TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Meccha_me_2 Archive

View 3 posts and 256 comments by Meccha_me_2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

I agree but shockingly I know a lot of men and women whose first instinct is to laugh when someone trips or falls...For a small number of people it could be nervous laughter but that’s just not an excuse. I’m not friends with those people for a reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:19 PM
137

Hates Valentine’s Day but doesn’t talk shit about any other holiday. Laughs when people fall/get hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:32 PM
71

What’s funny is he’s totally missing the point. We’re not asking these questions to qualify you as a potential husband, we’re asking them to weed you out as soon as possible you absolute knob. All high value people that I know have busy lives and dealbreakers. It’s better for busy people to know about incompatibilities up front so they don’t waste valuable time dating someone like this guy. We don’t have time for this casual carefree bullshit. Don’t want to ever get married? Incompatible? Want k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:17 AM
50

Yeah I understand why we don’t like the idea that men change for other women because it implies that there’s something wrong with the women they were originally with but I don’t think that’s the point... Just because someone isn’t that into you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re less than. We have to remember that men will be in long-term relationships with and marry women that they’re not that into because it’s convenient for them. When these men find women they actual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:07 AM
17

I actually wear baggy clothes everywhere i go so I can be left alone. I love looking my best, but I absolutely hate the attention that comes with it. To be honest, I feel most safe when I don’t meet any beauty standard at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:28 AM
9

Soccer body type of girl. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:25 AM
11

I don’t think negative connotations have to be attached to the term. I actually find it interesting that everyone is misinterpreting as “tell me about a time you dated a narc?” I think emotionally healthy people can fall in love multiple times and odds are they dated people who were their dream partner at the time but aren’t now. I know for a fact I was an ex’s dream and he was mine at the time and the way he treated me through the years proved that. We aren’t compatible anymore but because we’r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:17 AM
6

That wasn’t the question. The question is when you truly felt like he was treating you like one, not if he said you were. That’s what narcissists do. Edit: However I think highlighting the times we were led off a cliff are important too as this has happened to me before. I learned he didn’t see women as humans at all just extensions of himself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:04 PM
49

I definitely think being the dream girl can have negative connotations and I kind of want to hear about both in this thread. There were times when I was clearly fetishized/put on a pedestal by men who were dating other women and I would say that being on the other side of that taught me a lot about what to avoid. I often found out that the signs that they were hung up on me (or an idea of me) were seeping through in the romantic relationships they had with other women, but most women looked past…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:18 PM
16

Most of the time sure but I also think you can be your partners dream without the implication that other women didn’t fit the bill at the time. If you’re with someone who is high value, all of these things can exist at the same time. Example: I dated a guy that I knew for years. I was 100% his dream woman when we dated. The biggest sign was his investment in my interests and hobbies and mental well-being. I broke up with him because we weren’t compatible and years later he got engaged to a woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:54 PM
34

Yeah if they like you all they want to do is impress you. There is nothing impressive about splitting the bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:42 PM
38

Not really no? I can count on one hand the number of times I could not come at all with my last bf. When I couldnt it genuinely wasn’t his fault. It was usually related to something hormonal or i just wasn’t in the right mindset. Even though 99.9% of the time he gave me at least two orgasms for every one that he had the times that I didn’t finish still weren’t “good” they were just fine. I felt safe and I wasn’t upset with him or anything, but orgasms often define the experience to me Sex where …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:05 AM
36

Even a quick text response time would’ve meant nothing IMO I once asked a guy out for drinks and his immediate response was “Yes!!!” and he solidified the plans, reached out days ahead of time to reschedule when he ended up becoming tied up with work that week, and even made new plans for us. Found out a week later when things were about to get intimate that he wasn’t into me at all and just wasn’t used to getting attention from women and didn’t know what to do. YES to the watermelon sized hints…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:49 AM
50

Your entire post already explains why you’re not missing out-you don’t even need our help! But honestly I think it’s a bit of a bad sign that you’re torn about taking a step back from dating apps especially during a pandemic. I haven’t dated since it started one year ago and I really think choosing not to date while the pandemic is ongoing is the best idea. Most high value people (I’m not saying you’re not high value btw) are not dating right now because it’s too complicated and risky. But what’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:18 PM
4

Don’t worry I understood and totally agree with you sis !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:33 PM
42

If your mate is high value it won’t work that way. After a few months everything should be reciprocal and there’s no such thing as being too interested
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:15 PM
62

Yupppp. Dating for men is a numbers game. Most aren’t really looking for a mate, they just want validation and pussy. If you are high value and have standards finding a mate is so hard. I have HVM friends who are in their early 30s and single by choice because they’re actually looking for a life partner and have yet to find the one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:13 PM
44

I think this is true. HVM won’t think less if you. They also won’t lead you on. They’ll either reject you straight away or only give you a shot if they see potential. The problem is that it takes forever to determine if someone is high value or not and that’s why I don’t ask men out. Too many men are LV/NV so you risk wasting your time on a scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:11 PM
25

He...should know this already. Sorry I’m around a lot of men and they all internalized this years and years ago. If this is an enlightening moment for him imagine all the other things he has yet to unlearn like calling women “females.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:38 AM
8

I might get downvoted to hell for this but does anyone else think that’s too invasive for a first conversation or first date? Purely curious. I wouldn’t answer that question simply because I wouldn’t want to talk about a sad or emotional time in my life with a complete stranger. I would also assume the person asking had poor boundaries or bad social skills. I would definitely ask this on a 5th date or later though. Edit: not to mention, they’re just going to turn the question back on you and thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:39 AM
13

Yeah I really struggle listening to my friends gush about men that they’ve been dating for a month or two. It almost never works out. Usually at the 2/3 month mark (or earlier) things go south.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:24 AM
27

They’re not blaming her for going back to her abuser in general they’re questioning how any human being could stand up for and sleep with a known sex offender and child rapist. He abused his mentally challenged sister!!! Anyone who can date someone knowing that is likely not a good person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:08 AM
15

Yep. She sounds like a bad person too and I’m terrified for her kids if he’s out of jail
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:06 AM
57

Yeah I’m sorry like obviously she’s not as bad as her boyfriend but she’s not a good person either. How could you date and sleep with someone who sexually abused his teenage sister???? How could you stand up for someone like that? And she’s acting like this is a normal situation that every pick me faces. I cant handle this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:05 AM
36

Holy shit I’m so sorry. Being a woman is so scary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:59 AM
67

You’re not catching heat from me. I’m also a black woman and have many conversations with black female friends about how black men are the most immediate and likely threat to our physical safety because they have no respect for us and see themselves as above us. The statistics are there to back it up. When I’m in public, I’m harassed and threatened by black men at a disproportionate level. The reality is that they hate us and hate most women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:57 AM
27

It means they want a woman with no boundaries who won’t defend themselves if he says or does something offensive. If they do he can just call them uptight which will scare women with no self esteem into submission .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:36 PM
28

I’m happy for that clarifying paragraph at the end because as someone whose father apparently turned into an abusive nut job at the two year mark, I do not recommend women get married under two years. Abusers can sometimes hide their true colors for that long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:32 PM
4

I’ve talked to leandra on FB and did not realize she was THAT popular. She’s so down to earth if that’s the case and very smart. She actually has criticized this sub lightly before by going as far to say that there’s no such thing as a HVM in the first place. Whether we agree or not, her argument was compelling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:27 PM
31

Yep. The older I get the more I hate it! First of all, it is so much pressure. You’re asking us out solely based on appearance and then expecting us to say yes to a date with you in .5 seconds based on the same. What’s even worse is that the times it happened to me, it was pretty clear the guy had been observing me for a while which made me feel uneasy. So it’s like, while you’ve sat there for the last 30 mins analyzing what book I’m reading and imagining what my personality is like, I have had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:31 PM
93

They always come back and sometimes in the strangest of ways. I blocked a LVM that I dated and worked with right after we no longer worked together. I blocked his number and blocked him on Instagram and FB. I stopped thinking about him and convinced myself that I’d never hear from him anyway and moved on. Months later, one of my other former coworkers that I stayed friends with told me that the LVM had called him and asked to hang out. He expressed surprise because they were not friends at all a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:42 PM
69

I don’t think this is about whether the person is high value or not, it’s about how much people change and grow in their teens and early twenties. They’re saying , while you very well may find a high value partner who adores you when you’re under 25, you may both turn into completely different people who are no longer compatible in a few years. It’s difficult to know what you truly want out of life when you’re that age. Your prefrontal cortex is also not developed so you’re literally not finishe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:10 PM
25

I think you’re kind of in point honestly. My friend dated a guy who was on the phone for an hour his first date for “work” and judging by how things played out I am fully convinced he was on the phone with an ex or another woman he was courting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:29 PM
91

Don’t underestimate the importance of what you did that night! Story time: I had a friend who was an amazing woman but was always a pickmeisha. She went on a first date with a guy and when they got to the restaurant he said he had to take a phone call for work and that he would be “ten mins.” He left the table and was in the bathroom on the phone for almost an HOUR and she just sat there and waited for him. She said that when he got back she implied that what he did was kind of rude but brushed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:19 PM
70

Apparently a lot of young women did. I found out on the date that he always dated younger women (19-20) and that he thought i was younger than I was. He asked me why younger women liked him so much and it took everything I had not to say “because they don’t know any better.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:39 PM
11

Compliments on my looks are so...not welcomed. The only shallow compliment I like from men is if they think I’m wearing a really cool jacket or pair of shoes (My style is pretty unisex, so I often get genuine compliments from men on my clothing). I don’t like compliments from men when I’m on dates because they’re usually expecting a certain reaction or they think that their compliments are validating. When they say we’re funny or smart they either sound surprised or what expectantly as if I’m su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:24 PM
48

I agree that it’s a weird thing to say. I just smile and say “because I really enjoy it!” Honestly, people leave me alone after that, especially when I say it in a genuine manner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:16 PM
208

I went on a date with a 40 year old when I was 22 and he negged me the entire time, assuming I was too young to know exactly what I was doing. “You’re way hotter than I thought you were when we first met.” “You’re actually funny! I mean, you’re not like really funny, like I’m not laughing out loud but you’re funny enough.” “You’re pretty smart for your age. I’m not like blown away by it, but I’m surprised.” He said so many other insane things. I cut the date short and rejected him when he asked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:15 PM
26

I agree that this would help! I feel like I have helped quite a few women see the value in themselves since discovering FDS, but there are always a few that find my way of living off-putting. I should however be thankful for the many female friends I DO have. They are strong and intelligent and love me deeply!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:00 PM
28

This is exactly why I’m not dating right now. I have a NVM father. On top of that, every woman in my family is married to a LVM or NVM. For that reason, it’s actually easy for me to vet men and see them for what they are but it’s almost impossible for me to trust them. Deep down, I doubt that good men actually exist and used to not want to get married.... but in a way, that’s a bit of a problem because dating casually is a waste of time, honestly. No matter how we view the relationship, it will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:18 PM
78

I’ve found that men respect me way more— women do as well. But, while they do respect me, a lot of women don’t like me because I think they feel...emotionally naked around women who have evolved past where they are in life. It’s sad because I used to get along with pretty much every woman I met, but that has certainly changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:21 PM
35

So many people are going to get dumped when the pandemic is over and clubs open back up...my God.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:48 PM
182

HA she’s not worried about “what he could (or couldn’t) provide” her, she’s more worried about what he would TAKE from her since he has absolutely nothing of his own. Scrote, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 06:55 PM
19

People mentioned this but I have a lot of reporter friends and drinks is really the best way to get information out of people, especially men. Also a lot of reporters have long-running relationships with their sources to keep them in their corner and getting drinks or dinner is kind of inevitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:08 PM
14

Next time don’t even pick up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:31 PM
155

It’s rare to meet a man who doesn’t have at least one misogynistic, racist, or otherwise vile friend. When that friend is revealed to be an ass the guy always says that he “doesn’t even like that guy” yet can never explain why he keeps hanging out with him. The reality is that they don’t really care. Anyone who tolerates crap like misogynistic jokes and as you said otherwise “weird shit” from their friends secretly doesn’t think it’s all that bad. If they did they would be so grossed out by it t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 02:16 AM
20

Yup. I was struggling to answer the first few questions and then I finally thought “well... that’s because I wouldn’t date a guy who wanted to go clubbing without me or who was hugging a bunch of women who aren’t me.” It’s not that hard to find guys that aren’t doing those things tbh. The entire line of questioning is silly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:54 PM
5

I can really tell this is true just going by the number of men who became less interested in me after finding out I’m 26 and not some 19 year old with a fake ID. Apparently I look 19-21 right? So if it’s all about looking young, they should feel like they hit the jackpot right? Not the case because they want someone they can manipulate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:31 PM
98

I was about to say...it’s extremely common for men to change their behavior temporarily and then fall back into old habits. Two days of effort does not warrant a celebration of any kind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:54 PM
5

The toughest symptom of leveling up is that women just don’t take to me as much as they used to. They always like me at first, but once we become closer and they start talking about dating crappy men, they realize pretty quickly that we’re on different pages and for some reason a lot of women aren’t ok with that. However there are so many women who have told me that they learn a lot from me and that I inspire them to have higher standards and that makes it all worth it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:32 PM
27

That last sentence tho...I have a few gay male friends that I consider friends for life but a couple of others I had to give up on. One was just really rude to my group of girlfriends. He also had a habit of implying some of my friends didn’t deserve their “hot” bfs and acted like a gatekeeper for women’s beauty. He really didn’t try that shit with me because I refuse to accept it, but a couple of times when we were drunk he broke down about how he felt a lot of the guys in our friend group woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:32 PM
70

Thank you. I thought I was one of few people who thought this! So many people are clearly drunk off of being able to say “my ex” and it just shows that the guy is still living in their head rent free after so many years. “My ex was from Copenhagen too!” “My ex used to love peanut butter” like...WHO CARES? I also think some people say it to appear desirable. Whenever I talk about someone I dated I just say “a guy I know.” I’ll only ever say “someone I dated” if the fact that we dated is relevant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:57 PM
98

If she thinks WAPs are so useless than why does she think it’s necessary to let them know she has one (times 10 apparently)? Does she think it’s going to get her picked faster? This is so fucking embarrassing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:04 PM
1

Every single state offers a state ID that looks very similar to a license. IDs are a requirement and people need to have them for work, taxes, etc, whether they drive or not. I live in a big city (always have) and don’t like to drive, so I have a state ID!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:07 AM
124

This is really what people mean when they say men and women can't be "just friends." Most straight men are not nice to women they don't find somewhat attractive and I would go as far to say almost 100% of straight guys do not befriend and invest in women they wouldn't sleep with at least once. Again, it's not that they are in love with every woman they befriend, but that they absolutely would fuck her if she put it out there. I think that some guys are good at quelling those thoughts and being d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:05 PM
3

I agree with a post-date survey, but i think it should be one that is purely focused on safety and whether the guy "acted appropriately." Instead of users having to jump through hoops to get other users banned from apps, people should be prompted to report inappropriate and LV behavior both after the date and after about five days of online interaction. The offenses can be categorized at different levels. For instance, a guy who talks about his ex the entire date should get reported for a minor …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:53 PM
66

Honestly, the hardest part about leveling up has been the disdain I've received from other women. I've been branded as uptight and bitchy b/c I just don't want to prioritize men and really don't want my friends or roommates to either. My last roommate had multiple strange men over each week without asking me. Not only was it just annoying to walk into my living room and see a random guy there, but it was also straight up unsafe for both of us. When I simply stopped greeting every strange man she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:13 PM
10

“Someone I like who adds to my life.” That’s my favorite one. I think there are a lot of ways to actually answer the question directly while still being vague. Saying things like “I’m looking for someone I can grow and learn with” is still super vague and also impossible to force. It’s much more of a long-term goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:14 PM
38

Ok..I swear I can’t deal with these men anymore. This has to be terrible for our mental health. Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:08 PM
309

The number of times a man made up another woman because I wasn’t being quite as easy as they expected me to be is almost too high to count. They seem to think it’ll make you want them more because you “lost your chance” when in reality they’re just shooting themselves in the foot. They always end up coming back, sometimes just a few days later, but I have never and will never re-enter a romantic relationship with a man who initially chose another woman (real or not) over me, so joke’s on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:05 PM
359

Yep. He was hoping she would beg him to give her another chance and that she would sleep with him anyway because she was feeling negged. This entire things is laughable but also terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:03 PM
5

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:37 AM
39

Yep. My theory is a lot of people who started pandemic relationships are going to get dumped with a quickness when things go back to normal. It’ll be like the “turkey dump” back in college where all the freshman guys broke up with their high school gfs because they were surrounded by “hotter” women that they thought they had a chance with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:03 PM
19

Claims of women being golddiggers is so weird because the only golddiggers I’ve met have been men. I work with a couple of guys who brag about their wives making more money than them, and while it might seem progressive, they always use it as an excuse to not work for a promotion or to look for a higher paying job. I find it atrocious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:44 PM
19

Seriously. I don’t understand why all of these long ass answers are getting upvoted. Where there’s smoke there’s fire. Dump his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:54 PM
27

Because I have a lot going for me, but have a bad habit of chasing. I’ve done it multiple times in the last couple of years: I’d meet a guy at a party or group outing and ask for his number. Then I’d get all excited and text him, trying to coax him to ask me out. Needless to say it never ended well. Now I look back and realize those guys were never interested in me and were probably making fun of me behind my back. Part of the problem was I had a lot of feminist friends who thought that women sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:31 PM
65

This is so true and it’s a really good response to anyone who says “you’re too picky.” Being single in my 30s, 40s, and beyond is not only very imaginable to me, it’s also very much a possibility, especially since I have yet to meet someone who makes me happier than I make myself. When I imagine my future, I see a small house near a beach town, a garden, a sleekly decorated living room, a fulfilling career, and really good hair. However, I rarely imagine myself with a partner and never with kids…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:26 PM
11

My ex was the fucking king of “Just wanted to check in” and he NEVER “just wanted to check in.” If I responded, he would always make some attempt to get relationship benefits from me within the first couple of texts or the first 15 minutes of the conversation. He usually would emotionally dump on me about something but sometimes he would try to make the conversation oddly romantic? Like we’ve been broken up for years, I don’t have feelings for you bro and I’m not sexually attracted to you either…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:59 PM
7

FWB has worked for me only ONE time in adulthood and it was because we had already tried dating and I was the one to reject him. We ran in the same social circle and would often run into each other at social events throughout the week so there was some social accountability there. We had a lot in common and we were platonic friends for a while before we started sleeping together every now and then, meaning once every few months. Because we slept together so little, there was no emotional connect…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:37 PM
8

Well said. This is exactly why I’m not dating right now. I’m financially stable, take good care of myself, and have hobbies I enjoy, BUT I’m unsatisfied with my job and feel uncertain about my career trajectory. I’m taking a long time away from dating so I can figure out what I’m doing with my life, but also because I’m not interested in dating a guy who is stuck in a similar phase in his journey. There’s nothing attractive about being unhappy with work. It’s a sad reality for a lot of people, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:04 PM
1

I’m really tiny- most people can wrap their hands around my forearms with no problem. So, even if a guy is an inch or two shorter than me he’s almost always thicker/stockier if that makes sense. Their legs, arms, torso, etc are still significantly bigger than mine and they’re much heavier and stronger than me. In that sense they’re still “larger.” And yeah I didn’t feel less feminine or anything. He actually just was kind of child sized and looked really young because he was so small. Again, I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 03:53 PM
1

I prefer that men are physically fit in some way, but I’m not that particular about which way. Only thing is I don’t have any interest in dating someone who is super jacked for seemingly no reason. As an active person, natural athleticism is more appealing to me. The last thing is a charming smile (not necessarily perfect, just charming) and man that can look cute rather than rugged. Edit: A tight butt is a plus. I went from not noticing a guy to being super thirsty for him when I noticed the br…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 03:20 PM
2

I’m 5’2, 100lbs and I’m athletic. I climb, lift, and run. I’ve dated guys that were my height or a little shorter, but were stronger and also athletic and that was fine for me. I thought that meant I didn’t care about size until I dated one guy who was both shorter and physically smaller than me. He was athletic but just a tiny person. I couldn’t get past it and won’t say yes to a date with a guy who’s smaller than me again.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 03:10 PM
45

Oh I have so many. Sent me a shirtless selfie right before the date. Didn’t tell me he had a son until AFTER I said yes to going out with him. He dropped the bomb right after I said yes and basically walked off, which made it seem really manipulative. We set a time and general location for the date. One hour before the meeting time, I reached out to confirm. He didn’t respond so I went home. Hours later he said he got caught up at work. I said “k” and blocked him. A couple of guys have challenge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:48 PM
7

Yeah I’ve dated two men who had therapists and they both were pretty crappy partners. A lot of men think acknowledging they have a problem is all it takes and that’s simply not enough. If you go into therapy and think “I’ve arrived. I’m aware I have a problem and I’m willing to talk about it” but don’t put energy into correcting the behavior you wind up with someone who’s constantly stewing in their negative feelings and it can really make matters worse. The men I dated talked about their proble…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:03 PM
35

Yep!! I’m never into comments reassuring the poster that he is, in fact, treating this woman like trash too. I never get joy out of knowing another woman is in a bad relationship. How he treats her really shouldn’t matter. Nothing he does matters because he was a bad bf to YOU, so good riddance. You’re already winning at life by not being with him. Tell your friends that you’ve moved on from him and would appreciate it if they did too then block him everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:06 PM
30

I noticed recently on Reddit that a lot of men claim that women aren’t receptive when they open up which is why they stifle their emotions and I’m starting to think that’s untrue. I don’t think women shoot them down, I think it’s likely that some women don’t want to hear about their 8th grade gf who cheated on them as an excuse to be a bad partner. To be honest, a lot of men’s sob stories are usually ridiculous and fail to compare to the insane amount of trauma I and a lot of other people have f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:19 PM
19

It actually sounds like y’all may have similar communication styles which is not a bad thing. If he’s responding after 6 he’s likely prioritizing work. I’m personally turned off by people who are glued to their phones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:43 PM
71

People who have issues with this post probably aren’t considering that cheating can look like a lot of different things. There’s emotional cheating and physical cheating. It’s not always that a guy is stringing along women and cheating consistently behind your back and lying to your face. Sometimes it’s just one time. I do think most men are capable of cheating, especially because a lot of them are stunted emotionally so when they’re feeling a strong emotion, they tend to either lash out, isolat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 02:20 PM
81

Meanwhile, her smoke alarm is beeping because she hasn’t bought new batteries for it. Priorities, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:59 PM
118

Yeah this has happened to me multiple times. One man approached me when I was waiting for the subway-I was 23 at the time. He started chatting me up talking about how much money he had and showed me his watches. He said he got some of it from dealing drugs. He asked me where I went to school and I said “I don’t, I graduated.” Then he said “oh where do you plan to go to college then?.” I looked at him and said “I graduated college.” And he put his hands in the air the exact way you’re describing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:10 PM
51

Yeah a cheap guy who talks about other women and asks invasive questions about to your sexual history isn’t worth any effort or strategy at all...I feel like this is against FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 12:19 PM
1

I’m 5’3 on a good day, and have gone out with three guys that were shorter than me. Two of them I met on an app so I didn’t know they were shorter until we met. All three of them lied about their heights. One guy said he was 5’4 online and turned out to be maybe 5’0! The guy I met in person kept saying he was 5’4 and he was exactly my height. Like, I can see you bro. 👀 I know we’re the same height. It’s so strange because we’ll find out the truth eventually. They should want to date someone who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 12:37 PM
3

Lol no because a lot of people with addictions and unresolved emotional problems would and do gamble away $10 in the same way that people with drug addictions will skip paying utilities for drugs and in the same way I know women and men who had wonderful partners who cheated on them with people they didn’t even like who had significantly less to offer. A lot of cheaters cheat for irrational, emotional reasons that have nothing to do with the value of their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/20 02:53 PM
2

I know quite a few serial cheaters who had gfs who were super hot, supported them financially while they chased their dreams, were patient with them, and seemed all around perfect for them and they still cheated with women who were objectively less attractive and didn’t have much to offer. I truly think a lot of cheaters just need therapists and it has nothing at all to do with who they’re dating or whether that person “offered value” or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/20 02:48 PM
21

Yeah something similar has happened to me. A guy kind of cold approached me in a restaurant. We talked for a while and I agreed to give him my number. we texted a bit before the first date and then he just randomly said “I have to pick up my son from day care so talk to you later.” I was 24 at the time .... Kids are a dealbreaker for me so I rejected him in a very straightforward way, but he didn’t take no for an answer until I threatened to report him. I get that having children definitely impa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:09 PM
13

I do this all the time especially because I loooove food and don’t want to have to rely on someone else’s schedule to try a new place. I didn’t realize it was an uncommon thing to do until a friend pointed it out. Then I noticed I was often the only solo woman at the bar. Oh well. I have fun with myself 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:33 PM
14

Do it! Find something you like and make friends! Being really dedicated to a hobby or sport also just makes you seem more interesting and attractive to pretty much everyone in existence. I’ve found that I can more easily meet people outside of the community just because folks think my hobby is cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:35 PM
10

Making female friends happened somewhat immediately for me. I did have to put myself out there quite a bit, but that’s so easy to do with other women! Most women are easy to connect with and so fun to be around. I can’t say how long it would take to meet a love interest because that has a lot to do with luck and chance. For some people it happens right away. For me it was like 6 months in that it seemed like there were eligible bachelors in every aspect of my life suddenly. All I can say is the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:32 PM
33

I agree with the other user that the best way to meet people is to establish little communities throughout your life that fit into your daily routine. Having a 2nd home that’s a semi public place seriously helps. For instance, my dating life changed once I got invested in a physical hobby (think climbing, squash, boxing, cross fit... something along those lines). I didn’t get into it to date obviously, but because I was spending so much time with people in that community it came naturally. For i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:41 PM
34

While we’re on the subject, I’d like to bury this idea that “dating is a numbers game” once and for all. People are misusing that line to support OLD and it pisses me off. I genuinely have yet to see any correlation between using OLD and finding a long-term partner, let alone finding one faster. I have friends who are beautiful, smart, interesting, and have good jobs who went on multiple app dates per month for years but are still single. I have girlfriends who used OLD religiously for years and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:18 PM
14

But mainly, I just know that the guy I am looking for isn’t one to go on dating apps like dating is a mission and he has the intent to find a girl I haven’t used dating apps in years for all of the reasons you mentioned but the way you put this is spot on. The reality is, the majority of men on dating apps are usually kinda desperate. I hate dating apps so much and find them degrading toe everyone involved, so I genuinely doubt I’d ever meet a like minded person on there. I also know for a fact …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:02 PM
22

Good point. I Iive in a city where happy hour is a big deal and I used to like HH first dates for similar reasons: A) Between food and drink discounts, HH is cheaper than dinner so if a guy didn’t offer to pay, it 100% meant he was either stingy af or just not interested B) there were fun things to do ( games, people watching, puzzles) other than just chatting if you weren’t hitting it off and C) HH has a cutoff time so if I wasn’t into it I would leave and either go to a different bar and enjoy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:25 PM
71

Yeah this is actually the #1 reason I don’t date. I’m too busy to risk going on a disappointing outing with a stranger when I could be using that time to have a guaranteed blast with myself or a close friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:43 PM
5

Yeah the one guy I dated who always said he was honest just used it as an excuse to demean people and be overall tactless. He dumped me in a way that was really lazy and rude and he just kept saying “but I was honest???” when I told him he was being an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:40 PM
13

Second sentence is really throwing me for a loop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:15 PM
37

That loneliness is normal but always temporary. NEVER use that as a reason to stick around. Time truly does heal all and in time you won’t crave the sex or attention from him or any man. You can do it, you just need to make that first critical step.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:25 PM
26

No people who say “shut up” or engage in name calling when they’re arguing have unhealthy conflict styles and should be nexted. I have never and will never call someone I care about a name or tell them to “shut the fuck up” I don’t care how mad we are at one another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:20 PM
100

Block him!!!! Also that friend is awful. Never listen to someone who says “men just don’t know what they want/need!! He’ll come around.” No fuck that. Men know exactly what they want. Take his actions and his words -which were rude af by the way- at face value and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:00 PM
16

Well in this case I would just move on, he was wasting your time. The porch excuse was awful. But for me, the FIRST time someone does something like this to me, whether a date or a platonic friend, as long as they have an excuse, I don’t call it out. NOT because I think it’s ok, but because it’s a good way to see if they’ll own up to their mistakes without you having to point out where they went wrong. It’s a test of emotional intelligence. For instance leave him with no response at all OR just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:19 PM
29

Wow...How embarrassing for him. Good job, sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:33 PM
39

I will say that any man who says he hates Valentine’s Day because it’s a capitalist holiday is a walking red flag. Those same men will celebrate every other holiday under the sun. Do they think Father’s Day is a stupid capitalist holiday too? Probably not. They’re just trying to lower their standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 04:40 PM
138

The one guy who asked why she’s “afraid of data” 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 03:23 PM
13

If a partnership isn’t giving growth and a better life experience to both people, wtf is it for? I feel like most people on earth have yet to internalize this, and that makes me really sad. People always think that being in a couple is just better than being single as if people in relationships are just inherently happier and that’s not the case. Being single means never having to consider anyone else but yourself when you make decisions, it means never having to take on someone’s burdens, it me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:48 PM
1

Yep I totally agree. When I had them i would always wonder why a stranger I’ve never met was at all invested in me and why I should invest in them. It’s a very odd process
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:09 PM
12

Oof yep for them it’s like hitting the jackpot when a woman makes the first move. Like “ I don’t have to do any work and I get to have sex while I wait for the woman of my dreams to come around? Sweet deal.” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:01 PM
8

The second one is particularly interesting because it causes us to think about what constitutes a first move. And I agree with you. Honestly from here on out a first move to me is asking me on a date, not flirting, not a confession of feelings, not chasing—a date. Good on you for rejecting that loser!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:51 PM
14

Yeah I think we assume men are like us and that if they’re not interested at all they’ll reject us, and that’s why so many women think making the first move is not a big deal. But the reality is men aren’t like us and a positive response can just be out of boredom, horniness, etc. I don’t need a fucking man, bitch, they need me Yes say it again!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:49 PM
10

Holy crap that’s awful! It’s like they get off on the thought that they are supposedly desirable enough to reel someone in only to ditch later. That’s why we can’t change plans for men. And yes so many male friends have given me really shitty pickme advice about dating. The only male advice I can trust is from my dad because he’s old school and brutally honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:44 PM
7

I’m so sorry this happened to you! I hope if anything you value yourself even more now. It took me until this year to really internalize that men have very specific types and, unlike women, are not socialized to view anyone outside of that type as equally appealing or valuable human beings. Unfortunately, when you make the first move you always find out what their type is when it’s too damn late—and in the worst way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:37 PM
29

it’s because he’s either horny or interested in you. You won’t be able to tell. Preach. 🙌🏾 Women always forget that men are not like them! Most women simply reject men they’re not interested and move on, but most men will gladly USE a woman they’re not interested in. The odds that the guy was already interested in you or that he’ll reject you outright if he’s not interested are NOT HIGH ENOUGH to justify a first move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:46 PM
32

I completely agree. One of my close friends confided in me recently that her bf cheated on her a year into their relationship. They were considering an open relationship and he cheated on her BEFORE they officially decided to do it. He literally couldn’t wait until it was “technically” ok. She then crossed a line later on as a way to get back at him. She claims they’re good now and they’ve been together for a long while but they still fight allllll the time over dumb shit and I know it’s really …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:13 PM
29

It’s also whack cause she lost interest in him after getting to know him better and he’s acting like her making the first move would’ve changed that....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:04 PM
17

Ive always found that the women I know who “made the first move” on their now bfs/husbands didn’t really make the first move so to speak.... For instance, I have a friend who says she made the first move, but what she means is the guy asked for her number, always texted first, asked her to go on a road trip with him, and initiated workouts with her multiple times a week, but just genuinely didn’t have the guts to ask her out because he feared he didn’t fit her ideal type. After months of that sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:50 PM
7

I understand the first two points since that comes down to personal preference, but C is the reason I don’t do it. That’s such a HUGE “if” that can have shitty consequences if you’re not the guy’s type. You’d like to think that a guy will just turn you down if you’re not his physical type but that’s only if you’re lucky. If the woman is decent looking enough to them, a lot of the time they will string them along and sleep with them, even go on dates with them while they wait for their ideal type…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:29 PM
28

This is more true to my experience as well. Never spoke poorly of the last woman but spoke of her too much for someone who was looking to start something new. Said they were “still friends” but she left him soooo heartbroken he wasn’t sure he would love again....until he met me 🙄. He turned out to be a narcissist who was just love bombing me. He really didn’t treat me well and gaslit and lied to me to the very end. But he is still to this day convinced he did everything right and tells people we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:05 PM
6

Honestly as someone who doesn’t use dating apps, this is more like the reality I expected. I feel like the uncertainty of the entire situation would make men even more fickle because they don’t know if/when they can meet up in person or not which is usually really important to them. I imagine seemingly good matches fizzling out within a month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:06 AM
57

Don’t sweat it. I truly think that men and OLD are the problem, not you. Keep doing what you’re doing and block and move on. Men get really really lazy on dating apps because it’s somewhat anonymous and they can ditch without a trace and without facing repercussions. Even after you meet them once, the lack of mutual friends means you only know as much about them as they let you know, which makes them more likely to disappear. Also if you’re gonna OLD at least get rid of bumble! The woman has to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 11:34 PM
12

I agree with the other ladies—you really can’t tell if you’re compatible with someone through apps, FaceTime, or texting. There are too many things that are easy to miss or hide if you’re only having a couple of FT dates per week and chemistry is almost impossible to detect. Also we’re all in the middle of a pandemic and I’m guessing if you’re on a dating app, you’re not being pulled in as many different directions as you were pre Covid-19, due to fewer social and work obligations. As a result, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 11:10 PM
199

All of these women are “10s,” period. But I bet my life savings that this dude looks like the gum I scraped off the bottom of my shoe this morning. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:15 PM
18

I see your point but I really don’t think shaved and trimmed are the same thing. One is very inconvenient and can cause pretty significant discomfort like razor bumps, itching, etc and the other is...just trimming lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 12:16 AM
17

Seriously this guy should be done. If he’s already expressing his preferences about how you maintain your pubic region before he’s even seen you naked how do you think he’s going to talk about your body once you do have sex? How about a year from now when he feels like he has you locked down and can say whatever he wants? Yeah it’s gonna be a no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:45 PM
1

For 6 and 7, I would consider talking it out with them if they came clean about it right away, but it would really depend on the details. I would definitely lean toward ending things. I would leave without a second thought in every other situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 02:21 PM
2

If you weren't really interested, why would you hint that you'd be available another time and continue to ditch? That's just wasting people's time. It’s not that I wasn’t interested at all, it was more that I needed more time to figure out if I was into him enough to date him. I’m very rarely interested in people I’ve known less than a couple of months, so if a guy asks me out after one meeting, it’s a crapshoot for both of us. Couple that with the fact that I wasnt actively seeking a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 09:48 PM
13

I think the reason you’re not getting a direct answer to this is because A) that woman’s behavior was uncommon and you’re not going to find many people who have tested a potential partner that way to answer this question for you; and B) people who are capable of such batshit behavior are not self aware enough to reflect on whether they did something wrong or not. I’ve never met a woman who has “tested” a man like that, but I doubt anyone who does is sane. This is probably not a scenario you need…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 08:07 PM
1

It really doesn’t happen often, but the couple of times it did, it was so obvious why they stopped, so I never put much thought into it. In one situation a guy pursued me and we went on a date that started out pretty well, but we hit a snag during dinner. We had different values and neither of us were looking to compromise. We ended the date on a decent note by talking pretty openly about life and our insecurities, but we didn’t establish whether or not we would see each other again. We never di…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 07:37 PM
136

This happened to me my first time having sex. The guy was a bit older and knew it was my first time, but he kept pushing on my back and pulling my hair. I felt so weird and uncomfortable during it but couldn’t put my finger on why. Men are so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:06 PM
37

Crap that’s ridiculous. One thing I’ve learned from dating men is they’re ALWAYS keeping a tally of who’s done what for whom-it’s exhausting. But that tally never really adds up. Oddly enough they rarely consider emotional support or acts of service as a contribution. 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:02 PM
24

This. It also pisses me off that they talk about their full time jobs as an excuse to kick their shoes off when they get home as if taking care of a newborn, maintaining a house, and cooking all day everyday isn't also a full-time job!! Where is her time off? As someone who has a full-time office job and babysits occasionally, I would take the office job any day. Taking care of children is incredibly hard work. She's probably way more exhausted than he is at the end of the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:40 PM
18

Thanks for putting this into words so well. I’ve always instantly dismissed guys who use pet names or do anything to force a sense of familiarity too soon, but I could never explain why it bothered me so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 12:57 PM
9

Yup. The frustrating thing is that a lot of guys do think this way about their race, income, etc, but very few are actually dumb enough to say this to a POC outright. The fact that they often hide it makes the vetting process harder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:31 PM
29

Honestly you really shouldn’t be “fighting” with your new partner pretty much at all within the first three months, but that’s just my two cents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:44 PM
9

Never. You basically have to hope they’ll wake up one day feeling tired of the bullshit. When you think about it, that goes for any type of bad habit. No matter how many times you beg your friend to stop over drinking or tell them they should really clean their room it doesn’t matter, they have to decide they want better for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:30 PM
6

I don’t demand better so much as I just expect it. As a result I’ve found that I reject a lot of guys after date one or two. If he’s stressing me out or making me feel uncertain, he has to go. I really don’t care to ask them to change, it’s just time to move on. I agree with others, I date less, but I don’t get lonely because my life is more peaceful without men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 07:41 PM
5

The mods are responsive to msgs. You can always ask them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:56 PM
1

I think this is beautifully put. I don’t think it’s fair to tone police women who are clearly in the resentment phase. There’s a part of me that’s still there too. But I would love to see more encouragement to push through it because I want to see what’s on the other side
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:59 PM
6

Making a shitty pass at someone is not what I mean by “existing” Try getting called names to your face or assaulted when you’re walking down the street minding your business. I don’t know why you’re sitting here caping for men you don’t know, but I have nothing left to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:53 PM
6

I think you’re missing the fact that the women here resort to categorizing men that way only after those men have demonstrated a hatred or complete disregard for women in the first place. They’re not talking about innocent men who’ve done nothing wrong. Men on the other hand demean women for simply existing, so please stop saying it’s the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:45 PM
44

Same. I love how she said “unfortunately 🙄...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:28 AM
8

They’re always looking to use someone. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:24 AM
22

IMO the entire point of this sub is to look at things as if they are black and white as a way to protect yourself. Most women go through life dating for potential or ignoring red flags early because they think the guy they’re dating could be the exception not the rule. But in reality, thinking of a guy as a HVM who occasionally “shows low value qualities” is exactly what got most of us on this sub into shitty dating situations or relationships in the first place. You’d be surprised at what that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:20 AM
2

Thank you, sis!! You too 🍰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 02:19 AM
21

Yep. I will never get married within two years of knowing someone. The man should be talking about marriage for sure, but you don't have to go along with it. A lot of women report it took months, sometimes years, for their partners to become abusive. My dad waited two years to start abusing my mom. If abusers can hide that side of themselves for that long, trust and believe men can hide other things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 05:17 PM
22

I think you made a smart decision, not only because he’s a poor communicator, but also because in most cases like these, the men usually don’t show up and it ends up being a huge waste of time. In this case the guy ended up being an exception, not the rule. But based on the information you were given, you were right to not show up. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Something similar happened to me two years ago. We picked a specific day to go on a date, but settled on a general time (“after work”) and place. When the day c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:52 PM
24

First of all, it wouldn't be rude for you to pump the breaks. If you're not ready, that's reason enough to stay single. Not much else to say, but around these parts a couple of strategists have said that if you're going to get back with an ex, you should start from the beginning at the "courting stage" instead of just picking up where you left off. It's honestly some of the best advice I've read on here and if I had known this a couple of years ago I would've saved a lot of time with an ex I end…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:42 PM
42

Being a HVW definitely reduces your "options." Your confidence may cause men to approach you more, but you may also find that you're being dumped more often. That's because once LVM and ZVM see that you are an independent woman with standards, they know you will leave them if they don't measure up. A man who knows he can't meet those standards will not bother to invest in you knowing they'll inevitably get dumped. They'd rather find someone who will dote on them for less. However, I do think bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:35 PM
85

“Will treat men far better...” If you mean they’re more likely to put up with their shit then yeah probably. “It encourages women to become more valuable by their own standards rather than by the standards of...men” ....As if that’s a bad thing?? “It’s not proven to work.” Where are the receipts? What most critics of FDS seem to miss is that the point of FDS is not to land a man, it’s about self improvement, gaining independence, and avoiding and dumping shitty men if you choose to date in the f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:34 PM
24

You know its sad but pickmes think that way too. When I talk to my friends about dating and express disdain for men and say I’m genuinely not interested in investing in them at the moment, my friends look at me like I have three heads and ask me if I’ve considered women since I clearly don’t like men (as if sexuality works that way). So many women I know claim to be tired of the way men treat us on a global scale and some even claim to hate them, but their actions never reflect that. Like y’all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 03:30 PM
19

Yes. I think it’s more than ok to prefer to receive and even give a certain type of love, but functioning adults in serious relationships should be somewhat fluent in every love language. If a loved one is having a particularly rough time and they come to you for help and all you can give is a pat on the shoulder, you’re emotionally unintelligent and need to work on that. Different people are good for different things, yes. But certain things should be a minimum expectation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 05:59 PM
33

That entire comments section is a freaking nightmare
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:32 PM
12

This is underrated and I think this way of thinking comes into play more than we realize. They’re not emotionally intelligent enough to acknowledge that, although breaking up with someone and allowing them to move on is difficult at first, it’s still the right thing to do and is better than leading someone on and fizzling out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:29 PM
39

Agreed. I will add that doing this consciously helps you realize even sooner that he was never a HVM in the first place. Vetting men the way I vet friends not only raised my standards but also proved to be a complete mindfuck because it made me realize that I was subconsciously being more patient with romantic interests than I was with platonic friends. For instance, if you started a friendship with a woman you just met and you caught her telling white lies about her height and social status wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 02:55 PM
9

I mean who cares about why he did that and what he was thinking ? He’s essentially still a stranger but is showing a field of red flags already. Just block and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:26 AM
10

Good! I usually find it anticlimactic and simply annoying when they do try to crawl back. Every text from an ex just reminds me they think I’m stupid and weak for them. You don’t need to see that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:20 AM
51

I remember the previous post and Jesus...female intuition is really something else. There is nothing like having a killer group of women like this sub to help you see these things for what they are. I’m so so sorry this happened to you, but have to say it’s very typical love bombing behavior. He’ll idealize her the same way he idealized you and will be on his best behavior until things go south.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:03 PM
15

Yep. And when he does, block him, sis!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:00 PM
124

Anyone whose first reaction to their partner showing emotion is to destroy something that belongs to them is an abuser, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:58 AM
26

Same. All of the male contrarians I know think it makes them seem intelligent when in reality, they’re probably some of the worst debaters I know. Disagreeing with largely commonplace opinions pretty much always requires making some really outlandish, irrelevant, and shitty arguments. Their favorite premise is “but what if there was no one else on earth.” Sweetie if you have to stage an apocalypse for your opinion to pack a punch then your argument is bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:23 AM
14

Wait a minute... He’s ignoring your texts? He left you on read when you told him you love him? Sis this isn’t someone you should be with...his actions speak loud and clear. You know what you need to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:08 AM
39

Every type of woman, :) but the fact that they singled out black women just shows that they like to associate us (black women) with things they hate. So over it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 07:44 PM
145

Actually, FDS has amazing black women* who are doing just the opposite. We’re finally realizing we don’t have to settle for NVM and ZVM like “Skylar,” even though the world tells us over and over and over again that it’s all we deserve. Eat shit, Bobby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:08 PM
10

Yes this. Men who do this think women are simple. They assume “if you make them feel good about themselves, they’ll be in the palm of your hand.” No. We’re complex beings—usually more complex than men. It takes more than that to stimulate us and gain our interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:56 PM
32

That just means they’re sending the same lines to every woman they match with, which indicates a lack of sincerity and creativity. If a guy keeps hitting me with “hey gorgeous” or some shit like that, I just assume he has a boring and shallow personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 11:31 AM
11

You mention "avoiding talk of commitment," but the sub doesn't advocate for that. Of course I'm going to talk to my partner about the future, that's a completely normal and healthy thing to do when you're in a good relationship. Here's a perspective: When i was younger I used to hate that my mom would always say "men are hunters." As someone who considered myself to be a liberal/radical feminist at the time, statements like that seemed gendered and sexist. The older I got and the more I dated, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:01 PM
43

"Help us." Absolutely fucking not you fucking waste of space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:31 PM
4

I keep him at an arms length. My dad isn’t absent at all he’s actually quite supportive and thinks of me constantly but he was very abusive growing up. It traumatized me and ruined my childhood. Once I was in college and he was still acting like an asshole I gave him an ultimatum and said “if you do xyz again you will never see me again.” He’s pretty much stopped since then and when he starts to get mean or angry I call him out and he stops. But the real key here is that I see him and talk to hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:32 AM
72

They genuinely don’t care, sis. Most men are looking for: An emotional dumpster. someone that allows them to talk about their feelings for hours without expecting them to reciprocate, or An echo chamber/ parrot who will agree with or laugh at everything they say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:20 AM
23

They truly think we’re all stupid af and that’s why they challenge us constantly. I once dated (never again) a guy and we were talking about my anemia, which I’ve had on and off for 10 years. I explained it was because I have a heavy cycle that sometimes comes around multiple times a month. He said “mm no. That doesn’t make sense.” And went on to mansplain that “ if the volume of blood goes down then the overall volume of iron goes down too so it shouldn’t make a difference because the proportio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:57 PM
6

Honestly good for you. I always want to support my friends, but you can’t let it get to the point where their NVM is having a negative impact on your life. I have one friend who is such a sweet woman but she always dates losers. Her current bf acts like she’s his second mom. he also lies to her constantly and has cancelled plans he had with her on Valentine’s Day and her birthday to spend time with other women. She talked about him so much that it started to interfere with my life and my health.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:47 PM
4

Ok well we may just have to agree to disagree on this one because I don’t think 30 mins is long and I don’t think y’all owe each other explanations for small breaks in convo at this point. However I do think it all depends on what you’re looking for in a partner. I respect your standards and if it works for you, keep them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 01:50 PM
5

Is that a long time in your opinion? Judging by your responses, I personally think the bigger issue here is you’re spending too much time talking to these guys in the first place. They’re strangers who haven’t yet earned your time or attention and constantly texting back and forth with someone you don’t know can make you seem too available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 01:36 PM
47

I can’t believe she was asking female commenters who gave well thought out opinions if their freaking “husbands were around” as if a woman’s perspective isn’t enough. That’s something a ZVM would say. She freaking out-pickmeisha’d herself. She’s come full circle now. I’m distraught.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 01:26 PM
17

This is interesting. When I think about some women I know who say their boyfriends are their best friends, a lot of them revealed having intimacy issues really early on and usually those issues could be chalked up to both partners being somewhat bored with each other sexually? And by issues I mean they were either considering an open relationship within the first two years, or they found themselves being very attracted to other people, etc. When I talked to my friends about it they basically sai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 12:48 PM
60

A lot of people who told me their bf is their best friend ended up in romantic situations that I personally find unappealing. When you assign someone the role of “best friend,” in your mind they trump all of your other friends. You depend on them so much and build so many memories with them that you can’t imagine living without them. IMO this makes it 10x harder to break up with them even if the relationship has run it’s course. I know two women who got cheated on but kept saying “but he’s my be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 12:37 PM
13

Yeah when black men like him say stuff like that I wonder if they realize that black women are one of the most well educated groups in the country meaning as adults we really aren’t that likely to run in social circles where people are locked up or have multiple children out of wedlock in the first place. Im 25 and literally can’t even name someone with multiple baby mamas? I also don’t know anyone in jail. So ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 02:32 PM
29

Exactly. Everyone knows law school isn’t the “ticket” to success and employment it used to be—it actually is a dead end for a lot of folks these days. I’m sure this guy thinks black women are too stupid to know that and that we’re impressed by degrees no matter where they came from or what they’re for 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 10:50 AM
5

Yep This is the best advice. If I’m only casually seeing someone, I never tell them the real reason I’m rejecting them. After a few dates or less I don’t owe them the truth or an explanation. It takes way too much time and energy to figure out a polite way to phrase your dislikes and it also causes the interaction to take an unnecessarily personal turn. It’s easier to just have a neutral, go-to phrase like “I didn’t feel any chemistry.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 02:53 AM
22

Yet another reason why dating men is so freaking draining for woman. If a woman acts like this with a man, she’s likely just desperate and insecure. If a man acts like this, I have to assume that I could be in danger and act accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 01:56 PM
17

Oof I’ve had a lot of those. I’ve experienced all the points you mentioned especially the constant texting which can actually just feel like a chore if you’re not close with someone yet. Another trait I’ve noticed from guys like these is if the date doesn’t go well (lack of chemistry, mismatched values, a disagreement, whatever) they will ask you out again and will act as if everything went well. When that happens I assume the guy either can’t read social cues, is a people pleaser who thinks he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:53 AM
8

Never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:53 AM
20

“So that the mood isn’t killed..” Since you don’t want to have sex with these guys, Isn’t killing the mood the entire point? I’ve found that if you don’t squash the mood a lot of men will, unfortunately, keep trying. Look, if a guy likes you, you can’t destroy his interest in you by rejecting sex. You’re still the same woman that he found attractive five minutes ago. Just say “No. I’m not ready.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:51 PM
158

Yep. I also found that some men that I previously would’ve pegged as decent guys disappeared a lot faster because they quickly learned that I expect effort. It’s a blessing in disguise. The trash takes itself out and the men who weren’t really that into you in the first place and just wanted sex get bored fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:47 PM
236

Yep! one time my mom was visiting me and we were walking through the hallway to my apartment. She noticed a woman standing outside a door knocking and checking her phone. She called the person she was waiting for and he picked up, but she was still waiting for a while before he greeted her. He didn’t apologize for making her wait. My mom looked at me and said “if a man ever lets you wait outside his door like that, dump him.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 03:19 PM
138

Yes yes and yes. And this applies to all men regardless of status. most men have groupies. Remember, men overrate themselves. The majority of them think they’re better looking, smarter, and more of a catch than they actually are because society has consistently rewarded them for being average. Unfortunately, a bunch of women (pickmeishas) have also taken the bait and now believe men deserve to be rewarded for being average. I can’t count how many men I know who are just ok-looking and “nice” in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:32 PM
8

No I agree. IMO, posts like those shouldn’t even be approved and instead the OP should get a message to read the handbook and try again later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:33 AM
9

Spot on. It’s getting to the point where I’m really wondering if in response to posts like these we should agree as a sub to just refer them to the handbook instead of giving extensive advice. 50% of the time they defend their ZVM in the end anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:30 AM
3

That is not weird at all, it’s freaking genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 08:02 PM
18

I am so sorry you had to read these but whooo this just made my lunch break. XD He said he wants to keep his dignity? Oh sweaty that ship has sailed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:15 PM
37

The things you mentioned in the beginning, like him wanting to meet a lot, committing early, and telling you to leave things at his house within the first couple of months, can actually be signs of love bombing, which is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists. It sounds like he was trash before he met you, was trash while dating you, and is still trash now. You didn’t do anything sis, he’s just a bad person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 01:24 PM
9

Interesting b/c when someone says "at night" I think of any time after 5pm so i think OP needs to clarify
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:39 PM
26

Hate to break it to you, but I think that’s my boyfriend in the picture🍦 Haha congrats on getting out and good job!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:32 PM
14

Hit the nail on the head. This was my EXACT situation. It’s so incredibly emotionally draining and they will never let you out of their clutches if they can help it. The crazy thing is no matter how much emotional support you provide, they will still view you as disposable so you might as well leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 11:22 AM
105

Oof. Been there with an ex. It sounds harsh, but depressed men use women too. If he has even just one other person to talk to, I'd suggest pulling back. He's not acting like a "friend."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:33 PM
13

hope you blocked him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:30 PM
95

Yes. All of my exes that “came back” to me after a break up admitted (usually in subtle ways) that they continuously struck out with women after we broke up. Men have an abundance mindset, regardless of how unrealistic it is. But then after a breakup, reality usually hits them in the face and they realize they’re not as desirable as they thought they were. That’s when they come crawling back hoping to pick up where things left off. But after realizing they don’t have much to offer in the dating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 05:36 PM
6

Thank you I agree! She never saw the problem with it though. Pickmeishas will choose men’s pleasure over women’s safety every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:53 AM
9

Honestly thank you for validating this. We had so many issues because she didn’t see the problem with it. Someday I’m going to write a post about how women like her out other women in danger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:53 AM
15

To your first sentence: If you go to the original post and the update post the ruling was overwhelmingly “YTA.” And people are still to this second going in on him in the update and saying his wife should’ve never forgave him. So this is actually a rare time where FDS agrees with the majority of reddit XD I’m not saying you should form your opinion based on that, but I just don’t agree that the sub is somehow taking a radical stance on this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 11:29 PM
51

He says he has his entire life to be with the child but what about being there for his wife? Women also die in childbirth and she’d already lost multiple pregnancies and experienced a still birth which is incredibly traumatic. Can’t imagine the ptsd she had. She was probably an anxious mess going into this and her husband, the father who experienced no physical trauma and literally had nothing to do with creating the child other than a few pumps, couldn’t just be there to hold her hand?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:31 PM
122

Omg I had a pickmeisha roommate who would always invite tinder guys over to OUR apt where she would cook or bake for THEM as a first date. Then they would go into her room and chill. Like girl you’re just showing them that you’re cheap and easy and you’ve completely ruined any chance for creating mystery. She did this for a year and always wondered why she wasn’t making any connections/why guys didn’t want to stick around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 05:54 PM
68

They want to keep you as an option
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 01:57 PM
7

Thank you for this. The responses to that post were disgusting. The fact that people’s first response to reading that a woman’s life is in danger is to guilt trip her just shows that this sub has a lot of growing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:30 PM
42

Yes and I think that’s why they never delete them. I always say worst case scenario: they get leaked. “Best” case scenario? He just saves them and jacks off to them forever. It’s not because they have a special attachment to us or our bodies, they’re getting off on the power exchange and the fact that they have access to something a lot of other guys don’t. I also think that after the relationship, they get off on knowing they have access to your naked body forever, even though they shouldn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:47 AM
2

The sad thing is it’s really not your fault. We’re socialized to seek validation from men and put their opinions first. You’ve made a lot of progress and you’ll get there eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:40 AM
36

Mmmmm and at the same time a lot of people stay married because it’s easier than getting divorced especially once you have kids. A lot of my friends have parents that are in unhappy marriages and they suffer because of that too. Marriage can be complex so I’m not going to rule out someone because of something that their parents chose that was also out of their control. It’s about how they handle it and move forward. But also we don’t have to agree on this and that’s ok too. Edit: in response to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:24 AM
214

I like most of these! But I’m gonna veto the divorce thing. Divorce rates are skyrocketing for good reason. Women are realizing they don’t need men. If his parents are divorced, that could also just mean he has a dope ass mom who realized her worth and raised her son to be better than his father. Alsoooo both of my parents have been married and divorced to other people three times and I’m not undatable because of that. It’s not like it was my choice lmao. I also would look like an ass ruling out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:09 AM
3

As someone that’s been there in the past I can say that your biggest problem is that you’re still letting male validation (or lack thereof) dictate your self confidence. You need to get to a point where you can watch men fall all over women like Butter and think nothing of it at all. The first step to reaching that point for me was truly internalizing one fact about dating and attraction: People like what they like and there’s no changing that. For whatever reason, Butter is this guy’s type and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:03 AM
18

This is so real. Location changes everything. I have accepted for a fact that I will not find someone I want to settle down with in the city I’m in now. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It’s a preppy, busy city where people take A LOT of pride in what they do for work. The beauty standard here is also skewed to kind of preppy and white and I’m a black woman with a sporty sense of style. It’s rare that men approach me here at all and it’s even more rare for me to meet someone who’s my type (well-educated, POC, artsy, outdo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:23 AM
124

I literally had to tell an ex bf to fuck all the way off because he always turned to the same sob story about his dad being a little emotionally distant growing up (which, while I understand these things are subjective, really wasn’t all that bad) to explain why he was completely incapable of being attentive or emotionally supportive or appreciative toward literally anyone in his life at 24 years old. Meanwhile I’d experienced significantly more trauma (my dad was abusive everyday of my life and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:04 AM
14

Yeah. Honestly a guy can like a woman and just be selfish. Most men are socialized to put themselves first. However it really doesn’t matter why he’s doing that. It’s a red flag either way. I dated a selfish LVM before and he was just incapable of caring deeply about things that didn’t have anything to do with him. His close guy friends and his parents had the same complaint about him. It really wasn’t about how much he loved the person rather that he was just self-centered through and through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:17 PM
19

It can be iffy with close female friends as well. Honesty, unless a person is well adjusted and/or has experienced similar trauma I’ve found that they will, sometimes unintentionally, use the knowledge to gaslight you a bit later on, because they’ll struggle to view you as a person separate from that trauma. For instance I would say 50% of the people I talked to about my abusive dad said “oh is this why you get extra upset when people violate people’s physical boundaries?” Or “oh that explains w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:11 PM
4

I agree with this take the most. For instance, my father was abusive my entire life and I genuinely think he’s insane. He’s still my friend and has improved so much, but his behavior can be so bad that I really don’t want him to spend any time alone with a future partner or children if I end up having them. I don’t plan to talk about my father or discuss these things at all with a partner until it reaches the point that my partner practically HAS to be in the same room with him. I’m not going to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:06 PM
12

Closure is a myth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:37 AM
54

I’m getting...so much joy out of this. FINISH HIM. I’ve caused multiple men to implode after they state an opinion as a fact and I simply say “oh. I really don’t agree with that at all, but that’s ok.” Honestly the look on their faces after I say I don’t agree with them is my kink now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:35 AM
10

Yep. I don’t even smile when I talk to men anymore because to them a smile is a green light. Honestly, I’ve even had men that weren’t interested in me assume I was into them because I was being polite or smiled when we talked. Then they treat you differently forever because in the back of their minds they’re thinking “I could bang her if I wanted.” Honestly the reality is most men don’t even know how to talk to women unless they’re flirting with them so they assume that’s what we’re doing with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:21 PM
4

Yeah I’m not in contact with any of my exes and I find that’s rare sometimes. I don’t really feel that I have any use for them anymore? What we had was a sexual and romantic connection and now that that’s off the table I don’t feel that I need a casual guy friend hanging around when female friends are always superior. People who are close with their exes are pretty much always bad news. They’re either keeping them close because they want another chance with them or it’s a manipulation tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:33 PM
10

Honestly I agree. A back and forth relationship I had with one partner kind of proves your point. I dated this guy in college who dumped me without any notice once we weren’t in the same state anymore. He didn’t seem upset about it at all. I don’t even think he missed me. We would talk on the phone and I would be holding back tears and he would sound confused as to why I was so upset. He was a cute frat boy in college who always had options, so I think he dumped me after moving back home assumin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 11:00 PM
305

It’s actually kinda common for it to start this way. I dated a guy who asked to open things up a few months in. I immediately knew there had to be someone else specific he had in mind but he swore up and down that I was the only person that he was interested. I refused to open things up. Two days later he ended things so he could start seeing another woman. 100% sure he’d had his eye on her the entire time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 11:18 PM
30

Honestly the most empowering aspect of my level up journey is having men eliminate themselves from the running because I “have my shit together” or “seem difficult to please.” It is a little discouraging at first when you realize the majority of men don’t gaf about you unless they think they have a shot with you, but they’re literally doing the vetting for you sis. Let’s celebrate THAT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:33 PM
11

I just had a conversation about this with my mom the other day. She’s a therapist and she obviously didn’t give me any details but told me that she’s so saddened that so many of her young female clients are really torn up and depressed about being single. The reality is we are socialized from a very young age to expect to end up in a relationship. Almost every movie for young girls either centers around romance or has a relationship as a sort of prize in the end. I remember as a kid that I watch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:31 PM
6

Oh snap I forgot that this is all happening during the pandemic. She should’ve blocked him right away!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:07 PM
9

Girl, ghost his ass! You should have ghosted him when he asked you to spend the day in a house with him alone as a second date, but you definitely should’ve ghosted him after, when you were nice enough to offer to bake, he had the audacity to tell you to bake something else. You missed a lot of red flags. I think you should read the handbook again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:05 PM
16

Amen. I don’t even entertain conversation with conservative men let alone anything more then that. I have left-leaning friends who don’t rule out dating conservatives because they think it’s “ok to have different opinions.” Like girl, the way they vote literally proves that they don’t respect or see women, POCs, immigrants, and lgbtq people as equals. Why do you think you will be any different? The women I know who dated republicans had major issues with them down the line that could be chalked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 12:54 PM
8

In a previous relationship i would sometimes make a comment about thinking a woman was really beautiful or attractive but it was usually a celebrity or someone we both knew very well. My bf would never initiate the comments but would sometimes follow up with a “yeah sure!” Or “yeah a lot of guys liked her. She’s great.” I knew the implication was that he also found that person attractive at one point, but he never ever said it outright. On the flip side, I tried to do the same thing. He pointed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 02:11 AM
7

As if newborn babies remember shit in the first place !! It’s practically a potato, my god. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 10:06 PM
8

Yeah this is not the sub for this. Low value behavior on both sides
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 04:12 PM
9

Judging by your comments it really doesn’t seem like you understand that. We’re all simply trying to help you out and bring a new perspective to the table.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:34 PM
4

Honestly it sounds like you engaged in way too much conversation with him and I don’t really understand why/what you were supposedly getting out of it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:24 PM
10

Think about it this way: if he can get a date with you, a model, what makes you think he doesn’t have access to other beautiful women? I’m a cute girl and I used to go after the unassuming, nerdy types thinking they would be intimidated by me and feel lucky to date me. The reality always was that if I found a guy attractive and kind enough to date, there were always at least three other hotter women who thought the same thing. They always enjoyed the attention but ended up with the woman they re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:18 PM
14

The key words here are “consistently posting” and “agonizing over.” If you’re not doing those things then the comment doesn’t apply to you. However, I think the current state of this sub does prove that all of us have work to do 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 03:49 PM
68

I agree. I feel like the number of posts just further prove that the majority of us haven’t leveled up yet. An empowered HVW doesn’t spend any time agonizing over and dissecting the behavior of LVM—or any man for that matter—she turns that attention to herself. HVW dont go looking for reasons to be upset by LVM because they DONT CARE ABOUT LVM or what they think about her. If you’re consistently posting about them, you care too much about what they think, in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:29 PM
26

I was going to comment this. It sounds like he’s just not over the breakup yet but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to understand what he’s feeling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:24 AM
56

Exactly! The slapping thing is silly, but the most mind blowing part of this for me was that she was essentially just masturbating and said that was the best sex of her life...? 🙁 Also he’s NEVER made her come from clit stimulation during penetrative sex at all during their entire marriage?? What the actual fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:24 PM
6

I see two common patterns: 1) Women are practically doomed to having low standards if they grow up around shitty or abusive men. My dad was extremely emotionally and sometimes physically abusive growing up. My mom always reminded me that it wasn’t ok and that i deserved better and I did internalize that but the sad thing is, a lot of things can be considered “better” than a blatantly abusive man. As a result, the bar for any man I dated was practically in hell because as long as he wasn’t callin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:42 PM
292

Hey, just want to reassure you that being a pickmeisha is not why you were raped. That was not your fault, it was the rapist’s fault—period. They’re a terrible fucking person who did something awful to you, please remember that. I’m so happy you found love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:35 PM
2

Honestly I think every woman should take about a year where they don’t date at all, because that’s how long it takes some people to realize that companionship is optional and also not guaranteed. We all might end up single and the point is that that’s not necessarily any better or worse than ending up with a companion. Most people I know who act desperate and put up with crap from men do so because they think they NEED a boyfriend to be happy. They don’t realize that the lonely feeling you get a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 12:55 PM
18

Exactly. In most towns there are places that are better/nicer than Applebee’s that cost about the same. It’s not even just about it being cheap, it’d just a shitty place to eat in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 02:25 PM
5

I just feel like this is not the point of this sub. I’m growing tired of seeing posts like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 01:59 PM
6

Why did you reach out to him? Sorry, but it seems like you were looking for attention, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 12:45 PM
130

Women are notorious for falling in love with potential. Look at who he is right now and know that THAT is the person you’re considering spending your life with, not a nonexistent, superior version of that man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 08:00 PM
6

Honestly I’m shocked by some of those posts because I’m 26 and no man has EVER asked me that— EVER. If someone asks you your body count, it’s not normal. THEY are not normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:38 PM
3

As someone who doesn’t like texting, I would still say most days. I have a job where I’m constantly on deadline and then I have a second job that keeps me out of the house until 11pm some weekdays so I genuinely don’t look at my phone much and can take days to respond to messages that aren’t pressing. However, I think a guy texting you most days of the week shows his interest and that he’s thinking of you so I let them do it and just respond when I can, which means HE might not be hearing from M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:36 PM
23

To your first point: Weeks ago I started a new book and started carrying it with me everywhere. I even treated myself to drinks and dinners so I could read alone. In one day I got approached 3 times. Twice at a restaurant and once at the store. All of them used my book as an excuse to talk. I hadn’t even put effort into my appearance that day. I don’t get approached that much anymore, but when I think back to it, the majority of times that I got hit on it was when I was reading a book or doing w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:59 PM
14

Look at it this way: I dated a guy who took a hit of weed to fall asleep most nights. The reality is he was really depressed and had severe anxiety, both of which were uncontrolled. He needed weed to sleep because otherwise he would be an insomniac. The weed itself caused very few issues in our relationship, but fallouts due to his depression and paranoia did contribute to our breakup. The smoking was just a symptom of those issues. A lot of people who do drugs or drink to excess regularly (week…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:48 PM
5

Unfortunately not nationally. Mayor just ordered closures where I’m at ( DC area) on Monday. Over the weekend, one bar here was PACKED and had a line around the street. They had a coronavirus-themed party, believe it or not!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:12 PM
66

Honestly, a lot of people are showing their asses during this pandemic. I’m taking note of all the people , friends, dates, or otherwise, that are selfishly continuing to gather in large groups and go out to bars. I’m also taking note of the people who are not willing to sacrifice right now for the health of high risk groups. The folks who are whining and complaining about gyms and restaurants being closed, claiming they’re only contributing to “mass hysteria” are not people I want to be around.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:14 PM
9

Thank you. I wonder the percentage of posts that are about LVM. This sub isn’t supposed to be centered around LVM, it’s supposed to be about HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 12:12 PM
16

Yes! You did THAT. Also I just call bullshit on the whole thing! I’m sure he likes one of you more than the other at this point, he just didn’t want to choose. Low value. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 02:25 PM
45

No. I don’t see the point if I’m not enjoying it. Finding a partner isn’t a critical matter so why would I force myself to do it? I sometimes have to force myself to get up and go to work and sometimes force myself to go to the gym even when I’d rather stay in and watch Netflix. But working out provides lifelong health benefits and going to work puts food in the table. Dating is only beneficial if you’re happy with yourself and having a good fucking time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 04:57 PM
3

A few ways: 1) by recognizing that it’s a part of life and you will get over it; 2) focusing on other things; and 3) truly believing, but just acknowledging, but BELIEVING that the relationship was not meant to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:56 PM
10

“Looking for someone to have intellectual conversations with.” Intellectual conversations about....what? Men who use that line usually a) have a complex about their intelligence or education, b) are really just looking to debate so they can convince themselves they’re intellectually superior, and/or c) just want to talk at you about something they remember from philosophy class sophomore year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:53 PM
4

Question: how are you “dependent” on him for sex if he doesn’t satisfy you physically? What is the real reason you’re still sleeping with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:08 PM
7

Yeah Africa is an entire continent so I’m not even sure what being into “African culture” means...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:51 PM
29

Your friend is awesome. It's true. Men know right away if they can see themselves marrying someone, which is why it's sketchy as hell when they don't bring up serious commitment within a year. Hell, the 6 month mark is when men tend to start showing they're really serious. It actually upsets me when people tell women to run when a man mentions he sees a future with her within a year. A lot of people say it's too soon, but the reality is that the woman does not, and should not, have to feel the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 06:18 PM
4

Yes. I have a friend who used to tell me in college that she was convinced most men don't get married because they're in love, but because they realize they want the security of a relationship and are simply finished playing the field A lot of women on the other hand date/marry to fall in love. At first i was confused by it, but now it makes so much sense. Men settle down when and b/c they're ready! It is rarely because the woman he's with is his ideal, it's just because they look up one day and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:21 PM
13

RIP Rob
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 03:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter