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NilesGuy Archive

View 0 posts and 168 comments by NilesGuy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Sounds like a form of legal separation you might be interested in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 10:41 AM
3

Take him out as much as possible . Whether it’s the gym , park , restaurant, movies ..keep him busy .
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 09:19 PM
8

It’s a common legal strategy women use . Go to court fight the EPO. She needs proof to substantiate her claims. If not the EOP will be dropped or not extended. You will also need to fight for custody and ask judge for child to return to their home for the sake of stability and not be removed. It’s best you settle this asap and be creative on reaching a solution weather it be custody or financial because divorce is extremely expensive and traumatic. Only winners are the lawyers. Do not engage in …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 06:31 PM
5

OP consider then legal separation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:34 AM
3

eBay
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 04:48 PM
5

Dude make your own journal and record how she records everything you do along with her annoying behaviors. Then let her accidentally see it
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:51 PM
1

OP the fact that she kept the note and is distant with you makes me feel she’s having an emotional affair . Thus that would explain her pondering separation. I’d continue giving effort in your relationship & hope that you two can reach a level of opening up as to how she truly feels. Worse case scenario is she’ll admit to her feelings of possibility wanting separation and will act on it. Best case scenario is she’ll admit to it but changed her mind because things are different now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 12:25 PM
3

OP I’ve seen more and more of these types of situation of women filing after 20+ years of marriage. Almost as if it’s strategic in order to claim half of everything including lifetime support. Regardless, she played her part & you were in a manipulationship. Best thing to do is offer the bare minimum as legally required which is half and that’s it . You want to exit out as quickly as possible for your family & yours sake. The best revenge is rebuilding your life and making sure that you moved on…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 05:56 PM
9

OP the greatest payback is her seeing you rebuild yourself without a care for her whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 01:20 AM
6

OP I’d start separating your finances and take out anything you consider valuable from property like your financial docs, computer, etc etc just in case she tries to take them . Then the next step have your lawyer file for divorce but do not serve her yet. The next time she argues or discusses separation present her a fair marital settlement agreement drafted up between you & your attorney. Let her know that having her not served yet is a courtesy to her & wanted to allow her time to process eve…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 09:37 PM
10

OP I’ve seen this before & it’s over. She probably doesn’t want to spring divorce on you yet because she’s still figuring things out or wants time for you to adjust to the new reality that the both of you are no longer a couple. Forget about being a good husband because no matter what you do for her it won’t matter. She’s already made up her mind. In the meantime be the best dad you can be & focus on your kids. You also want to consult with a divorce attorney to know your rights & what the laws …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 09:21 PM
3

OP if divorce isn’t an option for you , legal separation might be an option. You could still live together & coparent together but officially you’re separated. Atleast it will give you time for both of you to decide what to do next .
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 03:50 PM
1

Best dam advice I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:21 PM
6

OP you need to go to trial on this . I strongly recommend if possible to seek a different judge . You are legally entitled to alimony especially with income differences. You are also entitled to half of her retirement. Was in a similar situation in which the female judge sided with ex on certain rulings . Told my lawyer to delay , delay , delay and ask for extension or new dates until we finally got a male judge who went against her. What kind of defense did your lawyer put up in pre-trial? If y…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:50 AM
2

OP the love is over . You’re in war & survival mode . You are legally entitled to half. Since she is the bread winner , you are legally entitled to full alimony , half of all property /assets, child support , half of her retirement etc. Let her have her divorce but it will cost her . You can still coparent but live separate lives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 09:16 PM
14

OP I’d demand full alimony from her since she makes more money from you & if any assets are to be evenly distributed, that too requires any debt incurred during the marriage she should be responsible for. If she’s making more money than you there’s a good chance her job offers 401k to which you’re entitled to as well. If there is custody involved 50/50 do not wave child support you are legally entitled to. Since she makes more money she’ll have to pay you. Stop being Mr nice guy OP. You’re at wa…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:53 AM
15

OP definitely get a lawyer & demand half . Half of her 401k, request alimony. She should compensate you for your pet that she wants & she should be responsible for half of all marital debt along with reimbursement of money taken out of bank accounts. Do not back down . Remind her the courts at minimum will grant you half of everything. If she fights it, it will cost her more since lawyers are expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 09:07 PM
14

So she wants to continue using you OP. Legal separation allows her to continue being on your insurance, be on the hook for her financial situation , continue build equity in the home and greater share to your retirement & alimony if continue staying together. Screw that , file , get a judges order to sell the property with date, separate your finances and be done with her. Hopefully, you can reach a fair marital settlement agreement quickly since lawyers are expensive
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:41 PM
13

Mediation is the biggest waste of time & money . Exit out of it and reject it. The absolute worst a judge would give is half of everything. Have your lawyer reject the offer , continue negotiating with her attorney. If they refuse to budge set a date for pre-trial and if still refuse, trial date . Again you’ll walk away with a much better offer from the judge than insulting 6.8 offer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:13 PM
7

Sounds like you dodged the bullet with that crazy gal. You might be interested in easyoptouts.com to clear your name in internet.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 04:55 AM
1

Depending upon the state you live in, you might be considered legally married if cohabitation. Regardless, you’ll still need to meet with a lawyer in regards to custody .
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 03:10 PM
1

What is this & take control of the situation . OP you made first mistake of leaving your own home. You are legally entitled to stay there. It doesn’t matter how your ex feels . She has no say whatsoever. A judge will look at the fact of you leaving as if abandoning your family . You need to move back, file for divorce and let her know she has two options . Either reach an amicable martial settlement agreement (divide everything 50/50 including custody or fight it out which will financially ruin …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 02:51 PM
2

So instead of your ex taking the time to heal , to process the end of her marriage & reflecting her role . She jumped into another relationship and found God supposedly will end up in another failed relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:27 PM
3

CS depending on state and country is based upon both parents income and custody time. If your friends ex op makes more than your friend and have joint shared custody, she might be the one ending up paying him child support
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 07:36 PM
1

OP you and your ex are in control not the lawyers. If you are in speaking terms reach out to her and inform her you agree to let her keep the house and refinance. It doesn’t matter whether she can afford it or not . It’s not your concern anymore . If you can settle everything, you can ask court for extension because an agreement is within reach . It’s cheaper to avoid court hearing and settle than battling it out in court and letting a judge and lawyers make the decisions. Once you reach agreeme…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 09:46 PM
4

Advice to all get an iron clad prenup or cohabitation agreement
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 09:40 PM
3

No don’t pay ….settle up on your end when the property is sold . Do nothing until there is a court order . You have your own living expenses to consider. But definitely get a lawyer to represent your best interest and make sure you are not being taken advantage of .
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 01:34 PM
3

In Missouri, child support is generally required until a child turns 18 years old. However, under Missouri law, support can continue until age 21 in certain situations. The main statute is Missouri Revised Statutes § 452.340. Key rules: Ends at 18 if the child has graduated high school and is not continuing education. If the child is still in high school at 18, support continues until graduation or age 21, whichever comes first. If the child enrolls in college, vocational school, or higher educa…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:27 PM
5

OP consult an attorney…but to be honest he’ll tell you regardless of fault it will be 50/50 division of all assets . Depending on your incomes one might have to pay alimony (usually higher income). Hopefully, you can have 50/50 custody . To be frank , the trust is broken . Who knows how many times she’s cheated or been with other people. You can’t continue on like this . I know this is a complete shock and don’t want to break up the family. But that’s already happened by her actions. She threw i…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:18 PM
2

WTH OP take 50/50 and get your alimony , child support and half of everything ( property, 401k etc) that you are legally entitled too. Make sure that also includes paying your attorney fees. Fair is fair and don’t settle for anything less
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 03:16 AM
5

You are going to have to qualify for the mortgage if you want the house in your name only assuming both of you are on the loan. If your name was the only one on the loan you could do a quit claim deed. It is cheaper to do it on your own . However , I’d hire an attorney to atleast draft up the marital settlement agreement and then both of you review , sign , notarized and file in court. This way no mistakes are made
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 03:56 PM
1

This doesn’t sound like an isolated incident but that she’s done this before in some capacity. You are going to have to deal with the aftermath. You could file a restraining order and get temporary custody of your child . But if you’re going that route you’d might as well file for divorce or legal separation which could buy you time to figure out things . Frankly, your situation doesn’t seem salvageable. It’s only going to escalate worse, especially as her and her family will want you to drop th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:12 AM
8

Just keep in mind OP, a husband will sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his family & marriage. Whereas , a wife will sacrifice her marriage, & family for the sake of her own delusional happiness. She is only loyal to her feelings and once that expires , so does the relationship and will cut you off cold. It doesn’t matter how much time you spent together or all the great things you did for her. Her reality is broken and so is she . No sense grieving over a manipulationship. Her love was…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 03:39 PM
14

Men will do anything to save their families including sacrificing their own happiness. Whereas women will do anything to sacrifice their own marriage and family for the sake of their delusional happiness. No sense grieving OP or looking for answers as to why . Focus on yourself and being the best dad you can be for your children sake.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 12:44 PM
3

OP you will need multiple appraisals for your property to present to the courts .
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 06:59 PM
3

No sense grieving or missing over a fake person who pretended all this time and wasn’t real . Manipulationships don’t deserve anything
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:22 AM
2

I feel your pain and numbness OP. Consider talking to divorce attorney just to know your state laws and where you stand legally . If this is an option you are considering be prepared to lose your home and see your kids part time which usually happens in a divorce not to mention the financial implications. I can promise you this, staying with her ain’t going to get better. Ask me how I know . She’s building up resentment and it’s going to get to a point she’ll lash out either filing for divorce f…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:20 AM
2

OP possible consider separation . You guys can live together, coparent together, live together but not be necessarily together. She can live her life and you without any expectations from one another. Atleast financially this would make sense. Think of it as being business partners as an option.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 02:41 PM
5

DONT DO THIS AGAIN OP! Talk about red flags. Go ahead and date her but don’t marry her. You have no obligation nor responsibility to her nor her problems. Marriage is about building together a foundation. If you do marry her you’ll be the only one contributing as she’s the one taking . That’s not a healthy relationship to build upon. Now if she’s able to overcome her obstacles and get it together that’s great but it’s her responsibility not yours. If you do move forward with marriage get a PRENU…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 05:16 PM
2

OP start off by keeping yourself busy. Hit the gym, be outdoors in nature . Pick up a hobby , keep busy with work . Time does heal all wounds . You might want to consider therapy just someone to talk to and share your feelings . Become the best version of yourself for your son’s sake because at the end of the day he still needs a dad
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 03:14 PM
2

OP what do you mean she has zero assets ? She has half of all your assets and wealth as a result of you not following through with prenup . She’s not working for the past decade which means not only will she get half of everything but be prepared to pay alimony for almost remaining years of your life depending upon your state law .
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 07:32 PM
3

You can get a divorce but still live together. This keeps family together, avoids disruption for children and allows both parties to save and recover financially until they are ready to move on. It also allows equity to build up which benefits both
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 10:00 PM
3

What’s next ? I’d discuss with her parting ways and that you hope to reach an amicable agreement. You can file in court but with hold serving her hoping to reach that amicable settlement which by the way is cheaper than all out litigation. This will give both of you time to reach that agreement. However, If she refuses then serve her to start the clock which means court proceedings and lawyer fees . However, since you indicated she has lots of stuff it would be in her best interests to settle . …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 12:11 AM
6

She makes more than you ? Time to claim alimony & if you get 50/50 custody depending on your state laws she’ll end up paying you child support because her income is greater than yours .
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 10:24 PM
4

OP I feel for your loss & pain. May I suggest you seek therapy for yourself and help overcome your grief and loss. Because in reality your relationship is over. However, you want to be the best version of yourself for your daughter’s sake. I’d consult with an attorney and discuss separation or divorce with her and try to reach amicable agreement that avoids trauma and costly litigation. In the meantime , focus on yourself. Working out , hitting gym, nature walks , reading good book or spending t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:00 PM
1

OP first checkout ChatGPT and other AI models just to give you an idea what your state laws says and process of divorce. Meet with attorney using knowledge gained from research and file . You’ll need a retainer probably around $5k range. You could ask for lifetime alimony depending on length of marriage & state laws says. Divide up everything equally assets/debts/401k etc. You definitely want shared 50/50 custody and since she’s the breadwinner she might end up having to pay you ( since her inco…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 11:58 PM
1

Dude what is this ? You’re complaining about dodging a bullet ? You just admitted she was abusive , manipulative and hurtful . You can’t build a house on a quick sand foundation located on an earthquake prone street! You were in a manipulationship and should be grateful you got out young . You can rebuild easily and find someone who will appreciate you . Now that’s the person to build a family & life with . Use this time to improve yourself and be the best version of yourself you can be .
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 09:32 PM
4

OP you have to be strategic and cut your emotions off. You are in survival mode . I’d reach out to your soon to be ex and discuss the consequences of not reaching an agreement. Meaning two lawyers will bankrupt the both of you . In addition if she refuses joint shared custody , the courts will approve a GAL attorney to represent your kids interest which both of you will split the costs. Now there are 3 lawyers involved probably charging around $3-400 an hour . The only winners are the lawyers. A…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 07:14 PM
5

OP FYI depending on your state even premarital property if there is an increase in equity or value might be subject to your ex claiming half of that increase . If she contributed to mortgage or fix up of property , she might also be entitled to half of increased value . That’s why you get a prenup , post nup to protect your assets even premarital ones. Speak to your lawyer and find out what your state laws says
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 06:38 PM
5

OP you give an inch they’ll take a mile. Never be nice but treat her as a business transaction.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 06:35 PM
1

What are you thinking ? First DO NOT move out during separation/divorce. A judge will look as if you abandoned your marriage which can work against you. The property should be sold asap and you claim your equal share of equity that you are legally entitled to . You also fight for equal shared custody & split debts/accounts . She also has to get a full time job to contributing supporting her children. Once these major issues are addressed, than start looking for a new place . Hopefully, you guys …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 10:55 AM
1

FYI…even though she purchased the property before you met, legally you are entitled to half of appreciated value of property. Unless you signed a prenup waving such interest , you are entitled to portion of property. Especially if you contributed to mortgage , repairs or improvements made.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 10:07 PM
9

My guy you can bet she’s telling everyone your crazy and violent . As everyone is suggesting…Get your lawyer in place , file for restraining order (because of her violent behavior) , file police report (document everything damage done /threats made via pictures, texts etc) , separate all finances and accounts asap. She is right about the insurance though. You can’t cut her insurance/medical off until everything is finalized. I do want to point out if you can both reach an amicable agreement the …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:04 AM
3

OP get multiple appraisals for the court.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 06:12 PM
3

OP you know deep down inside what you must do. I’d probably suggest time away from her, in order to give both of you time to process everything. Then reach an amicable agreement because divorce and getting lawyers involved is extremely expensive especially if she’s filled with hurt feelings. Keep in mind the longer you stay, the more costly it will be.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 09:51 PM
3

Congrats! A prenup would’ve avoided this that specifically dealt with future appreciation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 03:30 PM
7

OP it’s time you become a passport bro to fulfill your dreams. But it’s not going to be with your soon to be ex. You were in a manipulationship and now that she’s finished using you , it’s over . No sense grieving over a person who wasn’t real
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 09:44 PM
12

Mutual respect? OP she cheated on you and recklessly broke up your family . There is no mutual respect on her side. You were in a manipulationship and it’s over. No sense grieving over a person who wasn’t real. Ignore her and proceed with your divorce
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 11:54 AM
7

OP I promise you this will all blow up in her face ! She never took the time to heal , to process the end of her marriage, nor self reflected . Instead she avoided all the self improvement and jumped straight into another relationship. To make matters worse getting pregnant and financially committing herself buy purchasing a home . It was a total rush rush rush without thinking . It kind of reminds me of that reality show lady Christina Hack from HGTV flip or flop. She did the exact same thing w…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 11:29 PM
5

Log in to credit bureau to freeze your credit , then report fraud and dispute all transactions. File a police report .
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 02:24 AM
28

Men marry for marriage and companionship. Whereas women marry based on their emotions & feelings. As soon as those feelings wear off and gone , so are you. You’ll get the total blame and gaslighting begins.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:13 AM
3

Guys enter into manipulationships . In the eyes of women they know it’s not real thereby making it easy for them to destroy you and walk away without remorse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:15 AM
3

Your credit possibly is already damaged . You need to contact whoever holds the loan & discuss payment options. Legally you are responsible for the loan . That’s what you agreed to when you placed your name on the loan . Anything is possible in a divorce agreement. However why would she agree to being responsible for the debts unless your willing to offer her something in exchange in marital settlement agreement
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:39 PM
7

Do NOT move out of the house OP. A judge will look down upon you as if you abandoned your family . The result , your ex could demand (depending on state law) alimony, child support and make you pay the house bills during divorce proceedings. She has no legal authority to force you to leave , it’s your place too. Unless, she pulls a stunt claiming domestic violence and gets an order of protection to force you out of the house (which can happen). Stay , file first and negotiate with her directly. …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 12:56 PM
3

What you need to do is file first and have her served. Then reach out to her to reach a fair settlement agreement in order to keep costs down. If not , lawyer fees, court costs , possible GAL fees will crush both of you. Hopefully, that will be an incentive enough to reach agreement quickly
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 05:27 PM
1

Negotiate with her directly first. Agree to walk away with each party responsible for their debts , wave alimony and walk away with personal property. Then hire an attorney to file & draft up marital settlement agreement. Have her sign and notarized. This is the cheapest safest option . Worse case scenario you might have to offer her something (money ) in exchange to wave temporary alimony depending on your state laws. Or you’ll pay temporary alimony. Regardless, she’s going to have to work
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:31 PM
1

Start off with OP negotiating directly with her with provision everyone walks away cleanly.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 04:09 AM
8

Absolutely NOT OP! Child support is calculated based upon overnight stays with the parent. She is basically proposing 100% custody with full child support. No lawyer representing you will agree to this . Not to mention you taking care of kids majority time during day and evening . She’s like a rental parent . What responsibility is she taking ? Play hard ball and let her know her being unreasonable will cost everyone financially
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 10:41 PM
2

OP if you are able to reach an agreement with her first, it can be financially reasonable. First talk to her and see if you can negotiate a positive outcome for both sides. You don’t need to sell property right away. You can divorce and still live together until both sides are financially situated and until your youngest leaves house. Many couples do this post divorce. Once you’ve reached agreement hire an attorney to draft up marital settlement agreement. If this is down quickly with no going b…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 08:07 PM
26

A man will sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his marriage and family. Whereas a women will sacrifice her own marriage and family for the sake of her own delusional happiness. Only thing a women is loyal to is her feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:56 PM
1

OP my suggestion is negotiate with her directly. Put aside hurt feelings and remind her that going through courts is extremely expensive and will drain both of you. Best option is negotiate directly with her. Shared 50/50 custody , divide up assets and debts equally and move on. Have your attorney draft up a marital settlement agreement to have her sign & notarized. Be fair in the agreement because taking a hard position and not willing to be flexible will end up costing you. You can communicate…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:36 PM
7

OP ask yourself can you live with her as a roommate? If everything else is great between you then it’s a tough decision. But if she’s completely cut you off, distant or cold and doesn’t want to spend time together than you’re still young enough to start over and let her go. In my situation she cut me off completely, so it was an easy decision to make .
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 09:55 PM
2

Allowing her to stay home and not work especially with no kids is going to be the sticking point. I’d ask her directly what does she want & present to her a fair creative marital agreement. For example, both of you post divorce can still live together for certain period of time and it would be cost free for her. In this way you could avoid paying alimony until she gets herself situated. Regardless, of what settlement agreement is mutual you’ll need an attorney to draft it up. So hire one , get t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:28 PM
2

OP depending on state law if you both have shared custody she’ll end up paying you cs because her income is substantially higher than yours. In addition, seek alimony for maximum duration allowed which usually depends on length of marriage. All assets/debts most likely will be divided equally between the two . And yes the courts are ruthless depending upon the judge which tend to be biased in favor of women . That’s why it’s best to put one’s feelings aside and present to her a fair marital agre…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 08:12 AM
2

File first OP since the ball will be in your court & have your lawyer and draft up a fair marital agreement with shared 50/50 custody to present to her. The quicker you get her to sign the cheaper it will be for both of you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 07:12 PM
2

This is supposed to be still your honey money phase and you’re already calling it quits? That’s a big signal that this union is not destined to last. The longer you stay the more financially it might cost you. Stop the idea of having kids because it will not fix the relationship but instead exasperate it. See a lawyer and offer her a fair marital agreement and walk away. You’re still very young to rebuild your life and find the right partner to share your life with .
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:51 PM
1

OP what about coming up with creative marital agreement such as still living together and sharing bills until both parties are better financially situated.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 08:24 PM
11

A women will sacrifice her marriage and family for the sake of her feelings and version of happiness. Whereas a man would sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his children and marriage. Stay strong brother and make sure you fight for equal custody. Get a lawyer and be creative in finding an amicable quick marital settlement agreement for the sake of saving money from lawyer fees and for your family sake
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 08:17 PM
4

You need to counter that if she’s going to demand more cs that you’ll demand from her to find a job that pays more because she’s not living to her fullest earning potential. The courts don’t care about the other person feeling stressed & want both parties reaching their fullest earning potential for the benefit of the child.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 05:21 PM
2

This is business / survival mode. Allowing one’s emotions will blow up any chance of reaching a fair amicable agreement. It’s bad enough going through a divorce. Why sabotage one’s future because of feelings. Go grey rock, be professional and get the agreement done.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 11:17 PM
33

OP you ain’t alone . A man would sacrifice his happiness for the sake of his children & marriage. Whereas a women would sacrifice her children and marriage for the sake of her emotions and twisted happiness . It even doesn’t matter if one were a millionaire, they’ll find whatever excuse to justify leaving you and gaslight everyone to believe in her messed up reality
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 07:51 PM
1

Correct …no alimony no maintenance whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:24 PM
9

OP dont feel bad about her financially struggling if you divorce because the reality of the situation is you will continue to support her post divorce through alimony for several years depending on your state laws. Start separating your finances asap, start consulting with attorneys, even take a look at chat gpt to give you an idea. You might want to present her with a creative fair settlement offer with clause to allow her to stay in your house and you continue to pay bills for set period of ti…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:03 PM
3

DO NOT MOVE OUT. It will look as if you are abandoning your spouse and kids. Stay in the home until everything is resolved. On a financial level you might be made to pay child support, the mortgage , temporary maintenance along with your own bills.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 12:32 PM
3

When she said this did she ask you to take out the trash ? 😉
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:23 PM
1

You can get them for free online ..but I heavily recommend you seek attorney to draft one up. The fee could be as high as $500-800 depending on your lawyer/state. Shop around
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 08:29 PM
3

That’s why you buy property before marriage and ALWAYS get a prenup. It saved my a$$
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:09 AM
1

She’s not the problem OP but your lack of decisions are. Separate your finances . Open up a separate account and transfer your money into it . Remove her from your credit cards immediately. Reduce your 401K contributions and use it to start saving for a lawyer retainer fees. There are red flags everywhere & this is heading towards divorce. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s holding out for 20 plus years to maximize her divorce claims on you and assets. Depending on the state you live, the longer y…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:09 PM
9

OP the blame lays totally with you. You moved out and expected her to move out before the divorce as she’s living their rent free? She’s legally entitled to live there and so are you. Who cares about her excuses or medical conditions . Finalize the divorce. A judge will order the house to be sold and for her to leave before closing and any equity divided . Remove her from any accounts and separate your finances immediately. Cut her off once and for all & let the lawyers & judge finish this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 01:48 PM
8

Never marry without a prenup and never live with anyone without a cohabitation agreement. The prenup literally saved my a$$. Consider this over 70% of divorces are filed by women . The odds are statistically against us
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:42 AM
1

You can’t have a relationship if you are the only one invested into it. Ask her point blank if she wants to separate or end things . You’ve only been married a little while and considered to be newly weds. It’s only going to get worse if this isn’t handled immediately. If she refuses therapy or to compromise you’ll need to exit out and seek a divorce unless you’re willing to live like this forever.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:28 AM
3

OP look into your state laws to see if any grounds for annulment since you’ve been married short period . If not , consult with an attorney, draft up a fair settlement agreement & calmly present it to her. Since you’ve been married for only short period hopefully there’ll be nothing to argue about (no maintenance, no splitting of personal assets such as 401k, each responsible for own debts etc). I’d wait til after the divorce is finalized, to then let her know you are aware of everything but onl…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:33 PM
6

She cheats on you and you think you’re the one who owes her ? OP first become familiar with your state laws in divorce (use ChatGPT), then consult with an attorney. Draw up with your lawyer a fair settlement agreement and have your lawyer file the divorce at court house. Let her know it’s best you guys part ways but want to coparent and split amicably. Present her the settlement and negotiate with her directly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:03 PM
5

OP start to familiarize divorce laws in your state with chatgpt, then consult with attorney . When your ready draw up a fair settlement agreement with joint 50/50 custody. File the paperwork in court & present her the agreement. Let her know calmly its best for the both to part ways. Hopefully, she’ll be willing to negotiate with you directly to keep cost down since using lawyers are extremely expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 10:11 PM
9

It was NEVER about you OP. It was about satisfying her feelings . You could’ve been a millionaire and gave her a lavish lifestyle and she still would’ve found some reason to justify ending things. A man will sacrifice his feelings for his family. Whereas a woman would sacrifice her family & marriage for her feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:04 PM
7

Prenup agreement saved my a$$. Never enter into a relationship without one including cohabitation agreement if you decide to just live together.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 10:19 PM
4

Credit score & lack of relationship with her father . These two alone scream red flag 🚩 & should run away from like an std
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 01:35 AM
3

OP an option is to get an agreed upon material settlement agreement without having to hire attorneys or battling it out. You could also cohabitate together post divorce for the meantime, raise your child together and be roommates. Until both of you are financially situated. In this way , you could circumvent maintenance and cs.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 11:24 PM
9

Present her a marital settlement agreement that’s fair to keep the divorce cost down. Your marriage has been over for a while & in reality was a manipulationship .
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 01:10 AM
3

Grieving is a normal process and first step towards healing and rebuilding your life OP.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 12:35 AM
2

Considering your making excuses for her and contemplating giving her another chance after burning bridges with you is irresponsible on your part. What you had with her was a manipulationship. Walk away and cut your losses.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:55 PM
4

OP you are considering or giving a second chance to a person who put you through hell by making false accusations and evicted you from your own home? Take a good look into a mirror cuz you’ll see who has the personality disorder is staring right back at you for even thinking about it. Cut her off from your life, block her and work on yourself on being the best version you can be for your kids sake
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:30 PM
11

Sounds like she wanted to visit the other side of green grass and realized it ain’t so green after all & is having some doubts about her decision. Regardless, her true colors were revealed and if given the chance would throw you under the bus again. There’s no sense grieving over a manipulationship.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:22 PM
2

OP I’d first be strategic about everything. Do little research on ChatGPT about divorce laws and what you’re entitled to in your state & consult with an attorney. Separate your finances asap and change any beneficiaries. File the paperwork but to avoid costly court battles, try to negotiate directly with her in order to avoid stress, anxiety and expensive lawyer fees of going back and forth with negotiations.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 12:16 PM
3

You might want to double check since all 50 states allow some form of alimony or spousal maintenance .
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:55 AM
2

Since she wants her freedom teach her the new vocab word of the day …”HALF”. Half of her 401k, half of equity of house & any other assets. Half of her 401k, bank accounts etc etc. And since you are unemployed …”alimony” is another vocab word she needs to be familiar with that you are legally entitled too. It’s time to focus on rebuilding your life and be the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 02:56 AM
1

OP it’s fortify the mind time. Then turn your emotions off and enter into survival and business transaction mode. She’s not your wife and judging the way you described her she never was nor intended to become one . You were in a transactional relationship, a manipulationship at best. You give everything and she takes everything. That’s not a loving healthy marriage. No sense grieving over a person who isn’t real nor her love for you. Negotiate with her directly to reach an amicable settlement ag…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:41 AM
12

She went off to live on the other side of the green grass realizing it ain’t so green after all. In other words, she’s realized she’s better off with you after trying everything on the menu. You weren’t her first choice or option . For if you were, she’d never had left you. You were in a manipulationship and she’s continuing playing with your mind & heart. Block her , let her go and work on yourself on being the best version of you as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:28 AM
3

OP try to keep things amicable and negotiate directly with her to avoid costly back and forth lawyer fees. You’ll save a ton of money and stress .
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 03:48 PM
3

Screw the separation agreement and get an attorney OP to demand half of everything you are legally entitled to. She owes you alimony, half equity for house regardless if your name was on the title , she’s responsible for half of your tax debt and any other debts, along with splitting of other accounts and assets equally. She’s manipulating you all over again . Use ChatGPT to give you an idea for Canadian divorce and see an attorney asap.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 01:37 PM
3

Is she has a solid relationship with her dad and pull her credit score . Two major indicators of reliability and mental stability.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 01:32 PM
1

When you file OP if she’s violent or abusive consider filing with restraining order to protect yourself. Another option to consider is filing annulment under fraudulent grounds and be done with her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 12:31 PM
3

The longer you stay the more pain and suffering you’ll experience as you see her being distant and one day wanting to be with another person. You can coparent together without having to be together. But if divorce is the final route , be strategic & separate your finances & discuss with her making the split amicable and smooth if that’s even possible.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:32 AM
3

File and file asap. The longer you stay , the more it will cost you financially. Be strategic . You can still avoid all the court room drama and expensive litigation between lawyers. After filing, negotiate with her directly to reach an agreement. Be creative & flexible in finding solutions & have your lawyer draw up the settlement agreement. You could still live together and coparent until your children finish school.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:26 AM
6

Brother I feel you . We put everything into our marriage. It was as if it became a part of our identity and who we are as a person. But you said something that was an eye opener. You tried making her happy as if it was your purpose in life and now that she’s gone , now what ? But you can never make another person truly happy . It comes from within . It’s now time to focus on yourself, your own happiness and be the best version of yourself you can be. Be grateful you are free from the lie. You we…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:43 AM
2

Don’t feel guilty since she is a hot mess. You can’t build a house on a quick sand foundation located on an earthquake prone street. Focus on making better decisions and being the best version of yourself
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 08:31 PM
13

It’s as if we are in the Twilight Zone. Everything turned upside down. Good is evil & evil is good. Who knew we’d all end up in a manipulationship that busted us out as soon as their feelings ran dry.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:17 PM
5

She’s recently divorced and is now pregnant and planning to get married? She spent no time reflecting upon her mistakes nor to process why her marriage ended. She literally threw herself into an un winnable position . Just as you predicted she’ll end up in matter of years divorced again but with a child. You my friend dodged a bullet and should focus on rebuilding your life and being the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 02:36 AM
5

Stop being mr nice guy by paying for her stuff . It’s over and you need to treat this as a business transaction. Take look at ChatGPT for divorce to give you an idea in your state before speaking to an attorney. Try to negotiate directly with her since it’s a lot cheaper than having the lawyers get involved. Remove her from all financial accounts & separate your finances. Get back in the house since it’s part of your property. Be flexible and creative when it comes to reaching a settlement. But …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 02:30 AM
2

Now it makes sense as to what you feel. The affair basically killed off your feelings for her and in survival mode. OP you need to be strategic . Check out chatgpt about divorce laws etc and then see a lawyer. File for divorce quickly to get your file into the court system. The longer you technically stay married the worse off you’ll be financially speaking. Then negotiate with her directly to avoid costly back and forth lawyer fees which will cost both of you. Try to be creative in reaching a f…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 12:05 PM
3

Separate your finances . Make sure she’s working and contributing to household expenses. Sell any assets. Don’t make any large purchases or investments. Consult with lawyer and know your state laws in regards to alimony , child support , asset divisions etc . You could use ChatGPT to give you an idea. Finally , when the time comes directly negotiate with her in order to avoid costly back and forth lawyer costly fees. Once you reach an agreement have your lawyer draw up the marital settlement agr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 12:17 AM
1

With this economy of rising housing prices, interest rates …I say keep the house and do a makeover / renovation. Have fun with it and erase those memories with your creativity
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 12:11 AM
4

Op take my advice , file divorce now just to get it into the system . Then you can avoid actual court action by negotiating directly with her. Consider offering her paying all expenses to cohabitate after the divorce so she lives for free until she finishes her education and is ready to relocate. In exchange for drastically reduced alimony and number of years. She’s able to work and earn a living once she’s finished with her schooling . But to demand 40% for 20 years is insane .
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 12:09 AM
4

Why grieve over fake love OP? She wasn’t real nor was her feelings for you. You were in a manipulationship and now are free to rebuild your life. Find someone who will appreciate you but don’t get married .
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:55 AM
5

You are in a manipulationship OP!!! Wake up, get an attorney and take her for your half that you are legally entitled to. Once she gets what she wants , you will be erased from her life .
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:34 AM
12

Let your ex know what is she offering in exchange for your share of the house ? Her 401k, other assets etc? She’s gaslighting you OP. You were in a manipulationship my guy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:05 AM
10

OP get your a&& back in the house. Legally she can’t kick you out . If she refuses you entry call the police and maybe file restraining order to prevent her from further abuse . She might have to flip the bill for your attorney fees and pay some form of temporary alimony to you until you get situated. Remember if she wants out , it will cost her half . Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 10:55 PM
2

OP there had to been red flags that you missed . Regardless, why grieve over someone who’s love wasn’t real nor who they are . Anyone willing to abandon a long term relationship with no mercy , no legitimate reason doesn’t deserve your love nor respect. Ask yourself would you have wanted this to happen in your 50s or 60s or now that you’re still young ? You have time to rebuild your life and start over . Take advantage of the situation to remake yourself . Remember your relationship with her doe…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 07:11 PM
4

Why do you grieve over a person who’s love wasn’t real. Whose true colors are shown . You fell in love with the person she pretended to be and is no more. One doesn’t shed a tear for fake love. Make peace with yourself and enjoy the second chance of happiness
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 12:31 AM
3

OP I feel for you and we’ve all been through the fire. Men will do anything to keep their families together even to the point of sacrificing ones happiness. Whereas women will sacrifice their family for their own happiness. It’s a twisted reality. Take it day by day . Enjoy the gift of life such as watching a good movie , go outside and be in nature , exercise (hit the gym), spend time with family / friends. Seek counseling to make you not only a better person but the best dad you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 04:02 PM
6

OP just a suggestion. Take charge and negotiate directly with your ex. Be flexible and creative when coming up with a solution to splitting finances. In this way you save time, stress , and money from attorney fees . Having the lawyers go back and forth is expensive for both parties. Once you come up with agreement have the lawyers finalized written agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 08:41 PM
10

OP you are extremely young and have plenty of time to rebuild your life and actually find someone that will appreciate you. Listen to the wisdom being given by commenters . File your divorce and let her go. You were in a manipulationship. No sense grieving over someone whose love wasn’t real.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 08:37 PM
2

No ! Absolutely NO! Once you give in , she’ll expect more and more .
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 07:18 PM
2

Welcome to the world of cognitive dissonance
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:04 AM
9

If she’s truly being verbally abusive , get a restraining order & move back to the house. That will not only strengthen your position in divorce & custody but grant you temporary peace until both sides can reach agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 12:18 PM
4

Laws are twisted . To force people who are no longer married to support the other spouse and continue enjoying the benefits (financially) of marriage without having to be a spouse (intimacy) is outrageous. Congrats
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 11:42 AM
2

OP, You see men will sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of their family . Whereas women will sacrifice their family for the sake of her own happiness or twisted reality. It will take you a while to realize you were in a manipulationship. She wasn’t real (her love) therefore no sense wasting energy, feelings or emotions grieving over a person that was fake towards you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:36 PM
2

You could do a swap . For example you keep the house and equity in exchange for part of your 401K. Or take out a life insurance policy that equals to amount of equity due to her and make her the beneficiary.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:34 PM
25

OP I’m beyond anger more like disappointment and indifference . Not even a beautiful family she wanted to save. You see men will sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of their family . Whereas women will sacrifice their family for the sake of her own happiness or twisted reality. It will take you a while to realize you were in a manipulationship. She wasn’t real therefore no sense wasting energy, feelings or emotions grieving over a person that wasn’t real.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 09:56 AM
1

OP the best way is to negotiate directly with your ex. Be flexible and creative when negotiating with her. Split everything equally . Then once everything is agreed upon , hire an attorney to draft the agreement up, sign and you’re done . What really makes things worse is fighting over everything and allowing emotions to get in the way of sound judgment. All one is doing is making the lawyers rich and you poor.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:03 PM
1

Negotiate directly with her every detail . Then get a lawyer to draft the settlement agreement. It will save you major money , stress and anxiety. Be prepared to be flexible and creative when finding a solution
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 02:19 AM
6

No rush …don’t even think about it. Use the time to heal , find yourself , reflect and enjoy the gift of life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 02:04 AM
9

She’s mind f@ing you. You were in a manipulationship and no sense getting upset over a person who wasn’t real
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:34 PM
6

Any women willing to through away a beautiful family , marriage and commitment wasn’t real or genuine. You were in a manipulationship and there’s no sense grieving over a person whose love wasn’t real or conditional. Focus on being the best dad you can be and make life about your priorities not hers
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:31 PM
12

Why not just live together and get a cohabitation agreement ? It’s safer and you get piece of mind
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:27 PM
7

You my friend were in a manipulationship. No sense in grieving over someone that wasn’t real .
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:32 PM
5

No sense grieving over a person who wasn’t real nor loved you. Sounds like you were in a manipulationship. Get a good therapist , find a good lawyer and cut your losses. Hopefully you can work out a fair settlement agreement that avoids court. Allow yourself time to heal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 05:10 PM
8

Caring is what got me into this mess
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 10:47 PM
1

Create irrevocable trusts to transfer assets to it . Get a postnuptial agreement to settle all matters. Finally no commingling of assets & accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 10:02 PM
2

OP I know exactly how you feel. My suggestion is to find a good therapist for yourself . Enjoy me time such as working out , going outdoors , hanging out with family or friends etc….keeping yourself busy. You can’t change her mind that’s a fact . Might as well lawyer up and immediately present her with 50/50 shared custody and division of assets/debt agreement. This will save both of you time, money , stress and trauma. DO NOT MOVE OUT! You are legally entitled to stay despite what she or her la…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 02:14 PM
4

OP I’m very sorry and yes your entering a new chapter in your life. My suggestion is to lawyer up and present to her a fair agreement in order to avoid costly lawyer fees & trauma to your children . You are entitled to spousal support and seek joint 50/50 custody which depending on your state she might have to pay you . Sell any property/ assets and divide equally. Finally start therapy , exercise , hang out with friends and spend time outdoors . Focus on healing yourself . There’s nothing you c…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 12:35 PM
17

She wanting the divorce comes with consequences. You are legally entitled to half of everything incurred during your marriage. The house , 401k, other assets . Plus if she makes more than you , alimony you are entitled too. That is what’s called a fair agreement. She might get hostile but this is what comes from a divorce. Take your equal share and rebuild your life OP.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:04 AM
6

So you’re interested in paying 6-7% interest rate on another home to start fresh ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:41 PM
4

OP never leave your house & lawyer up asap. Seek joint custody, divide up assets and debt equally . As for alimony does she make more than you ? In some states the spouse that earns more might end up paying the other but it all depends. You can trade for example part of your 401k in exchange for her dropping alimony . Everything can be negotiated especially if you are on talking terms.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:39 PM
5

I’d take full advantage of the situation and present her with a fair settlement agreement for her to sign immediately. Let her know since she wants to be friendly , this is the way to go in order to avoid excessive lawyer fees & court room drama. Then walk away and be business like. Unfortunately, any spouse willing to walk away from a decades long relationship is either involved with someone else or she’s done using you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:41 AM
5

If your wife is quick to discard you there was no love by her but rather is done using you. You my friend were involved in a manipulationship. Give her a settlement agreement that is fair to both , get her to sign quickly in order to avoid costly lawyers who will bankrupt you. You can still coparent together and be a great dad to your children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 12:20 AM
2

SATAN with pic of Devil
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 12:17 AM
1

Your analysis on abandonment is 100% spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 10:12 PM
2

OP you should be more concerned about the length of marriage because it can determine the length of alimony. No prenup???
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 09:17 PM
4

OP find out if she has an attorney or will rep herself . Try reach agreement with her directly and have your lawyer draft up the settlement agreement asap for her to sign. It’s cheaper this way and less stress/drama.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 03:44 PM
1

OP take the high road when you file and be positive while keeping your emotions in check. . Print out copy of her messages to hand to her since she’ll want to know why you filed and inform her you just want an amicable divorce agreement. Start by separating your finances, present her with equal split such as custody , assets etc. To save a ton of money if both of you are talking, you can directly work out the agreement and then have your lawyer draft up the agreement . It will save you money & s…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 04:11 PM
4

Aren’t we an equal society? Requiring only men to register is gender discrimination
/r/MensRights21/06/24 12:15 AM
1

No 29 year old is going to take her seriously, especially with kids that are not his. Once the love bombing wears off and euphoria is gone the routine will kick in and boyfriend will grow tired & be gone . Focus the time you have with your kids
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 09:11 PM
1

There are stringent sexual harassment laws that can place the employer in severe trouble especially if HR isn’t doing there job to stop harassment. May I suggest consulting an attorney.
/r/MensRights24/10/22 10:52 AM
1

Nothing is going to change until we contact our state representatives , setup a meeting , bring real data that shows the impact of fathers not being part of raising their children and the impact on society cost wise has.
/r/MensRights10/10/22 08:45 PM
11

Gotta ask what was her excuse ? Seems like this was intentional. I know because this is exactly what happened to me 21 years ago. You don’t want to know what happened in those years . Best of luck and never trust anyone like that
/r/MensRights28/09/22 11:40 PM
3

Selective service act gender discriminates . If we all are to be considered equal than everyone should be included in the SSA regardless of gender , orientation etc.
/r/MensRights16/06/22 05:23 PM
30

If the women files the paperwork yes you can be sure she’s officially ending the relationship
/r/MensRights31/05/22 10:45 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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