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Lolita_Loquita Archive

View 6 posts and 214 comments by Lolita_Loquita on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

A guy that I know was actually able to name the exact flowers that would be at the wedding. I don't know his fiancee so asked him the details and he knew everything. Now that is not to say that he is a HVM because there's other stuff I know about him, but it was definitely a surprise that he knew the details.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:32 PM
37

Why are pickmes so offended by the word scrotes? I've literally heard an adult man call a woman a slit. As in the slit between her legs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 03:37 AM
14

Just a lazy mofo without consideration for anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:02 AM
35

I actually ended up having my tubes removed right after. It's going to weed all that crap out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:00 AM
348

I've only lived with one and we had an agreement on how we would divide specific tasks. Never happened. He literally would leave a piece of trash NEXT TO THE TRASH CAN. Plus he wanted to talk me out of my childfree status. When I told him I couldn't see it based on basic chores for himself he started that he needed more time to learn those habits. Fool is in his 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:52 PM
16

Problem is that they are alone but they are so damn loud that it seeps through my walls even though we don't even share any. She invited me to a party a while back and was trying to show off about how her bfs friends love her because she knows how to cook. I'll admit she's a great cook but she was giving it importance based on dudes, you know what I mean? Like, do they even like her as a person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 03:59 AM
24

Or scrolling through your phone imagining how easy it all looks from a 2 minute sped up video. 💪you go girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 03:55 AM
55

My neighbors are probably the same age (40s?) but whenever he's around she speaks in a baby voice and calls him daddy. When he gets home he says "daddy's home". They may be the same age but "age play" still says something about a person. Yeah that's me kink shaming I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 02:29 AM
174

I used to say that I would never kick a man in the balls even in self defense because it wasn't fair that men were burdened with that kind of pain. Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:47 AM
128

I bet you this guy buys tools to look manly but they are still sitting unused in the garage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:32 PM
10

There's that joke that poly folk always find a way to bring up their eThIcAl nOnMoNoGaMy in any conversation like it makes them woke or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:05 AM
6

I was in an "ethical monogamous relationship"and knew others that labeled their's as such. Just because people throw the word ethical into the mix doesn't make it so. All the cheating and lying that exists even though you have "permission" is insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:03 AM
25

Most of the poly folk that I've met are bored white people that need something to be oppressed about when being a POC or gay doesn't apply to them. I've actually known someone that used the term "coming out". It's gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:45 AM
6

Even if you do end up liking it you still have to go through "anal training" which still involves a decent amount of pain. So yeah, let's "do it properly" with the unavoidable pain in case we might like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:15 AM
9

All the years of grown ass men harassing us on the streets starting as soon as we hit puberty. I've been harassed since I was at least 13, but sexually abused since 4. But we're asking for it right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:12 AM
9

I've been feeling hopeless about this type of thing but this article was refreshing and I was glad to see that some young women aren't falling for this shit anymore. There's such a long way to go but I'll take this small win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:10 AM
9

Right! Even in that "Friends with Benefits" movie they end up together I think. I haven't watched that movie but have seen others that have this plot line. The men have that example of how a relationship can evolve yet they are too tainted by porn and it just cancels that lesson out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:05 AM
6

But sEx pOsItIvItY right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:02 AM
8

Day 1 of fully letting go of a trauma bond is effin hard. It won't be easy for a while but you've got thousands of chicks to support you here. Sending you the positive vibes that some ladies in here shared with me a few months back. Pay it forward when you are ready :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:05 AM
21

Not even just from their teen years. Their "taste" evolves to ridiculous shit. I've seen "The Ring" porn. I kid you not. Samara comes out of the TV and fucks a dude. Isn't she supposed to be like 10 in the movie?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:38 AM
21

The barely legal ones are extra depressing. I teach at a high school and some of my female students have grown into what those "barely legal" women look like. I look at them and think about how much they are going to be exploited and I'm so limited in how I can address these issues without parents coming at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:32 AM
34

The demisexual and sapiosexual labels have been confusing to me. Like, do we need names for enjoying sex with someone that has more than a body to offer? I feel like that makes casual sex the default and anything more too much to ask for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 01:29 AM
15

So excited that Dr. Queen Dines graced us with her presence again! Today I learned the difference between "feeling empowered" and actually "being empowered." Thank you all for your this very important work. Edit to add that your podcasts give us the tools to advocate in a more educated way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:19 PM
25

It basically feels like listening to my friends as I get ready for work on Wednesday mornings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:16 PM
27

Dude, my nephew (21) bought my sister pads the other day as just a regular part of his shopping. Since 3 different households were meeting for my mom's bday he actually asked everyone if they needed anything while he was running an errand at Target. That husband is a pos. He has a daughter and we all know that he's not going to be there for her either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:48 PM
7

I'm officially sold on supporting the Patreon. I have loved (almost) all of the episodes. This one definitely cleared up the air in regard to the education episode and I appreciate that you all took the time to justify some of your decisions AND showed how you have grown since the episode in question. That kind of interaction between The Podcast Señoritas and the audience is gold. I'm also super looking forward to seeing you all go through with your plans for the podcast. I'm dying to find a spa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:49 PM
25

This is the garbage that fucks up young women into thinking that they can't trust older women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:55 PM
99

That's why scrotes invented it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:51 PM
8

I brought up in a conversation with a female co-worker that I was a feminist and she replied, "Really? I couldn't tell?" She later went on to explain that she preferred to be "traditional." When I further enquired (actually trying to learn her pov) she tells her story about being a simple parent because her dead beat sperm donor never stepped up. Anyway, it's old that this term keeps getting treated like some disease or personality fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:55 PM
3

Because a pick-me's conditioning will have her thinking that she's won something by being able to check off all the boxes in some bum's shit list of "high value" qualities in a woman. I'm afraid it works sometimes. Source: Former "not like other girls" chick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:49 PM
11

LVM always equating attitude to boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:44 PM
31

Dang, I thought I had it bad with the male "friend" that hadn't texted me in months then after 24 hours of me not replying threw a pity party asking if I was mad at him and to let him know if he shouldn't contact me again. He was so dramatic about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:32 AM
6

Hearing Dr. Dines say that she is going to spread the word about FDS literally gave me goosebumps. I'm having my friend's teen daughter listen to this because she's already been exposed to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 06:19 PM
29

I teach teens and a scrote that was "flirting" asked me if I was making the boys' dreams come true. They like to complain about the double standard of teacher-student rape yet they are the ones perpetuating it. ​ Edit to add: Gossip Girl pulled the same stint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 09:54 PM
31

We're collecting checks because we're working. Do you work for free? How about instead of blaming people in the profession you blame the system that devalues mothers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:18 AM
31

I had to scroll back up. Worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:17 AM
10

I was literally thinking about that verse this week and how it applies to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:16 AM
31

I used to think I was cool for listening to Howard Stern. That pedo can eat my poo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:31 PM
47

Ask them why dogs are better and it's always that they love you unconditionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:30 PM
76

Admiration for Elon Musk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:28 PM
173

I got you girl ☕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:24 PM
34

I've never been able to feel mine so I stopped checking. The doctors always say I'm fine though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:03 PM
28

No, but now that you've said it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:23 PM
12

Saaaaaame. I've been dreading going through my photos from the past 2 years because I did some traveling with a dude and I'm pretty sure he's in a good chunk of them. Thankfully I also did a ton of traveling on my own so not all have been contaminated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:20 PM
4

My bad, it should be HVW= high value woman. I'm still working on not calling women female.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:24 PM
19

My hair has been a huge thing I'm working on for your same goal because it's something that was taught to me as conventional beauty. I recently shaved the side of my head and I let my long wavy hair get frizzy instead of wasting time on trying to look for clean with perfectly styled curls. My wavy hair is a part of my personality and I need to stop trying to tame it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:37 AM
20

Damn girl you found my house! I am working on moving up from newbie status though. Im here for the tough love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:07 AM
98

I used to never use that language but recently I call all the women in my life queens and sis because we're put down on such a regular basis that it's important to remember that we're all in it together and the sisterhood has your back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:59 PM
4

Between jerking off these guys are just waiting for something to be angry about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:11 PM
7

I'd say that's still on topic because it's about how everyday things are named needlessly around sexual gratification. You know that there are women that have been so sexualized that they will buy the products because they think it makes them sexier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:01 PM
3

I'm new to the rejection of porn so this hadn't crossed my mind yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:59 PM
149

Definitely not a race exclusive issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:12 AM
9

Yeah this concept is new to me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:32 AM
11

She was basically begging him to marry her and after she left him he ended up marrying the next girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:02 AM
28

Ugh, I was so pissed at all the men for calling him a legend and the leader of women's sexual empowerment. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:01 AM
48

Thanks for explaining the etymology. I get that people are trying to be cute but it just isn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 11:56 PM
19

For me it was the opposite. When a woman said the same as the one above after my presentation on it the professor (male) agreed that mutilation has no justification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:12 AM
10

Well it's sort of about dating bc this is some hvw badassery and a good chunk of us are bi. Just saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:24 AM
6

Didn't you know that women being nice means we're inviting men to hit on us? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:42 AM
45

Elsa approves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:55 PM
79

No. Sex without an orgasm ends up feeling like that annoying sneeze that gets stuck and refuses to come out. Frustrating and unsatisfying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:07 AM
129

Ex 2: I hate what Ex 1 did to you. I wish I had the opportunities you gave him. Me: Wish granted. Ex 2: cheats and lies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:39 AM
28

The fact that most have to go through "anal training" says enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:04 AM
29

This was recommended to me by my martial arts instructor when I first got started. You bet your ass that I look at every man with suspicion and am always looking behind my shoulder. It's exhausting to have to live on guard for years but until men step up against shit behavior this is what we have to do. It's bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:24 AM
151

They're probably calling her names because their "kinks" are much worse than liking farts and they feel called out. Random note: my phone autocorrected farts. It's a sign :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 06:33 PM
11

I used to laugh at comments about post nut clarity. Now I understand that they were "funny" for being relatable and that that feeling was telling me that I was feeling shame dile a damn good reason. But then of course that shame felt bad because it meant that I was kink shaming in a way. That term is so problematic and it's still taking me a lot of work to move past it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:00 PM
17

I was having that conversation today with a friend. She said that her sister's wife is bi and she consciously made the choice to only date women because her experiences with men were so bad. I had never felt "lucky" to be bi but I certainly do now that I recognize the low value behavior in almost every man that I know. I even let go of most of my male friends too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:20 AM
3

Im out of articles to read on their site but it's called The Children of Pornhub. It was published in December.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:51 PM
4

Dude, I also started out going with those stupid squiggly channels. Two different friends have teenage daughters and they caught them watching porn. The grooming starts so young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:49 PM
18

There's a ton of that out there. Sometimes if you look closely you can see the woman is in pain because she'll have her hand out trying to push the dude's hips back. It hurts to see it because the guy won't even change it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:34 PM
7

I like how you've shifted your perspective. I'll try the same. Once I found out about rule 34 I had the dumb goal of finding the weirdest thing. I succeeded and now trying to block out the depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:31 PM
6

Have you visited the sub for men writing women? It's sad but just shows how much men don't get women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:29 PM
20

Im ashamed of what I know about porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:13 AM
42

So what do you do? I was picturing past experiences at first but then realized every man I've slept with are nvm it feels wrong to give them that credit. Im trying to learn how to use my imagination now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:10 AM
35

I've gotta add the step mom getting stuck under something and the step soon essentially raping her but then she ends up enjoying it. I can go on for ages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:07 AM
56

And it's still that way now but they've added incest to the mix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:13 AM
138

I felt the exact same way about all those points. They were my "exceptions" as well. To add to it I was a porn addict myself and was getting more intense with what I was watching. I've stopped now after the NYT article came out but it's been harder than I'd like to admit. Anyway, I'm glad that I finally fully accept what FDS represents and I hope that I can successfully spread the word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:12 AM
50

Such a good point. I haven't seen it discussed yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:35 PM
20

And never thank them for a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:29 PM
20

As much as men love to describe him as awesome and wholesome they never actually try to match his traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:04 AM
127

My ex's reason was that "it would be fun to have a mini me running around". He almost convinced me to change my mind about having them (I'm childfree) by saying that of course everything would be 50/50. I moved in with him and that was a fucking lie. I carried the entire mental load y'all. I should have dumped him then but I was blinded by the love bombing. Anyway, he dumped me for that lukewarm McChicken. (I really just needed an excuse to use ops reference)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:29 AM
21

Reddit is truly wonderful for cat subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:40 AM
129

I've been thinking about actually unfollowing this sub because so many screenshots of nvm are posted that it's taking a toll. Im trying to stay open to trusting again after a devastating breakup and the male depravity posts just make me feel like there is no hope. Im a teacher and when I look at my innocent boys I can't help but see future users and abusers. It's such a shame because I love my job but the negativity has permeated it. I want more empowering posts. Im even okay with women talking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:38 AM
65

Which means some loser will call him a simp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:46 PM
4

Im getting my tubes tied next month because living this life is my worst nightmare. Literally every parent I know is miserable. People can call it anecdotal all they want but it's the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:47 AM
327

It's worse. He's the third baby. She had twins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:35 AM
5

Their whole identities are about being poly. They are literally incapable of not bringing it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:18 AM
14

I was baited by a fake bi chick and after I gave her the threesome she wanted her cool points for, she all of a sudden wasn't bi and I was discarded like trash. These are the same people that think that telling people that they're poly is "coming out".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:41 PM
3

Yes! I love their face wash and gel cream. I bought them last winter and have stuck with them. The cool thing is that a little goes a long way so it's not hard on your back account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:32 AM
10

The ones that insist of communicating every little thing but don't actually change their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:38 PM
29

San Diego too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:45 PM
4

To me it's depressing because so many of our sisters are so starved for romance that they happily accept some last minute shit gift from those flower vendors that pop up during this time. I just think of how my brother has been buying his wife flowers every week since they started dating. Now they're married and he still does that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:39 PM
13

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:49 PM
28

I was like that very recently but have had a change of heart. My definition of sexual liberation has fully shifted. It took me getting punched in the gut for it but everything is finally clear now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:49 PM
62

That line stuck out to me too! There are too many men whose humanity is so easily reduced to what they are willing to do for sexual gratification. But then they want to pass it off like a fucking fetish or an uncontrollable addiction. The man that abused me when I was 11 blamed it on some a symbolic dragon that represented the devil and tempted him. I KID YOU FUCKING NOT. Adults pretend it doesn't happen and by the time you realize how angry and psychologically damaged you are, the statute of li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:37 PM
38

I posted a similar one yesterday. Check it out. You'll get a kick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:41 AM
152

I saw this! Luckily some people were calling that bs out in the comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:36 AM
14

There are some pretty good discussions happening on the Buffy sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:43 AM
3

The truth in this is so heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:22 AM
3

There's so much talk about women trapping men but it really is the other way around most of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:25 AM
4

They try to impregnate you while refusing to acknowledge the financial hit to the woman and have the audacity to reject the wage gap. I hate the term "allowance" for these women that give up their careers to stay at home to raise the children. Argh I can go on forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:43 PM
97

There were a few values I didn't share at first: who pays, being poly, and watching porn. I was convinced that my " HVM partner" and I were above these things but let me tell you that the only reason this guy stuck around was because of the poly part. After he kept violating my boundaries I wanted to be monogamous and he dropped me in a literal second even though we were discussing marriage. Lesson is, don't ever believe your exception is special because all of this has been designed to vet thos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 02:46 PM
27

"At the time" . That truth stings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 01:56 PM
38

Exactly, the hers are all about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:32 AM
69

A gajillion dollars says that she ended up planning the whole date as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:30 AM
108

/s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:24 AM
221

Women should be sexually empowered except mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:30 AM
28

I was living under a rock for 2 years and blamed my mental health for this because he told me I was too sensitive or overreacting. After he dumped I started to make a list of the times that I was being "irrational" and discovered that those were perfectly things to be upset about. I had to stop adding to the list because it was painful to see how much this person gaslit me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 09:29 PM
11

They are not favorite couple but I was feeling salty about Randall when he was running for office and expected Beth to do whatever he needed and ignore her own thing. I love his journey but Beth has been paying second fiddle for a while and I'm not down with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:38 PM
10

Jack was an amazing human being but I can't let go of the fact that Rebecca was an unhappy stay at home mom. Remember how he acted after she tried to launch her singing career after the kids were older? He shat on the one thing that gave her joy outside of being a mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:36 PM
22

I bet you that before you beat him he thought it was cute that his gf was into gaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 03:07 PM
144

Oh man do I have a story. My ex and I met through martial arts and one day we had to spar and I beat him in front of a lot of people. I unintentionally made it look "movie cool" so of course everyone cheered. That sore ass loser did not talk to me for the rest of the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:10 AM
23

Tell him. He'll do it again. Tell him again. Now you're nagging or bipolar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:55 AM
245

I love how confident you are in your statement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:45 AM
28

I don't have experience with the swirler movement either and I am also somewhat hesitant to date white men because I feel like one of the reasons that the last one dated me was to gain "woke" points. He always denied it but when I chose not to attend his family's Thanksgiving dinner after learning that they voted for Trump a second time he tried to convince me to go even though I was clear about how uncomfortable I would feel as a WOC in that white space. He did a shit proposal in the morning, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:47 PM
3

I get it. I worked with these 3 guys for so long but now we're all creeping up to 40 and those guys are all in the same spot they were 10 years ago, on their mom's couch playing video games with their remotes being held over their beer bellies. I do care about them but I don't really think that anything I've ever said about the female experience has stuck in a meaningful way. I can't use up energy like that anymore. Either people want to grow or they don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:19 PM
57

The important question to ask when vetting for this situation is: "Why do you want children?" Dig into the responses and you'll see that they are typically artificial reasons for wanting children and that this person does not fully comprehend what it means to be a parent. -If he wants to pass on his genes... What makes them so great? -If he wants to carry on the family name... Is your wife's name less important? -If he thinks it would be fun to have a mini-me running around... Are you not aware …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:12 PM
33

Those guys that think their genes and are last names are so important and powerful make me laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:37 PM
3

You wanna know why? Well, I can't speak for anyone else but I can at least answer that for myself after some introspection. I did not want to be a cynic about men. I had, nOt aLL mEn, set as my default and wanted to desperately believe that I had met a man that didn't make all decisions with his dick. A part of me still doesn't want to doubt all men but after looking back at all the men that I've dated, had sex with, or was friends with, I have no faith anymore. I hate that feeling because I hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:11 PM
1

I've heard women tell other women that they are single because they are too picky. It's like that saying though, better off alone than in poor company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:01 PM
2

Bwahahahhaa!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:58 PM
3

I've added those :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:57 PM
8

I also have something funny to add. I once told him that things didn't work out with another guy because we were both alphas. All I meant by that was that we both had to control everything and he took such personal offense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:57 PM
4

Well most don't need to be HVM because sex is so readily available. What a world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:54 PM
2

Sounds about right. This guy became poly because his female friend talked him into how cool it was. She was awful too. I thought we were dating and later she told me she wasn't actually bisexual. I'm pretty sure she only had sex with me so that she could tell her friends how open she ways. These people that collect sex like that are so disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:59 PM
9

The person I chose to be with was also very "understanding" about not having so much sex since I was experiencing pain. Then after the break up he listed our sex life as a problem. I hope he's not one of those guys that think your asexual status will change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:47 PM
4

Both actually. I suppose I will take the introduction to this site as a thing I am thankful for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:44 PM
3

First question: Who the eff knows. Second question: it looks like cannibalism fetishes is where it's at these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:42 PM
61

I'd like to add porn addict to the list of addictions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:32 PM
28

The amount of time I wasted on OLD is sad. I was almost tempted to go back after my breakup but knowing that the person that hurt me would go back to use it as his preying ground made me decide that I will never again open an account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:12 PM
19

You are 100% correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:16 AM
12

Once he started to yell at me and when I told him that I was not cool with that he tried to convince me that men needed to sometimes express their anger that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:36 AM
19

New strategy: How about we commit to ask ourselves why we feel shame about a situation and agree that it's probably because the person we are seeing is treating us poorly and then bounce?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:17 AM
28

The fucking condoms. I'm sorry that happened to you. That happened to me as well in a different poly situation before this guy. Then this guy acted like I had too many boundaries for wanting him to wear condoms with others if he and I were going to go bare. He also thought that another woman he was seeing was too crazy for worrying about STDs. Man apparently I need to keep a list of these things because I just realized that I conveniently forget all this fuckery. Y'all are helping me bring red f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:12 AM
6

It was a little hard to reread because it reminded me of how excited I was. Oh well. Good riddance to guys that act like emotional connections and commitment are going to ruin their lives. That's toxic masculinity for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:04 AM
48

Yay! It sucks because that lifestyle is filled with such toxic sex positivity. All this anti kink shaming culture made me feel guilty about being upset when someone violated boundaries even though I had every right to feel hurt. Im trying to rewire my brain to finally see that all this sex positivity only ever benefits men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:54 AM
49

I literally just made a post about men that show high value tendencies but are actually LVM that lie to get easy sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:18 AM
16

Thank you and I'm sorry that my post gave you hope. I wrote this post because I felt that it was important to acknowledge that I set the bar low by letting one good flag overshadow the bad ones which led me to ignore some very important FDS guidelines. I'm still debating whether I should delete the old post completely or if I should add an edit that links it to this update for full disclosure on how things can change that quickly. This "relationship" literally went from him asking me to choose a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:10 AM
7

I'm glad too although it also really makes me randomly sad that I was so trusting of this person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:51 AM
31

He did use my mental health against me. I was angry once because he was being a shit person and he had the nerve to ask if I had gone off my meds. God forbid that a women be angry without her being a crazy bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:41 AM
8

Same. Mostly because I still can't believe that I was being played and seeing the happy moments in those photos will make me want to reminisce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:32 AM
24

No offense taken. I felt ashamed at first but I'm not going to put that on myself. The shame is on him for using lies to gain women's trust to use and discard them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:41 AM
83

You are right. By the time I had read the handbook I was already in the relationship and was in denial about how he had violated my boundaries so quickly. I believed we would work it out but it was always the same thing. I'm never touching that bs again. Every person I dated as poly was shit in that that their whole identities revolved around being poly and they violated boundaries, and lied consistently while pretending that cOMmUnIcAtIoN would fix the issues even though all the talking never l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:34 AM
21

Truth. I've been tempted to tell him the same thing but he would have had to respect me as a person in order to take that into consideration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:01 AM
67

This actually made me evaluate my male friends and only one my friend's is HVM on paper but even then I have no way of truly knowing what goes on behind closed doors. I don't want LVM as friends. I thought I was doing womankind a favor by trying to teach them how to be better men but I'm pretty sure I've wasted years on that impossible mission. So long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:54 AM
18

Making the same mistake more than once is a choice. Don't let any gesture convince you otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:28 AM
14

Decide if you are okay being with someone that doesn't think your need to be romanced matters because he literally just told you that he's not going to do that for you. Believe him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:21 AM
23

Yeah, congratulations for half-assing a job that every woman has been doing since the beginning of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:22 PM
29

Even SAHDs don't do their fair share and still want rewards for doing shit they're supposed to be doing already. I've seen that irl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:03 PM
17

That after is my worst nightmare and the reason why I'm grateful that my ex dumped me (I was too ride or die to follow through myself). It really was for the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:59 PM
19

Porn addicts: nOt aLL cAnNiBaLiSts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:53 PM
9

My ex bought himself a TV for Christmas and bought me some random soup container from Amazon. So yeah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:32 PM
5

Now go listen to Lizzo's "Soulmate" and make it your anthem. It's such a great song for your goals. I'm going through the same thing myself and some songs really help me out of my daily funk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:17 AM
45

I made the mistake of thinking being poly was possible but this dude broke our agreement at least 3 times and somehow I ended up blaming my mental health stuff for being insecure. The reality is that I'm a secure person and this fucked with me because he was gaslighting me the whole time. We were talking marriage and raising a child so I didn't want to be poly anymore and he dumped me. Although I'm hurt I know that he would have been a shit father and husband because I was already carrying all t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:37 PM
4

I've been trying the mirror and you're right. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile. Not at the laughing stage (YET).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:34 AM
99

Your comment means so much to me today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:25 PM
9

Just got dumped by one Wednesday even though we were talking about an engagement and wedding. I made the mistake of entering this as polyamorous (I know, it's in the playbook but this is before I found FDS). It was easy for him to want marriage until I asked him to not insert his penis into other vaginas. Boy did that make his ass run. All I learned was that this relationship was only desirable for the perks. I'm still in denial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:05 PM
20

And I'm finally sold on no coffee dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:20 PM
13

I personally prefer that a person ask if they can kiss me. I've said this to female friends and they say that it takes away the romance and that they like to be surprised. I think some men are under this impression as well but of course some are just gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:12 PM
2

They do exist. If I need alone time all I have to do is say it and he gives me space. He'll ask if I'm ok first and will check in once in a while if I'm bummed about something because I can spiral into a hole when I get that way. Other than that he'll leave me alone. I was pretty open about needing alone time from the beginning though so it may be helpful to be upfront.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:04 AM
5

I also don't find value expensive jewelry but understand why spending money is important to show commitment. I don't really know what I want instead though other than a vacation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:57 AM
27

My brother in law molested me when I was 12 and I was pressured into forgiving him for the sake of the family. I'm 35 now and just finally getting over the pain. The psychological issues I've collected could have been avoided if my family would have done what this woman has. I don't know what or it's another sexual abuse that turns people into cowards that don't speak up. This woman is my hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 03:40 AM
28

Yes. Surprisingly all my male friends were honest about those guys just wanting sex but my pick me ass thought I was awesome enough for them to change for me and ignored them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:36 AM
0

That brings me to why I now conceal my bisexual identity and experience with group sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:13 PM
13

Not necessarily motorcycles but just any man that revs an engine, plays obnoxiously loud music in their vehicle, owns a large truck if they're not in construction business or similar, or spends money upgrading their car with trendy stuff. I've never met a man of value that was ultra concerned about their vehicle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:54 PM
11

Bulls are color blind which makes this even more accurate since they can't differentiate between red or green flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:05 PM
7

I'm in my 30s and I've learned that life is too short to waste time with low value people. I had already started this process but after FDS I noticed that I was too lenient with my male friends about the way they mansplain and other problematic behavior. Even if I am not dating them other women are and I don't want to associate with shitty behavior that affects my fellow sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 03:37 AM
10

I recently let go of a male friend that wasn't respecting my stated boundaries in regard to a political discussion we were having through text. I asked him to stop at least 3 times and when he wouldn't I stopped replying. He texted me happy birthday a week later but I chose not to reply because it was going to be too easy to gloss over the previous argument. I have been friends with him for over 10 years but I'm done playing second to his ego. I didn't give him an explanation because after that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 03:15 AM
65

I recently had similar thoughts about the relationship between the patriarchy and older women. I just turned 35 and have finally reached a point where I see that young women have been tricked into thinking that nudity is empowering after taking a hard look and realizing that most women don't benefit from it or do but at the expense of their reputation. When I was young I used to think that older women were prudes and jealous of our youth but now know that it was an idea that was implanted into y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:55 PM
60

38 Stopping in the middle of sexy times will bring on a case of blue balls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:59 AM
7

When I first met my bf I was zero physically attracted to him. We were at a bar with mutual friends and when he started to chat me up I realized we had a ton in common and ended up chatting the entire night. I became attracted to his personality and that actually turned into physical attraction. It helped that he was somewhat fit. I was upfront with him though and told him that fitness is important to me and that we need to be honest with one another if we ever start to gain weight to an unhealt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:26 AM
96

My sister once told me a story that illustrated this. It went something like this... Take a man to a field of corn and tell him that as he goes down the field he gets to choose one ear of corn but once he chooses he doesn't get to continue looking down the line. The man will come across some healthy looking corn but his curiosity will make him leave it and continue down the line in search of better corn. Once he gets to the end of the line he chooses the last ear of corn that's available so that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:30 AM
7

I was partaking in a vacation one night stand and after I told him to get a condom he replied with the typical "don't you trust me?" Um no I don't, I met you like 3 hours ago. We did end up having sex (with a condom).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:36 PM
4

This is what made me fall in love with yoga. Just that small request at the end of practice really changed my relationship with my body in such an amazing way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:07 PM
15

I've always been overweight as an adult and it's been hard to get out of the negative mentality. One thing that I do that really helps me came from taking yoga. After each session the instructor would tell us to thank our bodies for that practice, so in my head I would give my body a shout out for being able to keep up with the poses and started to give it a pep talk if it couldn't do a pose yet. Sometimes we forget that our bodies do so much for us throughout the day that we forget to be gratef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:04 AM
64

It's such a turn off for me when adult men use the word boobs when trying to be sexy. Just makes me think of them as teenagers. I do call them boobs when talking to friends but coming from a man is a no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:26 AM
7

I was talking to a female friend today about why I was voting the way I was and she told me why she was voting the way she was which coincided with my male friend's exact reason. No one tried to convince anyone of anything and we moved on seamlessly to the next topic. I would say it's definitely a male thing most of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 04:15 AM
19

I knew a guy I was hanging with as friends was crushing so I anticipated the advance and told him I was only interested in being friends. This guy started yelling and telling me that women were bitches for always assuming a guy wanted sex. Doesn't matter if you say it before or after, these clowns are going to do what they're going to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 04:10 AM
14

Good! I learned a similar lesson this week but with a friend. Maybe I should say ex friend whom I've known for many years. We ended up discussing politics and when we got to the point where it was obvious he was trying to change my mind about who to vote for I told him we should move on to something else to preserve our friendship. He did not and kept explaining to me why I should vote his way, sent me an article and everything after I told him I had done my own research and spent a lot of time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:41 AM
2

We really are a crazy story so I don't tend to recommend anyone do it this way. Even I wouldn't do it this way if I became single again. But truth be told I knew I wanted to keep him in my life after a week of knowing him. We're getting close to two years so it's been worth the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 03:30 AM
16

Haha yeah. It's weird isn't it? He doesn't agree with every single thing but it was a way to see what women value and adjusting some behavior. He knew that as a feminist I'd be interested in this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:49 PM
12

This was definitely lucky so I won't advocate going home on the first night with a guy you meet at a bar. Unless that is what you really want of course and not influenced by fake charm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:47 PM
1

Don't hate yourself! I know it's easier said than done but we're always going to make mistakes and we have to learn how to move forward. I myself was making mistakes two years ago at 32! It's work worth doing so I hope you're not too hard on yourself when you find yourself going through a road bump. Keep coming back to this sub to remind yourself that you are capable of having queen energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:46 PM
2

Me too. I was introduced in February. It took me a while to get through the handbook and although I don't agree with a couple of things for how I live my life I still see the value in all of it if that makes sense. I've also applied a lot of this stuff to my friendships with men just to make sure that they're not sticking around waiting to bed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:37 PM
4

One piece of advice is to not stick on the "should have". I've seen some posts on here that remind us to not punish our current selves for what our pickme selves did. We really didn't know any better and we have to be kind to the old versions of ourselves by learning from those mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:24 PM
1

True! I had an ex of 5 years that made me feel like bringing up things that were bothering me were a nuisance so I learned to keep my mouth shut in fear of being a "nag". My current guy basically forces me to spit it out so that we can work it out and doesn't make me feel like my feelings aren't valid. I've had to relearn that talking out issues is actually a good thing. I can't believe how closed off I had become.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:46 PM
2

An enthusiastic hell no, I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:41 PM
2

6 times? Yasss queen! My personal record is 5. I hear a lot of women talk about liking big dicks but that is just not for me. With the exception of one guy who I also consider a HVM, these guys just shove it in without any concern for pain. You can see it in porn when the women use their hands to push the men back and you you never see the difference in the way they jackhammer away. It's appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:41 PM
5

That's gross. We must also be careful with the fake, "is this ok?" thing. Since he's your ex I'm assuming you've known him for a while which means he knew about your anxiety, especially since that's what the massage was for. Him turning this helpful moment into a sex one is gross. As I mentioned, I have also felt obligated to and it sucks to just lay there and wait for the thing to be over. I'm sorry that happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:37 PM
1

That's awesome. I'm glad you have someone that considers your body just as important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:33 PM
4

Girl I get it. Most of us have been there. What I think has worked for me now at 35 (next week) and what seems like useless dating has been to be completely honest from the beginning and wear my feminist flag proudly. This scares a ton of LVM off and I don't have to bother wondering if they like me or not. Be yourself but also be patient and don't lower your standards no matter what anyone says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:32 PM
2

Same! I had those issues early on and he never pushed. We are in a long distance relationship so our quality time is very short. Once I got an infection toward the end of one of my visits and I wanted to have sex since it'd be a couple of months before I saw him again but we went out and got me the cream I needed and just made out. He's not grossed out about it either. I've never shied away from bodily function topics and he always listens to my issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:28 PM
4

And this was within a couple of months. For him to have felt that shift meant that he really paid attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:24 PM
31

So my story is not exactly FDS approved in so many ways but here it goes. He was in town visiting a mutual friend and I met him at a bar. He chatted me up and my horny ass took him home. It's funny because since I knew that he was going back home I was myself 100% because I wasn't afraid of scaring him off. We ended up staying up the entire night talking and sexing and spent the whole week together. He asked me if he could call me and we ended up talking every single day on the phone. We visit e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:23 PM
80

Yeah. I've had guys care about my pleasure but had never had one notice a shift in mindset the way my guy did. He really is the best communicator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:38 AM
3

I left some stuff out but in regard to my statement it's because she has expressed that marriage will make her happy and he won't do it even though they are in a position to do so and are already living that life. How committed are you if you aren't willing to make it legal after all that time? As for the stuff I left out I'll add that even though she's a successful head nurse that works crazy hours she is still the one managing the household 100% of the time because he is the type of guy that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:46 PM
13

My cousin and her LVM completed their careers, have 2 children together, bought a house yet they're not married. She's been clear that she wants to be and 10 years later he finally gave her a ring but it's been about a 4 year engagement by now. She'll never leave him though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:42 PM
11

Yes! I wasted some of my youth on a LVM. I would freaking skip class if he decided on a whim he actually had time for me. I was a good student and ended up losing valuable years scooping up the scraps he'd throw at me. Personal/professional goals should be number one because they are what you can count on no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:29 AM
6

I was online dating after I got dumped by an LVM and while I had fun it never led to anything. I wasted years on random dating. I'm 34 and last year I was finally able to find fulfillment in my friendships and family and was comfortable being single and childfree for the rest of my life. I ended up meeting a guy at an event and we really hit it off. He's what I want in a partner. This only happened because I decided that I would rather be single than in bad company forever so I didn't just jump …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:25 AM
10

Another test is mentioning your period. Not even details. LVM can't even handle the word period without visibly gagging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:31 AM
8

A guy I was dating got mad at me for cheating on him after someone told him I made out with a guy at a party. We had never actually discussed being exclusive and he said that it was official since we had had sex the week before. How convenient. My pick me ass went on to date him for four years in secret from his family but at least it's over now and I learned a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 10:33 PM
63

I know someone that does this on purpose. She says it's the ultimate way to know if someone is worth keeping around longer based on how they react.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:54 PM
3

Those are not good friends to have but I assure you that great women exist. I really appreciate that my friends trust me to be alone with their husbands. Women that are automatically threatened by other women need help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:03 PM
2

I second this. I've met great people through Meetup. Not all events have fees though. Some event leaders cover the costs or ask for donations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:45 PM
12

My bf said this to me once and man did he get a lecture on why this term is sexist. He never used it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:59 AM
10

I have an interesting one for you. My boyfriend introduced me to this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 08:15 PM
2

I think you have your answer. I don't think anyone can be taught how to listen, they have to want that skill on their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:57 PM
18

That's because these types of guys are only "childfree" until their late 30s when they get sick of the bachelor life then search for a hot 20 year old to deposit their jiz. Go to the childfree subreddit and you'll see that the real ones take care of their business and have those types of conversations early on so that everyone is on the same page.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:51 PM
3

Everyone is a different type of gift giver. Like you, I struggle to choose something for a loved one. But my bf never once asked me what I wanted because he's a great listener and ended up getting me the perfect gift last year. I hope this is the case for you. I don't want to read too much into your post but is he generally not thoughtful and you're worried that that is going to carry over into your bday?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:39 PM
1

Had a woman message me. She then brings in her bf to the first "date" for safety reasons. Later on after hanging a few times and falling for the unicorn trap she has her bf tell me she's not bisexual. That shit sucked. Bi women get enough shit for being fake because of these losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:42 PM
8

Find out exactly what you're worried about. Are you worried you might relapse? Or that a person you're interested in won't treat you well? I personally think that the fact that you're considering it now is a good sign that you are open to letting someone in again. I recommend that you begin by reflecting on what is important to you in a relationship. Don't let anyone cross those boundaries no matter what. Keep in mind that meeting someone doesn't happen quickly. Join a fun Meetup, show up on tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 07:58 PM
3

I used to know a guy like that. Would post on FB about wanting a younger woman to have his babies and when I called him out on it he said it was biology and that older women had no right to complain since they waited too long to reproduce. Needless to say I unfriended his misogynistic ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:10 PM
1

Plus he told her that her Met Gala dress. He said, “You are my wife and it affects me when pictures are too sexy,”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:50 PM
3

Dating as a childree woman seems impossible sometimes. I drop that info on the first day and still men act surprised when the topic comes up later and I haven't changed my mind. This would be a good topic to cover in the rule book. The cost of being a mother is mentioned but it would be good to have something specific for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:27 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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