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LearnGrowExist Archive

View 12 posts and 289 comments by LearnGrowExist on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Yep, was going to say the same. Not only was I, but so was she, if only you could believe what they say. The lies are the worst part from women who ended up being “unhappy.” I have been listing them out again lately to remind myself that I wasn’t crazy and that contrary to her many lying words, she wanted all of this all on her own, and now she gets to be with the man she actually wanted (for now).
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 07:02 PM
1

I’ve been dying for a vaca since even before all this started years ago but haven’t had the finances for it. Recently someone reminded me that cruises are a thing, so maybe I’ll check this out! Hope you have a great time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:35 PM
1

I’m so sorry, my man. I know just how deep this pain goes, and my heart hurts for you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 11:41 PM
5

Yep, same
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 04:36 PM
2

Western society has no idea how to sit in discomfort or silence. Period. Both of those things are indelible and incredibly useful parts of life, and yet, getting into a new relationship is perceived as some master goal, while discomfort is primarily a problem to be avoided. It affects how we deal with conflict and interpersonal relationships in general, as well as how we sit (or rather, don’t sit) with ourselves.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 09:17 PM
6

Women like her cheat, lie, abuse, manipulate, and pretend. They did the same before us. They’ll do the same after us. I am a “rip the bandaid” kind of guy in this regard. Maybe I wouldn’t have been without my therapist’s encouragement in the beginning, but I have become very clear about not engaging with her bullshit, so I just left. She wanted to cheat and lie and rewrite the story of our lives together? Great. I hope her hand eternally cramps from writing so many lies and that she finds out ju…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 09:04 PM
1

Yep. “Happy Father’s Day,” from the cheater who spent Mother’s Day in a different state [likely] with another man and not her own kids. Fuck outta here with that bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 06:11 AM
2

Yep. One of my biggest regrets to this day was accepting any of her bullshit words about me as truth.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:10 AM
3

This comment made my day.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:27 PM
8

She’s in love with her coworker. Divorce her. Move forward. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 05:18 AM
10

What I have been learning from so many of our stories is that most of us men who ended up divorced should have pulled the plug YEARS ago based off of how we were treated. The first problem is, we have been conditioned to hold on, fight like hell, and go to the ends of the earth for our “wives,” regardless of the mistreatment, abuse, disrespect, or lack of attention, care, love, or loyalty from them. The second problem is, women have been equally conditioned to go out and “find” themselves, seek …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 01:45 AM
4

As a psych major who should truly care to understand their behavior, I find it’s best to simply not. I was with my (now) XW for about the same amount of time, and she changed her last name on social media and removed her rings the day after she said the word “divorce.” Talk about a total mind fuck. From all those years to this. And now she wants to act all happy and like she’s the bigger person? So no, I will never understand, and I will also likely never speak to her again. If that makes her th…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 04:34 AM
9

My god, dude, so much of this is relatable almost to the letter. Jesus Christ.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 05:42 AM
1

I chalk it up to “influencers” in general because most of them are just following the same cult-like / religious structure built to get people believing whatever it is they are selling/promoting/discussing/preaching/proselytizing. “Jimmy on Relationships” is a great example, even though he too is a Christian bigot (and cheater) who panders to his largely female following with his frankly obnoxious content. It is a basically a bunch of therapy speak from people either un- or under- qualified to a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 10:51 PM
4

Meanwhile, my ex-wife is away on vacation (again) and the kids are with me on Mother’s Day because of her shitty behavior. My poor children will forever pay the price of her bullshit and the consequences of her actions. But only one of us will ever actually care. It still feels pretty unbelievable most days.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:07 PM
13

If you haven’t read it yet, Courtney Peppernell’s Out of the Ashes was one of the most beautiful collections of wisdom and self-love and poetry I’ve read. She was cheated on and left by her partner (a woman), and her writing resonates with me so much. I’m sorry you’re part of the shitty crew, but you definitely do belong right here with the rest of us.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:01 PM
5

Happens all the time. “Walk away wife syndrome.” It’s complete bullshit. An excuse for women (and men who do the same thing) to cheat on, “leave,” and betray another person without allowing themselves to feel a shred of guilt for their shitty behavior and personalities. Like I told my ex-wife, they don’t grieve anything, they just make “grief” out to be another excuse to avoid all accountability. Just like all other therapy speak many people use for the same.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 09:33 PM
2

Yeah, I was going to assume there was someone else. Seems like there always is for women like them. I’m sorry, my man. Unfortunately, you have to live and sit in this grief for a while; feel everything; take it slow, but start getting to know yourself (your own likes, dislikes, values, ideas, thoughts); get into therapy if you can; take care of and show up for yourself physically, emotionally, mentally; write everything; and last but not least, cut contact with her as much as you possibly can. I…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 04:37 PM
1

I have been deeply depressed, heartbroken, and lonely for just about two years now — official DDay of her cheating was spring of 2024 and divorce was finalized in the summer of last year. Yesterday, someone I know looked at me and said, “You have a pep in your step lately!” And I realized, that’s true — I do! I still have the stressors of daily life; finances are incredibly difficult as a single, half-time dad with a pretty basic paying job; and sometimes I get tired of the internal struggles of…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 11:44 PM
2

Can confirm. Her mom’s a narc. While she was actively lying to me, cheating on me, and reminding me (often) that she was “leaving” me, she was simultaneously trying to garner sympathy for some shit her mom had pulled on her. It took everything in me to not ask how it felt to be lied to and betrayed. And yet, by that point, I already knew that she was the master of flipping the script so instead I told her in nicer words to fuck right off.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:02 AM
1

It’s fucking crazy to me how much we have been conditioned to internalize their messages about us. Like, it took me a solid several months to begin processing and reconfiguring the truth from her bullshit. I still struggle with this sometimes. But it’s so much better to do it on my own and away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:12 AM
2

Yep, 💯
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:10 AM
3

Even with kids, I barely acknowledge her existence. No more pleasantries or pretending, no more being the “good man” she married. That guy died after she cheated and brought up divorce, and the rest of him died when it was all said and done. This new life is my own now, and I’m just slowly building. No forgiveness or niceness required.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:07 AM
1

Yes, this! Fuck the forgiveness, indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:02 AM
15

It’s what they do. And they buy into it all because their miserable-ass “friends” are so wise. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:58 AM
1

Brother, this gets better — I fucking PROMISE. The early days are a death of their own. Feel all of them. Write. Run. Read. Give yourself all the attention and love you deserve. No one in this world knows how to do that better than you. And please hear me: as guys who have been right where you are right now, we can all tell you that this gets better and we are here when you feel it never will.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:54 AM
2

I’m not holding anything. I wouldn’t be holding forgiveness any more than I am holding a lack of it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:27 AM
3

Cheaters absolutely destroy the people in their lives. I think a therapist would do you well, my friend. I also think you don’t owe “forgiveness” to anyone, least of all a cheater. I will likely never forgive my ex-wife for what she has done to me and our children/family. I will press on and be just fine, but I will not forgive and I will never forget. You only owe yourself the life you want to live as the person you want to be now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 03:02 AM
5

She completely exhausts herself in life and then blames you for being “emotionally unavailable.” It’s like a big temporary exhale of relief…until she repeats the same patterns of behavior over and over and over again without any self-reflection — or until she takes real accountability for herself and realizes that her biggest problems in life were never actually external.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:52 AM
1

Coming around here to trash men who have been cheated on to tell them why they “aren’t taking accountability” sounds a lot like something cheaters do. Ask me how I know. I’m going to “expire alone” anyway (which my response above clearly already says, so it’s not doing the damage you want it to…). So yeah, speaking of listening well and how you “aren’t trawling a men’s divorce sub.” Alllrighty then.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 01:41 AM
5

Yep, god forbid you disagree with her. “Is this…oppression?? 🤔🦋” /s
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 11:12 PM
4

Lol, you are spot on, dude. I overlooked everything in the name of love, often consciously. It’s why I like the term “chump” because I absolutely fucking was one. Sometimes even on purpose. Lesson. Learned.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 07:01 PM
7

Right?! I also grieve by sleeping with other people while in a committed relationship. /s 🙄 It sounds completely asinine because it is. Actually, that’s the problem, isn’t it? Men like us — fucking chumps — can be everything for the women in our lives, not the least of which, faithful, loving, and thoughtful, and yet, we will still end up here because her decade long cycle of “grief” turned her into a lying, cheating piece of shit? I don’t think so. I think we were just blind to who she was all …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:52 PM
3

A long way too. Masters of manipulation via the ever-perfected “word salad.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:44 PM
6

Just like all other 21st century therapy speak, it sounds like “grief” has become a catch-all for lying, cheating, breaking hearts, and destroying homes. And the best part? Just like all other therapy speak, we can’t really even challenge it because we wouldn’t dare speak out against someone’s lived experience now, would we? In this way, “grief” is just another individualized and internalized excuse for being a shitty person with zero communication skills and no real desire to take accountabilit…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:42 PM
3

Agreed. I loved Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life (chumplady) and this lady initially sounded helpful…up to this point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 04:16 AM
8

See, this is honestly part of my issue. We accept the infantilization of men even to the point that we internalize this message of how we have “big emotions.” I recognize this is true rather instinctively and after years of learning myself and studying the brain. As a matter of fact, I’d argue that I was more emotionally “in tune” and mature than my ex-wife ever was. I’m willing to bet that there are a lot of men just like this around here. We were able to recognize, hold, and express our emotio…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:24 AM
5

I honestly have considered pursuing this as a career path long-term (psych major).
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:04 AM
6

You should just resort to pretending to throw and blow up a hand grenade every time you have to interact with her. Then when she finally caves and asks what that’s supposed to mean, you can say, “I’ve been communicating clearly that you are blowing up our family.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:52 AM
10

She had this brief little blurb about women with potential Cluster B disorders and then right back to the bullshit about “some even haven’t started new relationships yet.” Um, I’m sorry, you mean fucking cheating? Yeah, no thanks. 🖕🏽
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:30 AM
5

Man, I’m already divorced, so it doesn’t even matter anymore. Just venting because, well, apparently I still have feelings about it all. Appreciate your response all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:27 AM
1

💯 One of my kids looked me straight in the eye today and said, “Thanks, Dad, for everything you did to make Christmas amazing this year.” My heart is so full because of them. I’ll likely never even understand why I’m actually divorced now other than my arrogant ex-wife who couldn’t remain faithful regardless of how much I fought for her and our family. But it really doesn’t matter. My life is mine now, and I didn’t break down (yet) today, so I will take that win every single time. Hang in there …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 12:23 AM
2

Pre-teens. First Xmas divorced, second since separation. This is solid advice, I appreciate it. I wrote down some really good times/laughs we had this week and I’m hoping to carry forward what we did to spark them as new traditions into the future.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:21 PM
4

“As an empathetic person, and as their partner, you rightfully feel that they should be seeking comfort in you. You’ve always healed them in the past, so what’s different now?” Damn, this hits. I said something similar to my ex after she decided to have an affair with her employee and cry “divorce.” She cried her tears. Said she “knows” how much I gave. Apologized for “hurting” me. And that was that. Then her tears became accusations, projections, lies. No change. No real repentance or sorrow or…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:48 PM
3

I can’t stop breaking down at random times crying this last two weeks. Glad I’m not alone in this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 12:38 AM
4

Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry, man. 😔💔
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:33 PM
7

Sounds like a “mega hoe” that is completely someone else’s — or a lot of others’ — problem now. Stay strong, king. (But also, that is really ugly and painful to go through, so I’m sorry.)
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 03:32 AM
12

I feel this. I’ll never forget the day that one of my closest friends had been hearing about what she said and did at the end (after cheating) and he looked me dead in the eye and said, “She’s a bitch.” I was almost shocked to my senses and for the first time in my life I allowed myself to speak ill of the person I had spent my entire adult life loving and caring for and about whom I had never once allowed an ugly word to slip out. That was the beginning of healing for me. We really do need good…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:44 PM
7

It’s still a death. A death of the woman you thought you knew if she cheated and lied and rewrote history, etc. A death of the relationship you didn’t expect to walk away from. A death of dreams and a life you were building (with OR without her). A death of the man you were leading up to all of this. For now, your rational side will need to carry your emotional side and you will need to grieve all of this loss as it comes. It is absolutely horrific some days. And yet, there is still life on the …
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:58 PM
7

Damn, this is rough. I’m sorry, man. But also, good for you for leaving this unsent and getting it out here. Cheaters are the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 11:38 AM
1

This is even funnier considering I made this joke to a friend earlier 😂
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:40 AM
2

Hey! You’re me! 😂 fuck these women, man. Jesus Christ.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:39 AM
6

I thought about it earlier today. Also divorced, no contact. Don’t do it. Not worth your mental and emotional health. Keep working on yourself and moving forward without her. Use your anger to be the best version of you. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:42 AM
4

“Now I would rather be the guy who gives words instead of the work.” Trust me when I say that as someone who did both, it truly doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:04 PM
3

Oh my god, I have some stories to tell about this right here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:02 PM
10

I needed to hear this tonight. Struggling pretty hard right now. Thanks, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:49 AM
8

My ex wanted me to “work on” myself and “heal.” Little did she know that I would only ever be able to do so with her out of my life. Funny thing, that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:04 AM
7

I feel this is what happens when years and decades of “believe women” and “men are evil” finally come to full fruition. “Not all women” — until it’s one of them. “Not all men” — until it’s one of us.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:10 PM
1

Best practice, for sure. I don’t typically sit blindly, but apparently I was distracted enough to do it this time! For the record, I’m pretty sure that was a one-time occurrence for me now that it has happened.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:05 PM
1

“Like, no one cares.” Lol did you even bother to read the post? It was supposed to be lighthearted, but also…my ex-wife literally cared. So did multiple others apparently. Glad to hear you never had to deal with this level of pettiness, though!
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:03 PM
4

I think it’s a mixed bag, unfortunately. I am still a “feminist” for all intents and purposes; however, I have also experienced firsthand the incredible damage caused by an over-inflation of certain ideas, especially on the individual level over the social one. “Believe women” is a great example. My ex-wife made awful accusations of me because she didn’t want to take full accountability for cheating, abandoning us, wounding me deeply, and upending our family. It damn near destroyed me to think I…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:10 PM
5

This is a really thoughtful and gentle response. Thanks, man. I guess I needed to read this, too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 10:57 PM
9

How does her sending nudes not amount to “something physical?” Idk, I’m just less accepting of the bullshit than most people now, I guess. As soon as she took her clothes off for someone else, it was “physical.” If it had just been the talking? Maybe I’d call that “emotional.” Probably not because it’s all just cheating at the end of the day, and it takes a certain kind of person to cheat, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:14 AM
2

We’re pretty close with the timeline and kid stuff, and I woke up from dreams of her early this morning. But instead of good ones (thankfully, I guess), they were of her telling me about other men she cheated on me with and then immediately gaslighting me about it. Didn’t wake up devastated this time at least. It does keep getting slowly and more progressively better. Hang in there, man. This time of year can be rough.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 04:40 PM
5

Yep, I have no way of knowing and I’m finally getting to a place of not caring what she has said… I know she convinced herself a lot about me to even get to the place where she could cheat and want a divorce, so that’s good enough for me. I assume the worst now about everything and just keep moving forward for myself. It’s literally all you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 04:22 PM
4

Oh mine was telling ME we were divorced within … minutes of telling me that’s what she wanted. Liars and cheaters gonna lie and cheat, I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:48 PM
7

Oh, yeah, and astrology
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:10 PM
5

See, told you. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:28 PM
15

Yep. And then they’ll use their trauma as an excuse whenever it’s convenient for all of their subsequent terrible words and actions. Never mind the trauma we have endured that didn’t turn us into cheaters and liars and users and betrayers. Things I’ve learned to not ignore: - Childhood trauma - Verbal mistreatment of others (or myself) - Filthy / unsanitary living habits - Never feeling like I can ask for anything - Social media addiction - Taylor Swift idolization I’m sure there are plenty more…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:24 PM
3

Lol men (and probably STDs) are like Pokémon now - gotta catch em all!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 06:54 PM
8

Rolled my eyes so hard at this. Fuck ‘em all. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 05:58 AM
1

It’s funny, I just got done sharing stories with a friend about opportunities I had to cheat while my ex was cheating on me that I didn’t take. And yes, I’d say I’m average at best. Some of us aren’t cheaters.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 07:36 AM
5

Dude, as a divorced man who was cheated on, the mental gymnastics it takes to turn anyone cheating into “yeah, but others cheat, too” are just … upsetting to say the least. Cheating is not a mistake. It is a series of choices someone makes to betray another person. And at the most basic level, it is abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 07:04 AM
2

YUP. Just like we were conditioned to be. And guess what: it’s still not enough. And never will be for narcissists (individual or collective).
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:34 AM
12

I’m so tired, guys. 🫩 Like the fact that this narrative is so fucking prevalent and we all just lived the same exact thing on repeat is truly one of the most disheartening and disgusting things I have ever witnessed in my entire life. I am on the wrong track toward hating women after how my ex-wife and then (immediately after my divorce) former boss treated me. And here’s the thing: I know better. I know not all women are this way. I know my situation with both of those women back-to-back was so…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 08:47 PM
9

Fucking THIS.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 08:36 PM
9

Hey. That’s my story! 😆 WTAF man. I’m glad I can at least laugh about it today… Jesus they really are all the same, aren’t they?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:21 AM
6

Had me in the first half, not gonna lie. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:20 AM
15

You have me dying right now, which I know is not your intent, but this shit is absolutely unhinged and hilarious to me. Thanks for reminding me why I don’t want to date now that I’m divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 04:05 PM
10

I fucking hate the holiday season now. It was my favorite time of year for so many years and now it literally just feels like death on repeat. That said, I’ll decorate this week with my kids, make good food, and try not to show them any of my grief… just like last year! 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 05:44 AM
7

Social media is both a symptom and a sickness. A symptom in that the deeper illness is clearly narcissism on both a collective/social and individual/personal level. A sickness in that it has taken on a life all of its own, keeping us distracted, demoralized, and desperate. Getting off SM (except Reddit, of course, lol) was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, and I didn’t even think I was that impacted by it. Insidious.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:05 PM
22

I will never get married again without a prenup and a clean exit strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 05:43 PM
14

Oh man, this just triggered something in me lol so many stories… The double standards were endless.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:24 PM
9

The risk far outweighs the reward. If I could have known 20 years ago what I know today, I would have stayed single forever and probably not even lamented it for a moment.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 07:03 AM
5

💯 the very definition of collective narcissism
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:50 AM
5

So, first things first, you need time and space to grieve. Please make sure to prioritize this for yourself. This is a lot of loss at once, and one of these losses is enough to break a person. Find or create a safe space (NOT anywhere near your STBXW) and let it out as you need to. Happy to hear you are on meds, too. Nice work being ahead of that. You also need to cut or severely limit (if you have kids) communication effective immediately with your STBXW. She is not your friend. Friends quite s…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:39 PM
15

I looked out from my balcony tonight and just realized that even with all I have done and how far I have come so far, I still have no real identity, no desire, no vision for a future. I wish someone had told me 16 years ago that I needed to be my own person, find my own hobbies, save my own money, build my own life, invest in myself, but instead I get to be a heartbroken, divorced, half-time dad in my thirties with an ex-wife who cheated her way through life at my expense, cheated on me while I …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 01:33 AM
5

Yeah, mine was “scared” of me but wanted an “amicable” divorce where we “co-parent.” Made sure I knew how much the kids matter, too, of course. Presumably she didn’t want to be taken for everything because she is a liar and a cheater and knew that could be the end result if I pushed too hard. She was scared alright…of the consequences of her own shitty behavior. But as usual with people like her, she never actually saw any. Honestly, that person has never lived a day facing actual consequences f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:21 PM
15

Yep. My XW immediately went on the offensive as soon as the word “divorce” left her own mouth. I dared raise my voice in that moment (to say I didn’t want the divorce) and she locked herself in the room with my kids to tell them that we were divorcing without me. Told me that I “scared” her (I have absolutely no history of violence in my entire life). Told me that I made her feel uncomfortable. Unsafe. In fact, that became her whole narrative all the way through the process. She cheated on me, e…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 02:42 PM
10

Yep, mine cheated and accused me of shit I couldn’t believe to make her own actions more palatable. What is there to say to someone like that other than “here’s the kids’ stuff for the week”? Sometimes I don’t even give that courtesy. I just can’t care. She fucked me up in ways I’ll never be able to undo or fully repair. None of us owe any of them a goddamn thing other than the general decency of the stranger on the street that they have become in the process of earning their hard won “freedom.”
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 04:34 PM
7

They really are all the same, aren’t they? Ugh.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 05:25 AM
1

Solid advice all the way around.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 05:25 AM
3

Heh, I just lost my job to a shitty narcissistic boss after being cheated on and getting divorced from a shitty narcissistic (ex)wife, and I’m about to go try to work for FedEx now to recover…AGAIN. Solidarity, my dude. Fuck this shit. That is all.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 07:58 AM
1

This is a great observation, OP. Early on in the process for me, I told my therapist that writing was becoming this for me — something that seemed to help me process but that was starting to make me feel stuck in my emotional loop — and she expressed genuine surprise and told me how insightful and good that it was to recognize this and that it may be time to consider doing something other than writing/journaling for a while. She was right. Sometimes you really do just need to take a break from w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 03:22 PM
10

It’s wild to be treated like a disposable asset after so many years with someone for whom you developed an actual love, respect, and attachment. I think this is why so many people say that the dating scene sucks now, too. We have all become nothing more than commodities to each other in this completely fucked up system. “What value will you add to my life?” is the question leading the conversation for many women. So they cheat, divorce, remarry, ad infinitum. Because the truth is, nothing in the…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:48 PM
4

Yep, and once you have seen the face behind the mask, the clock is ticking.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:11 PM
24

Honestly, the way I came to grips with it was to come to see her as the evil person she is. At the beginning I wanted to understand, too. But man, there’s nothing to really understand here… She took you at your lowest and not only kicked you while you were already down but then laughed at and mocked you for not getting back up so she could fuck someone else and not have to feel the weight of responsibility to love you the way she promised she did and would. So let me flip this around and ask you…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 02:53 PM
13

Married 15 years, two kids, moved across the country to get a fresh start (which would apparently mean new men for her, too) within less than two years of being here. I now live in a small apartment I can barely afford with my kids every other week, getting ready to lose my job six months post-divorce through no real personal fault (a story of its own), and I already live like a poor man on the best paying job I’ve ever had. Last night I read a quote from a book I’m reading that I’ll paraphrase …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:32 PM
3

I feel your pain so much. Ride this wave, too, man. Feel it. Embrace it. Weep. Scream. Hurt. Whatever you need. You will come out on the other side again, but no need to worry about that right now. Feel the grief and don’t rush through it. I’m sorry you are here.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 04:51 PM
2

Morse code is solid advice. “Communicate” like she did for a change.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 03:12 AM
2

Thanks, man. It was a pretty good day today after a pretty terrible night last night, so I’ll take the wins where I can find them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:00 AM
1

I love when people recommend specific books to me because I love reading. Thanks for this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:19 AM
1

Good advice, thank you for this and for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:18 AM
1

I love walking and hiking and usually spend significant time outside every day. I haven’t done so in about a week and a half, and I can see how it has really been taking a toll on my mental health. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:17 AM
1

Well, I didn’t skip the next drink last night (it was a six pack), but I did fall asleep and got a pretty damn good night’s rest after falling apart which was a win. Appreciate you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:15 AM
1

Thanks for the question (and support). I am going back to school for my master’s. I’m reading again, though not near as much as I used to which makes me kind of sad. I usually walk and exercise but have been on a hiatus for a bit because of life, kids, depression, work, etc. My job is on the line because of a terrible woman that has proven to be somehow worse than my ex-wife. That has had me fucked up for a good long while, too, but it at least gave me something to redirect my attention to for a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:14 AM
3

Atheist here but still super appreciate your insight and taking the time. Thanks for this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:05 AM
2

I like your comment and appreciate you. Last night was rough. Today, a little less so. Thanks for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:03 AM
2

It’s funny, I actually had a good therapist who got me through a full year of the process and some of my darkest days and then lost him recently because of the shitty system and place he worked for. Thanks for taking the time. Some days truly suck so much worse than others. I drank too much, slept it off, and picked right back up and went to it again today. Showing up even when I don’t want to.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:02 AM
1

Thanks for this. Some nights are just really shitty still. Today is much better than yesterday. Appreciate the support and the kind comment.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 01:59 AM
1

Second year post-separation holidays, first year post-divorce. I am a wreck in every way right now. All I can tell you is that your kids are the most important part of the equation (“you know this,” to quote my therapist) so do the best you can to make every moment and every memory count for their sakes. Try to think of every single moment with them as your last. It hurts, but it might help to put it all into perspective for you. You never know.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 05:35 AM
1

This means a lot to me. I can’t breathe right now, but I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 05:28 AM
7

Mine was in a different state with a different man during our “separation.” Yes, it is cheating regardless of what cheaters like to say to justify their cheating. And you’re right: it most likely didn’t start there. It hardly ever does.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:35 AM
4

Yep, I feel this. It is absolutely crazy to me how much I overlooked in the name of love and trust. Never again. My standards and boundaries after my ex might honestly make romantic relationships impossible in the future. I guess we’ll see.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 04:50 PM
2

For quality assurance purposes, your call may be monitored and recorded.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 04:38 PM
3

Get good with being alone and consider dating yourself. I know it probably sounds silly to some extent, but I took myself out tonight, dressed up nice, went and got some drinks, took a book…all just to be around people without the stress or expectation of being with someone, and I really enjoyed it. It takes time, but like someone else said, feel your pain, grieve your loss (it IS a significant loss), and show yourself some of the attention your ex-wife should have shown you a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 05:12 AM
3

This is mostly true for me, but I still ask them to keep certain things “here” (meaning at my home, I don’t ask them not to share with her specifically). Usually it is related to my personal finances or successes or struggles. I don’t want my ex having that window into my life at all anymore after how she treated me. But, that said, they have kept one man a secret for long time from me and to this day I have no idea how involved he’s been in their lives. That was from before we were even divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 09:00 AM
2

They’re awful. I didn’t even try for couples therapy. Told her to figure it out herself, and big surprise: that was the straw for her… Turns out, therapy or not, once these women are done, they will take any way out. But don’t call them out on any of it because then you’re also the asshole. What the fuck ever. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:50 AM
2

Lol I mean they were two very “yes” and “no” questions, I guess. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:15 AM
3

Nice, good luck, my friend. FWIW, I married someone who up to the end said she wanted to grow old with me and whose parents are still happily married (if there is such a thing). It all feels like one giant lie to me now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 10:15 PM
5

They are heartless and they are fake. That’s how. They love to believe they’ve cornered the market on empathy and “emotional intelligence” while destroying the people closest to them with a sparkle in their eye and a smile on their face. It’s actually pretty telling.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:31 PM
3

Yep, made the mistake of still caring for slightly too long and it might be my only lingering regret now. Should have kicked that bitch to the curb the moment she told me about the other man and before she ever said the word “divorce.” Lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:55 PM
11

It’s funny isn’t it? We were all raised and taught to course correct because of “those men” the tropes were all about - to be the types of men that women wanted. Loyal, kind, faithful, good… but nope. It turns out they just moved the goalposts again and again so that whatever we weren’t or didn’t is what our wives all miraculously wanted instead. They also never had to reciprocate because all they had to do whenever the going got tough was to go out and find the exact men they claimed to hate to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:41 PM
7

As little contact as you can get. Period. You don’t owe her anything. Move forward quickly and decisively. Don’t internalize the shit she has said and done and might still say and do to justify breaking your heart and your family. Finalize the divorce and grieve through the whole process. There’s no way around it — only through. Oh, and what I wish someone had told me: have a fucking backup plan for your job/career. You will make it through even when you don’t believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 04:42 AM
3

She was probably just allergic to the truth. I’m learning that many women are — especially divorcees. But yeah, I haven’t even started and I think I already have given up on it. 😆
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 04:33 AM
11

I honestly look back and think about this as sex-bombing. Pretty sure it was Dr. Ramani that brought that idea to my attention, but it’s similar to love-bombing in a narcissistic relationship except, well, with sex… My ex and I were pretty sexual up until the very end when she dropped on me that she hated having sex with me (news to me after many years of her being well taken care of in that regard). Talk about hurtful. Now it just feels to me like another angle of their abuse from beginning to …
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 02:23 PM
2

Yep. Agreed. And yeah, two, and it’s fucking brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 06:34 AM
1

They always believe their own lies, unfortunately. I called her out after over a YEAR of lies that she told me about MYSELF and then she just went completely silent. Like, how tf do they do this?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 06:13 AM
3

My ex-wife told me she was afraid of and uncomfortable with me and that hurt me in ways I still can’t even explain. This makes me sad for so many of us.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 06:07 AM
3

Nice work, dude, and thanks for the words of encouragement today.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:28 PM
9

This is the only way - 5 years or 55 years - a cheating woman is a cheating woman who does not deserve to be given a “second chance.” If you give one, expect it to be tumultuous at best and destructive at worst. She probably doesn’t want it anyway, but if she does, she can go get that from someone else, too. Source: I tried to “forgive” XW and if I could go back in time and immediately end it with her at the first hint betrayal, I absolutely would. Trying to keep her and make “us” work is one of…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 03:46 PM
5

I needed to hear this. Happy to hear your life is turning around and shaping up for the better. I saw a photo of my XW on SM yesterday that shook me up, I realized after that I just shouldn’t be looking, but it is still so hard not to (for me). The grief is real. But today, I went for a run, worked out, drank protein and water, now I’m about to write music. Because no woman is worth my life and I’m tired of this cycle where I feel she still has hold of it even though I clearly don’t mean jack sh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:24 AM
3

Can confirm. I “dated” my wife. And she still went off and dated other men anyway (while we were married).
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 03:29 PM
3

Haha this was great. Funny how it’s “not all men” until it’s all of us. 🙃
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:46 AM
5

For me, it would have been saying “no” whenever I didn’t feel like doing something because I’m a human with my own needs and preferences. It would have looked like sticking to my guns about spending money “we” didn’t have to spend and not being manipulated by her when she didn’t get her way 100% of the time. It would have looked like being a lot less understanding whenever she cried over ex-boyfriends and lied about her past and present relationships. You know what’s funny? “Boundaries” in hinds…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:43 AM
3

This is so much of it. Even reflecting in my “calm”: I think about her leaving the state to go fuck another man before the divorce was finalized, and I just think, how the fuck does someone do this to a person they claimed to love for so many fucking years almost overnight? And then to go about living as though the world is at her disposal - with the worst part being that it actually is. Her kids, her job, her family, her friends…she gets to step back into a version of reality that is completely…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:03 AM
3

Hey, thanks, man. That’s really kind of you, and I needed to be reminded of this shit tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:23 AM
6

This shit right here is the worst of it all for me now. I’m all but over my ex, wish her well in the future of fucking other men while pretending she’s above and better than all of them. 🙄 But the boss? The one who has proven to me how awful women can be post-divorce and holds the key to the slow burn of taking down what I hoped would become my career? Yeah. That’s some shit I wasn’t prepared for. And I’m fucking pissed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:21 AM
2

I’m trying to believe that before I officially lose the job that I have no more motivation to pour anything into. It’s so fucked. And the best part? I’m literally, almost as we speak, getting to hear about all her career successes and advancements. There’s a cheater for you. Cheating their way through life, as they do. And if it weren’t all random fucking chaos, I’d believe it was pure cruelty.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:56 AM
0

Happy cake day. I’ve been there. I am finally just fucking angry more than sad. It’ll flip again. Maybe a hundred more times. Grief is almost as big of a bitch as she is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:52 AM
6

Damn dude. Nice work.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 10:59 PM
2

Pretty sure all cheaters are exactly the same.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 04:35 AM
3

New phone, who dis… but like, every single time 😂
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 02:31 AM
4

It’s the only way, imo. I have kids/“co-parent” (very loosely used term) with XW and it’s rough. So I try to keep contact to an absolute bare minimum even in that scenario.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 02:06 AM
6

Yep. I honestly wouldn’t expect any differently from a decent man who was cheated on by an awful woman.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:30 PM
4

“She made sure I wasn’t out cheating…” Boy, do I have stories I could write about this right here... Suffice it to say, she was “uncomfortable” with my relationships with other women that I had to work with (and in whom I had zero interest for many reasons, not least of which I am not a fucking cheater) while she was actively out cheating on me with her own coworker. The projection is just one reason I equate cheaters to narcissists and I honestly don’t think I could be convinced otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:18 PM
8

It’s a fancy term for exactly what you are hearing in those divorce group meetings: women “emotionally leaving” their marriages long before actually divorcing, or put another way, women lying, cheating, and betraying their husbands because they were “unhappy” and expected their husbands to read their minds instead of doing the hard work of communicating and fighting for something they said they wanted with men they claimed to love.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:12 PM
10

Oooo see, now how dare you look at her private writings where you had a (correct) suspicion that she was writing all about her affairs because she has the emotional maturity of a pre-teen?!? /s
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:06 PM
20

“Sped up the grief process.” 🙄 No. Those women (and in your case, man) are what I call bald-faced liars now. It even gets its own pretty title for women: “walk away wife syndrome.” As if it isn’t just covert narcissism by any other name. And as you have now seen, the story gets told by endlessly more women until they’re all in those groups nodding along and perpetuating each others’ bullshit. That’s what it is. Total and complete bullshit from the mouths of women who never learned how to be hone…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:06 PM
5

Dude, the heavy bag I got to lay into the first few months was life saving. Visualized and attacked. My knuckles hated me and I never felt better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:45 PM
7

When I think about how much I cared for and thought about and loved my ex-wife, like really sit with it for a while, I realize that she’ll fuck herself over a hundred million times before ever actually being the kind of person that reciprocates love, respect, kindness, time, or forgiveness; and that is how I know she’ll end up miserable for the rest of her terrible life. She had something good - never perfect but truly good - and threw it away for something “better.” Well, good fucking riddance,…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:44 PM
5

I’ve learned to not hold out for karma. Awful people get away with being awful and doing awful shit all the time. Best we can do is let them and be better than they ever will be. I promise you that won’t be too difficult in the long haul.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:39 PM
19

A while before the divorce, I saw him somewhere he shouldn’t have been and the motherfucker hid behind a cardboard cutout like a goddamn cartoon character to avoid me apparently. I’m still angry and hurt by it all, but that moment was pretty funny at least.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:36 PM
6

Dude. “Feminine energy is chaos” might just be a new mantra for me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 09:00 PM
2

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 10:00 PM
3

So. Many. Parallels. I’ve gotta tell you, man, these women (please note that I didn’t say “all” as someone accused me of doing earlier) are completely cruel and EVIL. I have had to come to grips with this reality in both my ex wife and immediately after my divorce, my boss, who is also in the slow process of discarding me like my ex did. It’s awful. I honestly think covert narcissism must live and thrive in a significant portion of the female population for this to be happening as frequently and…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 10:00 PM
1

I got literal chills halfway through skimming this. I’m about to do a deeper dive into your comment in a few, but your situation sounds and feels EXACTLY like mine. I’m sorry, dude.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:44 PM
8

There’s a scene in one of the Madagascar movies that I watched with my kids recently where two of the penguins are getting married, and when the officiate says, “For better or worse,” one of the penguins responds, “For better please!” It made me chuckle, but that’s also how I feel many women enter into their marriage vows. The only difference is they don’t actually say it - but their actions do eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:15 PM
6

I mean, I won’t…and neither will a whole lot of other men after going through the shit of divorce from women like the one in this article who want men to be everything all the time for them but also give no indication whatsoever of what they will “bring” to the relationship. Now, if people were actually allowed to be human in their romantic relationships - which is what I thought marriage was supposed to be (sickness, health, poverty, wealth, better, worse) - then sure, I could see it being bett…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:39 PM
5

I’ve been mulling over this for a little while because I don’t think it is strictly true. I know that’s what the article implies and what I have heard from women, but then I see an actual pattern in which most women I know can’t actually be alone… The ones who cheat clearly can’t be alone… The ones who don’t cheat but are out in the market or divorcing with their demands for these expectations clearly don’t want to be alone but also can’t seem to find “the one” that will scratch every relational…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:23 PM
11

See, I really do wish it were that simple. Unfortunately, I feel those words are often loaded with hidden meaning, too. At the end of the day, there wasn’t enough quality time, sexual satisfaction, emotional support, friendship, etc. etc. etc. that would have been enough for my ex-wife to feel “cherished” and “safe.” Because as soon as she decided she was “done,” and left me for other men while we were still married, the story changed immediately. I went from being a good husband, a provider, a …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:07 PM
17

Having grown up in probably a similar context, here’s what we are taught as “young men” in line with the fuller list of expectations from the article to those of us who have lived it: Be kind but rugged. Available but not needy. Emotionally intelligent but not personally emotional. Mentally and physically healthy but not over the top with your looks or mind. Have the exact same values but expect to compromise anytime they don’t align. Be ambitious and hardworking but don’t work too much and be c…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:46 PM
8

I pretty much live in the grass now, my friend. Nice attempt to completely undermine the actual conversation, though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 09:19 PM
13

I mean they can call me whatever they want. I am a volcel. Voluntary Celibate, probably now for life. Because this shit is an actual fucking joke and some of us see through the absolute façade of faux feminism headed up by Taylor Swift, TikTok, and hoards of divorced female “friends” who all pretend to be better than they ever actually were to the men they fucked over in their marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 09:01 PM
14

Too late. Lol I never even started and this is a lot of the reason why. I was married to a woman for 15 years who said I was all of these things at some point along the way, and then at the end, essentially told me that all I ever was, and I quote, was, “A good father.” I know better now, but I had to untangle a whole lot of accusations and bullshit that I never could have imagined coming from the woman to whom I dedicated my entire life. In the end, she used my “intelligence” against me. She us…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:57 PM
8

Mindfuck doesn’t even begin to describe what these awful fucking cheating women do to destroy the people who loved them. In some ways, I think I will forever be fucked in the head because of her. How do you trust any woman again knowing that so many of them pull this exact same vile shit?
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 02:52 PM
5

Yep. 100% of the time. My cheating ex told me all the reasons she did what she did. And of course I was the whole problem, right? So not only did she cheat and tell me she wanted a divorce because I was too difficult for her to handle, she then blamed and accused me (for some things I outright didn’t do), just so she could justify her actions and “get away” from the person who loved, cherished, and took care of her for 16 years. I don’t know that I can be convinced that cheaters aren’t narcissis…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 01:43 PM
15

Honestly? I think you “stop hoping for one and accept the other” when you come to grips with the lifelong consequences of your actions to both cheat on and then separate/divorce from the person who likely loved you regardless of how imperfect she seemed to be in your relationship. You likely destroyed her mentally and emotionally in ways you will never understand. Grow in empathy and respect her boundaries. That’s all you can (and probably should) do at this point. Source: I am the betrayed ex-h…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 04:22 AM
1

No no no, I think it’s his ex wife’s AP’s ex-wife’s AP’s wife. Infidelity inception. 😆
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:51 AM
19

Sixteen years together and I never could have imagined the affairs, the divorce, where I have ended up even today, a year and a half post DDay. I’ve never experienced anything like it and hope I never have to again. It’s grief compounded with trauma compounded with rage compounded with paranoia and everything in between. And that is with therapy, physical activity, kids half the time, not jumping into dating, trying to find hobbies, making friends, etc. etc. etc.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 02:28 AM
2

I’m so sorry, man. No advice. Just solidarity.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 09:11 PM
11

Yep, this. “Emotional intelligence” is bullshit coming from the mouth of a cheating woman.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 03:33 AM
3

That’s just it. Most guys won’t actually process or encourage the feelings. We have, by and large, been told and/or shown that we are not allowed to, even (sometimes especially) by other dudes. “Get wrecked. Get fit. Get laid. Get rich.” Ad infinitum. I am more than a year post-separation and a few months post divorce, and I still fall apart pretty regularly. Process your feelings, my man. Work intentionally through them instead of trying to plow through them mindlessly. I can’t promise it’ll ma…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:23 AM
2

Yep, reading again later has helped me see both how far I have come and how FUCKED all of this was.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:22 PM
2

Oh, and for context, 15 years here, too. She was in another state with the second(?) guy she left me for on the day our divorce was finalized (over a phone conference) just two weeks shy of our 16th. What a fucking life, man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:55 PM
4

I am more regulated now than I was a year ago. I still have days and weeks of falling apart. A few months post divorce. A little over a year post separation. Shit gets really lonely and tough and hard to believe even still, but I took the hard road of not dating, not having sex, getting quiet and alone every other week (shared custody situation), embracing single life, and trying to heal and grow and be someone I can love for myself and for my kids. I do tend to drink too much, my eating and sle…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:45 PM
7

What I’ve learned is that these women will do anything they can and hurt literally anyone in their path to “get away.” But it’s not actually about getting away, is it? It’s about getting “their way.” Much like unregulated toddlers mentally. That’s how my XW always acted. And eventually came the cheating. The accusations. The incessant lies. The gaslighting. The mental and emotional wreckage. Even her question that I will never forget that had no basis whatsoever, but was clearly projection: “Do …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:27 PM
7

This thread makes me so sad and mad and validated all at once. It feels like we really are all living the same life at the end of the day. Social media addicted women turned cheating wife divorcees because the perfection they demanded from their husbands was not only unreasonable, it was never actually reciprocated. And yet, they get to escape to a life of “freedom” where our kids’ lives are forever changed, our hearts are forever maimed, and they walk away scott free because the truth is, they …
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:30 PM
2

Yep. 💯
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 01:28 PM
1

Seems their playbook really has been written, published, marketed, and distributed at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:15 AM
10

I’ve long seen TikTok and other SM as the monsters they are. It’s why Reddit is my last platform to boot. My ex quit therapy mid-divorce because she knew better than her therapist, while very wisely and maturely (/s) using a TikTok personality’s videos against me and telling me all about emotional intelligence... While actively cheating on me. Many of these women lack social, emotional, and self awareness to the extent that they lie, cheat, and leave with no remorse, empathy, or expectation of c…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:48 PM
3

Yeah, thanks. It’ll never not hurt probably, but at least I can be honest with myself about who she is now or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 09:48 PM
3

Mine cried that her first AP was emotionally intelligent before telling me that didn’t mean I wasn’t (lol, talk about a mind fuck) and then leaving that AP for another one shortly after... My best guess is that the D skills must have been more important in the end than the EQ ones.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 06:48 PM
18

What I find telling is how often you will get downvoted and/or bullied out of speaking by people who - through their actions if not their words - claim to have cornered the market on “emotional intelligence.” I think it is also telling that men (no, not “all”) are regularly discarded in LTRs and marriages for being “emotionally unavailable” while women (again, not “all”) do what? Emotionally leave their relationships silently while claiming to have “begged” for change along the way? In my case t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:02 PM
6

Heh, my ex-wife tried to get me into couples therapy after cheating on me, so I told her to go on and set it up then… which naturally led to her wanting the divorce that I then had to push through to finalization. Because the truth is, I knew then exactly what I see here: joint therapy was only going to be a way for her to blindside me in front of another person, and I wasn’t having it. I’ve been in individual all along, though, which has been invaluable. But I’d never do couples’ with people li…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 05:25 AM
20

Divorce was finalized a few months ago from my cheating ex-wife of 15 years. Been on the up and up recently. Now I’m going through hell at work (about to lose my job) and had to spend most of the day with her for my kids’ sake. I am now just so fucking sad all over again. I haven’t cried in over a month but broke down again tonight after the day finally ended. I am sorry bro, I fucking hate all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 05:55 AM
6

Cheated? Yes. My issues? Not enough to ever justify her cheating. It’s pretty much that simple for me now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:39 AM
9

They’re fucking delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 02:43 PM
13

I caught my ex-wife’s boyfriend (while we were still married) hiding behind a cardboard cutout... I was totally fucking with them because I knew she was lying to me. I would absolutely do it again 100x because of the laughter I got out of the cartoon-like nature of that moment… but then I was just, you know, falling apart and dying inside (also not at all a person who would ever cause another person physical harm). Cheaters are the fucking worst.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 03:47 AM
3

I had a mutual friend with my ex who I helped get married and who consequently helped my wife get divorced from me. Talk about a total and complete mind fuck lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 04:16 AM
8

Heyyy, almost middle aged millennial cheating wives ftw ✊🏽
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 06:47 AM
8

Yeah, mine said, “I don’t owe you anything after the word ‘divorce’” about her … actions. Basically the week after she said she wanted one. I reminded her on more than one occasion that we were not divorced yet because she loved to pretend we were the moment she said the word. That shit was so hurtful and intentional. But hey, it’s over now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 02:06 PM
5

Ahh yes, dude, my home is SO much cleaner now. And when it’s not, I’m like, damn, I’ve been messy, lolz. And I clean. I rarely hear people talk about the ease of living alone after all you’ve ever known is living completely and totally for someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 04:01 AM
4

Damn… I just watched two of Leblanc’s videos and I gotta tell you, having been fairly inexperienced in relationships prior to (and after) my ex, I honestly just kind of thought this must be how women are. Now I just feel… disturbed. Some of that was so spot on it is scary.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:27 AM
4

Hell yeah. 💪🏽
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 10:38 PM
5

Dude. The BACK RUBS. I am starting to think that at the end of the day, these women are just users and abusers. How we all have the same story, situated among women like the one here justifying the cheating, abuse, and abandonment is a total and complete mind fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 10:37 PM
3

I’ve never wept so hard in my life as I did those first few months of being away and being completely alone. Sometimes I still do. But now? Now, the silence and solitude have become some of my best friends... It does get better, even though that sentiment is frustrating and completely empty at times, too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 05:35 AM
2

Thanks for the bible and language lessons. I never studied those at all. /s I also didn’t know the Jesus who supposedly existed spoke Greek primarily. I thought it would have been Aramaic... In which case, he probably didn’t actually say “teleios” either. Anyway, no, I definitely stand by what I said. Religion is a major part of the problem. But more specifically for the West, Christianity.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 02:18 AM
2

Bro. Religion is the whole problem. Okay, maybe not the whole problem, but a very large part of it, societally and otherwise. I see men here often talking about god and other religious mumbo jumbo (truly no offense meant here), but I have come to realize that marriage and family and all the other bullshit that comes from Christianity is just that: total and complete bullshit. We’re told to “man up.” Be the “head of the household.” But don’t be TOO much in charge because then we are controlling. …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 05:31 AM
4

Yep. Same. At this point, I’d rather just live (and die) alone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 04:23 PM
2

Oddly enough, I had the tiniest flicker of a moment of thinking you were trying to sell me your services and then I was like, nah, that’s a good dude. So yeah, I could tell. Thanks for the kindness.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 01:02 AM
5

First birthday since the separation and divorce. Funny enough that I didn’t learn my lesson after she told me she wanted a divorce a few days before it last year. Yeah. Hurts like hell. Thanks, man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 10:24 PM
8

Thanks for this. You said ten years ago and you have since recovered, and I imagined it took every bit of that long because of where I am sitting right now. I am a year out from her announcing divorce after her affair and now a few months post-finalization. And she forgot my birthday until my kids reminded her about it. She doesn’t know that I know that. It doesn’t matter. But it does, doesn’t it? It matters so goddamn much to me. I never realize how much hope still lives in me until it gets cru…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 10:15 PM
4

Former Christian here, so I might disagree with you on a LOT. BUT NOT THIS. This is pure, unfortunately hard-won wisdom. Listen to this man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 04:08 AM
9

Could’ve written this myself almost word for word save for the age. I’m sorry, man. Shit is terrible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:57 PM
2

This imagery is fucking hilarious to me. And incredibly relatable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:49 PM
15

I want all of you here to realize that we have been conditioned for YEARS, some of us DECADES, to believe that men are the problem one hundred percent of the time. If confronted by a bear or one of us in the woods…right? So, when it came time for the women who claimed to love and cherish us to cheat and leave, it wasn’t actually a very far step at all for them in the direction of accusing us all of abuse regardless of the actual truth. So many men here have talked about her commentary on “my tru…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 03:48 PM
2

Yeah, I basically let her have the narrative from the beginning. The way I see it: I have nothing to lose that she didn’t already take from me anyway. She ruined my relationships early on and throughout. She destroyed me financially and made me feel like speaking up at any capacity was being controlling. She kept me on her string sexually/physically (and right before disposing of me told me as much before calling it a “joke”). My own power has come from not giving a shit about my reputation and …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 05:43 AM
4

I’m not naive enough to believe the whole “women think with emotions and men with rationality” argument. I think in many ways, I am more emotional than my ex-wife ever has been - to a major fault, no doubt. I was the romantic. I was the lover. And I am willing to bet that a large number of men here would admit to the same if they were pressed on it. I also find that her level of calculation may be unmatched. And I can be a pretty calculating SOB sometimes. I do agree, however, that the whole con…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 05:32 AM
21

I am divorced now, and yes, exactly what happened. She quite literally re-wrote not only our entire relationship and history together (a long and generally good one at that), she re-wrote me in order to write me completely out of her own heart, mind, and life. I am honestly still devastated. Maybe always will be. The accusations - almost word for word what you have here and then some - have completely uprooted my confidence and desire to ever be in another romantic relationship. Heartbreaking do…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 09:58 PM
2

Second this! Decorated. Clean. Cozy. Art on the walls. Furniture. Books around the place. The whole thing. I love my space. And the best part of all: it is MINE.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 05:12 AM
10

I’m so tired of reading this bullshit. These women are fucking sick.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:55 AM
5

Just a thought, but maybe you should just… be angry.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:51 AM
9

Cheaters are the best at mental gymnastics. It’s how they get there in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 12:56 AM
8

Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 12:56 AM
0

Bitch. There. Finished it for you. For your sake, I hope you can come to hate her at least half as much as you hate yourself. They are awful.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 06:31 PM
2

The only right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:52 AM
5

They’re literally all the same: cookie cutter versions of everything they hear from TikTok, Taylor Swift, and totally neutral (/s) sources (a.k.a. other divorced women). Big surprise. But also, don’t you dare call her on any of that either because she is an independent woman who doesn’t need anyone to influence her decisions and life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:46 AM
7

You did lose a loved one, my friend. And you absolutely need to grieve that loss for a while, however long it might take. There is no timeline. There is no playbook. There is only what is right in front of you right now. Make new friends or lean on old ones. Feel everything as it comes. Don’t rush into sex and/or relationships. Get comfortable being completely alone. It doesn’t necessarily get easier, but it does get better. Coming from someone who was in your exact same shoes almost a year ago …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:39 AM
3

At the end, just about equal parts devastated and relieved. It’s been weird.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 02:37 AM
2

This is it right here. I never wanted it, but I could never go back. It’s a pretty bizarre place to be.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 12:32 PM
2

You mean she is honest and has set clear boundaries? How many of us wouldn’t even be on this goddamn thread if we had a woman like that in our lives?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 10:18 PM
1

Haha! Yessss
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 10:17 PM
5

Bro is trying to get her on a felony charge for finding apparently problematic texts between himself and another woman... What conclusion did I jump to, exactly?
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 03:02 AM
8

Translation: I cheated on my wife and need to know if I can reverse uno card her so that I can ruin her the rest of the way instead of taking a shred of accountability for my own shitty actions. Come on, man. Wow.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 02:50 AM
5

💯 I honestly think they were narcs all along… we just didn’t see the signs or know what to look for. We were too busy loving these women who didn’t know how to love us back. The built up resentment, lack of communication, monstrous accusations, cheating, projecting, lying, gaslighting… I spend so much of my alone time now going back through the “memories” that led up to the betrayals and bullshit, and what I remember and see now from this side is pretty telling.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:24 PM
7

They are terrible, aren’t they? I’m amazed at how many of these women have “emotional affairs” because they aren’t getting “what they need.” But, just like with you and OP, there is such an abundance of evidence that you can “step up,” change, grow, “work on yourself,” and fulfill every other bullshit cliche in the book, but if she wants out, there’s not a GD thing any of us could do about it. Except, sit with yourself, get really quiet and alone, and remember the truth. It isn’t you. It is her.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 10:48 AM
2

Heh heh well yeah mine too… but yeah, agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 08:40 PM
0

“[Women] aren’t saying no for some manipulation tactic.” Have you ever known a woman to use sex as a manipulation tactic, positively or negatively? Is using sex as a manipulation tactic abusive or not?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 06:50 AM
0

No, of course it’s not. Please do clarify.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 06:02 AM
0

Talk about an over-generalization. Wow. In other news: men cannot be abused.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 05:57 AM
1

Since you seem to know all about this, please do be very specific. What does “change” that is acceptable to a woman in a LTR look like, exactly? What does “parenting” a husband mean to you? Because some of us didn’t weaponize incompetence, some of us did actively pursue our wives, some of us were present and found ourselves cheated on and treated just like you are talking about here but with no real, honest evidence of the treatment of them that you are referring to… So, please, enlighten the me…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 05:53 AM
4

Heh, you sound like a typically bitter ex-wife that takes no responsibility for her own actions. But congratulations on your freedom won at the expense of another person’s heart, energy, life, finances, and [checks notes] oh yeah, freedom… I know you must feel wonderful and fulfilled now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 09:02 PM
13

Funny story: I was the one setting up dates, trips, seeking quality time, etc. for us. There are many other men here who have acknowledged the same of their relationships. She even tried to use this excuse (among many others) in her justification for leaving, until I reminded her how I worked to do this and was met with complaining and belittling, to the point that she even acknowledged this was the case. So yeah, I’m calling total bullshit. If you have a wife who stays because you “still date h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 08:55 PM
6

My god. Dude, I’m sorry, but how in the actual FUCK are we all simultaneously living in the same goddamn worst possible timeline in almost the exact same storyline? Christ. Hang in there, man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 02:03 AM
6

True narcissists. The projection and gaslighting are uncanny.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 01:25 AM
6

This was my STBX to the actual letter. Every excuse in the book. Then she cheated. Blamed me. Accused me. And demanded a divorce. A twisted mind fuck that I honestly could have never seen coming. And I still thought it was possible to love someone through this shit. I was so wrong. Please just do it while you’re in this place. She will likely only do better for someone else at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:30 PM
5

Grief, man. Fucking blows. Try to remember how you felt 2.5 years ago. And just look how far you’ve come. You will be okay. But allow yourself the pain and tears when they come. And remember: 3 years of (I assume more than) 7 is still less than half of the time, energy, care, love, hope, and respect you poured your whole self (heart, body, mind) out for someone who disposed of you with the flip of a switch. Who does that? A self-centered and ultimately hollow shell of a person. A narcissist. Som…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 05:40 AM
3

Thanks, man. I needed to read this today.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:05 PM
3

It helps me a little to be validated in the fact that she is still technically cheating since the divorce isn’t finalized and she has taken her sweet time with it. She pulled some shit at the very beginning of the process to make it feel like I would be a terrible person to get into another relationship, too. While bouncing from one to the next like I was nothing more than a bad memory to her. The woman I loved for approaching two decades. Narcissism knows no bounds.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:40 PM
9

I cried before bed, fell asleep, and then dreamt of my STBX with her new boyfriend that she hasn’t even told me about. Again. It’s fucked. Plain and simple.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:37 PM
2

This made me laugh. Thanks, dude.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:11 AM
6

The patterns are INSANE.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:09 AM
5

Just here to add a voice of reason and kindness to the many others you’ve already seen/heard. You will be okay. Get comfortable being alone. Actually, get uncomfortable with it first. It sucks at times. But you need those alone moments to remember. How you have been treated. Maybe how you acted. The whole truth. Not just the part you like and not just the part she tells. Once you get there, you will start to learn a shit ton about yourself and the world around you. Absolutely connect with people…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:07 AM
3

Damn. Golden response.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:54 AM
2

Cry. Write. Read. Cook. Watch TV. Play video games. Take a walk. Take an unnecessary shower. Clean. Reorganize. The main thing: live in the moment. It’s honestly all you can do. Ride the wave of grief, let it have its way with you, wash your face, and keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 05:15 AM
2

Ha. Ha. I didn’t even read the original post until after reading your meddling comment, and let me just tell you... I sided with my STBXW against my own parents. Cut off and disowned not a few people in her favor because of how they treated her. Put her first in everything I did. Fifteen years later, she found enough fault with me even from that time in our marriage/lives to betray, blame, accuse, and leave me. I am convinced, at the end of the day, that what we do or don’t do does not matter at…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 06:15 PM
3

Triple reverse uno into a FUCK YOU. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:27 AM
5

There was a time I asked her to bring something to me while I was at work. Not only did she conveniently forget the one thing I asked for, she got mad at me for being later than I thought I’d be because I was still working my ass off when she showed up. It’s telling that I’m never even concerned that my stories would reach her vision because she also won’t ever remember what she did or how she acted. Turns out there was another man already at that time, too. Surprised? Yeah. Me neither.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 09:13 PM
4

Well, with a username like that, you should really give solitude a good go first. 🙃
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 05:35 PM
3

You know, I always wonder… And I’ve read things where I’m like, no maybe not. Or actually, maybe I was that. And then I remember these moments, always so subtle and imperceptible - until I sit with them and turn them over and recognize them for what they were.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 04:53 PM
3

There’s a philosophy book I have been reading and studying over the past few months from a variety of authors called, Against Happiness. I have long had this feeling that happiness as a definitive category is so elusive that, when you think you’ve finally found it, evades your grasp once again and leaves you more destitute than the last time you thought you found it. So, to be fair, the book is more like confirmation bias than profound insight. But it is helpful to consider that maybe happiness …
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 12:53 AM
8

All the time. And I’ve also heard horror stories so much worse than mine. No need to compare, OP. It fucking sucks, and honestly, at least in my own estimation, there truly isn’t a feeling much worse… I have been “healing” and yet, even today, one small irrelevant text or memory or realization takes me right back to that gut kick of feeling worthless and destroyed all over again. They say time heals all wounds, but I’m not sure it does. I think we just learn to experience them better. So here’s …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 08:30 PM
1

Wouldn’t
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 09:23 PM
3

Damn, OP, I have to admit, if I were that guy, with everything you have said, I’d love to believe that I’d be head-over-heels and ready to move on past my ex and with you. I say this because I truly think you sound amazing and should not take this situation as being anything you can or should change. Because I have to be honest with you. Everyone saying that he isn’t ready is 100% right. I’m 9 months out of 16 years and made the conscious decision to not date, not sleep around, basically take on…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 05:04 PM
2

Fellow solitaries! ✊🏼
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 03:37 PM
9

Damn, I’m sorry for your loss…well here: go girl! Divorce his ass!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 12:32 AM
3

Why does it feel like trying to be good or even just decent men who “always believe women” is a very dangerous place for us to be? I’m so sad and concerned for how things are right now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 03:38 AM
3

Or, to follow in the footsteps of the guy before this: just get yourself a nice juicy rib. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 05:34 AM
3

The similarities among these stories are so fucking insane.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 03:01 PM
2

Hey, that’s exactly like mine, too!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 03:01 PM
1

Yep, feeling every ounce of this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:39 PM
2

I’m here for this conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 01:01 AM
2

Mine said this to me almost word-for-word. Who says shit like this to another human being? Apparently cheating spouses do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 05:26 PM
4

Couldn’t sleep a wink last night, for the first time in more than half a year not because of who I miss but because I have been ferociously learning who she actually is and has been all along. It feels like stepping into a different reality altogether.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 05:25 PM
5

I mean, if it had just been a breakup, I feel I would have been able to process and at least start moving past it a long time ago. The fact that I had children with the woman who hurt me as badly as she has, who has treated this divorce like nothing more than a breakup herself, and to have people who have clearly not experienced divorce and heartbreak like this even refer to it as “a breakup”…I think that’s one of the hardest parts for me. Still.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 08:50 PM
6

This is the answer. And 100% what I have gone through. I’m honestly so sad at how prevalent this has become… Listen to this man. And please learn how to sit with yourself. Do not fear being alone and practice it before you have to commit to it. Crying alone can be so helpful because falling apart in front of your STBX is humiliating - even if it shouldn’t be - when you continue to learn and experience how terrible she really is to/for you now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 05:20 PM
2

I’ve come back to this post (both mentally and physically) multiple times now. I don’t often do that. But I have also gone back in time to text threads where I essentially told her she was doing this. And her response was almost always some flippant variation of the same: “Okay.” I think the whole reason there’s no coming back from this is because she cannot - and refuses to - see you in any other light than the one she is shining to herself and to the people in her life, not least of all the pe…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 11:23 PM
4

If this post teaches you anything at all, it is that your wife cannot be honest with you. Mine told me repeatedly that I “am not the villain” in her story. While she repeatedly made me out to be the villain that pushed her into the arms of other men and toward the divorce she waited to file while she did.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 09:36 PM
3

Yes. It is emotional and verbal abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 09:32 PM
9

Fucking played. 😔 It still feels so unreal.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 04:57 AM
1

Just took a two-mile walk. We’ll all be okay. Somehow, someway.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 05:18 AM
9

Some bitch, that ex wife…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:45 AM
12

Well, Jesus.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:04 AM
6

Jesus. I’m sorry. Fresh is an understatement, too.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 04:03 AM
5

Thanks for sharing your stories with me here. Sometimes I feel so alone in this, and yet, I know there are so many of us that share so many similarities - sometimes it’s even scary. Anyway, I hope there is healing at the end of this for all of us. Somehow, someway.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:01 AM
3

That part is crazy... Being lied to relentlessly about just about everything.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:33 AM
3

This last year was brutal in every possible way. Especially the holidays. And when I’m in a clearer headspace, every once in a while, it feels like coming out of whiplash.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:15 AM
4

Damn. I wrote the first part of this almost word for word in my journal today.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:13 AM
2

I feel that. 😔
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 12:39 AM
5

I’m amazed at how many of our stories sound the same.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 08:45 PM
14

The coworker? The co-parenting? The emotional destruction? The gut-wrenching accusations?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 12:54 AM
3

Are you…me? WTF. Anyway, just saying, I truly don’t think it’ll serve anything to say anything. Might as well just do your best to try to move on with the lies and bullshit behind you as best as you can at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:52 PM
2

Yep. Pretty much same. Difference is she told me what she thought of me at the end, too. Destroys me still. Now I’m trying to figure out my way through the divorce process without crying everyday. Six months so far. 👌🏽
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:51 AM
11

So, listen, I am 6 months in to separation, divorce process finally underway, after 16 years with the woman I love(d) who already seems to be so much happier now without me and with another/other(s). I can’t promise it will get better. It hasn’t felt like it ever will and I’m not even into the weeds of the actual court system yet. But a few things that have “helped” a bit along the way: I deleted social media almost right away (didn’t even block her, just completely removed myself; a mental heal…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 03:37 PM
2

SAME. Jesus.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 05:20 AM
3

Process often states you can back out after beginning the filing… That said, be cautious about a 180° - or holding onto any hope about her at all - if that is even a real possibility. Chances are she may change for a moment but not long term. I’d recommend finding men who have been through it and can help you remember who she has been to you for what seems like a good long while now. If she changes, is it just because she’s become uncomfortable with where her own decisions have led her?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:53 AM
1

Am I the only one who hears “ex wife’s new partner” and gets sick to my stomach still? Like, does this actually get better?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:43 AM
1

Wife of 15. Six months later, my chest still hurts. I’m sorry, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:36 AM
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