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Neither-Impress4810 Archive

View 6 posts and 52 comments by Neither-Impress4810 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I hear ya. It’s not easy at all. My emotions were taking hit after hit early on. I had to do something different or I would have given up in round 1. You need to start playing tricks with your mind. Look up grey rock. Think about your ultimate outcome. That nirvana you want. Take time to visualize it. Take note of how it makes you feel. Do this daily. At some point, you will come to realize that all these things that she brings up are trivial. Just noise that can be overcome. I know it’s not eas…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 05:44 PM
6

It really aches me reading this. When I first told her about getting divorced, and wanting it to be amicable, I was so foolish to think and expect that it would be reciprocated. That she would want to divorce amicably. I would rationalize it “we can agree together, we can give and take together, etc”. Wow, reality hit me like a brick wall. Almost instantly. “Things will not end amicably” is what I recall her saying to me. And time after time, I would see it playing out exactly as she described. …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 05:22 PM
2

You too! I know each of our situations are unique to us, but know that you are not alone. All the best to you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 02:38 PM
3

Gosh, I woke up this morning and smiled. I had total peace till I heard her get up and get her coffee. My circumstance is slightly different - I avoid any verbal communication with her if I can help it. Still in the same household till settlement is reached. But I rewired my mind. Every day I wake up, I count my blessings. I will make this day an amazing day, regardless of the crap I see coming my way from her, or any mood swings which I know happen frequently with her. My brother, zoom out and …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 02:08 PM
1

All the best to you, my friend. You need it more than me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 07:32 PM
3

I am very happy for you. That is indeed a great situation to be in, especially if you have kids. Do everything you can to maintain it, even after the divorce,
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 05:19 PM
3

For the most part, you are correct. Our court hearing is later this year. Way before I am considering moving out. I am not interested in the house. The key is the custody schedule.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 04:26 PM
3

4 years????? More power to you, my friend. You are way more patient…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:58 PM
3

Indeed, the 2-face is very obvious with my STBX. Its blatant. Even the kids see it sometimes. I have college age kids, so they are more perceptive and recognize BS.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:57 PM
2

Wow, sometimes I feel “lucky” to have the issues that I have. I know others go through far worse situations than mine,
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:54 PM
2

Thanks. Appreciate your view.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:53 PM
3

I see. Unfortunately, that is not an option here as she refuses to agree to anything like that. I do see the light at the end of this tunnel, though.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:51 PM
2

“Act like a rock”. Firm advice. Even this experience of cohabitating has taught me many lessons..
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:50 PM
5

Not even that. She doesn’t even exist to me when we end up in the same part of the house accidentally. I immediately go elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:48 PM
3

Same issue as well. Lots of yelling and finger pointing. Hence the decision to stop verbal communication.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:46 PM
3

Indeed, here in my state, it is also one year. We have been legally separated for 14 months now. Divorce should be final sometime next year. Just have to wait on a custody schedule agreement before I move out. Until then, I have to live with the current scenario.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:45 PM
2

Well, I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom, and I’m ok with that because I know it is temporary. I’m curious about the separation agreement. I don’t believe I am aware of what it would do. Can you please provide more details?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:29 PM
2

Thanks. This is helpful. She indeed is high conflict with opposition mode. Hearing is coming up in a few months.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:27 PM
2

Good catch. I filed last year. Hoping to move out the end of this year.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:25 PM
1

One of the things I’ve accepted is for a woman, it’s about survival. Thus, there is a greater focus on money and material things. I went through a process of letting go. Anything material is not worth fighting for unless it is of sentimental value to you. Everything material can be made up. I’ve accepted that there is a price to pay as a male in a divorce process. At the end of the day, I’m not taking anything with me when I pass. Believe me, that mindset has given me so much peace now. As someo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 10:42 PM
5

You have received some really good advice from others on this post. A wise man once told me…the longer you wait on the train to get off, the longer the journey back. Look to see where the next station is and plan everything you can until then.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 02:07 PM
1

I’m surprised she is doing that; actions like that could be used by your attorney. I have been legally separated for over a year now, and still living in the same house. She has been delaying the process as much as she could. I was initially frustrated with that but since have realized not to sweat that. In the end, I will have my peace. In the meantime, I avoid her and any communication with her at all costs. I have learnt that opposition mode displaces any rational thought. I always expect it …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 11:35 PM
1

So, very high-conflict divorce here..I drafted one that she rejected. Then everything after that through the attorney. Realized afterwards it is a phenomenon called opposition mode. You say the sky is blue, she says the sky is yellow. Go through an attorney anytime you have a high-conflict case.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 09:59 AM
11

In my experience, any of that behavior is just an act. Unless she had some out of this world spiritual experience, it is pure manipulation. There is an agenda. Go under the hood and you’ll find it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:14 PM
3

Almost in a similar boat as yours. Process is being unnecessarily dragged out by her. Waiting till the kids go to college in the fall to cancel subscriptions like peacock Netflix SiriusXM etc. a few more months and peace at last.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 09:12 AM
1

Let it go, man. This is not a movie. Nothing good will come out of it. You need to ask yourself why you have this itch when everything points to focusing on the present, not the past. It is a flaw in you that you need to address to become a better version of you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 09:59 AM
4

My goodness how much this post resonated with me. Every point. The system was not built to ensure equality. Anyone claiming otherwise is just giving lip service. Are there rare instances where males get fair treatment? Sure. They are the exceptions, though. What hits a chord stronger - a female claiming someone is a bully and a controller, or a male claiming the same? For a male being accused of this, he is guilty. Period. Even for a stay at home mother, whose husband works crazy hours, which in…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:22 PM
3

I know whatever I write will not lessen the pain you are experiencing today. I am at a different stage than you (with older kids), and experiencing quite unique challenges compared to what you conveyed. And that’s my first point. As I read your post, there were instances where I felt I would trade where you are with you in a heartbeat. And I suspect others would as well. You are further along than you think. I give you much credit for what you seem to have accomplished in this process. Something…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 09:34 AM
9

I think many men who post here about their divorce or contemplation wish they had time machines. I would sign my soul away to the devil if I could go back 25 years. I’ve come to the realization that being stuck in that mindset does more harm than good. Refocusing to the present time and realizing that I am just a paycheck to her was eye-opening. Asking her what she brought to the relationship and how she helped nurture it, and the crickets I heard after that, violently shook me to my core. Imagi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 08:43 AM
8

Whoever claims that the system is fair and just for dads/males is either lying to their teeth or out of touch with reality. I even heard it from my lawyer that “females getting preferential treatment during divorce” is a myth. Well, everything I have seen so far in the process points to the opposite. I can’t recall how many times I was bringing forward things to my attorney to show I am acting in good faith and with full transparency, only to be informed that it didn’t matter. Even when followin…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 10:24 AM
1

It’s ironic reading this. I am in the exact same situation, except I am the one asking for communication to go through the lawyers. From the beginning when I first filed, she switched to opposition mode. I had to cut off any direct communication since nothing got accomplished. But she has been dragging the situation on for over a year with additional demands for discovery. After pushing it a bit, we now have a court date in a few months. I posted a few days ago about the “poison in the atmospher…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 07:14 PM
4

Ensure you have a plan to make that up post divorce. And be discreet about your plans. If her lawyers get a whiff that you could be earning more in the future, look out. At the end of the day, the peace, freedom, and happiness you will gain back are priceless. Spend that time wisely with your kids and with yourself. I can tell you from experience now - lamenting the money you lost will put you in a challenging spiral. Putting that in your rear view mirror and focusing on the road ahead will libe…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:32 PM
1

Thank you. It is tough as hell to manage this cohabitation, though. Yesterday I celebrated 189 days of peace. 27 weeks since I made probably the best decision I have made in years - to disconnect completely. Not so spite her or take revenge on her. That was never the intent. Rather, it was to end the emotional manipulation and hijacking I was being subjected to year after year, without realizing it. It happened spontaneously, and though I was concerned how I could make it work without any detrim…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 09:54 AM
1

Indeed, I pay all the utility bills. But those are considered monthly household expenses. The tax bills are categorized slightly differently as joint liabilities due to a marital asset (the house).
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 09:42 AM
1

Indeed. And she is stipulating that I shouldn’t use the joint account without her consent, and I am stipulating that she can’t use the post-separation funds without my consent. Even though it feels like a stalemate, I think I may what you did and just pay it myself. Just to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 10:10 AM
1

Tax bills prior to separation were paid from joint funds. She was not working for many years until this past month.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 07:53 PM
1

Fortunately, no loans and no mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 07:51 PM
1

Thank you! Just another test in life..
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 09:16 AM
6

It’s so easy for a woman to label a man as a narcissist, a bully, or a dictator. Society accepts that. When the same behavior is practiced the other way round, men are not taken seriously then. As I am going through this divorce, I am keeping mental notes of women I should avoid if/when I start dating. If I hear those descriptions, I will literally get up and leave. Other than my kids, my peace is paramount.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 02:39 PM
1

Become a grey rock. No emotion. Just plain vanilla. No reaction, absolutely no sign of weakness, no outward expression of any feeling whatsoever. Get a small stone from outside and gaze at it. Imagine what it would be like to be that stone. That’s exactly how you should act while going through this process. Anything else can trigger her, and may be used as leverage against you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 10:38 PM
1

Exactly what I have been doing now. Take note of all incidents, screenshots of texts, and record when you believe it is a material interaction of she is turning up the emotional rhetoric, or even getting violent.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:09 PM
1

Indeed, I am experiencing this rollercoaster now…mostly the lows. And during those lows, I have asked myself why I feel exhausted and so disgusted with this arduous and unfair process. What I am realizing is that it is not about losing out financially, or the length of alimony, or not being in my house, or anything like that. Rather, I am coming to grips with my challenge with patience. You see, I just want this over with. I can’t stand being in the same house as her (I have to until settlement,…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:33 AM
4

Congrats, Brother! Where you are now is something that many many other divorcing men are longing to be. Yours truly included. Keep posting your experiences; I think you will inspire others to continue their journey, even if they can’t yet see the light at the end of their tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 11:50 PM
1

It may get worse before it gets better…maybe a little reverse psychology helps? At least you prep yourself for the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:12 PM
1

Hopefully things work out, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:32 PM
1

I tried to do things amicably in the beginning. I naively thought that could work. It backfired spectacularly. She was against the divorce and immediately switched on her alter ego. Accused me of being a bully and a dictator for asking to follow the process. Now it is evident that this contract was purely transactional for her. A man’s loyalty to a woman has limited value, and can turn to a liability on a dime. I do like the idea of a massage, though….
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:31 PM
1

Thank you! This helps a lot. It’s our innate desire for instant gratification that I am working on overcoming. That is, I want it to end and I want it to end now. I know what peace and quiet taste like and that’s the danger in this. I wish I can just switch it off for a while…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:26 PM
1

I may do that. I am speaking with a new attorney next week. If I feel comfortable with him, may pull the trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:20 PM
1

Thank you, my friend. Glad that you are on the right path in the journey. There are days I wake up with a smile on my face, only for it to disappear once reality hits…the process is not over..it’s just starting..But then I see my kids and, for those few precious minutes, the smile is back. I will try to give therapy a shot, but may shy away from any meds.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:19 PM
1

Thank you for your comments. Indeed you are correct - regaining peace is the reward I can see at the end of this very dark tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:16 PM
2

I’m 6 months in from filing. Things have turned nasty now and I noticed a complete loss of appetite just within the past few days. It is good (for my mental health) to know other men have experienced this as well.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:44 AM
2

Hi there, I just posted my first post describing a situation not too dissimilar from yours, except I am going through the legal process now. Indeed, you wrote many things that resonated with me. I went through the agony of having to decide one way or the other. It came down to one question for me: do I believe I will be better off alone than with her? The answer was crystal clear. A no brainer. After one incident backfired where I was trying to do the right thing (after I had filed), my lawyer a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:14 AM
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