Saw this while swiping through IG, thought you ladies would appreciate this; especially my fellow younger ladies who feel pressure to date LVM rather than stay single and level up.

academinx · 2020-04-15T06:10:59+00:00

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jimmbie · 2020-04-15T03:13:36+00:00

I remember feeling embarrassed for not having my first kiss until i was ~15 or so.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-04-15T07:15:25+00:00

I’m 27 and still feel like this sometimes... thanks for posting

jmaydizzle · 2020-04-15T13:22:45+00:00

I turned 28 on the weekend and my mum said ‘happy birthday... 28 and still on the shelf’

And I said

‘Yeah and what? I LIKE it up here’

Fuck the haters, don’t compromise

ny-lady · 2020-04-15T13:29:07+00:00

Really this is for everyone, so much brain washing that you cant have a good life without a partner or kids.

Im glad I never followed the brain washing, I rebelled it! I was just always working, doing things, had my friends/family, etc so I was never bothered by I dont have a BF. Anyone I dated popped into my life and didnt chase it, it happened living life.

Divorce was at an all time high when I was a teen, I just knew...

Meccha_me_2 · 2020-04-15T14:31:34+00:00

I just had a conversation about this with my mom the other day. She’s a therapist and she obviously didn’t give me any details but told me that she’s so saddened that so many of her young female clients are really torn up and depressed about being single.

The reality is we are socialized from a very young age to expect to end up in a relationship. Almost every movie for young girls either centers around romance or has a relationship as a sort of prize in the end.

I remember as a kid that I watched one movie where the young girl didn’t end up with a boyfriend and I thought “then what was the point??”

It’s truly engrained in us from the beginning that we will get married eventually (whether at 21, 36 or 47) and it’s something we all have to unlearn or we will settle for less.

Kalypso989 · 2020-04-15T03:33:27+00:00

As a 30 year old going on 6 years single, this has been super rough for me. Most of my friends have gotten married or are in relationships these last several years and it's really made me feel like I'm further and further behind. I feel hat I don't fit in and can't share relationship stories with my friends or look forward to commitment. It's hella fucking depressing. I often fantasize about moving out west to a new city and starting over. Maybe my luck will change. Thank you for posting this. I needed the wake up call again.

academinx · 2020-04-15T10:57:20+00:00

I am 26 and have still never been a relationship or had a boyfriend. I've dated plenty, but never any one guy for more than a month. If I hadn't been sexually assaulted last year, I would still be a virgin. I used to lay in bed at night and cry, terrified that I would die alone, that there was something wrong with me. I would see other women around town with their LVM and think settling was just what people do and my expectations were too high.

I thought it was me for the longest time. It's wasn't until after the assault that I realized the problem was not me. When I meet new people, they're usually stunned when I tell them I'm single, since I hold myself to a very high standard. I have invested a lot of time, energy, and money into myself to meet this standard, and I intend to invest even more going forward. I simply refuse to be with someone who won't do the same.

venomoth91 · 2020-04-15T17:24:59+00:00

I never dated or got asked to dances in high school, I had two very good serious relationships in college (for 9 months and two years respectively), and then I stayed single for the next five years, from age 22-27. Part of that was because I was busy with work and had super high standards, but I also got super jealous from seeing my friends and other girls on social media get into what looked like cute relationships. People would constantly be shocked that I’d been single for so long because I’m conventionally beautiful with a good career, college degree, and friendly personality.

I developed terrible self-esteem and became convinced that I was unlovable and men only wanted me for sex or casual short-term flings that would end after 1-2 months with no label, while simultaneously rejecting unattractive guys and obvious LVM. Then I met my ex last year who seemed like a HVM on paper and was eager to commit to me after a month, only to become emotionally abusive and very critical of me soon after. I was so excited just to be in a relationship with someone who was attractive and successful that I ignored a lot of red flags. I desperately latched onto him and seeked his approval because I had a severe lack mindset from having been single for so long before meeting him. I wanted the relationship to work so bad, just so I could prove to myself and others that I could to do it. He dumped me after only six months by writing me a two-page letter describing all the things he thought were “wrong” with me and kicking me out of our shared apartment that I’d moved into just 48 hours prior. They were mostly tiny random details because he loved to nitpick at me, but he called me stupid and inconsiderate for not noticing them. It took me until February/March of this year to recover and that happened in September. And it was only a six-month relationship! I still get sick to my stomach when I think about it.

So yeah, don’t be like me. It’s OK to be single, even for five or more years! It does not mean something is “wrong” with you or that you’re “ugly” or anything like that. You don’t need validation from men to confirm that you’re worthy and special. But I’m grateful I learned my lesson the hard way and I wasn’t with my ex for longer. My standards are much higher now and I’m re-learning that it’s OK to be myself. FDS, among other things, has helped me a lot.

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