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TheGreatSageAndOnion Archive

View 6 posts and 55 comments by TheGreatSageAndOnion on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

You’ve attempted to fix this, but it’s still not working. She might promise to change, don’t fall for that. You’re in a better situation than most here, so with what you’ve shared, I would leave. The day before you file, maybe have a conversation and get everything off your chest that you’ve wanted to say. I don’t recommend the work based lawyer. I tried using that and no one responded.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 01:26 PM
1

Why don’t you file first?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 02:31 AM
3

I’ve watched that film, literally 50+ times. So underrated. The inside jokes, the plot, the comedy..so damn funny.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 07:03 PM
1

Thank you for filling in the blanks.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:17 AM
1

Hallelujah! What state was this? Was it down to how good your lawyer was?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 05:20 PM
1

Why one year of alimony? Who came up with that number? Start with 1/2 the marriage length and use it as a negotiating tactic
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 05:18 PM
2

What ever you do, don’t become a doormat. If she can’t forgive you and instead uses it to get her way, brings it up every time you disagree, it’s not worth saving.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 12:00 AM
2

That is heartbreaking, but your mental health and life are important. You showing them good character and what you believe in. They will deal with the situation and become stronger. They will need therapy too to help them.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 06:32 PM
2

The older 2 already see it, but are too scared of her retaliation to say anything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 09:08 PM
1

Nope, all warranted.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 09:07 PM
1

Thank you for the advice. I’ve started the healing and working on myself and will continue. I’m definitely not looking to get into a relationship. Definitely agree with your comments about focusing on the kids. I try and do that anyway as that’s where my joy comes from.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 09:06 PM
2

I don’t know what the deal is, but Cs is usually state mandated, regardless of a “deal” you’ve done. She can also file for CS later. Make sure you get a lawyer to read the deal on your behalf
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 09:58 PM
1

Filed again recently
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 08:18 PM
1

i had this during a previous separation. I went back because of it. I wish i’d been stronger and continued with the divorce. Then again, the kids preferred us being together for the past 5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 09:36 PM
3

Remember, the situation you’re in is what judges use to decide. If you’re looking to get joint custody, don’t leave. It might be unbearable, but the long term gain will be worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 09:27 PM
2

Congratulations. I admire your perseverance. Your daughter will know the full truth one day too. Crazy can’t hide crazy for long. Your ex will most certainly try and turn your kid against you. Keep an eye out for that and strategies to combat it
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 11:44 PM
7

What have you learnt?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 11:36 PM
2

My experience is people don’t really change. They can try for a while and then revert back. Be careful wasting time as false changes appear and then revert back to where you were and you’ve lost another 3 years
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:45 AM
1

Why are you leaving? I get it, but you might lose more during a divorce. Stay put and file. No CS as your kid is 18. Just split the assets and I expect she’ll get SS, but that’s state dependent
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:43 AM
10

Yeah, she’s all co-operative now, but could change her mind in seconds. Take advantage of it. Do not rely on verbal commitments like she take take them when she likes. Makes sure it’s all written down. The kids will need some structure. Their world has just fallen apart.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 03:09 AM
1

I’m older than you, but same experience, been lonely for a long time. I back into watching my team play on the tv. It’s definitely helped being passionate about something, even if it is just a sport. Do activities, you can travel further afield on your week wo kids. Also remember, there are around 1 billion women in the far east, south america , africa, who are beautiful, funny and family oriented. Ok, so some will want it just for the visa, but at least you’ll get some good years, maybe even re…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:11 AM
1

Yes, they’re all in school. I have already filed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:05 AM
1

Yeah, that was my thought, I’m going to look bad, on the other hand it’s setting precedent. Can’t win, can we! I tried budgets, but I’ll have to try again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:04 AM
2

Yes, already filed. I know for certain she won’t compromise, so I want to get to final hearing asap, but I’ve read examples where some exes have dragged it out 2-3 years, running up attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:03 AM
1

Ours is a 2 person permission. Do I still record for evidence when needed?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 11:57 PM
2

Not easy when the kids were young. I can take a lot for them. It wasn’t a shouting match, we were cordial, the kids loved it and thrived. Now they’re older and a switch turned on, I can see this through this time. In hindsight, yes I would have told a younger me, go through with it, the kids will be alright. However I’m also better off now (until it all gets taken away ha haa)
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 05:24 PM
5

She’s probably jealous you get to do these things. Maybe they get on with you better. My eldest 2 have to placate their mom because she takes rejection very badly, so they pretend to like hanging with her, have to say something to affirm they prefer her by saying something a little negative about me. However do watch out you don’t treat your kids as a grown up, sharing what you would with a partner. Women do this a lot, usually with the eldest daughter. They become their confidant, dating adviso…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 01:59 AM
3

Can you provide more context? Are you div or separated? How long? How old are the kids? How long have you been dating? What does cut off mean?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 08:29 PM
1

She doesn’t know what to do because she wants you to file and then tell the kids and family, you initiated it
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 05:29 PM
4

As others have said, I’ve been a doormat, providing for my kids and her. Didn’t get much in return. I just blew up and my eldest 2, because they’re behaving like their mom. Only talking to me when they need something. That’s what we do. We have the ability to change it. The kids will be alright.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:16 AM
3

Sorry to read this. We can all improve, but it doesn’t sound like you did much wrong, she just made up excuses to blame you. Was it a ruse for the visa all along? Who knows. I’m glad you cancelled the visa. Continue to stand up for yourself. Let people know there’s more to the story, with or without all the details. Don’t loom back..she may crawl back again, be strong and don’t fall for it. Take care of your physical and mental health and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 04:00 AM
2

Leave and tell everyone why
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 01:43 PM
1

I started with a 4-4-2 and realised it was old school, moved to a 4-2-3-1, sometimes deploying a 4-3-3 (That’s all in jest. Iykyk)
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:29 AM
5

I’ve been separated twice from my stbx(xx). Both times she was stoic. Matter of fact and everything is fine and the kids are happier. When we got back together she shared she was distraught, upset..everything a normal person should feel. She never wanted to be seen as weak. If they have a new boy toy or instigated it, they were checked out ages ago and had gone through their 6 stages of grief while they were still with you (all broad strokes ofc)
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:26 AM
4

Wow.. I’ll respond more later, but look up traits for BPD and Narcissism.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:22 PM
4

Yes, it took me years to finally say what I actually felt, even if it was shitty and not nice for them to hear. I definitely recommend therapy. If she’s not interested, you have your answer. She might think you don’t do enough and despises you. She’s too tired. She could be seeing someone? Communicate and get to the bottom of it. You deserve better than this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 02:46 AM
2

Sorry you had to go through that. Be the best example for your daughter and she’ll recognize that. Also, when the new baby comes along, she won’t get all the attention from her mum and she will most likely need lots of support and should naturally lean on you more. I’ll be surprised your ex’s relationship lasts for long. It’s all based on lust. When the baby comes along, that won’t be available and he’ll be wondering what he’s doing there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 05:03 PM
2

Lovely words of wisdom
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 03:26 AM
7

Wow, lots of similarities to me. Fateful from the start, the aggression, conflict avoidant. Like you, I will miss the kids immensely, but i also know when they’re with me, it will be quality time, without the negativity. I can show them who I really am and my values. Hopefully they eventually respect me for it and see through her personality. Read other posts, the importance is to get hobbies, stay busy. Don’t get caught up in your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 03:24 AM
2

Exactly..if she’s not happy she can leave without the kids. Don’t bend over to her demands.. you have rights too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 03:48 AM
1

Geees..I hope you’re doing well. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:16 PM
3

I stayed, had more kids and should have left earlier. I would try and stay as long as possible, but where you are mentally healthy too. If you’re a husk of a man, depressed, that’s not good for the kids to see. If you both know you’re checked out, can you open the marriage (seems like she did unilaterally) until they’re older and you have your finances in order? Just remember your mental and physical health is important so you live a long and healthy life to be around for your kids. Of either is…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 03:06 PM
2

I always read not to leave the house as it puts you in a weaker position, i.e. you have to maintain that house as it’s now the norm.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 07:30 PM
1

Sorry to hear you were treated like that. Better you found out and got out. I don’t understand why they don’t just say i’m unhappy and want out. Any children?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 07:26 PM
1

Thank you, that helps. I’d rather be poor than continue like this. I’m not the person I want to show to my children.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:47 PM
1

I don’t think anyone can give you the answer. Therapy might help find the underlying cause and help you come to your own conclusion. Life is unpredictable. Maybe you leave, find a wonderful wife, beautiful and after marriage, stops having sex, or she gets cancer. Life is ups and downs. You said you’re in med school? You’ll have a lot more options once you’re a Dr and more attraction. You’ll be married longer and more money to lose. Your marriage on paper doesn’t last forever, but it’s not imposs…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 01:37 PM
1

I have no friends nor family around. I am planning to play sports more often and work out when I stop snacking.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 04:56 PM
1

I think deep down, we don’t change as people. Maybe therapy can adjust us, but I have the same insecurities, urges and shortcomings, I just know how not to trigger them. If she hasn’t changed now, she never will.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 04:46 PM
1

I haven’t filed yet. 21 years married. 5 kids. She’s a sahm, refuses to work, even though youngest is 8. She has a degree. My CS will be $3.5k+ 30% of my bonus. I’m also wondering what kind of alimony i’m going to be asked for. If it’s over 1/2 my salary between CS and Alimony, I doubt I can afford to have the kids 1/2 time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 04:43 PM
1

Sorry to hear about what’s happened. Lots of good advice from great people who took the time to respond (you guys are awesome). Wishing you luck. I too believe the effort you put in is what you get out. Your kids will love to hear and see your comeback story.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 02:33 PM
1

Love it. Good on you. I had a similar experience to you in regard to sex, turned down, no initiation. Glad you get to feel desired.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 12:16 AM
6

12? Why not 5 when they’re in school FT? At least a PT job.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 09:48 PM
3

Were we married to the same person? 😄
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 09:47 PM
1

I have kids and felt like this. That’s when I realized I needed to focus on me as well as the kids. I got back into soccer and follow my team. Find anything, a hobby, better still, volunteer, help others. Travel, read a book, take up a sport. Hopefully you’ve got your health under control? If not, focus on that. Plenty of drugs to help with diabetes. Don’t give up the one life we’re given
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:06 AM
1

Each state is different, so search for TX or texas and see what others in your state posted. My advice, don’t move out. You’ll be paying for 2 properties and judges like to keep the status quo. Keep recordings (not sure if that’s legal in your state, find out) There is primary physical custody and can be joint parental (?) custody about how they’re raised. So yes it’s possible. Yes, try and do it amicably. If you both agree, you can hire an experienced mediator who will go through the items, ste…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:13 AM
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