feminism) to work within the current structure of society (i.e., passing laws, encouraging visibility, getting people elected) or not (radical), and efforts should be focused on starting fresh because the current structure of society itself is too biased to be saved. Though there are also a few unrelated views that seem to follow this divide, like how much people…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:15 PM
2

If you coerce someone into making a decision, they still consented. If I coerce someone into giving me money (say through the threat of releasing damaging information), did they consent to it if they give it to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 05:03 PM
1

I'm sorry, how do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 04:59 PM
2

So, do you think that blackmail and extortion shouldn't be crimes? After all, they're given a choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 04:54 PM
2

See, there is your flawed logic. Humans tend to disregard red flags because they trust people, which is part of what makes the betrayal of that trust all the worse. For example, you can't stop being drugged when you've already finished a drink, and the amount of time you have to get help can too small to matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 04:51 PM
4

FYI (and I'll edit my comment to clarify), by "institutions" I don't mean like the Smithsonian Institute, I mean social institution, a structure that exists through time. Congress, for example. To grab an excerpt from an article on the subject (https://medium.com/athena-talks/my-former-office-in-the-us-senate-found-out-i-was-writing-an-essay-about-workplace-sexism-4f6fa3ca46b8), "In the fun office full of junior and mid-level staff, the women employees eventually came to outnumber the men. In th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 04:48 PM
2

Speaking from personal experience, you're dead wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:41 PM
2

May be? No, will be. The only question is how difficult it will be, from "lose all my friends and surround myself with strangers in a new place" to "give up my entire family and livelihood." And since it's only necessary because of the actions of one person, the distress is that other person's fault, not the victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:39 PM
5

Yeah, specifically a liberal feminist (as opposed to a radical feminist, there's been a schism forming in the movement for a while). I think that a lot of institutions are biased against women or in support of men, and that usually women are better positioned to critique that bias than men. Edit: by "institution" I don't mean like the Smithsonian, I mean like lasting social structures, such as healthcare, education, government, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:36 PM
2

You talk as if one person being such a terrible part of your life that you uproot it all to move somewhere else is an easy thing
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:22 PM
1

Rape can be a quick escalation of abuse, we don't necessarily have time to leave before it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:20 PM
1

Well there isn't much he can do to make it so it didn't happen, and he doesn't seem to be messed up by it, which is the best possible outcome imo. I don't mean to say "no harm, no foul" because he definitely was too young to consent and she was definitely abusing that fact, but if he was able to walk away with only his respect for his aunt damaged i think he should just tell her that what she did was really messed up and continue with his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 03:11 PM
2

Do you have a link the the actual study? I couldn't find it anywhere in the article. Depending on the statistics, it might mean anything from "anyone that hasn't had sex by the time they're 26 will almost certainly never have sex" to "anyone who hasn't had sex by the time they're 26 will almost certainly never have sex before they're 30"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/18 02:33 PM
1

"Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality."- http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/orientation.aspx tab "Is Homosexuality a Mental Disorder?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 08:29 PM
2

Sure, but I have the APA agreeing with me
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 07:07 PM
2

Yeah, the poly stuff in my experience is true. It was mostly the leather stuff that caught my eye.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 07:04 PM
1

Yeah, a little after posting I realized that I knew far fewer gay men than I thought. Still, it's remarkable that what, like 0.5% of the population fits into such a specific pidgeonhole
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 06:48 PM
5

That's... Remarkably specific. Any reason why you came to that conclusion?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 06:14 PM
3

That's mostly the right definition, but homosexuality is considered a normal part of the variation of human sexuality, so it isn't a fetish.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 06:09 PM
2

If men invest less psychologically, then why are suicide rates for men after breakups/divorces so much higher than they are for women? By that logic, losing such a valuable mate should be more devastating to women. Edit: a few seconds after posting this I see what you mean. Yes a male rock star can have more illegitimate children than a female rock star with a hypothetical same level of groupies.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/18 03:35 PM
2

Why is male sexuality valueless to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/18 03:17 PM
2

I don't think the hysteria is necessarily foreign, I think it's actually from the previous dating culture that got replaced very quickly both in the 20s and the 60s. Some groups resisted or got left behind, and now there's a culture clash between the Puritan/Victorian views on dating and the more modern view. Really, it's just your standard traditionalism vs modernism, but along cultural lines rather than generational.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/18 04:25 PM
3

I couldn't find a source on the 2 year stat, but the study I found showed that the women were still interested in the relationship at nearly the same rate when they took the study. Also my relationships tend to not be centered on sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/18 07:52 PM
4

Sure you can read it that way if you want to, but if she had made a complaint about men I would have told her to avoid men if she didn't like them. It wasn't really pertinent though. You're right, you can never really know what a person will do. But if you spend years with a person, through hard times and good times, you can get a pretty good idea if someone is going to screw you over. It takes a long time, though. And while I don't appreciate your condescension, the amount you're reading into m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/18 06:32 PM
6

Fair enough. That being said, the notion stands. If a person doesn't like or trust the other gender, then whatever. Women don't exist just as housemaids, men don't exist just as wage earners. If you're going to marry someone, I would hope that you know them well enough beforehand to know that they won't screw you over.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/18 05:19 PM
7

Dude if you don't like hanging out with women that's fine. Generally people I know get into relationships for companionship, not for a housemaid or source of income. Just date a friend if you ask me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/18 05:05 PM
1

I thought Chads were hypothetical and didn't exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/18 06:11 PM
2

When did I mention feminism? The core of my argument is, "if you treat people poorly for no good reason, you should stop."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 11:48 PM
1

I don't know a single group like what you described, but if they disliked white people because they were white, Can My Children Be Friends With White People? What's going on with America's white people White people: Which side are you on? Yes, they are disliking people purely because they are white.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 09:47 PM
3

Well fyi I'm guessing the answer will be something like "fundamentally different thought processes != very different life experiences"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 09:37 PM
4

I think the first sticking point you and I are going to hit anywhere is that AWALT thing. If you and I just see women as entirely different creatures, any other discussion on gender politics is going to boil down to that point. To be honest, I don't know how to convince you that women are fundamentally the same as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 09:20 PM
2

In college overall it's balanced against men. But in STEM it's balanced heavily against women. Overall breakdown (men/woman) : 0.86 STEM breakdown (men/woman) : 3.00 C. S. Breakdown: (men/woman) : 4.56 I haven't seen where the extra women are coming from, but there should be organizations that encourage men to go there as well, especially if they're as segregated as STEM.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 09:10 PM
3

I think the cause is important context. If there were a black nationalist that encourages violence with support of from 71% to 90% of black voters, I think being wary of black people would be more reasonable than if hip hop intimidated you. And pointing out how a stereotype is brought forward in statistics isn't a dislike of white people because they're white. Finally, I didn't move the goalposts a single inch. I was directly quoting you when you said they were examples of groups "disliking peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:58 PM
3

Huh, yeah I think they should have just gone ahead with the talks, though given that 78% of Github's leadership is male I wonder if there was some gender and race bias that worked its way in anyway, like the high heel affect in orchestra auditions: https://www.theguardian.com/women-in-leadership/2013/oct/14/blind-auditions-orchestras-gender-bias
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:49 PM
7

No offense, but that's one of the weakest arguments I've seen on this sub. You're going to have to be more specific than that, or provide supporting arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:41 PM
3

If you're forming a team to solve a novel problem, having a diversity of experiences in general, not just along racial or gender lines, will improve that team's performance. My favorite example for this is the hilarious case of the "racist" Xbox Kinect. It relies on shadows to calculate people's positions, which is really innovative, but doesn't work when you have black skin. The problem is mitigated by making the room brighter and moving light sources around, and aside from a few crazies on the…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:39 PM
3

I think you made an assumption early on about what makes diversity effective in problem solving. The diversity doesn't explicitly mean racial diversity. It mean experiential diversity. The wider your group's base of experience, the more tools they have at their disposal to tackle a new problem. It can be childhood income, current income, race, gender, sex, age, religion, national origin, first language, or so many other factors. So, to get back to your point, there are things a black woman can b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:33 PM
5

Did you link to the right articles? That's not what I read at all in any of them, and none of those articles were about groups either. The first article was an opinion piece written by a woman about her own racial bias. Which, sure, is racial discrimination. Her distrusting white people in general because she feels threatened by Trump supporters is not the same a a group that "dislikes people because they are white." The second article is an interview about suicide rates in America broken up by …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:15 PM
2

The NFL is the end of a bell curve. I don't think men in general can compete in the NFL either. I think we ultimately agree, though. When choosing someone for a task, their gender shouldn't come into play unless their gender is intrinsic to the task. However, just because women in general are weaker than men in general, doesn't mean a woman couldn't move furniture or be a fireman. And it certainly doesn't mean no women can move furniture or be firemen. And that's the distinction I'm making.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 07:49 PM
6

To be honest, I frequent a lot of very liberal spaces, and I don't see people arguing that standards should be lowered for women specifically. I think the physical standards were lowered because the people in charge thought it was good optics, but I haven't met a single person who actually agreed with it. The closest thing I've seen was in a professional development class when I did a report on the impact of diversity on group problem solving skills. Having a diversity of backgrounds significant…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 07:39 PM
4

I'm sorry, you're going to have to provide a source for that. Google's gender ratio for tech employees is 1:4, women:men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 07:31 PM
3

I actually have a couple: 1) same-gender bonding is important for one's health, mentally and socially. That's why I didn't support making the BSA coed, but I like their solution. And in ways that it's okay for men-only clubs to exist, it's also okay for women-only clubs to exist. So socially, I think some level of separation is good. There are a few stipulations there, like how a lot of men's clubs can foster cronyism that women wouldn't have access too, and vice versa, but that isn't an impossi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 07:28 PM
3

I don't know a single group like what you described, but if they disliked white people because they were white, that would be racial discrimination. I try to reserve "racism" for the sociology definition, which brings how society as a whole treats people by race, but technically that wouldn't be any more wrong than someone saying they "weigh" 100 kg. If you want we could talk about that distinction, but that should be a separate comment chain. It's the difference between "mostly" and "are." Even…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 07:06 PM
5

Oh yeah definitely, unless there's some context that was left out. Even if that statistic were true (and I don't know if it is), both men and women should be screened. Of course, if male and female pedophilia need different methods to be detected you should have different screening processes to reflect that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 06:37 PM
8

I agree that standards shouldn't be loosened just to meet a quota (except in a couple situations), but I mean that if a woman passes the fitness standards for male firefighters, she should be allowed on the team. Because she's demonstrated that she is capable of performing as needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 06:34 PM
4

I'd say that that's unreasonable discrimination. Unless the job is explicitly gendered (for example I wouldn't enjoy a guy stripper as much as I'd enjoy a girl stripper), the statistics of a general population shouldn't affect the hireability of an individual. Maybe the average woman is worse fit to be a construction worker than the average man, but a woman who can do the work shouldn't have difficulty getting a construction position just because she's a woman. On the flipside, standards for wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 06:31 PM
2

That's still a kind of ad hominem, though I guess it would technically be an "ad homine" since you're ascribing it to everyone who hold that position. And I thought we were heading towards the discussion of "can personal opinions be judged morally." Wrt your other questions, those seem like great discussions, and I share your frustration that more people aren't willing to calm down and talk about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 06:26 PM
15

Interesting. Maybe it's more prevalent on TBP subreddit, but I think the distinction is that there's a pattern behind that, and that pattern is the misogyny. For example: -- saying women are different than men vs saying women are substantially different than men, and it affects their value in society. -- setting out examples of women behaving poorly vs setting out examples of women behaving poorly as examples of how women act in general -- men insisting that women stop engaging in said bad behav…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 06:14 PM
6

Generally, a dislike for women as a whole. As for what discrimination I'd say it isn't hard to distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable discrimination. Women tend to be weaker then men sure, but you shouldn't say that women can't do [blank] because they're weaker than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:50 PM
8

Or maybe your definition is too narrow. You tried to undermine my argument by saying that I was immature. And if you aren't interested in having an argument, then what are you doing on a debate sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:39 PM
14

It's very possible to be frustrated and angry without going misogynistic. That's what a lot of comments here are saying. It's not the anger or frustration people have a problem with, it's that they're using them to justify directing those feelings at all (or at least the vast majority of) women. That isn't right, and the misogyny isn't coming from the anger.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:33 PM
1

Oh, I see. Fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:29 PM
6

It's possible to be frustrated and not misogynistic, though. The frustration might let misogyny shine through, but former doesn't have to cause the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:26 PM
12

No one needs to justify anything to me personally, but the instant it starts degrading how they treat people, it's no longer just their own business. Good job going right to the ad hominems, by the way. I like when people know their arguments can't stand on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:24 PM
11

Does some women being cunt justify hating the lot of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:08 PM
12

There is an ancient Roman phrase, "In wine, in anger, and in little children, you can hear the truth." When people say things they didn't mean to, like when they're mad or drunk, it's not that they're lying, it's that they aren't lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 05:04 PM
2

It's not a personal bias, it's what society agrees the phase means. When you say it, that's how most people will interpret it, like "she had it coming." In any case, I'm still arguing against your point. There are ways to tell if a woman likely wants to be approached at a bar. However, that does not mean she wants to be harassed or raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 03:27 PM
2

But harassment and rape are different from approaching a woman in a bar. The term "asking for it" has a specific, strong connotation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 03:15 PM
1

Literally the first rule for CMVs: "you must personally hold the belief." At the very least, you should have indicated that it was a thought experiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 03:13 PM
1

In general, you should use language that avoids misunderstanding. Don't be surprised if you have to clarify that in every discussion, just like how I'd need to clarify that I'm using the word "red" to mean "blue" whenever I call the sky "red." So if you say that a woman is "asking for it" don't be surprised if most people interpret that as a declaration of intent to rape or harass her. Otherwise yes, I'm arguing that women can and do communicate nonverbally that they want men to approach them. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 03:10 PM
2

So basically, you're arguing in bad faith? I thought you were just arguing from a position of crippling self-doubt
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 03:01 PM
1

Well, 1) When people say "she was asking for it," "it" means "be raped," and they're trying to justify ignoring her telling them no. You don't really want to use that term to describe women who are trying to show that they want men to approach them. 2) It's okay if bars and clubs aren't your scene, but that's where people go to hook up. You might be able to drop in on a game in like your local card shop or hit up a conversation at the gym, but they won't be looking for people to hook up with, ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 02:54 PM
1

When people say that a woman "asked for it," and then complained, they're talking about rape and harassment, not a cheap pickup line or an interrupted conversation. And clothing isn't as important as body language and location. Compare two people: someone walking home at night, looking at their phone, wearing short shorts and a low-cut top, vs. Someone wearing a hoodie, talking loudly, at a bar. Which do you think would be more likely to want someone to approach them and strike up/join in a conv…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 02:31 PM
5

1) Utilitarianism is too simple to use as an ethics system. Kantianism avoids several of its issues, if you aren't going to try to combine systems. 2) In general, approaching a woman is unethical, however there are locales where women go to be approached, and it's possible to approach them in such a way that it doesn't cause a lot of discomfort. If you approach a woman in a place where people go intending to meet new people, and approach her in a way where she can easily say no, your risk of inc…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 02:15 PM
2

Creepy isn't just discomfort, it's discomfort with an undertone of fear, usually with a predatory connotation. So you're right, I only mentioned reasons why the relationship is a bad idea. What makes it creepy is that Demi should know this, having 16-22 years of dating experience. It's excusable for Ashton, who has only been dating at most 6 (and almost all of that in high school), to not know these issues, but Demi? So if Demi knows these issues, but she decided to date someone nearly half her …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 11:56 AM
1

They can be attracted yes, but there comes a point where the gulf is too wide for a relationship to be healthy. Like for example, 18 years as an adult vs 2.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 11:29 AM
3

You definitely can gauge maturity based on age. While 20-year-olds can widely vary in maturity, they cannot be as mature as a 36-year-old simply because of experience: one person can not mature by 18 years in 2. And if Demi were only as mature as a 20-year-old in her mid-30s she should work on growing up instead of dating at all. Even if Ashton pursued Demi, they shouldn't have dated and Demi should have known not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 07:15 PM
3

Even if she did, his emotional maturity would be a more direct issue in how they interact. There's maturity tension between me and my friends that haven't graduated college yet, and relationships between someone in their upper 20s and lower 20s are strained by what people are capable and willing to give emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 06:26 PM
7

He might be old enough to die in war, but he's only been an adult for 1/10 of his life. Demi's been an adult for half of her life. The difference in experience is huge. Apart from an emotional maturity issue, Demi has a lot more power, economic and social, than Ashton, which will impact their dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 05:44 PM
1

Nah, her sex drive woke up before we started doing sexy things. She was the one that initiated, I wasn't about to ask her to do something that was uncomfortable. And she doesn't have any past traumas, and while she has a minor mental disorder, it didn't start getting treated until long after we started having sex. And is dead bedroom really a problem from women with low sex drives in specific, or just married couples in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 05:38 PM
2

Well you can't know for certain what another person is thinking, but it's apparent how much someone cares about you in a relationship. How much do they care about how your day went? How much time to they spend empathizing with your problems? Also, we should self-regulate when we're in a relationship to make sure our relationships our healthy, or that we're entering one for healthy reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 05:32 PM
2

It's one of them, but mental/emotional connection is also important, as well as empathy. And all three of those can be developed over time. My current relationship was with someone who originally identified as ace (no sex drive), and we've been dating for longer than all my other relationships combined. We clicked on a mental level, and the physical attraction came up over time. To be honest, her identifying as ace probably led to our stability. We explored sex slowly and carefully, making sure …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:42 PM
2

Sorry, maybe I misinterpreted, but was singing your response asking why people should eliminate shallowness?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:37 PM
2

Shallow describes the (lack of) emotional "depth" of a relationship or person, where "depth" is hard to explicitly define, but generally refers to how involved in and aware of someone's emotions a person is. If someone is shallow, they're only involved in the physical, and don't concern themselves with emotions, except maybe for instantaneous feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:36 PM
2

Because it leads to unhappy and unhealthy relationships- paving over deep personal issues with physical attraction doesn't make them go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:28 PM
2

That it doesn't describe anything real, that it's meaningless. Some people misuse the word, but that doesn't mean it has no correct use.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:25 PM
4

I disagree. Letting physical attraction overshadow deeper issues leads to unhealthy and unstable relationships. People should actively avoid them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 04:23 PM
10

I don't know what the makeup of incels is, bp-vs-rp, but I would not be surprised if there were a lot of them in feminist spaces. Anxiety and depression manifest everywhere, and they can use any justification to avoid the anxiety of approaching attractive people. The only difference is if that anxiety leads to you worshipping women or hating them. Sometimes I wonder if this is connected at all to the surge in video games. I'm no Luddite, but I wouldn't be surprised if spending a lot of time in w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/18 06:49 PM
3

It kind of reminds me of when the air force tried to make a cockpit for the "average" pilot: they took dozens of measurements of hundreds or thousands of people, took the average, and built a cockpit that would be comfortable for the "average" pilot. It fit absolutely no one, because everyone is abnormal in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 03:48 PM
1

Traditional masculinity, or my personal definition of masculinity? Because, in my experience, traditional masculinity is much more restrictive and unhealthy, but has a much wider impact than my personal definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 03:26 PM
3

I was going to comment that two of my female friends have traditionally masculine traits (one is much more outgoing and less emotional than her boyfriend, the other loves working with power tools, and both have very strong wills), but then I realized that both have ADHD, which is also associated with developmental differences, so they probably don't count as "normal" either, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 02:07 PM
4

If there's one thing that kept my boyfriend and me together all these years, it would be communication. We agreed that we wouldn't let any issue fester, but bring it up as soon as possible to get it resolved as fast as possible. Of course, that also requires listening and believing your partner, but imo that should happen anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 01:41 PM
3

We were just raised by parents that told us it was okay to feel, and we're critical thinkers. When we met in college, we realized that lots of masculinity was bs, and ignored the parts we didn't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 12:31 AM
2

Classically, yeah. But most of my friends have avoided the toxic parts of American masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 11:33 PM
4

Yeah, I'm about 8 inches taller, 50 lbs heavier, and have 10 years of martial arts under my belt. I'm the one that goes after the bats.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 08:52 PM
6

That hasn't been my experience. Everyone has insecurities, and being confident in your abilities and strengths is an attractive trait all around. Actually, now that I think about it, I guess it's classically a generally masculine trait, but in my social circles it isn't. Maybe because it's usually the men who approach women in classic dating roles, and confidence is a good selling tool?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 08:19 PM
9

I'm definitely a more feminine guy than most, but I've found that acting confident usually works better than dominant when chasing the kind of people I like. When I show that I have emotions and self-control, it generally makes people trust me more, which helps them act on the attraction they feel, instead of feeling a ton of lust. Also usually the girls I've slept with are more submissive than the guys, but only in bed. Outside of sexual encounters the girls tend to like to be in control of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 08:03 PM
2

I agree. I got over my jealousy and envy when I made peace with that every relationship between two people is going to be unique. If I have a crush on a girl in a relationship, wanting the relationship she has with her boyfriend is a fool's errand because I'm not her boyfriend and I don't have his personality or sense of humor. All I can do is try to be the person that would have the type of relationship I like with the type of person I want to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 09:24 PM
4

Try to find some girls you can be friends with. Even if your looks help you make friends, making personal connections through common interests helps you know someone as a person. Also, a good exercise in general is to see if you can talk about yourself as little as possible. Don't try to be aloof or whatever, just let the other person control the conversation and keep the focus on their interests and experiences. You can throw in when you agree or disagree, but see if you can avoid saying "I" or…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 09:17 PM
0

I agree that they aren't for everyone (though I think a lot of the values, such as bringing up issues as soon as possible and communicating truthfully, would help a lot of people), but for couples that are already dating despite having such a strong difference in sex drive, they probably already don't see sex as big deal, either because one has an unusually high drive or the other is unusually low. Also, I think that's the best description I've ever heard of my very poly friends, lol. Similarly …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 07:45 PM
0

Well in the overall population? Definitely, most people wouldn't be happy. However, the type of people who need to solve this problem wouldn't be the overall population: they'd be people who already don't base their relationships off of sex. Maybe no one gets her like he does, maybe she really is one in a billion and you couldn't hope to find a better match for you personality-wise. The couple I know of does this because the girlfriend has a really hyperactive sex drive and the guy is fairly bel…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 07:32 PM
3

Opening up the relationship is a fairly common solution for a couple with vastly different sex drives, from what I've heard. The high-drive partner gets their sexual tension out, and the low-rise partner doesn't feel like they're depriving their loved one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 07:04 PM
7

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Polyamory isn't for everyone, but it definitely doesn't have to be a raw deal for the men. Most of the men I know in an open relationship get about as much as their girlfriends, or don't have the sex drive to match them. The other two are dating each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 07:02 PM
3

If there's one thing I learned from having polyamorous friends, it's that communication is way more important than people usually think. In polyamory, this is extra important. If one side is uncomfortable, that needs to be talked about. The wife in your story sounds hypocritical, and she should talk out her anxiety with her husband. Why is she unhappy about him sleeping with someone else, when she's okay with herself sleeping with others? I don't know a single polyamorous relationship that's tru…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 06:25 PM
1

I also have a girlfriend. I've been dating her for three years at this point. And I got that talk about how men act how men think women like from her and her friends, who were complaining that most men are trying to be something most women don't find attractive. For example, they care more about personality than physique. But yes, I've been dating someone for three years now. She knows about the other four. She's joined in with three of them. I started dating her the same way I started hooking u…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/18 12:00 AM
1

That's a circular argument. Women don't find emotional men attractive because they don't find emotional men attractive? Also is that your only argument, men in our society are stoic so that must be what women want? Men learn to be stoic from society and media. Media is largely written and directed by men, so what we're seeing is largely a projection of what men think men should be like, or what men think women like.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 09:33 PM
1

Funny, because my experience is the exact opposite. Also men are stoic because society tells them that feeling "weak" feelings makes them less masculine. Testosterone dulls emotions slightly, but nowhere near what people expect. Lot of women love a man who's in touch with his emotions, knows how to deal with them, and is mature enough to rely on people when he needs it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 09:12 PM
1

Lol, whatever it is they end up saying. I'm pretty sure they found me attractive for the reasons I said, and in that case it would sound like they were backing me up. That last part is more of a reason to find empathetic men attractive in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 08:47 PM
2

Well, before I actually ask, since I'm kind of curious myself anyways, would you actually believe me if I told you what they said? I don't have image editing software on my phone so I can't post screenshots
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 08:17 PM
2

Well the last thing I'll throw out before resorting to actually asking a couple of them, is this: selfless lovers give better sex, especially for someone who can cum multiple times
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 07:58 PM
5

That hasn't been my experience at all. Being a caring, emotional guy isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's definitely why I have so many partners atm. Even if the market for aloof, sarcastic semi-jerks is larger, it's much more crowded.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 07:45 PM
8

Usually it helps to listen to them rant about how their pants don't have pockets
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 06:21 PM
3

I don't friendzone myself, I make friends with them. That in and of itself is good enough for me. Since I don't pressure them or anything, they learn they can trust me. Since they can trust me, they open up emotionally. Some people find emotional support attractive, especially when it's coming from a gender they're attracted to. That's also why I usually don't end up dating them. They aren't interest in me romantically, but sex is fun and they know that I won't betray that trust or look for some…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 06:16 PM
1

Nah, they were all over the place. Most were in my range, but there was a swimmer and a marathon runner in that group, as well as a ROTC girl and two that just stayed in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 06:04 PM
3

Lol, at the risk of saying that I'm lying, I do and I am. I don't look for sex from girls when I meet them, so I generally have a good amount of girl friends. But since I talk to them as equals and don't make any moves, while staying emotionally available, some of them, about 1 in 4, do get attracted to me. I've dated 4 people in the 5 years since I finished high school, and hooked up with 4 people outside of a romantic relationship, with 2 others expressing interest but it never going anywhere.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/18 04:29 PM
1

When I said, "her marriage," I meant the RPW you brought up. I stand by using "simply." Taking care of a house can be a full-time job just as hard as an office job. If someone does it well, they should be recognized for that, not told that they still owe their husband regardless. It's simple because it doesn't take into account what the wife contributes. It's not money, so it's worthless. By your definition of thought-policing, the RP does it as well when it tells me that my thoughts are wrong, …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 08:03 PM
1

I agree. Men's gender roles have gotten a lot more oppressive in the last 70 years, at least in some ways. (as an aside, the first child development study to include fathers at all was in the '70s!) Unfortunately, feminism is not well equipped to deal with men's lib, so to speak. Women are far more free than they were even 30 years ago, but biases and assumptions still exist, if you know where to look for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 07:45 PM
1

But if a feminist says that her marriage would be healthier if she didn't see herself as in debt to her husband simply for staying home, that would be thought policing?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 07:39 PM
1

Her choice to believe what other people should believe? Feminism supports people making their own choice, so thinking that other people should change their beliefs to match yours cannot fit. Hence the tolerance paradox.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 07:26 PM
1

Yeah, okay. Keep arguing in bad faith and abusing the tolerance paradox.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 06:54 PM
1

She also ends with If you are a SAHM you had better get that house cleaned, food cooked, kid fed and dressed and be attentive to the man who has literally paid for the food you eat, the clothes on your back, and the roof over your head. Society will tell this woman she is equal to her husband. No she is not. She is a dependent, and as a dependent she owes him some thanks. So it's not just a personal preference, it's her view on how all SAHMs should see themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 06:46 PM
1

Because she's not just choosing to be subservient to him, she's saying that wives are necessarily inferior to husbands. It's not just that she doesn't value her own housework and feels indentured to her husband, she feels that all wives are. Since she feels that wives, and by extension women, belong in a submissive role compared to men, she isn't freely choosing to be subservient. She doesn't see any other valid options.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 06:09 PM
2

I see. I was trying to relate and separate the difference between sexual preferences and dating preferences in my original comment, but maybe that was too off-topic. Feminists feel awkward in a position that perpetuates gender stereotypes because it's very easy to emotionally see them as the enemy and classify them as "bad." However, the intellectual understanding in most feminist circles is that those roles have been weakened enough that you can enjoy being put and putting yourself in those pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 05:31 PM
2

Sure, but that trope is old and kind of a good example of how people didn't communicate well in the past. I haven't seen any younger married couples yet, but in gf/bf relationships that's usually used as an opening to a conversation where they come to an agreement on where to go, instead of passive-aggressively asking someone else to make the decision for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 05:21 PM
3

I guess it's technically unfeminist because she's relying on and intentionally playing up old gender roles. But the bigger moral issue is that she's doing that to get a free meal when her date thinks she's into him romantically. Yes, the RP view of a SAHM is unfeminist, I don't see how that's shocking. Wives shouldn't by default see their husbands as their superior or leader, they should see them as their partner, and work as a team. A SAHM can be a feminist ideal, even, if the two treat each ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 05:17 PM
6

I read that as her feeling bad because it was manipulative, not because it was un-feminist. A lot of feminist rhetoric for a long time was about breaking free of old gender roles. However, gender roles aren't as oppressive any more, so there's a swing in the movement that's saying that those traditional things are okay, as long as they don't supplant women's independence again. Kind of like if there was an Overwatch hero that was really OP and unfun to play against that got nerfed back to a fun …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 04:08 PM
2

Maybe my experiences are a statistical anomaly, but most women I know only like normal circumstances turning sexual under certain conditions. Yes most of them have submissive sexual fantasies, but they don't like the idea of that fantasy bleeding into real life. When it comes to dating, it depends on what kind of relationship you're going for. A one-night stand? Sure, they might like being submissive the whole time, because the whole encounter is sexual. But for anything long-term, you need to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 03:24 PM
5

women are herd animals who employ the tactic of build consensus - > shame -> ostracize to get what they want Yep, no ideology here, 100% observations
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/18 04:24 PM
2

Ehh, I'm not sure that the scientific community has always been willing elevate a woman's name over a man's name when it comes to STEM advances, and I'm not sure that society in general has been equally supportive of women's and men's STEM pursuits. You have to take that into account when you point out men dominating STEM advancement.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/18 04:20 PM
2

I mean that's true, and that is a problem, since we should have more men in humanities. There's still a serious lack of women in STEM, though, which implies that careers are staying gender-segregated. When it comes to claims I want him to back up, how about: lots of bullshit percentages women are herd animals who employ the tactic of build consensus - > shame -> ostracize to get what they want most female gamers just play candycrush, and are included to pump up the numbers 77% Wage Gap Myth Rand…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/18 04:11 PM
5

And yet could couldn't be bothered to put in a single link supporting that point
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/18 03:07 PM
1

Like the guy in the "it doesn't get better" video, but his life kept improving after high school. Because life is like a continuation of high school, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/18 09:35 PM
0

Beautiful. This is true art. Also, you're right. Europe hit a huge prude swing in the 1600s that it only really recovered from during the sexual revolution of the 1960s. I think a good indicator of the prudishness of a society is how many lines of Catullus 16, "Pedicabo ego vos etc irrumabo," first translated in its entirety in the 1990s iirc. In English it is titled, "I will sodomize and face-fuck you."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/18 08:23 PM
3

I've never been able to really convince someone who thinks that everyone is inherently selfish otherwise. To answer your question, my partners usually give what I give: emotional and financial support, someone to hang out with and enjoy life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 08:49 PM
5

Because you will die if you do not eat. And you just agreed with me! Almost everyone eats multiple times a day! The sheer accessibility of food makes it easier to reach immediate gratification than with sex, which is the more important factor in fighting against habitual and addictive overeating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:48 PM
4

You can go for three years without sex. In fact, most people have spent at least 14 years of their lives contiguously without it. You can't go for three to 14 years without food. Also tinder doesn't just magically get you sex. Even if you're hot enough to get a match same-day you still need to set up the time and place to hook up, get dressed and prepared for it, wait for the time, and go to the place. Plenty more time for someone's shame to push them to cancel than just driving to McDonald's or…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:39 PM
3

That's always been my argument. I guess I was distracted when I didn't specify that fast food joints are enabling overeating, sorry for not being clear. Still, it takes more time and effort for people to get sex than it does for people to get food. Also food has a stronger draw to it than sex. You can't and shouldn't abstain from eating, which is part of what makes dieting so difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:26 PM
5

Those two aren't the same. I was comparing getting sex to getting food. It's much easier to get too much food than it is to get too much sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:18 PM
4

Sure, but that has a huge selection bias. You aren't going to see people posting stories about how fat-shaming makes them give up further on losing weight at the same rate as people posting hopeful stories. Slut-shaming is more effective because there are fewer enablers of heavy sleeping around than there are of overeating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:14 PM
5

Well yeah. With something like eating, making someone feel worse about themselves won't necessarily change their behavior, especially if eating is a stress-reliever for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 04:55 PM
3

I mean, we could find out by reading the studies
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 10:13 PM
3

Makes sense to me. It's also pretty easy to justify with bs evolutionary psychology: men continue to be fertile while their partner is pregnant, and it's easier to hide an illegitimate pregnancy when you're the one that doesn't get pregnant. In either case, the more promiscuous male is the one that produce more children, as opposed to a cheating woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 10:06 PM
2

So your definition of being alpha includes being powerful? That would make it pretty hard to find anyone that is both alpha and not powerful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:25 AM
1

What, you think there aren't any virgins turned off by the bad boy type? What's your virginity count? (not to mention sex with experienced partners is better)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/18 06:57 PM
7

Nah, relationships with assholes aren't happy anyway. Most of the women I knew in college were over the romance of "bad boys" and were looking for guys they would actually be happy with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/18 03:05 PM
1

The terminology is asymmetrical because society is asymmetrical. The best example is the idea of a "man-card" from middle school. Is there any set of actions women can do that would revoke their "woman-card" because they're no longer a "real" woman? Not in the same way men can lose their "man-card." And what are those things men can do to lose their man-card: showing weakness, asking for help, dealing with a wide spectrum of emotions. This blocking of men's emotions does terrible damage to our p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 09:47 PM
11

Women's sex drives are much lower then men's. It's a comment I've heard a lot from trans people who started hormone therapy: the trans guys feel like they've been hit with the horny bus, and start finding a lot of their friends attractive in ways they didn't feel before. Trans women, on the other hand, feel like their sex drive pulled the handbrake and basically shut down for a few months or weeks before returning at a much lower level, and with a lot more restrictions. Case in point, about 80% …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/18 03:56 PM
13

Aren't "cheating" dating sites inundated with men?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/18 03:50 PM
6

I'd need more information their their occupation if I'm dropping my kid off with anyone tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/18 02:40 PM
2

I haven't asked someone in middle age if they find sex as fulfilling now as when they were in their twenties, but a friend of mine in an open relationship has told me that her boyfriend gives her the best sex because he has the most experience with how she specifically likes it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/18 04:37 PM
1

Well, there's a couple of different styles. There's the open style, where you have a primary you're in a relationship with, but can hook up with other people casually. My girlfriend and I do that. However, there's another kind where you can have multiple romantic relationships. It's a bit risky since people can get jealous, but with a healthy amount of communication, talking and listening about each other's insecurities and feelings, you can happily date multiple people, and date people who are …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 04:01 PM
1

I meant with respect to finding someone better. Improving your sex appeal will only do so much to protect you from cheating if you stay emotionally distant. I guess we agree in that sense, especially with the difference between husband and wife and fuck buddies. Maybe I haven't heard of plate-spinning properly, but I always thought that it involved your plates not knowing about each other? At least in the polyamory community, that's the difference between being poly and cheating: all of your par…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 02:54 PM
0

With sheer sex, I can understand that. But generally, we should be able to offer our partners something a rando on the street cannot: emotional support, a meaningful connection. Hell, a lot of people in my age bracket go poly because they know that their relationship is held together by much more than sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 01:09 PM
3

Purely sexually, being kind with no return expected has netted me a ton of partners. It's also gotten me a lot of friends and emotional support. Eusociality is the bomb.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:53 AM
4

They're turning the frogs trans!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:14 AM
2

We sexually separate in the first trimester, but the brain doesn't develop until way later. A change in environment could conceivably cause one to develop one way and the other to develop the other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:56 AM
4

Have you seen Contra's video on autogynophilia? It's not really the reason why people are trans. Gender comes from a brain structure. It isn't chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:53 AM
7

That's what I think, too. Remember during the inauguration, when she only smiled while he had turned around to check on her? Or when he left her at the car when the Obama's met them. I mean, their marriage is what you would expect from a marriage with a narcissist. I don't think she's happy. Apparently she cried when he won, and not tears of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:06 AM
1

I asked a female friend of mine who gives good dating advice, and she said, "Whoa ok he’s cute wtf "The most important thing would be to approach women like non-threateningly. Smile, get their attention before speaking to/touching them, say something nice, and if she doesn’t wanna talk beyond that, respect that and move on. "Bc if he keeps doing that, then he will eventually come across someone who does wanna talk more. "If she says something more than just like “Thank you” to a compliment, ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 08:56 PM
3

It might just be anxiety? Acting more awkward can make people feel creeped, sadly. And if you ever go to a gig, "I'm a part of the band/I'm their producer" is a great icebreaker. While the band's playing, look to see if any girl is paying attention, and go with them first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:26 PM
1

Nah, I get it. Cold-calling is horrible, and if you're self-conscious that hurdle is even higher. What are your interests, or hobbies? Do you think a dancing club would interest you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:22 PM
5

As someone who just graduated from college, I'm having trouble with this too. My go-to for making friends is clubs, but out in the sticks where I am there aren't really any, even on MeetUp. If I can find somewhere to hang out, though, developing a friendship first helps with stability. Asking women friends out on its own isn't creepy as long as you're okay with the possibility of rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:16 PM
1

"it is important to note that the medical classification of overweight does not necessarily map onto social perceptions of overweight. For example, George W. Bush was medically classified as overweight during his presidency, but few people would perceive him as overweight." Very next sentence, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 04:13 PM
1

Source.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 03:19 PM
3

Dude, that isn't normal, that's emotional abuse. You shouldn't have to fight for dominance, and you shouldn't have to hide your weakness from your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 02:10 PM
4

Most of the women I've slept with were actually switches (liked both dominating and being dominated) but defaulted to being the sub because it's the lower-energy role, and men were happy to be the dom. I think the larger driver in real-world encounters is that men aren't as comfortable giving up their power as women are. Being the dom is comfortable, it feels nice to have your will be the end-all, be-all for once. It's empowering. Being the sub means giving up even more control, and many men don…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 05:06 PM
9

Some maybe, but a testosterone-fueled sex drive is much more active than an estrogen-fueled one. Transgender friends of mine that went on T described it like getting hit by a truck. Also, do women get sex more often than men? With who, if all these men aren't getting any? The population is nearly 50/50, and I'm pretty sure gay sex isn't statistically significant. I don't see how hitting on women is any worse than being hit on. One has to come up with the courage to ask them out, the other has to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 02:17 PM
2

I haven't heard those arguments before. How is the school system biased? Is it that sports tend to encourage men to pursue more unrealistic career goals, hurting their job prospects in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 02:10 PM
5

Which has the larger impact on the world: Ghengis Khan's empire, or China?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 02:06 PM
1

Again, also a good question, but your survey will be biased towards the make-up of people who use reddit. If you compare redpillers' makeup to bluepillers' makeup, you can control for how the population of this sub is skewed and make comparisons between bp'rs and rp'rs as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 08:00 PM
2

I feel like these questions would fit I that survey the sub holds every once in a while. The answers you get here won't really mean anything until you compare it to the stats for other ideologies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:31 PM
1

I think the term is, "extroverted feeler"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 09:51 PM
3

You're in stage 1 nihilism. It's hard, knowing that, no matter what you do, your name will be forgotten and your memory and actions will wash away like footprints on the beach. Honestly, deep emotional connections are the only thing that cures my nihilistic depression. Once you meet people, get to know them, and have fun with them, the fact that it's all transient doesn't seem so bad. If rationally nothing matters, then value things irrationally. Honestly, modern society makes it much easier to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 08:25 PM
2

Keep it off most of the time. It can be so distracting if someone I'm talking to is really attractive, which happens a lot because if have a pretty low bar. My chances of sleeping with them are zilch for like 95% of them, so it only really gets in the way
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 08:18 PM
1

When did you decide to stop giving a fuck? What made you make that decision?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 03:49 PM
2

What happened?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 02:39 PM
16

They want a simple answer to people. Simple rules, a checklist or an algorithm to follow. Their mistake is that every single person in the world is a fully complicated human being and simple rules can't adequately describe them. I wonder if the people that really believe AWALT are stuck in their own bubble where the only women their rules get them to interact with are the ones as manipulative as them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 02:38 PM
1

I'd like to point out that r/ladyboners is very different content (like level of nudity) than say r/gonewild or r/deepfakes. There's a lot more style and status built into those images than in pictures for men's enjoyment
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 04:48 PM
1

That's interesting. Have you noticed any other changes? I mean, they happen at a second rate for everyone, but most trans people I know had significant changes in attraction after six months. The one that had the least amount of mental changes was also the one that was least affected physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 03:09 PM
6

There's actually a lot of studies on this. There is a cluster of nerves between the frontal and parietal lobe, if I remember correctly, that is 4 times larger in people who say they are women than in people who say they are men. There are some other differences that show up in brain scans that suggest it's a system throughout the brain. Also, the story of David Reimer, a boy who was given SRS after a botched circumcision as an infant and failed to identify as a girl despite being raised and such…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 01:26 AM
2

Kind of. At least in my area, they said that being trans wasn't the disease, but dysphoria was. People that transition are still trans, but they no longer feel dysphoric. That way you avoid people saying, "it's all in your head. "
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 12:42 AM
4

It's not an either/or, but if you're deciding whether or not schizophrenia is real you might want to listen to some accounts of people claiming to have schizophrenia, and some psychologists that have studied it
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 12:06 AM
3

Really? Because usually it's the other way around. Unless you aren't getting your info from trans people of course
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 11:47 PM
1

Great, then you should watch the video from the beginning. The person that founded that idea founded it on bad science. I can get into a stronger explanation in a bit when I'm done with my commute.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 10:33 PM
3

Yeah sure! On of my best friends has given a few talks on "consensual non-consent," so I was just asking him for resources. r/BDSM is a good resource specifically this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/51an0g/consensual_nonconsent_the_hint_is_in_the_first/d7aklp7 Basically you need to trust your partner a lot and have good communication with them. BDSM actually stands for 6 words, Bondage, [something that starts with D], Domination, Submission, sadism, and masochism. It can g…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 10:32 PM
4

Did you watch the video? I just ask because it seems like you commented pretty quickly after I posted it. Contra (the speaker) gives a couple arguments against it. For example, wanting to have sex as a woman is what cis women do, too. Also, women tend to be turned on more by being the object of desire than men do (she gives evidence to this in the video), and that's a change she noticed in herself after going on hormones.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 09:56 PM
1

So what, you say they're autogynophiles? (that means that they're doing it as a kink)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 09:49 PM
6

Number 3 is the topic of pretty intense discussion in BDSM circles. Usually what happens is the person that wants to play being ravaged (to keep "rape"'s negative connotation) gives their partner explicit rules ahead of time for what is too much and when it isn't the right time, and they have a way to indicate that they actually don't want it right now. Number 4 is also an interesting topic. I think that both partners always have the right to say now, even in marriage. However, it's possible to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 09:48 PM
1

Really? Because I've only found supporting studies online.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 11:20 PM
5

The US went to the moon atop phallic rockets. Take that, the matriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 10:24 PM
2

I agree. I think women are superior because I like looking at them more. That's a bad metric to use, but a metric nonetheless. Interestingly, some studies have found that your intellectual performance- i.e. test scores and chess games- can vary greatly depending on what stereotypes you're reminded of while taking that test. Asian women tended to do better when they took race surveys before taking a test and worse when they took a gender survey before the test, as compared to a baseline where the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 10:23 PM
0

The least biased person I know of is Shaun. He openly holds personal opinions, but his points are fact-based and he tries to limit his opinions to snide remarks. As for gender differences, I suggest this video: https://youtu.be/-9xmpikmsBI do you have a link for the video you were talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 10:15 PM
1

My partner and I share the cleaning evenly. It makes sense since we both work, and if one of us feels like the other isn't pulling their weight, we're allowed to complain. I've never heard someone say that cleaning a house is especially hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 09:05 PM
3

You can sum anyone up in a stereotype if you only talk to them for 10-30 minutes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 05:26 PM
2

I credit that game as almost the entire reason why I aced my orbital mechanics classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 05:23 PM
17

Makes sense to me. I've felt the pull of video game addiction. The only thing that really stopped me from falling down that rabbithole is my extroversion. No video game can ever really replace human-human interaction. Lots of my friends have been hit harder. Sure they weren't social to begin with, but by diving into single player or multiplayer-online video games, they lost chances to get better at interacting with people. I think that's why board games, especially pro-social board games are on …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 03:46 PM
5

Well I'm so glad that your time on this sub gives you maximum pleasure
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 03:39 PM
4

I've been realizing this more and more. I tend to like sandboxes for that reason, so that I can point at the screen and say, "I did this," but I'm starting to realize that there are better hobbies to follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 03:36 PM
0

What country do you live in? The US has been stuck in the longest war of its history. I'd argue that the rise of fps's, especially ones with toxic user bases, teach people antipathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 03:35 PM
8

Within specific contexts, I bet they do. But they also provide an insulating environment that reduces people's readiness for real-world hardship and failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 03:28 PM
3

Usually a gf/wife is a man's only source of emotional support, which is why they tend to fair worse after breakups. For that reason, I'd argue that men get more out of relationships than women. Also, the fact that women tend to be much pickier on dating apps implies that women get less, since they aren't as desperate and can be choosier.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 05:19 PM
1

Related to communication- my relationship is founded on the idea of prompt communication. Neither of us are good at reading between the lines socially, so we agreed to bring up our issues as soon as possible, rather than let them fester. It's really helped us trust each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 07:50 PM
2

I don't know either. Most of my female friends are upfront, at least to me and my friend group. In my opinion, if you can't tell your partner something like that you want to leave a party or you don't want them to do something, your relationship is worryingly weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 07:30 PM
17

Well, how have inflatable sex dolls change the dating scene? Part of the prestige of hooking up is that your partner decided to hook up with you. Sexbots are doing to develop the same stigma as sex dolls, and stay on the fringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/18 09:45 PM
3

Not really. If they only wanted the women around to have sex with, they would have stopped hanging out after they found one to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 11:23 PM
7

Actually, wars were a lot more brutal in ancient history. The first "war" we can find killed off 90% of the losing side's male population.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 08:09 PM
1

I don't see that anywhere in this thread or the original post
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 05:30 PM
3

Where are you getting that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 05:21 PM
8

Not really, I guess my main point is that I don't know what a "feminine personality" is
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 05:16 PM
8

I went to an engineering college so maybe my experience is skewed, but I haven't seen this "feminine personality" very often. Lots of my girl friends liked doing traditionally feminine things like makeup and shopping, but they also just liked what I did: nerdy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 04:51 PM
2

You're conflating rules and lies. Rules are standard ways to interact, like for example debating on this sub in good faith, but they aren't lies, for example the idea that the members of this sub is a good sample of the sides they represent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 04:01 PM
15

I wouldn't use this sub as a good example of the general population. Almost every guy friend I had in college had lots of platonic girl friends. Many of them ended up dating one of them or another sure, but somehow managed to stay friends with the others.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 03:36 PM
8

My misery was cut out when I let go of the notion that a man can't be happy in a friendship with a woman. Once I stopped looking for a chance to make a move, I started enjoying myself more. I made a ton of friends, guy and girl, and many of the girls liked that they did have to worry about me looking for something more than a friendship. Also, dropping the ulterior motives actually did more for my dating life than anything else I could have done. Of the six people I've dated/slept with, I only a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 03:28 PM
21

I agree that there a a few polite lies that help society run more smoothly, but the idea that guys can only be friends with a woman if he wants sex from her is pretty immature. The others I agree with, that's why employees get breaks and court cases can ask for a change if locale.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 02:55 PM
2

Probably falls under "is she making my life better," and dumb people aren't necessarily embarrassing to have around. An asshole is an asshole, no matter how smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/18 06:06 PM
12

I don't date people because they're successful, smart, or even physically fit. I date people because I enjoy being around them. Do they make me laugh, can I talk with them for hours, do they enjoy what I enjoy and vice versa? I'm an engineer, so I don't need to worry about dating someone who can support me or even themselves, to a degree. Instead, I want to live with someone who will enrich my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/18 06:04 PM
8

I could see women who are pushed into the business world feeling unfulfilled. I think the better rule would be to teach her to make her own decisions, know her value as a human, and explore her feelings. Being a stay-at-home mother is perfectly feminist as long as she's doing it of her own volition.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/18 09:32 PM
1

Where have you heard that last part? I've never seen, in feminist discussions, complaints about not being looked at. Edit: last, not Las (damn autocorrect)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/18 08:06 PM
1

I accidentally fell in love with a friend because he said he was asexual and I just stopped looking to see if he had developed feelings for me and focused on our friendship. Our relationship has lasted logger than every other relationship I've had combined. Edit: clarity
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/18 04:56 PM
3

Good on you for finding a balance. My boyfriend has the same body image issue. It's tough, but he's worth it, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/18 04:52 PM
3

Right now I'm looking for the really juicy fights between TERFs and intersectional feminists, but that's a good example of two feminist camps that hate each other. Also, fights about sex work. This isn't me dodging the question, just saying that I'm not avoiding you
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 11:41 PM
6

Someone might, say that, sure, but telling a woman complaining about not getting a lot of sex to go for an LTR is not slut-shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 10:09 PM
9

You're misrepresenting their comments. The "why should we care" is in response to the post asking "why don't women care [that nerdy men can't get a lot of sex]?" Also, there are many responses saying that they need to learn from their friends, or settle for an LTR like the majority of people. Just because TRP cares doesn't mean it's right.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 10:03 PM
2

Oh, sorry, it was my mistake. I thought you were defending oneprettycoolcat
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:59 PM
2

Argument in password's favor. Though now that you're saying that only incels believe in lookism, I don't see why you disagree with password saying that physical attractiveness can't counteract boorishness.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:52 PM
7

Well you're conflating BPers and feminists. Most feminist friends I've talked to had never hear of the "Blue Pill" until I mentioned it to them, though they immediately took the BP side. If it were more widely known I think you could compare the two. And I'm working on a direct response to your post on my own, but I have to say, having just skimmed through TRP there's a lot of...well I wouldn't say entitlement, but manipulation bordering on emotional abuse/negligence. Once I have enough evidence…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:48 PM
2

If anything, that's an argument in their favor. They're saying that being physically good looking helps, but doesn't drive, overall attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:37 PM
6

That's because people take the "Blue Pill" position only in response to learning about the Red Pill. If you're talking about feminist discourse, in my experience feminists tend to have much more debate and in-depth discussions than red pillers, and tend to use more evidence in their discussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:35 PM
3

Higher average? How does that work? I'm pretty sure male-male sex isn't that common...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 08:13 PM
1

From what I've learned on this sub, RP is about how to appeal to the largest single group of women. It's not a complete worldview, but instead it's focused on that one goal. Hence disregarding social issues and how LGBT people factor into the dating pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 06:47 PM
2

Colonialism, played a big part. Many non-European societies became a lot more homophobic once they became colonized. Why were European cultures homophobic? Because they aren't directly necessary for a functioning society, and by emphasizing heteronormative "family values" you can create a traditionalist us v. them ideology that cements your policy. I'm not saying that it was some grand conspiracy, but more like a drift over time where pandering to 51% of the population can be more effective than…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 05:35 PM
6

Be careful, wouldn't want you to cut yourself on that edge
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 03:50 PM
3

22 minutes ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7nmzmh/women_hate_it_when_nice_guys_become_nice_guys/ds2y3jv?utm_source=reddit-android Ambivalentrooster: Are you attributing this to most women? You: yes Edited for accuracy
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 03:47 PM
7

Sure, but they're so rare that we can choose to drop them from our lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 03:43 PM
5

Well I'm glad you've moved your goalposts back from "The vast majority of women do this" to "it can possibly happen, so I'm technically still right"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 03:42 PM
13

The vast majority of women I know would rather just hang out with people they actually like rather than bother manipulating a man that isn't interested in just being friends with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/18 03:39 PM
2

There's two sources of feeling like shit: your biological sex drive and your ingrained ideas if what it means to be a man. The sex drive peaks on average after about a week of no sex, then drops off, eventually to nothing, with decreased testosterone as the result. You have control over your ideas. One of my best friends is currently going abstinate until marriage. Has been for years, is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 02:03 PM
1

Hell yeah. A life without family, without a job, without fulfillment, or without friends would be much worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 01:05 PM
2

Eh, sure, but not in front of friendships, jobs, family, and fulfilling hobbies. Out of those five things, sex and relationships are the least important.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 04:41 AM
2

Well I think we can attribute the imaginary dove to the cumulative years exposing his brain to high-intensity EM waves. Didn't know about the screeds, though
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 04:08 AM
3

Like I said, men's value isn't really influenced by it. When people say "value" on this sub, they mean as a mate, not as a human being. Outside of sex and romantic relationships, most of this talk isn't very pertinent.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 03:54 AM
2

That everyone is going to have an easy time getting sex, and the idea that their value is influenced at all by that ability. Nikola Tesla was pretty much celibate iirc. Sex is fun but it's not super important
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 03:31 AM
1

Women wouldn't be able to help with that. You need to separate yourself from the unrealistic standard society has for men. Women only have tangential experience with that. Also, are we talking about voluntarily giving up sex or not being able to get sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 03:22 AM
1

Men can survive without sex with relatively few repercussions except for, iirc, a slightly increased risk of depression. What else is there besides self-control?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 03:17 AM
1

Men have a naturally higher sex drive, so being abstinate will be harder. However, the only real trick to going without sex is self-control. There's no secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/17 03:13 AM
1

Oh, is there like a study or something? That would be cool to look into
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/17 10:51 PM
5

It's not a comparison between a specific businesswoman and hot Dennys waitress, it's the collective businesswoman population. There will be a businesswoman who is hot enough, if you look.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/17 04:21 PM
1

I think there are three types of rape: accidental, where a person thinks they have consent but don't, power exercising, where someone uses their power over someone to force them to act, and power reclaiming, where people use some power to feel as if they have more. I think we can disregard accidental rape since it's not really the same as the others. The other two have motivations that are more in line with men's traditional roles in society than women's. More men have social power than women, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 09:55 PM
1

Not if they aren't aroused.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 09:30 PM
0

I've never heard of that. My dad stayed Protestant even after he married my Catholic mom, though I was raised primarily Catholic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 08:46 PM
2

When the current minimum wage was enacted, it was exactly what I said, but inflation has made it less valuable over the last 40ish years Think about it this way: if the company can't afford to pay a full-time employee enough to live on without receiving welfare, doesn't that mean that the government is subsidizing the rest of a living wage?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 05:35 PM
2

Alternatively we could ensure that working 40 hours a week actually is enough for a single mother to support her and her kid on. Also, if she chose to have the kid instead of abort it, why do you think it's a mistake?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 05:20 PM
2

If she decided to keep the baby and cannot support herself and the child, sure. Generally if people can't support themselves they get help from the government.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 05:14 PM
2

The mother. The idea is that a father has a few weeks after being told to do the paperwork, and the mother would know that she doesn't have his support before she can no longer abort it, so she can still make a choice as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 01:35 PM
4

Statistically speaking, for every man that's ~30, there's a woman that's ~30. Every woman that leaves the dating pool through marriage (unless she's entering a same-sex marriage) takes a man with her, right? Unless you're saying that there are more high-quality men than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 07:42 PM
2

Alright, I stand corrected. There's a number of movements, especially in the US and Sweden, and they generally have support from the population, but the traditionalists in power are more against it. It's called a "paper abortion" or "father's right to choose"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 05:02 PM
3

There are papers you can sign essentially giving up custody rights to your kid, but I think they have to be signed before birth?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 04:44 PM
1

But who is it tricking, other men? Women? There still needs to be a reason for it to have become a dominant trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 06:18 PM
1

Right. I read international and thought worldwide, when you meant racially and culturally diverse. And yeah. There was a cool study that related nasal volume to air density (which varies with temperature and altitude). That kind of goes against your original point, though since Asian men tend to have broader noses, but you say they have more feminine faces.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 06:06 PM
1

That doesn't explain why, though, just where. I think you might have explained it in the previous section, though. You're basically saying that feminine faces were selected for in northern European societies, but now that they're competing in a more diverse setting (i.e., American cities) that diversity is selecting for sexual dimorphism? Also, I misread your comment. You said more international, I just read "international SMP" and got the wrong idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 05:51 PM
1

I wasn't aware there was a monolithic international sexual marketplace. Do you have any stats for gracile white men having trouble there? Also, why do you think those faces evolved in the first place? Was there a change in standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 04:35 PM
1

The question is, is that their natural build or are they influenced by society's idea of their standard build? I mean, look at Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee in their heyday. If you want to read into statistics, what does it say that both of the first major Asian actors to make it in America were ripped action heroes? Also I don't think that, if Asian countries had people with naturally thinner skeletons, they wouldn't develop say sumo wrestling as a sport.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 02:32 PM
3

Racial stereotypes. In America, racial stereotypes run along the same characteristics as gender stereotypes. For Asian people, their stereotypes (weak, quiet, less powerful) tend to feminize them, both men and women. Since they're biased to see Asian men as more feminine, white women and black women are less attracted to them. If I can find the article, I'll link to it. It also says that interracial dating is less underrepresented in schools that have more minorities, so racial stereotypes are p…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 01:49 PM
1

I mean, I can see why you think that. I think it would be worse when she finds out that you didn't tell her about it. If any relationship lasts longer than like a year, stuff like that is going to come up. It's better to be forward and have control over how she learns about it than letting it just drop at any moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/17 12:10 AM
1

Woah, you know, I never thought of it like that. You have opened my eyes /s
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/17 09:03 PM
2

Don't tell her right off. Eventually, if she decides that she likes your personality, looks, etc, and your relationship moves on, you should tell her. It's just like any other embarrassing secret we keep until we feel comfortable admitting it to someone we want to trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/17 07:58 PM
1

There is still going to be a dumbest person in the room, which hurts their ability to interact. Also, not everyone can be above average intelligence. There are going to be a few people on this sub that are below average, and they shouldn't feel excluded from the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/17 07:43 PM
3

This might be better for an anonymous survey. People value intelligence, so posters are going to feel pressure to inflate their intelligence. That being said, I'm blue, but I'm willing to change my views. Heck, I have. I'm more purple than when I came here, because I'm more informed. I came here because, after graduating college, I want to be intellectually responsible. If my ideology is right, then it will stand up to criticism. If not, I needed to hear another ideology anyways. No public comme…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/17 07:33 PM
6

I saw a post on a Christian sub where the poster said that we needed to look past Roy Moore's many, many, many faults because he would vote pro-life and that's what Christians should care about the most. Needless to say, most people disagreed. Single-issue voters will blind themselves to everything else if they need to, and many Christians in the South are single-issue voters.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/17 03:09 PM
9

I saw this on r/science. It's college-age girls rating their attraction to some people they picked up at the gym vs 130 psychology majors.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 09:11 PM
1

No, for most it's a bad attitude reinforced by bad experiences caused by underdeveloped skills and a bad attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 08:47 PM
1

Except that some people don't get as much experience socializing, or need more experience than they get, so they have trouble communicating with people in a way that would lead to a relationship. It's a positive feedback loop: if you have trouble socializing, your social experiences won't be positive, so you'll be less likely to socialize in the future and build your skills. I know this because I was in that feedback loop for the majority of gradeschool and only really broke out of it in college…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 08:40 PM
1

How you use your face, sure. Some faces are more photogenic than others, but that doesn't transfer to talking in person. Once you know someone, you stop seeing their face attractive or unattractive and associate it with your feelings towards the person who has that face.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 07:50 PM
2

You mean if they do. My friend I mentioned is attractive because of his personality, not because of his body.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 07:33 PM
2

For ONS? Sure, looks are more important than personality. You can change your looks a lot via diet and exercise, but some people will have advantages over others. For LTR or FWB? Personality, personality all the way. Once people get to know you they don't care about looks very much, since they associate it with a person as opposed to a body. One of my friends is 5'4", over 200 lbs, is pasty, and has multiple partners, from ONSs to LTRs. Not to be mean to him, it's not for his looks. Why then? Pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 07:20 PM
1

Agree. Many things you can't teach, you just have to learn via trial and error. As you get older it takes more trials and the errors hurt more, but there isn't really an alternative if you want to be social.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 07:05 PM
1

I agree. If you love someone you do things to make them happy, not you directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 06:33 PM
9

I think that you're always going to have an unbalance between two different people. Even if they loved each other the same "amount," the style of love might differ as well. Also, how they express love could make it all moot. Quantifying love is very hard, even ignoring how just loving more might not mean loving better or loving in a way the other person can recognize.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 04:18 PM
7

Not what I was going for. It's an attack against the abuse of power. Have you read Terry Crews's story? That is the sort of abuse of power I care about. If an average person on the street just walked up and groped another man's balls, what do you think would, or should happen? In any case, the director got away scott free, knowing that there was nothing Crews could do to stop it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/17 09:18 PM
4

You're close. I'm saying that there's no mystery to the attack. You read the headline, you know why, where, when, who, what, and how it happened. Each individual scandal is actually getting less attention than that one attack, but we see more headlines because the who and what changes every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/17 05:51 PM
7

I make sure it's apparent I value their actual opinion and won't become a threat if I don't like what they say. Also, I usually make sure the person I'm talking to has an easy out if they ever want to leave. It's not just for them tbh; I like knowing that the person I'm talking to actually wants to talk to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/17 04:45 PM
23

I've been seeing this a lot. I think it just gets down to, I'm tired of people in power not being held responsible for abusing their power, and you aren't. When I see someone get fired over 10-year-old accusations of groping or forced kissing, I see someone who got away with groping and forced kissing for 10 years before people started deciding that they didn't get a free pass. I'm paying attention to this over yet another terror attempt because this cleanse can be over relatively quickly. Peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/17 04:07 PM
1

Well, I think you're comparing two different characteristics here. They both affect how people perceive them as date material, but they aren't complementary characteristics, if you know what I mean. Also, are we talking prospects for getting any partner, or a specific partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/17 05:03 PM
2

Maybe because they also don't just want someone to fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/17 02:50 PM
8

Exactly. If women wanted a guy who was spineless and did whatever they wanted, they'd just buy a dildo or whatever the for-women version of an inflatable sex doll is. Women are just like men in that they want some one to share their experiences with, someone to interact with. They want someone with personality, not a rag doll that just does what they she wants to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/17 04:24 PM
3

Then why weren't there any woman Emperors in Roman history? Or why every Senate was 100% male? That's literally being ruled by men, a patriarchy. Especially since women couldn't vote. Fast forward to the US, and women weren't allowed to vote until the early 1900s . What do you call that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 06:08 PM
2

It was a pun; you misspelled "platonic" as "plutonic." Plutonic is usually associated with geology (cooled magma forms plutonic rocks) or wealth (as in a plutocracy)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 05:16 PM
3

Plutonic friends? Are those friends you lava too much to date, or friends you buy with money?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 05:04 PM
3

Yeah, I have in fact. Maybe my experiences are biased from hanging out only with emotionally mature women, but usually they formed good friendships around video games, anime, and a common sense of humor, just like my guy friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 05:01 PM
5

Yeah, one my best friends and closest confidants is a gay man. By the time he caught feelings for me, though, our friendship was pretty special to the two of us. He didn't tell me, but I could tell how he felt. We're still good friends, though! He has good control over his feelings, like I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 04:49 PM
1

Oh, I think I see what you're saying. Yeah, most of my friends that I'm close to that way are a combination of not available or not willing. Also, I'd rather keep a lot of them as friends instead of partners, if I ever were available and they were both.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 03:45 PM
2

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but doesn't "not available and willing" cover all the reasons why two people wouldn't date?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 03:32 PM
1

... Actually, now that you bring it up, no. Not because I avoid them, they just never really appear in my social groups. I might be biased, though. I find ~90% of women attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 03:27 PM
2

You could argue that if I actually spent money on those friends, but really it isn't any deeper than we both like the physical contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 03:14 PM
1

Yeah. When I hug my female friends it's meaningful for them because we're conveying our friendship for each other
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:57 PM
1

No, I know who Plato was. My philosophical history isn't stellar, but I know a good bit, like that he wrote down Aristotle's speeches and also wrote down his own. I tend to get their ideas mixed, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:40 PM
6

As a straight guy with a high sex drive, I'll admit it's hard, but after a lot of practice with unrequited crushes, it is possible. I found that if you don't sexualize them in your mind the crush can be replaced by a pretty good friendship. Also it helps to be dating someone so you can get the sexual energy out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:37 PM
1

Ohhhh, my bad. And here I was thinking Plato was some sort of prick. What I get for relying on my high school education.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:15 PM
2

Wait, so then how can women be friends with each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:12 PM
3

Even better, he came up with the name for it himself. Just imagine if i tried to pass off "friendship" as "KerPopian love"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 02:08 PM
16

I mean, yeah. I learned it in 10th grade English class. The Greeks recognized 4 types of love. Two of them weren't used much, l familial love and love for humanity in general, but the other two were Eros and Platos, erotic and platonic love.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/17 01:47 PM
2

Well I only sneer 'cause I'm right /s
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 10:05 PM
7

It sounded like he wanted to be the CEO of his marriages too. All three had red flags in the beginning, like a short lead-up time. Apparently while dancing with one of his wives at their marriage he told her "I'm the Alpha in this marriage." Like sure, that's a standard RP position, I won't go down that rabbithole, but still that should be something so clear before their marriage that he shouldn't have to say it directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 08:50 PM
10

Doing my own research, it looks like he divorced them. He said stuff like "if you were my employee, I'd fire you."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 08:26 PM
3

Asking for specifics, Theia M. Samurai
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 06:31 PM
2

I don't see how that makes men that are courteous to women easier to for women to manipulate. It just means that, in marriage, love aside, women have an unfair power over men, which I agree is unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 06:11 PM
4

It does challenge the idea that women are taking advantage of poor defenseless men that just want to pour their heart out to every woman they see.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 06:09 PM
1

It seems like you're asking some men to justify the actions of other men. Some guys are just sexist assholes and some aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 06:07 PM
6

None of the responsibilities except for caring for the kid(s) as a single mother, of course. So you mean that the system, not women, are exploiting men who dive into marriages, not men who hold doors open and refuse to ogle women? Also, who are making these decisions? There are twice as many male judges as female judges.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 04:07 PM
9

Do you have a source on how that statistic means that women are exploiting men?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 03:48 PM
5

Very few people like being alone for a lot of their lives. I actually didn't know this side of him. Viewing his success as a way to make up for his loneliness is actually fairly tragic. That being said, the little I've heard makes living with the guy sound like a nightmare. He's a genius-he started SpaceX on the flight back from a failed deal with a Russian launch company iirc- and if he never learned to slow down for the rest of us then he would have a hard time keeping any personal relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/17 03:44 PM
5

A sexually dominant person, also known as a "dom" or a "top" is, in a broad sense, the partner that takes the lead in a sexual encounter. It's more tied to a sexual fantasy than actual, social, dominance. And, for the record, a sexual fantasy is usually not something someone wants in real life, it's a scenario they enjoy in a sexual setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 11:47 PM
1

Well, they are. I listed the links to a few of the organizations that promote women in those fields. You just don't see that many op-eds about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 11:36 PM
1

I don't hear a lot of people screaming about those jobs in general, though, except for when GE cuts a bunch of manufacturing jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 11:08 PM
2

Well, let's not call those jobs anything close to mainstream either
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 10:37 PM
2

Here's one: http://anewaop.org And another: http://www.nawic.org/nawic/default.asp
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 10:05 PM
3

As a counterpoint, there is a group specifically campaigning for equality as garbage collectors and utility linesmen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 09:01 PM
1

Here's the Wikipedia article on it (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations?wprov=sfla1) but more damning is a recording of him from 2005 where he said, "I moved on her, and I failed. I'll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married. And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, "I'll show you where they have some nice furniture." I took her out furniture—I moved on her like a bitch.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/17 07:40 PM
1

That too. A sort of "I trusted you, but you couldn't trust me" response.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/17 07:35 PM
2

In an LTR, every weakness and flaw will eventually come to the surface. I've found that it's better to bring then up sooner than later. It's just like if you have a problem or disagreement with the person you're dating. If you put it off you'll be saving your relationship in the short term, but damning it in the long term because your problems will (usually) only grow if you ignore them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/17 05:50 PM
1

Doesn't make the man any less wrong, lying is still bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 11:11 PM
1

No, it still is. If she knew what his intentions were, she wouldn't trust him. She's being tricked about his intentions and whether or not she can trust him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 10:54 PM
1

Even if someone did, it's still intentionally manipulating her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 10:49 PM
1

He's convincing her of something false, specifically that he has her best interest at heart and values her happiness. How is that not tricking?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 10:19 PM
1

His intentions are the difference. If he were being a good friend, he would have helped her to help her. However, once helping her became a means to an end, his help became manipulation, and you can tell because he used her moment of weakness as leverage to make him happy at her expense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:49 PM
1

Not really. I honestly wanted to be better friends with her. I also had feelings for her, but I put them aside while I knew she wouldn't be interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:38 PM
1

Because the whole time he was supporting her, it wasn't about helping her, it was about putting himself in a situation where she would feel comfortable enough to let down her guard and using that moment of weakness to get what he wanted. Not once in the whole comic did he consider or value her feelings towards him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:35 PM
1

No. I had a crush, but I didn't think she'd be interested and I worried she'd be creeped out if she didn't know me better. Instead, I just let it draw us together platonically. I liked hanging out with her, she with me. Once I saw that we were in fact really close, I pitched the idea to her. If she had said no, we could have still been good friends, though I would have wanted a quick break to mourn and recover.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:31 PM
1

https://xkcd.com/513/
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:26 PM
1

I was, we were in the same music nerd friend group. We did interact exclusively through the friend group before the movies, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 09:24 PM
2

Intentions are different than feelings. Don't intend to trick her into loving you, intend to get closer to this person you like. Eventually, you might get close enough to confess your feelings and try for a relationship. But that doesn't have to be your goal in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 06:34 PM
1

The way I did it is I started inviting the person I was interested in to something I knew they liked and telling them upfront it was just going to be me and them, like "Hey that play you really liked is in town, do you want to go see it with me?" If they said yes we went as friends. Nothing romantic, just two friends enjoying each others' company. Depending on how fast you want to go, you could ask them out like the next day by saying," Hey, I really enjoyed doing that thing with you, would you …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/17 06:31 PM
1

You mean relied on for emotional support? I know, and it's strengthened every friendship I've had since high school
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/17 09:46 PM
1

Why? It's worked in the past
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/17 08:56 PM
1

Sure. Said t-shirts are still form-fitting and use a thinner fabric so they fit curves closer. Also they still tend to have a relatively deep v-neck or u-neck. If their t-shirts were as closely fitting as guy's shirts, they wouldn't hug their ribs under their boobs. How many shirts like that have you seen? Even online most shirts aren't like that
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/17 12:58 AM
1

As someone who stocked clothes at Target for three years, winter and summer, no they don't have the variety to choose from. By the way, my friend is currently editing her response, so it'll be up soon. I'll post it as an edit to this post since I covers your response too
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/17 12:47 AM
4

How old are YOU? I'm in my early 20s. I haven't had to use social media to date because I can usually date people in my periferal friend group. My face is a weak point in my attractiveness, so I make it up by working out, being funny and sociable, and generally having a lot of female friends I'm not interested in dating. Attraction isn't just physical, it's also mental and emotional, and I try to play that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 11:50 PM
1

I'll edit in a response from my friend, but the main answer is choices. Women's clothes are overwhelmingly more figure-hugging and less functional than men's, so when they want to buy clothes that aren't like that they have fewer choices and those choices are more expensive. As a result, most girls don't consider anything skin-tight unless it's really skin tight, like leggings and tights. As another point, men's fashion used to be more exhibitionary; look at the 60s, 70s and 80s. For the "bonus,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 11:44 PM
2

Depends on how you present it. I'm pretty insecure about a lot of things, but I don't make it other people's problem. I don't look for validation for my insecurities, but if it comes up once or twice in a conversation it shows that I'm an emotionally available guy, which at least for the type of women I'm interested in, becomes another point in my favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 11:05 PM
1

These are reasons I've gotten from my female friends. The last one is why the female friend I mentioned liked tank tops: she liked how the square neckline looked. Also, she definitely doesn't wear them for attention, she doesn't go out other than to movies and classes. Also, as a guy, I would love to wear tank tops more in the summer. Too bad they've gone out of fashion. As a second point, boobs are very good insulators if they're big enough; they're literally mounds of fat. For my friends with …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 10:58 PM
7

Natural selection doesn't just mean physical fitness. It means how well you do in your surroundings. If you don't try to make yourself attractive then your low-effort mindset is what's going to be deselected, not how easily you build muscle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 10:26 PM
4

It's not a random variable. Like I said, be reasonably fit, keep yourself clean, take care of your body, your house and generally have your life together. That alone instantly puts you above the 50th percentile of men, no matter how attractive you were when you started. Do some people have an advantage over others when it comes to baseline attraction? Yes, of course, but in a world where resources are plentiful, people who demonstrate their responsibility come out on top.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 10:22 PM
5

Don't you feel that appealing to the lowest common denominator would only attract certain kinds of women? If people diversified who they're looking for, everyone would have a better overall chance of getting dates
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 10:10 PM
3

Physical attraction is definitely within our own control. It takes effort sure, with working out, a responsible attitude, and a developed ability to hold a conversation, but you definitely have as much control over your general attractiveness as you do over your bench weight. Also, physical attractiveness is NOT the end-all, be-all of getting laid. There are people out there my friends openly admitted were hot but they avoided because he was creepy and they didn't trust him. You also have to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 10:03 PM
3

No, not really. Rest mass is the mass that an object has when you lock the reference frame to its center of mass, so its velocity in that frame is 0. Any extra mass comes from the momentum of that object moving relative to your reference frame. For example, my desk is not moving relative to me, so its mass is only its rest mass. However, it is moving relative to the Sun, so its total mass in a frame locked to the Sun is greater. That mass is important for knowing how it is affected by gravity an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 06:01 PM
2

All particles are also waves; scientists have verified this with the dual-slit experiment all the way up to 60-atom buckyballs. Also, that just means that photons have no rest mass. If they had no relativistic mass, they wouldn't be bent by gravity and they wouldn't carry energy. However, thanks to E=mc<sup>2,</sup> their energy means that they do have relativistic mass, so they are bent by gravity and they do exert a force on the things they impact because they impart their momentum to whatever…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 05:23 PM
3

Well you have weird interactions between individualistic wants that drive people to be in a better position to reproduce, give people a sense of fulfillment that helps them gauge the healthiness of their social group (maybe they want to move to one that keeps them healthier or makes their offspring more likely to be healthy and produce better offspring themselves), or even value themselves along the rules their social group gives them to tell them if their genes and lifestyle, if perpetuated, wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 05:13 PM
3

Sure, but in this sense objects have three masses : rest, relativistic, and total. For example, light has energy and momentum (that's why photon pressure is a thing) and follows the laws of E=mc2, but its rest mass is 0.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 05:00 PM
3

The less precise you are, the less your model will fit with individual cases in reality. If you're a baseball batter and you ignore how a baseball spins because aerodynamic effects are complicated, you'll strike out. F=ma still applies, but finding F is hard. Similarly, if you go on a date with someone, sure "people do what they want to do" is a good assumption to make, but if you ignore how complicated someone's wants can be, your model for how they behave will be wrong, and, again, you'll stri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 04:53 PM
7

I'd tell you, but the definition isn't simple so it's obviously a lie
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 04:23 PM
4

Acceleration is the derivative of speed, but "F=ma" operates under the assumption that mass doesn't change over time. The real answer is "F=vdm/dt +mdv/dt." Even then, people who work with that equation might be more interested in its integral over time, impulse, or its integral over distance, work. In either case, applying that equation to the real world means that you need to make it more complicated. Also, E=mc2 is a special case; it only holds if you're comparing the rest mass and rest energ…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 04:21 PM
5

Exactly. We all act according to survival and reproduction, but we aren't isolated from each other. We interact, we're pushed to work with others in varying amounts, we have complicated ways to look for good mates. Trying to describe human actions with "we all want to reproduce and survive" is like the Cauchy momentum equation for sociology: simple and accurate, almost impossible to apply in real life without massive simplifications.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 04:04 PM
6

Lol, tell that to an engineer, writer, or manager, or anyone that works outside of theory. Answers can be simple, true, or easy to apply. Pick two. You can frame everything as a simple, true statement, i.e. "F= d/dt (mv)" or "people act to stimulate their nucleus accumbens," but applying it in a meaningful way is very, very hard. You can phrase everything as a simple, easy to apply, i.e., "F=ma" or "people are selfish," but they're just estimations and only really hold in specific situations. Fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 03:54 PM
3

Maybe they're used to it? If you're used to a shirt that goes halfway down your chest even a medium-cut shirt could feel restrictive. Or maybe it's warm out and they don't want to overheat. Or maybe they like the cut off the shirt from an aesthetic point of view, but not a sexy one. Maybe they're busty and most shirts don't give their chest enough room, or they need the airflow to stop the underboob sweat. I know I'm expanding on a small, specific topic, but one of my friends almost exclusively …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 03:23 PM
2

I do have a "type" of person I like to date, but I never try to make a relationship like any other I had in the past. I'm not going to keep trying the same thing and expect different results. Instead I'm going to try to find my own mistakes and let my next relationship be the most stable and fulfilling one it can be. Trial, error, correction, trial.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/17 03:06 PM
3

If they're hot but we don't have much in common or don't expect to see each other again? Sure. But usually if I found someone I had a good time with I'd want to be regular with them rather than trying to find another ONS, you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/17 04:44 PM
6

Yes, generally speaking. However, higher intelligence can come with more arrogance, which can cancel it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 10:08 PM
3

I don't go on TRP very often; as far as I know "Blue Pill" is society's generic upbringing on how to interact with the other gender. Shouldn't that be the vast majority of society? Edit: wording
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 05:33 PM
3

Well, being generally shape in modern society is a sign of personal responsibility and enough resources free to eat healthy; it's going to get you far in all relationships, not just romantic or sexual. I think what they mean is that they don't like aggression. Looking back, they do like Chris Evans as Captain America. The common factor between him and Roger is a kind personality. Not even a ton of charisma, just a readiness to feel empathy. Also, I'd like to point out that Roger isn't sickly. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 04:43 PM
2

I listened to that album all the time! It took me until college to realize there was a movie!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 04:16 PM
5

I actually agree a lot with that. I think that, since feminism didn't have a similar movement loosening men's roles, we're in a position where men are more rigidly excluded from certain roles than women. In any case what I was trying to say was that trp is not like raisedbynarcessists because it does take their personal experiences and tries to apply it to society at large. You can tell because they use the term "red pill" and all the "wake up sheeple" ideas behind it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 04:14 PM
6

As an addendum, doesn't the very name of the community (red pill) imply that they think it's a system-wide problem? Also, "all parents are like that" would have a different meaning on, say raisedbynarcessists, than "all women are like that" does on TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 03:32 PM
6

As far as I can tell, the hypocrisy cuittler pointed out is not your problem specifically, it's a wider problem throughout the community.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 03:27 PM
5

I think what we men think of as attractive to women is skewed. We don't get input from women in media, we get input from male writers putting their words in women's mouths. My mind was blown when two of my female friends started talking about how they prefer someone closer to Roger in 101 Dalmations than Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dwayne Johnson.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 03:14 PM
3

1) Women were riveters in WW2, and we won that war through production. Also, it's not like modern desk jobs are super strenuous on people's bodies. 2) Being gay/trans isn't genetic, it's developmental. There aren't genes to select against. 3) My major is in rocket science (aero+mechanical engineering). I know how inhospitable space is. We can overcome them with modern technology, if not modern funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/17 11:06 PM
4

Here's the Harvard study: http://gap.hks.harvard.edu/impact-gender-diversity-performance-business-teams-evidence-field-experiment Also, a metastudy found that cooperative problem solving tends to do better than competitive problem solving. Maybe as women get more prevalent in the workforce, we'll see the rise of cooperation in industry. http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3102/00346543065002129?journalCode=rera
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/17 09:24 PM
5

Luckily for us, work isn't physical any more, and cooperation is very advantageous. That's why a Harvard study showed that teams with a 50/50 gender makeup performed best, but increasing the amount of women did not hurt performance like increasing the amount of men. Maybe us men should go back to our hunting and warfighting /s
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/17 08:33 PM
1

At least in response to carrying capacity, evolution seems to have a few steps for avoiding overpopulation. 1) decreased desire for pregnancy; as we've seen in Europe, densely populated societies close to carrying capacity tend to have low, sustainable fertility rates, while pre-industrialized societies near carrying capacity have higher fertility rates but still only produce ~2.1 adults. Only during industrialization, when health and carrying capacity rapidly increase, do we see exponential gro…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/17 07:57 PM
3

Physical attraction is only skin deep, and leaves us with our youth. Sounds like the fable of the ant and the grasshopper to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/17 07:23 PM
1

Thanks, big D!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 08:34 PM
1

That's the thing with Sweden, right? They aren't the rape capital of the world, they're the rape-reporting capital of the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 08:04 PM
2

Be the topic variation you want to see on this sub /s
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 08:02 PM
1

Not really. And course names are usually marketed to the groups hosting the course, not the prospective students themselves. Then the groups can market the course to their intended argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 08:00 PM
1

Oh, look out, snark attack! Close the beaches!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 07:51 PM
5

The CDC lists 3 programs that are effective and 4 programs that, while not having enough documentation yet, seem promising: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/prevention.html#Effective%20Programs
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 07:43 PM
5

Well it would make sense if it were women explaining what they found attractive, but as far as I can tell the majority of voices on TRP are male. Also, if you want to know where women's knowledge of what men like, just look at the media we consume. Almost everything is directed by men. They have creative control, and as a result, women have more experience seeing what men like to see than men have seeing what women like to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 05:48 PM
1

Dude, I am a guy, and I've been on the receiving end of non-consentual sex. Enjoying it at the time didn't keep it from ruining my trust in my then-girlfriend. Rape is about removing the other partner's ability to say no, not the sex itself. If your partner wants to stop at any point and you continue despite that, you've ignored their autonomy to say no. Also, where are you getting "guys don't care about women's feelings?" If that's true for you, then of course you wouldn't care about consent be…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/17 04:08 AM
0

Well, for one, try to get consent because if you don't get consent, that is rape. And it's good to get affirmative consent because when your partner likes it sex is a LOT better. Also, by a strange coincidence, making sure that your partner likes having sex with you drastically reduces the chances of being accused of rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 11:54 PM
1

But you can also tell when you're chasing the wrong path because things are getting wayyyyyy too complicated? Either way, it's like that. At least for me, I end up getting things wrong when I make a simple mistake or am completely off the mark. Those mistakes are a lot harder to make in sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 09:01 PM
2

"overt-ly" not "over-ly"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:55 PM
0

Cool. So when you're taking an engineering test, you know how you can tell if you're on the right track or not by how complicated the math is getting? Or, alternatively, you know how having a fish on the end of your line feels different than having a clump of weeds?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:38 PM
2

I know it seems like a non-sequitur, but have you ever caught a fish? Or maybe taken like a calculus/engineering course in school? Or filled out a crossword puzzle? I know a few metaphors, but I want to make sure you get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:31 PM
2

I get where you're coming from, nonverbal language is hard to understand when you don't have a lot of practice, but when it comes to stuff like sex you know when they want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:26 PM
1

No, I agree. Language on this sub, especially since it claims to be for debate, needs to precise and accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:22 PM
3

Right? I mean, appealing to peoples' sense of morality is kind of useless, especially on the internet, but if you've ever felt someone give enthusiastic consent, where they're actively wanting it, you'll never want anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 08:20 PM
1

It's not really a problem in my experience; better sex is slower anyway, and "affirmative consent" only really need to happen when you're moving on to the next level. Also, you can get affirmative consent in a sexy way. For example, refusing to go any farther unless she asks you, slowly starting to move to the next step and asking, "do you like that?" Also, people will have different personal preferences on what they want to do and in what order. Asking and taking turns leading, and respecting y…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 07:56 PM
3

For 2), There's a difference between trying to get laid in the sense of being overtly thirsty around the gender you're attracted to and trying to get laid in the sense of improving yourself to be more attractive in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/17 06:48 PM
2

Wow lol you really weren't kidding Also, props to the people who made it to 50 partners in I assume 25 years of sexual activity
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/17 06:24 PM
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