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MagpieMelon Archive

View 0 posts and 106 comments by MagpieMelon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’m so sorry that you’re in a similar situation. I’m pretty sure the abuse did cause it unfortunately, which is a shame because it prevents me from getting out of this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:34 PM
4

Thank you so much! It’s been difficult but I’ve always been there for her, even when my mum told her I was an awful person and lied all the time and would make stuff up about me. And now in the last year she’s finally realised it for herself and we have each other’s support. I’m so happy I always looked out for her instead of just ignoring her or being horrible to her like I could have. I also have friends and family who know what it’s like and are helping when they can. It’s been hard coming to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:52 AM
9

I would have been out ages ago if I hadn’t gotten sick with a chronic autoimmune disease which prevented me from working for a couple of years and still prevents me working full time. My sister and I are hoping to move out soon, but covid caused her to lose her job and she can’t find another full time one so we really don’t have the money to move out yet. In a couple of years I’m sure we’ll be out though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:46 AM
19

This happened to me, except I had both my parents. I was (and still am) expected to cook, clean and otherwise be a maid to the family. From the age of 14. And when I got a full time job at 16 I was then expected to pay rent, and lend them money when they needed it. My dad still owes me about £600 but he’s likely forgotten about it. Surprisingly my dad is actually a lot better than my mum, and he actually cooks and cleans without moaning when it really needs doing nowadays. But my mum abuses us a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:05 AM
8

Maybe I should make my parrots my Valentine for this year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:03 AM
16

My parents did this as well. It’s so hard when the people who were supposed to teach you these things just taught you the opposite!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:05 PM
37

I never realised until recently, it’s just something you think is normal until you realise it isn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:02 AM
5

I used to say this all the time. I used to be so proud of the fact that I wasn’t like other girls and called girls bitchy and hard to get along with. Until I started dealing with my traumas and then met my best friend who’s so much better than any guy I’ve ever been friends with. It’s such a damaging mindset to live in, and I’m so glad I don’t think like that any more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:00 AM
4

I’m definitely going to be a crazy parrot lady when I’m older. I come from an abusive family and have attachment issues so I end up falling for every guy I see and I’m always pretty lonely. So I got two parrots to help with it and now I’m obsessed. I rescued another from a friend of a friend so now I have three of them and they keep me busy enough that I’m no longer obsessed with being in a relationship and dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:55 AM
11

I have celiac disease which means I can’t have gluten, and anyone I end up with will have to be fine with a completely gluten free household. I’ve also recently turned vegan and it’s working well for me but it’s even more difficult than just gluten free. So my compromise is that I don’t really mind what someone eats as long as it’s gluten free, because that’s an actual health issue. It’s my choice to be vegan and any food I cook will be vegan, but I’m not looking for someone that is gluten free …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:45 AM
2

Oh my god, this reminds me of my ex. After I broke up with him (and he stalked me, I almost got the police involved) he used to talk to a mutual friend of ours who told me everything he would say. He was sleeping with prostitutes to “get his needs met”. This was after he told me he didn’t have much experience with women and he was always super nervous on our dates. On our third date he started talking about getting a hotel room because we both still lived with our parents. Major red flag and it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:15 PM
10

Me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 07:18 PM
20

I really wish this was how everyone treated everyone. My own family don’t do this and it’s so hard to look out for green flags like this when your own flesh and blood don’t even act like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:35 AM
19

I’m single every single Valentine’s Day. Personally I just treat it like any other day, or I’ll treat myself if I’m feeling like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:40 PM
5

As soon as I can move out it will get a lot better! It’s just hard until that happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 09:04 AM
7

I’m so sorry similar things happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:03 AM
45

This is what I’m trying to do. I live in an abusive family and I can’t afford to move out. I also have health problems which limit me a lot, so it makes it even harder. It’s so difficult to get where you want to be when you’re born into awful situations that you have no control over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:31 PM
53

This really helps me. I know it’s not to do with men or dating, but I live in an abusive family and I’ve been worried for so long that I’ll end up like them too. Stuff like this really helps me see that my thinking is completely different and that I’m not really like them at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:06 AM
54

I wish it was that easy for me! My mum is like this and I still live at home and can’t afford to move out. She’s just realised that I’ve realised what she does and that my sister also realised it. So the other day she sat us down and started telling us how she hasn’t been a mum to us recently and she knows it and when my sister started saying it’s ok she began to tell her it’s not. Which was good up until she had enough of that and then started saying how we’ve broken her heart and how she overh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:52 AM
12

Sounds like my mum unfortunately. I was raised with this kind of subtle abuse, and now I’m terrified of ending up in a relationship with a man who’s like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:12 AM
94

Honestly. I had an ex tell a mutual friend that he started sleeping with prostitutes to “get what he needed”, and it disgusted me so much. I dodged a real bullet with that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:42 PM
1

It’s honestly confusing. If I have a problem or I’m upset, then he’s there and he’ll talk to me, whether I’m actually with him or not. But when things are going well and I just want to talk to him, then that’s when he’s less available. He never doesn’t talk to me for more than a day, and if I don’t message him then he’ll always message me the day after. Everything seems fine, except he doesn’t seem to want to actually see me. He has a lot of interviews this week and said he’d let me know when th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:14 AM
2

I liked him partly because he never says stuff he doesn’t mean, which means that luckily I don’t have him telling me he loves me or any of that stuff. A part of me wishes he would say it, but then it would be much harder to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:24 PM
8

It does seem that way unfortunately. I could come up with reasons for his behaviour all day, but really if he was into me then he’d be trying to see me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:21 PM
17

Yeah, it’s a mystery. When I’m with him he doesn’t make me wonder at all, and most of the time when we talk he doesn’t either. It’s just because we couldn’t see each other due to lockdown and now I don’t work with him so literally never have to see him again. So I guess he’s moved on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 07:05 AM
17

I went on a date with a guy last week and he talked about his crazy ex, on the first date, and then started saying how he wasn’t a nice guy for a while after it. But he’s ok now so I don’t need to worry. He was very nervous also, which is probably why all of this came out. I’m glad because I just dodged a bullet, but I’m so annoyed at how hard it is to find a decent man. There’s another guy I’ve been seeing who I haven’t seen for a month and a half due to covid, and now the restrictions have bee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:58 AM
53

I needed this today! One of the guys I’ve been seeing is super flaky and at this point I’m wondering if he even wants to see me. He’s said he does, but his actions don’t say it at all. It’s a shame because I really like him, but I guess he just doesn’t feel the same way about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:51 AM
24

For me it’s very true. When I’m done, I’m done. No feelings, no nothing. It takes a while for me to get there, but once it happens then that’s it. I see so many people in my life who will keep going back, or letting people back in and I just don’t understand why they repeatedly hurt themselves like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:24 PM
7

I’m very emotionally unavailable, so I get exactly what you mean. In a way it’s good since I don’t get attached and can easily walk away from things. But I’ve also walked away from good things because of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:11 AM
11

I don’t have crohns but I do have celiac disease and cptsd from childhood abuse. I’ve been casually seeing a guy and he makes sure he takes me places I can eat, cooks food I can have for me and generally treats me very well. I doubt it’s going to work out with him for other reasons, but when it comes to my health he’s amazing. My own family struggle to have a meal I can safely eat and I always have to fight for it. You will definitely be able to find a HVM, but always focus on yourself first. Yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:09 AM
6

They’re messier than children!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:01 AM
19

How are you gonna reply at 6.66?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 02:06 PM
-6

Yeah I know. I’m not defending him at all, I just find it interesting that he can be high value in so many ways and then go and do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:53 PM
3

Yeah exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:43 PM
-5

Yeah, I’m not sticking up for him at all! I’m just pointing out how you can’t trust men, even ones who are seemingly high value. If I was his girlfriend he would get away with it because he’d never have told me, and he only ever got caught once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:42 PM
0

Yeah it’s so strange, but it definitely backs up the post that it doesn’t matter who you are, if he’s a cheater then he’s gonna cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:32 PM
-61

There’s a guy I know who cheats, but he’s incredibly honest if you ask him things. So I asked him why he does it and it basically boiled down to the fact that he hasn’t found anyone he wouldn’t do it to. He also said that if he gets away with it then great, if he gets caught and the girl leaves him then he doesn’t mind because he knows he’ll be fine. He’s very happy, successful and other than the cheating, very high value. I really don’t get his logic on cheating other than he doesn’t really car…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:20 PM
48

Absolutely. I also thought I had trouble with intimacy, was bad at kissing and just generally was awful at life. It doesn’t help that my parents abused me, turned my sister against me and encourage me to get with any guy because “maybe a boyfriend will help solve your problems”. I’ve been working a lot on myself this past year and now have a great relationship with my sister, see through my parents bullshit (though I can’t move out just yet) and the guy I’ve been seeing has shown me that I don’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:31 AM
6

This didn’t happen to me with a man, but with my own mum. She gaslit me so badly I genuinely thought I was crazy, and the worst thing is I can never confront her about it because she denies everything. My sister was the one that confirmed it for me, without me having to prompt her. Even now I still think I’m not completely right in the head, but I now know that it’s just ptsd from how I was treated and not that there’s something wrong. Something that helped me was having a friend who tells me ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 08:36 AM
29

My mum is exactly like this. If she does something and we get upset by it then we’re acting too sensitive and she doesn’t mean it really and we need to understand that. But if it’s the other way around suddenly we hate her and are horrible people. I can’t wait till I can move out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:24 PM
35

Every guy I’ve dated I’ve felt that same gut feeling, and I just assumed I was nervous and head over heels for them. They would always ask me out and I would just go along with it, telling myself I liked them or that the feelings would come later. I would even sympathise with some of them because I felt like I had to give them a chance. It was so bad that I could barely kiss them, and when I did I couldn’t do it properly, so I thought I was a terrible kisser. I’d even get annoyed when they would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 07:11 AM
2

I think this is definitely true. I’m so easily turned off my men, even ones I find physically attractive or that have a lot of high value qualities. The second they do a certain thing my attraction for them just dies and I start working out how to get out of the relationship. For ages I thought I was in the wrong because everyone tells you to accept people for their flaws, to work on things and that nobody is perfect. Even my own mum tells me to stick with things. It can definitely work the othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 07:48 AM
3

This is what’s confusing! He’s applying for jobs and hopefully won’t be working with me for much longer. He had an interview already which he would have gotten except that the position was made redundant partly due to corona. The position was internal so I know he’s not lying about it, but it would have meant that he wouldn’t be working directly with me anymore and us dating would be fine. As it was, we were dating for a few months despite me knowing we couldn’t and that if we got caught it woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:18 AM
3

I’m 24 now and in a similar situation! It’s so difficult because on one hand the guy I’ve been dating has a lot of high value traits. But on the other he broke up with me but still wants to speak to me like nothing’s happened. There’s also a legitimate reason we can’t be together so that makes it much more confusing, especially since I know he’s looking for another job (he’d lose it if people found out we were together). He’s also never lied to me and has followed through on everything he says h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:57 AM
7

It sure seems like it. Though he’s acting like he actually still cares so I don’t know. It’s hard because if someone found out we were seeing each other he would likely lose his job. He’s looking for another one but as my friend said to me, it’s like when a guy promises he’ll leave his wife for you. It’s probably not gonna happen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:56 PM
33

This is exactly what just happened to me. I wanted to just sleep with him a couple of times and then that’s it, because at this time in my life I don’t really want or need a relationship and we couldn’t have one anyway due to our work. But he was taking me out to dinner, talking with me every day, he’d drive 40 minutes each way to pick me up and drop me off since I can’t drive yet. He even brought me a toaster just to use at his house because I have celiac disease and need my own separate toaste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:06 AM
31

My parents were similar. Always telling me I don’t need a man and that I can do it on my own. Unfortunately they were also very emotionally detached. And when I was a teenager they were just straight up horrible to me. They tore me down for every little thing, so I’m not surprised I became a bit of a pick me. I’m lucky that I’m very reserved so that weeds out a lot of men, but I also like to drink and there’s been a lot of times when I’ve been drunk and acting in ways I never would whilst sober.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:13 AM
12

I used to question mine because it was so rare that I’d actually be attracted to a man. Even when women would be like look at him, or talking about who they found attractive I would just not feel a lot beyond being able to tell they were attractive. I also used to be a massive pick me and any man that would show me attention I would start trying to impress and imagine our future together, despite not really feeling anything. It doesn’t help that my mum once told me that if I got a boyfriend it w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:43 AM
10

It doesn’t even look like the same ring...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:05 PM
11

I’ve actually gotten myself 2 parrots to help me with not being a pick me. I’m not quite at the stage where they love me yet (I’ve had them a month), but already they’ve helped. My family (I still live at home with my parents) were abusive to me growing up and I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to men. Thank god for FDS. I was already levelling up when I found it, but it’s helped me so much more since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:47 AM
12

A guy asked me out and then called me whilst I was waiting for him to show up to the date asking me what I was doing that day. I told him I was waiting for him and he apologised and said he’d be there in about 20 minutes. I had waited about 10 minutes already, so I just left. He called me about 5 times after that and I ignored every one. Looking back I know it was the right thing to do, but I was a mess at the time wondering what was wrong with me that he didn’t remember the date. I’d say to onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:54 PM
42

I used to be exactly like this, until I started working on myself and the things I’ve gone through in life. I sore off dating for a while and decided to improve my own life by focusing on my relationships, job and starting a degree. I also got a pet, to give me the love that I’m missing from my family and to stop me from trying to find a guy that loves me. Funnily enough, I’m talking to someone atm who doesn’t make me feel all those anxious feelings that I usually feel. I know that if it doesn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 06:02 PM
2

I have already, it’s been really helpful to me already. Thank you anyway!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:01 AM
17

Unfortunately my parents were the ones who did this to me and I learned it was normal. I spent my whole childhood upset but thinking I was just ungrateful and spoiled because my family was amazing to everyone on the outside. It’s only in recent years that I realised it, and luckily I can be there for my younger sister so that she doesn’t end up like me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:05 AM
10

I work as a cashier in a supermarket and we have to wear name tags. It’s horrible when creepy older men stare at my name tag for a few minutes trying to work out my name and then call me by it. It feels too personal, especially as my name is very rare and people usually pronounce it completely wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:06 AM
3

It’s so annoying! Luckily I know where mine is coming from, but I still end up doing it. It’s worse when they have potential and look good, at least if they were complete losers it would be easier!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 09:06 PM
2

That’s so true! I was actually texting a guy the other night and used those exact words of I’m messaging him because I’m bored and lonely. Shockingly he didn’t take that any further but he has a lot of red flags that I just don’t care about when I get like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:18 PM
3

Ahh ok, that makes much more sense! Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:35 PM
23

Why did you bribe him? He said he was bringing it round tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:30 PM
8

I hope we never attract them too, unfortunately it does seem like they know who to target.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:57 AM
26

I think I had the same mum too! Mine told me to stay away throughout my entire teenage years, wouldn’t allow me to ‘show too much skin’ or anything like that, and would never talk to me about boys. I started dating an abusive man last year. Before I knew what he was like (they can hide it very well), I just didn’t want to date him as I wasn’t feeling it, but since he pursued me I felt bad. So I went to my mum for advice because I didn’t want to string him along, but also I didn’t want to hurt hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:09 AM
15

Think I might get myself a bird!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:24 AM
22

Unfortunately I’m finding this with my family at the moment. My mum said to me earlier that I have a warped sense of who she is and how she thinks, and I said to her it’s just the facial expressions and little comments that she does sometimes which make me feel that way. She then told me that she’s quirky and I shouldn’t judge her the same as everyone else and completely invalidated me. This is probably why I’ve been such a pickmeisha in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 06:40 PM
5

Parrots! They need a lot of attention, but are also very interactive pets. They really become a part of your family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:34 PM
22

I’m naturally blonde but as I’ve gotten older, it’s become a dark ashy colour. For the last few years I’ve been highlighting it blonde and it looks great! But it does explain the amount of unwanted attention I get, maybe I should go with a different colour 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:42 AM
2

He really was. Really nice until I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, then he stalked me whilst trying to impress me by drinking and smoking weed. Then when that didn’t work he started sending me videos of him telling me that I had mental health issues and that he really thought we had something good. I had to threaten him with the police to make him leave me alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:55 PM
7

Haha, I actually drove a man to use prostitutes to ‘get what he needs.’ I’m so glad I saw what he was like before it got too far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:32 PM
6

It depends on what you drink. Most alcohol I handle just fine, but I become black out drunk if I have white wine, which is why I don’t drink it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:48 AM
14

This is so true. I have a manager at work who lead me on telling me he’s broken up with his girlfriend and that he likes me. Then his girlfriend flipped out and contacted me and I told her what had been happening. She’s still with him because she’s insecure and has basically just blamed me for it. Meanwhile he’s acting like nothings happened. The thing is, he’s not horrible and he doesn’t act like an asshole. Yet I hate working with him and I’m actually dreading going into work because of it. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 11:08 AM
10

This happens to me too. I’m very hard to get and am usually a HVW, but the second that I’m actually interested in someone I switch. Because I can read people well, I’m very good at being the ‘cool girl’ as I change to fit whatever the man wants. I’ve decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself in the hopes that I can stop acting this way. I really don’t know what advice I could give you as I’m suffering from the same thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:56 AM
2

This is so weird, I actually know someone who has the same name as him and looks exactly like him. If you didn’t live in America, I’d swear it was him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 10:28 PM
9

I’m with you on mental health issues. For the longest time I fought for the doctors to actually find out what was wrong with me and all they would say is that I have depression and anxiety. Finally 2 years ago I found out that I had celiac disease and stopped eating gluten. Most of my problems cleared up, and the ones left are the result of childhood trauma. If I’d have listened to the doctors I would likely be on a lot of medication with no way of ever getting out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:48 AM
1

He actually sounds a lot like my ex, same age and qualities. Unfortunately he was very good at hiding all of his red flags. I called off the relationship because I wasn’t really ready for one and he completely changed. He started stalking me, turning up at my work and asking for me (I work in a shop), messaged me a lot and when I ignored him, started negging me. He sent me a video telling me I was bipolar and that he really thought I was the one for him but that I was ruining it. I told him I’d …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:23 PM
2

I agree with this. I had a dress that fit me perfectly and I looked great in it. Since I’ve lost some weight it just doesn’t look right on me anymore, I’m gutted as I got loads of compliments from wearing it before the weight loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 12:49 AM
24

Just a warning to you, even though these things are definitely signs of a HVM, still keep yourself safe and trust your gut instinct. I recently went on a date (friend of a friend, so you’d think that would be safer) and he planned the whole date days in advance. He even drove me home afterwards (not far but the date had gone really well). We really hit it off and he seemed like a great guy. Unfortunately in the next few dates he became really obsessive about me, though he never got physical with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 10:19 PM
4

Oh, definitely! I can usually tell if people are like that within minutes of meeting and interacting with them. It’s a great skill to have and has kept me safe on many occasions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 07:53 AM
5

Yep, it was definitely a quick thing. He was my manager too, so I guess there was already a small level of trust there which made it easier for him to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 07:51 AM
39

I can usually spot abusive people instantly, and then avoid them and don’t give them the time of day. However recently I fell victim to one, partly because I was vulnerable at the time, and partly because they knew how to play the game faster than I could spot the signs. Luckily it’s all over now, but sometimes they can get you even if you’re prepared for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 01:30 PM
7

Isn’t it romantic is a movie I watched recently and I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:55 PM
3

I wouldn’t do it, only because I have some personal experience and it has not ended well for me. My boss basically did everything except outright tell me he was interested in me, and I fell for it. He flirted, talked to me outside of work, was super nice to me, I even think my promotion was in part due to him. Everything was going great, until his ‘ex’ who he swore he’d broken up with messages me asking what’s going on. He tells me he’s been getting back together with her and that she’s angry I’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 01:37 PM
10

I love this! It’s one of my favourite shows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 12:34 AM
1

Luckily I’ve been telling people what’s been going on. I haven’t really told work as he used to work there and my colleagues think he’s a really nice guy, which he comes across as until you upset him. Plus my manager is extremely sexist and I don’t feel like he’d take me seriously. I went out with him for about a week, and he’s been messaging me every few days for a couple of months now. He comes into work and talks to me, despite having been ‘too shy’ before I broke up with him. When he talks t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 12:22 PM
3

Haha, I can’t believe them. Thankfully you can see it now! A guy I was seeing got angry that I broke up with him and won’t leave me alone. After trying all the usual ‘I miss you’ and how sad he is, and me not responding, he sent me a video telling me that I’m bipolar. Not only did he tell me that I’m bipolar, but he admitted to stalking 2 other people and was reassuring me that it was only 2 people and not a big deal. I’ve told him if he doesn’t stop then I’m getting the police involved, and he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 09:42 AM
14

I did this and got a mutual friend to give him my number, after he’d told her that he was interested in me. He would come into my work (as a customer) but was too shy to ever actually talk to me. At the beginning he seemed alright as he took me on dates, paid for them, listened to me etc. But he was far too nervous and I had to do all of the work when we were actually together. I broke up with him as I wasn’t feeling it and wasn’t attracted to him and he got angry. Now all of a sudden he’s not t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 09:28 AM
3

I’m saving this list so I can refer to it later!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:44 PM
10

I actually went to buy something from the shop I work at all dressed up and the day after when I was working, one of my colleagues asked me what I was dressed up for the day before. I was just wearing an outfit that I loved just for myself, because I wanted to wear it and feel good. We all deserve to be able to dress up for ourselves, not for an external reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:13 PM
7

Yeah, I’d rather see someone irl than just text them a lot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:11 PM
4

It really is annoying. Why can’t they just move on with their life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:19 PM
27

That sounds awful, I’m sorry you went through that. At least now you’ll never make that mistake again! The guy I was seeing told me that he had awful anxiety and not much experience with girls, so I made it easier on him by taking the lead and pushing the relationship forward. I broke up with him after I came to my senses and now he’s stalking me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:04 PM
31

A guy I was dating a while back wouldn’t stop telling me how I’m not like all the other girls and how amazing I was compared to them. It’s super annoying, like I love other girls I’m not in competition with them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 02:05 PM
9

A similar thing happens to me! The last few months I’ve now been myself and have been extra vulnerable and it seems like everyone thinks that means they have a chance with me! Since feeling more like myself, that behaviour has largely stopped since they can tell they no longer have a way in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:21 AM
1

I watched the movie ‘Isn’t it romantic’ recently and the song ‘My way’ by Alana D in the end credits is my favourite song at the moment. The whole movie is worth watching too, especially if you’re trying not to be a pickmeisha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:07 PM
31

I’ve also gone through a similar period and am dealing with feeling absolutely appalled and ashamed that I ever let my standards drop that low. And that I let myself be that vulnerable around people who just wanted to take advantage of me. I think that as long as we don’t repeat that behaviour and take it as a lesson, then we’ll be fine. We all make mistakes, and we definitely won’t repeat these ones!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:05 PM
7

What’s he texting you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 09:06 PM
8

Unfortunately I still live at home, so it’s been difficult. At one point one guy was telling me that his parents had a house they could rent me at a reduced price since I can’t afford to move out, but luckily I had enough sense not to accept it. I hope the holidays weren’t too tough on you. You seem to know what you need, and are working on yourself in order to get what you want! It’s so difficult to communicate your needs in a way that doesn’t open you up too much, but that also doesn’t scare p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:58 PM
43

This is so true! My gut instinct has never been wrong about people, even when I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:05 PM
35

I also have some ptsd from an abusive family, it actually got so bad over the last few months that I ended up showing my vulnerability a lot more than I ever have. Believe me, no attention is better than that kind of attention. I’d suggest that you need to focus more on yourself and what you’re achieving in life, and not worry too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:03 PM
4

I have some recent experience with this. Over the last few months I’ve been feeling extremely vulnerable and have been outwardly showing it (for the first time in my life). I’ve realised that my family have abused me my whole life, and that realisation and ultimate acceptance has really shook me. I haven’t been acting or feeling like myself at all and have ended up opening up and sharing too much with people. I’ve had no trouble finding men who want to listen to my problems, mainly because they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 06:51 PM
30

Same here. He paid for everything and tried to act like he was a man, but in reality I felt like I was doing all the work. He got drunk (hadn’t drunk in 3 years because he didn’t like it, but because I was having a small drink he decided to get wasted) and I ended up looking after him because he couldn’t even walk straight. Emotionally I was doing all the work, being there for him and making him feel better. He told me that he was normally really nervous around girls but that I was different and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 12:06 AM
17

I’ve been going through a lot of stuff over the past few months, and have completely let my guard down, leading to me being very vulnerable. I stupidly went out with a guy who I would have never even considered before, and wow have I regretted it. Dated him for about a week but when I ended it he wasn’t happy at all. He wouldn’t leave me alone but I’m not giving him the time of day. I deserve more than that. I can’t believe I’ve let myself be this vulnerable around people, and am definitely cons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 12:01 AM
16

This happened to me. The guy was really nice, initiated meeting up and decided where we went most of the time. He seemed interested but when we were on dates he wouldn’t touch me at all. So I decided to initiate that side of things and I regret it so much. Once you do they think they don’t have to do anything then, and I quickly realised that this guy wasn’t what I wanted. So I broke it off and now he just won’t leave me alone, he doesn’t understand that I don’t want someone like him and keeps s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 03:18 PM
1

Thank you for this, I’m going to find and read those books!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 08:39 AM
3

I definitely won’t give him a chance. He already had it, and he blew it by being a lvm. Which he practically told me he was. I think he could see that I was vulnerable and thought that was his way in, because if I hadn’t been feeling like that then there’s no way I would have gone for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 08:39 AM
2

Yeah I’ve just been ignoring him in the hope that he’ll get the message and leave me alone. Just seems to be making him worse though. Luckily I’m not tempted to go back to him at all, and there’s another guy who’s showing me interest who I liked before too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 08:37 AM
15

I’m 23 but I have a baby face so I look about 5 years younger. The amount of older people that creep on me is sickening, honestly sometimes I don’t even want to be polite (I work in retail).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 07:46 AM
13

My experience isn’t as severe as yours, but I did make a similar mistake. I’ve just been going through realising and accepting that my family have abused me for my entire life, and that there’s nothing I can do about it and no way to get myself out of the situation. Our cat could have been seriously ill (throwing up blood) and they didn’t care at all, plus they never take him to the vets because they don’t want to spend the money on him. I feed him and paid to take him to the vet when he got ill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 09:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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