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View 2 posts and 55 comments by NoStuffTA on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
27

DATING ADVICENoStuffTA/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 01:35 AM
9

ADVICENoStuffTA/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:48 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Can you switch things up to help your schedules align better? Try showering in the morning, or after doing the deed. Or consider showering together as part of foreplay. I agree with others to try a couples quickies here and there. I had this problem with my ex-husband, where sex was awesome but it lasted so long that I was too tired to do it late at night. He was unwilling to do quickies because he wanted to ensure I got off, and also he felt I wasn't actually into it. (Wrong). Is there anything…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/25 02:08 AM
1

Interesting comments about the "comfort" stage happening, I'll have to reflect on that and see if it has anything to do with what was going on. I do think I did a good job conveying that I was willing to wait, make sacrifices so he could focus on work. I was trying to problem- solve it, instead of letting him take the lead. For example, I explicitly said we could do a scheduled phone call once a week, instead of daily communication. I offered up cheap date ideas instead of going out, even virtua…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/25 05:19 PM
1

Sorry for the delayed response, but I guess it was becoming a pattern. He was busy, I pushed for more interactions, and he said he started feeling guilty for not being available. Made comments like "All I ever do is apologize lately, I'm being a bad bf, I can't pretend you're OK with the relationship suffering while I'm busy with work," etc. The break up message included a lot about this guilt, and him admitting he had to choose his business over me. I was thinking about doing an update post, be…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/25 10:34 PM
3

I didn't give an ultimatum, but I wanted to be honest about my role in things. I'll give 2 specific examples of me pushing. We had a tradition of hanging out every Sunday night after he dropped the kids back at their mom's. While he was on his long business trip in FL, he still flew home every other weekend for his custody time. We both assumed the tradition would continue (but without specific dates or plans made), but he had to cancel 2 weekends in a row. The 2nd time he canceled, I expressed …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 05:49 PM
2

It was similar with us in the beginning, about how busy were both were. We matched and actually chatted for 10 days until the first date, because he had a pre-planned trip lol he's such a great communicator 99% of the time that I always felt a sense of closeness and attention from him He definitely juggled a lot, even when things were the best. I was internally proud that he'd run around like crazy to meet all his obligations and still make time for me - and he always put the onus of driving on …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 05:36 PM
1

I remember seeing your post! I'll check it out thank you. I'm sure he still has good feelings towards me, I just dislike feeling dependent whether or not he's in a better headspace. He chased me in the beginning, and I'm trying to hard to follow all the advice and not chase him. I felt pushy enough trying to follow up on him paying me back.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 11:58 PM
4

if it’s not that serious, then yeah breaking up is a nice way to relieve the pressure of another person depending on me. are you not a serious partner? why accept being treated like an unserious partner? That's a very good comment. Very perceptive, definitely gives me something to think about
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 07:17 PM
3

Lol yea it's one of the benefits of being late 30's. And why I made sure to include my age, since I knew the advice would be wildly different since I'm so established. Marriage had been on the table, along with the possibility of a kid together, but we both realized that it would be hard with my age, and the age gaps with his kids. The ease with which marriage/wedding stuff popped into casual conversations was eerily similar to how my ex husband brought it up, too. I specifically wanted red pill…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 07:03 PM
4

Thank you for the perspective. Yes it's sobering that he pulled back, and when I'm not sad and missing him I do realize it was a selfish move for him to block me out. We kind of had that conversation, a month before the break up, and he said he just couldn't stop feeling guilty. I think he was in a shame spiral, and the more I tried to Be There, the worse he felt Interesting to hear that you're a high achiever too! Thanks for calling me the prize lol My ex definitely out earned me, but I'm very …
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 06:28 PM
3

Thank you. At least that advice is simple lol But you're right that I'm still wondering if this is a good idea. I know everyone looks back at the good times with rose colored glasses, but I was so genuinely happy and fulfilled when we were together. But I can't ignore that it only lasted a year
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 06:24 PM
4

What I don’t like for you is that when things got tough he dropped you. Unless you pushed for that. I did not push for that. In an attempt to Own My Shit, I'll say that I ended up taking the lead / pushing for time together almost as soon as he returned home. I told him I found it odd he maintained our relationship at an acceptable level to me while long distance, but once he was home it got overwhelming to him. He hasn’t earned your help. That's fair. I'm not planning to volunteer to be an unpa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 05:33 PM
10

OP, you might benefit from nun mode, AKA introspection and self-improvement. I know that "it's just reddit," but your post history shows you concentrating on what other people are doing, perhaps too heavily. Stop lurking in mental health / bi-polar disorder subs. Stop consuming so much TikTok. Stop trying to psycho-analyze other people's relationships, and focus on your own. Have you read up on attachment styles? I think they're more fluid in real life than the articles and book describe, but I …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/25 04:30 PM
5

Along with this, another compounding factor is OP wants to be part-time or even SAHM eventually - but how will that fit alongside her medical school debt? Most doctors have to grind very hard for years to pay down their typical six-figures in student loan debt. If OP is planning to exit the workforce, maybe the men she's dating are worried they'll be expected to pay for this, which is above and beyond the typical provider mindset.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 02:31 PM
6

I've used the apps, and in my opinion, if you're messaging hundreds of guys daily you're doing it wrong. Vetting requires quality conversation, which you won't get in superficial conversations on the apps. Second, it's far easier to screen first for shared values, monogamous relationship, kids, career expectations... it weeds men (on apps) out way faster than almost anything else I found. Because it's much easier to lie about fake financials than to fake quality values and good personality. And …
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/25 02:42 PM
2

Asking about your nephews but getting the day wrong is not gaslighting. You were upset about a free upgraded seat on your flight? He's correct that most people desire the seats with extra legroom, I'm unclear why you think this required an emotional response from him. Him talking about wearing clean underwear and talking about that kind of magazine were both indicators that he wanted to be sexual with you. But all of that is nothing compared to when you mentioned that he literally kicked you out…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/24 09:01 PM
1

I was then worried with the days go by, he may one day disappear and I can’t reach out to him if I’m really pregnant by then. I was also running possibilities in my head at that time, if I’m really pregnant and he disappears, I will have to decide if to keep or abort. OP, this right here is an example of commitment before sex. It seems like your only method of communication was through either texting or bumble? One way to gage commitment before sex is look at how will you know each other, and ho…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/24 08:48 PM
3

I feel this so hard. My bf of almost 1 year is late 30's, and while he's normally an amazing texter (and phone caller!) he's had a long work trip that has worn me down. What helps me is remembering all the people he also has to communicate with: his own family and friends, his employees, his clients, his kids and their mom, sometimes the lawyers, and then he runs a social media group where he mentors people in his field. I'm sure your man has similar things going on! Plus working remotely has pr…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 02:52 AM
23

Wow, I just read up on the Josseli Barnica case you mentioned. It was gross medical malpractice, but did you note the date it happened? Sept 2021. 9 months before Roe v Wade was overturned. This has nothing to do with the election. But again, there was a provision even in the heartbeat bill that should have allowed care.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:02 PM
1

The man I'm dating had to back out of a commitment to pick me up from the airport, because he couldn't end his business trip early enough. He ordered a car service to drive me, and the girl friend I was traveling with, to make up for it. Heck, even while divorcing my cheating ex-husband, my car broke down and he still offered to come move it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:54 PM
18

Yea, but that didn't just suddenly happen on Tuesday. So were was this outrage in summer of 2022? And regarding those deaths... I've read the detailed articles on most of those women, and there's a healthy dose of medical malpractice involved in those cases before you even get to the point of needing a D&C. The Texas law in particular would have allowed the procedure well before the hospital decided to attempt it in the case of Naveah Crain. Dozens have been performed in Tx after the ban, and no…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:45 PM
9

Agree it's baffling, especially because nothing negative happened in his first term, and there's no plans put forth to remove any rights, but everyone has a feeling it'll happen, so they're just being reactive. They also fail to look up voting demographics. If it were purely conservative men who voted for him, he wouldn't have won. There's a great article (not sure I'm allowed to link it) that break down how widespread the support was. So this reactive group isn't even turning against the right …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:36 PM
14

Can you elaborate on what rights you've lost? With concrete examples, not just "a feeling that men will become less respectful and more dangerous"
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 03:27 PM
6

One piece of advice I can offer you, about having clear boundaries while playing rough and doing spicy things, is communicate these boundaries ahead of time, and agree on a safe word. This way there's no ambiguity about whether to stop or not stop. Either for this guy or any other one you date. The simplest is red means hard stop, no question. Yellow means it's ok for now, but change it up soon, or slow down, or decrease intensity. That's up to you. If someone ignores these very reasonable and c…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 03:12 PM
2

May I ask what you both normally do for each other's birthdays? Just because I totally understand wanting to be celebrated on what is a special day to you, but that also is hard to reconcile with this from your post We hate each other, pretty much. Sleep in separate beds. Have had sex twice since our son has been born (he's 2.5). We rarely have fun together as a family. So if there's no day to day intimacy, or kind words, or caring gestures, I fear you might've unintentionally set yourself up fo…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 11:09 PM
5

They want a woman that other men desire but can’t have. Wow, what a great way to put it. And that ties in really well to loyalty, because the man should be rock solid in the knowledge that you would never actually entertain attention from those guys. My boyfriend and I talked about these situations and boundaries early on, although in a very relaxed way. And he admitted that an ex of his would put herself in sketchy situations. Partying without him, hanging with one of her ex's, drinking too muc…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 01:23 PM
3

Thank you, and good point about my own goals! I think my main problem here is that I'm not too sure of them myself. I'm late 30s, divorced, but no kids, successful, and still attractive. He's the same age, very involved with his kids, sets pretty firm boundaries with their mom. Also attractive lol, energetic, and successful with his own business. I feel like we have "matching baggage." But while I'd like to get married again, I've long thought it's not a deal breaker for me. Both of us are leani…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 11:03 PM
1

I follow the main/ biggest step parent sub, but most women who post there seem to need a lot of support. The posts describe men who don't pull their own weight, or are submissive to the mother of the child(ren), and the advice is almost always "leave him," which I know is more advice this sub would every give so soon. That resentment frequently leads to the poster disengaging from the step kids, and even her partner. It's good to see the bad side of a step parent relationship, of course. But the…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 10:52 PM
3

Thank you, that post was an intense read. Always good to remember that even with the perfect plan, things might not work out the way either person in a relationship expects.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 10:46 PM
3

Can you expand on the "dating a man with kids" aspect? I feel that isn't talked about much here. I've been with a man for 6 months, and things are amazing, but it's hard to find dating advice for someone with kids. He has 3, I have none, but the online advice for me seems to be don't dare help with the kids because 1) they'll resent it or 2) the man will come to rely on it. I have not yet met these kids, but we know about each other, and my bf has been really upfront about why he's taking it slo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 11:55 PM
6

The point is that a gentle redirection won't be enough, and this lady will steamroll over it and continue monopolizing the event. Anything blunt enough to get through to her might make your normal friends uncomfortable. But bear in mind her complaining probably also makes people uncomfortable, so it's really a "pick your poison" situation. You will probably upset somebody: yourself, your friend, or the entire friends group. As for a technique, when she starts in on complaints, you can interrupt …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 10:36 AM
4

It's true you can't lose weight and spot-reduce fat, but you can certainly work out certain body areas. A strong core is very important to a lot of things besides a flat stomach: good posture, a strong pelvic floor, bouncing back after pregnancy. Visible abs will only happen after weight loss, combined with low body fat and good genetics. But the fupa will reduce or possibly go away entirely after healthy, sustained weight loss. Plus, working out the upper and lower body (legs/glutes, and back/s…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 01:46 AM
8

Still drives me mad and I feel like I need to make him feel like he did w me This was mentioned on a prior post of yours, but if you intentionally set out to hurt your partner's feelings, of course you'll never have a happy relationship. That's a very toxic mindset I'm curious, what RPW strategies do you actually follow? Because being this high conflict is nearly the full opposite of being a "soft place to land," esp if things are already rough between you guys. You have problems with sexual fre…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 05:45 PM
8

Most couples allow platonic chit chat with people of the opposite sex, so you cannot say FOR SURE that it was disrespectful. Esp since the communication was before he met you, and very early on in your relationship. Once you brought it up, and he knew you didn't like it, he stopped talking to her, and even deleted his entire Twitter profile for you. I don't even post pics on IG even tho I have a massive following out of respect for him. This is not a universal sign of respect. You can have it, b…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 05:38 PM
2

So from December to now, I have been working 8-5, and coming home to clean, do laundry, make dinner, do the dishes (just recently got a dishwasher, I hand washed for months), take out the trash, and do the grocery shopping. OP, is there any other background info you can share about your workload? Commute, caring for family members, high expectations about the household from your husband? Because with all due respect, what you shared is the literal average workload of a working adult. Yes it woul…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/24 10:35 PM
4

I deleted the screenshot immediately because I felt bad but my boyfriend later found it on my phone. So he somehow decided to check your deleted items folder. IMO phone transparency is one thing, but searching through deleted photos seems like he was trying to find a "gotcha!" moment. I cannot speak to his motives, but the consequence is that he's now holding this over you and controlling your behavior with it. You also said in a previous post that the phone transparency is one-way. When he chea…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 11:54 PM
8

Did you actually cheat on him though? Can you describe what happened to get better advice? In your old posts, you mentioned that you continued a friendship with a guy you had previously dated, but didn't inform your current partner about it. He found out, was angry and made you feel unsafe. You also said that happened early in the relationship, which is at least 2 years ago now. Is this issue still a cause of contention between you two? Or did something new happen on your end? You said you previ…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 02:22 PM
2

Why is he trying to "get a rise out of you" at all? The way I usually hear this phrase is when one person is purposely trying to provoke, insult, or annoy another person. Is this the true intent behind your husband's reactions, or just a phrase you chose to use here?
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 09:34 PM
2

I almost fell into this trap with my ex. We had what felt like a nearly-perfect relationship - the only negative was he had constraints on his time and attention being a single father in a custody battle. I thought that by nurturing him and helping him through this rough patch, he'd want me back harder than ever. BUT I made that choice logically, and gave myself a deadline of his custody trial to reevaluate. We also had a couple decent conversations about this during our slow time. All of that w…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 06:03 PM
7

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm currently going through a breakup with a bf, who did something very similar. Thankfully we have no children together. But I feel crushed because I thought I vetted him so well, and there were no warning flags until the very very end u/JustAnotherBoymoder is right about the Madonna Whore Complex, looking back I realize that I think my ex had put me in that 'mother' box and somehow felt justified in fulfilling his needs elsewhere... despite me being right there and a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 05:51 PM
1

Oh, just realized I never answered your questions about support system. He is close to his mom and maternal side of the family, but I haven't met them yet so I wouldn't feel comfortable reaching out about his business. From the way things were going in the summer, I thought we'd meet each other's families around the holidays, but then all of this happened.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:29 PM
1

Thank you so much. There's at least another month until everything shakes out. I hope his daughter is doing ok; I haven't seen her in a bit, so I just hope that she's excited to see me again when we manage it. I think there's a court-related reason why he hasn't brought me around her lately, but that's another boundary so I'm not even going to ask. He is passing along my Christmas presents to her, so I think that's a good sign :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:24 PM
1

That's so kind of you to say, thank you. I do think he was vetting for a more caring and nurturing person. We didn't discuss our ex's too much, but it was the one big thing he complained about with his ex/mother of his child. Not just bad at housework, but lazy and inept when she actually tried. Poor standards and safety issues when being SAHM to the kid. Thinking about it, he's probably slightly terrified of her getting any extra custody time for these reasons. Meanwhile I'm over here stocking …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:19 PM
1

A woman's loyalty during this ordeal will be incredibly important to him. I really hope this turns out to be the case! He's shown that he can treat me very well, when his attention is not diverted by this drama. I do hope that there's no internal reasons that he's stepping back, and that we can return to or reestablish normal routines. I think I've shown a consistently good nature to him that would make him want to return to me as soon as he can. He's never acted like he just wants a replacement…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:24 AM
4

Glad to have your professional opinion on this! I never realized how... all encompassing custody issues seem to be. My guy pretty much echoed what you just said - he's in a very poor mood, didn't think he could be pleasant company, and didn't want to take out his mood on me.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 09:07 PM
3

Oh the origin of that phrase is not what I thought it was! It always sounded overly reductive when applied to dating, so makes sense it's actually not about dating. I've been very cognizant of not making court about me! Trying to find the right balance of making sure he knows he's wanted, and trying to be there and support him, but not pushing and also still wanting attention and to have some of my needs met. I see that he's trying; we live an hour apart, but work close, so we've had a couple of…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 02:50 AM
7

Thank you. I know advice here usually includes a lot of "working on yourself," which I'm thankful I did last year. I know I develop anxious tendencies without consistent communication, and that it's my issue to deal with. I also like to take action, so learning to take a step back and follow someone else's lead is a relief, but I also still have to concentrate and actively choose to do that.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 02:34 AM
1

Hey it's ok, I don't check this account much either! You bring up good points. I guess I should have started off with that I'm a non-traditional rpw? I'm mid-30s, divorced after my ex had an affair, and I'm dating a single dad with majority custody. The large life event is his ex suing for greater custody, and mediation failed so they're doing a full trial. I have not had the marriage talk with him, because honestly while I still respect the institution, and would like it for myself again, it's …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 03:02 AM
1

Oh yes I've seen some toxic behavior perpetuated by woman - sometimes in the name of finding a "provider" man! The most common I've seen is expecting the man to do literally all of the travel or driving to come see her. I'm near NYC so it's really common for transport issues to crop up early in dating. When dating, I always just assumed "meet in the middle' was respectful of both people's time and energy, but it's def being treated as a shit test to see how far a man will travel. Plus they are s…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 02:53 AM
7

So essentially his telling you to make a decision is him being a leader. He is delegating a task/choice to be made by you. I learned this here, and when done right is such a relief! This happened to me when planning a date in the early stages of dating the guy I'm seeing. He offered 3 different options for a lunch date, and my first instinct to be submissive was to defer the choice to him. Then I realized he already made his choice - he wanted me to pick one I'd be happy with! So I did, and than…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 07:56 PM
2

Based on your examples of PMS, or a stressful exam, I took #2 to mean recognize when you're abnormally sad or stressed, and take steps to ensure you don't snap or take it out on your man. Being sad or vulnerable about a legitimately stressful incident is normal, and like others said I would want comfort. But snapping, or allowing my sad mood to color unrelated interactions without warning would probably not inspire a man to comfort me; he'd just think I'm being a downer. If that's not how you me…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 02:41 PM
1

so I wonder if introversion has a fair bit to do with being ready for marriage earlier. Does RPW believe in the "illusion of choice" concept that is prevalent in dating subs? Maybe someone being extroverted leads them to believe they have more options, so they're less keen to settle down at a younger age. I have noticed that my introverted friends settled down earlier and stayed in their relationships longer
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 05:59 PM
1

it will turn on in due time if you have vetted for similar values and have maintained a healthy relationship in the meantime. I'm curious if you think there's a version of this for dating when you're older? If a man has a reason other than youth for his light being "off" at the moment, is it an acceptable risk to stay with him for a bit to see where it goes? I'm mid 30s, been dating a man same age, and a big life event came up that made him need to pause the progression of the relationship for a…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 05:49 PM
3

Indeed this thread itself was eye-opening. Is there a redpill perspective on a way to ask for more of what I want? Or is it just say yes every time? Thinking back to the old marriage, I tried giving suggestions. Like if he was freshly showered it was a turn on. Or that I was more energetic and horny right after work - I requested he come home from work on time so we could both enjoy doing it more. Despite talking about it we never fixed it. I'm still in New Relationship Energy stage with my bf n…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 09:07 PM
18

I'm glad I'm here reading this advice. My relationship with my ex soured, and we didn't have a lot of sex, which led to him having an affair. I remember back then, privately tracking how often we did it, and justifying to myself that it was enough. I had decided how much sex was "enough" for him, about once a week, which sounded like a good amount to me. Definitely not like the dead bedroom sub. I didn't care that he wanted it more, there was always an excuse. I was tired, did too many chores, h…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 01:28 AM
3

Hey, I usually lurk here, but I wanted to add something about online dating that hasn't been mentioned much. I agree with all the top strategies to build your profile, but you'll also need to vet very, very carefully. Most online dating apps have more male users than female, and those stats mean that men treat it as a "numbers game" by swiping yes on almost every single female profile they see. They screen for women they like after they've gotten the match; whereas we women are much, much pickie…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 02:14 PM
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