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Mental_Antelope_7202 Archive

View 1 posts and 226 comments by Mental_Antelope_7202 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Mental_Antelope_7202/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:23 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Sorry to tell you this. But she already cheating on you. Women don’t let go of their man unless they found a replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:17 AM
10

Don’t worry about her. Worry about what’s yours.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 11:55 PM
2

Ok give her the money, be nice, have her hurt you a few more times… problem solved
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:08 AM
1

If you’re not looking for anything serious then go for it. But if you are chances are she’ll get to the point where she will cheat on you too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 09:08 AM
2

Yea… don’t stop building. That’s why God gave us strength. I wish my children were adults. I would definitely leave. Don’t miss out on your next opportunity worrying about the past.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 03:00 PM
9

If you build it they will come.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 09:57 AM
4

In my opinion women get bored with marriage and want to experience newer and better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 08:30 PM
3

They love the self pity shenanigans. We always end up believing them. That’s why I just stay away. And keep conversations limited.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 11:14 PM
3

Should’ve dug deep. That’s the only way to know the truth. And will make it easier letting. Post divorce… I’ve looked back at many red flags that I let slide. Just for the sake of staying together. Go find someone that’s right for you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 07:52 PM
1

What happened to your pledge to her? The one where you committed “to standing by her in hopes of us getting through it”.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:14 PM
12

Stick to your guns.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:58 PM
6

One thing that I messed up with when I got married is my ex wife and I never discussed plans for our future. As a result, she did her thing and I did mines. And even though I had a vision, we never spoke about it to gain clarity and focus. This sounds like the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 03:10 AM
1

I just sent the process server to serve her. She was upset. I didn’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 06:18 PM
24

She’s trying to keep you as the husband while being able to go out, behave single and date. What you two are doing will only hurt you in the end because you are trying to be the nice guy… the stand up guy… And she will take advantage of you. Be petty. Draw your boundaries. And make sure she respects them. Protect your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 02:20 AM
1

I did say “horny and…”
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 09:12 AM
2

Women are hypergamous. If the new guy isn’t doing better than her or the ex husband then she’s going to feel like she took a step back.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 02:07 AM
8

She probably horny and can’t get none. You the easiest thing. And it won’t add to her stats.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 12:55 AM
1

You trying to go to jail? You’re stuck my boy. Just try to make the best situation for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:31 PM
3

As husbands we take privilege in our duty to the point we embody what it means to be one. So no longer being a husband or custodial parent can really cause damage to how you view your self worth. We are people outside of being a father and a husband, and you have to tap in to what life is for you as an individual.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 01:47 PM
1

Play the game to change the game.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 12:04 PM
4

Time my friend. Time. I said it in another post. You’re going to have to experience the worst pain in your life that it breaks you to your core. But it will also reshape you. And you will be a better MAN because of it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 03:43 AM
3

She is wants to be back in the town but keep you at the same time. So you have to draw a line when she still tries to get the husband out of you. Just tell her no just for no reason.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 11:48 PM
3

It only makes sense for a son to be with his father during his early adult years. Women will give up custody if it benefits them. You have to figure out how to explain to her the benefits of your son living with you… qnd you might have to sprinkle in some incentives.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 12:34 AM
1

Nah you right
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 11:42 AM
-1

In the great words of Jay Z… “I ain’t perfect. Nobody walking the earth’s surface is. But girlfriend work with the kid.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 02:54 AM
2

Instead of viewing it as a red flag, ask her how does handle it. Ask her how has she worked on it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 02:52 AM
1

Making a big deal about being blocked on social media is childish. I’m glad she left.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:17 AM
3

Dating after a marriage is going to be hard because you are dating older women who probably have also been through a divorce or some type of emotional trauma with their children’s father. My advice would be to continue working on your betterment… and you will naturally meet someone that really likes you. Relationships are built through time. I believe dating apps are counterproductive.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:16 PM
5

I do… every year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:16 PM
7

Let’s be honest. Married life is boring. Women vision married life like a Cinderella lifestyle. But when she nears 40, the anxiety kicks in. She starts adding up what’s missing. Because most women are treated like princesses when they are children, they grow up believing they should be living like queens in adulthood. A regular basic lifestyle to them is absurd. It’s part of the game playa. Don’t worry she’ll come back to you when the streets are done.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 08:08 PM
1

When women check out it’s because they’ve found your replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 02:15 AM
3

it's a natural feeling. Here's how it's going to go. You're going to do something nice for her, and it's going to blow up in your face. This is part of getting over her. You keep trying to be Mr. Nice Guy, and she keep taking advantage. Until you've had it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 10:47 PM
7

Right now... you need your heart broken. you need to need to be broken down to dust. you still have love for her, and it is naturally so after a break up. but the only way to get past her is to see how much fun she is having without you. You have to experience that pain to kill all hope of reconciliation. Once the hope dies... once the dream dies... once the love dies... then you rise. The only way out of that dark place you are in is to embrace it. Don't run from it. Don't fight it. Experience …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 10:03 PM
8

doesn't sound like this is an isolated incident if your first move was to call the cops. if you have to call the cops on your wife, it's time to figure out custody and living arrangements.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 09:54 PM
1

You lost her. Time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 05:32 AM
2

Everything is of value
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 01:42 PM
3

The road is rough and rugged but once you reach the top… only heaven is right above it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 12:34 AM
18

Here’s the thing… she told whoever she was dealing with that you know about him. So he’s worried that you might bring it to his house and his girlfriend or wife might find out. And he probably told her that he doesn’t want to ruin his family. And that’s the reason she is coming back to you. You have to do whatever you can live with doing. Once a woman tells you she doesn’t want to be with you, why stay?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 06:31 PM
1

To keep a relationship or marriage going, both of you need to want the same thing. If she filed…. That means she checked out also she found somebody else. No woman is going to divorce her husband unless she has a replacement or potential replacement. This is why she wants the 80/20, so she can get your money, continue the same lifestyle but without you. The signs are there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 10:14 AM
1

She want you to pay for her lifestyle. She want you out but your money to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:30 AM
1

In that case the court will force a sale.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:54 PM
2

If she lets you keep your assets… Let her have the house. Get an apartment. And in the divorce settlement make sure there’s a deadline to refinance you out of the mortgage. You know you’re at the top… and only Heaven’s right above it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:53 PM
21

Why offer anything? Don’t offer anything. Pay as little as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 01:26 PM
2

I have a job where I’m fortunate to work ot. And I have a strict budget.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 12:40 AM
5

If you like her then go out with her. Have a good time. You are overthinking and putting the cart before the carriage. Once you two start dating then you can have conversations to address your concerns, and I’m sure she has hers as well. If she willing to date you and you broke she just really like you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:19 AM
10

The only way to get over it is to put to bed the man you have been your whole life, and become the man you need to be. I learned this world is unkind and unforgiving. You must become the person to battle this world. You must become all the things you tried all your life not to be. Only then will you be ready.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:07 AM
9

If you are divorcing then I wouldn’t bother. You are only opening yourself up to more pain. Just go through with the divorce. Hit rock bottom… then rebuild yourself into the man she prevented you from becoming.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 07:57 PM
3

She's using you at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 03:35 AM
3

How old are your children? If you have young children I would lean closer to trying to fix it. If you have older children 17+ I would lean closer to divorcing. The obligation of child support is a real pain in the a… I whole heartedly believe if you bring it up to her she is going to lie and deny. But I also believe their dreams of one day being together is all talk. In reality it’s easier said than done. Men and women both experience thoughts of another person or flirting. It’s not uncommon. I …
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 03:22 PM
20

I believe 8 out of 10 women are in an emotional side relationship at the very least… or have been in one. Women love attention.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:00 PM
3

I wouldn’t bought 1000 shares of nvidia in 2013
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 02:06 AM
1

Why hasn’t the lawyers come to an agreed upon visitation schedule while the divorce is in progress?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:40 PM
1

It’s harder to date as you get older as both men and women become stuck in their ways. I would focus on myself. Bouncing back from the divorce. Home. Car. Increasing my salary. Investing. Saving. You’re still young enough to take time off to get yourself right, and still find a good woman with no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 01:33 AM
1

I think you should ask women who have been in your shoes and have figured out how to successfully date again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:17 PM
3

When my kids leave I get like a few seconds of relief then I miss them.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:33 PM
1

If it's amicable, perhaps, through a mediator, you can agree in writing what you keep and what she keeps.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 05:42 PM
7

You should block her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:20 AM
5

You can’t force people to be who you want them to be. Accept them for who they are. Accept their strengths and weaknesses. Stay off social media.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:50 PM
1

Sometimes you have to embrace that anger. https://tenor.com/bT0Gl.gif
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:40 PM
5

Why did she want a divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:35 PM
1

If she is behaving like she no longer wants to be your wife, your best bet is to get a lawyer asap, and file an order to stop everything.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:05 AM
10

She wants to experience her new look life as a single woman. Dont blame yourself. Once she lost the weight, she became a different person. There was nothing you could do to compete with the attention she began receiving. You got no kids. I say get out of there while you're still young. And you want to get out of there before reality hits her. Remember when you are in a relationship, you should be the first choice.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 03:23 AM
5

When you get back out there, try to find someone who likes you more than you like her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 03:59 AM
4

Women either want one of two things: 1) excitement or 2) stability. You caught her on her stability swing. The swing is now heading back in the other direction... and she is yearning to indulge in the unknown. The hero must now become the villain. Stay dangerous.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 03:54 AM
3

Here’s what I learned… women either get married for clout or for stability. It’s either they want to experience the glitz and glam of a wedding or they found a man that treats them better than any one before. Happily married couples are the ones that know ain’t nothing else out there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:09 AM
6

I truly believe without some professional help either through a counselor or pastor, it will never work. It only works if both of you believe in one another and believe in achieving a higher purpose together. You have to ask/answer the question “what are we here for?” If your answers aren’t the same then you should know.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 07:03 PM
4

Parties are a mask for insecurity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 06:58 PM
2

The first lawyer told me the same thing. It’s a possibility. I would say, if you move out, continue to do your portion financially, which is also what I did. I continued to pay mortgage and utilities and visit the children until the judgement was final.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:34 AM
6

The first lawyer I spoke to advised me not to move out but I did. I couldn’t take living there. It still worked out for me in the end. She didn’t really put up a fight. So I got everything reasonable I asked for. They never made it a big deal that I moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 06:45 PM
-2

Through life… especially the first 40 years, we are going to experience more bad times than good times. The only thing life guarantees is pain. Life is hard. Life is stressful. There’s nothing we can do to avoid that. There’s always going to be unhappiness, complaints, let downs, etc. It’s our job to create a piece of happiness for ourselves and our family. I’m sure when you married her, she was the same way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:15 PM
3

Giving a woman time apart is just given her time to ger with another man or men, and be even more confused.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 07:54 PM
-5

Those are not reasons to divorce in my opinion. People change… feelings change… love changes. Then they change again. If you can’t get over the divorce, then by all means you have to seek out your own place comfort and peace.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:30 PM
-3

Except for the betrayal is there any real reason to divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:44 PM
2

You f ‘d up. Take your lumps and move on. Don’t let her hang it over you. My ex wife blames me all the time. Don’t let it bother you. Just everyday moving forward try to be a better man than the day before. And be patient. The papers will come.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:58 AM
2

I’m guessing she’s the defendant. I really like the mortgage protection clause. I should’ve added that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:45 AM
1

OK here’s what you are not understanding. Mom is trying to keep the house, have 50/50 custody, child support… and asking him to support her while she stays there and he moves out. Mom is trying to get it all. On top of that she is threatening to claim cruelty and emotional abuse against him. She clearly is going for it all. This is why I’m championing men. He has to do what’s best for him. That house is good as gone whether he stays there or mother stays there. In a year, it’ll be sold. And gues…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 04:07 PM
1

And my response to the OP was keeping the kids in their school district shouldn’t be a top concern when you are trying to sort out your own life and living situation… if he found a better job opportunity somewhere else, the children would have to relocate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 03:01 AM
1

Let’s say the OP got a better opportunity out of state for twice the money, he should just stay where he is?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:46 AM
7

Think about yourself first and your survival before you think about anyone else, including your children. Children adjust to new schools regularly. So that shouldn’t be a top concern unless the school is top rated. Do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 08:02 PM
5

Whenever you miss your wife just think of all the things she used to do to you to make you smile, and then think about who she is doing it to now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 07:48 PM
5

Outside of religion/custom, I don’t believe there is anything you can do to avoid divorce. I believe once you get married start preparing for divorce. Men and women live in two different realities.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:40 PM
1

Every time I got a new phone I probably lost 1000 pictures. It’s really not that serious.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:23 PM
-1

I think it’s unfair to have exclusive rights to the house to himself while he hasn’t paid her the money he owes. He can’t have both in my opinion. If he wants exclusive rights to the home, give her the money she is owed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 01:40 AM
-1

He doesn’t have to pay bills in a home he doesn’t live in. Neither of them do. Don’t understand what you are talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:15 AM
1

He has to consider what is his plan to pay her the money.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 10:18 PM
-1

I don’t understand why she would pay bills in a home she is no longer living in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 10:00 PM
0

Then give her her money so she can go find a place to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:09 PM
1

I think men usually feel this way when they 1) have low self esteem or 2) reside in an area that doesn’t promote social interaction.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:19 PM
-3

I would allow her to have access to the home or even live in the home until I bought her out. I think it’s fair. Until you buy her out, it’s still both of y’all’s. Once you pay her then you can set limits. In my case, I gave my wife till 2029 to buy me out. And she is happier because she doesn’t have to stress about taking out a loan or refinancing, she has a place to stay, the children have consistency, and I get to come by whenever I want to see the children.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:05 PM
16

Sounds like you love being miserable and unhappy. Stay with her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:41 AM
1

A lot of attorneys in the same area know each other and know the judges very well... especially if he/she has been doing it 15+ years. I can't remember how i found my attorney. Probably a google search... read reviews... and called. Think I was just feeling desperate. One thing about him, he was fair... and my ex wife's attorney was accepting of everything we asked for. I think my attorney was a bit more seasoned that hers though. I came out pretty good.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:18 AM
3

Two things: do you have any children with her? and do you both own the home? If yes to both, I probably would stay just for the stability of the children. But if she is threatening you with a divorce, give her one, just speak to an attorney first just to see what the implications might be. I would hate for you and your children to lose your home. Don't let her control the situation. You control it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:58 AM
1

Did you buy the house before or after you got married?
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:48 AM
2

I will say this from what i learned in life. The only thing guaranteed is pain, sadness, and suffering. Happiness, joy, love… and all the feelings we seek are temporary. They have to be intentionally worked on constantly and consistently to achieve and maintain. So what you are looking for is partly up to you and partly up to her. So whether it’s with her or someone else, you’re still going to have to actively have to work at it as you would any job. If you don’t want to be with her that’s your …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 07:28 PM
3

If she is actively participating in the therapy, I probably would stick in there. Rebuilding is always going to be harder. If she is not, then that’s a sign she is on to something else.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 12:59 PM
1

You just said you did everything you could to make her life miserable. Sounds like you were pretty good at it. You might’ve been making her life miserable all the while and had no idea. Taking pride in making someone’s life miserable is evil.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 12:50 PM
1

Women for the most part are selfish and self- centered. While husbands become selfless. We put ourselves last. Time to put yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:45 PM
1

You still love her. It’s obvious. Men love unconditionally. Through the good times and bad times. Women love with conditions. She’s not coming back because of you. She’s coming back for what she can get from you. My ex wife tried the same thing when it didn’t work out with her other relationships. And if you re-open yourself up to that, you can’t expect different results.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 02:37 PM
1

She tried to put you in jail as a SO, and you’re considering dating her again?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 12:15 PM
5

Just a question… how does she pay for her wants and needs?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:46 AM
1

It’s fresh. And soon that pain will become hate. Unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:32 AM
2

a year before my divorce, it was already heading downhill. I would go back to before I got married. And told myself… what you see now is what it’s always going to be. Then I would ask myself if could I live with that for the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:29 AM
4

Yes her mom’s past decisions will have a major impact on her current decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:26 AM
10

Divorce to me was like removing the rose colored lenses. Now I’m all about myself… and my children. And I’m better man because of it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 10:03 PM
5

That feeling is common. But we’re natural builders. So don’t stop building. One brick at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 11:56 AM
5

Adult men and women cannot be best friends without sexual attraction. How’s he going to explain this to the woman he’s dating?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 05:14 PM
12

You sir are now in the villain stage of your recovery. Hurt… misunderstood… angry… unleashing your fury whenever you feel threatened. Your eyes are now open to the true evils of the world you never believed existed. You must now rise up. And become the man you were destined to be.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:53 PM
4

This is the most important time in your bounce back. It’s going to be your most difficult time as well but you have to find a way. You are the most important person now. Focus on your rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 03:07 PM
5

Just go back home. It’s yours.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 10:56 PM
4

“Just a minor set back… still on we living… just dream about the get back.”
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 01:23 AM
5

I believe that’s generally the cycle
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 01:35 AM
5

blame yourself if you keep falling for her tricks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 12:51 AM
1

It's your duty to be great.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 12:49 AM
3

You're feelings are not uncommon. But this is your opportunity to heal, and come back twice as good. Don't spend too much time feeling bad for yourself. Time to get up.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 12:52 AM
2

Take the $250K. I rather have that money in hand than in a house. Why decide to buy a house with you only having the children 50% of the time? A house to me is for when you have a family. Not sure where you live but see if you can rent a three bedroom instead. Less maintenance. Less commitment. The children will be adults soon, and you may decide to downgrade.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 11:27 PM
1

You live before you have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:37 AM
2

A no good reason is a no good reason… man or woman. I’m not going to support a no good reason from a man just because women do it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 03:30 PM
1

She's about to hit 40. She's dealing with what I call a mid life crisis... where women nearing 40 believe they should be doing much better than they are. If she was into social media, she was being hypnotized everyday by all the stuff she saw women doing. First, she just wanted her freedom, but then freedom got hard. So now she wants the freedom and the money. When that doesn't become enough, she's going to want something else from you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 03:26 PM
1

In a perfect world, she would be sober for the rest of your lives. Unfortunately she relapsed. You should be there for her. It sounds like you are making her problem, your problem. And since you stopped drinking, she should be able to stop also. The help you have been providing her is never ending, just as her struggle to maintain is never ending. Don't lose hope.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 03:12 PM
2

If she is heavy into social media... all she is thinking about right now is being single and how great her life is going to be without you. She's going to hit the streets running. That's going to last 2 to 3 years till she figures out the streets are dangerous. During these 2 to 3 years, you just be the best man/father you can be to her. When the streets let her go, you be there to grab her hand. Then you'll have her back.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:52 PM
1

It sounds like whether you get divorced or not you'll still be on the hook for her and the child. You have to pick your peace... would divorce work better for you or staying work better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:39 PM
1

It really doesn't.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:32 PM
1

What's your best case scenario from the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:14 AM
4

She understands your position, but understands the law even more. And from the brief description you gave, I would say she is right. Sounds like the court would sympathize with the mother. Not that you did anything wrong but just the circumstances. If the wife doesnt work, you're on the hook for child support, alimony... etc.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:27 PM
2

If you are able to move out, I would move out with the kids, get yourselves set up (i.e., schools, bills, doctors, in your name). Then 6 months later file for divorce. At least show the court, that you have been their primary for the past 6 months. And hopefully get child support out of it. I would request it. You can at least put it in a bank account strictly for the children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:15 PM
1

Ok. I wanted to make sure you at least had 50/50. My wife made 40K more than me, and my lawyer suggested 50/50 and no child support. I think that’s the sentiment / bias in child support cases. If it’s 50/50 either the man pays or nobody pays.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:53 PM
3

Because she wants it to be known that she is the better parent.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:02 PM
2

if there havent been any serious betrayals of trust or the marriage then it can be fixed if you both want it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:00 PM
4

That's a selfish and immature reason to get a divorce. Do you remember your vows? And you have a 2.5 year old. You bugging out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:57 PM
1

From the small bit that you shared, it sounds like you are quitting on her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:52 PM
1

I disagree. If he can put that much effort into creating a song, assuming it's written, sung and produced by him, then he can do better as a father and husband.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:48 PM
3

Even if you get/have 50/50 custody, you still may have to pay child support.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:44 PM
5

Take what you are owed because she will come for what she is owed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:40 PM
2

It's going to be as long as you two make it. Mines was amicable and still took over a year.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:38 PM
1

Got it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:38 PM
3

I'm never one to promote divorce because, in the end, the institute of marriage is necessary to build a stability for a lifetime. During marriage, both husband and wife will continue to grow, often times apart, with differing and sometimes competing interest. It's in both your vows to stick with it through bad times and good times. But if one of you no longer wishes to be married then i say go ahead and divorce. It's important that both of you want to remain married, and make it work. It should …
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:23 PM
9

You are right. But I would allow her to bring the food over to drop off for the kids. She can only visit when i'm present.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:14 PM
1

women are crazy. there's nothing you can do to control their emotions. you will tell them you are not looking for anything serious, but they will get serious about you. if you are just looking to date, then date. Once you start having sex, you have to know that emotions can follow. use caution.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:05 PM
1

I believe the best thing to do if you haven't already is to contact a lawyer so you can finalize the divorce. And have your lawyer get you an order of protection from harassment. Protect the assets you have left... move on and rebuild. If they convinced her to leave, she really didn't want to be there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 03:55 PM
1

what's visitation supposed to be according to the terms of the custody agreement?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 03:40 PM
1

ok. the reason why i asked was because i thought if you have 50/50 custody, neither party has primary custody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 02:57 PM
1

when you say 50/50 custody, do you mean you both split parenting time 50/50 weekly?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:02 AM
1

That's why i suggested reading the bible. You can have church whenever and wherever. Or try a prayer podcast. All you have to do is start.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:59 AM
5

Have you tried reading or re-reading the Bible?
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:15 AM
9

Children do not make the rules.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 05:42 PM
2

Sounds like the dog reminds you of her. So it’s like she’s always there even when she is not.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:34 PM
3

Women dont know how to communicate to their men. They talk to their men like children. Complain, Critique, and never satisfied.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:19 PM
-8

why not invite her over when the kids are there?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:16 PM
1

Get a lawyer, it'll save you more down the line.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:34 PM
3

The real issue here isn't the dog. It's the fact she is dating other men, and it bothers you. The dog is just a casualty of your discontent. the goal here should be getting over your STBXW. once you do, that dog wont bother you at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:33 PM
4

one step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:27 PM
3

If your son ends up not being yours, I think the psychological impact on both you and your son will be more severe than you are anticipating.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 05:09 PM
2

There's some similarities in our stories. We tried to do the separate but living together life. It was even worse than before. So i filed, and got up out of there. Now everything I was doing became her responsibility. She definitely took me for granted. The smoke alarm been beeping for 3 months. A few weeks ago, she had the nerve to ask me to hang up some mirrors for her. Nah ask your man to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 05:01 PM
19

i served my ex-wife with divorce papers. it was hard at first leaving the home, and having to adjust to not seeing my children everyday. But what i learned was, your children will love you unconditionally. When I get them, sometimes we all sleep in the same bed. I dont have bedrooms for them, but there is enough space that they can enjoy themselves, and for the most part i let them have the bedroom. Though it's smaller space, they always ask to come over. I say this to say men need to do what's …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:40 PM
3

it doesn't sound like you are divorced. it sounds like you're still living together. if you are still paying the entire mortgage at the behest of keeping your children in a stable environment, you're also doing so at your own regression. She gets to have the best of both worlds, the husband and the boyfriend, while you're struggling. I find a lot of men voluntarily put themselves in horrible circumstances just to satisfy the ex-wife and the children. Sometimes we have to push the red button.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:26 PM
2

why dont you petition for custody the children and the home?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:41 PM
1

Get one the job at least. That’ll give you the money to start rebuilding.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 01:40 PM
3

Two things you need as a divorcee. A supportive family and a good job… hopefully one that allows you to work OT.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 09:36 PM
25

Should’ve broken up when she asked for the girlfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 06:37 PM
2

Yes. Just accept it and get out of there. Time to rebuild but dont look back. Reality will hit her eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 10:54 AM
1

I cried today watching American Underdog.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 03:09 AM
2

Sounds like social media talking. My ex wife brought similar reasons for being unhappy. Once I heard it, I knew it was over. I knew social media had a stronger hold on her than i did. And I wasn't going to fight it because it will always be something else.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 03:07 AM
1

Fight for your life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 10:16 PM
5

Not wanting to talk to you is just a part of breaking up. I would be more concern with the spousal support than whether or not she wants to talk to me. Just continue collecting evidence before you file.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:24 PM
6

They don't have to go anywhere. Children just want to have fun. Us as parents make the mistake of overcompensating for what we did not have as children. So we might buy more toys, more clothes, more sneakers, more trips... but what do your children want?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:14 PM
1

Anytime a spouse decides to leave the home after an argument, it's time for a divorce. Either she cheating or she cheating, but either way she dont want to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:09 PM
1

Just get a cute young woman from south america.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:07 PM
3

Sounds like she found someone else to me. If you're telling me the only thing you did was call her fat after she was hurtful to you, and that's her reason for divorce? There has to be more. Or you are lacking accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:06 PM
1

To say she didn't do anything with the account is a misrepresentation of the truth. She found something, and it has her attention.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:03 PM
5

Thats a lot for a lawyer when there are no children involved. You probably wouldve had a better chance at mediation as the divorce sounds uncontested. Something like this I would get done... even if I had to do it myself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 08:53 PM
5

I also agree with 50/50. We get married knowing the rules, and knowing the possible consequences. But we still do it, and still complain. Us as men have to understand that one day, our wife will no longer want to be with us. There is no incentive for a woman to stay married when everything they are consuming says be single and independent. So 50/50 is fair to me. Even if she didn't work at all, and you made and bought everything, you accepted that. We have to start protecting ourselves pre-marri…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 08:45 PM
2

Consider if you tell, it could come back on you. Worry about yourself. Try to find your peace... and move on. I know it's tempting to get revenge, but you should instead find heal your pain. Once you have healed, you will find your peace and your freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:15 PM
10

Once that lease is up, get up out of there. What I hope doesn't happen is you linger in purgatory... that in-between stage. Either you're actively working to stay together or you're separated/divorce. Don't allow her to use you as her husband at home while she lives a single life outside. That's why I filed and moved out. She started to use be as a babysitter so she could hang out five to six times per week.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 11:53 PM
2

Do you live with family or by yourselves?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 07:38 PM
2

The key to this is giving your best effort any chance you get. Once you know you are giving your best, that's all anyone can ask for.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:56 PM
2

I disagree about chess/checkers. She's not the same woman you fell in love with you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:02 PM
1

Sounds like you've lost yourself. You forgot who you are and who you are supposed to be. We travel this life of ours alone. And it goes on with or without us. You have to make the decision on the impact you leave behind.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 05:51 PM
1

I also filed. And I do think it makes a big difference when you establish control of the situation… rather than being a victim to circumstances. By the time I filed, I had already moved out. I don’t regret my decision. I think I would’ve been more upset had i stayed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 03:54 PM
6

It could be the memories of the home that you're still living in that is making you think about her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 02:37 PM
2

how often do you speak with her face to face or by phone?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:54 PM
3

How long has it been since she left?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:50 PM
3

Women constantly use us against us. They take our best traits (i.e., protection, provision, etc.) and use it to their advantage. And the good men cant help but be good men, so we do it. So even in divorce they still try to receive what we gave them in marriage. My ex wife constantly asks me to put stuff up in the same house she didn't want me to have access to after our divorce. Nah... Hall Nah. Get your man to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:47 PM
1

It's a catch 22. But if you have to move away to build a better situation for you then do it. Hopefully she will allow you to have them during school vacations. I'm planning to move myself and I spoke to my ex about my son staying with me rather than her. If you have boys. maybe play that angle.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 09:54 PM
2

So why are you moving out and not her?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 09:45 PM
1

If you didnt have a custody agreement then how did she get full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 09:17 PM
4

My opinion... just serve her the divorce papers. She's pulling you along by a string just incase she has to circle back. Your future begins now. Don't waste any of it on someone who isnt concerned with you. We have to stop being the nice guys.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 08:41 PM
1

was it a part of the separation order that you assume all debt or did you do it voluntarily?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 08:35 PM
3

Sounds like progress to me
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 08:04 PM
1

Well you said you owned a home since 26. I assumed it was the same home and if you havent refinanced, you should have enough equity to buy you something smaller.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:35 PM
1

i learned this after i got divorced. When I was married I would try to do everything on my own. It didnt help, and made her look at me as a weak man.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:21 PM
1

sounds like you're running from something. go see her. you'll remember why you left.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:17 PM
5

Get dating out of your mind. Focus on yourself... your financial well being... your mental and emotional well being... women will always be there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:10 PM
4

She breaks them because you let her break them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:00 PM
4

Buy a two bedroom condo on the beach.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 06:59 PM
2

I doubt it’s that simple. Everyone would be doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 04:22 AM
1

I would ask if you want to be with her. If not then go head with the divorce.. Yea you'll take a loss but you'll have more time to make smart investments and rebuild rather than splitting later when you've achieved more.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 12:06 AM
1

Do you think if she made more, you would have received child support?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 02:10 PM
11

That's not a good deal. A business is an assett (makes money). A house is a liability (takes money). Dont do it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:49 AM
2

If you have your children 50% of the time, you do not pay child support. It's shared custody. And if that's case you should be able to file the tax return every other year. If she makes 42K, you shouldn't have to pay alimony. You don't make that much more than her. I'm answering this based on my experience with divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:40 AM
7

And that my friend is how you win your life back. Women are attracted to chaos. Don't allow the chaos back into your life... be a great man and a great father.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:33 AM
2

That break up is hard. It's hard for every man. But you will get through. I know this is cliche, but focus on yourself. Your health, your finances, your development... life is far from over.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:26 AM
1

You would think the lockdowns would have brough us closer. Maybe it was the excitement of everything opening back up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:23 AM
1

That's the delimma. I guess that would be the best decision.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:21 AM
1

The best way to deal with transition I think is to get yourself in order starting with your finances, your health, and your self esteem.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:17 AM
2

I ask myself the same question. My ex-wife called me around 3 AM on New Years. I was asleep but we ended up speaking for about an hour. We both shared how we made a lot of mistakes and we both had a lot of regrets. We spoke for about an hour. I think I could have done more. But I also know sometimes more is still not enough if she's not in it. Is she genuine or not is the question. And does it matter if she is.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:13 AM
1

So what will you do now? Get another home with rooms for all your children with Ex 1 & 2?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 09:07 PM
1

If you're still in the home, I don't think there is a reason to tell them. My divorce took a year and a half to be finalized. You never know what could happen between that time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:42 PM
1

No woman has an excuse to stay home, but she's going to find one. You could ask her if she's going to go back to work (fulltime) just to get a feel of what you might be up against. Remember all your savings, pension, retirement accounts, etc will be split in half. I would try to convince her to go back to work before I file. But if she refuses, I guess you have to bite the bullet, and take the loss.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:39 PM
1

Sometimes you have to give them what they want. Just make sure you land on a cloud.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:23 PM
1

Visitation I think is for parents who live reasonably close to one another. For those who live out of state... let's say you get them for summer vacation. Would you have a bedroom for each child even if it's just for a couple months out of the year?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:09 PM
1

I understand in that case. I definitely agree. But what about when you're the non-custodial and you live out of state. Would you still make accommodations?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:06 PM
1

There's a cap in NY too, but judges can make the decision to go over it. The cap would had me at $1600. My lawyer told me the judge could award as much as $2900.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:48 PM
3

First question I have is why are you divorcing her. The second question, and more importantly, why did you move out if you're the one paying for the majority of the family's needs? You gave up your leverage by moving out. My advice to all men considering a divorce or in the process... do not move out until the parenting plan is filed with the court. You put yourself at a disadvantage because her lawyer can paint the picture that you abandoned them. At this point, I would find my way back into th…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:43 PM
1

My advice would be dont tell them anything because yall still could change your minds. You guys havent even filed yet.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:30 PM
2

Why did you move out prior to the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:27 PM
12

I would wonder what happened that she "gets it now". Was it another man that is no longer there? And what does she get now that she didn't get before? I'm all for married couples working it out and finding a way to stay together because I think in the long run, if you are able to address your differences and find solutions, it works out best for the family.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:02 PM
1

Did she say why she didn’t want to be married
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 04:33 PM
1

It usually is someone else
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 04:32 PM
2

Don’t do the voluntary separation because if you move out, the court can will look at it as abandonment, and penalize you. Two options: 1) seek marriage counseling to help improve your relationship or 2) get a divorce. No in between. Unfortunately a lot of women experience marriage remorse within a few years of getting married. But do not give her the option to separate because it allows her to be married to you but act single.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 04:31 PM
5

First of all... she cant change the locks on you. That's an illegal eviction. Second, if she did buy another home, be glad that your name isn't on it. If she wants a divorce, give it to her. As a matter of fact, you file. This sounds like a control thing. Threatening to kick you out... getting you fired... If a divorce is what she wants, give it to her but give it to her under your circumstances. I would consult a lawyer, and file for the divorce... then at the end of my lease, move out. It does…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 08:41 PM
2

Your fear is just a challenge. Your wife out there getting her back blown.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:38 PM
3

I would always suggest finding a way to stay together over a divorce. But if divorce becomes the plan, i believe you have to have your own place if you want 50/50 custody with no child support, meaning you have your child with you half the week.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:35 PM
3

Divorced 6 months now. My marriage drained me, not only mentally, but also physically and financially. My short term goals are to rebuild my finances, and to maintain a positive relationship with my children. Long term goal (3 years +), relocate, buy a new home, and pay attention to my health.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:53 PM
4

do you plan to maintain a relationship with your children?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:42 PM
3

This is my fear with my children. I want to move to a different state but I have to consider being close to them as well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:28 PM
10

She wanted to show she could do it without you, but her true self will always win.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:25 PM
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