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Kind-Number-419 Archive

View 6 posts and 85 comments by Kind-Number-419 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-1

Your throwing around the word abuse like a women does.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:08 PM
1

Why control your lust? I did that for 20 years of marriage. I want to let loose for a bit
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:56 PM
2

This is bull shit
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 03:22 AM
1

Do you have a job?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 03:19 AM
1

Good advice. Nobody is going to give me a starting pay at what I'm making now. That's what it's hard for me to make a jump. I retained an attorney yesterday to reduce alimony. $6,500 retainer. Hopefully it does not cost much more than that when complete.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:11 PM
1

No sales job is going to pay me what I need out of the gate. I'd have to take a pick pay cut and don't know how I would afford to live
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 09:07 PM
1

I've been there for 20 years and don't know what else to do. My income was reduced because I lost a big account and I'm in sales. It was not vindictive on his part.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 08:00 PM
9

Yes. I still do. Ive been that way for 2 years if Seperation and now divorced for 2 years. First thing I did when I got served divorce papers was give my fire arms to my mother to hold for me. You should give up any firearms to a family member or friend to keep for while.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:16 AM
1

I have a call with my attorney today. I am going to pay him to try to reduce alimony and I will see what he can do. I will see if proving she receives funds and expenses covered by her parents will help at all to get a reduction in alimony. It would have to be done legally. I've already tried to reason with her to agree to reduce it and she will not agree to it. Her parents are good people, I work for her dad and he's been more than fair to me at work and runs an ethical business. There are no s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 10:24 PM
1

She has no income. Her parents pay for her home. Get her to pay me alimony? That's ridiculous. I've talked to my lawyer about it. There is no way I can get her to pay alimony. She has no income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:18 PM
1

Dude there are laws I have to follow. Going to her pastor or parents will not accomplish anything. For one, I work for her dad and have for 20 years. Confronting him about his daughters choices will not get me anywhere. Christian women see nothing wrong with using the laws to get maximum alimony. Her thinking is she never pursued a career so she could be a stay at home mom and I owe it to her. There is no law that would allow me to go after her for any money. She has no job, no income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:13 AM
1

Who files? Good thing you didn't get to 10 years which would earn you lifetime alimony in CA
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:42 PM
6

What would she? Free money for her. And her parents are rich and bought her a $1.6 million home, car and buy her whatever she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:09 PM
33

I have lifetime alimony in California. Was married 20 years. 2 years post divorce and she still has no job. $75k a year in alimony. Modern day slavery.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 06:58 PM
1

I'm already divorced. I don't need a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 07:17 AM
2

Good advice. I still do care what her and her parents think about me. I don't know how to fix that. It's complicated. I've worked for her Dad for 20 years and still work for him. I'm 100% commission sales and I earn every penny. It's a big company so we don't have to interact at all and we never see each other. He did not give me any accounts. Anyway, you can see how that's a tight rope to walk. I've come to the point where I just need to stand my ground with the ex and if she complains to her D…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 11:49 AM
2

She called me to see if I could watch the dog for a few days why she's out of town. It's technically our dog. We had the dog for 8 years before the divorce and I actually enjoy having him for a few days.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 11:38 AM
0

Hopefully after my son goes to college in August I'll have to deal with her less. I do have to see her and my sons college orientation and when we move him in to college. So I'm not out of the woods yet. I like the dog. We had the dog for 10 years and I like to spend time with him. Also, he has issues and nobody else is able to watch him when she leaves town. Even with the kids off to college I'm sure she will still reach out to me when college expenses come up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 09:17 AM
2

Does not work like that here. I was married for 20 years and she never worked. In California that gets me lifetime alimony unless she gets married. If she gets a job I can try go back to court to get it reduced but it's not that easy to do.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:40 AM
6

How old is he? That's heavy. If you actually went to your ex in laws house kudos to you. I can't do that, even for birthdays. All you can do is be present and involved as you much as you can be in his life. There will be times where he comes to you for comfort. You can't see it yet, but he will.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:57 AM
1

Agreed. The system at least in California rewards women for not getting a job.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:20 AM
1

I wish
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:09 AM
1

It was a dog we had during marriage as well and I I actually enjoy watching him and miss having a dog around. So that's not a big deal. Good point on the fact I handed her the wheel when I brought up getting a job. It's just really hard for we not to mention and frustrating she still does not work. We were seperated for 3 years and divorced for two so that's 5 years without a job.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:09 AM
1

I've decided to drive with my son. He has too much stuff to fly
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:13 PM
1

It's not as easy as a nod or a hi and then sit in your tailgate. My daughter b day was a sit down dinner and a pool party at the in laws house. Along with all my ex extended family. Extremely awkward. And I can't stand her parents. We've gotten into it a few times. I have nothing good to say to them. Sons graduation party will be the same. And a weekend for college graduation would be me hanging out with my ex wife and ex mother in law. Moving him in, then meals together, parents events.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 05:19 AM
2

I feel you. I've been divorced for 2 years and still on a total identity crisis. In a job I've been in for 29 years and hate it. So much of my identity was wrapped up in my dream home I had to sell and being a husband and father. But kids left are in college now too so deeling with the empty nest as well as the divorce. Seriously don't know who I am right now. I've also been totally turned off from the church through all this so really struggling with my spirituality at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:12 AM
9

My daughter is a full time college athlete with a full ride and she works two part time jobs on top of it. She is not to e problem. Her mother is. My parents didn't spend a dime on me after I graduated highschool. I feel like the culture here may be a bit different with expectations of still supporting your kids until they finish college.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 07:00 AM
3

I've been on therapy weekly and honestly it does not seem to help. Setting a budget seems impossible. I keep spending from my savings every month.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 05:48 AM
1

I talked to them every day. Son stays with me 3 days a week. I'm constantly asking them to do things.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 08:27 PM
1

I can relate. I feel like I miss out on so much. My daughters 21st b day was today and she took a trip to Catalina with her then went to dinner with ex in laws and I didn't get to see her. My wife will be going with my son to his College orientation and I won't be there. My sons graduation party will be at my ex in laws house and I won't be there. So many things I miss out on while I spend every day alone. It makes me angry and sad.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 07:32 AM
3

I've been through 4 therapists. I like the one I'm with. I just think I have treatment resistant depression. Tried multiple antidepressants and ketamine therapy. Nothing works. I've read road less traveled a few times. Great book.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:34 PM
5

Married 20 years. Make $300k year before tax. I know that sounds like a lot but I live in high cost of living area in Orange County CA and after alimony and taking care of my kids financially it gets cut up real fast.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:32 PM
1

How long have was your marriage? ? Does she have a job. If it's a long term marriage and she has no job your fucked. I divorced in California, wife never worked and was marriage was 20 years. I got screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:03 AM
4

Nothing
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:58 PM
5

I wish. I doubt anyone else would marry her
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 04:35 AM
7

2 years later and I am. Alimony is a monthly reminder
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:19 AM
4

I can't stand my in laws. And I work for my father in law. We don't talk. Imagine that, working for your ex father in law. It's terrible, but I am good at it and I make good money. 100% commission sales and consistently in the top 3 sales at the company so it's really hard to leave. Been there for 20 years. And I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:47 PM
3

Me too
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:45 PM
12

Yes. And weed and porn
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:58 AM
2

I'll pick it for now. Waited until marriage to have sex and married for 20 years to a women that has no sex drive and is cold in bed. I've been enjoying the casual sex.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:03 PM
2

If you have the money and are able to do it maybe pay had? My wife wrecked me financially in divorce and if she hadn't I'd be in a better option to help my son pay for college. He picked TCU $90k a year. I'm not paying for it. I feel terrible but it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:02 PM
3

Yeah. I know rejection is part of the game but does not make it any easier. I have been with some women during my seperation since my seperation before divorce lasted 3 years but can't really call those dating. Met them at bars and just hooked up. It's crazy, back then I was out of control smoking week and drinking daily and I attracted a lot of girls. Now that I've straightened up and got my shit together I'm not getting much interest.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 04:37 PM
10

Divorced for 2 years. Ripped the bandaid off last week and went on a date for first time with somone I met on Hinge. I got rejected. It sucked. Not a confidence booster. I was hoping getting the first date under my belt would get give me momentum to keep trying. It actually made me want to retreat more into my isolation. My self esteem and self confidence was wrecked on my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 04:25 PM
1

I have same issue. Been moved in for 3 years and embarrassed to have anyone over because it doesn't have a homey feel. My ex was good at that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:47 AM
6

Been divorced for 2 years now. I hate to say it, but I do go to the gym in the evenings. Better than sitting at home by myself or at a bar.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:30 AM
1

Yeah. I always fealt proud that I was able to provide so she never had to work. If only I knew what I know now. Providers are penalized in the divorce system.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:45 PM
3

Your lucky she makes more than you. I was the sole provider for 20 years and now paying lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 10:58 PM
2

Hard to let someone rest in the past when you still have to coordinate teenagers schedule's. Also hard when you have to send them alimony payments for life and remain a financial slave with the daily reminder they have ruined you financially. So mad
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:39 AM
2

Daughter is 20 in college and son is 18 off to college next year. I would have been dead already if I did not have kids. I don't enjoy anything. I used to live to ski, went skiing last weekend. Lonely and depressed the entire time. Used to enjoy surfing. Now I force myself to do and think about wanting to be home and in bed the entire time. I don't think there is any hope for me. Feel like I have tried everything
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:01 AM
7

I was overcome with depression, anger and fear. Sleep in until 12 noon every day and doom scroll to keep my mind off of ny reality. She financially ruined me. It's been 2 years and I'm still stuck in a loop. Just want to die and for this life to be over. I workout 4 days a week, therapy once a week. Tried ketamine therapy. Tried time it antideoressants. I don't enjoy anything. All I want to do is sleep. Losing hope
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 06:46 AM
18

She got beat up by the AP and you told her she's a POS? Brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 06:16 AM
1

I'm surprised she didn't retain an attorney that has you pay for her attorney fees. That's what mine did.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 07:05 AM
1

Well if girls I'm dating look at me in terms of a financial ROI I don't think I'll have much luck. I was financially ruined. I'm 48 and have no retirement, have to rent an apartment now and have to pay my ex $6k a month in lifetime alimony. I can't offer a home, secure retirement, fun vacations, and I'm strapped for cash every month.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 07:04 AM
1

So true, I'm convinced every women will say the thing they think will hurt you the most when their angry. If you open up to them about something from your past that caused pain or something your insecure about they use that. My ex knew I had a tough relationship with my dad who disappeared on me when I was young. She would say "you are worse than your father". That one stung like hell when she used it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:47 PM
2

Then pay for it. Go to a rub and tug. Some do full service. Just wrap it up. It's not ideal but you pay for sex one way or another. Dating isn't cheap.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:39 PM
1

If all you really want is to have sex you can easily pay for that. Scratch the itch. And, out a profile on OLD and be open your looking for short term. I thought I was garbage. I was complete wreck during Seperation and first year my divorce was final and managed a fwb that blew my mind in bed. It's possible. A lot of lonely women out there who want sex too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:29 PM
1

Is the $7k a month of lifetime alimony I have to send her every month about me? No, it's her. And she has that financial power over me and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. While she lives in a $1.6 million home her parents bought her while I live in a shitty apartment. It's hard to live for me now as I'm financially ruined. And I do whatever can to help my kids in college. So it's really not about me. I sacrifice every day to support others financially. 48m and everything I built is …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:56 AM
1

Ah man. Really. I'm at 2 years and it's getting worse.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 07:58 AM
1

Hopefully you don't live in California. I'm fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 06:23 AM
3

I'm 48, been divorced 2 years, also live in SoCal and have not found new friends either. Lost a lot of friends through the divorce. I was a pastors kid and really can't stand church so that's out for me as well. I tried the bar scene for awhile but that gets old real fast. I go to the gym, surf and ski but haven't had luck meeting people that eay. Those are solo activities. Many will say use the meetup app to find an activity you like to meet people. I've looked and I just can bring myself to do…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:56 AM
4

I wish we could deport women that do this when their divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:23 AM
1

So what's the story? How did you meet? How much time did you spend together in person before living together? What country is she from? Just seems like a wild story. I can't imagine marrying someone from over seas and being separate for 2 years. A good reminder for me to ignore all the tinder likes I get from hot Latina's 6,000 miles away.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:22 AM
3

Based on what she sent you by text I would be afraid she is setting you up for a DV claim. Sorry to say but I'd cut off all contact if possible and get a lawyer. You have only lived together for 2 months. Can't imagine it getting better. You sure she didn't just take advantage of you to get a free ticket to the US with plans to divorce you when she got here?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 03:03 AM
1

Did not work for me. Go on TRT, lift 4 days a week. I just do it because it's good for me but don't enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 04:04 AM
2

Divorced two years. Myself confidence was destroyed in by divorce. Too afraid to ask girls out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:18 AM
3

Do you have an attorney? You should be asking your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:15 AM
7

You sound like a women. Are you? This group is for divorced men.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 09:23 PM
23

Being financially ruined. I always fealt a tremendous sense of accomplishment knowing I was the sole provider to my wife and family. Because of the financial toll my divorce had on me I will never be able to be the provider for another women. That was imortant to me. I can't offer that kind of security to another women in the future because I'm scrambling to take care of myself financially and a financial slave to my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 11:12 AM
4

I learned if both parties are willing it's important to get therapy prior to divorce papers. Also, our therapist laid a ground rule that neither party was allowed to threaten divorce while going through the therapy process. Any divorce talk should be handled in couples therapy. I also learned that therapy is not necessarily going to save your marriage. In my case, it was a catalyst to moving us towards divorce. It's also essential that each person have their own therapist. And when you do couple…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:10 AM
1

Just curious, what draws women to be in a divorced men's group?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 09:07 PM
0

Therapist
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 09:05 PM
1

What do you do when you go out that she doesn't like?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 07:23 AM
1

When it gets toxic I believe the kids need to see their parents working towards something better. If it's just getting worse or staying the same and you two cannot come together to make it better, it's over. As far as counseling goes, I think it's important for each of you to have your kind therapist. Then you can do couples therapy in addition to that. It's important you have a therapist that is on your side. I too had a hard time with couples therapy because it was with her therapist. She was …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 07:20 AM
3

What's the guys name on YouTube?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:17 AM
4

I don't know how to date. It's been 20 years. I'll have to fake confidence.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:16 AM
10

I definitely being a little bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 01:45 AM
3

Yeah. I have really low self confidence right now. My ex crushed that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 11:09 PM
2

Fighting for time with my son (17) has not been an issue. We leave it up to him where he wants to stay and he ends up staying with me about 50% if the time.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 03:30 AM
2

Meant I work for my ex father in law
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 03:29 AM
2

I'm familiar with the Gavron warning. Since I'm only 1 year post divorce (21 year marriage) my attorney said that I would not have much luck with this given right now given the length of the marriage. He said to wait a few years then we could revisit. I could push for it now but it's just going to end up costing me more attorneys fees that I don't want to pay for right now if there is little chance in getting anything. I'll probably contact my attorney again on this in 1.5 years when my son grad…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 03:29 AM
2

I always wanted to be the provider so my wife could stay home and be with my kids. And she didn't want to work. When we were married I was ok with this. I was proud that I was able to provide in a way to give her this freedom. When I asked for her hand in marriage her parents told me they didn't want her to work. And I agreed. It wasn't easy. I worked my ass off. Now I'm being penalized for that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:19 AM
2

Daughter is in college, son is 17 and I have 40% custody. I make $350k a year. I pay $4,200 in spousal support and $2,100 in child support. How do you get off with paying only $750 in alimony if she doesn't work? That doesn't make sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 04:56 PM
10

The system is a fucking joke. Modern day slavery. Why would my ex ever get a job with what I pay her and what she gets from her parents.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 06:11 AM
2

I'd never turn my back on my kids so wont leave the country. Getting a minimum wage job is terrible advice. I would not be able to afford rent or food. I'd be homeless.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 04:04 AM
6

My ex talked me into moving out for a few months. It was a mistake. You should stay in the family home. If she wants to split, she can leave.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:54 AM
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