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ModernDayOracle Archive

View 0 posts and 578 comments by ModernDayOracle on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
46

If he pushes your head down, bite. Hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 07:52 AM
6

She's so great. If you haven't already, look up the rest of her commandments for being a bad bitch. They're amazing and hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:16 AM
8

I don't trust men who don't like dumplings. Who doesn't like dumplings???? Girl, I will be your husband and come to your family Christmas because that sounds like heaven.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:02 AM
20

Well until now....my dude has been working with her for the whole time we've been dating trying to earn her trust This is a great sign imo. Compassion, understanding and patience are all positive attributes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:51 AM
1

Men still wear 'dresses'! It's a part of a lot of different cultures' standard clothing. She needs to go to therapy and work on her 8 million issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:47 AM
12

I 100% agree with the sentiment, and this is my take on it: A boundary is condition you set on your own behaviour, for example I will not be in a relationship with someone who uses porn An ultimatum is a condition you set on someone else's behaviour, for example If you don't stop consuming porn I'll dump you If you're issuing ultimatums, the battle is already lost, because it's reactive rather than proactive. A boundary also circumvents the whole 'you're trying to be controlling!1!!' response. K…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:50 AM
27

You cannot stay with men who disregard your health even 1% of the way this asshole did to her. It might break your heart and upend your world to leave them, but you must leave them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:41 AM
44

Pls rub their ears for me! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:31 AM
2

I love kids, but being a single mother would ruin me financially, as I live in a very high cost of living country. So I direct my nurturing elsewhere (nieces and nephews, volunteering etc, not manbabies!!!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:27 AM
35

Hey, my dogs know very well where they can and cannot shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:17 AM
25

I like that there's a forum like that because it means the dads aren't 100% using their wives as unpaid therapists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 12:44 AM
13

I dated an 'affirmation' guy. It translated to having to verbally assure him over everything. I couldn't just say 'that was a nice dinner you cooked' he'd put down parts of the meal until he felt he'd gotten enough affirmation. I am an acts of service woman, so we clashed massively .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:24 AM
78

Welcome, sis! Stick around, there's great advice and support, as well as 🔥 memes 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:17 AM
18

He wasn't joking :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:03 AM
45

Just like abusive men will break things in the house to show you he can apply violence to you any time he wants, this vile asshole told his fragile partner that he could take away all her options if he wanted to. Sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:28 AM
13

Double all those prices for Australia, too. Makeup is expensive there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:15 AM
13

Sis, it's normal to grieve and want him to be a different person (you don't want him back, you want back a version of him that would respect you and treat you well). Give yourself time to work through those emotions, and remember that you are worthy of being treated with love, respect and care. Standing your ground can be done minute by minute until you're ready for hour by hour, then day by day, and eventually he's just a footnote in your life. I believe you can make it through this minute. And…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:13 AM
26

First round? Ladies, if you haven't orgasmed, he doesn't even get to set foot in the ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:08 AM
18

Same, fellow old person. People had kinks and fetishes, but it wasn't in any way mainstream or expected to be part of everyone's sex life like it seems to be for younger women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:16 AM
9

Yay! I hope she finds a guy who not only loves her fashion sense, but gets her specially printed, one-off fabrics in various themes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:00 AM
6

I have two matching grey temple streaks I grew out over this lockdown and I am living for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:27 AM
3

Oh, I never have sex with men who act like that. I don't have the time for such nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:22 AM
4

You can buy sheaths that go over the penis to add size and/or texture, but a lot of men would find that an affront to their masculinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:17 AM
30

I became really good friends with the gal an old ex tried to cheat on me with (she didn't know I existed). As a added bonus, I know it killllllls him that we're friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:10 AM
21

Hearing this shit makes me ruthless with my finances. Maybe I'll DiE SiNgLe as LVMs like to threaten, but at least I'll die in a paid off house with sufficient retirement savings to be comfortable in my old age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:06 AM
72

I hope the next 'weird' dress she makes is one that says 'you're dumped' in big fluro letters and she wears it when she turns up to move her shit out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:40 AM
48

Fun fact: 19th of November is also international toilet day. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:37 AM
7

There's a bit to unpack here. The sluts/bitches thing is a big concern for me - it doesn't sound like he's changed the way he looks at women at all, he's just trying to hide it better. It might sound like a small thing, it's just words after all, right? It's actually revealing how he looks at women in general, and just because he doesn't address those insults to you now doesn't mean he won't think of you in the same way eventually. It's a very convoluted version of 'you're not like other girls'.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:16 AM
3

Like he could build me a retaining wall but also has good quality facial moisturiser in his bathroom cabinet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:25 AM
14

That was the first thing I thought. I mean, it's possibly the pain from having a tattoo on your orbit socket, but she really doesn't look like this is something she's 100% on board with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:16 AM
65

For the most part, my partners have been great in bed. My vetting advice would be: Do they show that they're interested and care about your happiness and enjoyment outside the bedroom? Are they attentive to what's going on for you? Not in an overbearing way, but for example do they notice when it might be a bit cold and offer you a jacket or to switch seats out of a breeze? Are they 100% respectful of any and all boundaries you set, no matter how small? Do they put you before themselves? Serve y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:11 AM
178

One week of her being 'unreasonable' and he's already talking divorce? Lovely. Did they actually sit down and do a budget? Consider the option of part time work for her if finances are really that grim? I wonder how much of it is him expecting to live to the same level they did when they had her wage to spend, too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:31 AM
14

Apart from the two sets of female genetalia? In my experience - better communication, more orgasms, less anxiety about performance/body insecurities, no fear of pregnancy, and a lot more afterglow cuddles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:41 AM
25

Yup, they bathed and groomed and were into dressing nicely. They also carved patterns into their teeth and accentuated them with red dye, but that at least means they HAD teeth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:34 AM
17

Hell yes. I'm hugely career focused, and I'm very good at my job; last month I negotiated a 7% payrise, in the middle of a pandemic. If they're not bringing a similar energy, it's going to be an exercise in frustration, resentment and disappointment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:27 AM
89

It's called reproductive coercion and is considered a form of domestic violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:23 AM
3

Honestly, I don't like dressing 'sexy' for Halloween. Silly or cute (Princess Bubblegum, for example) sure. But I've never done 'sexy mouse /nurse/cat'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:14 AM
1

Also never. My costume last year involved clothes that looked like they'd been rotting in the ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:12 AM
15

That poor baby was trafficked by her parents, then blamed by society for it. I'm really glad to see her (and Megan!) taking back their autonomy and supporting each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:08 AM
32

No, it is the cake that is wrong!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:30 AM
29

Thinks being A cReAtIvE justifies his emotional abuse and neglect of you. Literally never date dudes into The Smiths, doubly so if they like Morrisey's solo stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:02 AM
4

Dear scrotes, try harder, do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:00 AM
9

This is a great explanation, there's lots of internalised homophobia going on here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:58 PM
27

I mean, The Smiths is a dead give away you're gonna have a baaaaad time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:48 PM
5

Fellow spooky bitch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:46 PM
27

It's on a clear perspex sheet. Maybe that he grabbed from the garage 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:46 PM
7

Also I don't think he used a crumb coat - the Icing just pulls away from the cake!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:45 PM
66

When you decorate cut cake like this, you put a layer of Icing on to 'set', the crumby surface, THEN you put your decorative Icing on. Otherwise the Icing pulls away from the cake like this. It's, like.. Cake decorating 101. Homebody did minimal googling on this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:44 PM
28

How do you marry someone and not have had at least one discussion about politics and ideologies? I'm genuinely curious, do they just stick to surface level discussions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:13 AM
104

Cleaning out bank accounts is looked on very poorly, too. I bet he's telling her he can afford better representation than she can and she'll lose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:56 AM
174

Yep, any divorce lawyer worth half a damn would be salivating over this case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:20 AM
1

This sort of story is enough to make me want to never speak to another man again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:16 AM
1

The woman is a victim of sexual assault and domestic violence. Your lack of empathy is revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:13 AM
4

It's literally sexual coercion and assault. She's a domestic violence victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:11 AM
6

I'm in the AU/NZ part of the world, and of the men I've dated and male friends I've had, it's seen as a bit weird not to be eager go down on your female partner. Like, they're as jazzed for that bit as for penetration, haha. I've had drunken hookups (pre-FDS) that were strictly about oral for me, and that was it. It's times like this I wish there was a safe way to track attitudes based on where everyone lives and other factors! It's fascinating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:07 AM
10

I deleted all mine recently, too. I wasn't meeting many people; not for lack of potential matches (my Tinder 'likes you' queue was at about 3500 when I deleted my profile) but because the quality of the people in my area was just so poor. The matches I did make didn't put much effort into conversation. The couple of dates I did go on were awkward and not to be repeated. I'm working through the FOMO at the moment and reminding myself that it's highly unlikely I'll meet a HVM or HVW through OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:24 AM
16

That was my take on it too - especially when you watch the filmclip
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:18 AM
36

It's definitely different. I blame porn, dating apps, and hookup culture. I was horrified when I started reading stories on FDS about how men are treating their partners in bed. It's so far outside my experiences as to be almost unrecognisable; even in my wild 20s (and they were very wild) the casual violence and misogyny wasn't part of the general dating landscape. Sure, there were men like that but you knew who they were and kept well away from them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:17 AM
110

I'm pro these idiots being outed, it feels uncomfortably like making women do the work for men's flaws though. I'd say find their fathers, but there's a high chance that's who they learned it from. Their employers are the better solution, I think, especially if they have details of their work on Facebook. Clementine Ford takes a similar route , and publishes the messages men send her with their names on display. They're vile stuff, and deserve to see the light of day, not stay hidden away to pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:01 AM
15

That's my kind of home decor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 01:29 AM
196

Preach! Remember: "If he doesn't make you cum, yeet that scrote into the sun"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:53 AM
7

How is that even a goddamn question? Kick your scumbag husband out and apologise to your daughter for not yeeting that pervert into the sun the instant he said something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:11 AM
17

No, but he died penniless, and of renal failure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:07 AM
11

My superpower seems to be dating men who are fantastic in bed and terrible outside of it. I still don't miss sex, because when they're not adding anything to my life other than orgasms, then those relationships aren't worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:04 AM
153

He slept with someone else. Guaranteed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:42 PM
178

Trash self-identifying is fine by me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:51 AM
16

I wish I could up vote this twice. I've been the giver and receiver of amazingly loving, intimate oral sex with partners where it was a gentle and sensual and respectful experience. Porn has ruined so damn much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:42 AM
10

Thank you for this education. I'm not American so we don't get to hear a lot of the nuance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:06 AM
17

I hate the 'tell his mum!' or 'blame his mum!' thing. No, find his dad and ask why he didn't raise a better man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:03 AM
2

HVM and HVW come in all shapes and sizes, sis. I ran workshops for C-level execs with a red mohawk. I consulted on a massive federal infrastructure project with a shaved head and septum ring, I've presented at international conferences in doc boots and a leather jacket. If his style isn't yours that's completely fine, but let's not be mean and dismissive until there's actual red flags, yeah?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:54 AM
4

This is unbelievable. A female partner had a breast reduction while we were dating, and she could only just bear to wear a soft crop top at the 6 week mark. Breast bondage would very likely damage the sensitive tissues that are still healing!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:43 AM
15

I don't know any women who use that language. Not a single one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:31 AM
9

I get what you're trying to say, but it perpetuates the whole 'tight virgin / loose slut' idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:11 AM
18

Romanticising self-sacrifice like this is revolting. Once upon a time women had to stay in relationships because there was no way for them to provide for themselves and their children otherwise. Surprise, fuckers, that's no longer the case and we are NOT sticking around for men who refuse to be equal, respectful partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:05 AM
6

Its hard to hide the long-term same-sex relationship I had (we're still friends, there's photos on social media if you dig back a bit etc) So I vet hard for bullshit attitudes towards bi/queer women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:38 AM
4

Yeah, literally the only person who sees what my vagina looks like is my gyno, and she's too busy making sure the old gal is healthy to be rating its attractiveness!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:18 AM
16

An ex of mine had very large labia minora. They reminded me of a beautiful, blossoming flower. You're not gross, your body can do so many wonderful things and bring you many enjoyable sensations, it's a wonder and absolutely lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:15 AM
7

That sounds like the worst sex ever ngl It's just an excuse for them to not be considerate lovers. You can't do much about genetics, you can learn to be great in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 09:26 AM
67

Hey fellow murderino! 'Fuck politeness' is a very FDS approved attitude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:18 PM
29

This is word-perfect. Don't sleep with men who don't prioritise your enjoyment, comfort and pleasure. Just don't. And you can tell before the dick goes in if he's going to respect and treasure the experience with you or not. Does he touch you in a way designed to bring you enjoyment, or is it for his benefit? Does he pay attention to the way you respond to kisses, caresses etc and focus on the stuff that is positive for you? Does he demonstrate he understands that women have more erogenous zones…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:59 PM
22

It's such a bonding experience, another reason to only have sex with a man who loves you and is committed to your happiness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:46 PM
153

What they hear: only men with 800ft penises deserve to get laid What we actually mean: all women have different needs in terms of penetration and clitoral stimulation. There are multiple ways you can improve your lovemaking so that your partner is satisfied every time, but you don't want to put the effort into learning what gets her off. Source - I've had half a dozen crygasms, one of which was from a lover who was smaller than my usual preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 10:36 AM
2

Dont forgive him. It's not an act that can be forgiven. Erase him from your life. From this point on he is nothing. Damnatio memoriae. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damnatio_memoriae
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:57 AM
14

Thank you for sharing this awful and painful memory to help other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:51 AM
37

Your poor baby, I'm so angry on both your behalves. I hope that scrote gets incurable diarrhoea and and spends the rest of his life shitting himself in shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:49 AM
1

I'm fantastic at ferreting people out. I've worked IT and infosec, scrotes have no chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 03:22 AM
26

Girl, half your comments are on the Roast Me subreddit. I'm not going to take a scolding from someone who thinks that kind of behaviour is OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:02 AM
1

I love your energy in this, Queen 👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:15 AM
3

Totally is fan fiction. I wouldn't put it past some scrotes to have only one quilt though, and it'd be yellowing with no cover...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:14 AM
3

They underestimate us, absolutely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:10 AM
27

Let's normalise platonic life partnerships!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:26 PM
29

They end up unpredictable, reactive dogs, barking and aggressive to everyone because they have no sense of security and no calm guidance from their owner. You would have seen how bully breeds are very sensitive to their owner's moods and want to please - if the owner reacts positively to the dog being aggressive, the dog will keep it up. Add to that breeders who focus on aggression and looks rather than breeding for health and positive temperament, and it's a recipe for disaster for any dog, let…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:24 PM
53

Hold up, sis. You've got your PhD? Congrats, Queen! Thats a whole lot of work and effort and brains and dedication right there. That's worth celebrating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:45 PM
60

My pitbull x is currently snuggled up under a blanket with me, head in the crook of my knee and her favourite stuffed monkey in her lap. She wants nothing more than to make me happy and be right next to me, so this hit a nerve 😢 He showed his whole entire ass with that post. Abusive to women, abusive to animals. In the unlikely event he actually has both a partner and a dog, I hope they leave him and live a much better life together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:42 PM
33

Your instincts were right - it's cruel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:37 PM
10

I had a match on OLD, we were talking about pets and he sent me a link to an image on his pet's instagram account so I could see it dressed as a Disney character. Oh, my sweet summer child. Within 1 minute I found his Facebook profile and he was blocked for having a live-in partner. Note - dude had nothing in his relationship field, always check his posts as well. Pre-FDS I would have gone through mental gymnastics to figure out ways it could be OK, but not any more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:21 PM
175

That's... Besides being horrifyingly misogynistic, that's not even how you use dog crates. They're supposed to be safe little dens for your dog. If my dog is stressed, she goes and lies in her crate to help self-soothe. When she's ready for bed, she stands at the door and waits for me to open it. You want your dog to feel like they can go into the crate whenever they need. A properly crate trained dog won't walk in and out demanding treats because the safety and security of the crate is the rewa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:10 PM
11

Only acceptable if you're taking me to the little coffee roaster that holds master-classes in learning all the finer details of coffee, from bean to cup, complete with a flight of coffees to taste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 11:12 AM
2

Judi Dench, Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julie Christie, Isabella Rossellini... What wall??? Actually, screw another James Bind movie, I want a spy movie about a division full of gorgeous older women who were given their own branch because they were deadlier, smarter, and more efficient than their male co-workers (who spent hours mooning about after them)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:02 AM
10

Yeah, that fits. Such a shitty thing to do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:41 AM
14

I've done the opposite, shed my flapper bob of 20 years to go long, and dammit, it takes so much time to deal with!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:10 AM
149

I get the feeling she wants to bang girls, not date them. I'm getting a real dude bro vibe from her attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:07 AM
1

As a wlw, I can confirm the female orgasm is real and very much an observable moment, sometimes up to 20 seconds' worth of 'moment'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:01 AM
15

Hell, cast Helen Mirren as the seductive older woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:52 AM
16

Ooh, that is such a good haircut. And it's so much easier to wash/dry than long hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:37 AM
10

It sounds lovely sis, congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:35 AM
2

I follow her on insta and it's 🔥 🔥 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:00 AM
35

Sorry honey, I thought meat left in the garden for five days was fine to use for your lunch! And your compiter looked dusty, so I hosed it out. Guess I'll just have to skip cooking and cleaning forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:12 AM
24

I mentioned this below, but she's laughing with him, not at him, whereas it seems like the reverse in that first vid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:29 PM
34

She's laughing with him, not at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:27 PM
18

Such a different attitude on her part, it's an interesting insight into their dynamics
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:26 PM
83

So next up he tries to pronounce Swahili words and she can be patronising towards him, too, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:14 PM
4

Institutional racism :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:21 AM
40

I think I might start carrying a sharpie in my bag and a list of helplines when air travel is a thing again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:35 AM
26

I chose instead to look up pictures of capybaras with animal best friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:33 AM
5

I've had a female GP examine my breasts for me when I found a lump. I felt nothing but safe and respected. I've had a female technician perform an invasive and distressing examination, and felt nothing but safe and respected. It is our RIGHT to have medical care provided by someone we trust to treat us with professionalism and care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:12 AM
41

"I am a female with a uterus containing a perfectly standard baby inside"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:18 AM
22

I have an expensive office chair because ergonomics are important. However if I had a pregnant girlfriend who found the chair comfy I would get her a whole damn one of her own on account of the fact she's growing our baby and deserves all the comforts she desires. Possibly one for each room so she doesn't have to carry it around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:17 AM
16

ANGRY REACTS ONLY. How selfish a person must you be say you wish someone wasn't assaulted because then YOU wouldn't have to deal with your feelings about it. Prick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:58 AM
141

That's not even a mechanically sound proposal..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:51 AM
1

He was a cutie, not any more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:45 AM
2

I loooove The Ordinary too! There's something just so pleasing about those little bottles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:41 AM
1

Oh gosh, you're all a making me feel so lazy. I was blessed with great genes, so I've not had to do much. Really, the biggest things that have affected my skin is staying out of the sun, drinking water and eating healthily. Mornings I wash my face with a gentle balancing cream cleanser, and apply moisturiser. If I remember I apply a peptide serum. If I'm going outside I put sunscreen on, I have a face-specific one and tend not to layer foundation over it; my 'dressed up' face involves a lot of p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:26 AM
41

This is so fetch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:26 AM
99

So he's paying two separate lots of child support, has no contact with his daughters, and lied about them? Girl, run. The whole man is broken, get a new one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:23 AM
35

Oooh, good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:21 AM
27

Do not do this, they will masturbate into your shoes/ conditioner bottle/ something around the house!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:22 AM
43

Did BFF open up to men, or are they being sly? I got tired of seeing their faces in my potential friends queue so stopped using it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:06 AM
2

Absolutely - keep your standards high, we can agree on that 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:04 AM
1

Isnt the whole point of this THREAD and forum to illustrate positive examples of male behaviour that we should be on the lookout for? It's not a forum for praising the bare minimum, though. We go down a very dangerous path when we praise anyone for not acting like a jerk. That's not praiseworthy, that should be standard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:35 PM
3

My hard and fast rule is that I don't pay for anything inside a game. If I have to put down money beyond that which I paid for it originally, I stop playing. Fortunately the kinds of games I like don't use loot boxes. Yay for puzzle platform games!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:01 AM
47

I'd expect a lottery winner to take care of his family, I don't get why this is noteworthy...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:12 AM
6

I'm sorry he was such a shitstain of a man, forcing you to go through that alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:03 PM
4

If your mum understands what Reddit is, tell her we're proud of her ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:00 PM
11

I like to think it's her new partner, who tells her every day how amazing she is, supports her 2000% and is her biggest cheerleader, brings her flowers at the office with her favourite chocolate 'just because', and gives her multiple orgasms any time she wants them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 11:58 AM
5

I have really thick and very fine hair, so I love it! Start with a little bit and work your way up to giant greatness :D I know, I get such great advice here for a range of topics. Queens slay in all parts of their lives 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:28 PM
26

They're perceptive, they just don't care. Also grab a styling powder, and apply to your roots. I love Evo's Haze because it's matte and smells great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:59 PM
43

Someone needs to tell her that 'Disappointing Dick Appointment' is not an emergency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:54 PM
13

It's very normal in some countries, mine included, I think it's to do with a culture of co-renting, even as adults. 50/50 on a mortgage is a very different beast, though. You're essentially helping pay off his asset, and you're right to be wary of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:47 PM
33

In a pandemic, no less!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:39 PM
13

I did, and it made me really sad :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:06 PM
81

Women don't have rape fantasies, because rape is the act of being forced to have sex without consent. Women have rough sex fantasies and fantasies where they hand over the majority of control to their partners, but they are still consenting participants in the act. There's a whole host of reasons women might persue this, a not insignificant one of which is trauma re-enactment, a sense-making tool people use to try and cope with historical traumatic events. Calling it a rape fantasy dilutes the i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:27 PM
37

I love this account, I don't love that it has endless material. Basically she poses on Tinder as a young (19 I think) woman and only swipes right on older men. Then she has fun at their expense and posts the results on instagram.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:12 PM
19

This is a troll account, she baits these scrotes then posts the conversations on insta
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:10 PM
6

Sure! Obviously this is tailored to my city, and with the caveat that I'm from a non-American culture so some of the things I consider appropriate may not be for you :) My cheap/free non-food date ideas: Museums, galleries and cultural centres. Apart from their usual collections, they often have travelling exhibits, which have guided talks from artists or experts. Art is important to me, so this one is close to my heart. I had a date surprise me with tickets to an exhibit of one of my favourite …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:33 AM
4

We have a big cafe culture - they serve food that can be more expensive and fancy than 'restauant' food, just with great caffeine. I always read that rule as 'we don't go on dates that involve just a drink and zero effort' - so Starbucks style coffee houses, bars etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:57 AM
5

Yeah! We have some amazing galleries and museums, cultural talks and presentations, free classes/lessons and cheap restaurants serving incredible food for a couple of bucks. A guided tour of a modern art museum, then a meal, finished by a dessert and live music at an outdoor Cafe could be done for $25, and that's a generic date, not one tailored to the individual's interests. I'm constantly on the look out for cool things to do in my city, there's no excuses for low effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:53 AM
8

Or who have crap replies to prompts! I've sent a few 'their responses are straight up nonsense' reports 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:13 AM
490

Off the top of my head I can think of four activities in my city that would cost under $25 and would be FDS approved as a first date. Its not just that these dudes are cheap, its that they refuse to put ANY effort in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:57 AM
8

"looking for someone open minded" T: I've got a weird kink and/or want to sleep with other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:25 AM
3

I hope you had a lovely day in Windblade and your icecream was delicious. Your pain is so valid and real, this is a lot of hurtful bullshit to be dealing with. But take a deep breath, sis - these people are not good people, and not worth a moment of your time or tears ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:27 AM
7

How scary, I'm so sorry. I run with my dog - she's a complete sweetheart but has a bark like she's going to take your face off and doesn't like most men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:06 AM
74

My freelance rate is $180/hr. It takes me at least an hour to get ready for a date. I am financially contributing a hell of a lot more than 50% to the date before I even set foot in the restaurant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:48 AM
7

And many top chefs are men! I'm not quite sure where the tipping point is for all these things, where silly female hobbies become respectable male pursuits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:49 PM
23

My takeaway from this post and the comments is that the most important thing is to wait until you are ready for sex. That might be marriage, that might be commitment. Be true to your ideals and hold your partner to a high standard. I didn't wait for marriage, and I don't regret it at all, but that doesn't make it right for you, OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:28 PM
57

Anything coded female is looked down upon. Girls liking boy bands? Ugh. Fashion (except when it's haute couture and men can profit off it)? How vain. Hair and makeup? Take her swimming on the first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:10 PM
23

Idea: Wife dumps the husband. Doula supports her through the birth. They fall in love and live happily ever after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:10 AM
12

I wonder if it was more along the lines of 'we're going to be doing these things, please join us for as many as you like!' rather than insisting in everyone doing everything. There's a nice variety of events that should mean at least one event would appeal to everyone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:00 AM
22

That's a lot of words for 'I've never made a woman orgasm'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:58 AM
122

I date men and women. I have to steel myself against the wall of disappointment that comes from switching my OLD settings to 'everyone'. Not just the quality of the profiles, but the general quality of interactions. Case in point : matched with a super cutie, two afternoons of pleasant and interesting chatting and she's asked me out on a nice (socially distanced) date. The men in my queue are wasting my time with offers of 'let's hang out'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:55 AM
36

And the audacity to assume the doula is interested in his dusty ass. This guy can go get fucked. Instead of controlling himself, he's ripped away an important relationship from his pregnant wife. One whose loss may jeopardise the safety of her and her baby. I hope he never gets an erection again in his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:50 AM
15

I must have some magical sixth sense about partners (or its an age thing, I'm in my 40s), because I've never experienced this. It's horrifying that men are doing this. Ladies, the moment he even slightly crosses a boundary in bed, leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:30 PM
71

Sis, please stay safe. This is statistically the MOST DANGEROUS time for you. Stop using this account. Check your phone for tracking software. Reset ALL your passwords to something he won't ever guess. Your only focus now is keeping you and your little one safe, so don't underestimate him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:44 AM
27

And the step-* trend. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:51 PM
4

I was all 'whaaaaat?' and indignantly ran to google to confirm. In my defense, I've just woken up and have had zero coffee so far 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:49 PM
74

Its disturbing and gross, but I think it's more a sign of the normalisation of porn consumption. Women's bodies that have gone through puberty don't look like that of children, even if you remove all body hair. I would put money on any man who demands his partner shave being a big porn consumer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:45 PM
7

Imagine telling on yourself like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:39 PM
75

18, they've been dating for 8 years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:15 PM
42

This is rape and has zero to do with sexuality. That poor man, I hope someone in his life helps him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:47 AM
9

And so much better for your mental health!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:29 AM
64

Jobkillers (hands, neck, face) without an established career in a field that is fine with these is a big red flag for me, and I've got a lot of ink myself. I don't think you can generalise other than that, though. I live somewhere that cultural tattooing is pretty common, and where a large number of people have a tattoo (or twelve). My org has heavily tattooed people in exec and managerial positions. Personal preference is different, if tattoos aren't your jam then lots of ink is going to be a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:17 AM
10

I haven't given up on dating, I'd happily date a worthwhile partner, I've given up on trying to turn unworthy partners into acceptable ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:26 AM
1

Oh, no need to apologise, it's always been part of 'the plan', so I was adding in some context :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:12 PM
5

I opted not to do the kids/marriage thing (but intend to foster once I have a bigger house). One of the big changes for me was the increase in how much a man needs to bring to the table to make him a suitable partner. My life is wonderful and full, you gotta bring your A+++ game if you want me to make space in it for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:22 AM
25

Yup. My experience is a little different, in that I'm not actively seeking marriage as an end goal. However 99% of FDS rules and standards still apply to my dating life and desire to level up. I'm completely secure financially and career-wise, which isn't always the case for women in their 20s and early 30s, and that makes a huge difference to my independence. Red flags are a little easier to spot, and your capacity to give a fuck drops significantly. Also, minor tangential rant, 30s and 40s isn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:14 AM
21

Why do you care what LVM exes think? Don't let them live in your head rent free
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:06 AM
2

I'm a grown up engineer with a Rita Hayworth mohawk Oh my god, I'm a little in love with you! Haha. I hate the whole 'I can't look alternative and have a good job, it's society's fault' attitude. You absolutely can, you just gotta be good at what you do and not look like you crawled out of a Killstar reject bin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:06 AM
28

Cry me a river, you tiny toddler-man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:27 AM
5

Why do goth men have their shit together less, on average, than regular guys? I'm a home owning, investment-having, six figure salaried, intelligent, educated, amazing woman. They have cheekbones and an impressive collection of band teeshirts. We are not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:16 AM
3

You've just described all the goth boys I dated in my 20s :P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:54 AM
6

My anecdata says men who dance well are often great lovers. It's research 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:44 AM
5

I dated a man who was a few inches off 7ft, and it's not fun. Logistically, practically, it's a giant pain in the arse (and neck). There's so many coupley things that are impractical, even something as simple as holding hands comfortably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:32 PM
14

I've dated a wide variety of physical types, but I find the following most attractive : strong hands and forearms. The hands of musicians or artists or anything that isn't just typing on a computer all day smells good. A tasteful cologne that works with their body chemistry, and clean skin fit from something other than the gym. graceful and coordinated - my version of 'take her swimming on the first date' is 'take him dancing on the first date'. long hair is well maintained and cared for. Short …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:27 PM
5

Came here looking for the Ferengi reference, was not disappointed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:54 PM
8

I like to imaging FDS as a cross-section of women in society - young, old, plain, beautiful, thin, fat, a variety of cultures and races. We all deserve respect, every single one of us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:48 PM
15

Report that shit. Hinge has a reporting option for people not looking for a relationship (or if their profile represents a couple)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 08:08 PM
27

(Full disclosure - this sounded like trauma talking, so I took a quick peek at your post history.) Being slow to trust is healthy, being unable to trust is something you should work on with a therapist. This is a very common aspect of CPTSD, the traumatising relationship teaches the traumatised person that it isnt safe to trust anyone, so they look for 'proof' of broken trust or set up situations where trust is challenged so they can reinforce their internal narrative that no one can be trusted.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:49 PM
2

Those poor babies :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:33 AM
9

Hurting his ex was more important. These are the men that become family anihilators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:48 AM
10

God, this. I read the post on FB and was all 'OK, but why are you friends with this idiot in the first place?'. They're enabling his crap behaviour and forcing the women to hold him to account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:41 AM
6

I was super supportive and encouraging of an ex of mine wanting to cut his long hair short, because I thought he'd look super cute. He did it right after we broke up. Turns out I was wrong, he looked terrible and it was my love-goggles that made me think he'd look good, whoopsie 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:39 AM
2

It helps that I'm fiercely independent so this is in no way unusual for me :) Besides, what's there to judge? I make plans to see family and friends either before or after. If people ask why I want to spend my birthday alone, I explain that its my day to spoil myself and reflect on the year before and the year going forward. I've never been given grief about it tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:04 AM
6

I do this! If I'm working, I take the day off, then I do a day's worth of stuff I want to do - gallery visit, great lunch, walk in the park, something like the Opera or ballet at night. People know my date of birth, but they also know I spend it in my own way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:05 PM
10

I'm so glad to hear you're safe and well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:56 AM
1

Girl needs therapy, not a ridiculous crush on some dude she's built up in her head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:30 AM
4

I have a $400 kneeling chair and it's worth every cent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:36 AM
8

Me too! What in the inefficient hell is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:27 AM
2

^ As Tag Team once said, whoomp, there it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:25 AM
28

He's saying he fucked the dishes. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:55 AM
3

Nice one! You're going to get out there and help other women find their power, I can feel it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:43 PM
3

I'm proud of you and the effort you're putting in, sis ❤️ I box too, and it's been amazing for my confidence and keeping me connected to my body. Plus I have amazing shoulders now 💪🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:33 PM
46

This is my total lack of surprise that the photos are of WOC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:43 AM
1

It's common for my culture too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:40 AM
2

He's come a long way since The Birthday Party!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:38 AM
13

I hope he has life insurance and an aneurysm tomorrow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:32 AM
36

Here's a horrible thought - sexual assault victims often use weight gain to make themselves unattractive to their predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:37 AM
30

He sounds tedious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:55 AM
11

By the time my puppy was 3 months old, she had nailed the concept that you only pee in the appropriate place. I'm not saying he's significantly dumber than a creature that enjoys snacking on cat poop, but I'm not not saying it either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:54 AM
2

It wouldn't hurt to stick a photo of Steve and/or Dave to your bag, really give you somewhere to aim that cross! We have some very similar dating and family history, and I struggle with anger too. What helps me is mindfulness practice, meditation, and forgiving myself for making decisions that I wouldn't make now. Trauma takes a while to heal from, but you can do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:11 PM
3

They hang out at festivals, and push massages on women. And will tell you about their polyamory in the first 5 min of meeting them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:02 PM
30

Gross. Also report him to the moderators!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:32 PM
67

Don't threaten me with a good time! The only men worth a damn want equality for women, too, so I'll head to the side where I get equal rights and HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:29 PM
77

Her ex sounds like a complete dick, too. They wouldn't have worked out if she let him initiate because drumroll he didn't care about her from the beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:27 PM
1

I regularly ask myself 'WWERD?'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:56 PM
3

I was about to say! (don't apologise, I am too!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:50 AM
6

Goosebumps! Also I wanna hear you belt out some blues!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:11 PM
18

Why would you, you haven't even gone out with them yet. I don't think you need to say it at all, to be honest. If things start moving towards intimacy then have a conversation as part of your practice of active consent. You don't need to explain or preface your decisions, which is exactly what you're doing if you start putting sex (or refraining from) on the table. And remember - no is a complete sentence :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:28 AM
26

It's so true! My forties have been amazing - I achieved more financial independence, more confidence, better boundaries, better style, more happiness... This crown is shining. And I fully intend my 50s to be even better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:00 AM
7

For the younger or inexperienced FDS members - sometimes lube is an important part of enjoyable sex. Our bodies don't always keep up with our desires, and a number of medications and health factors (even dehydration or menopause!) can cause dryness. There's no shame, and you're not less of a woman, if you incorporate lube into your lovemaking. HOWEVER it is not a substitute for respect and care and consideration from your partner. Regardless of whether you use lube or not, he should be focusing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:10 AM
6

Me too!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:02 AM
8

Say it again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:02 AM
23

I gagged, haha such a gross description
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:23 PM
18

That is some excellent self-respect you showed there, Queen. 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:20 PM
11

Oh yes, they're definitely facing some major challenges in that regard. The internet changed things completely in so many ways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:10 PM
180

Young girls are so much more confident and outspoken and educated than we were when I was a teenager. I am HERE FOR IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:13 AM
12

This made me smile from ear to ear, what a thoughtful way of supporting his wife!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:10 AM
47

I love that Hinge has reporting options specifically for couples. Take your audacity elsewhere!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:07 AM
2

I bought my first place on my own, I scrimped and saved and lived on a brutal budget to get the down payment, then made additional mortgage payments to really smash the critical point when the interest accruing means you barely touch the principal. Because of this, in a couple of weeks I'll be closing on my first investment property, too. Also on my own. The security of owning your own home provides cannot be understated. Get your palace, Queens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:02 AM
4

Stable income. Has health/car/contents insurance. Is actively saving towards retirement beyond the mandatory contributions in my country. Has a healthy emergency fund. Has savings. Has (and sticks to) a budget. I also look favourably on owning property, though the ownership rates in my city are poor due to exorbitant pricing, and single people struggle to buy on their own. Y'know, just the things I do myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:49 AM
8

I'm going to bow to your greater experience in this field, you will have had a lot wider exposure to attitudes in your previous job! Tbh I did the legwork finding condoms that fit with my ex because I was sick of sex being such a production. Its frustrating they're all shrug about it, though, especially when women bear the consequences of condom failure/breakage etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:39 AM
26

Next time you get a mega-dong boyfriend question, My.Size makes the biggest condoms on the market and they will fit the largest of todgers. There's no excuses, only poor planning on their part - they've had the same dick for multiple years!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:51 AM
26

If my whiny husband was attempting to stick his finger in my knickers while I was trying to make the kids dinner after a long day of seeing patients, DURING A PANDEMIC, I wouldn't want to fuck him either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:44 AM
16

I died a little inside at 37 being middle aged, haha 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:42 AM
42

But I don't want him prepped! It's sO MuCh BeTtEr when he's all tight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:39 AM
3

I can tell you're cool by your username alone! Its such a low effort approach, it shows they've put zero attention into me as a person. I have multiple artistic pursuits! I have a fascinating career! I have several hobbies that encourage discussion and questions! I'm not lacking in opportunities for conversation starters. And don't get me started on the ones for whom the only acceptable response is 'oh me, really? Gee shucks, Mister, I don't think I've ever been told that before!'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:29 AM
168

I'd like to propose a new rule: If he can't handle what comes out of a vagina, his penis doesn't get to go into one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:54 AM
33

Same, girl, same. I love compliments on things I've done - my accomplishments, my achievements and the like. I am turned off by compliments on my appearance, especially if they focus on it - my looks are literally the least interesting thing about me. I find there's a difference, too, between 'hey, I love your hair/makeup!' (something I've put time and effort into) and 'you're pretty!' (something I had no hand in, that was all up to genetics). I know I fit modern beauty standards, I've been told…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:50 AM
99

Imagine being so callous and self centred that you make your partner's rape all about how sad your penis is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:01 AM
10

Why aren't you telling friends/family? Some in-person support would be good for you ❤️ Block that number, sis. If you have to, pretend you've got the phone of your favourite female friend/relative and you're blocking the number of a guy who has treated her the way this garbage man has treated you. You can do this, it's just 5 five seconds to get through for a life of peace!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:15 AM
12

I am the love child of Jessica Fletcher and Hercule Poirot when it comes to finding the sketchy shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:10 AM
14

Porn at work? Jesus jumping Christ, break up with this train wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:57 AM
5

I come from a culture where men touch/hug/kiss on the cheek other men. My father and brother have held hands in public. Male friends will put their arms around each other. The same comfortable contact was one of the things that jumped out at me from those photos. I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:21 AM
4

People find marriage partners while they're in nursing homes, you've got plenty of time :) (and I'm in my 40s too)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:13 AM
7

Just be prepared for them to steal your eyeliner! And look better in it that you do grumblegrumblegrumble
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:06 AM
24

I got a couple of whingy messages about how violent we are to our boyfriends and something about 75 year old men giving up their seats for women on the bus. I'm guessing we'll see a bit of that for a while
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:43 PM
1

Google! Sewing classes are really popular, and most of the time it'll be a woman who's been sewing her entire life and now teaches. You can ask at your local craft store, too, or put a call out on your social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:12 PM
828

Repay her incredible bravery by breaking up with this man. The moment they lay hands on you the relationship should be over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:39 AM
3

True Crime is my jam, and I've never been able to read Junko's story. I just can't. I know the outline, but refuse to get the details, it's just too awful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:29 AM
6

Spooky Queens helping Spooky Queens! 🦇 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:16 AM
7

It depends on what kind of info you have. Try googling their username (people often use the same or variations on a theme), google image search their profile pic or any other pics on their account to see where else they've been used. You can screenshot said images if the platform doesn't let you save them, and upload them to Google images (or TinEye) . If you want to get super fancy, photos sometimes have EXIF data that will tell you where it's taken etc. There's several EXIF reader sites out th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:13 AM
7

I know it doesn't feel this way now, but in a little while you are going to be so glad he showed his colours now and not after you experienced something with him that should be all about care and consideration . He's treating sex like something you owe him. Never sleep with a man that makes sex transactional. You deserve to have your first time (and all other times!) be special and loving and occur in a space of trust and respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:47 AM
2

I had to tell people to move out of my way so I could properly administer first aid to someone who had fainted. People are deeply selfish sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:30 AM
6

I'm that bitch that loudly says 'excuse me, one of you need to move so this person can sit down' to the people in priority seating when there's someone who needs a seat. I do of course politely check with the person first, a quick 'hey, would you like a seat?', then I go full Righteous Avenger on the jerks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:28 AM
1

Not engaging in fast fashion and fashion seasons was the smartest thing I did for my wardrobe. I buy from smaller businesses (ideally women owned and local) , and invest more money into pieces so they last. For example, my jeans are about five times as expensive as the local fast fashion chain jeans, but I wear them to absolute death. I got six years of heavy wear out of the last set, I'd have replaced cheaper jeans about 4 times in that time period, if not more. I also recommend learning to sew…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:21 AM
2

I did this too! Pretty much the same rules. And we donated anything left over to a local shelter or charity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:15 AM
6

I spent a few years in Sydney, and loved my 4am trips to Flemmington to haggle with providores and then a morning of grazing on delicious treats, but that was with three girlfriends, not some lame excuse for a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:08 AM
14

How is this even a question???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:53 PM
18

This stranger is proud of you for doing the right thing, even though it's the hard thing. It gets better, sis ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:48 PM
12

I think part of me is still standing there at stop #7543 for the 153 in Houston. I managed to make it through almost all of this thread without crying, but failed at this point. Thank you for sharing his story with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:42 PM
22

I remember seeing all the photos and videos and tweets and posts of black Americans watching the movie and how joyous and excited and enthusiastic everyone was about it. It was just beautiful. I hope knowing he made that possible was a small comfort in his battle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:38 PM
3

Me and my HVW are currently doing the same 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:20 PM
47

And the fact his response was to kick her out of the house they shared, with a worldwide pandemic going on? What's the level below a NVM?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:11 PM
6

That edit is this space in a nutshell - a place where women's lives, safety and wellbeing are supported, honoured and prioritised. Thank you, mods, for all that you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:02 AM
2

It's a control thing. He can use it to gaslight her by saying 'you have a Tinder too! I'm not being unfair!'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:32 AM
1

Oh, one other thing. I bet Tom tells her you don't care about her, or make fun of her, or other lies like that to keep her confused and isolated. He may also read her texts (in fact, he probably does).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:26 AM
1

It sounds like you genuinely care about her, now you know the big picture, you also know it's time to act. Holding men accountable is hard, especially when it comes at our own expense. But Queens make hard choices all the time! You can do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:24 AM
110

Exactly! It used to mean 'my six-pack now has a bit of cushion because I'm prioritising my wife and children over gainz'. I find that 'strong but not cut' type really attractive. Now it's an excuse to have a gut the size of the moon and zero tone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:53 PM
1

Bingo! So gross. Pre FDS I would have paragraphed at him, now I just block.. No more energy for him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:47 PM
23

You and your husband need to grow spines and stand up to Tom. Your best friend is being abused, and all you can say is 'you're a douche, Tom' or 'I don't approve' ? Not good enough. No wonder this poor woman can't get out of bed, her 'best friend' supports her abusive husband. And you are supporting him, make no mistake. Every time he abuses her, and you do nothing, or wring your hands about how hard it would be to detangle your lives, you tell her she's not worth standing up for and you tell hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:56 AM
12

Ugh. My NV, future-faking, manipulative ex found me on the ONE platform I hadn't blocked him on, and sent me a 'are you ok? I'm worried about your happiness' manipulative fishing expedition message. Of course I fixed my error and blocked him straight away, but dammit, man, have some class. It's been a tough week and I didn't really have the tiny bit of energy to spare to deal with his nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:15 AM
2

This is a great opportunity to focus on yourself, sis. Treat yourself to all the care and consideration you denied yourself while giving all your energy to that loser. Your happiness and wellbeing is your top priority now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:50 AM
3

How frustrating!!! I hate this attitude that women are trying to trick poor innocent men. Most of us have much better things to do with our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:48 AM
27

Getting a very mediocre dicking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:24 AM
17

I love this post, and your confidence 👑 My look is very deliberately not 'natural' - lots of sharp black eyeliner and blood red lipstick and involved hairstyles. Any man who thinks he gets to have an opinion about what I do with my style is shit outta luck, and I will add more eyeliner if he brings it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:16 AM
74

How do you know if a guy is into BDSM? Don't worry, he'll tell you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:07 AM
43

And honestly, a 22yo is barely an adult. She's so young. Thst doesn't excuse her having shitty morals and acting badly, but so much of the blame lies with the grown-ass man encouraging and probably orchestrating a lot of this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:04 AM
3

If it's a woman, then absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:59 AM
18

It's a distancing technique. Do not put up with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:56 AM
17

That's some poor quality lettering. What does 'C, et' mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:55 AM
179

So many men my age look like Shrek's older hobo brother. They don't take care of themselves at all and it shows in their health as well as their appearance. Meanwhile I regularly get messages on OLD from men insisting I must be using old photos because I couldn't possibly be my stated age. Nah, son, this is just how you age when you are unproblematic and care about your wellbeing 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:53 AM
47

Girl, it takes two to match. NO SWIPING ON EXES EVER. It never ends well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:50 PM
40

If he only has white male authors on his shelf, nah sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:45 AM
1

Tag yourself, I'm June
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:37 AM
2

My camera roll is 50% photos of my dogs, 50% FDS or FDS-leaning memes. No regrets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:34 AM
5

The guy who's going to start a sustainable farm in Maine in the next 2 years. He has already bought the land. (I have met MULTIPLE of these. Idk how men have this fantasy that they're going to run a farm when they can't even pay for a date). Its not just Maine, these 'Farmer wants a wife' types are everywhere! No, Max, you aren't going to quit your marketing job and go live 3 hours out of the city and raise alpaca. Sit down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:30 AM
2

She's so funny!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:24 AM
15

You keep rejecting the idea of not dating, why is that? It's a lot better to be single and lonely than going out on a ton of depressing dates with men that treat you like shit. And make you feel sad anyway. This is going to come across as harsh, but your desperation is evident in this post, and you're going to end up with the absolute worst of men if you try and date like this. You'll keep attracting predators and abusive men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:15 AM
7

And that's completely fair! Posts like this are really good at helping us clarify our boundaries and non-negotiables if nothing else. I'd probably date someone who was otherwise perfect with this room provided it was short term and in service of a bigger goal, but I wouldn't have a committed and exclusive relationship until it was realised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:17 AM
46

Queens, here is your reminder to get an STD check every 6 months if you are sexually active (or more frequently!) People cheat. People don't know their own STD status. People are asymptomatic carriers. If you're having sex, get checked regularly, and take the time to learn what's 'normal' for you in terms of vaginal health, that way you'll be better placed to identify when something isn't right. So many STDs can do a number on your health, not to mention your fertility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:06 AM
76

He wants to take you to a swingers club. They won't let single men in a lot of the time, so basically he figures either you will fuck him, or you'll be the magic key to the magical land of getting having sex with the women there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:57 AM
9

No idea, they disinterest me completely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:46 AM
21

Especially if the towel is clean! Hahahahalolsob
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:44 AM
46

It's a flag for further conversation, I think. If he's living like this because he's in the final push to pay off his student loans or save for a house deposit then that's a completely different situation. I saved the last 15k for my house deposit by living a bare minimum life in a crummy share house, and now I own my own place in a city where a tiny amount of people my age, let alone with a single household income, do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:06 AM
119

I'm probably biased because my city has an out of control housing shortage and unaffordability issue, but my immediate observation was that it's tidy, organised, and the bed is well made (with two pillows! The bar is in hell!). In my 20s this wouldn't necessarily be a red flag, in my 40s however, it's a concerning lack of forward planning and financial stability, regardless of who owns the room...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:53 AM
8

I would put money on you being correct
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:50 PM
11

That's appalling, I'm so sorry. Please speak to your therapist about this. If you're having difficulty starting the conversation, that's OK, you can write it down and take it in to your session! You've got a lot of complex emotions to work through, and your therapist is best placed to help you with that. A good therapist will help you, not judge you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:34 PM
7

The only normal response to finding your bf in your bed fucking another woman is fight or flight. Not to stay, listen to his manioulative bs, and do what he wants. To expand on this a little though - we have three distinct styles of reacting to 'threat', fight/flight, fawn/appease and freeze/collapse. Past experience with trauma plays a part in how you respond, and the amount of threat does too (for example, if your brain perceives the threat as inescapable and life threatening, your nervous sys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:26 PM
3

I stepped in my dog's poop in the small hours of the morning and I'd rather be cleaning that off my slippers than spend a moment with this scumbag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:37 AM
7

I spy some Australian Native flowers! They keep forever, good choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:29 AM
16

I have almost no sexual market value? I guess the cock-avalanche that happens in my DMs every time I set foot in OLD didn't get the memo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:00 AM
3

This is why I love that only about 5% of men understand what my job entails. No expectations of freebies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:31 PM
6

It doesn't have to be a big thing, in my case I tend to meet men via OLD so it's usually something like refusing to go on a date the same week we connect, refusal to give a detail about your life, anything really that checks how he responds to being denied something he wants. In this case I met him because our dogs go to the same dog park. The third time we met, I told him to stop doing a specific thing that was riling her up, but he kept at it, so he lost the chance to date me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:25 PM
12

Failed my 'small no' test (I say no to a small thing to see how he responds, it's a good indicator of how they'll handle a larger rejection).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:12 PM
14

I know it's forum, not handbook, but I struggle a bit with how vicious some of the comments can be. It gets a little bit Mean Girls sometimes. When the rest of the sub is so supportive and encouraging its a bit of a stark contrast. There's a disconnect with some rules for some of those of us who aren't American, I'd love to see a bit more awareness of different cultures and healthy discussion in how to implement an FDS approach that respects the autonomy of women in those cultures rather than ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:00 PM
2

I've seen straight men on Her. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:14 AM
128

Bro got himself fired. I have been fired from exactly zero jobs. My secret? Not harassing clients.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:38 AM
10

I've never had a partner who wasn't wildly enthusiastic about going down. I V-E-T hardcore anyone lucky enough to make it to my sheets 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:34 AM
6

Yes, definitely chat to your service staff (if it isn't going to be a hassle for them) I try and grab a seat at the bar if I'm by myself and the bartenders are approachable. A) keeps me safe from douchebags and B) hospo staff have all the tips for cool places to go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:25 AM
1

I feel super awkward about it, but I go to heaps of stuff by myself. My motivator is that I want to experience all the music and culture and fun and food my city has to offer, and that means making plans to do it alone. If friends want to come along, great! If not, I know I'll be doing something enriching and fun. My tip is a good book for restaurants, bars etc. If I'm feeling super anxious, I pretend I'm an actor playing a calm and confident person, haha. Eventually you realise that not too man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:22 AM
7

My kink is you washing your hair, Gimli
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:14 AM
4

I live in such a multicultural city that it's easier for me to list the men and women I've dated who were from my home country than from other places!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:13 AM
2

Excellent point! It adds to to the fuckery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:52 PM
17

Your job description paired with your username has me scared 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:29 PM
48

Oh, that sucks :( The good news is you'd need to type in the code to activate your account, so it's not linked to the rest of your online presence yet! Ask OnlyFans customer service if they can put a block on your email address, too, in case this loser tries again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:27 PM
8

ESH (except the baby and possibly the new GF). Sister is being a jerk, if she genuinely wanted to help the new GF, she'd take her aside, not broadcast jokes over dinner. That's about point scoring, not helping a fellow woman. He sucks for twelve million very obvious reasons and should be ashamed of who he is as a person. And honestly, that kid is getting old enough to pick up on what's being said. Not the nuance, but definitely the tension and emotion behind it. They're all giant fucking asshole…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:19 PM
2

Unrelated but I love your user name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:08 PM
3

It's self-disposing trash! The future is amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:06 PM
16

Ignoring a 'not interested' just shows how much they really love you! Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:47 PM
5

This internet stranger is proud of you, good job sis ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:45 PM
11

I'm not entirely sure what the aim of this post is. We regularly tell men to create their own spaces to discuss sexual assault of men, instead of hijacking the discussion about the more prevalent assault of women, isn't this what they're doing? Granted, I didn't read the post beyond the heading and the first one, so maybe there's something I missed...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:37 PM
4

Well done!! All your hard work has paid off, now go start that awesome life that's waiting for you 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:19 AM
8

Yes Queen! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:06 PM
12

I've fortunately aged out of the 'blue balls' crowd, it's such a pathetic excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:04 PM
9

If I ever invent time travel, there's going to be a lot of confused future-FDS Queens being told not to put up with mediocre sex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:03 PM
175

Ladies, stop fucking men like this. Like, in the middle of the act. "This isn't working for me, I like it when you xyz". If they won't, get up, put your clothes on, leave, and don't have sex with them again. Advocate for your own sexual pleasure! Stop having sex with men who don't put effort into making you feel good and who aren't invested in your satisfaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:53 AM
4

Oh, they suck. I like to hype myself up by telling myself what a badass I am for looking after my health even though it's shitty and uncomfortable and stressful and sometimes triggering. It's my body and I will take care of it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:47 AM
3

Ahhh, nuance is sometimes hard to get in text, glad we're on the same page :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:57 AM
20

Intersectionalism isn't about men. Originally it was coined to explain the different axes of oppression in the lives of WOC, and has expanded to include ability status, class etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:45 AM
3

Any 'jokes' about the inherent risk to their safety women experience when online dating is an instant 'no'. If I'm in a mood I'll report them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:11 PM
59

Isn't Melbourne currently under a curfew and 'stay at home' order due to the number of cases? This virus can kill you, it's not just a little cold. The audacity of this scrote is unbelievable, and his disregard for your health is NV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:49 AM
35

That's a whole communist party parade of red flags
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:18 AM
3

You can't control the thoughts popping up, but you can stop yourself from indulging in them. Practice a mindfulness meditation, do a short burst of intense exercise, hell go and have a solo session thinking about Henry Cavill dressed as Geralt of Rivia. But don't wallow in your attraction to this bin fire, you're just making it harder for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:05 AM
23

Goth makes a comeback in this dude's vicinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:41 AM
47

June is a big mood tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:39 AM
384

"WhY dOnT wOmeN jUsT SaY nO iNStEAd oF mAkInG up FaKe bOyFriEnds???"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:38 AM
2

I cannot understand that attitude. Love means nothing when the person is treating you like a servant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:35 AM
23

Tbh if she skeedaddles with the pup he'll probably be a better behaved dog away from the current stresses, and they can eat icecream on the couch together and not have to worry about scrotey husband (she says she loves the dog)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:51 PM
8

Girl, that is an awesome job title!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:38 PM
20

Hold firm, sis. Do not give him the satisfaction of a response, any response. If anyone brings it up, say 'it's a painful memory I'd prefer not to discuss'... but honestly, unless you're working with absolute monsters, no one is going to grill you about a miscarriage. Also do you have a therapist? This is one of those times some professional debriefing will be really good for your mental wellbeing. Stay strong ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:36 PM
31

Nah, the dog is innocent in all this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:24 PM
26

Was he high or drunk when he sent that first lot of messages? The hot /cold behaviour is a sign of either someone controlling and manipulative or with emotional problems. Don't subject yourself to this kind of treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:48 AM
27

Do not engage with this dude. If he contacts you somehow, and does this again, call the emergency response team in your country. Its manipulative bullshit, it literally doesn't matter if the attempt is fake or real. Also never go to therapy with an abuser, it just gives them more ammunition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:42 AM
45

He would... Insist she wear her frickin seatbelt!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:10 AM
43

Bring back the guillotine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:55 AM
52

Trauma bonding is very real, sadly. Victims also tend to re-enact trauma and traumatic relationships in a subconscious desire to try and 'change' what happened to them. It's horrific and so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:54 AM
199

That poor woman. Can we stop saying things like 'he lost control', though? He didn't lose control, he knew exactly what he was doing and made a deliberate decision to try and kill her. The article has so many little phrases like this that shift the blame from his deliberate, rational act of horrific violence and his ongoing behaviour as a controlling, violent man. No more excuses for these assholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:14 AM
14

It really is! And it gives tacit consent for men to keep rating us. I saw an interaction along these lines in this sub earlier and it made me so freaking sad. We are complex, wonderful humans, not a subjective calculation based on how fuckable we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:44 AM
13

I wish I could upvote this twice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:40 AM
25

It's gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:32 AM
20

That line stuck with me, too. What's the bet this guy called it 'his house' and held it above their head as a threat?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:29 AM
13

donthavehimintohavetokickhimout :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:49 PM
36

Men who are good at sex are men who communicate, want you to enjoy yourself (and will make the necessary adjustments to make that happen) , and don't have an ego about their sexual performance. Men who are bad at sex are none of these things. Men who are inexperienced can learn, men who are treating you like a sex doll will not. As an aside, don't have sex with selfish men. Don't have sex with men who aren't physically affectionate towards you. Don't have sex with men that show they're more inte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:32 PM
1

Glad to hear this! I've been long horrified at what passes for sex education in a lot of countries, and how that filters down to people's behaviour and understanding of their bodies. My country has pretty good sex ed, and I've done a fair amount of work in consent and female sexual education spaces, so I've been toying with the idea of writing a level up post about sexual health, pleasure and boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:31 AM
20

Oral sex was risque at the time, not this abuse masquerading as sex. (yep, I feel old)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:18 PM
3

^ Me in 30 years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:16 PM
2

Girl, it is easy to leave him. You're just conflating 'easy' with 'painless'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:14 PM
2

Do you worry about what your garbage man does with your trash after you leave it out for collection? Same concept, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:09 PM
30

I am so glad I'm not navigating my first sexual experiences in the current environment. Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:51 AM
56

I'm not a repair shop for malfunctioning men, that's why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:50 AM
6

You weren't being defensive, you were explaining why that particular check - in is healthy for you, and backed it up with actual advice from a psychologist. Your partner sounds supportive and I'm glad you're getting to experience healthy intimacy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:07 PM
3

Look at you thriving out there, Queen! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:41 PM
7

This. Men think their default state is good enough because patriarchy has told them they are owed a supermodel just for existing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:40 PM
18

It's smart and funny (because I'm smart and funny and anyone who can't cope with that isn't worth my time), has some of my hobbies/interests, and doesn't have what I'm looking for or explanations for the kind of dates I'm interested in. That way they have to show their hand first, and I can vet whether they've paid even a modicum of attention to my interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:37 PM
7

I'm confused as to why you are posting this. It's highly unlikely to have happened, it's irrelevant to FDS, and you've not inspired any kind of useful discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:25 PM
5

This is so important. Trauma changes the way you interact with the world. It literally rewires your brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:04 AM
3

I got a pair of those as a present, too! The man was trash, unfortunately, but I cut him out and still have the headphones, so I consider that a win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 05:56 AM
13

LPT: They can't treat you like shit if you block at the first sign of shitty behaviour. We are NOT giving scrotes the time of day any more, ladies, regardless of whether you look like Beyonce or King Kong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:36 AM
5

Don't fall for their nonsense! Keep your wits as sharp as your eyeliner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:24 AM
4

If in doubt, always choose to look like a member of The Cramps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:35 AM
7

I would be the very opposite of mad. I cannot wait to be 60 and dress exclusively in asymmetrical, draped black with a grey pixie cut and sharp-framed eyeglasses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:19 AM
3

I want Rick Owens to dress me for the rest of my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:52 AM
13

I'm in my 40s and still rock a very alternative style. I have coloured hair, a septum ring, and a wardrobe that Morticia's punk little sister would envy. You don't need to sacrifice your individual style for the sake of finding a partner. Would you want a partner who didn't appreciate the music you like, or who didn't want to explore art or culture? I certainly don't!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:49 AM
22

I'm goth-adjacent, and the main thing to look out for in that scene is predatory men. It attracts a LOT of them. Keep your FDS principles front of mind and you'll be OK. There's not a lot of HVM in the goth scene, they think that a bit of eyeliner and a Clan of Xymox teeshirt makes you a catch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:45 AM
5

That's because he paid you an actual compliment ('you always look so elegant' ), he wasn't telling you how his penis feels about you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:59 AM
7

I didn't know I had a sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:55 AM
17

Spent a few years living in Aus, can confirm. It's a pretty bogan thing to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:50 PM
12

Amen, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:46 PM
5

Sis, you did real good. We're all proud of you 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:04 AM
86

Straight women are proof that sexuality isn't a choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:55 AM
7

Sweetheart, it's OK to feel your feelings. It's a big change, (and he's acted like a hurtful jerk) , even though you know you're better off without him. Just don't confuse sadness with actually wanting him back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:54 AM
66

It's like they spend all their character points on their dick game, and leave nothing for anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 05:47 AM
3

Communication, consideration, respect and reciprocation. The rest is up to your personal dynamics and desires!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:44 AM
12

Bands like Ride, Lush, Slowdive, My Bloody Valentine - kinda fuzzy, wall-of-noise indie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:39 AM
19

There are lots of bald/balding men who are well put together and look attractive. They key is they put in effort to their grooming and personal style, but the manbabies aren't ready to acknowledge that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:34 AM
28

What a scumbag. Getting rid of a man like that is equivalent to taking a garbage bag full of rotting fish heads to the outside bin. What a relief!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:28 AM
13

That's such a great point about reciprocity. By offering a series of different enjoyable and intimate experiences, your husband is also showing that he values YOU and doesn't just see you as somewhere to get his rocks off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:25 AM
3

If you dump him you'll lose at least 70kg instantly... Seriously girl, this man is awful. Have some self respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 04:56 AM
26

All countries have Queens like this. Just gotta vote 'em in 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:31 AM
3

That's not overdoing it, he probably didn't know much past 'The Lion, the witch...' and noped out of there before he got caught.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:46 PM
9

It's non-negotiable for me that a partner have a degree of socio-political awareness. So I make sure to drop small checks in conversation, usually by steering it towards problematic and popular books or movies or games, it's a good way to see how they really feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:37 PM
8

When baby has gone to bed, get in and clean up and give her a break!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:22 AM
5

A moment of happy silence for men in eyeliner, please 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:15 AM
27

My hair costs a tonne, it's fashion colour, and my stylist is amazing. Plus I get pampered for the 4 hours I'm there, so Im with you on that! I think there's two issues at play - the cost of male and female services, comparatively, and whether men would pay a commensurate amount to stay groomed. The men I know who are very particular about their grooming would, but your Joe Average would probably make his wife cut it in the kitchen if they were asked to pay salon prices. And I think part of that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:50 AM
56

I am completely unsurprised that our Queens are Queens 👑 👑 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:33 AM
130

They aren't cheap, ours are overpriced. Welcome to the Pink tax.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:30 AM
2

Gorgeous! Your new place looks wonderful, I can just imagine all the great memories you will make there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 09:47 AM
22

An ex and I used to plan free dates when we were broke students. We ended up in a friendly competition to outdo each other with cool, free things to do. It's absolutely possible to have amazing experiences with little money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 11:22 AM
2

Thorin Oakenshield is the only time its acceptable to be under 5ft tall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:45 AM
12

They deserve every mental image they get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:42 AM
23

Im always tempted to reply something along the lines of 'they're kind of a grungy grey with old blood stains on them. I've got my period and it's like Niagara Falls there at the moment. You men should feel lucky to never experience a period shit, too! They're foul!!!' Wanna ask about my lady garden? Buckle up, sonny, it's a wild ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:39 AM
10

And Richard Armitage is gooooorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:35 AM
21

shameallpredators2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:26 PM
327

Of course he's a 40- something dating a 21 year old. She's not that much older than his kids!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 06:27 AM
1

Nope. Just break up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:38 AM
13

This is the dress that poor girl was asking for and he refused. I hope she finds happiness and confidence away from his pathetic ass. (And buys the dress and goes on a bar crawl in it with her besties the moment she can!!!) https://www.torrid.com/product/ivory-lace-inset-sleeveless-mermaid-wedding-dress/12511124.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:29 AM
17

That is too many words and far too big a crime against good graphic design to try and sell me a snake oil penis manual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:15 AM
9

He buried the lede with the whole Wife thing there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:09 AM
2

The class I go to is all women, too. I love love love my time there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:06 AM
11

My yoga teacher does the same. And encourages us to see our time on the mat as an opportunity to celebrate what our bodies can do, whatever it is that day, rather than punish it for what it isn't. Its a nice little break from the constant barrage of negativity about our bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:51 AM
30

You:"why do you think it's appropriate to try and cross a boundary I've clearly stated?" Them, probably: "I'm just joking!" You: "jokes are supposed to be funny though. Explain what's funny about this?" Seriously, call out the exact shitty behaviour and don't back down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:29 AM
6

👑 👑 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:29 PM
37

Exactly! Putting food on your table and a roof over your head is nothing to be ashamed of
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 01:30 PM
11

r/arethestraightsok?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:02 AM
131

There are three options : 1. This is a troll. 2. This man has a mental illness. 3. This man is a furry. I'm going with #1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:53 AM
7

Right? So many positions do not work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:41 AM
37

I dunno. I dated someone for three years who was almost two feet taller than me. You get neck cramps when you kiss them. Holding hands is weird because your arms are on different levels. Sex is awkward in a number of positions. YMMV, of course, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 02:06 AM
2

This is spot on. I play a little bit, mainly puzzle games or ones with really amazing art , but never for more than half an hour or so as a bit of downtime. I dated someone heavily into WoW, and it's a completely different proposition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:49 PM
18

Grossssss Clean fresh sweat, like you get if you're a healthy person who has done some exercise is fine (it can even smell good on your partner because pheromones) , but NO ONE smells good when they're unclean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:37 AM
12

The simple solution is that project managing the house is counted as a chore itself. So if there is 4 hours of house management a week, and 12 hours of cleaning, I do 4 hours of house management plus 4 hours of cleaning and Mr Won't-Grow-Up does 8 hours of cleaning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:06 AM
1

I'd suggest looking into embodied mindfulness, it's a useful practice in managing trauma that helps you reconnect to your physical body. Also therapy. Find a good CBT practitioner, and stick with it. It'll be hard and you'll feel exhausted and possibly worse before you feel better, because it'll be getting to the root cause of your trauma and rewiring thought patterns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:52 AM
27

Girlfriend is probably cuter, too. We should go get manis and discuss how men ain't shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 04:49 AM
40

He's a monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:29 AM
3

I was dating punks and goths in the mid 90s, there was none of this normalisation of extreme violence in sex, and we looked like we'd stepped out of a horror movie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:52 AM
3

The normalisation of bdsm in sex is terrifying. I'm old enough to have had a significant amount of my sexual experiences happen before online porn was widespread, and it is NOT normal that choking, anal, and other rough sex is part of people's everyday sexual repertoire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:49 AM
3

The deleting is sketchy. The power tripping is sketchy. I'd be worried about that. As to the 'I love you', that's going to depend on how affectionate your social group is. Saying 'I love you' to close friends is normal in my social circle. We lost a friend to suicide when we were young, and since then we all say 'I love you' pretty regularly, regardless of gender. It sounds like that's not the case for you, though, and you've already expressed your discomfort with it. There's no fix that doesn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:38 AM
34

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:29 AM
118

Regardless of what you decide, take screenshots of his profile and your chat NOW. Lots of them. With his photos showing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:46 AM
4

WTF did I just watch?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:28 AM
10

So true. I got an earful of abuse on OKC for politely telling a guy i was cancelling a date because he had wildly different political viewpoints (didn't support #metoo, didn't believe in climate change, etc). These are important to me, I'm not going to compromise that for some scrote. Also - bully breeds! I have a couple of staffies and they're the loves of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:18 AM
6

I love kids, but made a decision not to have any of my own. I might adopt in future, or foster, but my country restricts adoption for single parents and age of parents for fostering, so there's a limit on my ability to do that, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 06:41 AM
9

Italian men will fight each other to pay the bill, it's ingrained culturally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 06:26 AM
2

I think he overcame a lot of LV qualities to step up and become a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:55 AM
7

I love how diverse this group is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:53 AM
15

Faramir!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:52 AM
21

That is going to get caught on EVERYTHING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:30 AM
5

Exactly. If he was STILL in therapy it might be different for a woman who isn't a survivor of domestic violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:03 AM
86

It's flavoured rice, Graham, not a ten course degustation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:00 AM
6

Oh my goodness! I wish this sub wasn't risky to post identifying details in because that tattoo sounds amazing and I'd love to see it! Kiki is my favourite, it's like a big warm hug for the soul. She's such a little badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:11 AM
20

Or Studio Ghibli movies. Less rage, more soothing cuteness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:56 AM
27

That is crappy. But I'm proud of you for doing the very crappy thing and taking care of your health. I hope you have some nice icecream and trash TV to curl up with ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 07:30 AM
47

Here is the permission you want: block his stupid ass. He doesn't want to date you, he's reeling you back in whenever he senses you might be moving on. Block block block block block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:43 AM
5

I'm 'cute', short, and have a bunch tattoos, piercings, bright hair etc. Think rockabilly with an edge. Fortunately I don't get approached much, probably because I'm in my 40s and out of these loser's sights, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:00 AM
13

I punched a guy at a bar for pulling the strap of my tank top down to 'look at my tattoo' when I was younger. I'm not your Alternative Barbie, touch me and face the consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 01:55 AM
2

To add to the condom recommendations : lube! Lots of it! It makes sex feel better for everyone, and reduces the likelihood of condom breakages. I'm on the pill for hormone control reasons, but I still use condoms, because double the birth control, and also hormonal birth control will not stop you getting an STD. INSIST ON CONDOMS. Don't even treat it like an option. Have some with you in your purse. Get confident saying 'let's grab a condom before we go any further'. If they push back, don't hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 01:50 AM
34

"I like obtaining nutrients through food, oxygen, water and 8 hours of sleep a night "
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:28 AM
48

Other things that are not hobbies: beards 'all sports' craft beer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:52 AM
12

'Round these parts we support other women, not indulge in misogynistic dog whistling. This is a bunch of presumptive nonsense. Also, condoms are used to prevent STDs as well as pregnancies. If a man offers to have sex raw, you'd better insist on a condom, possibly two, because super gonorrhoea is a thing now and he probably has it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:27 AM
20

Terrible idea. You're not using him for sex/food, you're giving him access to your time and body. We don't eat leftovers out of the bin, and we don't go back to rubbish partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:19 AM
6

Me either! They're just THERE. Maybe they see the gaps in the crowd where we're standing and are intrigued :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 02:50 AM
10

I wish I could find the article about young teen girls tending to have a crush on boys who are slightly more feminine looking because it's a 'safer' way to start exploring crushes and dating. For those of us over 25, pop the names of your early teen crushes into a search engine and revisit what they looked like at the time, I think you might be surprised at what they look like to you now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:27 AM
16

A much more worthy recipient of your time and effort!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:18 AM
5

I love the amount of acknowledgement and support that goes on in the comments of posts. It's such a nurturing and growth-focused environment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:14 AM
56

Is he dating material or just tall with pretty hair: a novel, by me. Somehow my 5ft 3 self seems to mainly attract tall guys (6ft 4 is the average) so the struggle is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:12 AM
6

I recently had to make this choice with a friend I care a lot about. In my case, I decided he'd already demonstrated an unwillingness to change, so instead of engaging, I blocked him on every available communication channel. It hurt, but smacking my head against the brick wall of his stubbornness would have hurt more and been majorly detrimental to me in the long run. Don't forget, saying to someone 'you no longer get access to me or my life' is a clear statement in and of itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:09 AM
42

As a child, did he also wet the bed or set fires? I couldn't look at someone if I found out they liked this depraved stuff, let alone feel any kind of love for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:02 AM
178

Translation: clown honk noises
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 06:59 AM
17

I broke six figures a decade ago, and can I highly recommend picking something you're actually interested in. Well paid jobs are often a lot of time and effort, and if you're doing it just for the $$$, you're going to end up frustrated and hating it. Skip programming and Web development if you're not a math/science kind of person. I'm not from the US, so my reccs might be off, but here jobs like Organisational Development, HR, marketing, advertising might be appropriate. You'll hit 6 figures as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 03:10 AM
9

SIS. YES. I'm proud of you, well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 02:59 AM
1

Tall women in heels are gorgeous and I am here for every glorious inch of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:59 AM
6

That man needs to be on a list somewhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:41 AM
6

I love this energy that young women are bringing to the table now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:39 AM
7

Women looking after other women is my favourite thing ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:05 AM
8

My profile is engaging and has multiple instances of conversation starters in it. I don't bother responding to anything that isn't a reasonably crafted, and personal, response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:00 AM
35

That would have been super cute! It's a thoughtful proposal tailored specifically to their relationship, and backed up by real world action.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:18 PM
8

That's an option too, thanks for suggesting it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:49 AM
10

I get what you're trying to say, but 'only fuck women until you find a HVM' is pretty dismissive to the legitimacy of wlw relationships. I hope I've misread your phrasing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:22 AM
65

Well, there goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:34 AM
20

I WILL NEVER NOT BE ANGRY ABOUT THAT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:01 AM
28

I call my dog 'buddy', it's not a nickname for a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:10 AM
61

She may be using it to cut down on her potential exposure to COVID19, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:07 AM
7

Girl, tell them! "that's such a great skirt/shirt/haircut!" said in passing with a smile will make their day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:45 PM
36

The hilarious thing is that women ALWAYS end up being the one with more offers when the guy wants to open up their relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:36 AM
4

I have a number of male friends because I hold them accountable and vet them the same way I would a partner. HVMs make good and reliable friends, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:31 AM
2

There's good advice already, I'd add - find things you enjoy. Clothing should be fun and make you feel good, not just the things that are most flattering for your body type. Set yourself up a pinterest or instagram and save pictures of outfits that spark your interest, you'll start to see a trend in what catches your eye. You can start slow by getting more adult versions of what you already have, too. There's a big difference between the cut of a nice silk tee and a man's cotton one. A blazer ov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:38 AM
1

Not having a car in my city isn't a deal breaker. I've only owned one in the last 4 years or so because my city has excellent public transport, high insurance costs, and not a lot of parking. The US seems to be very car-centric, not everywhere will be, so I don't think you can make a blanket statement about it being a LV or HV trait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:25 AM
6

This times a million. No man cares about the ridiculous faces he makes during sex, why should women be more concerned with crafting a perfect visual titillation than getting to relax and enjoy sex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:32 AM
55

Probably just mad he doesn't have enough left to dye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:28 AM
16

I know more about kink than I'd like (I was friends with a couple of dominatrixes back in my wild and foolish youth) and the fact he's gaslighting her about it makes me so mad. He's the one who's wildly inexperienced with breath play, he took no precautions that happen in those circumstances to prevent exactly this thing happening - someone losing consciousness and not being able to stop their partner. I'm betting he knew she'd passed out tbh, that's what got him off. He's doubly a piece of shit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 08:14 AM
25

A healthy compromise is one where both partners freely agree to the decision, and where both end up 'winning' - ie neither is significantly worse off or disadvantaged because of the compromise made.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:16 AM
12

Buy it. Display it on the night stand. Tell him he's on notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:56 AM
13

I don't 'let' my partners do anything - it's not the right way to look at it. If it's a deal breaker, tell him, if he continues to follow them, then enforce your boundary and break up with him. Don't set a boundary you're not 100% willing to enforce, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 08:44 AM
7

They're also not babies, they're embryos or fetuses, depending on the stage of pregnancy at termination.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:41 PM
16

Nah, just don't have TRASH male friends. Vet your friendships like you do your potential relationships. HVM aren't just for dating, they also make good friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:36 PM
18

I really appreciate the variety of world views this sub provides!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:31 PM
3

Rosie for sure, after Rosie the Riveter!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:14 PM
3

I'm glad someone else names their roomba!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:40 AM
2

Oh, I know the feeling, and it took a lot of therapy to undo (shout out to CBT, in the hands of a competent therapist it's lifechanging). My 'positive behaviours' list help me weed out genuine discomfort and something being wrong from the ghosts of assholes past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:37 AM
5

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Yes, this is sexual coercion, and it's ugly and leaves you feeling confused and awful. You've been abused by someone you were supposed to be able to trust, who used your existing intimacy and closeness to manipulate you into doing what he wanted, against your consent, and who then turned the blame back on you through gaslighting. No wonder you're feeling like shit. Here's the thing, he can be perfect outside of the bedroom, but if he disrespects your agency and your consent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:20 AM
17

I'm so sorry sis. You are not stupid OR week. You are a survivor of an awful attack by a terrible man and right now your brain is in overdrive trying to protect you from it happening again. 4 months is barely any time at all, please speak to a rape support service in your country and organise some therapy if you haven't already. You deserve to heal from this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:13 AM
10

This is one of those times that I think advice is going to be really specific to your culture/location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:58 AM
41

I'm possibly going to tank my Karma, but here goes: I think it's a red flag if anyone doesn't have friends of the gender they're attracted to. The whole 'my boyfriend can't have female friends', and vice versa, attitude is really strange to me, and it's not part of the culture in my country at all. It's implying the only thing we want from people of the gender we're attracted to is sex/romance, and that's such a limiting way of looking at interpersonal relationships. I have multiple multi-decade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:09 AM
11

If you're 'disgusted' he's had male partners, then move on, regardless of anything else under consideration. You're not compatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:28 AM
3

So many men don't care about enthusiastic and ongoing consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:06 AM
3

Women-only spaces are critical to our mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:44 PM
26

What do you do? You tell him he's welcome to try. I'm going to let you in on a secret: I got just as much dick when I was 'fat' as when I was thin. Possibly more. There is a guy out there who will treat you like his queen rather that something he's settling for. Dump this jerk. Him doing the bare minimum for being a human being isn't noteworthy. Go to therapy so you can understand you are a person worthy of love and respect. Then and only then go and date and find someone who will treasure you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:06 AM
8

I love my career, but outside of that: (these will be generic because creeps are going to creep). I make art to encourage myself to see beyond my usual perspective. I practice a striking sport to stay fit and enjoy the power and control of my body. I spend time with my pet (and my family when I'm not in lockdown) nurturing that caring, loving side of me. I experiment with cooking for the joy of discovery and learning (and science!) . I'm a huge fan of music, so spend a lot of time tracking down …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:57 AM
8

This stranger is so damn proud of you. I know how much effort that took, and sis, you did so good. You are the realisation of your ancestor's wildest dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:34 AM
2

So you agree, you think you're really clever? [blonde hair flip]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:15 AM
4

You can't always control your feelings, but you can control your hands. Let yourself feel sad and lonely and miss him, explore those feelings if it helps... BUT go do something else while you feel that way, preferably away from your devices. Bake, cry, make some art, dance to a song you love, throw pillows at your couch. Anything that gives you an outlet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:03 PM
70

Amen. (And your LVM while you're at it)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:34 AM
32

It's boring, and tells you what they value most. I don't care if I make your penis happy, I do care if you have something positive to contribute to a conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:37 AM
13

I'll date about 10 years younger and 5 years older (I'm in my 40s). There's exceptions to that rule, Im mainly looking at their interests, hobbies and willingness to explore a range of life experiences. Dating outside of that age range tends to not give me that - they either can't afford nice weekends away or think a live music gig is too loud/keeps them up past their bedtime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:35 AM
4

The great thing about square one is how many opportunities lie ahead. It's hard what you feel like he's the only support you have, but you can find new support people, trust me. Even in this time of lockdowns, there are so many supportive communities (you're posting in one right now!) to turn to. Your gut is telling you not to do this. Listen to it please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:27 AM
5

I tend to say 'why, what's wrong with being a woman in her forties?' and watch them try and rationalise away their ageism vs their boner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 05:23 AM
15

Men regularly accuse me of lying about my age (it starts with a 4, they don't believe me). Nah son, you just don't understand the wonders of skincare, good hydration, and being an unproblematic human. I'm part of a subculture with a fairly specific style for both men and women, so the men tend to look a little bit more polished. But your average man on OLD puts zero effort in, and it shows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:26 PM
8

He's a NVM who doesn't even like you except for the control he has over you. How many red flags do you need before you get out? Here's some more so you hopefully reach your count :🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Now the good news! You have a loving, supportive family. You don't have a job, so you aren't tied to where you live. Throw the entire man away, go live with your fam til you're back on your feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:18 PM
7

And he's washing his pastels together rather than with a red teeshirt. Extra blessed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:08 PM
2

I guess it depends where she lives, how long he's been there, and tenant laws. If he's been living there a while he's most likely considered a tenant and she'd have to evict him. Long term yes, you're right, but right now I think she needs to get somewhere safe so she can figure out what to do in the longer term. I'm afraid her trying to kick him out right now will make him more violent, even murderous .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:57 PM
64

Your crown, your Majesty : 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:31 AM
50

Ignore men for a sec. You deserve to have wonderful experiences regardless of your weight. Go to parties, travel, swim at the beach, pat someones cute dog. Life is short and there's a lot of tough parts, so embrace the joy when you can find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:30 AM
54

Sis, he put his hands on you. You need to leave him, because he will do it again, and it will escalats. He disrespects you. He cheats on you. He hits you. And he says all of this is your fault. It's gaslighting nonsense from an abuser. You need to get somewhere safe. This might be a hotel. This might mean travelling to friends or family. This might be calling the cops and getting him arrested. Please call one of the domestic violence services in your area, and remember that that when a woman tri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:23 AM
11

I'm a little bit in love with her, not gonna lie. Look how much fun she's having! Him I'm ignoring, he's not worth the eye movement regardless of whether it's a staged video or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:33 AM
53

Look, she should just talk to him about it. Via her divorce lawyer, and then the police officer she gives her statement to when they charge him with cruelty to animals. I'm so tired of the 'but we've been together x years!' argument. So what? Yes, leaving someone you love is shitty. Yes, it sucks to separate two intertwined lives. It HURTS. You know what else hurts? The hip of that poor little dog. And the bruises and breaks this psychopath will give her and her baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:27 AM
3

Im so sorry that was the experience you had when you tried to get justice. You were very brave to report it, and your bravery and strength has helped prevent this evil man from having even more victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 08:06 AM
10

I love this, but can we hold dads accountable for their shitty role modelling too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:30 PM
128

I said it in my post, but go to the hospital. Please. You can die after an unsuccessful strangulation attempt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:10 PM
114

Two things before I get into the support stuff : You can die AFTER an attempted strangulation. Please get to an emergency room or a doctor. This should be the highest priority on your list right now, and be honest with them about the abuse. Attempted strangulation is a precursor to murder. He will try and kill you eventually. And when women leave abusive partners is THE MOST dangerous time for them. Please, please be safe. That said, sis, you know what you need to do. Get you and you kids out of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:07 PM
5

Yeah, I'd probably have gotten both my entire feet tattooed with pictures of hands flipping him off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:55 AM
4

I've been pretty drunk before and guess how many times I've peed in public? That's right, zero, because I'm not disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 09:34 AM
8

What in the bangmaid mommy-issues hell is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 09:02 AM
3

Have a skype date. Covid 19 is not something to fuck around with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:08 AM
1

I wonder if she's addicted to the endorphin /adrenaline rush?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:05 AM
6

I think we need to bring back ‘intentionality’ to sex I think this is a great way of putting it. I had a lot of sex when i was younger, now Im waiting for a relationship with the right level of trust, commitment and respect for my current mental and emotional state. That level of trust /commitment might be too high for some, too low for others, but its right for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:46 AM
63

This warmed my heart. And note that it's a photo of her in old age - the woman he had a lifetime of shared memories with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:31 AM
1

I had a little cry reading this. Thanks PMS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:53 AM
12

That must have been a living nightmare, I'm so glad your daughter was OK. And i hope your ex's dick rots off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:50 AM
13

I thimk I'd rather one focusing on badass, positive or kind stuff that women do. Right now theres so much ugly going in in the world :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:39 AM
5

Are you sure they were spiders? Cupboard moth larvae make webs too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:33 AM
7

Non-fancy jars for throwing, fancy jars for drinking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:31 AM
63

Yep, she's definitely making up for all the orgasms this loser didn't give her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:52 AM
52

I wish there was a way we could send her all our fanciest jars from all over the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:34 AM
33

Im guessing he means she has perfectly normal labia minora and majora, rather than the surgically altered vulvas he is used to watching in porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 07:57 AM
12

Please also note theres no mention of lube to try and help her enjoy sex more and stop her from tearing. How much do you want to bet that he's one of those guys that see lube as an insult to his manhood?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:12 AM
13

I like flirty/risque texting in a commited relationship. Not constantly, and never in an obscene way, and never photos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:43 AM
6

Can confirm. I have worked my butt off in a good job that sees regular pay increases (im over 6 figures to give you an idea of the kind of pay bracket) and Im a killer budgeter; I could lose my job tomorrow and be fine for a year with mimimal change to my lifestyle. The only time ive not had finances be an issue was when my partner earned the same or more than me, and even then they would get a bit funny about my savings habit. Financial security and capacity is awesome. Get on board or get out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:49 AM
6

This is sketchy as hell. I have a 3 year old nephew and he wont talk to his dad on a video call for more than 3 minutes, tops, before he gets distracted or loses interest. My money is on it being the ex, or a completely new girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:31 AM
18

This is the classic 'he's an arsehole to everyone but me! I'm special!' trap. He sounds very controlling - a HVM is considerate to everyone, not just the people he can get something from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:59 AM
3

When men hit walls or break plates or other objects they're saying 'this could be you if you don't act right.' violence next to you is a step away from violence at you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 08:44 AM
7

You're the MVP of this pandemic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:40 AM
5

Translucent powder under the foundation? Huh, never thought to try that! I've always put it on top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 06:06 AM
1

Another way of looking at it: His personal relationships don't preclude him from being good at his job. It's harsh, but he doesn't need to be a good husband to get America through this. Now if this was a 'be a functional adult' pandemic it'd be another story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:33 AM
2

That's a valid observation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:00 AM
2

Caveat: I'm not from the US, so the news we get about him is curated and I'm sure only tells one side of the story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:29 AM
3

I'm torn on this one. If he did this every day, then yep, in the bin with him. But I can see how he might get dangerously distracted trying to keep a pandemic from decimating the US. The article phrases it as her reminding him he needs to look after himself, not just the country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:19 AM
2

You deserve to be happy and healthy. You can do this :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:25 AM
8

I'm going to gently suggest that the way you're feeling now is related to the trauma and harm your ex caused you. So many of your words are reflecting the textbook emotional abuse messages that abusive partners instill in us. You're angry and frightened and lashing out, so nothing we can say to you is going to help. If we agree, you'll see it as validation of you losing your value as you age. If we disagree, you'll see it as an attack. Stick with your therapy. Heal. Find balance in yourself. Tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:00 AM
23

First, and this is important - you do not deserve the awful way this predator treated you. Hon, this is way above Reddit's pay grade. You really should speak to a therapist about this - this man abused and manipulated you. The people that should have protected you, didn't. And you shouldn't forgive him, he was a predator and manipulator who took advantage of his seniority and power to abuse a child (that isn't a comment on your capability or maturity, just your age.) Going back to him, while not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:11 AM
43

No, you've never caught him saying shit like this before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:58 AM
2

It is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:10 PM
2

Ive heard approximately 10% of the songs mentioned. Where's my walking stick?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:09 PM
3

My profiles were disabled a while ago, but when I had them, I was unapologetically me. I'm a big personality IRL with some niche hobbies, and I'm not interested in dating anyone who is going to dim my shine, so to speak. I had no shortage of attempts to connect, and went on some very nice dates. Girl, you don't want to date someone who gets intimidated by the fact you have a graduate degree or is not going to love your drive in your career. You really don't. Be confident about your passions. If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:58 PM
35

My heart breaks for that poor mother, and now her heartbroken daughter. My cat leaves things in the litterbox that are less disgusting than the OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 06:06 AM
52

100%. Family member went through chemo, best believe we all went unscented everything until they recovered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 06:04 AM
6

They've obviously put a lot of time and effort into creating a specific atmosphere, I quite like it. If he treated it like a 'man cave' - somewhere to escape the 'nagging wife' - then sure, big red flag. But I don't think it's LV to have somewhere nice to socialise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:58 AM
4

I would have a room like this in my house, it looks like my favourite cocktail bar!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:56 AM
3

Sit with your feelings. Explore them. Dig right down into them, even the awkward squirmy ones. Figure out what part is your financial insecurity anxiety, and what part is a reasonable economic worry. I'm a super practical person, and I would be concerned about a major purchase while COVID-19 is going on. This is going to have some pretty major economic impacts, and we can't forsee what they will all be. That said, you know your partner, we don't. Is he smart with his money? If so, you can trust …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:25 AM
8

Honesty don't. You don't need to bear witness to the suffering these evil men put her through. I heard a podcast about it recently and had nightmares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 03:27 PM
6

This is the future we need, nay, deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:47 AM
9

Not Ukrainian, but poor Mediterranean stock. My government said to prepare a couple of weeks of food. My cupboard already contains the shelf-stable staples needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:37 AM
31

And write a 500 word short essay on how to engage said spots. Any mention of 'writing the alphabet' is an instant rejection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:32 AM
4

I live by myself too, and we're doing voluntary isolation here. Even though it's better than being with Awful McLoser, don't underestimate how hard isolation can be ❤️ Keep in contact with your network, talk to friends online, social connectivity is important while physically distancing yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:29 AM
30

TIL I'm a HVM ;) But seriously, this kind of consideration and community responsibility is A+. The next couple of months are going to sort the wheat from the chaff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:26 AM
1

My country is encouraging self-isolation because of COVID-19, and tbh I'm inclined to stay indoors forever after reading this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 08:43 AM
13

Boss, I think you meant 'boss', right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:55 AM
40

Jesus H Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:50 AM
23

Block him sis. You won't get through to him in any real way. The alternative is to make a post about grooming and tag him and his wife in it, but you might prefer the non-nuclear option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 10:51 AM
16

I'm from a non-US/UK country, and one if the biggest cultural differences I notice (through the lens of Reddit, granted) is the idea that men and women can't be platonic friends. My theory is that when you're brought up in a culture that says 'men never have platonic intentions' it becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men are taught the only way to view women is through a sexual or romantic lense, and so thats the only way they see them. Which is a long winded way of saying 'I think they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:46 AM
287

I'm over 40. They keep going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:09 AM
5

There is a higher percentage of dudes getting to critical/fatal levels! They don't know why at this stage either. (source is the Science vs podcast, they'll have their studies etc linked)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:01 AM
13

I think my cat made better arguments in her litter tray. Appreciating an attractive person is normal and natural. Acting on that attraction is where it can become problematic. Let's be real - we don't know if the dude leering at us is going to leave it there, or if we need to start looking for a safe and quick exit. Being on guard all the time is EXHAUSTING, and that's without the situation being compounded by previous trauma or assault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:50 AM
17

That is so disgusting, I'm sorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:46 AM
14

No, don't get a goat! Get two, they're herd animals, so happier and healthier with a goat playmate. This sounds like a great dream, and I hope you achieve it soon ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:06 AM
15

What a selfish arsehole her husband is. And she's going to stick by him of course. Side note: Does middle class mean something different in the US? Being one emergency away from homelessness and your parents paying for school supplies wouldnt be seen as middle class in my country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:23 AM
3

I think its about dressing for the occasion, and being comfortable in what you're wearing. I never have my nails done because I do a fighting sport and an art that needs short nails, but my hair is always cut and dyed nicely, my clothes fit well, and I have my own unique sense of personal style.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:07 AM
15

Congratulations, you are a unicorn. Yes, what's happening to you is so common that there's a name for it. A unicorn is a bi female sex toy, used by a couple, to spice up or fix or enhance their relationship. You'll never have an equal relationship, you'll never get rights, and you'll never see your needs met unless they align with the couple's needs. Even poly people hate these kinds of couples. Dump them both. Grow your self respect. Stop chasing the scraps they throw at you, you deserve a whol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:07 PM
17

I only just squeak in at forty, still a lot of this rings true to me. I still have some levelling up to do (it's a life-long process!) , but I have the whole career, home ownership/financial stability, self care on lock. I think it'd also be beneficial to have clear examples of being a queen at different life stages, and a flair would help with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:25 PM
6

Great advice, it's such a pity we need to be this careful though :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 11:25 AM
1

I feel genuinely sorry for these dudes that think dating is the only way to have support, companionship, connection and love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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