Divorce

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-06-02T19:47:59+00:00

in my 24 year marriage, she cheated (no real proof but it happened and she admitted it later in divorce therapy), then i cheated on her year 13-14ish. i made amends and did everything she wanted, it was about sex not emotion. she never really got over it. then she cheated at the end.

it’s over Jim.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2025-06-02T19:14:18+00:00

That’s not your decision. Only if she decides to work through it, does our input matter.

Once you agree to give it another shot, you’ll have years to work through it.

At that point you must become a master of validation her feelings each time it comes up, and you’ll need to become an expert at not being defensive and regulating your own emotions. It’s not an easy path.

If you’re unable to validate feelings and truly listen and empathize without becoming defensive today, this is an uphill struggle already.

If you have these skills, start using them and it may influence her decision making process

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2025-06-02T15:34:25+00:00

This is the point in your life that you realize that you fucked up and you may have to pay the price. It's her call, and if she's smart she no longer trusts you.

TheGreatSageAndOnion · 2025-06-02T00:00:47+00:00

What ever you do, don’t become a doormat. If she can’t forgive you and instead uses it to get her way, brings it up every time you disagree, it’s not worth saving.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-06-01T14:52:12+00:00

If she is heavy into social media... all she is thinking about right now is being single and how great her life is going to be without you. She's going to hit the streets running. That's going to last 2 to 3 years till she figures out the streets are dangerous. During these 2 to 3 years, you just be the best man/father you can be to her. When the streets let her go, you be there to grab her hand. Then you'll have her back.

sphynx8888 · 2025-06-01T10:08:35+00:00

I'm in a similar position, but have not yet "saved my marriage", and I'm not sure I can. I'm figuring out how the hell I got myself to a point where I could do this and I'm actively making changes in my life.

Either my wife sees that I am making positive changes and accepts the long road of work we have in front of this, or she rightfully doesn't and I come out of this a better person on the other side.

Husband Help Haven has been a great resource for me. Check out their podcasts. I haven't purchased anything of his, but found (even though it's common sense) the topics very encouraging.

EarlDooku · 2025-06-01T02:29:59+00:00

I was the betrayed spouse in an unfaithful marriage. She gaslit me for years, manipulating me into believing it was my fault. You could try that.

Or you could sincerely apologize and be prepared that she might not accept it. Accept that as a valid response to your infidelity.

Title	Divorce
Author	No-Librarian-1161
Upvotes	0
Comments	11
Date	May 30, 2025 6:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kzbxk7/divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce.1553606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553606

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